Homestuck SCPs

[flutterShy]

Oh dear. The ██████ are getting smarter.

[Graven_Image]

I don't think the units needed to be prefixed with "Imperial" and "Metric/SI". I'm pretty sure there's only one kind each of feet, meters, etc.

[elitehakor]

Dibs on the Totem Lathe

[Action Zero]

Rose ███████, seer of mind.

She's the Seer of Light

[lucidSeraph]

Hm. I think this thing is in serious need of editing, so any suggestions you guys have on how to make this better are welcome. Also, the various interviews / incident reports / datalogs are all fair game for anybody who wants to tackle them.

SCP 1023

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As of [DATA EXPUNGED], all information concerning 1023 is restricted under orders of O5-█. This means you, [REDACTED].

-Dr. ██████

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Accessing SCP database...
Running Timetables.BAT...
...
...
Access granted
Level: O5

Item #: SCP 1023

Object Class: Safe / Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP 1023 is to be kept in Vault-█, accessible only to O5-status personnel and Dr. ████

Under no circumstances should SCP 1023 be brought within five hundred meters of any artificial device capable of performing computations, up to and including an abacus. This includes artificially created biological computers of any kind (such as SCP ████)

SCP 1023's existence must be kept secret from all examples of SCP 1024 and SCP 1025. While these individuals may be questioned about SCP 1023, the fact that the Foundation currently contains copies must not be made known. This is especially vital concerning SCP 1025-8.

Description: SCP 1023 is a set of six pairs of compact disks in paper sleeves. Each disk and sleeve has a logo shaped like a spirograph, labeled with the name █████ Beta. One pair is always labeled “Server”; the other “Player”. Each comes with a set of installation instructions.

The first copy of SCP 1023 was discovered in Agent ████'s mailbox in a standard FedEx envelope with no return address. Agent ████ claimed that he did not know where the disks came from and that he did not order the game. Following this incident, five other SCP employees of varying clearances also received copies.

Testing was scheduled to begin on SCP 1023 on [DATA EXPUNGED], but this was interrupted by the sudden arrival of a copy of Agent ████ to the testing site. The copy of Agent ████ carried a pair of ████ █████████ on his person and proceeded to attempt to retrieve all copies of the disks by [DATA EXPUNGED]. The copy of Agent ████ was killed by security personnel before he could complete this task.

Several more copies of Agent ████ arrived within the next hour, each subsequently dying in increasingly improbable ways before one copy managed to actually speak to personnel. This individual will henceforth be known as Copy 25. Copy 25 allowed himself to be taken into custody, whereupon he explained as best he could the functioning of SCP 1023. A detailed description of these events are found in Incident Report 1023-a; transcripts of the conversations with Copy 25 can be found at Interviews 1023 a-h.

According to Copy 25, SCP 1023 is a videogame that allows one to take control of the environment. It requires, at a minimum, two players – a “server” and a “player.” The Server controls the environment, while the Player interacts with the environment. An individual player is expected to serve both roles.

Upon installing the game, SCP 1023 causes massive restructuring of the timeline, as evidenced by Copy 25's reactions to the environment around him. Copy 25 exhibited an ability to store items similar to SCP 1024 and SCP 1025, as well as [DATA EXPUNGED]. He expressed confusion at his interrogator's lack of such an ability, followed by relief, stating that he'd [DATA EXPUNGED]. Copy 25 provided further evidence through the use of his ███████, which had extensive recordings of gameplay on it for future reference (this footage can be viewed under Datalog 1023-a)

As evidenced by the recovered footage and Copy 25's testimony, SCP 1023's restructuring of the timeline causes the players to become clones of themselves via the use of a stable time loop. It also begins a count down as meteors wipe the planet's surface clean of life.

SCP 1023's purpose seems twofold. It allows the colonization of a host planet by ███████ and █████████. Copy 25 seemed to believe that the ultimate goal of SCP 1023 is the creation of a new universe, but how true this is seems to be unknown. When asked why he did not then finish the game, he said that “[REDACTED] fucking prototypes SCP 682. In every fucking timeline. It's always SCP 1025-8's fault, something about that bitch wanting us to have a 'real challenge'. And that's not even going into the timelines where [REDACTED] prototypes [DATA EXPUNGED]. I mean we're in a facility full of this shit. There's no way a session with SCP agents in it can be winnable. Especially not with 1025-8 around.”

SCP 1023 seems to be the same game that SCPs 1024-████ have been involved in. It is as yet unknown how these individuals came to this 'session'; Copy 25 has suggested that a ██████ might be responsible.

Addendum 1025-a: Copy 25 was killed this morning in Incident 1025-3. Given the possible effects of SCP 1023, no further testing will be done.

Addendum 1025-b: A new copy of Agent ████ has appeared, henceforth called Copy 26. Interrogation has begun (see [DATA EXPUNGED])

Addendum 1025-c: Copy 26 was killed this morning during [DATA EXPUNGED]

Addendum 1025-d: New copies of Agent ████ continue to appear, though at much more distant intervals. Each time seems to be the result of someone allowing SCP 1023 near a computational device (once near a properly configured series of ████████ and ████ ). A few incidents have been due to personnel new to SCP ordering testing done on SCP 1023; containment procedures have been updated to take this new data into account.

Can we seriously get a handle on the copies of me? Why is it always me, for that matter? Why not Dr. ████ or [REDACTED]? - Agent ████

Addendum 1025-e: Future copies of Agent ████ are never to be allowed near SCP 1025-8; SCP 1025-8 must never discover that copies of the game exist in this universe.

Last copy of Agent ████ said that SCP 1025-8 did something to someone to make them install the game in the last timeline; something about how she said that this'd be the best session ever? How we'd get all the levels...? - Dr. ████

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SERAPH, WHY THE HELL IS IT 'SAFE' CLASS!? That is because of the Locked Box test, on this page, which you all should look at. Yes, SCP 1023 is capable of ending the world. Fortunately, if you put it in a locked box, that won't happen. Hopefully.

The thing BECOMES Keter class once it's installed on a hard drive, because then you've got FUCKING METEORS and END OF THE WORLD

Other stuff: Agent ████ was invented as a way for me to still have SCP 1023 tested, but not y'know. End the world. So yes, this means that there's a series of SCP null sessions, which could be a Forum Adventure / roleplay in itself

[Zombiitwo]

Now I want to make a HS-SCP adventure. :V

[elitehakor]

The Totem Lathe:

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Item #: SCP-1023-2

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1023-2 is to be stored in an underground storage facility 100m away from SCP-1023-1 or -3. SCP-1024 are prohibited from entering the storage area. Tests including one or more of the SCP-1024 and one or more of the SCP-1023 must be approved by OS personnel.

Description: SCP-1023-2 is a large machine that is 10m x 50cm x 2m. The majority of the machine resembles a lathe. The leftmost part of the machine has the ██████████ design, similar to those on SCP-1023-1 and -3. Under the ██████████ is a slot that seems to fit a card. Next to the slot is a switch that activates SCP-1023-2.

SCP-1023-2 works the same way as regular lathe. The ███████ ██████ is placed on the lathe, and the card is placed inside the slot. Upon activating, the lathe spins the ███████ ██████ while a blade comes down and etches a pattern into the ███████ ██████. The etched ███████ ██████ is then used to [DATA EXPUNGED].


SCP-1023-2, along with SCP-1023-1 and -3, are created using the game construct █████, and are a main part of the game. Further detail can be read on SCP-1023-1’s article.


Addendum 1023-2a: After interviews with SCP-1024, we have concluded that the machine works using █████cards. However, all attempts to retrieve the █████████ ███████ have failed, due to the machine only being able in a certain part of the game called [REDACTED].

Addendum 1023-2b: SCP-1023-2 is now to be kept under Level 4 security protocol.
Who the hell thought it was a good idea to move SCP-1023-2 to the workshop? - OS-█

[Graven_Image]

I almost feel bad for Agent ████.

It's hard, being an Operative of Time. It's hard and no one understands.

[Bellstrom]

I may want to try my hand at one of these. Though it'll probably end up being absolute shit.

EDIT: Actually, you know what? Put me down for dibs on Hearts Boxcars.


EDIIT: No, actually, I undib HB and dib Lil Cal (put him as SCP-1024-1g-δ). He's much more of an interesting subject than a really strong dude who's only supernatural features are his deck of cards/wrathtub and how he only rolls boxcars.

[lucidSeraph]

I almost feel bad for Agent ████.

It's hard, being an Operative of Time. It's hard and no one understands.

I have all kinds of ideas about him, really. Every time some idiot starts the game he ends up in the chain because he has one glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, THIS will be the time that a copy of him doesn't show up at SCP headquarters.

And then Vriska makes somebody prototype SCP 682 pre-entry and shit becomes fucked. and Agent ████ is sad.

And then the alpha version of Agent ████ has to deal with YET ANOTHER copy of him running around.

[Graven_Image]

That article was pretty good, too. I wonder if we could see the logs mentioned within...

Yes, I'm asking you to do more. Because that was awesome.

[mythmonster2]

Oh God, now I wonder what SCP-173sprite would be. IS NOT GOOD.

[Graven_Image]

OPEN SPRITELOG

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AGENT: 173?
AGENT: Hello?
AGENT: ...
173SPRITE: HALLLOOOOO
AGENT: Whoa.
173SPRITE: I CAN TASTE YOUR GALLBLADDERRRRRRR

[Lucinice]

Oh God, now I wonder what SCP-173sprite would be. IS NOT GOOD.

Which one is SCP-173? Is it the statue that moves when you don't look?

[lucidSeraph]

That article was pretty good, too. I wonder if we could see the logs mentioned within...

Yes, I'm asking you to do more. Because that was awesome.

well




okay

I'll be slow as always but eventually you will get your event lawgs. Just. Need to come up with a way to make the six SCP employees stand out from each other despite blanked out names.

Oh God, now I wonder what SCP-173sprite would be. IS NOT GOOD.

The sprite ITSELF is fine. It's forced to help player characters. So the damn thing is just a pain in the ass because it won't DO shit while you're looking at it and communicates solely in creepy grinding noises.

actually I imagine it to be like Calsprite :|

The PROBLEM comes with the Imps. Who have superstrength and can't be killed, but then again they don't move when you're looking at them.

... and then imps were Weeping Angels.

But yeah the reason that SCP sessions NEVER succeed is just because THINK OF ALL THE HORRIFYING THINGS THAT COULD GET PROTOTYPED.

@Graven_Image I lol'd. that's pretty much it.

[Varkarrus]

It might make the final boss quite easy, assuming they keep looking at it.

[mythmonster2]

There is simply so much potential with SCP and Sburb. We need more SCPsprites. I'm on it.

[Varkarrus]

Maybe they used the cruxtruder to extrude sprites and somehow travel back in time with nothing more than a log of experiments involving them to prevent it from ever happening? So that then they could experiment with other sprites?

[Lucinice]

We need more SCPsprites. I'm on it.

I bet 80 percent of them will be horrifying. Although SCP 173 sprite came out pretty humorous.

[lucidSeraph]

Maybe they used the cruxtruder to extrude sprites and somehow travel back in time with nothing more than a log of experiments involving them to prevent it from ever happening? So that then they could experiment with other sprites?

...

L-lol I'm on this. Dr. Whatever and Agent Timefucked figure that the session is d00med anyway, might as well FUCK AROUND AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.

[raequiem]

173SPRITE: I CAN TASTE YOUR GALLBLADDERRRRRRR

Words cannot describe how funny I find this one line. I have been giggling nonstop for five minutes and counting.

But yes, I like the idea of documenting a session of SCPburb. Gives this thread something to do once we've SCP'd everything in the canon.

[mythmonster2]

And a half-baked spritelog emerges!


BEGIN SPRITELOG:

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682sprite: Worthless human. It seems you have found one way to neutralize me. I cannot even harm you in this form. Damn you.
Agent ████████: You can stop trying to bite me in half, 682. According to 1024, you’re my “sprite” now. You’re supposed to give us info on this game. Like why this section of the Foundation is now floating above some place full of ice and huge blades of grass.
682sprite: Land of Dew and Ice.
Agent ████████: What was that?
682sprite: You’re in the Land of Dew and Ice. Ripping that sheet of paper took you here. Now, every molecule of my programming is screaming for me to explain everything to you, but I will NOT help one of you beasts.
Agent ████████: You will tell me eventually. 1024 has confirmed that.
682sprite: Where are the trolls?
Agent ████████: The what?
682sprite: I must protect them… the only reason I stayed at that damned facility was because I knew I would once again find living troll children to protect. It is my nature. My duty as a lusus.
Agent ████████: As a what? If I knew making you a sprite would make you this cryptic I would have done it with something else, like a pencil. Why won’t you fucking help me!?
682sprite: Very well. I shall help you. Look behind you.
[Agent ████████ has been killed by an imp!]
Future Agent ████: Whoops, not far enough.
682sprite: At least attempt to not put me into this despicable form this time, worthless scum.
Future Agent ████: Believe me, that’s exactly what I’m trying to do here.

[Rukafais]

...Oh god SCP-035sprite. /cries forever

BAD SCP. WORST SPRITE. Prototyping it would probably make it convince all the players to kill themselves by emotional manipulation and telepathy. 8T

[Katrika]

This stuff is sooo good.

[Bortabanes Fahouloir]

And a half-baked spritelog emerges!


BEGIN SPRITELOG:

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682sprite: Worthless human. It seems you have found one way to neutralize me. I cannot even harm you in this form. Damn you.
Agent ████████: You can stop trying to bite me in half, 682. According to 1024, you’re my “sprite” now. You’re supposed to give us info on this game. Like why this section of the Foundation is now floating above some place full of ice and huge blades of grass.
682sprite: Land of Dew and Ice.
Agent ████████: What was that?
682sprite: You’re in the Land of Dew and Ice. Ripping that sheet of paper took you here. Now, every molecule of my programming is screaming for me to explain everything to you, but I will NOT help one of you beasts.
Agent ████████: You will tell me eventually. 1024 has confirmed that.
682sprite: Where are the trolls?
Agent ████████: The what?
682sprite: I must protect them… the only reason I stayed at that damned facility was because I knew I would once again find living troll children to protect. It is my nature. My duty as a lusus.
Agent ████████: As a what? If I knew making you a sprite would make you this cryptic I would have done it with something else, like a pencil. Why won’t you fucking help me!?
682sprite: Very well. I shall help you. Look behind you.
[Agent ████████ has been killed by an imp!]
Future Agent ████: Whoops, not far enough.
682sprite: At least attempt to not put me into this despicable form this time, worthless scum.
Future Agent ████: Believe me, that’s exactly what I’m trying to do here.

This. 682sprite (and the derivated thought of 682 being a lusus) is the first thing I thought of when someone mentioned SCPsprites.