TROLL!COPS: The AU

[lakobie]

I dunno, it just seems like they're not much of a threat if there's so few of them and they get killed left and right.

The gangs arent just the 12-4 members, they have a lot of useless underlings and nameless canon fodder under them.
The main members are the hardest to take down, Eggs took all 4 members to bring down one on one, Itchy took 2, and I have no idea what matchsticks or quarters would do so i just killed them off as a running gag

You forget members like Clover, Cans, and of course Snowman are the hardest to kill, Stitch is rarely seen, And fin and trace work as a duo for ambushes.

[Thatoneguy]

Eh works for me.

[Katrika]

...someone give me an idea for two characters to do another story with.

[Domoz]

Do something with pathetic detective Eridan, because he is always hilarious.

[DJ-P0N3]

Crowboy and The Strider Mafia

[Thatoneguy]

...someone give me an idea for two characters to do another story with.

Eridan needs some love. Maybe Eridan vs Clover.

[Katrika]

Eeeeh...

Eridan, yes.

But for the second person...

[amnesiaDinosaur]

Eridan Detectivving The Strider Mafia?

[Katrika]

Close!

Eridan and Crowboy.

'stop right there, criminal scum'

'...no. Just NO.'

[amnesiaDinosaur]

yessssssssssss

[DJ-P0N3]

Okay, so I made this as a jump on The Felt being in this AU.
Hope you guys enjoy

Snowman's Diary

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Dear diary,

I was walking down the street today, minding my own business when off work hours. I saw an old friend hanging on the streets. He was drunk off his gourd and cursing at
passer-bys. My word he was a sight for sore eyes. I hustled up to him and patted his torn garments, helping him up. I even wrote down our conversation.

I says, “Dear lord Cans, what happened to you?”

He just scoffed at me, “Snowman, shouldn’t you be working the street corner. Can you really say you’re better off than me?”

I was insulted, I almost felt blistering mad! If I weren’t so well-kept and easy going I might’ve snapped, “Cans, that is not my line of business. I merely allow men to partake of a little peep show, provided they give me the appropriate payment.” I smiled slyly,

“I don’t let them go that far sweetie, not unless I’m interested, and not once have these hooligans ever caught me in such a mood.”

Well Cans just shot right up and was ready to tear out my eyeballs and give me the most heinous little lesson I was ever taught, but he calmed down mighty quick and apologize.

He says, “Sorry Snowman, I just can’t find any work…I’m too big to fit in anywhere, I’m too big to hire.”

Now I wasn’t one to let my old friend down. I brought him on down to the swanky club

I worked at and told him to wait outside, My boss, Mr.Noir, was not a friendly man. He did not wish to hire Cans. Weren’t too surprised was I, but I had back-up plans. I snuck Cans right over to this mansion on the edge of town, fella by the name of Pupa lives there.

The city don’t know it, but he’s a mighty fine criminal mastermind, and I was sure he’d be interested in hiring Cans. I left him at the door, rang the bell, and ran. Haven’t seen Cans in a few days, but I got a letter from Mr.Noir with Cans’ sloppy handwriting.

I hope I helped him out Diary,

I really do.
XOXO
Snowman~

[Katrika]

He has a teddy bear named Watson that he talks to about cases.

'Wwhy yes, Wwatson, I am fuckin brilliant and devvilishly handsome to boot.'

[lakobie]

He has a teddy bear named Watson that he talks to about cases.

'Wwhy yes, Wwatson, I am fuckin brilliant and devvilishly handsome to boot.'

this forever

[Katrika]

Someone draw it?

[Katrika]

Sorry for the doublepost!

Give and Take

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Eridan Ampora was having a good day. He’d just taken down the Pupa Gang, detectived the indenty of Mr. Pupa himself, and dissolved the Strider Mafia with his mad detectiving skills. He also scored a date with the incredably sexy Miss Feferi Peixes, and right at that moment she was leaning in to kiss him after he saved her from a murderer intent on framing her.

Closer…closer…closer-

He was woken up by the distinctive feeling of his teddy bear, Watson, smacking his nose. He sat up, instantly alert, and reached for his gun as-

“Finally. I had to toss that ugly-ass thing at you, like, 5 times.”

“Shut your fuckin pie hole, Crowboy. He’s not ugly, he’s VVINTAGE.”

The shadowy figure by his window held up something that gleamed dully in the dim light.

“Looking for this?”

Curses! The vile criminal had managed to outthink the most brilliant detective on the force! It was a travesty!

“Wwhat the fuck do you wwant?”

Eridan thought he sounded cool and collected, willfully ignoring the squeak in his voice.

“Dude, chill out. I have a lead on the Pupa gang. Figured you might be willing to trade for some access to the police mainframe?”

“I don’t need your-“

“Aight.”

Crowboy turned to leap out the window, smirking slightly as he counted under his breath.

“Three…two…one…”

“Wwait.”

It was all a matter of give and take, in the end.

[lakobie]

Sorry for the doublepost!

Give and Take

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Eridan Ampora was having a good day. He’d just taken down the Pupa Gang, detectived the indenty of Mr. Pupa himself, and dissolved the Strider Mafia with his mad detectiving skills. He also scored a date with the incredably sexy Miss Feferi Peixes, and right at that moment she was leaning in to kiss him after he saved her from a murderer intent on framing her.

Closer…closer…closer-

He was woken up by the distinctive feeling of his teddy bear, Watson, smacking his nose. He sat up, instantly alert, and reached for his gun as-

“Finally. I had to toss that ugly-ass thing at you, like, 5 times.”

“Shut your fuckin pie hole, Crowboy. He’s not ugly, he’s VVINTAGE.”

The shadowy figure by his window held up something that gleamed dully in the dim light.

“Looking for this?”

Curses! The vile criminal had managed to outthink the most brilliant detective on the force! It was a travesty!

“Wwhat the fuck do you wwant?”

Eridan thought he sounded cool and collected, willfully ignoring the squeak in his voice.

“Dude, chill out. I have a lead on the Pupa gang. Figured you might be willing to trade for some access to the police mainframe?”

“I don’t need your-“

“Aight.”

Crowboy turned to leap out the window, smirking slightly as he counted under his breath.

“Three…two…one…”

“Wwait.”

It was all a matter of give and take, in the end.

Holy shit i was just thinking of something before i read this that goes along pretty well

with your permission.... can i like... do a prequel thing?

[Katrika]

Of course!

[Mp3ii]

Im on it.

[Mp3ii]

Someone draw it?

I'm on it.

Edit: Daw crap I double posted sorta

[whimsicalInstigator]

Wow I'm starting to like this AU a lot.
Look! I arted!

I really like the street kids backstory for Karkat, Nep and Gamzee so that's why she looks so dirty (stop making excuses for your coloring anna)

[Katrika]

Eeeee, so cute!

[lakobie]

heeerrrrr so heres a thing Kat lemme know if you like the direction

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TG: okay hold on
TG: you need me to do what and why
TT: I need access to the police mainframe to give me more info on... things.
TG: what things
TG: stop with the cagey bs
TT: Look,
TT: I have a theory right now about some of whats happening in our city
TT: and specifically something that may be hidden in police records.
TT: But I cant confirm my suspicions unless I have access to police only files
TG: okay whats the theory
TT: I'll tell you once I confirm it.
TG: okay thats more cagey bullshit but whatever
TG: so how am I gonna get this info
TT: Either find a way to get it off of someone, or break in yourself under your CrowBro disguise and get the info in person.
TG: okay the second option is a maybe but who'd be moronic enough to just hand me access like santa hands out gifts
TG: wait
TG: okay yeah i think i got it
TT: Who do you have in mind?
TG: ima do the cagey bullshit thing you do and tell you after i "confirm" it
TT: Very funny.

[Mp3ii]

[crepuscularDissembler]

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If anyone gets this reference they will have my eternal admiration and love.

[Katrika]

Lakobie: Oh yes!

Mp3ii: Oh yesssss!

^It is of course a shoutout to Problem Sleuth!