TROLL!COPS: The AU

[crepuscularDissembler]

"'And what did we learn today kids?'
'It is better to be feared than loved!'
'Very good!!'"

[Wigmund]

Dammit, Prostitute Sollux reminded me that I had a sequel to a fic planned where he had a guest shot in a similar role. Guess what I finished writing in the fanfic thread?

In other news: Bluh, I spent most of yesterday drawing every character that's featured in the Troll!Cops AU:

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Jade Harley/Space Lass
The Consorts: Casey Von Salamancer / Secret Wizard / Senator Lemonsnout the Second
Sergeant Equius Zahhak
Officer Aradia Megido
Officers Terezi Pyrope
Sollux Captor
Detective Eridan Ampora
Medical Officer Kanaya Maryam
Dispatch Officer Vriska Serket / Marquise Spinneret of the Mindfang Pirates
Tavros Nitram / Mr Pupa
CuttlefisherCuller / Mayor's Aide Miss Feferi Peixes
The Karkat Gang: Karkat / Nepeta / Gamzee
The Weasel
Rose Lalonde
* The Magpie / Maggie
* Don Strider / CrowBro
* John Egbert / Egbertman

The three marked with * aren't completed yet. I was going to work on them today, but I had an accident and it delayed my ability to do anything for several hours. But once I finish the last pics, I'm going to commit a massive art and head-canon dump.

In the mean time, I'm gonna drop another chapter of the multi-part fic I've got going.
Teapot Mystery
Part 4 (Part 1, 2, 3)

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That evening, Sollux slept without having anyone crawl into bed with him and without his usual tormented dreams.

The following morning, he got up to find that his cabin mates were ready to go before he had even left bed. So, they decided to grab breakfast at a restaurant Feferi said was on the town square and was just GR--EAT!!.

It was a standard bar/restaurant that is present in most every small in the US, though Sollux himself had never been in a place like this before. Feferi walked in like she ate at the place every day of her life. They took a booth at the back of the main room that gave them a good view of the place and also through the front windows at the town square.

Feferi ordered for the three of them since Terezi was horrifically distracted by the delicious smells that assaulted her nose when they entered the place and Sollux lost himself in the menu. About half an hour later they got their meals. Sollux looked at his plate: scrambled eggs, sausage links, hashbrowns. Terezi positively flipped her shit when she received a stack of stuffed french toast and found that there was a cream cheese and cherry mixture inside them. Feferi smiled at the two cops as they tore into their meals before starting on her own dish of biscuits and gravy and an omelet.

Their love of the local cuisine seemed to have a calming effect on the locals who were watching them suspiciously. As they finished their meals, the waitress walked up to them and asked them if they needed anything. They didn't need anything, but Feferi spoke up.
"Thank you for the wonderful meals. I always love eating )(ere w)(en my family comes to t)(e cabin."
"Oh no problem dear. We're always happy to see your kin here. But..."
The woman glanced at Sollux who was sitting next to Feferi and at Terezi who was still in ecstasy over the cherry-stuffed french toast.
"umm, What brings you and you're friends into town?"
Feferi gave the woman a worried and concerned look and took her hands.
"We're )(ere to )(elp you all. Someone told the Alternia Mayor's office about somet)(ing going on )(ere and t)(at t)(e S)(eriff needed our )(elp."
The woman started to pull away, looking around in barely concealed terror.
"No please, don't! We want to )(elp! I want to )(elp!"
The waitress leaned in close to Feferi and whispered something into her gill-ears. Feferi's eyes narrowed and she quieted down. The three finished their meals, Feferi paid for the meal and they left the restaurant.

"What diid thhe say two you?"
"1t w4s 4 l34d w4sn't 1t?"
Feferi closed her eyes and hugged herself.
"No...s)(e said 'Save Yourselves'."
Feferi's eye teared up and Sollux pulled her in for a hug.
"S)(e was terrified Sollux! T)(ey aren't being rude to us. T)(ey want us to leave for our own safety!"
"Unfortunately, now II really want to fiind out what the fuck iith goiing on."

They walked across the square to the now-open General Store. Feferi lead the way inside and started to shop for supplies they actually needed up at the cabin. As she did so, Sollux and Terezi noted the behavior of everyone inside.

Terrified and scared now that they knew what to look for. Same suspicious glances.

When there was no one else left in the store, Feferi went up to buy the groceries and to talk with the store's owner.
"I know why you all here. You don't need to beg me for an answer Miss Peixes."
"W1ll you h3lp us th3n?"
"Didn't say that. But I will give you a hint."
"Leave town for our own thafety?"
The owner smiled grimly and shook his head.
"Well besides that, I think you're looking in the wrong area."

Terezi nudged Sollux and glared at him.
"S1r, wh4t 3ls3 h4s b33n go1ng on? B3s1d3s th3 d1s4pp34r4nc3s 4nd th3 murd3r of your Sh3r1ff 4nd h1s d3put13s?"
"Something's been stalking us."
"Wh4t?"
"No one quite knows. Every person I've heard tell gives a different description of what they saw."
The owner shifted uncomfortably and glance out his window. He seemed to be tense despite that there was nothing outside.
"But each person does agree on the same thing. What they saw was something they had dreamed about recently."
"Wh4t do you m34n s1r?"
"I'm saying that each person said they had dreamed about the thing they saw before they saw it following them around."
He finished sacking up the groceries and pushed them over to the three.
"I'm sorry, but that's all I'm going to say. I'm afraid I said too much."
They thanked him for his help anyways and left the store.

Back at the cabin, Terezi studied the map as Sollux and Feferi put away the groceries. Sollux could tell that Feferi was freaked out by the fear she saw in town. He put a hand on her shoulder and tried to reassure her, but she shook his hand off and kept putting away the supplies.
"Fef..."
"It's not)(ing Sollux, I'm fine."
"No you're not. You look liike you're about the fliip out or thomethiing."
Feferi suddenly stopped and slammed a can down on the counter top, causing Sollux to jump back. She gave him a glare and bared her many sharp teeth.
"W)(Y S)(OULDN'T I?! SOM-ET)(ING IS T)(R-EATENING T)(-ES-E P-EOPL-E!"
She stalked up to Sollux and looked up into his face. Her eyes were tearing up.
"Somet)(ing is scaring these people and t)(reatening t)(em and t)(ere's not)(ing I can do to )(elp t)(em..."
"Yeth there iith Fef. We're helpiing them. Even though they athked uth no two, we're thtiill goiing to fiind out what the fuck iith goiing on."
He wrapped his arms around the now crying sea troll and hugged her as she sobbed.
"We're goiing to thtop thiith and thave them. II promiithe that."

From the living room, Terezi started to giggle.
"Why don't you two just g3t 1t ov3r w1th 4nd t4k3 som3 t1m3 1n 4ppl3b3rry's room?"
They turned to look at the sarcastic woman who was giving them an incredibly dirty grin. The two trolls suddenly took a step back from each other and blushed. Terezi's eyebrows dropped with her smile.
"Clu3l3ss fools."

Feferi brushed her hair away from her face and went back to shelving the cans. Sollux went into the living room to find out what Terezi was studying.

"You know, you r34lly should just do 1t."
"Thhut the fuck up you nothey pthycho."
"H3H3H3H3H3"
"Why are you lookiing tho iintently at the map?"
Terezi flashed her shit-eating grin.
"Look1ng 4t? How c4n 1 look 4t 4nyth1ng Sollux?
1'M BL1ND!"
Terezi started to laugh again as Sollux glared at her.
"You know what the fuck II mean you loon."
"4lr1ght, 4lr1ght."

Terezi pulled the map over to herself and then noted the pins and their times.
"Why 3x4ctly d1d w3 ch3ck out th3 town?"
"Becauthe that'th where the thiircle converged. The later the tiime, the thiircle rethedeth back to town ath the perp maketh theiir way back to theiir hiidey-hole."
Terezi reached out with her cane and rapped Sollux on his forehead.
"You'r3 look1ng 4t 1t b4ckw4rds!"
She pointed at the town.
"4s th3 n1ght progr3ss3s, th3 p3rp g3ts clos3r to town. So th4t m34ns who3v3r or wh4t3v3r 1s st4lk1ng th3s3 p3opl3 1s h1d1ng som3wh3r3 up h3r3."
Her cane slapped down on the Teapot.

Sollux looked at the map and then up at Feferi who was finished in the kitchen, but stayed in there wiping away tears.
"Hey Fef, are there any platheth to hiide up near the Teapot?"
")(u)(? O)(...yea)(..."
Feferi came into the living room and indicated several areas near the pin closest to the Teapot.
"T)(ere's an entrance rig)(t )(ere in fact."

Terezi smiled and glanced at the other two.
"Gu3ss w3 found our t4rg3t for tomorrow."

While they readied themselves what lay ahead. Something stood outside the cabin and watched them through the open window.

When they all retired to their rooms it raised its hand and there was a purple glow.

[frostedWarlock]

"'And what did we learn today kids?'
'It is better to be feared than loved unless that lover is willing to commit to bucketsex as to please the imperial drone!'
'Very good!!'"

Fix'd

[Captain Lhurgoyf]

And now once again I submit my awful drawing skills.

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The idea here is something I borrowed from my plans for my own MSPAFA - it takes place after Homestuck, but features Bro because I would never have guessed he would have died. To compensate for that, I'm giving him a greater role in the adventure later on, in which he would assume a painfully obvious alter-ego: MC Radical! (See, in my fanon and the MSPAFA, Bro talks like an obnoxious 90s kid. Even though by the time of the adventure he's nearing his thirties.)

If we want to work this into this AU, we could have it so that Bro was presumed dead after the lion attacked him, but just slipped out of the limelight (if we're going to have Tavros keep him captive, he could have escaped or been released) and took up his own superhero persona. Whether or not he knows his brother and niece are also doing it is yet to be decided.

Also, I'm debating whether or not it should be pronounced "Radicale", as in Lil' Cal, and to make it sound "cooler".

[Iituem]

Watchers

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"Gog damn it, Nepeta! My wall looks like a gog-damned murder scene!"

Karkat waved a hand at the jam-streaked drawings in red, black and bluish-purple covering the wall. Some of the drawings were quite fresh. Fresh and sticky.

:33 > "Isn't it pr33tty? I'm almost purrfectly sure I've got it all right now."

"Seriously, what in gog's name were you thinking? Did you... did you actually use blueberry jam on this?! Aauugh! I swear, you have so much grubsauce rammed into your bone nook it's a wonder it doesn't explode, showering the room with a panoply of colours, flavours and tastes that, unbearable in their cheerfulness and variety as they might be WOULD STILL BE PREFERABLE TO WHAT YOU'VE SCRAWLED ALL OVER MY WALL!"

Nepeta just burst into giggling. Karkat didn't smile at the best of times, but inwardly the rage lessened just a bit. At least something was looking up. She hadn't laughed since-

:33 > "But look, I've even put gamz33 on with-"

Ah, shit.

Tears welled up in Nepeta's eyes and Karkat's own creased in frustration. Frustration at the bastard who'd got Gamzee. Frustration at Pupa for his constant mind-games, his puppetry, his little 'offers' that helped you out of a fix and put you even deeper in his web. Frustration at the gog-damned world.

( > "When... when will-"

"Two weeks, the doctor says. If the money comes through." The everpresent seething rage that creased Karkat's face tightened. "If that globe-sniffing nook-pumper Pupa keeps his word. Gog help him, he'd better given what we went through to get this."

Karkat turned the device over again in his hand. Smooth metal, with what looked like ports for leads on either side. Damned if he knew what it was. Damned if he cared.

In the corner, one of the endless supply of stray cats that wandered into and out of the apartment sat, licking her limbs and preening. She watched.



Gravy, biscuits, omelette! This was eating! Never mind the stuff you got elsewhere in Teapot, you could always count on this house for the best. The fly lapped up a little bit more of the leftover gravy, its compound eyes taking in the scene around it. The trolls seemed pretty worked up about something. They were pointing at a big map, sticking pins in it and gesturing wildly. The fishy one seemed very excited, taking any opportunity to hug the one with the weird glowing eyes.

Not that this was any of a fly's business. The fly was really more interested in the gravy. But when you're a fly, you see pretty much everything whether you want to or not. The fishy troll disengaged from her blushing companion and wandered over to the table. The fly flitted over to a different dish and worked on left-over omelette instead. The change, rationalised in the fly's mind as a desire to avoid being swatted, also put the fly in the perfect position to view the fishy troll put something in her handbag. It was smooth and metal, but beyond that the fly took no notice. It did not care - whatever it was, it was not gravy.



"Shit, it's the Magpie! Run!"

The men bustled in every direction, grabbing and carrying what crates they could as the winged figure swooped down, scything left, right and centre with her glowing blade. Screams cut through the night as she hunted down the criminals, then returned to the scene of their crime.

Drugs, mostly, stuffed into porkhollows of all things. Some laundered boondollars, a few almost certainly stolen items - but no sign of the device. Maggie cursed, scanning the area for witnesses and finding none. She vanished into the shadows.

Whilst not ironic, it was appropriate that a magpie should have witnessed the event. The magpie took off from its perch and glided across the city, settling near a small workshop where a short, dark figure passed a crate to a salamander in a crumpled white hat. The salamander cracked open the crate to examine; packing foam, and a thin smooth metal object. The crumpled hat-wearing salamander thrust a boonbond into the dark figure's hand and both scurried away before any secret wizards found them.



Everyone knew about the consorts. Well, everyone who knew such things - the vast majority of law enforcement didn't, but the sharper ones knew and the vigilantes at the very least suspected. Pupa didn't think he'd need a full hand to count the number that knew about the animals. He sat in his wheelchair, studying the model of the city before him with steepled hands as his mind roved through the innumerable beasts that inhabited it. It was perhaps ironic that he had so much better coverage in the city than the countryside - there were very many more animals here, even if most were pigeons and rats.

He felt her arrive. She was good, you could never hear her. You certainly could not see her, but he had come to sense the change in the air when she was present.

"Playing with your toys?" Ah, yes. A voice like silk, if you could spin silk from cold steel.

"jUST A VISUAL AID, MY DEAR, iN MANY WAYS, THIS GIVES ME AN UNRIVALLED VISION OF THE CITY,"

"Almost unrivalled."

"aLMOST, OF COURSE, hOW IS YOUR BEAU?" No reply. "a SORE SUBJECT, PERHAPS, bUT i FIND IN TIMES LIKE THESE THAT A LITTLE, uM, pERSPECTIVE IS NEEDED, fOR EXAMPLE, DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS A YOUNG GIRL IN,,, yES, sOFT sTREET, RIGHT NOW? sHE HAS FOUND A FRIEND, AN OLD FRIEND, hE HAS NOT BEEN TREATED KINDLY BY TIME, nOT SMART ENOUGH FOR THINKING WORK, BUT SO BIG EVEN HIS EMPLOYERS WOULD BE SCARED, sHE FINDS HIM ON THE STREET AND SHE HELPS HIM UP, sHE KNOWS A FRIEND, A FRIEND WHO DOESN'T ASK QUESTIONS BECAUSE HE ALREADY KNOWS THE ANSWERS, a FRIEND SHE DOESN'T LIKE TO SPEAK OF, sHE SENDS HER FRIEND, uMM, THAT IS THE FRIEND SHE HAS JUST FOUND, NOT THE FRIEND SHE IS SENDING HIM TO, TO HER FRIEND, THAT IS,,, wELL, YOU KNOW WHAT i MEAN, sHE ENSURES HER FRIENDS meet, WHICH IS THE IMPORTANT THING, AND FROM THAT MEETING HER FOUND FRIEND, aHA, fINDS SECURITY,

"a BEAUTIFUL TALE OF FRIENDSHIP AND SELF-SACRIFICE, NO? i SEE A FINE YOUNG WOMAN THERE, A WISE AND KIND-HEARTED YOUNG WOMAN,"

"A fool and a slave, you mean. A girl who hasn't grown up." The silken voice was cut with daggers. It spoke silently of the torments that would follow this line of conversation if pursued.

"a SLAVE? tO WHAT, i WONDER? pERHAPS A SLAVE TO TIME, bUT AREN'T WE ALL? aT LEAST, THOSE WHO DON'T TRY TO BE ITS MISTRESS, aT LEAST, THAT'S WHAT i SEE,"

There was a soft creak of leather from behind Pupa.

"All I see is a cripple, weak in body and weak in heart. A legless man who lives by fear and misdirection, who could be crushed in an instant by anyone who could see past his lies."

"nOW NOW, YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT MY LEGS-"

"Are useless. Oh yes they are, but not in the way you'd like people to think. You made such a big show about the failed operation, about the attempts at prosthetics that didn't work. And then Pupa appears on the scene, striding with his powerful robotic legs whilst his minions cause havoc throughout the city. Soon enough, rumours are floating about regarding the speed and strength of those legs, the feats that Pupa can accomplish with them. He's touted as having super-strength and agility with those legs, and a mastermind to go with them.

"But he doesn't, does he? The legs were a failure. Oh they could walk, just a bit, but that's all. So you appeared during some of the big heists, you made a show of walking back and forth whilst your minions did the work and then walked away. That's why you live in a wheelchair even in the comfort of your own mansion, your own lair. Not because you fear detection but because those legs just don't live up to the myth. The myth you spread, to lionise your own image. And it worked. You knew it would work because you showed everyone the patently false image of the invalid, the weak little cripple billionaire Tavros Nitram. Everyone knew it was a fake, that you were pulling the strings and that you were in no way the weak, scared cripple that you pretended to be.

"Except that this was the pretence. You are the cripple, Tavros Nitram, and Pupa is the lie. The legs don't work because it isn't your spine, Tavros, it's your brain, and only you and Professor Zahhak ever knew that - and he's hardly going to talk now, is he?" She allowed herself a quick burst of laughter. "The great Pupa, the source of the city, whose worst enemy is the humble stair! How many times did the professor warn you, Tavros? Did he tell you over and over, like the dog you are?"

"So what I see, Tavros, is the truth. A cripple and a coward, motivated only by fear."

A silence.

"nOT JUST FEAR, nOT JUST FEAR, hATE, AS YOU WELL KNOW, PLAYS ITS PART. There's nothing so strong as h8. eXCEPT, PERHAPS, UNREQUIETED LUST. hOW LONG HAVE YOU WAITED FOR HIM, NOW?"

The whip cracked. A thin object of smooth metal landed on the scale model of the city. Pupa's lip curved into a smile.

"tHANK YOU. aND i HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU, TOO."

He pressed a button on the wheelchair and a small compartment opened, revealing a scrap of cloth. You might have thought it was just some gaudy fabric, the part of a colourful Nigerian robe perhaps, if the colour did not alternate rapidly. Pupa set it on the table. There was another crack of the whip and it was gone.

"Where did you find it?"

"tHE OCEAN, FLOATING ON THE SURFACE, pULLED IN BY FISHERMEN, pERHAPS YOUR LOVER WILL MAKE SENSE OF IT, i MEAN, uM, THE OMNISCIENT ONE, nOT THE STABBING ONE, oR THE ONE YOU'RE WAITING FOR, aND YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING A LONG, LONG TIME, HAVEN'T YOU?"

Another pause.

"I have all the time in the world."

And then she was gone again.




Vriska became aware of voices. She removed her fingers from her temples and looked up.

"-for the fifth time already. Hey, are you alright?"

Her pupils sparkled, all eight of them. She grinned.

"Gr8. Just gr8."

Kind of felt that Tavros "The Pupa" Nitram as a mastermind needed both strengthening and weakening, all at once.

[crepuscularDissembler]

Wow. That was really good. It made sense in a canon way and in a more abstract storytelling way, that Pupa's legs would be part of the whole supervillain image he projects.

[Wigmund]

As I was drawing Equius and John/Egbertman, a horrible idea entered my head.

DOOF Hard

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It was the holidays in Alternia City. All through the town, people were getting ready for the festivities of Four Saints Day, a hyper commercialized callback of the Trolls' mating system before the destruction of their old breeding pits centuries ago, forcing the race to do it just like everyone else. Cards displaying the symbols of Saint Matias Prit, Saint Kisem Sys, Saint Moira Rile and Saint Austin Pace were in every shopping center in town along with stuffed Drone dolls that said a variety of redrom or blackrom related phrases when you pulled on its buckets. Schools were out for the week surrounding the holiday and many of the Glass City's premier firms were holding office Four Saints parties.

Most trolls have forgotten about the reason for the season, but Sergeant Equius Zahhak had not. His family had continued to cling to the old ways...or at least honor them since the true die-hards died out centuries ago when they couldn't breed. They embraced the four quadrants of the Saints of Old, they honored the blood system, they tried as much as possible to avoid interaction with low-bloods and other non-trolls and above all they longed for a day when the Majestic Empress would return.

However, the recent demise of most of the world's lusci due to an unexpected plague that originated from the very city they lorded over had emotionally and psychologically ruined the House of Zahhak. They had degenerated so far that one of their own was serving those foolish scum as a third-rate protector. Equius had tried to explain to his Genetic Donors that this was a truly noble profession. But they only rebuffed him and almost cast him out of the family. He would have been if his slurry-mate, formally one of the greatest cyberneticians in the world, had not been brutally murdered.

Reflecting on this, Equius drove his patrol car through the Glass City, making sure that none of the gutter-scum deigned to rudely interrupt the frivolities of their betters. Despite having a rank that meant he could have just sat in APD HQ and ordered some other officer to do this patrol, Equius loved to do the Glass City patrol. He actually loved to see the wonders that Trolls of all types, Humans, the Carapaces and even the Consorts could build when they worked together for the greater good.

Thinking such lewd thoughts also made him sweat. It was so decadent and betrayed his family's core beliefs.

"Y0u're sweating again, aren't y0u?"
Equius looked out the corner of his broken shades at his partner, the soulbot Aradia Megido. Together they made up the core of the Alternia City Police Department's Division Of Overwhelming Force or DOOF for short. She had been the former squad partner of Officer Sollux Captor and it was widely believed that they were starting to form a romantic relationship, but then there was a horrific accident that left Officer Megido in a permanent coma. No amount of ectotechnology was able to break the sleep, so Officer Zahhak suggested that his brother build a cyberorganic shell for the incapacitated officer and they extract her soul into it. The operation was a success...in a way...her soulbot awoke with all the memories that Officer Megido had up to the accident, but none of her exuberant and joyful personality. Officer Captor refused to work with her, so he was assigned to work with the loose cannon Officer Terezi Pyrope and Officer Aradia Megido was assigned to work with Sergeant Zahhak in DOOF.
"D--> It's the air controls of this ground vehicle, it's always too hot in here for me."
"S0 it has n0thing with y0u thinking ab0ut s0mething decadent again?"
"D--> Of course not. I am a e%emplar of moral unrighteousness and STRENGTH in this city of f001s and low-b100ds."
Aradia just gave him her usual 0_0 look and then went back to using the technology built into her shell to scan for any disturbances in the area. Equius continued to watch her on the sly, while trying to keep the patrol car on the road. He found her fascinating. He always had, but she had been a low-blood before her accident and that was not a line the high-blooded Zahhak would cross. But her new form had been constructed and filled with blood fit for even the House of Makara. She may have despised him for being a typical member of the high Houses when she was truly alive, but she had developed feelings for her partner since her conversion. It may have been something under the graces of Saint Sys instead of the graces of Saint Prit that Equius found himself dealing with, but he tried to make it work.

It was an interesting relationship.

As they neared the corporate headquarters of the Nakdoofenpap Corporation, Aradia's eyes lit up as she received a message from HQ. Apparently there was a disturbance report at the building and they wanted someone nearby to go check it out. Equius had Aradia confirm the request and to relay that they were responding to it as they pulled up to the front of the building.

Equius got out of the car and carefully rapped on the reinforced frame of the locked glass doors. It didn't even dent. He was rather surprised, but many of the corporate headquarters had been reinforced due to the prevalence of super gangs and the MANGRIT infused in the city.

A man at the security station jerked to attention, buzzed open the doorway and motioned the APD officer inside.

Equius walked up to the security officer and rested his arms upon the massive console lined with security monitors. Equius glanced down to see that there was a Four Saints party going on somewhere up above them.
"D--> We received a report that there was a disturbance here.
D--> Is everything alright?"
The security officer adjusted the ill-fitting collar of his uniform and smiled at Zahhak.
"No sir, everything's fine here. Maybe there was a spark in our alarm system that alerted you guys at the APD. Sorry about that, I'll tell the tech guys to make sure their shit works."
Equius nodded at the guard and started to make his way back to his patrol car.
"D--> Well then, I apologize for my intruscion and I wish you a joyous Four Saints Day."
Equius made it out the door when he noticed that his partner had rolled down the window and was looking straight up. He turned to follow her gaze and noticed something odd up towards the roof of the tower.

Several windows were broken out and it looked like some drapes where dangling from them.

He looked at the ground around the car and only then noticed the glass scattered on the ground. He was so used to crunching sounds under his feet that he had not noticed the debris.

"D--> What do you make of it Officer Megido?"
"0bvi0usly s0mething is g0ing 0n here."

Equius turned around to return to the security station when he saw three individuals in the lobby pointing what appeared to be a high-end rocket launcher at him and his patrol car.

Equius barely managed to dodge out of the way as the rocket smashed through the glass door, carried the patrol car across the driveway that looped in front of the skyscraper and exploded spectacularly. He got up and raced to the car to check on his squad mate.

His concern was abated when she pried her way from the twisted wreckage, her uniform mostly burned off revealing the exquisite workmanship Equius' slurry mate had put into the construction of her form. So life-like.

Equius then turned around and started to charge the three who tried to harm both himself and Officer Megido. But as he ran towards the doorway, the shutters were activated and it sealed up. Equius braced himself and ran onwards, only to bounce off of the reinforced metal, barely leaving a dent at full charge.

He looked up the tower's side and saw that the windows too were shuttering up. Whoever had attacked them had activated the tower's defenses.

"D--> Officer Megido."
"Yes sir?"
"D--> Fly me up to the roof top and then set up surveillance on one of the nearby towers."
"I'm 0kay with that. D0 y0u wish me t0 c0ntact HQ and tell them 0f the circumstances."
"D--> After you drop me off up there."

Aradia grabbed the burly Sergeant and flew up into the air using the psionic powers that she possessed in life. She dropped him off at what appeared to be a hovervehicle platform and then departed to the nearest tower which was over a block away. The green space surrounding this building was going to make it difficult for the APD to approach Equius thought.

Good thing their best officer was already here.

He took off his uniform top so that he was wearing the black, tight tank top he favored so much and set off to find a way into the tower.

He tried the main doors. Dammit, sealed as well. He couldn't break through.

This embarrassed him. He was the STRONGEST officer of the APD and he was hindered by some corporation's metal grating.

That embarrassment was only compounded when he heard someone land on the roof top behind him.

"Need some help officer?"
Equius turned around to view that one of the city's more consistent heroes, Egbertman had arrived. Just great.
"D--> This is a matter for the Alternia City Police Department and the Division Of Overwhelming Force.
D--> We do not require the assistance of a vigilante every time we face difficulties."
Egbertman shrugged his shoulders, causing the reinforced warhammer he rested upon them to shift.
"Looks like you're having trouble opening that door. I saw the blast below and decided to see what was going on.
When I got closer, I then noticed that robot chick that dropping you off up here."
"D--> That 'robot chick' you refer too is Officer Aradia Megido.
D--> Please do not debase her by forgetting that."
"Sorry about that. Anyways, you need help opening that door?"
Equius frowned at the vigilante.
"D--> If I cannot open this doorway with my considerable STRENGTH, then I doubt that you can."
"I don't plan on opening it..."
Egbertman walked up to the doorway, idly swinging his hammer in both hands.
"I plan on smashing it down!"
He swung the hammer with all his might and hit the door.

And dented it.

He looked at the door in amazement.
"Well shit. That doesn't happen often."
"D--> I believe we must find another way into the tower.
D--> We have to figure out what's going on in there and who these people are that attacked my partner and myself."
"I guess there might be an air vent somewhere up here. We can crawl in through that.
They couldn't have sealed off the place completely without leaving some breathing holes for themselves."
"D--> This is so disgusting, entering a building in the manner of common criminals.
D--> It makes me sweat just thinking about it."
"I see...and smell...
Well, it'll make it easier for you to squirm through the pipes with your huge frame."
Equius sneered at the smaller Egbertman. He hated this, working with a vigilante and having to sneak inside. So degrading. So debasing. So decadent.

They searched for awhile before Equius found what they were looking for. He called over the vigilante and together they managed to pry loose the vent's cover. Equius looked down into the vent.

It went straight down what looked like the entire height of the building. Great. They'd have to work their way back up to reach the front security desk, let alone the office party. He could take the fall, he could take whatever was thrown at him, he just realized that this was going to take the entire night and he had wanted to try to spend some time with his partner on Four Saints Day.

"D--> Are you ready Egbertman?"
The hero clipped his hammer and tucked in away so that he could easily climb through the vents.
"Yippiee-ki-yay motherfucker."

Equius clambered into the pipe and let himself fall down into the darkness. As he did so he muttered to himself.
"D--> Such crude language..."

A/N:

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Yes, this is going to be a knock-off of Die Hard starring both Equius Zahhak and Egbertman as John McClane with Aradia Megido taking up the role of Sgt Powell.

I have no idea yet who the gang inside is going to be, but I know it's not one of the city's usual ones. Maybe it's just going to be a random terrorist group most likely that's gotten ahold of some of the heavy duty weaponry floating around the city. I don't know, but I do know I'm going to figure out a way to get an Alan Rickman-like guy leading them. Yay Alan Rickman.

I wanted to do more with this chapter, but I found that the details about the holiday, Equius' family history, a bit on Aradia's background, why the trolls breed like humans and why the lusci are more-or-less gone took up quite a bit of space. I'm going to splurge on that at a later date when I'm done with the pics I've drawn. Maybe it didn't belong here, but it's stuff that Equius was probably thinking about while the scene was set. Also, it's well past 1am where I am and I couldn't sleep with this damn idea running around my head.

[gingerale]

Hee! Loving the Teapot mystery.

And these other fics are so much fun to read too. ^^

[Redikalus]

More good fics all around. Keep writing you guys!

So I was thinking about Pupa and it struck me that he is creating his own worst enemy in Karkat. Karkat clearly hates Pupa for all the shit he puts Karkat and his friends through, but views it as a necessary evil as he and his friends need the aid that Pupa gives them. And Karkat would never betray Pupa or Pupa would have his friends killed. Buuuut... If Nepeta or Gamzee ever did die, or atleast have the appearance of dying, whether it was from Pupa or someone else, something tells me Karkat would come down on Pupa hard. He's not letting them live because they are useful, he has to keep them alive or Karkat will try to kill him. If anyone ever realized this exploit, a plan to bring down Pupa could be created. This would also explain why Pupa is keeping them from contacting the outside world.

Of course this could all just be my head canon messing with me, but I wonder what you guys think?

[Wigmund]

Teapot Mystery
Part 5 (Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4)

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In the morning, Sollux woke up to the sounds of Terezi yelling and crashing around the cabin. He groggily got up and walked into the living room where he found his partner running in and out of the bedroom she and Feferi shared.

"What'th the deal? Why are you thmathhing thhiit?"
Terezi stopped and looked at Sollux in shock.
"1t's F3f3r1. Sh3's not h3r3. Sh3 got up l4st n1ght 4nd 1 c4n't f1nd h3r 4nywh3r3!"
Sollux froze.
"What. What do you mean thhe'th? Fef iith miithhiing?"
"Of cours3 you th1ck-h34d3d tw1t! Sh3 just got up 4nd l3ft."
Terezi collapsed onto the couch and cradled her face in her hands. Teal tears were streaming down her face, staining her white tank top.
"1 should h4v3 gott3n up! 1 should h4v3 4sk3d h3r wh4t sh3 w4s do1ng wh3n sh3 d1dn't h34d for th3 b4throom..."
Terezi sobbed heavily and then gave a very weak laugh.
"1 gu3ss 1 thought sh3 w4s go1ng to p4y you 4 v1s1t."

Sollux walked over to Terezi and embraced her as she cried onto his bare shoulder. He didn't know what to say.

Feferi missing? Was it something he did? Was it because she's upset about the townsfolk? Was it their murderer trying to send them a message?

That had to be it. Feferi wasn't that foolish to just run off by herself. Something foul had happened.

His grip around Terezi tightened involuntarily as rage filled him. She gasped...and then started to giggle.

"What?! What'th tho funny?"
"4ll you'r3 w34r1ng 1s box3r shorts..."
"Tho? Why'th that tho iimportant riight now? Feferii iith miithhiing and probably in terriible danger!"
"1 know 4ppl3b3rry...1t's just th4t..."
Sollux pulled back from Terezi and glared at her, he had left his shades next to his bed in the confusion, so she got full blast of his red and blue eyes focusing on her in anger.
"Jutht thpiit iit out gog fuckiing dammiit!"
"Your w34pon 1sn't conc34l3d r1ght now."
Sollux looked down, blushed, grabbed a pillow and covered himself.
"II...II..."
He backed up towards his bedroom as Terezi rolled on the couch laughing herself breathless, glowing a vibrant teal.

After taking a quick shower and getting dressed, he returned to the living room to find that Terezi had done the same. They both had decided to wear their body armor now. They were going to need it when they went into the Teapot Caves.

And with that, they headed off.



Sollux ended up flying to the caves, carrying Terezi on his back. Quicker that way, especially since there were no roads leading to the caves. He landed in the area that the pin marking the disappearance closest to their destination was and looked around.

He was surprised that the caves were right in front of them. Terezi stood next to him and gazed into the darkness, breathing heavily as she tried to take in everything she could.

"1t sm3lls l1k3 d34th h3r3."
"II thmell that mythelf."
"1 sm3ll gr4p3s 4s w3ll. Th3 sc3n't fr3sh so F3f3r1 must h4v3 p4ss3d by r3c3ntly. Do3sn't sm3ll l1k3 h3r blood, so sh3's 4l1v3."
"For now..."
Terezi smacked the sullen troll in the head with her cane.
"Don't you fuck1ng s4y th4t! W3'll f1nd h3r Sollux 4nd w3'll solv3 th1s c4s3!"
With that, she walked into the cave. Sollux sighed and followed her into the darkness.

He was surprised by how dark it was in here. Trolls, being descended from cave-dwellers, had excellent vision in darkness...but the shadows were so thick, Sollux had to create a glow using his powers. Terezi was affected by the caves as well, by the overpowering stench of death.

She reached out and grabbed Sollux's arm and let him lead her onwards. She had been so dependent on her smell, that she didn't trust her cane to tell her what was at her feet.

"How f4r down do th3s3 c4v3s go? 1 c4n't t3ll, 4ll 1 sm3ll 1s bl4ck l1cor1c3. 1 c4n sm3ll oth3r th1ngs, but th3 l1cor1c3 m4k3s my nos3 hurt."
"Feferii thaiid thethe caveth weren't that deep, but nobody liiked comiing here tho they were never really ecthplored very well."

Down into the earth the two trekked, shadows wrapping around the sphere of light Sollux had created almost as if they wanted to get ahold of the cops.

Eventually, they reached a fork in the cave. Sollux tried to look down the branches, but couldn't make anything out beyond the light's glow. Terezi took a deep breath and her grip on his arm tightened.

"Wh1ch way Tthhii?"
"1 c4n sm3ll th3 s4m3 th1ngs from both p4ths. 1 c4n sm3ll d34th, F3f3r1 4nd som3th1ng 3ls3 both w4ys."
She cocked an eyebrow in confusion.
"What?"
"Th4t oth3r sm3ll...1'v3 sm3ll3d 1t b3for3...but 1 c4n't pl4c3 1t."
"Tho...thhould we both go down the thame path or thpliit up?"
Terezi's manic grin returned and she reached into her pockets and retrieved a flare.
"Of cours3 w3 should spl1t up."
"What'th wiith the flare?"
Terezi glanced around nervously as she activated it.
"1 don't trust th3 sh4dows h3r3. Som3th1ng's wrong w1th th3m."

Sollux looked around them and finally noticed the same thing. The shadows positively creeped around them, occassionally trying to reach into the glow from his light and her flare before suddenly retracting in a puff of acrid smoke.

"That'th really fuckiing creepy."
"1 know."

Sollux gave Terezi a quick hug and they split up, each heading down their own pathways.

It was long and dark. The smells of death assaulted Sollux's nose, he couldn't imagine how badly Terezi was affected. But she was strong and could make it.



Down the other corrider, Terezi slowly made her way down into the darkness. Her sense of smell was almost completely clouded by death, but she could just barely make out her immediate surroundings. She kept her flare raised in one hand and swept the ground in front of her using her cane with her other. Normally, she would have been just fine with the cane and her nose...but these shadows...she could smell that something was wrong with them. It had to be magic of some sort. Something bad was ahead, she didn't know what.

She just hoped that Feferi and Sollux were safe.

As she rounded a corner, the smells suddenly changed. She could perceive the world around her much more clearly now. Too clearly.

She was back in Alternia City, in her uniform on a foot patrol through what smelled like Old Town. She took a deep breath, smiled and continued her patrol.

As she walked the beat, she heard a noise behind her. She didn't spin around because she knew who it was.

Dave...the real one...her David Cadell Strider.

She felt it as he walked up behind her and wrapped his lean, muscular arms around her. How she longed for this. Just them, together. Nothing else to both them.

He turned her around and looked down into her glasses, smiling that ironic smirk she loved so much.

"Well, well. What's a beautiful troll like you doing in this fucking shit hole? You have to be careful around here, never know when perverted sicko could leap out of an alleyway and try to sell you strange literature."
"1 b3l13v3 th4t's not som3th1ng 1 n33d to worry 4bout. But 1 should b3 worr13d 4bout oth3r s1ckos."
His smirk widened into a smile, mirroring the one she wore.
"Now what kind of fucking troll-loving fetishists could you ever be talking about? I'm sickened that there's something worse here."
Terezi giggled and reached up to his shades, removing them so she could smell his wonderful, beautiful cherry red eyes. He brushed back some of her hair that had spilled into her when he grabbed her.

They leaned in and kissed. Terezi pressed herself into Dave. He pressed into her.

And it was wonderful.



Elsewhere, Sollux found himself trudging through the darkness. Stone and dirt crunching under his mismatched shoes. He never knew why he always ended up with mismatched shoes, it just happened. He could leave a matched pair as the only available shoes to wear and when he puts them on, he'd always find that one wasn't like the other. Frustrated his superiors to no end until he showed them the phenomenon at work with a pair of shoes provided from the uniform room.

That shut them up quickly.

Sollux smiled at the memories of their shocked faces as he rounded a corner in the caves.

Then he stopped when the noise under his feet changed. It was no longer stone and dirt, but something softer...grass.

He saw that it was light outside as he walked through a beautiful flower filled garden. Irises, violets, daffodils, lilies, morning glories and dozens of other varieties bloomed around him filling the air with beautiful smells.

He followed the path that wound its way through the garden, he reached up to a fully-bloomed iris and picked it.

Mother would love this, he tucked it into the pocket of his coveralls and raced ahead, sticking his arms out to his sides as if he was flying.

He rounded a bend and found the woman he was looking for. She was an older, yet still beautiful, troll. Bearing a large number of children had left their weight upon her, yet still her younger self was apparent underneath. Age had not taken its toll upon her, it had enhanced her.

Young Sollux ran up to her and presented her the flower.
"Mama! Mama! Look at thiith iiriith! IIt'th tho beautiiful!"
"II 2ee my liittle bee. IIt'2 wonderful."
She took the bloom away from her beaming little boy and smiled at him, he giggled and hugged her. He loved his mother, he was going to keep care of her forever.

Mrs. Captor stood up and brushed the dirt from the folds of her dress. She looked down at her son and took his hand.

"Diid you fiind your liittle friiend Honeybee? 2he wa2 2o exciited to come vii2iit u2."
"Thhe iith here? II diidn't know that Mama!"

Mama smiled and lead him deeper into the gardens. They entered a clearing and he saw his little friend. She was looking intently at a patch of violets and irises that were the same color as her large gorgeous eyes. As the two Captors approached, she turned around and clapped, squeeling loudly as she charged towards the boy she liked so much.

"Sollux t)(ere you are you silly fis)(!"

A/N:

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Weird shit be going down.

I think there should be two more chapters and I'll be finished with the Teapot Mystery.

And yes, Mama Captor's nickname for her youngest son is Honeybee. Deal with it.

[DeadBrain]

@ Wigmund: Hmm...Some sort of Louts-Eater-Machine? Still, loving it and looking forward to more!

Also, anyone thought to post this, and other fics on this thread on AO3?

[gingerale]

Noooo, Sollux and Terezi! Snap out of it! ;_;

[KOACD]

Hello you cool kids.
Wigmund u r doing a gr8 job on wrting dos fics.

Surprise Ending

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There was a loud creaking sound in the hull of the ship as more cargo was loaded on.
When the appropriate amount of hostages and all of the supplies on the other ship was loaded onto the Mindfang Pirate ship, the Water Cage, the other ship was shot and sunken.
The new first mate, a fellow of little to no importance, leaned back against the side of the cannon, stretching and pleased. Marquise would be there shortly to negotiate with the mayor of Alternia City.
He knew she wouldn't be there for a couple of hours at least, and the rest of the severely depleted crew was in the hull, securing the cargo, so he donned the captains hat and started to fight off invisible rival pirates.
Some boots thudded behind him, making him jump and rip the hat from his head.

"Captain! I--" He started to say as he turned around.

Another first mate was lost that day. This detail is hardly worth mentioning. They've been dropping like flies for the past couple days.

CrowBro sheathed his katana, and started to head down into the hull. The ship was as dark as one would be expected to be, and smelled of sea salt and cheap alcohol, much like the inhabitants of it.

The Water Cage was a very large ship, and very hard to navigate. None of the pirates felt it was very important to clean up, so miscellaneous items and weapons were strewn throughout the narrow passageways, making it harder to navigate and fight, if pirates did appear. He made it to the hull in a few minutes, already a bit w I suddenly don't feel like writing this anymore, so yeah.

[Iituem]

Playing the Game

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Shoosh Nakdoofenpap swung the club with practised care. The head connected, and the ball rolled neatly into the little pocket.

"And that makes eighteen."

Shoosh allowed himself a small chuckle at the achievement, which to a crocodile consort came out as a sort of muffled 'naknaknak'. He had been practising the swing for weeks, after all. Shoosh slid the club into the bag and strode across to the other side of the penthouse suite, taking care to look through the floor-to-ceiling windows at the bustle of the city below. Bullet and impact proof, of course; a consort in Shoosh's position couldn't afford slips in judgement.

Shoosh's gaze lingered briefly on a spot at the far end of the city in Alternia Heights; a mansion on a hill by the cliffs. He wondered if its inhabitant was watching him back. Shoosh took a small inhaler from his pocket and took a puff, then continued on to the vast table at the end of the room.

The table bore a scale-model replica of the city, almost an exact copy of the one in Tavros Nitram's office but in glass and silver. Thin golden boundaries demarcated the various districts of the city, some official, others not. Glass and silver (and in some cases glass and gold) figurines dotted the board in different places, some studded with gemstones. Shoosh admitted that the game of one-upmanship was perhaps a little petty, especially when neither of them had ever seen the other's board, but he knew his opponent's mind well enough to know how he would approach the situation.

Shoosh picked up the small grey folder and, golden spectacles on his snout, studied the reports. Here and there he shifted a piece, replaced one with another from the box or simply removed it entirely. There was of course no piece for Mr Pupa, just as Shoosh was certain there was no piece of him on Pupa's board; you didn't need a piece for a player. Shoosh gave a particularly long, hard stare at the proliferation of statues of small, robe-wearing salamanders across the city. When he was satisfied that he had approximated the state of the city he placed the folder into a drawer and removed three slim, metal objects. He sat for a while, pondering the devices until the wireless intercom on the drinks cabinet made an unobtrusive beep. Shoosh put the metal devices back in the desk.

"Yes, Geera?"

"Your two o'clock is here to see you, Chairman," came the feminine voice of a salamander.

"Very good, send him in."

Chairman. An honorarium, really, Shoosh had not bothered to act as chairman in years. The official title was Chairman Emeritus and the official story that he had retired for reasons of health. The truth was that he simply no longer needed to attend; he owned the corporation. More accurately, he owned the shareholders that owned the corporation. Every one of the stuffed suits on the board was a representative from some trust or company that had their finger in a slice of the Nakdoofenpap pie - but Chairman Shoosh owned the companies.

The door slid open and a tall, stiffly dressed crocodile in a sharp black suit stepped in. A minute buzzing sound entered with him.

To his credit, the croc had his gun and knife drawn exactly the moment Shoosh did. To his even greater credit, he recognised that Shoosh's weapon was no threat to him before he could fire.

Crack!

Behind the newcomer, the remains of a fly wriggled beneath a ball of paint. Shoosh slid the gun into a drawer.

"Bugs," he said. "Espionage is always a threat in business."

"Think you have the wrong kind of bug, guv," said the sharply-dressed croc, putting away his weaopn. "Ever hear of swatters?"

"I prefer them not to even get that far, Nak. The ventilation system here is filtered to the point a dust mite couldn't even get through. The office you just walked through is almost like an air-lock, keeping the outside separate from the inside." Shoosh took another puff from his inhaler. Nak scowled at it.

"Your sally outside made me snuff one of those. Tastes like the bad kind of cough medicine. I told her I didn't have no allergies, but the dumb bitch wouldn't let me through without."

"It's not so much for your allergies as for mine." Shoosh allowed himself a whisper of a smile. "Not even an allergy. The compound is the result of years of work and whole boonbanks in investment. It doesn't prevent allergies, more... influence. Perhaps one day it might be ready for widespread adoption, too."

"Right." Nak the Knife didn't seem impressed by the posturing. "You wanted me for a job?"

"Of course. I need you to pay a visit to the city hospital."

"Need someone's treatment to fail?"

"Oh, quite the opposite. There's a bunch of flowers on the table behind you. I need you to smuggle them in past the metal detectors and put them in ward-" Nak paused for thought. "22, bed C. It's a private room."

Nak checked his watch, a gleaming fake affair in real gold.

"How long do I have to clear off, guv?"

"As long as you want, it's not a bomb. Just try to do it before her visitors arrive at, oh, five? Five, yes. Your payment, diamonds as usual, will be waiting at a hot dog stand in ground level glass city. You know the one."

Nak's snout wrinkled slightly in revulsion.

"Hella Jeff's? They put jelly on the dogs there. Seriously, guv, how high do they have to be to eat that shit?"

"I understand it's popular amongst the salamanders. Particularly the secret wizards. In any case, I'm sure you have business to attend to."

Nak rolled his eyes, picked up the flowers and left. When he had gone, Shoosh strolled back to the table and picked up one of the pieces on the table. Unlike most of the others, this one was made out of cast iron. He carefully set it back down on the police department and then knocked it over. Shoosh retrieved another piece in flawless crystal and set it in place by the hospital instead. Garnet gleamed from its chest.

A/N:

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Goodness, that was a surprise ending. Watching the teapot mystery intently.

[frostedWarlock]

A location that's appeared at least twice in the dA RP, On The Clockwork Golden is both a clock tower and a five-star resteraunt, frequented by the Strider Mafia and the Midnight Crew.

[Redikalus]

@Wigmund: Teapot is getting tense! Can't wait to see what happens next!
@KOACD: It looked like it was going somewhere interesting. I also found the suddenness of the ending humorous.
@Iituem: Nice to see the Nakdoofenpap family getting some attention, interesting to see where their place in the world is.
@frostedWarlock: Nice picture, it sounds like the Clockwork Golden is an interesting place.

I wrote a thing:

A Reason to Fight

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A young troll named Equius Zahhak sat in nice looking but uncomfortable chair. His father stood off to the side looked away from him, a silent sign of disappointment and displeasure. His mother paced before him for a few seconds before stopping and addressing him.
Equius, what are we going to do about you.
His father remained silent. He always remained silent in these kinds of situations.
Another fight, and this time the other boy is in the hospital.
Equius began to sweat. He himself barely had a bruise on him.
D--> I did not mean to hurt him like that, just make him sorry for what he said about-
Before he finished, his mother slapped him.
I do not care about what the low-b100d said, violence is unbefitting of our noble b100-b100ds, even if it is against those lesser creatures.
She sighed, put her hands in her face, and then said with a sob,
Why couldn’t you be more like your brother? Go to your room, you are not to leave until I call for you.
As his father lead his mother off, Equius slid out of the chair and solemnly obeyed his mother. His room was on the lowest floor of their house, and had been ever since his brother earned Equius’ old room. After he marched downstairs and closed his door, he plopped down on his bed and did nothing. After half an hour of silence, he heard footsteps creep down the steps to his room. When they reached the bottom, his door slid open silently and his younger brother entered the room. As his brother closed his door just as silently as it was opened, Equius objected.
D--> You shouldn’t be here, you will get in trouble as well.
I know, but I wanted to show you what I had made!
His brother crept over and placed his cupped hands on Equius’ bed. He unclasped them to reveal a small horse. It was fully automatic and as it did a lap around his bed, Equius smiled.
See, I knew you’d like it!
Equius himself had some talent with building things like this but he was but a dabbler in comparison to his brother’s genius. His brother had a genius truly befitting his noble blood, but was weak and Equius saw it as his duty to protect him. Equius loved his brother more than anyone else.

*****

Equius stared down at his brand new officer’s cap. He had worked for this for years. He had made the decision when the Makaras had been brutally murdered. They had come across the scene during one of their weekly walks and Equius tried to shield his brother from the sight as best he could but his brother caught glimpses. He wept all the way back to their house, Equius didn’t shed a single tear; his brother had always been much more companionate than Equius. What struck Equius was that there was a police officer killed along side them, not strong enough to protect them. It was then that Equius had found purpose for his mutant STRENGTH. He could protect anyone, just as he protected his brother. He fought his parents for months over this, they even threatened to disown him; they felt serving the lesser populace like this was beneath someone of his noble blood.
He put on his cap and looked around at the other new officers. As he did, he began to sweat; he was getting nasty looks from just about everyone. His family was quite well known, especially for behavior towards others. It was natural for the low-bloods and humans to envy his family’s status, but he sweat under the malicious gazes of his peers non-the-less.
He would soon prove to them that his confidence and superiority was well placed.

*****

Years later, Equius had been promoted to the rank of Sergeant. His brother was now a leading doctor in the field of cybernetic surgery, a position befitting his talent, his nobility, and most of all, his compassion.
Equius was finishing up some paperwork at a desk reserved for on-duty sergeants. It was his turn to do some desk work and though he enjoyed the opportunity to give out commands, something was bothering him now. Something made him uneasy. As he finished the current document he saw some officers rush out, as if they were on an important case.
That’s odd, they were on his precinct and he hadn’t heard anything about a major crime happening. He tried to call out to them, but they didn’t hear him. His uneasiness grew. He walked over to the other sergeant, a brown-blooded troll.
D--> What was that about?
Uh… nothing important.
Equius watched as the sergeant began to sweat.
D--> I just want to know in case I have to do more paper work, those were men on my precinct.
Nothing, I can handle all the paperwork, you just go back to you station… please?
The sergeant was now sweating profusely, almost as much as Equius did on occasion. Equius could now tell something was being hidden from him. He reached over the table and grabbed the sergeant by his uniform and lifted him over the desk.
D--> You are hiding something form me. What is it!?
As he did this, his newly made partner, Aradia Megido, came in the room. One look at the situation and she used her powers to throw Equius against wall.
D--> What is the meaning of this!?
d0 n0t attack 0ther 0fficers zahhak
y0u were taken 0ff the case by the captain
D--> Why!?
After a brief pause as Aradia considered the situation, she gave him the answer he feared.
because it is ab0ut y0ur br0ther
The shock struck him like a train, but it didn’t stop his instincts from taking over. He got up and turned to run towards the door. Aradia, predicting this made it to the door first and blocked his way. Equius charged towards the door.
D--> Out of my way!
When Aradia didn’t move, Equius threw her aside with all of his might, slamming her through the nearby wall. Her robotic shell meant that she would survive, but Equius didn’t care about that. He ran to the street and looked around. Where was his brother supposed to be last? Nitram! That’s right, his brother was helping the young Nitram boy with his new pair of legs. Equius took off in that direction, listening for sirens with every pounding step he made.
As he barreled down the street, he heard sirens from the direction he was headed and quickened his pace. As he drew closer to the source he realized something; this wasn’t just on his precinct, this was on his route, his protectorate, and he had been stuck on desk duty the whole day. He turned the next corner and saw the flashing blue and red lights. There were three cars there already and someone had put up the police line tape. He ran over and when the other officers saw him they jumped out of the way. He wasn’t supposed to be here but they were too afraid of him to get in his way. The scene that Equius came upon bathed him in horror. Blue blood was everywhere; the streets, the walkways, the walls, and with the blood, words had been spelt out. Words like Spy, Death, Snitch, Weak, Victim, Enemy, and countless others were spelt out in a macarbre mess of blue gore. The body was disfigured to the point where the only thing that showed him that this was indeed his brother were the small mechanical trinkets running around in the pool of his blood. As he watched a small horse walked over and bumped into his ankle, falling over and spilling more blood on the payment before him. Equius’ howl carried as far as the Narrows.


*****

After demanding, Equius had been put back on the case, most likely because everyone, superior officers included, were terrified of the fit of rage he was in. His rage carried him through five nights and five days of investigation without rest. At dusk on the sixth night, with no leads, no evidence, no suspects, his partner forced him to stop. When he was walking out of station, Aradia came up and blocked the door.
D--> Out of my way Megido, that’s an order.
n0. im a r0b0t s0 i can handle all this time with n0 sleep.
y0u cann0t.
D--> I can and I will! Out of my way!
Aradia placed her hand on his chest and gave him a hard shove. Equius stumbled back and toppled over onto another, unlucky officer.
the fact that i was able to push y0u 0ver s0 easily sh0ws that y0u are in n0 c0nditi0n t0 c0ntinue investigati0n.
D--> I’m fine!
Truth be told, he was absolutely exhausted, but he wasn’t going to let that stop him. As he struggled to get up, Aradia walked over.
there is n0thing y0u can d0 anym0re.
D--> Yes there is!
Aradia offered a hand to Equius. After giving her a quick glare, he accepted it and let her pull him up.
im s0rry equius, i never knew y0u cared s0 much, but it is 0ver.
get s0me rest, that is an 0rder straight fr0m the captain.
Aradia turned around and left, leaving Equius standing in the middle of the room with every other cop in the place staring at him. He removed his hat, hung his head in shame, and slowly marched out of the station. No one would dare admit it later, but every cop in the room caught a glimpse of light blue tears streaming down his face.

*****

It was a year later and Equius was sitting in his office at the station. He had his elbows on the table and his hands clasped together just below his nose. He dislike this room because someone of his rank should not have such a room, because others used his office as a storage place due to him never using, and because it reminded him that every time he was stuck here, it was less time for him to be out on the streets stopping crime. The only reason he was in her was because AR himself wished to speak with him. Equius knew why AR came, and it made him irritated. It was pointless, he would get the same answer every time.
The door swung open and AR walked in. He was carrying a manila folder in one arm.
“Sergeant Zahhak, our star officer, it seems I have some good news for you.”
Equius said nothing as AR placed the folder on his desk and sat down in the chair opposite of him and smiled. AR liked Equius for his dedication and prowress, though his anger problem could get in the way sometimes.
“You have been approved for promotion to Lieutenant rank!”
AR turned the folder to face Equius and flipped it open. Inside lay a gold bar, the lieutenants medal, and the necessary paperwork. Without hesitation, Equius pushed the bar away from him.
D--> With all due respect sir, I refuse.
AR growled, showing his growing irritation, he too had anger problems.
“Zahhak, this is the third time you’ve refused this promotion! What is it going to take for you to accept!?”
D--> As ine%cusable my family would find it, I did not choose to serve so I could lead.
D--> I chose to serve so I could protect, so I could fight.
D--> Accepting this promotion would take some of that away from me, so I will refuse every time.
AR sighed and got up from the chair he was in and began to leave the room.
“Zahhak, I’m disappointed.”
D--> I am not, I am e%actly where I want to be.
“Then report to Lieutenant Gandra, he has a case for you.”
D--> Yes sir.
AR left the room. Without hesitation, Equius put his cap on and followed the commissioner out of his room.

Previously someone had written that Equius' mechanic side was split off into a brother, so I took that and ran with it.

My thinking was that Dr. Zahhak stumbled upon something about Tavros that he wasn't supposed to and Mr. Pupa needed to clean up a loose end.

[Wigmund]

Holy shit Rediklaus. You've made Equius into an astonishingly sympathetic character.
I never imagined I'd feel that way about the guy.

[Redikalus]

Holy shit Rediklaus. You've made Equius into an astonishingly sympathetic character.
I never imagined I'd feel that way about the guy.

And someone else managed to turn Tavros into an astonishingly unsympathetic (but still interesting) character, so I guess this mythos has balanced out now.
Thanks for the compliment (which is what I'm taking that as)!

Also fixed an embarassing typo, used to say I did choose to serve to lead
now says I did not choose to serve to lead

[cyclicCircumferentia]

I'm falling behind on this thread dakjnadkja.

Anyways, I got Photoshop back and I was able to do my title card!



Bigger Version here: http://img28.imageshack.us/img28/3788/conheirbig2.png
And for the sake of continuity, 800x450 sized picture: http://img840.imageshack.us/img840/1...heirsmall2.png

[DJ-P0N3]

LOVE
LOVE
LOVE
CC WINS THIS THREAD
FOREVER

[Redikalus]

See,
It's amazing things like this that got me interested in the thread in the first place.

[crepuscularDissembler]

Oh my god
Vriska's face

[mythmonster2]

Hello guys, I haven't finished reading through this thread yet, but I already have an idea for a fic. However, I need to know, had anyone done anything about Mushroom Farmer?

[Wigmund]

Mushroom Farmer farms mushrooms in the vast sewer system below the city, either that or he became a Secret Wizard...

Prepare yourselves people, I've got a huge art dump for you all! I'm probably gonna come back and edit in some head-canon later. But right now. Art.

Officers Sollux Captor and Terezi Pyrope

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Sergeant Equius Zahhak and Officer Aradia Megido - D.O.O.F.

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Detective Eridan Ampora and Medical Officer Kanaya Maryam

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Dispatch Officer Vriska Serket

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Vriska and her pirate persona Marquise Spinneret of the Mindfangs

Dave Strider

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From left to right: CrowBro, Don Strider and SeppuCrow (Bro's vigilante persona)

John Egbert

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Ectobiologist John Egbert and his super hero persona: Egbertman

Jade Harley

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Jade Harley, military researcher and her super hero persona: Space Lass

Maggie The Magpie

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The Magpie and her civilian persona, Maggie
And yes, Karkat - that ass is important! Remember it!

Rose Lalonde: Oracle of SEER

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I'm probably gonna redo this pic at some point.

Feferi Peixes

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Mayor's aide Feferi Peixes and her costumed persona: the Cuttlefish Culler (The Culler for short)

Tavros Nitram

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Young Tavros Nitram and the vile super villain Mr Pupa...who is most certainly not the secret identity of crippled troll on the left.

The Karkat Gang

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Gamzee, Karkat and Nepeta (who's sporting the scar from her run-in with The Magpie)

The Weasel

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Most certainly not Karkat in disguise so he can inflict Justice in Alternia City.

The Consorts of Alternia City

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Or at least three of them: Casey Von Salamancer, a Secret Wizard and Senator Lemonsnout the Second

Stuff I didn't draw shit for:
The Midnight Crew
The Kingpin's Mob
Sleuth, Inspector & Dick (or as Eridan derisively calls them: Sleuth Inspects your Dick)
The Felt
Mayor WV
Police Commissioner AR
and whoever else I didn't list here...

[kaoticAntagonist]

Walking

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On some nights Karkat just walked. He enjoyed listened to his steps echoing throughout the city. It was one of the few times he let himself think. It was also one of the few times he wasn’t angry, raging at the foibles of people around him, or even at his own incompetence. He just thought. Watched his breath fog in front of him in the cold night. Some nights he thought about the future. Some nights he would think about how he would deal the new job pupa came to him with. Some nights he remembered his past.

When he was a wriggler and threw tantrums at the slightest provocation.

When he had been barely 3 sweeps old and had been warned, harshly, not to slip and skin his knee.

Playing with Terezi at 4, telling her his secrets. Being disciplined for it.

Getting the courage to run away at 6. Spending the first few months on the streets completely unprepared, starving in the city's alleyways, crying to himself as he slept with an empty stomach.

Trying to steal food and getting beaten, begging and finding donations few.

He remembered finding Nepeta curled up up under a newspaper, barely breathing. Watching her heal slowly, and look at him with grateful eyes. When he finally found a purpose, a reason to fight.

Teaching her how to be hard, how to fight for herself. Telling her off vehemently every time she screwed up. Knowing that the adoration he felt in her gaze kept him ever being actually mad.

Guarding her for the few months before they found Gamzee, covered in blood that wasn’t his, and mumbling lifelessly to himself. She convinced him to help the kid. Said that he was like them. He told her it was temporary until he finally forgot that he had ever not known the spacy clown.

Leading them through the sweeps, doing things he was never proud of but knew were necessary. Trying to keep the hard parts away from the two.

Taking charity where they could get it. Just taking when they didn’t get it.

Making a deal with pupa.

It was necessary. Nepeta and Gamzee hadn’t known that they were doomed long before the deal, as soon as pupa had realized who they were and what he knew. The deal was a formality, a bit of dramatic flair that the pupa couldn’t resist. The man disgusted him. And scared him. He knew that no matter how important they were they were only a preferred shovel to the cripple. Eventually he would trade them in if he thought he could get something better. That was why he began taking these walks.

He stopped at the docks and walked to an abandoned warehouse that had an opening into the harbor. He felt eyes on him. Probably more of pupa’s goons. Good. Inside he filled up the speed boat with non perishables and another pack of batteries. It was getting cramped for more than two people, but it would be fine as a decoy. He was the only one likely to be riding it.

He had already had an understanding with a detective he knew about getting Nepeta and Gamzee out of the city when things started to fall apart. It was inevitable that they would. Six ( or was it seven now?) gangs couldn’t survive in the city forever, and the cold war over the devices was escalating steadily. He wasn’t stupid. As far as he was concerned his fate was already sealed. But he could get those two away. He had to. He was their leader.

He sighed and began walking back to the apartment. On the way he stopped to buy some face paint and yarn.

A/N:

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just an aside about karkat and what drives him. hope i fit it in well with the rest of the fics.

Edit:I know its pretty rough but its early and i don't feel like revising it yet.
Edit 2: now revised. hope this is a bit better.