TROLL!COPS: The AU

[crepuscularDissembler]

I can't imagine that Dave would leave any child of his eye's unshaded. It's a beautiful family tradition.
Is her symbol ok-looking? I was really debating on what to use for it. Also, what should her name be?

That "Contest" story painted beautiful and ridiculous pictures inside my head.

[frostedWarlock]

I can't imagine that Dave would leave any child of his eye's unshaded. It's a beautiful family tradition.
Is her symbol ok-looking? I was really debating on what to use for it. Also, what should her name be?

That "Contest" story painted beautiful and ridiculous pictures inside my head.

> Enter Name - Liv Tyler.

That name doesn't even make sense!!

> Enter Name - Dee Jay "DJ" Strider

Your name is Dee Jay Strider.

cuz in mah headcanon her parents are Dave and Jade.

Edit: Just realized the six letter name, so that means that if you ship DaveXTerezi, the name still works for you.

[Wigmund]

I call her Maggie.
Even though I ship DaveTerezi. Maggie might be Jade's, might be Terezi's - hell, she might belong to another woman Dave had an affair with.
He never told her in the future.

But, all I know is she's fun to write for and doodle. Look at her cute mug.

I use the different text styles to show how she'll change her voice with her mood.

[Masterly]

I can't imagine that Dave would leave any child of his eye's unshaded. It's a beautiful family tradition.
Is her symbol ok-looking? I was really debating on what to use for it. Also, what should her name be?

That "Contest" story painted beautiful and ridiculous pictures inside my head.

> Enter Name - Liv Tyler.

That name doesn't even make sense!!

> Enter Name - Dee Jay "DJ" Strider

Your name is Dee Jay Strider.

cuz in mah headcanon her parents are Dave and Jade.

Edit: Just realized the six letter name, so that means that if you ship DaveXTerezi, the name still works for you.

Personally I like the name Deandra. Andra means manly, and Deandra is a common variant of it.

[gingerale]

I personally support Maggie just to go with the obvious who's the superhero theme we've had going on. Also those faces are awesome. xD

Though it makes me think that maybe it's not Jade or Terezi but Nepeta!

[DJ-P0N3]

I personally support Maggie. Also those faces are awesome. xD

Though it makes me think that maybe it's not Jade or Terezi but Nepeta!

Dave gets all the ladies.

[frostedWarlock]

My design for her.



She has pale skin and the hat/shades to keep her genetic mother ambiguous. I also imagine her as using a good chunk of the Strider fortune to invest in cosmetic technology at the genetic level just to make herself hotter. Ironically of course. (though she secretly wants to impress RoseXJohn's son who is completely oblivious to all forms of romance)

[KOACD]

rfgthjyu
These are so good.

[Deeum]

Sorry for the lack of activity here lately, guys! Feel free to drub me mercilessly.
I'll try to do something to contribute to this thread at some point soon.

Keep up all the awesome stuff, guys.

[Wigmund]

Draw some Magpie/CrowBoob, we've all become obsessed with her recently.

what I really want to see after reading Wigmund's One For Sorrow is a fic containing both Magpie and The Weasel.

Dammit.

Two For Pleasure

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Sure, he could have picked a better name for this costume...but Nepeta was just so fucking insistent about the name. He couldn't stand to see her use those big sad green eyes whenever she started begging for something. But after looking up the fucking critter in the library, The Weasel, seemed appropriate.

When he got a hold of something, he'd never let go.

Since Nepeta was down from their run-in with The Magpie and Karkat convinced Gamzee to keep watch to make sure she didn't start prowling around the apartment and end up ruining the stitching holding her guts in, he had the foreseeable future to himself. So it was time to take out his wrath on the rest of the thugs that populate Alternia City.

He smiled at the irony of him doing the exact same thing he was pissed at that woman over. That superhero in that tight costume that left little to the imagination...

...

"GODDAMMIT! FOCUS!"
The Weasel gripped his own head and tried to tear it off in frustration.
"That bitch tried to kill you and nearly killed Nepeta! You can't get all light headed just because she gave Nepeta that cat toy..."
He leaned forward and rested his head upon his arms on the edge of the rooftop he was on, smiling wistfully to himself.
"...and gave me that kiss..."

"BLUH!!"

He managed to clear his head enough that he started his patrol. This little artifact he found on one of the Gang's jobs did wonders for his strength, agility and durability. It was no effort to leap from rooftop to rooftop, and just as easy to use the sickle-clawed gauntlets to scurry down the sides of buildings to surprise those hiding in the shadowy alleyways.

The night progressed and he stopped several small crimes. Petty stuff usually. He did stop one rape - that guy wouldn't be doing anything with that part of his body ever again.

Karkat enjoyed doing that to that piece of shit. He even gave the woman the number to get ahold of Officer Terezi Pyrope and the APD's medical officer Kanaya whateverherlastnameis. Terezi likes dealing with rapists, she hangs them differently than everyone else.

Karkat found that he had wandered over to Alternia Island during his patrol, so he figured that he should cause some shit with one of the gangs over here - The Felt, The Kingpin's Mob, The Midnight Crew and the Strider Mafia. So many targets, so little time.

He took up watch at the Deadman's Corner, which made up the intersect of The Narrows, Old Town and The Foundry. There was an old grain silo that dominated the skyline for blocks around and was popular with most everyone in the area as both a watchtower and make-out point.

The Weasel looked up and sighed, thanks to the city lights, he couldn't see the stars. It was a clear night. During one of his crimes for Mr Pupa, Karkat had found himself miles away from Alternia City and for the first time, saw the night sky. Ever since then it had become something he wanted to see again. Maybe it was why he patrolled as the Weasel...just in case someone managed to blow the City's power so he could see the stars again.

He was distracted by this wishful thinking, so he didn't hear the footsteps approaching him from behind.

Hell, he didn't think anything was wrong until he saw the energy sword extend over his shoulder right next to his head.

The Weasel carefully turned around to find himself face mask to helmet with the Magpie.
"Is it not a truly wonderful night?"
Oh fuck.

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"What...what are you doing here?"
He had no idea if she smiled inside her helmet, but the way she leaned in close and purred at him left little doubt.
"I'm dreadfully sorry.
I didn't realize there was a one vigilante limit to this rooftop, Mr...."
"Weasel. I'm the Weasel."
"Hmmmm...Well then, Weasel, I didn't realize there a vigilante limit here."

She walked away from him, swaying her hips. Oh god, he could make out everything back there...those wings just framed that view perfectly. He looked back across the city when she turned around and rested up against the other side of the roof's wall.

"Such a pity though, this location gives such a great view of Alternia Island."
"That's why I picked this spot."
"I just wonder why that rule doesn't apply to alllll those couples I see up here nightly."
She turned around again, leaning forward, thrusting that rump towards The Weasel.
"Oh...uh..."

Karkat's mind was a battlefield between the various factions of his mind: Oh god, compose yourself Karkat! But look at that ass! This bitch nearly killed Nepeta! Remember that kiss afterwords? She would have killed you if the cops hadn't showed up! Yeah, so, ass and nice tits and lovely lips. You're a stupid fuckass!

While Karkat had this mental debate, the Magpie noticed that he was having...difficulties. So she strode back over to the confused troll and leaned on him.
"Guhhh...."
"Something wrong?"
"No...no...I'm just wondering?"
She rubbed a finger on his chest and sighed. Thank gog for that reinforced codpiece.
"What?"
"What are you fucking doing here? Why are you doing this?"

The Magpie took a couple of steps back and whipped up her visor. Karkat's mind stopped working. She was...beautiful.

She batted her reddish eyes at the Weasel and pouted her lip at him.
"I'm a Magpie, I find it hard to resist shiny things I find.
Like pearls that are hidden in the muck."
Oh shit.
"What the fucking hell are you talking about?"
"How's the catgirl? Did she like the present I left for her?
It looked like you enjoyed my gift to you before I left her room..."
The Magpie flashed him a devilish grin that went clear across her face.
"How did you know it was-?"
"The cutie from the alleyway that confronted me with the horrific truth about his life?"
She stopped smiling now and looked a gave him a sympathetic frown.
"It's your voice...and to be honest, your costume really doesn't conceal your identity that well. Not many trolls have such nubby horns."

Karkat's hands whipped up to cover his horns and got ready to yell at the Magpie when she raised her hands and took his down.
"Which I find them incredibly cute."
He couldn't help himself, Karkat went into a full-body blush.

Which prompted the Magpie to giggle at him. Oh god, she made that simple sound sound so melodious and sexy. It melted him inside...except...oh thank you codpiece.
"You know, I've heard that Weasels are the same thickness from head to tail."
My gog that smile would earn any movie an NC-17 rating.
"Is it true?"
"Oh wow, look at the time...uhhhh...my night's done and I need to head back to base.
That's right, head back to base."
"Really? Or are you just so flustered that you're going home so you can relieve some pressure?"
Sly smirk. Karkat sighed and took off his mask. She already knew who he was, so no loss. He wanted to tell her off and stop frustrating him all this innuendo. However, as soon as he took the mask off, she locked lips with him.

He thought about pulling away. He thought about what his reaction would have been if any other woman had done this to him. He wanted to tell her off...but what was he going to say now? But all he could do was wrap his arms around this wonderful, beautiful, crazy as fucking hell woman and enjoy the moment.

Eventually, they pulled away from each other. God that was good. She sighed and stroked his hair.

"I saw earlier that the Midnight Crew were moving some heavy weaponry into the Lost District to supply the Secret Wizards. Do you want to go cause so havoc?"
"Fuck yeah."

A/N:

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Dammit, what the hell prompted this? Why can't Karkat resist

I imagine this isn't what you wanted Rediklaus, but as soon as I started writing all of this spilled out.
I couldn't help myself I just had to ship that ass. I had to ship it. Ship it right now!

[KOACD]

This is dumb. I am tired.

fOuNtAiNs ArE a MiRaClE

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The fountain in the middle of North Grub park was a very lovely thing to see.
The water was clean and clear, and it cascaded down the sides of the ornate, shell like stone bowl suspended above a pool of water by a stone pillar in the middle.
The flashy boondollars tossed idly in the bottom also added to its appearance.
The juggalo hobo troll washing his afro in it did not.

At first, he was just going to reach in and see what a wish in coin form felt like, but he fell in, and then it was like.... being in... some sort of, like, mother fucking waterfall, but all fucking tiny and shit.
It was amazing.
It was a miracle.

Unfortunately, the police soon arrived to put an end to Mr. Makaras adventure, and he had to run through the city with wet, baggy pants.

The End.

North Grub Park.
It will be located in the West.
No one will ever see it coming.

[crepuscularDissembler]

Aahhh Wigmund Magpie is so ridiculously blatant, I love it.
Anyways, calling yourself Maggie when your superhero name is Magpie is pretty obvious....

...but her wildly different styles of dress make up for it, I think.

[Wigmund]

Horrible things were eating the world of the future, she never learned 'subtle'.

[crepuscularDissembler]

And 'womanly wiles' are hardly Dave's teaching area of expertise.

[gingerale]

Gog I love you guys.

[HarMegidon]

I only hope Magpie doesn't become a mary sue.

[crepuscularDissembler]

Well, as long as we can force ourselves to stop drawing her/writing about her, we don't have to worry about that happening.

[frostedWarlock]

Oh god, he could make out everything back there...those wings just framed that view perfectly.

Also she'd only become a Mary Sue if we made her too powerful. Making her sexy and people noticing it is not enough to make her a Mary Sue. She's just gotta be a total klutz.

DeeJay: When have I ev-- *just dropped a cup of coffee* ...except now?

[inexpediency]

I don't know, klutziness alone usually isn't enough to keep someone from being a Mary-Sue. It actually kind of makes characters more endearing in some cases.

[frostedWarlock]

I don't know, klutziness alone usually isn't enough to keep someone from being a Mary-Sue. It actually kind of makes characters more endearing in some cases.

Superheroes that are klutzes are endearing, yes, but they usually cannot do their job without fucking up in some way. That is how klutziness will eliminate her being a Mary Sue.

[Captain Lhurgoyf]

If we want to take a break from this Magpie discussion, there's something I had just wanted to draw since I thought of it last night. Pretty much every cop show eventually has to do the whole "cop goes undercover as a hooker" plot, but if a certain other cop AU taught me anything, it's infinitely funnier when the cop doing so is a guy. And since I have no idea where this'd go in writing and would probably just be a DOUBLE K ripoff anyway...

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Ugh crappy sorry...Maybe this was just an excuse to draw Sollux in drag. THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW.

[FieryBlacksmith]

Any of you know Squirrel Girl? She's a Marvel superheroine with the power of talking to squirrels, near-Spiderman levels of strength/agility, medium awareness, ability to talk through the fourth wall, and battleship-class plot armor. She has defeated Doctor Doom (several times), MODOK, Fing Fang Foom, Deadpool (who is a mean, mean man!), Thanos, Baron Mondo, Ego the Living Planet, and many more, all by herself and her squirrels.

This is about as Mary Sue as you can get, but it is awesome, so the readers tend to let Marvel get away with her. The point being here, if they can do something like that, why can't you guys?

[Redikalus]

I can see where HarM is coming from; she's from the future, the kid of one of the 'main characters,' has a lot of future hi-tech, is really badass... Sounds like the recipe for a Sue to me. :/
On the subject of klutziness, don't over do it, otherwise we go Anti-Sue, which can be just as bad.
It just means we have to be careful depicting her.
Hopefully the fic I planned to put her end won't depict her as a Sue.

Anyway, part two of my current fic: (part one is here)

S.E.E.ing Double: part 2

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It was noon before Sollux was able to track Rose down again. Not only was she eating lunch with the Alpha Dave Strider, they were eating at the Devil’s Spice, a Strider Mafia run business. They were eating outside on a small veranda with a handful of tables. Despite yesterday’s storm, today had amazing weather. So much so that Sollux kinda wished that he had taken a day off today, but no one else would pursue this case, so he had no choice but to work. Fortunately for Sollux, the restaurant next door was a perfectly legitimate business and also had some outside seating. Sollux took the table nearest to the Devil’s Spice and was trying to decide what to order while trying to listen to Rose and Dave’s conversation when he heard something that almost made him drop his menu. Sollux glanced over in their direction and his suspicion was confirmed. Their very waiter was a Dave Strider wearing an bad wig and obviously fake mustache. Jegus, it was like they wanted him to connect them to the Strider Mafia or something.
Sollux spent the next half an hour eavesdropping on their conversation only to be disappointed. The two were talking about rather benign things and no matter how Sollux analyzed the conversation, he could find no conceivable code talk or secret messages being passed. Suddenly his radio buzzed on:
“Come in Officer Captor, a report has come in that The Culler is striking again, this time at the Lusii Monument.”
The other patrons of the restaurant began to give Sollux dirty looks for allowing their quiet meals to be disturbed. Sollux cursed under his breath; surely Rose and Dave heard that. He didn’t have time for this, but… he couldn’t let any other cop take this. He hastily picked up his receiver.
ten four on that, iim on my way there.
Sollux called for his check, hurriedly paid and rushed off. As he left Dave and Rose also called for their tip. When their waiter brought the check he asked, would you two care for anything else tonight
No, thank you, we are in a hurry.
yeah
we need to pick something up from my friends
Dave the waiter nodded and with that, the signal was sent. Rose and Dave paid and the three left the table to get ready for tonight’s event.

*****

Elsewhere in the city, someone had hacked the police radio system, with some much needed help from a device acquired just for such an occasion. Who knew the system would be so secure. The hacked radio suddenly buzzed on, giving the hacker the same message it gave Sollux. The hacker smile, this time it was a supervillain. Tonight was looking to be a lucky night.

*****

Rose stood at the entrance to S.E.E.R.’s most secure base of operations and main storage center for secured artifacts. Standing with her were her friends and fellow S.E.E.R members John, Jade, and Dave, all dressed up as their respective alter egos. Flanking them were two members of the Strider Mafia. A delivery truck drove up to the hidden entryway. In the driver and passenger seats sat two more members of the Mafia. As the truck came to a stop, the back doors swung open and out jumped another two Striders. As the Striders pulled out ramps up to the storage section, Rose and the others walked over to get a better look. They found nine crates stack up near the back of the truck, the number they were looking for and the biggest amount of Skaian technology S.E.E.R. had ever delivered: a year worth of work from the Mafia. Rose started barking orders.
John, Jade, and three Striders, start hauling these boxes over to the elevator! Everyone else stay up here on guard duty!
The Strider in the passenger seat hopped out and helped Jade grab one of the crates, John was the only one who could lift a crate by himself. The driver stayed in his seat, prepared to make a getaway if necessary. The five of them dragged the first three crates over to the lift, John pressed a button, and the lift began to lower them into the hideaway. Alpha Dave looked at Rose.
tell me again why we cant use jades space powers to just warp them in
Because it’s shielded against that so someone with similar powers can’t just teleport in and rob us blind!
right
Rose was wearing a look of frustration on her face. Dave couldn’t understand why; the delivery was going smoothly. They stood there in silence for a few moments before Dave spoke up again.
youre acting like something is going wrong
which isnt happenin
I can’t shake the feeling that something is going to go wrong tonight.
we shook that red and blue eyed asshole
I know, that’s not it. Maybe we will get attacked.
John and the others came back up the lift at the moment. Rose turned to them.
Good work so far. Keep going with the next three.
The next three boxes were dragged back to the elevator and they began their descent again. Rose began passing back and forth when Dave responded to her last comment.
no one is going to attack
and even if they are they will find a fucking hard nut to crack
weve got crowbro egbertman space lass and you here as well as ten members of the mafia protecting the past present and future
not to mention all the censors and defenses you rigged the area with
this is probably the safest place in the city right now
Rose stopped and shook her head.
I know, but I still can’t shake this feeling.
She sounded as if she wanted to believe him that they were safe. The five came back up and Dave did the talking this time.
one more group and were home free
keep em going
The Striders and Jade grabbed the first two boxes and Egbert grabbed the last one and they carried them back to the elevator. Once again John pressed the button that began their descent. Rose and Alpha Dave stood in silence letting the seconds tick by. Rose pulled out her wand and examined it, it had been a long time since she had used it. After an agonizing wait for Rose, the five crate carriers came back up the elevator.
okay rose, everything’s set down there.
delivery complete!
Dave signaled for the Mafia to pack it up. The four Striders that came in the van shut the rear doors and took their previous positions as the truck drove off. Dave turned back to Rose.
see
no problems
Rose still had that stressed look on her face.
Perhaps my feeling will be satisfied once I see the crates down there.
The four of them went back to the elevator and rode it down. It went down a good hundred feet before stopping. It opened up to a hallway lined with doors. They walked to the end of the hallway and opened the double doors found there. Rose walked through to their storage room and found the nine crates place exactly where she wanted them. She let out a sigh of relief.
Alright, let’s break them open. I can sort them later.
The four of them grabbed crowbars that lay on a table near the entrance and began cracking open the crates. Within was stored marvoulous devices of nearly limitless forms and uses. Rings, communicators, weapons, anything you could imagine. And now these potent devices were safe from the city’s shadowy underworld. Each of the group broke open tow of the crates leaving one crate unopened. Rose walked over and wrenched it open herself. When she looked inside she dropped her crowbar and a look of horror spread across her face. Dave caught on to something being wrong first and walked over.
rose
whats wrong with that cra-
As he came closer, Dave saw what was wrong. The crate contained not a single artifact, but a pile of simple, useless rocks. Someone had swapped the contents.
oh-
FUCK!!!

Comments:

I imagine this isn't what you wanted Rediklaus,

@Wigmund: Wasn't really asking for anything in particular and didn't really expect a response. Personally not a fan of romantic stuff, but good writing is good writing, so I read your fics anyway.
@KOACD: Very nice, very funny
@CrepuscularDissembler: So many colors! With such a nice contrast between alter egos, no one will suspect!
@FieryBlacksmith: Writing a 'good' Mary Sue is hard and careful work and even if we pull it off, not everyone is pleased with the result. I know quite a few people who can't stand Squirrel Girl. I think we shouldn't actively try to cultivate a Mary Sue, but to each their own.

[frostedWarlock]

I can see where HarM is coming from; she's from the future, the kid of one of the 'main characters,' has a lot of future hi-tech, is really badass... Sounds like the recipe for a Sue to me. :/

Clearly we must add and subtract from this equation.

Techwise, how about she just has the glider and the beamsword, and she totally derped and forgot to bring future batteries for the sword so she is forced to have a hiltKind specibus.
Also, I thought she only TRIED to be badass, but whenever showed any discipline it completely throws her off her game and has no idea what to do. That's what the story showed me.
And of course we wouldn't overdo the klutziness. Just enough to make it obvious that she has flaws.

EDIT: ...in retrospect, we just give her Dave's forgetfulness and Jade's occasional derpyness and we're good. We don't need the klutziness.

[FieryBlacksmith]

Pro tip: dropping the word "klutz" is pretty much cruise control for Mary Sue.