TROLL!COPS: The AU

[flutterShy]

*unlurks*

*drops this off*

*catburglers off into the night*

In Which Things Get Even More Complicated

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Feferi Peixes led a fairly normal life. Being a purpe-blooded troll, she had, well, neeless to say, a fairly simple life, having been brought up with her lusus, Gl'Bgolyb in the neaby sea in the warm city. Although a sea-dweller, she supported a residence outside of the water as well, as she was fairly friendly with everyone, and often ---EXCIT------ED! to meet new friends.

However, she was often lonely, due to her blood colorand her over-protective lusii. She didn't get out to go do anything FUN or ----EXCITING! Even though the cops of Alternia kepts the city well-potected, with the recent re-coming of Mr. Pupa and his team, she was even more restricted than ever to the small home.

However, that was during the day.

During the night, she became the cuttlefishCuller, or as certain police called her, the Culler. While she normally wouldn't stand out against the Catburgaler, or any of the others, what made her unique, was for being The Night, she was more than just a hinderance; she was also, oddly enough, thanks to her glubbly personality, a friend.

Of course, when Sollux has her in handcuffs, things get unusal...

[lakobie]

Huh
I was thinking about the felt's weird time powers and stuff, and im having problem working in the more complex ones without having to explain weird paradox time stuff, i think im gonna alter some of their powers a tiny bit. But we'll get to that later

(Insert feferi quirk into this)
Late Night Fight

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CC: EEEEE IM SO GLUBBING EXCITED
TG: oh will you be quiet
TG: were supposed to be going in all stealth like
CC: Oops
TG: okay
TG: why are you here with me again
CC: i dunno, cause rose told me too?
TT: Dave give her the pin I gave you earlier and tell her to snap it to her ear
TG: hey merdope, rose says you should put this in your ear
CC: oooo okay.. OW that hurt....
TT: Can you both hear me
CC: OH! Oh yes I can hear you Rosey! the piranha communicator is working swimmingly!
TG: ...
TT: huh?
CC: Oh it was a pun! cause it snapped on like a piranha? GET IT?!! HE HE EH
TG: shut up
TG: rose why is she here
TT: I told you earlier Dave, shes not a bad guy.... just
TT: Really confused.
CC: Weelllll sorrrrrrrrry my plan to woo Mr. Captor wasn't amazing in your lenses!
CC: I thought it was fantastic and EXCITING!!!!!!
TG: it was retarded and moronic
TG: like you
CC: Glub.
TT: Look I need you both to work together here.
TT: Today we are confronting two felt officers so I want you on your toes, these are the ones with weird time powers.
CC: Roger that! And im sorry about before I was just floundering for some attention i guess, and I couldn't salmon the courage to walk up to Sollux the old fashion way cause it was boring.
TG: okay
TG: if i hear one more fucking terrible fish pun
TG: im going to do an acrobatic fucking pirouette off this pavement
TG: and turn you into fucking sushi
CC: Oooooh i could go for some sushi now
CC: Or fried squid! or fried squid in a sushi roll! mmmmmhhh squiiiiidddd
TG: you like squid
CC: well YEAHHH Squid and Octopus are my FAVORITE seafood HEEHEHE
CC: You could say im... into tentacles
TG: hey rose
TG: no wonder you two get along you have the same freaky fetish
TT: Hey Dave,
TT: Fuck You.
TG: nah your not my type
CC: I wonder if any sushi restaurants are open this late..
TT: Oh will both of you just focus for one moment?

Will continue this later

[lakobie]

Before I backtrack all over this thread, I'm probably gonna need titles for your chatlogs, Lakobie. Easier for the linkin'

uhhhh ill edit them in, and i put one for my latest chatlog

EDIT: im putting a bold title above them, dont include the "dave bios" thing because im really gonna retcon that hard AND YES I CAN RETCON MY OWN HEADCANON

[flutterShy]

Lakobie are we on the same brain cell or something because that all fits my headcanon for Fef perfectly.

[cyclicCircumferentia]

Bandit Trio Icons~!





Forum Sized:
http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/4452/gamconsmall.png
http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/329/karconsmall.png
http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/9683/nepconsmall.png

[Katrika]

Dx

Pie

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The fearless catburglar Nepeta eyed her target. The pie was cooling on the windowsill, and the delicious smell of pumpkin pie was too much to take. Glancing once from side to side, she swiped her hand at the pie and ran off, juggling the hot pastry in her hands. Gamzee loved pie! He’d be so happy! Scrambling through the network of alleyways, she was almost back ‘home’ when she ran right into a young man with square glasses and unruly black hair. The pie went flying and landed facedown on the sidewalk.

“x(( < oh noooooo”

Kneeling on the ground, she tried to scoop as many intact chunks she could find into the pie tin. They were covered in dirt, but she didn’t mind. She’d eaten worse. Before she could take off again, however, the boy grabbed the pie tin and dumped in a nearby garbage can.

“>:(( < hey! that was purrfectly good food!”

“look, i’ll buy you another to make up for running into you, okay?”

Nepeta hesitated. On one paw, the boy seemed really nice, and she was really hungry! Karkitty was sick, and he couldn’t go out and get food. On the other paw, she knew what Karkitty would say about taking charity from strangers. Even worse, what if this guy wasn’t really nice, but one of those mean people Karkitty was always telling her to stay away from?

“x(( < uuuum…i’m not supposed to take food from strangers unless it’s, um, a surpurrise.”

“you look really hungry. i just want to make up for my clumsiness. do you like seafood? who told you not to accept food from stangers? has someone been hurting you or starving you? i know someone who can help you if-hey!”

Nepeta dashed around the boy and peered in the garbage can. Seeing that the pietin had landed face up and was mostly still full, she grabbed in and ran off.

They were going to eat well tonight.

[lakobie]

huuuuuugggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh thats fantastic kat

[Deeum]

OP updated once again.
Remember, folks. Feel free to hit me with something if I forgot stuff.

I'll add cC's avatars to another post once most of them are done. :0

[Katrika]

Awwww, it's just a lil thing. No big.

[crepuscularDissembler]

Look ma, I wrote fanfiction!


aDORABLOODTHIRSTY

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A small figure sits in a high-backed wheelchair, his body turned towards the roaring fireplace that is the only light source in the opulent study. He wears a tophat and monocle, affectations that one might call ridiculous or even pathetic, but not to his face. Never to his face.
Footsteps come down the adjoining corridor, somehow managing to stamp despite the rich carpet covering the floor. The ornate and heavy door at the far end of the room swings open suddenly.
AT: aH, mR.VANTAS, hOW GOOD OF YOU TO, jOIN US,
CG: STILL DOING THAT WHOLE "I KNOW WHO IT IS WITHOUT TURNING THE CHAIR AROUND THING" AND USING THE ROYAL WE, HUH? GREAT. GOOD TO KNOW YOU'RE AS COMMITED TO BEING A CLICHE VILLAIN AS ALWAYS.
AT: gOOD TO SEE THAT, eVEN THE THREAT OF, uH, dEATH, oR MAYBE, sEVERE INJURY, cANNOT DISSUADE YOUR SHARP TONGUE,
AT: wON'T YOU TAKE A SEAT?
CG: I REALLY PREFER TO STAND. IT'S NICE, TO BE ABLE TO STAND.
AT: oH MY, yOU ARE IN QUITE A BAD MOOD,
AT: aND HERE I HAD THOUGHT YOUR LAST HEIST WENT QUITE WELL,
CG: IF YOU CALL HAVING TO BLUDGEON SEVERAL SECURITY GUARDS INTO UNCONSCIOUSNESS BECAUSE SOMEONE WAS TOO BUSY STUDYING THE AFFECTS OF VARIOUS CHEMICALS ON HIS NERVOUS SYSTEM TO KEEP A PROPER LOOKOUT, THEN SURE.
AT: hAHA, yES, yOU BOTH HAVE YOUR WEAKNESSES,
AT: hONESTLY, i CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU MANAGED TO STAY RELATIVELY HIDDEN FOR SO LONG,
AT: wITH THAT TEMPER OF YOURS,
CG: FUCK YOU. I'M SURE YOU KNEW PERFECTLY WELL WHAT I WAS LIKE WHEN YOU HIRED ME.
AT: oH, i'M NOT MAD,
AT: bELIEVE ME, yOU'D KNOW IF I WAS MAD,
AT: iN FACT, i QUITE ENJOY WATCHING YOUR LITTLE OUTBURSTS,
CG: WOW. EVERY TIME I THINK YOU JUST CAN'T GET CREEPIER.
CG: AND EVERY TIME YOU REACH INTO SOME HIDDEN DEPTH AND PULL OUT A NEW MONSTROSITY.
CG: IT'S LIKE ONE OF GAMZEE'S MIRACLES, IF THOSE WERE ACTUALLY REAL AND NOT THE PRODUCT OF A SEVERELY DAMAGED NERVOUS SYSTEM.
CG: ANYWAYS, YOU CALLED ME ALL THE WAY HERE TO TELL ME ALL ABOUT HOW MY WAY OF FIXING PROBLEMS GIVES YOU A RAGING BONE BULGE?
AT: i AM GOING TO IGNORE THAT LAST BIT, bECAUSE A GREAT SUPERVILLAIN LIKE ME, dOES NOT GET DISTRACTED BY WEAK DIRTY JOKES,
AT: aNYWAYS, yES, iT IS QUITE A GOOD WAY OF FIXING PROBLEMS, iSN'T IT,
AT: tHEY SAY THAT VIOLENCE ISN'T THE ANSWER, bUT WE KNOW BETTER, dON'T WE,
CG: THERE YOU GO AGAIN, IRRESPONSIBLY USING VAGUE PRONOUNS.
AT: oH, yOU ARE GOING TO PRETEND YOU DON'T KNOW, wHERE I AM GOING WITH THIS,
AT: vERY WELL,
AT: yOU PRETEND AS IF YOUR LITTLE ALTERCATIONS,
AT: aLL THE PEOPLE YOU VERY NEARLY, uMM, vIOLENTLY SLAUGHTER,
AT: aRE MERELY THE RESULT OF CIRCUMSTANCE,
AT: i, kNOW BETTER,
AT: wOULD YOU REALLY LEAVE MR. MAKARA ON WATCH, nEVER SUSPECTING THAT HE MIGHT FAIL IN HIS DUTIES,
AT: lET'S BE HONEST, yOU WANT THINGS TO GO WRONG,
CG: WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT THAT.
AT: rEVENGE,
AT: aT LEAST, tHAT'S WHAT YOU TELL YOURSELF IT IS,
AT: iT'S CONSIDERED, a PRETTY GOOD, aND, uH, pURE REASON,
AT: bUT I DON'T THINK YOU NEED THOSE THINGS,
AT: rEASONS,
AT: iF YOU DIDN'T HAVE YOUR, uMM, rIDICULOUSLY TERRIBLE PAST, yOU WOULD JUST FIND SOME OTHER RATIONALIZATION,
AT: tO, uH, sLICE UP THE WEALTHIER CITIZENS BEYOND ALL RECOGNITION,
AT: aND GENERALLY TRAIPSE AROUND, bEING ALL, aDORABLOODTHIRSTY,
CG: THAT IS LITERALLY THE DUMBEST BULLSHIT I HAVE EVER HEARD.
CG: AND I AM BASICALLY A DUMB BULLSHIT CONNOISSEUR.
CG: SORRY! DESPITE YOUR LITTLE SPEECH, WHICH I WOULD BET MONEY YOU SPENT HOURS PREPARING, I AM NOT GOING TO JOIN YOUR INSANE SOCIOPATH CLUB.
CG: I WILL WORK FOR YOU, I WILL STEAL FOR YOU, I WILL KILL FOR YOU.
CG: BUT I AM NOT GOING TO INDULGE YOUR FANTASIES ABOUT EVERYONE BEING AS TWISTED UP INSIDE AS YOU ARE.
CG: NOW CAN I GO, OR AM I GOING TO HAVE TO LISTEN TO MORE DIRECT PARAPHRASING FROM "PSYCHOANALYSIS FOR IRREDEEMABLE IDIOTS"?
AT: yES, i HAVE ALL I WANT FROM YOU,
AT: fOR NOW,

Footsteps recede out of the study down the hallway, a little more quieted, and just slow enough to not seem so much like running away.

This is my first time writing fanfiction ever, and my first time writing non-fiction in a long while, so any input is appreciated, especially for characterization.

[Katrika]

I liked it!

Then again, I'm partial to the Bandit Gang. I think you captured Mr. Pupa perfectly.

[crepuscularDissembler]

Thanks!
Mr.Pupa is pretty easy for me to write. I just have to tap into my inner incredibly cliche speech-making villain. (Everyone has one of those, right?)

[lexavian]

CC, are you going to make an avatar picture for all the main characters? If so, then is it all right if I call cop terezi?
Edit:
CD, I absolutely LOVE aDORABLOODTHIRSTY!
You reaaly had a good mix between tavros and cliche supervillain in there. I love how he states how he's going to ingore that comment. XD CLASSIC!

[Katrika]

CD: Oh yes. Mine's a mad scientist who wants to take over hawaii.

E: 413 POSTS WHOOOO!

Now I can never post again. Just made edits to this post.

[flutterShy]

Psst. Deeum. You have the TMNT fanart under my name in the fanfic part rather than my actual fanfic.

[Deeum]

Psst. Deeum. You have the TMNT fanart under my name in the fanfic part rather than my actual fanfic.

FFFFFFFF
Fixing now.

Edit: Should be fixed now. Sorry 'bout that!

[lakobie]

so heres another thing i was thinking
Midnight shenanigans

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The MC Loiter of the mangled body of Eggs
SS: Fucking Eggs. Fucking pain in the ass. Glad hes dead.
CD : Oh that was great boss, really awesome boss, you were so cool boss! How'd ya do it boss?
SS: Took crowbar's crowbar and beat the shit outta that egg timer
SS: for some reason egg's power cant be fully put inside him so he had the egg timer but thats all moot point since hes dead
CD : woooooooww boss how'd you get old crow's bar? you sneak up on him and take it? ambush? some really cool showdown between you and him that goes down to the wire then WHAMO you take him down!?
SS: I stabbed him in the fucking face while he wasnt looking
CD : wooooow thats so awesome boss! Just like you boss! your fantastic boss! thats why your the boss boss! i mean...
SS: Clubs
CD : yeah boss?
SS: Shaddup.
CD : oh.... right boss, shutting up now boss...
DD : Sos uhh Slick yous hears about some of the other felts?
SS: Whatcha talkin bout Droog?
DD : I means that we aints the only ones knockin off green heads.
DD : Crowbro and some fishy broad named "The Culler" took out Itchy
DD : Whiles Pupas boys took down Quatahs and Matchsticks
SS: Really? Pupa's lackies did that?
DD : Yeahs and I been meaning to ask ya, whats your deal with that Karkat kid?
SS: What you getting at droog?
DD : I means hows does you know him Slick?
SS: Met him on the streets
DD : Slick if you met him on the streets and he aint dead yet somethings up
SS: Hey Droog you hear what curiosity does to cats?
DD : Sorrys boss
SS: If you really have to know then I'll tell you: For the same reason that Strider punk catches your attention
DD : Ahhhs you think he'd be a good addition to the crew?
SS: Yeah, I see a bit of myself in him too, he wont admit it and he has some other problems, two to be exact, but it should be good if I can get rid of them.
SS: But that aint the focus right now, Felt and Pupa been pushin territory and we got bigger things to worry about.
DD : Rights Slick, sorrys for brigin it up.

and yeah if i would do typing quirks, DD does Italics, SS does all bold, HB is underlined and CD is all 3

Also there should be someway to disable simlies in a post

[Thatoneguy]

Just an idea: Since the felt seem to be infinitely easier to kill than the Midnight Crew, I figured it might even the odds if, in addition to their normal time BS powers, they have a tendency to not stay dead. I would imagine that death is still a major inconvenience, like taking them out of action of a couple weeks, but eventually they return acting like nothing bad had ever happened to em.

[Katrika]

There is! Go Advanced and scroll to the bottom and you check the box.

[DJ-P0N3]

Actually, to be quite honest, in this Universe I thought the Felt might be disbanded, and each have taken different jobs.
Perhaps some are homeless, who knows.
It just is what came to mind in this AU.

[lexavian]

Actually, to be quite honest, in this Universe I thought the Felt might be disbanded, and each have taken different jobs.
Perhaps some are homeless, who knows.
It just is what came to mind in this AU.

I much prefer this. Eggs could work in a dairy. Biscuits in a patiserry (major spelling errors, I know). Stitches at a bridal shop.
EDITED FOR GRET JUSTICE!

[lakobie]

Just an idea: Since the felt seem to be infinitely easier to kill than the Midnight Crew, I figured it might even the odds if, in addition to their normal time BS powers, they have a tendency to not stay dead. I would imagine that death is still a major inconvenience, like taking them out of action of a couple weeks, but eventually they return acting like nothing bad had ever happened to em.

I thought of this too, but thats kinda what Stitch does
In my head canon stitch can repair almost any wound, and in this AU even bring them back given the wound can be "repaired" and they haven't been dead for too long. His powers work within a mile radius so he still has to be in the area. The only death he cant fix are if the body takes no damage and dies (strangulation of some kind) or if it takes so much damage the effgie (or whatever it was called in comic) falls apart (like what happened to eggs here)

[Thatoneguy]

I dunno, it just seems like they're not much of a threat if there's so few of them and they get killed left and right.

[DJ-P0N3]

Actually, to be quite honest, in this Universe I thought the Felt might be disbanded, and each have taken different jobs.
Perhaps some are homeless, who knows.
It just is what came to mind in this AU.

I much prefer this. Eggs could work in a dairy. Biscuits in a bakery. Stitches in a clothing line.

Let's see, Itchy could be an olympic runner
Doze is homeless
Trace and Fin are some sort of Duo.
Clover uses his luck to cheat the lottery.
Die runs a doll shop.
Crowbar runs his own small business.
Snowman, honestly, this is not me being perverse or obscene, but I see her being a sort of call girl.
Is that just me?
Sawbuck is homeless.
Matchsticks is dead.
Quarter is dead.
Cans is a homeless man, who is also occasionally hired muscle for Tavros(Mr.Pupa or THE PUPA)


How does this sound?

[Katrika]

That works.