SFÖRORT: A SBURB RPG

[arianadream]

Hey everyone! I just thought I would share a little bit about the RP I've been involved in for the last month or so, in case anyone was interested. It's being run by Zigkirby, and we have a 9-player session going that bears considerable resemblance to the SBURB of Homestuck, but I'm not convinced that it's exactly the same. There are a lot of unanswered questions and a lot we don't know yet! We do most of our roleplaying through pesterlogs or character commands that the GM responds to, all done on IRC.

I'll let the other players post about their characters if they wish, but here's mine, for a start.



:> _: Enter Name.

Lady Guinevere of the Mists

No. No, her real name, not her SCA name.

:> _: Enter Name.

CYNTHIA KINNEY

That's better. This is CYNTHIA KINNEY. Her chumhandle is azulineDreamery. She lives with both her parents in a small town somewhere in the woods of northern California, in a rather nice suburban home with a castle turret on the third floor, inside which is her bedroom. She is 18 years old and just graduated from high school.

Cynthia is very interested in medieval reenactment/recreation, SCA specifically, and she is particularly interested in costuming and bardic performance. She is also a beginner heavy fighter. Her strife specibus is RATTANKIND - a blunt, rattan sword wrapped in duct tape, which is commonly used in SCA heavy tournaments. Cynthia also enjoys acting, Shakespeare, cooking, and watching Alton Brown (of the cooking show Good Eats). She also likes to read really bad and cheesy romantic fanfiction, but only ironically. Or so she claims.

Some items found in Cynthia's house that she will later be able to use for alchemy: rattan sword, shield, set of kitchen knives, medieval tunic, wimple, circlet, laptop, harp, Alton Brown DVD, spice rack, heavy Shakespeare tome, assorted figurines in Renaissance clothing, unicorn Beanie Baby, etc.

Cynthia uses the IAMBIC PENTAMETER MODUS, which won't give her the item she wants unless she requests it in iambic pentameter.

More info to come later, but I'll let some of my fellow players have a turn to introduce themselves first!

[flutterShy]

:> _: Insert Name

THE LITTLE MERMAID

We're not in a Disney movie, you know.

Oh, okay.

:> _: Insert Name

This is ANNABELLE JOHNSON. She lives in a two bedroom apartment that is in Fort Worth, Texas, that overlooks the nearby Lake Worth. She is eighteen years old, just like all of her friends, and is a recent high school graduate(although no one knows how she pulled that one off.)

Annabelle has a variety of INTERESTS that include bad dystopian-science fiction movies as well as action, adventure, and end of the world movies. Her favorite actor is Leonardo Di Caprio, and she has a penchant for collecting stuffed animals. She is also a huge fan of aquatic life in general, and cryptzoology.

Annabelle's Strife Specibus is saiKindx2. It is unknown how she got started with this actually dangerous weapon.

She uses the standard PICTIONARY MODUS which helps hone her skills to expand her SHIPPING WALL.

Annabelle's pesterchum name is absoluteAnomaly.

Often called the 'baby sister' of the group.

[Solaris]

Wah... What is this.
Why?
WASNT THE DROPBOX ENOUGH FOR YOU?
;-;

:> _: Insert Name
HERP OF DERP

>:U Shuuuut up


So there's this guy, with the chum handle debonairlyPolaris, and his name is Sean Austonomous and he is 18 years old like all of his buddies.
So he likes things in the sky, mainly stars and lives in a cool observatory owned by some benevolent professor on a hill outside the city. He enjoys myth about the universe and it's creation and turtles.
He loooooves turtles.
He has various comics, the most noteworthy being this one called GNUrb. He has a DS and some other consoles, and he loves his trusty laptop, named Scilia.
He joined this game when his gamebro, Dan Kirby, told him to because it would be fun, so he did.

Sean.... is kind of a derp.
As the first to enter, he has some duties... which are to be kind of a fuck up.
Basically, he has the cockyness of Karkat (CG: HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT. CG: I'M AN INCREDIBLE LEADER WITH ALL KINDS OF PRIORITIZATION AND COMMAND SKILLS. ), the naivety of John ( EB: that's stupid. EB: i'm not your leader, i am your FRIEND, there is a BIG difference! TT: Statements like that are also why you're our leader. EB: pff. EB: laaaaaaaame. ) And the... skedness of Sked (You've already done your second prototyping? With what? Another Exoskeleton. I was curious as to what would happen. Source]) As a result, it is up to others to make sure that he doesn't say... blow up his house.

He has telescopeKind, chosen because he looks at stars and stuff. And he has the Constellation Modus, where items refer to stars on a constellation. If he wants to get out an item, it needs to not be connected to more than one other star or he needs to just up and complete the thing.

Post-Medium-Entry-Spoilers:

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The first to enter, his land is the Land of Heat and Canopy. It is hot and it sucks. His consorts are apparently turtles. Like his sprite, the single prototyped, TurtleSprite. He was surprised to find out that the Turtle was not his childhood pet who ran away, Blasty, but the turtle of the professor. He then told him that Blasty ran away from him when he was 13. This was as far as he knew, the absolute worst thing to ever happen to him. He blocked this from his mind until TurtleSprite told him.

[Zuki]

Hey, who's this guy? I mean, he'd really have appreciated it if you'd knocked first seeing as he just rolled out of bed, looking forward to spend a long day doing absolutely nothing on the internet with his best friends, one last hurrah before college starts and he finally gets out TINY HOUSE, the ASS-END OF NOWHERE, RURAL WEST TEXAS. Don't worry if he's a little jumpy. He's always like that with people he doesn't know so well.



:> _: Enter Name.

Petticoats McParanoid

Uh, no. That probably wasn't it.

Let's try...

ROSS EBERHARDT.

Yeah, there we go! That's much more dignified and proper, a name perhaps even befitting A PROPER VICTORIAN-ERA GENTLEMAN, as only would be proper for a STEAMPUNK AFICIONADO such as himself. Indeed, Ross does not merely devour works of fiction related to the subject, but is an avid AMATEUR HISTORIAN and A PRETTY ACCOMPLISHED TAILOR! He designs garb and costumes with a practiced mix of historically appropriate stylings and various APPROPRIATELY ANACHRONISTIC goggles, steam-powered prosthetics, and shining brass gears. He's pretty good at it, selling costumes online to make a little extra cash.

But that is not his only interest!

Ross is also a big CONSPIRACY BUFF. What began as a search for answers after a TRAGIC EVENT in early adolescence, it quickly expanded into a more wide-ranging obsession.

Black helicopters, UFO sightings, knights templar, Masons, Majestic Twelve, the whole nine yards. You name it, he can tell you what they've been responsible for throughout history...and what sinister machinations of pie they have their fingers in to this very day! In keeping with his love of the obscured, esoteric, and conspiratorial, he has a minor interest in CRYPTOGRAPHY and CIPHERS as well.

I guess he also likes playing games with his friends, sometimes. Also, reading stacks and stacks of SHITTY PAPERBACK THRILLERS and MYSTERIES, with the odd SCIENCE-FICTION novel thrown in as well. There is a cardboard box of his beloved favorites stashed under his bed. Speaking of his room, it's KIND OF A MESS. Ross and his MOM have kind of had to keep moving a lot, after the incident FIVE YEARS AGO. They kind of haven't finished unpacking, and there are still unpacked boxes EVERYWHERE. He's got the important stuff out, though. Zeppelin poster on the wall, his sewing and costumes room down the hallway, gears and other mechanical cruft (a mix of car parts and costume fodder) strewn everywhere else.

Ross takes himself PRETTY SERIOUSLY, perhaps unnecessarily concerned with his DIGNITY and PRIDE. He has at times attempted to be secretive about his steampunk and sewing hobbies, an activity that has met with COMPLETE FAILURE on the part of his friends, and more than one occaision of HYSTERICAL HILARITY AT HIS EXPENSE.

Emotionally, he tends to alternate between a sort of vague irritation and grumpiness, and total emotional involvement with whatever is currently occupying his attention. At times ERRATIC and suspected of AN INDETERMINATE MENTAL ILLNESS by some of his friends, he is nonetheless possessed of a keen analytical intellect, and a passionate, loyal heart.

[Gazpacho Soup]

:> _: Enter Name.

Magical Hobo

Close, but no poorly rolled dog ear. Hold on...Yes...

JOSEPH...Just...Joseph...

He is A VAGRANT, A VAGABOND, A HOBO. For FIVE YEARS he has wondered from place to place, jumping from train to train and avoiding the THROWING WEAPON EQUIPPED LAW ENFORCEMENT.. Joseph is an insomniac due to a ridiculous daily COFFEE INTAKE. He is also a bit OBSESSED with COATS. Joseph's modus are the DARK POCKETS. MYSTERIOUS PORTALS INTO AN ELDRITCH DIMENSION BETWEEN TIME AND SPACE. Or just his POCKETS, who knows?

Strife Specibus is CARDKIND.

His chumhandle is archimedesPotager.

[arianadream]

Why, who's this young lady?



:> _: Enter Name.

Spooky Dame

BZZZT. Nope, wrong! Have another go?

LIZA SMITHS

Bingo! This is Liza Smiths. She is 18, like most of her friends. She is played by Tavros Nitram, who does not have an account on the MSPA forums, so she asked me to post it for her!

Liza's INTERESTS include a passion for SEWING and BAD HORROR MOVIES. She should really be EMBARRASSED for liking this AWFUL HOBBY, but for some reason she is not. She likes to draw as well, but she is REALLY BAD AT IT. Her artwork manages to damage the retinas of all who look at it, but she somehow manages to specialize in BAD MODERN ART.

She likes to chat with some of her other human pals, most of which drive her UP THE WALL AND CEILING. She has been using a chat client called PESTERCHUM, and she is ESTATIC ABOUT IT. Her chumhandle is pandemicArisen.

Liza uses the Pipekind - Pipemaze Modus. Some items currently in her sylladex are a bag of marbles, a nail file, her PDA, a handheld mirror, a Yo-yo, an empty bottle, thumbtacks, her string collection, a Bluetooth earpiece, and a pair of broken glasses.

[Von Fawn]

Why, who’s this dignified young lady? You really should have told her in advance that you were coming—her housekeeper isn’t coming in today. Why don’t you wait in the SITTING ROOM of her PENTHOUSE APARTMENT while she fetches you something to drink?



:> _: Enter name.

Batman

No. Try again.

:> _: Enter name.

Batman

You just tried that. Try something else.

:> _: Enter name.

Batman

Oh for fuck’s sake.

Her name is MIRA HAYWOOD. And for the last time, she is NOT BATMAN.

In fact, Mira is interested in MANY THINGS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH BATMAN. One of her great passions is for PERFUMERY, an art form that has fascinated her since her youth. One of her apartment’s spare bedrooms has been converted into a LABORATORY, where her PERFUME DISTILLERY is set up. Her bedroom is filled with many PRICELESS ANTIQUE PERFUME BOTTLES and VINTAGE SCENTS. She dabbles in METALLURGY, specifically JEWELRY-MAKING, and has made many pieces inspired by both the DISTANT AND RECENT PAST. She’s also interested in AMATEUR FORENSICS, which only has A LITTLE TO DO WITH BATMAN. Unfortunately, she’s better at the problem-solving part than she is at the actual forensics—her scientific abilities end at ESSENTIAL OILS.

Mira loves the FINER THINGS IN LIFE, including ANTIQUES and EXPENSIVE CLOTHING. She has a particular fondness for FOREIGN CULTURES, and loves acquiring RARE AND VALUABLE RELICS for her collection. She is a bit of a FOREIGN HISTORY BUFF, but not at the same level as CYNTHIA and ROSS are with their respective periods. She is also trying to learn FRENCH, with some success.

She loves BATMAN, okay? She won’t deny that he’s a FASCINATING SUPERHERO, both psychologically and physically, but she is NOT TRYING TO BE BATMAN. She has a display of BATMAN FIGURINES from various incarnations. The crown jewel of her collection is a GLASS BUST OF CHRISTIAN BALE, which she had commissioned for NOT A SMALL AMOUNT OF MONEY.

But seriously. Just because she has a UTILITY BELT MODUS and uses (baseball) BATKIND, it doesn’t mean that she actually WANTS TO BE BATMAN. Just because she wears a BATMAN PENDANT it doesn’t mean she wants to be BATMAN. That was the LAST PRESENT her DECEASED PARENTS gave her before their TRAGIC PLANE CRASH, which was about FIVE YEARS AGO. The fact that HER PARENTS ARE DEAD does not make her THE HERO THIS CITY NEEDS.

Mira is known for her INTELLIGENCE and STOICISM. She is very composed and helpful, though she can be flustered by CALLING HER BATMAN or IMPLYING THAT SHE HAS A THING FOR A CERTAIN MECHANIC. Just don’t be too alarmed if she SNARKS BACK, because SWEET IS REVENGE, ESPECIALLY TO WOMEN*. Secretly, Mira has been awake on PROSPIT since she was a child and has dreamt about her and her friends’ futures through the SKAIAN CLOUDS. However she has kept it a secret from them since she isn’t quite sure how to explain it herself, nor does she even remember the bulk of what she’s seen—she only remembers the RECURRING VISIONS.

Her chumhandle is delicateDamascene.

*Lord Byron

[Zigkirby]

Who's this douchebag?



:> _: Enter Name.

BROSEIDON, KING OF THE BROCEAN

Hrm. You were totally sure that would work.

:> _: Enter Name.

A CERTAIN MECHANIC

That's... technically correct, but one more time.

:> _: Enter Name.

LEON SOUTHER

Man, what a rad name. Rad like his shades. Rad like his vintage TurboGraphix console he don't even own any games for. Rad like his ChainKind strife abstractus. Most importantly, rad like HIM. He has a variety of HOBBIES and INTERESTS, he enjoys TINKERING and FIXING things when he's not too LAZY to do it, in fact, he has THE PIECES OF A CAR in his BACK YARD that he has spent the last FIVE YEARS NOT ASSEMBLING, but mainly he likes THINGS THAT ARE RAD, NOT UNLIKE HIMSELF.

His pesterchum handle is dystopianAutocrat, because honstly, there's no way you can think of a more rad name ever. He likes to type in all lowercase and without proper punctuation, because honestly, who even needs all those little dots and dashes and shit?

As stated earlier, his STRIFE ABSTRACTUS is set to chainKind, and his Fetch Modus is set to LOTTERY. Needless to say it is incredibly hard to retrieve the items you want, especially that cake that's been sitting in there since he was 13. God dammit.

(character is played by Octopimp)

[Zigkirby]

Who's this nerd?


:> _: Enter Name

DAN KIRBY

WRONG, THA-... wait. You got it right on the first time! Wow.

Your name is DAN KIRBY, and your chumhandle is palebraPaletot, one of these words isn't even real. You DO NOT have a variety of INTERESTS and HOBBIES, in fact, you only like two things in life, VIRTUAL SIMULATION GAMING, and... well... other possible applications for VIRTUAL SIMULATION, you poor lonely soul. Today is your 18th birthday, and like the previous 17 before it, you are a nobody. You're going to change that today, though.

In your travels in EASTERN EUROPEAN HOSTELS you have encountered a SMALL GROUP OF ECCENTRIC PROGRAMMERS WHO WEAR ANIMAL MASKS, GLOVES, AND TURTLENECK SWEATERS. They must be very concerned with sunburns.

Today, August 17th, you will invite your eight friends to play a VIRTUAL SIMULATION with you, one that uses some sort of SCIENCE MAGIC to draw players into another world entirely! It's super neat. You sent out the invitations this morning to your old pals, you havn't played any games together in YEARS! Everyone's been so busy and depressing. It's all bullshit! No one can lighten up! Whatever, doesn't matter. This game is gonna be awesome.

[Zigkirby]

001 DA and DD

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dystopianAutocrat[DA] began pestering delicateDamascene[DD]
DA: sup
DD: Oh gosh. Hi.
DA: oh gosh? did i surprise you?
DD: Maybe?
DD: I'm never really sure what to expect.
DA: yeah, thing have gotten kind of unpredictable lately
DA: have you talked to Dan lately?
DD: Earlier today, yes.
DA: did he talk to you about this game thing?
DD: Yes. You playing?
DA: haven't decided yet, i mean it wouldn't be fair to you guys
DD: Oh, why's that?
DA: well i'd beat it before you guys even left the starting line
DD: Your ego getting in the way again?
DD: Well, that's a yes.
DA: so i'd have to give you a head start anyway
DA: hey, im not being egotistical, im just being honest
DA: we both know its true
DD: Do we?
DA: honesty is the best policy after all
DA: i know it
DA: everyone else knows it
DA: seems like youre the odd one out
DD: Yeah, right.
DA: glad you agree
DD: ...wow, really
DD: Okay, here's the thing?
DA: here it is
DA: its coming
DD: You're the only person who's impressed with yourself.
DA: are you wearing your cape and cowl right now?
DA: i will only take you seriously if you do
DD: what
DD: Wait.
DA: waiting
DD: What are you talking about?
DA: im talking about your obsession with the dork knight
DD: He's not the Dork Knight how dare you
DD: Wait.
DD: I'm not obsessed.
DD: Batman is a perfectly interesting movie, but I don't like it any more than I like any other cinematic work of art.
DA: is this you? http://tinyurl.com/2avlkkd
DA: i think it is
DD: No.
DD: No it's not.
DA: there is no need to be embarrassed
DD: Please.
DA: its cool i wont tell
DD: You talk to PP too much.
DA: maybe
DA: we should talk more, i havent heard from you in a while
DD: I've been around.
DD: What about you?
DA: what are you doing these days? besides putting criminals in arkham?
DD: I asked you first!
DA: oh not much out of the ordinary, still trying to get that car off the cinderblocks
DA: that thing has been in my yard for like 4 years now
DA: but i did order a custom decal for it
DA: its a huge flaming skull with bat, angel, AND butterfly wings
DA: plus its going to shoot blood out of its eyes
DD: ...wow.
DA: all the chicks will want a ride
DA: in my bat/bird/butterfly/bloodmobile
DA: maybe i can race your batmobile someday, if christian lets you drive it
DD: ...
DA: im just saying
DD: You
DA: maybe the glass bust will come to life
DD: You just WISH
DA: like pinnochio
DA: except angrier
DD: You wish you were as cool as Christian Bale
DA: and he will sing newsies for you
DD: Then maybe you will be worthy.
DA: man i dont need to compare myself to christian GAYle
DD: Just stop
DD: stop
DA: because lets just say id seize his day
DA: so dreamy
DA: fine fine
DA: so besides dreaming of john connor what else have you been doing?
DD: I
DD: Perfumery, mainly.
DD: You?
DA: perfumery?
DA: what is your trademark scent? scent of JUSTICE?
DD: I'm sorry, would you like essential oils sprayed into your eyes?
DD: Pick your scent.
DA: not my eyes please
DD: Lavender?
DA: i need those to see
DD: See me, right?
DA: oh wait, do you have pitchoili?
DA: how can i see you? you hide in the shadows
DA: its cool, im just jealous of you fabulous crime fighting skills
DA: maybe you can distract them with your alluring smell
DD: You called it alluring, not me.
DD: I'm just saying.
DD: You're jealous of Batman.
DA: your right, i really am
DA: i wish i could be as cool as batman, will you please teach me how?
DD: You could learn something from him.
DD: Maybe you'd actually get something done with that car.
DD: This may be an appropriate time for an "Oh, snap."'
DA: allow me
DD: But I don't know. You tell me.
DA: o
DA: snap
DA: i done got told
DA: like told house cookies
DA: or a told-blerone
DA: wait i have another good one
DA: the told man and the sea
DA: i am the told man
DD: Wow.
DD: I wonder why I talk to you sometimes.
DA: im agreeing with you!
DA: you served me like a waiter at a fancy restaurant
DA: with one of those huge pepper mills
DA: you know the ones im talking about
DA: because im sure you have a 5 star restaurant built onto wayne manor
DA: ok, enough batman jokes, that was the last one
DD: Thank you.
DD: No, really, why do I talk to you?
DA: youre welcome
DA: because im kind of entertaining?
DA: i make you chuckle
DA: plus i fixed that watch for you one time
DD: You barely make me chuckle.
DD: Barely.
DA: not even a guffaw?
DD: You're as obnoxious as PP is sometimes.
DA: oh
DA: wow
DD: And at least he finds games for us.
DA: yeah games like online uno
DA: super fun
DA: because i beat you guys all the time
DA: BOY WINNING ALL THE TIME SURE IS FUN
DA: not
DD: If you get your ass kicked, I would probably laugh.
DD: *got
DA: see? i DO make you laugh
DA: thats the only reason you keep me around, right?
DA: im like some kind of repairman/jester
DA: a repester
DA: i made a painting for you
DA: i think youll like it
DD: Oh god.
DD: Will I?
DA: yes
DD: I am waiting with bated breath.
DD: For this masterpiece.
DA: oh you better
DA: because this thing will triple in value
DA: when i go
DA: although that will be like adding a single coin to your loot pile
DA: scrooge mcduck
DD: Is this the kind of masterpiece that will cause me to fall to my knees
DD: weeping at the sheer beauty?
DD: ...oh gosh I just thought about that.
DD: Please ignore that
DD: because I wouldn't
DA: i wouldnt mind you on your knees
DA: heyo
DD: UGH
DA: http://tinyurl.com/2cj94x7
DA: bam
DA: commence the kneeling position
DD: No.
DD: Is that a dinosaur?
DA: it is the BEST dinosaur
DD: Why is there a dinosaur?
DD: What do dinosaurs have to do with Batman?
DA: man, what kind of question is that?
DD: Also, your signature continues to suck.
DA: you dont walk into a museum and say "WHY IS THERE A DINOSAUR?!"
DA: dont you know? the worse your signature is, the more famous you become
DD: Depends on the museum.
DA: thats how it works, right?
DD: No.
DA: oh, maybe i got that mixed up
DA: well anyway
DA: enjoy that
DA: i made it just for you
DD: I'm not, don't worry.
DA: awe
DA: your going to make that dinosaur so sad
DD: I can pretty much guarantee that I am the opposite of enjoying that.
DD: I am admittedly flattered by your attempts to sway me with art, but other than that...
DA: sway you?! ha, what are you implying, flintheart glomgold?
DD: ...Flintheart Glomgold?
DD: What
DD: What does that even mean?
DA: he was the bad guy on ducktales!
DD: Never watched it.
DA: too bad, you have a lot in common with the main character
DA: both rich, both get your feathers ruffled over stuff
DD: I'm going to regret this reference
DD: Oh god I am
DA: listen, maybe one day you can take your private plane, which may or may not be in the shape of a bat, and fly here
DA: we can watch ducktales
DD: Better idea: you come to my place.
DA: ok cool
DA: let me just get in my car
DA: oh wait
DA: it doesnt have wheels
DD: Well that's your fault, isn't it.
DD: Looks like you can't see me until you fix your car.
DD: Oh, look at that.
DA: damn, youre right
DA: its fine, can you send launchpad mcquack to pick me up in his sopwith camel
DA: i always wanted to fly in one of those
DD: I don't even know who I'm supposed to be anymore.
DA: or we could just combine your alter egos
DA: you are now darkwing duck
DD: ...
DA: daring duck of mystery
DD: I hate you.
DD: So much.
DA: awe com eon
DD: I will only ever hate you.
DD: Make me not hate you.
DA: will you introduce me to gizomoduck?
DD: I date you.
DD: *dare
DA: oh my
DD: oh wow
DA: freudian slip?
DD: That...
DD: I think this is a good time for me to go.
DD: Essential oils are
DD: Distilling
DD: and such
DA: of course, i have
DA: things
DA: to fix
DA: right
DD: Okay
DD: Goodbye
DA: good
DA: see you
delicateDamascene[DD] ceased pestering dystopianAutocrat[DA]

002 AD and AA

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azulineDreamery[AD] began pestering absoluteAnomaly[AA]
AD: Hey. What's this thing PP's got us doing now?
AD: I assume you've spoken to him about it?
AA: Well, yeah! I mean he said he was bringing the group back together but gosh knows if that means he's actually gotten the torrent yet!
AA: Something about 5kb/s and sacrificing a goat to get it to download something...
AD: Haha, sounds like typical PP!
AD: I admit, I kinda miss the old days.
AD: Even with people snarking at each other all the time. So much drama. Drama drama drama.
AA: I think he nicknamed us the Adramable group at one time - not that I can remember
AA: Gosh, it's been so long! Do you think we'll finally be able to see each other again?
AD: Haha, if he hadn't, I would have.
AD: Maybe! Not sure if I really want to see some of the others...I mean, don't get me wrong, they're fine. But geez, so high maintenance, some of them!
AA: I guess we all are in a way!
AD: Oh hey, how's life been treating you anyway? I don't think we've talked in a few weeks, so I guess I should ask how you've been before I forget.
AA: Ohhhh, pfft, it's okay! I've been out taking pictures, I think the Loch Ness monster lives in my lake!
AA: At least, I think it does, it might just be Dan surfacing to bother me.
AD: Haha, you really believe that? I don't think sea monsters are that interested in the south.
AD: I wouldn't put it past PP to mess with any of us though.
AA: Yeah, of course I do! Wouldn't that be so COOL?!
AD: Just between you and me, I plan to be very wary of him during this game. He's out to mess with us, I know he is.
AD: Admittedly, it would be cool. I just have a hard time believing it. You know how long it took me to admit that it's unlikely Atlantis really existed? Much as I want to believe in it.
AA: Gosh, I would hope he wouldn't do that, considering that he's the one that's bringing us all back together for this!
AA: Awwwwww, but you just have to believe!
AD: I didn't say he meant to do it in a malicious way. He just likes messing with people's heads.
AD: If it makes you feel better, I will reserve a small place in my jaded heart for the childlike innocence of belief you hold so dear.
AA: You'll see, it'll help us, I bet it will! Gosh.
AA: He does, yes he does. Silly Dan.
AD: Given your usual attitudes about such things, I'm a little surprised that you haven't shown any interest in the SCA. I keep telling you, you should check out the local branches. You'd probalby like it.
AA: I'll try! I just forget and get distracted!
AD: I suppose I'll just have to drag you up here sometime and take you to an event along with me.
AD: Provided you can deal with my family.
AA: Can your family deal with me?
AD: Very likely. My mother delights in descending upon guests with a shower of awkwardness-causing hospitality.
AA: I'll just show up with my Loch Ness!
AA: .... plushie!
AA: Yes! I have a big one that sits next to my aquarium in my room! It frightens my fishies at times though, but they are silly.
AD: I approve of this, Anabelle.
AD: Anyway, I will see you later, Anabelle. As soon as PP gets us going on this game, whatever it is.
AD: I'm gonna go work on my job search while it's downloading.
AA: Have fuuuuuun~
azulineDreamery[AD] has ceased pestering absoluteAnomaly[AA]

003 DP and PA

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debonairlyPolaris[DP] began pestering pandemicArisen[PA]
DP: Sooooo
PA: Soo?
DP: This thing...
DP: Do you know anything about it?
PA: Not entirely. I was told it was going to be fun.
PA: to some degree/.
DP: Yeah, if it's anything like GNUrb, it should be
PA: Oh man GNUrb was off the rocks fun.
PA: So, how did you find out about this?
DP: Pee told me
PA: Pee?
PA: Oh right.
PA: Haha.
DP: Oh god
DP: That joke was terrible
PA: Yes, yes it was.
DP: I think...
DP: Let's... let's just pretend it never happened.
PA: Like what never happened?
DP: What?
DP: The terrible joke, that I just said, that I...
DP: oh
PA: And thus we change the conversation.
PA: So, how's it hanging? Doing anything these days?
DP: Nope, just work for this scientist, not really interesting
DP: Moving boxed and stuff
DP: Boxes even
PA: Cool beans.
DP: Not much you can do in an Observatory during the day afterall
PA: Well, other than observe things and people in their natural habitats.
PA: Right?
DP: ....
PA: Or clouds.
PA: Look at the pretty, pretty clouds.
PA: And then blind yourself with the sun when you turn too many degrees to one side.
DP: Yea, like I said, there is not much you can do in an Observatory during the day
PA: okay Maybe I don't know anything about observatories.
DP: Yea
DP: You don't
DP: So
DP: What is up over there in whatertown?
DP: (*whatever)
PA: Not a whole lot. Leaves have changed colors.
PA: Um...Grass became less soft.
PA: There's uh...
PA: okay maybe there's not a lot going on here either.
DP: It seem like it
DP: Perhaps...
PA: perhaps?
DP: Perhaps this means that something extra exciting will come soon.
PA: Maybe.
PA: Well actually...
PA: I would sure love for something super duper exciting to happen
PA: A good old adventure is what we need to get our gears moving, right?
DP: Ah yes, an adventure of epic proportions
PA: Yeah!
DP: To be passed down generation to generation
DP: A tale like NO OTHER
PA: Something so amazing that even we can't totally fathom it!
DP: YEA
DP: Too bad it wont happen
DP: Concivably anyway
PA: Yeah it's not like an adventure will magically turn up some day in our laps. haha
DP: Ha ha, yea... too bad
PA: yeah...
PA: So...
DP: So, we have established that we are doing nothing, and that nothing will continue to happen
PA: Yup.
DP: Enlightening
PA: So from what I gather, PP never gave us a download.
PA: Which kinda stinks.
DP: Nope, he just kinda told me that there would be something like GNUrb, and then ...
PA: You hopped right on board.
PA: Because that's what we do.
PA: Right?
DP: He rudely left before I could respond
PA: Yeah, he took off after I said ok.
DP: Did he seem busy to you?
DP: Like he was in a hurry?
PA: Dunno. Maybe he had to take a PP.
PA: Hahahaha.
PA: Okay yeah that was lame.
DP: I might throw up
PA: Oh like your lame joke was any better.
DP: What lame joke?
DP: There was never a lame joke!
PA: Who are you? Where did you come from? What is this!?
DP: I DONT KNOW
pandemicArisen[PA] ceased pestering debonairlyPolaris[DP]

004 PD and AP

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paranormalDirigible[PD] began pestering archimedesPotager[AP]
PD: Hey, you're online.
AP: I am?
PD: Not so common, that.
AP:Should get off before I fall off the line.
PD: That gonna happen?
PD: Hey, you're online! Find a library that'd let you in?
AP:Yes. But only if I would burn my coats.
PD: Damn shame. Good thing it's august, you've got another chance to pick one up, right?
AP: Could always add another to my collection.
PD: Yeah. Coat bonfire, right there in the middle of the park.
AP: Something in wool, I'm thinking.
PD: Pea coat, parka, or anorak?
AP: What?
AP: Are you insisting I burned my coat?
PD: Wait, you didn't?
AP: This coat is like a son to me...
AP: We've been through so much.
AP: Sorry I...Need a moment.
PD: When you're done, I found that thing I wanted to show you.
PD: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1JIa5r5nkE
PD: It's not like this, right?
PD: He's joking, right?
AP: Yes.
PD: oh thank god.
AP: I don't drink.
PD: Good onya.
AP: Shall I thrill you with my tales of dodging throwing stars and finding the secrets of making pigs feet from talking dogs?
PD: Sure, why not?
AP: As I stood before the Washington Monument.
AP: My beloved can-opener in hand.
AP: As I look up into the stormy skies, I stare into the eyes of my life long enemy.
PD: Class Warfare?
AP: Nixon.
AP: He stole my love from me.
PD: Mmmn. Yes.
AP: And for that that he will pay.
PD: He shall rue the day!
AP: No.
PD: No?
AP: I just threw a shoe at him.
PD: Oh.
AP: He fell off.
PD: Fell off what?
AP: The monument.
PD: Oh.
PD: Damn, quite the fall.
AP: And from his broken body I retreived my love.
AP: My bar of bit-o-honey.
AP: And his coat.
PD: Sweet, Nixon's coat.
AP: I'm not leaving that.
PD: Hell no man.
AP: The things beautiful.
AP: Vintage, too.
AP: Bit of blood on it.
AP: It'll wash out.
DP: decades later?
AP: Just give it a bit of spit and alcohol.
PD: Mmn.
AP: Right as rain.
PD: So. Seriously. Where are you, and is it somewhere I can fax you a sandvitch?
AP: As much as I love pulp paninis. No.
AP: I am at a coffee shop.
PD: Nice, nice. It's got internet kiosks?
AP: No...
PD: Sooo....you've jacked another laptop?
AP: No, the internet decided to try to escape my grasp.
AP: So I cased it down the street and corned it in an alley.
PD: Shitty wireless is a conspiracy.
AP: By that I mean, I'm outside of the Starbocks.
PD: Gotcha.
AP: I wonder if their trash has today's paper...?
PD: Look for a job?
AP: No, want to check if there's a show tonight.
PD: ah.
PD: So....you're gonna try and play that Sims game with us?
PD: the thing Dan sent us all?
AP: Ah, that one.
AP: Never got a description.
PD: It's like, some kind multiplayer building and puzzles thing? Some indie eastern european thing.
AP: Any other detail?
PD: Dunno, lemme look at that readme he sent.
PD: I guess if everyone's online, we could get started?
AP: I believe that is how it works.
AP: You all have to be on the train to leave the station.
AP: Oi, the train is about to leave, you there mate?
PD: Unless you've got a private helicopter and it catches up with train.
PD: Fucking Illuminati.
PD: And your shitty novels.
AP: What novels would these be?
AP: I could use some enlightenment.
PD: Ehh....it's drugs, sex, and rock-and-roll 'enlightenment'. Sci-fi novels from the 70's.
PD: The stuff on Discordianism is pretty good though. Hail Eris, etc.
AP: So it's about chemistry?
PD: It's about secret societies.
AP: What? Like the Cult of the One Eyed Badger Which Clucks Like A Dog?
PD: ......yes.
AP: Ah.
AP: Nice folks.
PD: Maybe. Do they control the stock market?
DP: No...
PD: Probably not so much like them, then.
AP: But they do have large control over the poultry in a small farming community.
AP: and grazing livestock.
PD: Mm. Imagine that, but on a much larger scale?
PD: Throughout history?
AP: I have difficultly imagining a world without eggs.
PD: The analogy may not carry though.
PD: So. Er.
AP: Yes...What would the people of Israel falsely worship in the deserts?
AP: A cactus?
AP: Someones left sandal?
PD: It's all tribal gods.
AP: A tribal god's left sandal then.
PD: Always has been. Always will be. Some of them just get updated and upgraded.
PD: If you can claim a rock that fell from the sky is a tribal god's left sandal?
PD: BAM, Mecca.
PD: Everybody circle round.
AP: ...And it turns out that rock was dropped by a helicopter.
PD: Exactly! Good ol' von Daniken, 'Chariots of the Gods' and all that. Good ideas, terrible follow-up research. Far too easy for The Man to take him down. Just like I always tell you; Cargo cults and conspiracies. People with money and technology and secrets trying to stay in power.
PD: Cargo cults are pretty crazy. You know anything about 'em?
AP: Meet a few once.
AP: nice people.
AP: I mean, when they're not strapping you to a stone table and covering you with goat's blood.
DP: I guess that's one way to make the magic planes full of supplies and american soldiers come back.
AP: What?
AP: No, they were just trying to get the crops to grow.
PD: Oh, that's not a cargo cult then.
PD: these are the ones where people reconstruct airstrips.
PD: on pacific south seas islands.
PD: To make the planes come back.
AP: I believe I stumbled onto one of those once.
PD: Happens anywhere you get a more 'primitive' people that interacted with high-tech people who are now gone. Imitate what the white rich dudes did as best you can and hope all the magic shiny comes back.
PD: The places you've been, I could buy it.
AP: They started worshipping me as an idol since I looked and smelled like a supply crate that's been in a airship for three months.
PD: Haha, and then?
AP: I promised them I teach them the secret of harnessing the skies to reap its bounty of food.
PD: Very nice.
AP: I brought them out into a wide clearing.
AP: Made the village stand well back.
AP: Turned away.
AP: And ran until my bloody legs fell off.
PD: Nice to be in civilzation, then. Fewer cultists?
AP: Depends on the cult.
PD: True. Like Scientology
AP: And pop rock.
PD: Ah.
PD: Yes.
AP: Ever been to a Justin Bieber concert?
PD: I am shuddering and recoiling at the very thought.
AP: I am sad to say that I have only been to one.
AP: Though I dare say my aim of projectile footwear has improved ten-hold.

palebraPaletot[PP] began pestering archimedesPotager[AP] and paranormalDirigible[PD]

PP: Hey, I'm starting up a memo. Get in here.
palebraPaletot[PP] sent a memo invitation to archimedesPotager[AP] and paranormalDirigible[PD]
palebraPaletot[PP] ceased pestering archimedesPotager[AP] and paranormalDirigible[PD]

PD: Good to know. Let's see what Dan wants.
AP: Agreed.

005 Memo 01

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palebraPaletot[PP] invited AA, AD, AP, DA, DD, DP, PA, PD to memo: TEAM PAD-LOCK
PA: What the?
PA: What is this magical device you invited us to?
PP: ... wut
AP: Why, I daresay it's a memo!
PA: Hrm...I don't recall reading this memo.
PA: Oh well. Just as well. What's up?
PP: OK, no, I see most of you have the files downloaded, so you need to figure out what order you're going to join the game. It works off of a client/server system, each player is going to be a client and a server, and I've been told it's imperitive it has to be done in a clean circle.
AA: Oh geeze, great
PP: So which one of you monkeys wants to get thrown in first ;3
PA: Why would you throw a monkey?
PA: that's just cruel.
PD: Groupchat, excellent.
PD: Why not a monkey?
PP: So DA's going first? Heheheh
AA: Maybe a Loch Ness monster?
AP: There are tims when tossing a monkey is acceptable.
AP: Like when it's attempting to remove your face.
PD: So which one of us is the biggest monkey?
PA: I think the biggest monkey is Dan. >:)
AD: All right, I sent in a stupid job application to some lame retail thing. Now what's the plan here?
AP: No.
AP: we obviously need to create a measuring system to figure out who is the most gargantuan primate.
PA: well...This shall be interesting. :3
PP: OK. I got it.
AD: Wait, what does this game have to do with primates? Please tell me it does not involve furries.
AP: Hold on, the calculation machine I made from some cans, a 2 by 4, and a half finish cup of coffee is outputting data.
AP: Survey says.
PP: DP is obviously the biggest monkey.
AP: Sean!
AP: Come on down!
DD: What is going on?
DD: What do monkeys have to do with it?
AP: Everything.
PD: It's analogy.
PD: The most derpily enthusiastic of us is the monkey.
PP: We're deciding who gets to be sacrificed first to this game, since we'd all be going in blind.
AP: You see, long ago primates ruled the earth.
DD: Oh god
PA: GET WITH IT MAN
PD: And gets to be the first player.
AA: Oh great.
DP: No
DP: They never did
DP: Really
DP: Stop being so foolish
PA: Oh jeeze...FINE. I'll go! I'll be your stupid monkey!
PD: Huzzah!
PP: But you SUCK at games :I
PA: HUSH.
AD: Why does the order even matter? Somebody just start already. I'd like to start playing ASAP so I can figure out if this game is going to be worth my time or not!
PP: As much as it pains me to say it, I think DP is the best player here.
DP: I DO NOT SUCK
AD: By a certain metric, perhaps.
PP: I said PA sucks.
DD: I agree with Dan
DP: I AM AWESOME
AP: We need to send in the player with the most foresight.
DD: ...there's a first time for everything
AP: Sean.
PD: First soap, ashes of heroe., first monkey shot into space. Without sacrifice--
AA: Oh my...
DP: I WILL GO
PD: Wait, I'm fucking that Fight Club reference up.
PA: Bah. GO ALREADY. I want to watch you flail about. :3
DP: AND YOU WILL ALL BE JEALOUS
PP: K, Sked goes first.
PP: who wants second?
DP: Wait what?
DP: Sked?
PD: I'll do it.
DP: Who's sked?
DD: Not that again
PD: Man it's this comic about bugs.
AD: Oh, okay. One of your silly sci-fi things, right?
PD: Didn't I mail you the first volume last year for christmas, Sean?
DD: I never understood that comic
PA: Ugh. Just get in there and show us how it is! Test the waters!
PD: It's a great coming-of-age story, Mira.
PD: Not htat complex.
DD: Eh.
DP: Hmm
DP: Okay, sounds neat
AD: Whatever you say. Sounds kind of dumb to me!
DD: I agree.
PP: Who wants third?
PD: More importantly, who do I want watching my back?
PP: Yeah, that IS a good question.
DD: Who do you trust?
AP: Come on now, third is only available for a limited time!
PP: That is a good question, DD.
AD: I'll do it.
AD: It will give me more opportunities to harass him about his silly interests.
PD: Fuck you.
AD: :D
PP: And fourth?
AP: Me.
PP: I got dibs on last, fuck you all.
PD: Gods damn this all to hell.
AP: Nice and neat.
AP: It will give me time to listen to your ramblings.
PP: Fifth?
PA: Me~ :3
PD: Why you going last, PP? You were awful short-hairs-in-a-twist to get this game going, and you're in last?
DD: He just wants to feel special.
PP: Because I'm the leader and I said so.
DD: Don't mind him.
PD: Leader? Riiiiight.
PP: Sixth?
DD: I'll go.
PD: Just because you got us all excited and 'making this hapn', doesn't mean you'll actually be in charge once it gets rolling.
AA: Wait, crap
AA: That makes me last, doesn't it
AP: Oh bloody Hell.
DD: Wait, why do you say that?
PP: Obviously, because DD and DA are attached at the crotched. :I
PD: How you gonna know what to do, if you ain't in the game yet?
DD: You can connect to me at the wait what
DD: What.
PD: hey. Hey.
DD: Who says he's my server player.
PP: And I'm last, you're right before me, AA.
DD: He's not even here.
PD: Save your connecting at the crotch for private chats.
AA: Oh /great/.
AP: To Hell with it!
DD: No
DD: I didn't sign up for this
PD: Crochet some pot holders.
PA: yes you did.
DP: God I hate these fucking jokes
DD: Ross can I switch with you
PP: That's everyone! Converse with yourselves, the order is saying the same.
DD: NO
PD: No way I like going second.
PA: Yesssss~
AA: Oh well
DP: Really, I am not so sure I want this anymore
DD: But
PP: The order again is: DP, PD, AD, AP, PA, DD, DA, AA, PP
DD: Sean you should go first.
DD: Trust me? It'll be better this way.
AA: Man, and my server player isn't even here
AD: Eh, let's just do this! It's not like order's going to matter for anything, right? Screw it, I don't even get how this game works yet.
DD: Your client, you mean, Anabelle
AD: It's like some sims thing, right?
PD: So, I gotta get this server pack installed, right?
DD: He's my server.
DD: oh god
AA: I can barely keep track of everything! Geeze.
DP: I don't know, it's something like GNUrb, which had some wacky things
AD: Oh, huh. Never played that one.
PP: DP, if it's any condolence, you get to be my server.
DP: Excuse me
PP: If that means anything to you.
DP: It's a comic
DD: At least Leon and Dan aren't connected
AP: Ahem.
DD: Dear God we would all die.
AP: If I may stop this drama train before it leaves the station.
* palebraPaletot leaves the memo
DP: God damn it
AA: Shit, we're screwed.
DP: I had a witty retort, I swear
AP: I propose to switch with Leon, save some bloody time bitching...
DD: I suggest switching with someone so that Leon isn't going through my stuff
PD: Just keep track of who's in front and back of you.
AP: No..It seems like we are full speed ahead.
PD: Sean, get your client installed. I'm getting the server up.
DP: Yeah, sure why not.
DP: Getting this thing installed or whatever
AP: I will wait.
PD: Niiiice. Music on the loading screen!
AA: Geeze, now neither my server nor my client are here!
AA: Fuck.
DP: Nahh
DP: Let's just keep talkign like this
AA: Yeah.
DP: For the entire course of the game
DP: I mean, it can't take that long
AA: Don't say that, we'll jinx ourselves.