TROLL!COPS: The AU

[Redikalus]

@KOACD: Oh shit, your fic is starting to make Mr.Pupa remind me of Johann Liebert from Monster.
This is awesome, Johann is one of my all time favorite villains and I highly recommend reading/watching that manga/anime. It is as awesome as it is terrifying

[Deeum]

Wow, this is a pretty great AU. Can I post things here, or this exclusive or something.

Quoting to let anyone who reads this know that this is open for ANYONE who wants to brainstorm their own thoughts/headcanons. Everyone has their own way of interpreting things and this is why I made the thread!

All you lurkers, I encourage you to come and post! We're all cool people here.

[Wigmund]

Some fanfic thing:

The Madman

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Sollux Captor sighed. In the middle of the street, a man was ranting. He wore a stolen Cairo Overcoat, shades pilfered from one of the members of the Strider Mafia, a novelty Troll Horn headband with one horn broken, and a mysterious, albeit awesome looking shirt. He held a horrific puppet in one hand. "I AM THE AVATAR OF THE CREATOR! I AM HE WHO IS BEYOND THE FOURTH WALL" the mad preacher shouted. "Goddamnit Andrew, you keep doiing thi2" Captor said. Andrew replied "You fool! The end is coming! I shall escape from my attic by riding a luck dragon to freedom" He then recited the history of the city, which was surprisingly in-depth. "Huh. Never knew the mayor wa2 once a farmer" Sollux muttered. "Anyway, you're comiing wiith me. How many tiime2 have you broken out of the iin2ane a2ylum anyway?" Andrew followed him back without struggle. "We have to iincrea2e 2ecuriity here" Sollux said to nobody in particular. Meanwhile, Andrew sat in his room, alone. The door was unlocked and opened by a prospitian lady. As he escaped, she went back to repainting the ward.

This sucks, I know. Still, I had to do something with mad hobo Andrew.

Oh god this was hilarious. I think I need to start inserting random Andrew encounters in my Troll!Cops fics - usually involving Sollux when he's not being embarrassed by Feferi.

I like tormenting poor Sollux here.

[KOACD]

@KOAC Oh shit, your fic is starting to make Mr.Pupa remind me of Johann Liebert from Monster.
This is awesome, Johann is one of my all time favorite villains and I highly recommend reading/watching that manga/anime. It is as awesome as it is terrifying

Thanks so much, that villain is probably pretty awesome. But I'm not really into Anime that much, because last time someone recommended something to me, it was a very graphic yaoi. I think its time for me to stop talking about this.

This probably isn't the place, but do you guys know how to put an icon on, or get pictures onto here?

[crepuscularDissembler]

Just go to "settings" to edit your personal stuff. For putting pictures into posts, click the little tree icon above the text box to get a "please enter the URL of your image" prompt.

[Redikalus]

And now the (longass) conclusion

Egbertman vs Feferi Peixes, part 2

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When Crowbro woke up, he felt chains wrapped around his wrists and ankles. He was captured. Shit. Curiously, his costume was still on, despite the excellent opportunity to unmask him.
Riiiiiiiise and shiiiiiiiine crow8boy.
Crowbro opened his eyes and looked up to see Mindfang and at least a half dozen of her pirates standing in front of him wearing maniacal grins.
you viilains are always so stupid in the same damn way
you have the masked hero tied up and then you don’t try to fucking unmask him until hes awake
Ahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! XXXXD
It’s 8ecause I wanted to see the look on your face when I unmaaaaaaaasked you!
yeah
but youve given me a chance to fucking escape
and prevent you from learning my secret
Even you can’t escape this Crow8oy. I’ve made sure of it!
dumbass
did you really think that with two of the biggest names in Alternia City going at it
that i would be the only person to investigate
What?
Before Crowbro could answer there was a great green burst and young woman garbed in green robes and a pointed hat suddenly appeared before Crowbro and Mindfang.
Sp8ce L8ss?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
hi d- er, crowbrow! :D
it looks like you could use some help!
talk later
escape now
oh, right!
and away we go!
Space Lass waved a strange subject that seemed to be shaped like a dog’s head before her and Crowbro and they both disappeared in another bright green burst.
D8mn iiiiiiiitttttttt!!!!!!!! DXXXX

*****

Officers Zahark, Pyrope, and Captor were congregating in AR’s office. AR had just brought them all up to speed on the current disaster. Officer Zahark was beginning to sweat and Officer Captor was fidgeting uncomfortably. Officer Pyrope broke the silence.
W3 OB1OUSLY H4V3 TO T4K3 TH3M BOTH DOWN.
whoa there, ii2nt that two har2h
ii mean
only one ii2 at fault right
D--> We also musn’t ignore Ms. Peixes e%alted blood, it would be unthinkable to harm her.
G33Z YOU TWO
I W4S JUST K1DD1NG >:P
OB1OUSLY 1T 1S TH3 WORK OF M1NDF4NG
good thinking
but no
They all had been preoccupied reacting to Officer Pyrope to notice that Crowbro had snuck in the room through the window. AR reacted first.
“Crowbro! This is police business! Out of my office! NOW!”
no
its not police business
AR stood up, enraged, and marched over to Crowboy and tried as best he could to get in his face.
“You are crossing a line. Your vigilantism is against the law! I should be arresting you right now!”
yeah no
listen
feferi is probably being controlled
think about it
why control feferi and not someone else
There was silence for a moment and then Officer Zahark responded
D--> To embarrass and offend her noble status.
exactly
a fucking smear campaign
looks like you cops have brains after all
and the reason to attack egbertman is to create a mess so big that the cops have to get involved on a large scale
Officer Pyrope blurted out: 4 D1STR4CT1ON!
yeah
someone wants the police to lighten up on them
AR returned to his desk and sat back down
“Hmmph. You said it wasn’t Mindfang? Why not?”
cause she needs to concentrate to pull shit like this
and ive already broken her concentration enough to know its not her
Now it was Officer Captor’s turn to get in Crowbro’s face.
what do we do now then, wii2e guy
let me handle this shit
ive already got space lass containing them to the bay
no more precious citizens getting hurt
keep yourselves aimed at real criminals
AR sighed.
“The media is going to fry us over this.”
just tell em that feferi was mindcontrolled
“And if she wasn’t?”
tell em anyway
wv is the best mayor this city has had in decades
we cant let his reputation be ruined
AR was becoming enraged again.
“You would have me lie? So blantanly?!”
to protect the few good things this city has
hell yes
sacrificing yourself for the greater good
i thought thats what being a policeman was about
And with that Crowbro left, jumping off of the windowsill onto a nearby tower and leaving a single black feather behind.

*****
Crowbro lept from rooftop to rooftop until he had reached the highest point in the area and perched himself on the highest point. He opened up his communications line with S.E.E.R.
rose
please tell me you fucking have something
the cops are getting involved
I believe I do Dave.
It seems that Ms. Peixes shares the blood of the Old One that died in the bay years back.
I did some digging and have found something startling; the blood Ms. Peixes shares with the Old Ones has a very similar ectoresonance to that of the subjects of demonology.
wow
i would have never guessed that those creepy ass monsters were similar to demons
great find rose
Well, the similarity is close enough that a sufficiently talented wielder of black magic, someone even farther in the arts than I, could affect the Old One, and thus could affect Ms. Peixes.
And the strongest investment in black magic in the city is…
kingpins mob

*****

Crowbro was now hopping from factory to factory. Fortunately Rose had given him a device to locate the origin of the magic. Unfortunately it was in a highly populated area so Crowbro couldn’t simply blow the area sky high like he wanted to. That was okay though, he was up for cutting down some criminals in person.
He managed to reach the target location as the sun was nearing its apex. After some quick scouting he confirmed his suspicions: very well guarded. Outside alone there were nine thugs and four hired muscle. Crowbro smirked, he loved a challenge.
The two thugs patrolling the roof went down first, decapitation before they could even react. The hired thug stationed with them managed to pull out his tommy-gun before he was disarmed, literally. After another decapitation, Crowbro snuck over to the roof access door and knocked. No answer. He swung the door open while standing to the side and two more hired thugs burst out. Before they could turn around and see him, Crowbro slipped inside, closed the door and then barred it shut. He let out a small chuckle, he had done that a hundred times and it still hadn’t gotten old.
As Crowbro descended through the building, he systematically slew anyone who could be remotely tied to Kingpin. By the time his locater told him that the next room held the source, he was covered in blood, but none of it his own. At this point, they must be aware that someone was here. No point in being subtle now.
Crowbro dragged his most recent victim up to the door, kicked it in, threw the corpse inside as hard as he could and immediately moved like a flash of lightning to the other side of the room. His little stunt with the corpse shocked most of the inhabitants and gave him a quick scan of the room. It was two floored, with him on the top floor overlooking a mass of thugs and cultists around a spell ring. What was most shocking was the two figures overlooking the ritual. They were Kingpin himself and a small troll with unusually large horns and wearing a top hat. Neither of them were shocked the corpse and both were staring directly at him. Shit.
Kingpin immediately yelled out, ordering all occupants to fire upon Crowbro. That really didn’t bother him, but the troll’s reaction? The small troll had just smiled, calmly and wickedly. He didn’t want to admit it, but the smile sent chills down his back. Before the thugs and cultists could respond, he jumped from his blown hiding place and landed in middle of the circle. Some of the thugs stupidly opened fire, killing some of their allies as Crowbro ducked out of the way and proceeded to cut them down. After a full minute of slaughter, Crowbro was standing in a ring of corpses. In the chaos Kingpin and the creepy troll managed to escape. He destroyed the spell circle with a device given by Rose. After he had gotten as much blood off of himself as he could and left the scene he opened up communications.
the spell is down
and the mob is a lot fucking smaller
I figured so; Space Lass just reported that Feferi had fainted.
yeah cool
but
theres something about this whole thing that creeped me out
Creeped you out? I didn’t know that was possible.
just
lets talk about it later
okay

*****

Feferi Peixes was returned to Mayor WV’s manor an hour later. The mayor was in a state of panic but Egbertman calmed him down and told him that what happened was no big deal to him and that he wasn’t angry. When Feferi woke up she didn’t have a single memory of the whole thing.
The media was on fire over the whole ordeal and Mayor WV came under fire. Explanations were given about mind control and gangster manipulation and evidence was shown. Soon all but the staunchest critics backed off of the mayor’s case and his reputation managed to emerge more or less unscathed.
Things at S.E.E.R., however, were not going so well. Rose and Dave, with the presence of the troll at the ritual, were piecing together something far more sinister and both we beginning to feel uneasy about this new threat: Mr. Pupa.

Before this, while they were aware of Karkat and gang's actions, S.E.E.R. and the police were not yet aware of Mr. Pupa, but now they're figuring it out.

Yeah... feferi fighting john was one of those WTF? ideas.
Oh well, hope you all are enjoying my descent into insanity as much as I am.

[jacobin mutterings]

Wow this theme is... oddly compelling for reasons I can't really put my finger on. I even wrote a thing, taking a more "scourge sisters" approach to the relationship between officer Serket and detective Pyrope. Unfortunately, and I dunno if it's just the subject matter or what (i.e. "ONE'S A VIOLENT SOCIOPATH! ONE JUST REALLY LIKES GETTING MEDIEVAL ON CRIMINALS! THEY'RE THE ORIGINAL ODD COUPLE!"), I can't get it to stop being on the grimdark end of film noir-ish.

Guess this'll learn me to treat a cold with MSPA and old Cagney films. and codine, that was probably a bad addition as well.

[Deeum]

Updated stuff and all that jazz. I'm sure I missed something. I'll try to fix that when I can.

I also couldn't get the picture obscureHeriglyph posted. shows up as nothing for me.

[HarMegidon]

Because people liked my earlier work, here is something new.
The Thirteenth Troll

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Karkat walked through the street. It was one of those rare times that he wasn't in the company of Nepeta and Gamzee, and he loved those moments of solitude. As he turned to enter an alleyway, a troll jumped in front of him. The troll had a symbol on it's shirt which looked like a U with a squiggle in it. "Hey Karkat, remember me?" he asked. "Who the fuck are you?" replied Karkat. "Don't you remember me? I'm in your little gang! Remember when we took those diamonds and where are you going" the troll said while Karkat walked away from him.

Later, the unknown troll burst into the Police Headquarters, holding a consort by the collar. "This guy tried to pickpocket me. Let's throw him in the slammer!" he yelled. "Alriight then, offiicer... um, what ii2 your name?" Sollux replied from his desk. "Asclep Apollo sir! Remember when we were investigating those illegal Fiduspawn fights Pupa set up?" the troll said, while saluting with his free arm. Sollux stared blankly at Asclep. "That wa2 Terezii who wa2 wiith me back then."

Asclep was eventually thrown into the insane asylum. Looking to the room the other side of the corridor, he saw a man, wearing a rainbow coat, a fake troll horn, and an awesome shirt and pair of shades. "I made you. I wrote you into this fantasyscape. This is all just a comic/animation I make for the internet." muttered Andrew. "Interesting. Tell me more please" said Asclep.

Also you mispelt my name, Deeum.

[Deeum]

S'what i get for updating when just getting outta bed. Fixin' it now.

Fixed.

[HarMegidon]

Also here is some stuff.

The Asylum Crew:
Andrew: A madman in strange clothing who claims to have created the world. Keeps escaping because of his girlfriend Miss Paint.
Asclep Apollo: A troll who always claims to be an acquaintance of everyone he sees.
Crumplehat: A consort with crippling depression for wearing a hat that apparently ashamed his ancestors.
Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff: Hideously deformed men who have a condition that forces them to speak with unusual pauses, mispronunciations, and in made up slang.
Miss Paint: Woman hired for redecorating the Asylum. Uses this to release Andrew at every opportunity.
Rose Lalonde: Therapist who works here when she isn't busy running SEER or being an information broker.

I look forward to the fanfics made about these crew. My next story will probably be about how Crumplehat got admitted, and the story after that about the tragedy of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff.

[KOACD]

Holy cow, Redikulas. That's a pretty awesome story.

[Thatoneguy]

Also here is some stuff.

The Asylum Crew:
Andrew: A madman in strange clothing who claims to have created the world. Keeps escaping because of his girlfriend Miss Paint.
Asclep Apollo: A troll who always claims to be an acquaintance of everyone he sees.
Crumplehat: A consort with crippling depression for wearing a hat that apparently ashamed his ancestors.
Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff: Hideously deformed men who have a condition that forces them to speak with unusual pauses, mispronunciations, and in made up slang.
Miss Paint: Woman hired for redecorating the Asylum. Uses this to release Andrew at every opportunity.
Rose Lalonde: Therapist who works here when she isn't busy running SEER or being an information broker.

I look forward to the fanfics made about these crew. My next story will probably be about how Crumplehat got admitted, and the story after that about the tragedy of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff.

Good sir, if you manage to make a legit sadfic staring SB&HJ I think the world might collapse.

[battlerek]

Guys I am loving the evil Tavros fics.

So here's a short fic involving the Pupa's exploits.

Pupa
Excerpt from Criminologist and author Bately Ace Hearst's book, Gangs of Alternia; An Encyclopedic Study of Alternia's Criminal Organizations

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It's amusing really, how criminals in just about every form seemed to converge on Alternia. There were the felt and the midnight crew, who were your typical (if cryptically mysterious) mobsters, who ruled certain portions of the city like they were kings. Within the confines of city hall the white-collar cronies of Senator Lemonsnout embezzled government funds right under the nose of the mayor. Mindfang's pirates pillaged ships travelling to the city. And of course there are the numerous street gangs whose crimes are fueled by poverty. But of all these criminals, none are more enigmatic than the inisidious Pupa.

Pupa first garnered public attention when several homes were burned down in a series of arsons 2 years ago. While this may seem relatively mundane when one considers the fantastical powers the Felt and the Mindfangs are reported to possess, it became apparent that there was a pattern to the homes burned. First, they were all homes of people who worked for the Consort Protection League, and second a symbol resembling a bull's head could be made by drawing a line on the map linking their destroyed homes. A few days later the APD received a cryptic note from a man calling himself Dr. Pupa, claiming that he was the perpetrator of these attacks. This was followed by the destructio of the CPL's Headquarters, which he too claimed to be responsible

His next attack came during the 21st of January, when the home of Alternia University's finest scientists were burglarized by one of Pupa's cohorts. Aside from a few documents on theoretical machinery and a cat nothing of value seems to have been stolen. This was followed by a series of seemingly random robberies around the city. Eventual analysis by an anonymous informant revealed that the items stolen were all mechanical parts. An estimated 413 hours after this revelation Pupa made his move, deploying an energy cannon that threatened to destroy city hall. It was only through the combined efforts of the APD and the city's vigilante's that the Pupa was defeated, although some theorists believe that he had an ulterior motive to this attack, as Alternia University was burglarized yet again during this attack by the Pupa.

A third attack followed during the 12th of June, and unlike his last attacks this time he was more direct, yet just as cryptic as his last attacks. The cruise liner HMS Stiller was attacked by the Mindfang pirates, and among their number the Pupa was present. Why he was working with the Mindfangs is a mystery, but reports say that he and his minions stole a valuable pearl ring belonging to the Earl of Lolar, escaping before the vigilante Egbert Man defeated the MindFangs.

There have been no attacks perpetrated by the Pupa since then, although many burglaries, murders and consort-related gang attacks have been associated with him. Rumors abound that he is manipulating the minorities of the city from behind the scenes, though analysts often point out this was the result of the poor conditions subjected on the consorts after the tragic Nitram Massacre years ago, of which young billionaire Tavros Nitram is the only survivor.

In conclusion, it is clear that the Pupa remains an enigmatic entity to this day. His actions are capricious and random, as opposed to the typical but nonetheless ruthless tactics of the Midnight Crew, or the glory seeking raids done by the Mindfang pirates. Analysts continue hotly debate on the Pupa's goals, or even he has any. What is clear however is that we have yet to see the last of the mysterious Pupa.

Okay maybe not really that short, but I was having too much fun with this.

[Varkarrus]

IMO, Nepeta should become a drug lord called Nepeta "Get Some Leaves" Leijon.

[gingerale]

IMO, Nepeta should become a drug lord called Nepeta "Get Some Leaves" Leijon.

Ew, please no. I like Nepeta! ;_;


By the way, what happens when a big bad guy is defeated? Sent to Alternia Prison Island? I see people like Pupa being sent to something like 'Charles Barkley Asylum for the Criminally Insane.'

[DJ-P0N3]

IMO, Nepeta should become a drug lord called Nepeta "Get Some Leaves" Leijon.

Ew, please no. I like Nepeta! ;_;


By the way, what happens when a big bad guy is defeated? Sent to Alternia Prison Island? I see people like Pupa being sent to something like 'Charles Barkley Asylum for the Criminally Insane.'

Are you suggesting this AU should have a prison like Arkham Asylum?

[Redikalus]

Managed to pump out a short fic this morning.
Hopefully I captured Mr. Pupa well.

mANIPULATION

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Tavros Nitram was wheeled into his study by his loyal servant and placed next to his desk.
i THINK, i WILL HAVE SOME ALTERNIA VINE TONIGHT, oUR OLDEST BOTTLE.
“Yes, master Nitram.”
The servant bowed and rushed off to fetch the wine. Tavros had just convinced Mr. Midas, that his annual charity fundraiser should go to the Consort Habitat, not the Shelter for Homeless Trolls. The Shelter would crumble over lack of funds and starving, desperate, violent trolls would flood the underworld while he would be heralded as a humanitarian for his aide of the poorest class in the city. Most definitely cause to celebrate. It was when he closed his eyes to bask in his own brilliance that the cold feeling of an iron barrel was pressed against his forehead.
I’m sick and tired of all these threeeeeeeeeats and manipul8ions Pupa!
Without opening his eyes, Tavros widened his smile.
hELLO OFFICER SERKET, wHAT EVER ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Don’t play games with me!
I know you’re Pupa and have been trying to manipul8 me!
And now you diiiiiiiie!
Tavros opened his eyes and looked directly into Vriska’s
dO YOU REALLY THINK, tHAT YOU WOULD HAVE MADE IT IN HERE, iF I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO BE HERE?
Vriska blinked. Tavros didn’t and held her gaze. She took step back, with the gun still trained on Tavros’ forehead, but no longer touching, before responding.
What????????
Are you saying that you wanted me to come in here and try and kill you?
iT WOULD SEND A CLEAR SIGNAL, wOULDNT IT?
a WELL LOVED NOBLEMAN, mUREDERED IN HIS OWN HOME, bY A COP.
Vriska took another step back, but kept staring back into his eyes.
They would never 8e a8le to connect it to me.
mS. PYROPE WOULD, nOTHING GETS PAST HER.
Another step back.
A signal to what?
tO EVERYONE, tHAT THE END HAD COME AT LAST.
Another step back.
The end of what?
eVERYTHING, wHAT ELSE?
aLL SCUM OF ALTERNIA CITY, wOULD KNOW THEIR TIME HAD COME AT LAST.
Vriska took another two steps back. She was visibly shaking now.
You… You…
cOME NOW VRISKA.
rIGHT HERE.
Tavros maintained his calm, steady gaze while he pointed to the center of his forehead.
sHOOT ME.
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
I won’t be your pawn!
She broke her gaze, and her aim, and ran from the room.
Tavros lowered his hand from his forehead. Too easy. Just then, his servant came back with the bottle of fine wine.
“If I may ask master, what is the occasion for such a good drink?”
oH, jUST THAT EVERYTHING, iS GOING ACCORDING TO PLAN.

I was careful to make sure Tavros never admitted to being Mr. Pupa while still clearly implying it, otherwise, Vriska could just arrest him.

[gingerale]

IMO, Nepeta should become a drug lord called Nepeta "Get Some Leaves" Leijon.

Ew, please no. I like Nepeta! ;_;


By the way, what happens when a big bad guy is defeated? Sent to Alternia Prison Island? I see people like Pupa being sent to something like 'Charles Barkley Asylum for the Criminally Insane.'

Are you suggesting this AU should have a prison like Arkham Asylum?

Why not? It'd fit the setting and the city. And that way we could always have the rogues gallery coming and going as the writers like.

Phew, finished reading latest of the awesome fics.

[DJ-P0N3]

IMO, Nepeta should become a drug lord called Nepeta "Get Some Leaves" Leijon.

Ew, please no. I like Nepeta! ;_;


By the way, what happens when a big bad guy is defeated? Sent to Alternia Prison Island? I see people like Pupa being sent to something like 'Charles Barkley Asylum for the Criminally Insane.'

Are you suggesting this AU should have a prison like Arkham Asylum?

Why not? It'd fit the setting and the city. And that way we could always have the rogues gallery coming and going as the writers like.

Phew, finished reading latest of the awesome fics.

Not a bad idea.

[Wigmund]

By the way, what happens when a big bad guy is defeated? Sent to Alternia Prison Island? I see people like Pupa being sent to something like 'Charles Barkley Asylum for the Criminally Insane.'

Are you suggesting this AU should have a prison like Arkham Asylum?

The Veil from that map I drew.
Like Arkham, despite being maximum security, criminals still escape from it.

[Wigmund]

The Teapot Mystery
Part 2 (Part 1)

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Officer Sollux Captor of the Alternia City Police Department, in the tiny fishing town of Teapot on an investigation of a series of disappearances/murders that primarily plagued tourists but then claimed the Teapot Sheriff's Department with his squad partner Officer Terezi Pyrope and the mayor's aide Ms Feferi Peixes, woke to find himself facing somethings that were most definitely not pillows.

One moment, Sollux was groggily waking up after the first good night's sleep he had in years. The next, he had has back on of the bedroom's walls and had in his panic, pinned himself to where the wall met the ceiling with his psionic powers. He stared in terror and embarrassment at what else was in his bed and had woken up due to Sollux's gibbering.

"W)(u)(? W)(at's wrong Sollux?"
"What are you doiing iin my bed?! Why were you thleepiing in here? II thought you were iin the other room wiith Terethi."
Feferi sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and focused on the half-naked troll floating near the ceiling. She gave him a sleepy smile.
"Well, first t)(ing, t)(is is actually MY B-ED. I used to sleep )(ere w)(en my family would travel )(ere."
"As for w)(y I'm in )(ere instead of wit)( Ms Pyrope...well, I was worried about you...
So I came to see )(ow you were doing and I saw you asleep but you w)(ere tossing and turning and looked troubled."
She looked away because the memory of him looking so pained actually was not something she wanted to remember.
"I crawled in next to you and )(ugged you because it felt like somet)(ing you needed. But t)(en you cuttled in close and you just looked so )(appy...I ended up falling asleep..."
Feferi looked up at the man she so desperately wanted to be with. So much she went on criminal rampages to get his attention.
"Oh...II'm thorry about that-"
"I...I don't want to pry...you talked about your mot)(er while you slept-"
Sollux just stared at her.
"II'm not goiing to talk about that. IIt'th goiing to be a buthy day and II need to get ready. Tho iif you would pleathe leave the room tho II can get ready, iit would be apprethiiated."

Feferi cringed at this. Sollux was angry about something. She shouldn't have brought up his mother. She nodded and left the room, closing the door behind her.

Ms Peixes went back to the room she and Terezi were sharing, got dressed and then walked into the living room where she was met by Terezi's incessant giggling.

"So, P31x3s, how w4s your 4ppl3b3rry Cobbl3r?"
Dirty grin. But Feferi just sat down opposite of Terezi and looked at the door leading to her old room.
"Not)(ing )(appened...I screwed up..."
Terezi cocked an eyebrow at the sad seatroll.
"I wanted to comfort )(im because I could sea that he was troubled. But during the nig)(t )(e kept talking. It was about )(is mot)(er and )(ow )(e didn't want to sea )(er cry and )(ow )(e was going to protect )(er."
Feferi wrapped her arms around herself and looked up at Terezi.
"I barely mentioned t)(at to Sollux and )(e clammed up and tossed me out of the room."
"oh..."
"Did I do somet)(ing wrong? Is )(e going to )(ate me?"
She was about to start crying. Terezi sighed. Can't have shit like this so early in the day, there was much more important shit to deal with. So she sat down next to the poor girl and put an arm around her shoulder.
"Don't worry about th4t M1ss Gr4p3. C4ptor's just hyp3r d3f3ns1v3 about h1s f4m1ly 4nd do3sn't l1k3 t4lk1ng about th3m. 4s you s41d, h3'll just cl4m up 4nd shut down 1f th3y 4r3 m3nt1on3d."
"W)(at )(appened to t)(em?"
"Noth1ng, 3xc3pt for h1s f4th3r who w4s on3 of th3 f1n3st off1c3rs to 3v3r s3rv3 th3 4PD 4nd w4s murd3r3d 1n 4 botch3d robb3ry tw3nty som3 odd y34rs ago. Th3y'r3 4ll 4l1v3 4nd w3ll 1n th3 H1v3sburg port1on of th3 S3ttl3m3nts. Hug3 f4m1ly."
Terezi smiled and nudged Feferi.
"1 4ctu4lly m3t h1s moth3r 4t on3 of th3 ch4r1ty b4lls honor1ng r3t1r3d fl4tf33t."
Terezi leaned in close and was starting to get Feferi to smile.
"You b3tt3r w4tch out M1ss f1shy. Sh3's qu1ck w1tt3d w1th 4 tongu3 th4t 3v3n m4d3 m3 blush. 1f you 4nd Sollux 3v3r com3 to th3 r34l1z4t1on th4t th3 p3opl3 th4t would c4rp 4 f1t 4bout you two b31ng tog3th3r don't m4tt3r for sh1t, you'll b3 1n for som3 fun."
Terezi started laughing as the mayor's aide blushed in embarrassment. Feferi wondered how could this blind girl be so damned perceptive, it was unnatural.

But before they could continue on, they both looked up to see Sollux standing behind them. He didn't look too happy.
"Talkiing about me behiind my back?"
"No...I...uh"
"Of cours3 you tw1t."
Sollux frowned at Terezi and then sighed. He apologized to Feferi for acting rude earlier and promised to make it up later. Then the two police officers left to start their investigations, leaving Feferi alone in the cabin.

The two had decided that going plain clothes would hopefully help the locals trust them a bit more. Sollux wore what he usually did when he wasn't at work - mismatched tennis shoes, blue jeans and a black t-shirt with his zodiac symbol (mother was big into astrology) in mustard yellow on his chest. Terezi, whom Sollux had never seen out of uniform, wore a tank top, shorts, sandals and an open button-up shirt...Sollux swore that it was the same tank top she had slept in.

They went into town to start asking questions about the disappearances.

And got nothing but silence and cold stares.

"Well thiith hath been a fuckiing wathte of tiime. Wonder why they athked uth to come here."
"Th3y'r3 sc4r3d of som3th1ng. From wh4t 1 und3rstood from th1s sl33py town's m4yor 1s th4t only outs1d3rs w3r3 th3 on3s who v4n1sh3d. Up unt1l r3c3ntly wh3n som3th1ng h4pp3n3d th4t dr3w th3 sh3r1ff's 4tt3nt1on."
They paced around the town's square as Terezi worked things out in her head.
"Th3y d1dn't c4r3 4bout th3 tour1sts! Som3th1ng 3ls3 must h4v3 h4pp3n3d to m4k3 th3 loc4l cops p4y 4tt3nt1on.
4nd w3 n33d to t4lk to th3 m4yor 4g41n, 1 w4nt to ch3ck out th3 pol1c3 st4t1..."
Terezi stopped and stared to stare directly at the town hall. She was suddenly very worried.
"What'th wrong now Thniiffleth?"
"Sollux, do you r3m3mb3r much from our conv3rs4t1on w1th th3 m4yor?"
"A biit, he theemed thurpriithed to thee uth. But onthe we mentiioned that we were here to help them wiith..."
Now Sollux stared at the town hall in utter confusion.
"He wath thurpriithed. He diidn't know we we comiing."
"3x4ctly my d34r 4ppl3b3rry. Unt1l th31r cops w3r3 murd3r3d, th3y d1dn't 4sk for h3lp. 3v3n 4ft3r th4t, th3y d1dn't."
Terezi found a bench and sat down, resting her head upon her cane.
"So th3 qu3st1on 1s - Who told us 4bout th1s?"
Sollux sat down next to her and leaned back, staring at the sky. It was a nice summer day.
"Tho...thould we check the poliithe thtatiion or thould we track down whoever leaked the newth to uth?"
"St4t1on f1rst, th3n our 1nform4nt. 1 don't w4nt to los3 th3m wh1l3 w3'r3 busy 3ls3wh3r3."

They got up and walked, quite literally, across the street and opened the door to the town's police department and jail.

Apparently no one had gotten around to cleaning the mess besides giving the sheriff and his deputies a proper burial. Blood stains were everywhere and there was a massive pile of ash in the middle of the front office were the perpetrator destroyed the place's paperwork.

"Lookth liike the aftermath of a Miidnight Crew hiit. Ethept there would be a crater nearby due to that Deuthe thiit."
"No, th3y'r3 m3ss13r. 4nd th3r3's som3th1ng 3ls3 h3r3..."

Terezi paced around the station. Like most of the buildings in town, it was a tiny building. There was the front office with several desks where the former staff worked, immediately connected to that were some jail cells, most likely for storing drunks than anything else. There were a pair of rooms off to the side of the office. Sollux checked those out to find a rest room and the other door was locked. Not much hindrance to a telekinetic, he unlocked the door and opened it to find the station's armory.

"You fiind anythiing interethtiing T-thi?"
"1 th1nk so, but 1'm go1ng to n33d mor3 th4n th1s to st4rt conn3ct1ng th3 thr34ds 1'v3 gr4sp3d so f4r. Wh4t 4bout you?"
Sollux walked into the armory, out of Terezi's line of scent and after a moment came up to her.
"Lookth liik3 our thycho mitthed thomethiing."
He presented a folder to Terezi who grinned evilly as she took a deep whiff of it.
"1 sm3ll f34r."

They walked outside, closing the station's door behind them.

Several locals watched them.

Fear and suspicion in their eyes.

"Dammiit, thiith iith goiing to be liike thothe horror thtoriieth where the curiiouth out-of-townerth are horriifiically murdered by thycho cultiitht localth iithn't iit?"
"H3H3H3H3"

Terezi's grin apparently was just enough to encourage the locals to continue with their business, but the two still felt like they were being watched. Sollux hated this, back in AC it meant horrifically bad shit was getting ready to go down very soon.

But here, it felt different. It felt like someone - or something - was calculating something.

"Fuckiing creepy plathe."
"Don't b3 such 4 d3pr3sso 4ppl3b3rry.
Th3y'r3 not go1ng to bust 1n on you 4nd M1ss Gr4p3 dur1ng th3 n1ght to s4cr1f1c3 you two to th3 horrort3rrors."

The two started walking back to the cabin, they had spent quite a bit of time searching the station. They wouldn't have enough time to track down their informer and question them today, besides Terezi really wanted to dig into the folder Sollux found in the station's armory. Someone had hidden that while they were scared for their life, she could smell it and she wanted to find out why.

"Th3y'r3 4fr41d of som3th1ng Sollux.
And 1t's not us."

As they walked out of town, shadow on the station's roof watched them leave.

A/N:

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First time with a mystery, it probably shows.

What's going on? I have no idea! Let's find out together next time when I return with part 3 of The Teapot Mystery.

Also, there probably won't be much more romantic tension for awhile, so don't worry about me spending another half of a chapter on Sollux and Feferi. But I plan on that scene being relevant later on during this mystery.

[Blox]

Had to come out of lurking to say ow much I love this AU C8
I'd write, but my story skills aren't very good, so have a scribbly drawing
Fun fact, this was drawn entirely in MS Paint! {My layers D8}

[Wigmund]

D'awww. That bag's full of cookies isn't it?

[crepuscularDissembler]

Oh my god Redikalus, that was lovely.
A perfect gambling, goading, confident in his knowledge of the subject and ability to manipulate, chessmaster-y villain.