Homestuck SCPs

[Katrika]

Yay!

I'll work on it in a little bit. Things like his name won't be revealed til the end, but they're good to know. I'm thinking Drew something.

[Zombiitwo]

D-class personnel aren't prisoners. They're there like interns. They're just expendable.
Unless you're talking about Droog, then no I don't think anyone has dibbed him.

Uh, no, actually; D-class personnel are generally crimminals on death row who are assigned to the SCP instead of being executed. The expectation is that they WILL die.

Or sometimes SCP agents/doctors/etc who have SERIOUSLY fucked up.

Shit I need to reread shit.
Ok yeah go ahead then.

[Katrika]

Anyway, he feels pretty bad about that. He didn't want to KILL anyone, he just wanted to rob a bank. Totally different, see?

But he'd been on Death Row for a while and currently he's too busy trying not to die to angst or anything.

Hmmm, since he's a D-class, his weapon probably shouldn't be anything...traditionally a weapon. They wouldn't give them guns or knives or anything. I'm thinking a plastic spork from the cafeteria to start, which he later alchemizes into metal, and then he keeps upgrading it...but it's pretty useless at first.

Sound good?

[HelloMoto]

Well here it is. I finished it then left it open in Word, too nervous to post
Item #: SCP-1030
Object Class: Euclid

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Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1030a-d are each to be placed on pedestals and placed in a hermetically sealed room lined with SCP-148 so as to prevent tampering by any member of SCP-1025. These are not to come into contact with any member of SCP-612. If this occurs both objects are to be upgraded to Keter and lethal force is authorized to neutralize any such threat.
Description: Each instance of SCP-1030 is a plain scepter, measuring approx. 4’ in length. Each has a 5” crown that tapers down to 1”, where the scepter is typically held. Each scepter has a 4” blue sphere that seems to [DATA EXPUNGED], this sphere is referred to as █████ by members of SCP-612, SCP-1024, SCP-1025, SCP-1027, and SCP-1028 alike. As such it seems that it, and by extension SCP-1030, is a key object in SCP-1023.
All four “scepters” are identical in shape and size, unless utilized by a member of SCP-612 and possible SCP-1028. The only difference among them is that SCP-1030a and SCP-1030c are bright white in color, while SCP-1030b and SCP-1030d are deep black. They seem to be in pairs, with the only correlation being the orbs that appear when active.
If contact with one of SCP-612 is achieved and one of SPC-1030 is activated, the offending member of SCP-612 will proceed to [DATA EXPUNGED] and mutate, growing either [DATA EXPUNGED] or [DATA EXPUNGED]. SPC-1030a and SPC-1030b appear to cause the first set of mutations, while SCP-1230c and SCP-1030d cause the second set. It should be noted along with the first set of mutations four orbs surround the crown of SCP-1030a-b just below the orb, whereas twelve orbs surround the crown with SCP-1230c-d.
Addendum 1230-1: As of ██/█/20██, any instances of SCP-1030 are strictly prohibited from coming into contact with a member of SCP-612. All four “scepters” cause nigh undefeatable mutations in SCP-612, and if it occurs with a less diplomatic member of SCP-612, consequences would be grave.
Addendum 1230-2: In light of the events above, it occurs that SCP-1030 should not come into contact with SCP-1028. Due to the SPC’s violent nature, it would possibly cause mass casualties and destroy the secrecy of the SCP foundation itself.

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Hope I didn't fuck up this awesome thread with my writing.

[Graven_Image]

Stop fidgeting. It's fine.

The only thing is, you may want to double space in the future. But other than that, you've got the SCP style down.

[Zombiitwo]

The trick to an SCP is to make it seem formal, uninviting and off limits. If you have that down, you can pretty much write one for anything.

[JudgeDeadd]

SCP-1029-1

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Item #: SCP-1029-1

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Nothing above standard SCP-1029 containment procedures is required.

Description: The specimen designated SCP-1029-1 resembles an adult male human with light brown hair, but with all body below the neck blue and indistinct. SCP-1029-1 has a variable number of arms, anywhere from 0 to 2 at any given moment (though some observers claim to have caught a glance of a third.) All physical characteristics and facial features change chaotically and constantly.

In terms of its psychology, inasmuch as such an entity can be considered to possess a humanlike mind, SCP-1029 is vain, egotistical, and spends most of its time heckling and belittling others, as well as attempting to trick others via ruses and distractions. In terms of its relationships with other SCP-1029 specimens, it is antagonistic towards SCP-1029-2, idolizes 1029-5, considers itself a "new friend" of 1029-3, and its relationship with 1029-4 is unclear.

Addendum 1: SCP-1029-1 photographed with SCP-978. Photo resembles images taken with SCP-1024-24. It depicts SCP-1029-1 and -5, apparently competing in a game of basketball. 1029-1 is captioned as "the star" in the Comic Sans font.

Addendum 2: SCP-1029-1 became aware of SCP-087 from some unknown source. 1029-2 now claims to have issued prior warnings about SCP-087's existence and nature. These claims are unverifiable.

SCP-1029-2

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Item #: SCP-1029-2

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Nothing above standard SCP-1029 containment procedures is required. However, object's cell should be as devoid as possible of obstructions, potentially tripping wires, etc. to prevent 1029-2 from doing damage to itself.

Description: SCP-1029-2 is a standard humanlike specimen of SCP-1029, similar in nature to 1029-1. Object resembles an adult young human male with black hair and notable stubble, and its body is entirely red below the neck.

Psychologically, SCP-1029-2 is meek and submissive, as well as cooperative, though it has a tendency for occasional fits of rage and violence. Observation shows a stable relationship between SCP-1029-1 and -2 which is apparently based solely on abuse, with SCP-1029-1 the dominant individual. SCP-1029-2 appears to have very little manual dexterity and spatial awareness, thus having trouble with simple manual tasks.

Addendum: Experiment proposal by Dr. █████: "Small amounts of narcotics will be added to SCP-1029-2's food each day. Simultaneously, a proposal will be made to it each day to change its daily rations to cherry jelly put on top of a 'hot dog' sandwich, and 1029-2's reaction will be noted. The purpose of the experiment is to test SCP-1029-2's drug tolerance." Proposal rejected by OP-█.
Comment: How high do you even have to be to propose something so retarded?

Also, this totally has to be part of SCP-1025-5's report:

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Addendum: SCP-1025-5 had been observing and evaluating Foundation staff, and seems eager to discuss their relationships. In particular, object has spoken favorably of a potential forming of romantic bonds between Dr. Alto Clef and Dr. Agatha Rights, as well as SCP-105 and SCP-073. Object has also insisted on the existence of what it calls a "m████████████e" between Dr. Gears and Dr. Kondraki.

Addendum 2: The "shipping wall" created by the object will be regularly recorded and its contents published for the enlightement of the staff members involved.

[Graven_Image]

Nepeta.

Has a shipping wall.

Of the SCP Foundation.



Call in the Archon, because THE MERGING IS COMPLETE.

[Zombiitwo]

SCP-087:
I KEEP
FALING DONW
ALL THESE STARES

[KilroyWasHere]

...Cain and... Cain and Iris? The mind boggles.

Also, guys - what's with the overuse of Telekill Alloy? They really don't have all that much of the stuff.

[Varkarrus]

When it comes to Sollux...
It's neccessary.

[Lucinice]

D-class personnel aren't prisoners. They're there like interns. They're just expendable.
Unless you're talking about Droog, then no I don't think anyone has dibbed him.

Uh, no, actually; D-class personnel are generally crimminals on death row who are assigned to the SCP instead of being executed. The expectation is that they WILL die.

Or sometimes SCP agents/doctors/etc who have SERIOUSLY fucked up.

Tvtropes says some D-class may be clones since there are only so many death row inmates in the world.

Also Nepeta's SCP foundation shipping wall, PURE BRILLIANCE.

[lucidSeraph]

Here's something reposted from another thread:

Class D personnel are designated staff used to handle the Keter-level objects. Warning: Class D personnel are not permitted interaction with class D personnel assigned to a different object or SCP personnel. Class D personnel are recruited from prison inmates. Condemned persons are preferred; in times of duress, Protocol 12 can be authorized, allowing recruitment of innocents or persons incarcerated for lesser crimes. All Class D personnel must be terminated at the first of the month, and a new staff must be ready to replace them. After placement in quarters, staff must only contact Class D personnel through intercom system. All personnel involved with Class D will be given a minimum of one (1) polygraph tests at 1800 on a daily basis. Failure to comply will result in termination. Failure to pass test will result in termination. In event of any abnormalities, termination of entire Class D personnel is advised, as well as any SCP personnel that has had basic interaction.

[Katrika]

It's kind of funny how they're supposed to be used to handle the keters but mostly just get used as guinea pigs.

[Zombiitwo]

It's kind of funny how they're supposed to be used to handle the keters but mostly just get used as guinea pigs.

I wonder how many D-class personnel have lost their lives due to bets over how long they'd last against various SCPs.
:V

[Bellstrom]

Also, guys - what's with the overuse of Telekill Alloy? They really don't have all that much of the stuff.

clearly they're making more with the alchimeter

[raequiem]

SCP-1029-1

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Item #: SCP-1029-1

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Nothing above standard SCP-1029 containment procedures is required.

Description: The specimen designated SCP-1029-1 resembles an adult male human with light brown hair, but with all body below the neck blue and indistinct. SCP-1029-1 has a variable number of arms, anywhere from 0 to 2 at any given moment (though some observers claim to have caught a glance of a third.) All physical characteristics and facial features change chaotically and constantly.

In terms of its psychology, inasmuch as such an entity can be considered to possess a humanlike mind, SCP-1029 is vain, egotistical, and spends most of its time heckling and belittling others, as well as attempting to trick others via ruses and distractions. In terms of its relationships with other SCP-1029 specimens, it is antagonistic towards SCP-1029-2, idolizes 1029-5, considers itself a "new friend" of 1029-3, and its relationship with 1029-4 is unclear.

Addendum 1: SCP-1029-1 photographed with SCP-978. Photo resembles images taken with SCP-1024-24. It depicts SCP-1029-1 and -5, apparently competing in a game of basketball. 1029-1 is captioned as "the star" in the Comic Sans font.

Addendum 2: SCP-1029-1 became aware of SCP-087 from some unknown source. 1029-2 now claims to have issued prior warnings about SCP-087's existence and nature. These claims are unverifiable.

SCP-1029-2

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Item #: SCP-1029-2

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Nothing above standard SCP-1029 containment procedures is required. However, object's cell should be as devoid as possible of obstructions, potentially tripping wires, etc. to prevent 1029-2 from doing damage to itself.

Description: SCP-1029-2 is a standard humanlike specimen of SCP-1029, similar in nature to 1029-1. Object resembles an adult young human male with black hair and notable stubble, and its body is entirely red below the neck.

Psychologically, SCP-1029-2 is meek and submissive, as well as cooperative, though it has a tendency for occasional fits of rage and violence. Observation shows a stable relationship between SCP-1029-1 and -2 which is apparently based solely on abuse, with SCP-1029-1 the dominant individual. SCP-1029-2 appears to have very little manual dexterity and spatial awareness, thus having trouble with simple manual tasks.

Addendum: Experiment proposal by Dr. █████: "Small amounts of narcotics will be added to SCP-1029-2's food each day. Simultaneously, a proposal will be made to it each day to change its daily rations to cherry jelly put on top of a 'hot dog' sandwich, and 1029-2's reaction will be noted. The purpose of the experiment is to test SCP-1029-2's drug tolerance." Proposal rejected by OP-█.
Comment: How high do you even have to be to propose something so retarded?

Also, this totally has to be part of SCP-1025-5's report:

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Addendum: SCP-1025-5 had been observing and evaluating Foundation staff, and seems eager to discuss their relationships. In particular, object has spoken favorably of a potential forming of romantic bonds between Dr. Alto Clef and Dr. Agatha Rights, as well as SCP-105 and SCP-073. Object has also insisted on the existence of what it calls a "m████████████e" between Dr. Gears and Dr. Kondraki.

Addendum 2: The "shipping wall" created by the object will be regularly recorded and its contents published for the enlightement of the staff members involved.

This whole post.

Just

YES





Also,

Also, guys - what's with the overuse of Telekill Alloy? They really don't have all that much of the stuff.

clearly they're making more with the alchimeter

Yeah, that'll do.

[Varkarrus]

SCP-1029-3 needs to only talk rarely, but when it does....

[DATA EXPUNGED]

And it's for that reason that it is considered Keter.

[Graven_Image]

A little something in the spirit of today's update.

Item #: SCP-1023-██

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Running Timetables.BAT...
...
...
Article found: 49 d. 22 h. 12 m. from NOW
Retrieve (Y/N)?
Retrieving...

Item #: SCP-1023-██

Object Class: Safe/Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1023-██ will never leave its instance of SCP-1023. No containment is necessary.

Description: SCP-1023-██ is a bed-like altar found occuring once each on every [REDACTED] in SCP-1023. Every participant in SCP-1023 with a functioning duplicate will eventually, without fail, come to sleep on this altar. Regardless of extenuating circumstances, or perhaps because of them, someone from within SCP-1023 will kill the "player" resting on SCP-1023-██, most often pursuing exsanguination with a bladed implement.

This killer can be anyone, from an agent of [REDACTED] to the native fauna around the altar.

The following blood from the corpse invariably runs into the cracks and crevices in SCP-1023-██, causing the victim's duplicate to [DATA EXPUNGED]

Any abilities the player initially had within SCP-1023 are magnified several times over. If a copy of someone from SCP-1023 manages to peform the ritual associated with 1023-██ and make it back to the main timeline without becoming doomed, they are to be immediately classified as Euclid or Euclid/Keter, depending on the person.

Yeah, no crap. I really don't wanna know what would happen if that D-class dude got back after doing the quest bed thing. Can you imagine, lol.

-Dave

I swear, that note appeared right after I wrote the entry! Something fishy's going on with SCP-1024-1c, and I fully intend to find out what.

-Agent ████

[lucidSeraph]

A little something in the spirit of today's update.

Item #: SCP-1023-██

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Running Timetables.BAT...
...
...
Article found: 49 d. 22 h. 12 m. from NOW
Retrieve (Y/N)?
Retrieving...

Item #: SCP-1023-██

Object Class: Safe/Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1023-██ will never leave its instance of SCP-1023. No containment is necessary.

Description: SCP-1023-██ is a bed-like altar found occuring once each on every [REDACTED] in SCP-1023. Every participant in SCP-1023 with a functioning duplicate will eventually, without fail, come to sleep on this altar. Regardless of extenuating circumstances, or perhaps because of them, someone from within SCP-1023 will kill the "player" resting on SCP-1023-██, most often pursuing exsanguination with a bladed implement.

This killer can be anyone, from an agent of [REDACTED] to the native fauna around the altar.

The following blood from the corpse invariably runs into the cracks and crevices in SCP-1023-██, causing the victim's duplicate to [DATA EXPUNGED]

Any abilities the player initially had within SCP-1023 are magnified several times over. If a copy of someone from SCP-1023 manages to peform the ritual associated with 1023-██ and make it back to the main timeline without becoming doomed, they are to be immediately classified as Euclid or Euclid/Keter, depending on the person.

Yeah, no crap. I really don't wanna know what would happen if that D-class dude got back after doing the quest bed thing. Can you imagine, lol.

-Dave

I swear, that note appeared right after I wrote the entry! Something fishy's going on with SCP-1024-1c, and I fully intend to find out what.

-Agent ████

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You idiot, he's using his time-tables to hack the database. It happens. I could do it. - Agent ████ [Copy 29]

See, I just did it again - Agent ████ [Copy 29]

Also fuck if I'm ever doing the bed thing - Agent ████ [Copy 29]

Addendum: Copy 29 was terminated this morning for being caught hacking the database. Investigation into SCP-1024-1c ongoing.

[JudgeDeadd]

SCP-1029-3 needs to only talk rarely, but when it does....

[DATA EXPUNGED]

And it's for that reason that it is considered Keter.

Believe it or not, this is precisely what I had planned for Geromy: class changed from Euclid to Keter after the [DATA EXPUNGED] incident, and containment procedures that rival those of SCP-579.

Though I'm not sure if I feel like writing him up.

[flutterShy]

Seriously, that's why I put down in Dave's report he's not allowed near the goddamn Timetables.

[llamamiah]

I was thinking of doing one, then thought, "Hey, have we decided on a specific number for the weapons of the Kids?" Because I wanted to check to see if there was a specific category for the Hammers, or Needles, or if they just weren't decided yet. If there is or isn't one, I call dibs on the Pogo Hammer.

[raequiem]

I was thinking of doing one, then thought, "Hey, have we decided on a specific number for the weapons of the Kids?" Because I wanted to check to see if there was a specific category for the Hammers, or Needles, or if they just weren't decided yet. If there is or isn't one, I call dibs on the Pogo Hammer.

Anything the kids (or guardians) have captcha'd are just 1024-2something. I put you in the OP with a question mark so you can pick whatever number you want.

[llamamiah]

Item Number: 1024-2a-19

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Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: It is to be kept in an iron chest located in [REDACTED] of the same facility as SCP 1024. SCP 1024-1a is not allowed to know of its location. At least two armed D-Class guards are to be kept on guard of the room at all times. No agents below or at Level 2 are allowed to enter the room, unless given express, handwritten approval from a Level 4 or higher Agent.

Description: A long hammer. It has a white handle with a green grip. The head of the hammer is held on with springs made of ███████. Atop the hammer is a figurine of [REDACTED].

It has been referred to by 1024-1a as the "Pogo Hammer", and is apparently quite powerful. Tests have shown some strange abilities. For full details on abilities, see Test Log A.

Test Log A:

TEST 1: [DATA EXPUNGED]

TEST 2: One (1) D-Class Personnel held SCP 1024-2a-19 by its grip, and swung it at a wooden target. It swung back and [DATA EXPUNGED]. There were XX casualties.

TEST 3: After gaining more information from SCP 1024-1a, another Test was performed. One (1) D-Class Personnel stood in the center of an empty room and slammed the head of SCP 1024-2a-19 into the ground, sending the item bouncing back. The item then [DATA EXPUNGED]. The resulting momentum [DATA EXPUNGED] and XX D-Class Personnel were killed in the resulting destruction.