TROLL!COPS: The AU

[Wigmund]

Working my way through the mental log jam.
Life's A Carnival

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The painted troll happened to be sleeping on the couch again, sleeping off the side effects of his sopor pies, when the door to Karkat's bedroom slammed open and Nepeta came charging out on all fours. Gamzee sat upright and watched his little kitty friend hide behind the arm rest of the couch, watching the door to the room she just fled from. Gamzee turned to see Karkat storm out, clad only in boxers, and started yelling at Nepeta.

Gamzee's eyebrows raised. This wasn't Karkat's usual "I YELL AT THE WORLD BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS TIGHTLY WOUND" hollering, this was something worse.

And Nepeta was receiving the full force of it.

Nepeta's eyes widened, then filled with tears and finally she ran off to her room slamming the door behind her.

Karkat froze, ran to Nepeta's door and started to knock on it and quietly asking that she open the door.

He started to apologize repeatedly.

Gamzee noticed the red spots appearing on the floor and decided that now would be an excellent time to be in his own room. Give the two some additional space, and the couch if they needed it.

Gamzee patted Karkat on the back as he passed the sobbing, apologetic troll and entered the room that Karkat and Nepeta considered Gamzee's.

In reality, it was the Old Goat's.

Gamzee opened the door and slide inside, always careful to not let the others see inside. They never tried to peek. They knew that this was his sanctum, a place for him to escape in ways that the sopor and other mind-altering substances didn't let him. It was a place he could remember the only times he was happy as a child.

His grandfather's study.

...15 years ago, during the aftermath of the Green Sun Disaster...
The Old Goat, Enki Makara, Grand Patron of the House Makara, patted the young troll on his head as he tried to comfort the boy. But he knew that nothing was going to get Gamzee to calm down now.

The Old Goat's worthless son was downstairs yelling at his equally worthless wife. They were both drunk again, not a big surprise. Not that they would have done anything to comfort Gamzee even if they were sober.

"I'm sorry my Kid, shall we go to my study?" Enki looked down at Gamzee who was busy wiping his runny nose on his grandfather's shirt. Enki smiled at the boy he loved more than his own children looked up at him and nodded.

Enki carried Gamzee across the grand mansion and to his private wing. They entered a small room and Gamzee's teary eyes widened in wonder at the sights that were in the his grandfather's study. Compared to the rest of the mansion, Enki's personal study was a tiny room, but it was the one place where he kept his prized collection of books, journals and memorabilia that he had gathered as a younger troll traveling the world.

Gamzee loved his grandfather's suite. He loved hearing the Old Goat's tales of the various brush wars he witnessed long ago and about the spy drama that occurred between the remnants of the Troll Empire and the Union. Enki loved telling Gamzee these stories and showing the impressionable child his study.

It was obvious Gamzee was a bright child, exceptionally bright despite what his mother and father yelled at him whenever he was near them.

Enki wanted to make sure that Gamzee has the best future possible, no matter what.

...10 years ago...

"Old Goat, what is wrong with that girl over there?"
Gamzee pulled on his grandfather's coat tails and pointed at the strange girl that was approaching their group. Apparently, Gamzee's parents were at the point of drunkeness where they weren't fighting and were willing to go attend a movie premeire. Now that the movie was over, the Makaras were making their way back to the restaurant they had reservations at for the rest of the evening.

That was until the Old Goat realized what was approaching them.

"Gamzee, keep away from her!" The Old Goat grabbed Gamzee and motioned to his son and daughter-in-law that they should follow him.

Gamzee was confused and terrified.

That fear got worse when he saw the girl come bounding after them on all fours, growling and snarling like a beast.

His mother was the first one to fall to the savage attack.

The Old Goat hid Gamzee behind a dumpster and went back to join his son in attempting to fend off their attacker.

But all that happened was that Gamzee witnessed his family being torn to shreds in front of him.

Then the beast started to sniff around again.

It was looking for him.

Gamzee covered his mouth and choked back the bleating sobs he wanted to unleash. He wanted to cry for his grandfather, but if he did, she would find him.

The blood-soaked girl was so close, he could see her glowing jade eyes.

Eyes he would never forget.

She gave up on searching for him and returned to the corpses she had created and began to feed.

Gamzee watched in terror. He watched the demon feed on his former family. He watched the demon suddenly freeze up and stare off into space. He watched as some blonde human girl ran up to her and led her off somewhere. He watched himself slowly crawl out from behind the dumpster and curl up in the middle of the bloody mess that had been his family. He watched some strange boy walk up to him hours later and ask what was wrong, what had happened.

Gamzee grabbed onto the boy and didn't let go. He couldn't. He didn't want to.

Eventually the troll pulled himself free and took Gamzee with him and a young girl troll to be with them.

Gamzee had found new friends. He would come to understand that he had found a new family.

Eventually, he would develop an addiction to sopor and other mind-altering drugs to force himself to forget what had happened, to repress the overwhelming memories of the past, to stop his mind from racing.

Also, Gamzee would lead Karkat and Nepeta on their first robbery.

A robbery of his old home.

They would take some of his parent's jewelry and trinkets. Stuff that would fetch a nice price so they wouldn't starve anytime soon, Gamzee looted his grandfather's study and hid it away.

...3 years ago...
Gamzee calmly listened to Karkat explaining their new circumstances to Nepeta.

They had an employer now? And it was Mr. Pupa?

Gamzee knew that was some deep shit, but he didn't let on. He was the calming force within the Karkat Gang. He was the one that kept Karkat and Nepeta from being driven insane by the life they lived.

And now it looked like he had more work to do.

But at least they were getting a permanent place to stay. A rather decent apartment by their standards.

Karkat let Nepeta and Gamzee pick their rooms first. Nepeta dived into the largest bedroom and claimed it. Gamzee walked into the secondary bedroom and realized it was the same size as his grandfather's study. He had to have it.

Karkat let them take the bedrooms. When they asked him where he would sleep, he pointed out that the utility closet had plenty of room for a small dresser and a cot. He didn't need that much room and besides, they probably needed the space more than he did.

Gamzee really wished he could repay Karkat for all of the sacrifices the small man took upon himself. It was amazing how much the perpetually angry troll shouldered to protect those he considered his family and how much he gave to ensure that they were happy before himself.

...2 years ago...
Gamzee loved the free medical clinic that operated in The Settlements. They always helped him with his sopor addiction.

Help satisfy it that is.

They had realized that Gamzee was one of the unfortunate few who needed to consume the stuff to suppress the overwhelming storm of emotions that raged within himself and his hyperdrive mind, something that, if left unchecked, would burn him out. So they supplied the painted troll with his medical needs and looked the other way whenever he stopped by.

Gamzee really liked that.

Well, that was until he ran into the daughter of the couple running the place.

It was her.

It was fucking her.

Gamzee freaked out the first time he ran into her. He screamed in terror because he trapped in the sopor supply closet and she was blocking the only way out.

He screamed that he didn't want to be eaten. Not like his family. He started to sob in terror.

She looked at him in shock, and then she started to cry when she realized what he was screaming about.

It took her hours to calm Gamzee down. Her parents had to help her.

But they calmed the terrified troll down.

And she explained what had happened and apologized profusely for it.

Gamzee said that he accepted her explanation, but he made sure to never visit the place when she was there. Thankfully she only spent certain days of the week at the clinic.

...6 months ago...
Oh god, why now?

Gamzee felt the sopor cloud draining away.

Why now? Why now when the Felt were after the Gang for some reason?

Oh god, please stop the noise. It hurts

Please stop it Old Goat. Please make the pain and screaming go away grandfather.

...1 month ago...
Gamzee was enjoying this night way too much.

Who knew that Karkat was so insecure when it came to his relationships with women. Who knew that he was so blind to the signs Nepeta had been throwing at him since the time Gamzee had joined their group 10 years ago.

Gamzee hid in his room, the recreation of his grandfather's study now that he had gathered all of the stuff he looted from the old study, to give Karkat and Nepeta some space.

Pity he didn't have to hide there for long, Nepeta started to make a racket because Karkat had passed out on the couch. So Gamzee carried the small troll to his bed and covered him up. Gamzee honked in amusement when Nepeta curled up on top of her new boyfriend and passed out herself.

The next couple of days were just as exciting.

...Where We Again? Oh Yeah, The Present...
Gamzee sat in the Old Goat's old chair and read through several of his journals as he listened to Karkat sobbing at Nepeta's door, begging for her forgiveness.

Gamzee looked around the study and realized that, somehow, new books were being added. New items were popping up on the shelves and available desk space.

This was no longer truly his grandfather's suite.

It was slowly becoming his own.

He was his own Goat now.

Gamzee started to laugh when he realized that.

He stopped laughing when he heard the door to Nepeta's room open.

Gamzee walked out of his room just in time to see Karkat being dragged by Nepeta through the doorway, which quickly shut behind the bewildered man.

Good, it meant they were making up yet again. He would hate to see those two split up, they were quite wonderful together. Gamzee smiled to himself, now only if he could find that someone special out there.

But that could wait, he was in no rush.

Gamzee pulled out a bottle of faygo and the remnants of one of last night's sopor pies and settled down to enjoy another day's worth of bizarre children's programming.

But then the phone rang.

Shit, Karkat was the one who usually answered it. But he was occupied.

Gamzee stared at the phone and got up.

"Hello, this is Gamzee."
"Well hello there, my, uh, fine friend. I was just calling to, um, let you and your compatriots know that I have a job for you. Please come by my mansion as soon as you can."
"Oh fuck, uh, yes sir. Yeah, we'll fucking be there."
"That's good. I shall see you soon then."

And then Mr. Pupa hung up the phone on his end.

Gamzee just stared at the receiver in his hand.

Oh fuck, this wasn't good.

A/N:

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Took me long enough. These bios get tough when it's for someone who shares experiences with multiple people that have already been written, it's hard to make their stuff something other than a recap of the very same events from yet another point of view.

Thankfully, Gamzee is the only one who has that problem to such a severe degree.

And you may have noticed that I dropped Gamzee's quirk. I'm gonna do the same with everyone else as well, it's too hard to constantly type out the quirks and I don't know why they'd actually speak in typing quirks. Well, Sollux at least has the excuse of a strange lisp and Eridan has a weird accent, but the rest are being dropped in my future fics.

Bluh, I need to stop writing, it's really damn late and I'm tired as hell.

Hope y'all enjoy this, because the next fics are a Karkat Gang adventure.

[mechanicalFactory]

yay! another great fanfic, glad to see more of the karkat gang.

[One]

So.
Exactly how many villains are in the heroes' collective rogues gallery?

[gingerale]

Oh sweet! Great way to start a day with! Going to be happily waiting for the upcoming fics! ^^

@One:
Also the villains are,
Mr. Pupa
Pirate Aradia (soulless since Wig's fics affect my head canon)
Casey
Midnight Crew
Kingpin Mob
The Felt
Nightwatch
Secret Wizards
Various monsters in the depths

Then the not really villains but still in the gallery are,
The Culler (Fef)
Vriska (hero now sort of)
The Karkat Gang (work for Mr Pupa)
Strider Mob

Did I forget any?

[quixoticFiend]

I loved it, Wigmund! ^^ Gamzee is one of my favorite trolls...

[pimudragonfeline]

Strider Mafia-Gingerale

[Wigmund]

@gingerale
You forgot about Nightwatch, the black ops military unit based out of Fort Skaian. They're not really a villainous group but they are willing to do horrific things to accomplish their goals.

And yeah, the Strider Mafia as well. I've been imagining them as something only slightly kinder than the Midnight Crew or the Kingpin's Mob. Just because they work with SEER doesn't mean that they are a good group despite Don's own personal actions.

[Deeum]

I've not forgotten about this thread or this AU, guys! I've just been super busy with moving and getting some things in order. I really would like to extend my deepest apologies to everyone for being so absent from this wonderful thread for so long.
Every day when I know I can't get to this thing, I feel extremely horrible.

Edit: I'll make one giant OP thread update once I finally get into my new place which should be in a week or two. Thanks so much for keeping things alive while I'm the worst ever.

[quixoticFiend]

Reminiscence-Part 1

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The night was still young, and he leapt onto rooftop after rooftop. He wheezed, struggling to draw in decent breaths. He still clutched at his wound his left hand slick with his own blood.

No rational thoughts came to his mind. Not exactly. He was aware that he was in pain, and that he had tried to attack too strong of an opponent when he was so weak. But there had been no planning, no methods, no predictions of the potential outcomes. Just the mad urge to tear apart, to shred, and to kill.

The troll boy stumbled, crying out in surprise as he lost his footing. Tumbling head over heels, he instinctively curled into a ball before landing on the cold pavement. A sickening crunch made him whine. He had landed on his left arm. Thankfully, the rest of his body was only scratched and bruised.

He crawled over to the back of the alley, dragging himself towards a nearby shack. It was filthy, falling apart, and devoid of life.

Perfect.

He lay against the wall, cradling his arm and his chest, rocking back and forth. His eyelids drooped as his breath shallowed. Eventually he fell asleep.

And that was when the nightmares began.

15 years ago, Alternia City Outskirts
A small child, 5 years of age, energetically leapt from tree to tree, giggling gleefully as he startled the local wildlife.

"The fearless Moonbeast prowls the borders of his territory, scanning the horizons for any enemies that may be nearby!"

The young child suddenly paused, sniffing the air. His eyes then gleamed with delight, and a mischievously fanged grin appeared on his face. He pounced on his unsuspecting victim; another troll boy, this one 12 years of age.

"ACK!"

"The Moonbeast is successful in his hunt! He has surprised his prey!"

The other boy grinned.

"That may be so, young'un. But there is an even bigger, more ferocious beast that prowls these woods!"

The small troll's eyes widened in disbelief.

"More than the Moonbeast?"

"Aye. And that beast...is...the Moonbeast's big brother!"

The older boy lunged, grabbing his younger sibling and playfully tickling his sides. The younger squirmed and laughed, trying to escape.

"C-Chayre! S-Stop it, stop it, ahahahahaaaaaaa!!!"

The elderly boy smirked.

"Oye, what's this? The mighty Moonbeast, begging for mercy?"

"I'm not a Moonbeast for real! Those are just stories! R-Right big brother?"

Chayre stopped tickling his younger brother. He now leaned back against the tree, his eyes thoughtful.

"Rocyon. All stories have a fragment of truth in them, especially those pertaining to family history. The Mirzam bloodline tells tales of trolls with incredible animalistic prowess. So I guess we could be descendants of Moonbeasts. Yes indeed. In fact, I would claim it probable."

He smiled at his younger brother's expression. His eyes were shining brightly with this new thought, and his expression grew into a fanged grin. Chayre ruffled the troll boy's hair.

"You seem more like a Moonbeast than any of us. Even as a wriggler you could never sit still for long."

Rocyon giggled as his brother stood up. Following the older troll's lead, he dashed towards the small house, then to his brother, back towards the house, and then to his brother once more.

Just like a Moonbeast pup would. The trait runs strong in him.

Chayre fought back a grin as Rocyon flopped onto his back and rolled in the grass. He leaned against the door, sighing.

"Rocyon, stop that and get inside. You need to clean yourself."

Rocyon did stop, which surprised Chayre. The 5 year old lay completely still, his body tensed. In fact, the world seemed to have been muted. It was a moment of complete and utter silence.

Chayre heard his brother screaming as he scrambled up, running for the house. He saw an odd light in the distance, wondering fearfully what it was.

"Rocyon, get inside NOW!!!"

Rocyon remembered running. He remembered a roar of sound, the explosion of energy. Being swept off his feet, screaming as he smashed through the glass window. His brother's yells cut off suddenly. And then-

Darkness.
*************
The boy blearily opened his eyes. Memory returned in the next few seconds, causing him to scramble up in fear. His heart raced with leftover adrenaline. He called out softly.

"Mum? Dad? Chayre? Where are you guys?"

Why was it so dark? It was cold, too. That wasn't right. No, it'd been a warm, sunny day. No, no, this was just a dream, a bad dream, a-

Oh gog. Oh gog.

The entire front of the house was gone. Obliterated. Like a giant had smashed it with his giant hammer. Rocyon barely felt the glass underneath his feet as he staggered forward. His mind was in a daze as he collapsed onto his knees. It just wasn't true. It couldn't be.

His father had tried to shield his mother from glass. Large bits of it had stuck in his body like darts, and a final, large piece had lodged itself in his throat.

His mother had been hit with pieces of the collapsing roof. Her neck was at an odd angle, her body sprawled unnaturally on the debris-littered ground.

And Chayre...Chayre had been impaled through his stomach with a tree branch. He looked like a doll, propped up against the wall by the branch that had slain him.

Dead. All dead. Except him. Blue blood. Everywhere. But not his. All dead. Dead gone dead gone dead killed dead dead oh gog DEAD-

Rocyon clutched his head and howled, his frenzied cries carrying through the night.

Yep. First part of his past. Not as well written as I would have liked, but meh.

I pronounce Chayre as *shire*. And I guess Rocyon as *roh scion*. XD

Comment and critique please, but be kind. ^^;

[mythmonster2]

I am interested. I have to ask about the asterisks though. What's up with them?

[quixoticFiend]

*blinks* Huh. I didn't even notice them. Darn ninja asterisks. Thanks for pointing them out. ^^

[BioShocker]

I read Rocyon as Roh-scion.

[quixoticFiend]

I read Rocyon as Roh-scion.

Haha! I could see that. I actually change it up in my head...

Actually, Roh-scion might sound better. O.o

[pimudragonfeline]

Working on my oc by going back and reading fanfics Saw magpie and I'm like cool maybe she needs a little brother/sidekick named Jay or something
looked up family corvidea on wikipedia...HOPY shit that's a lot of Strider's.

Head canon Magpie is a : Cyanopica cyana, blue and brown. Or if you really ship Dave and Jade: Cissa chinensis
Jay would be:Garrulus lidthi
Others would be:
Nucifraga columbiana
Corvus frugilegus
Corvus dauuricus
Dendrocitta formosae
Going for brown slash blending in.

[Wigmund]

I've got different plans for Maggie and they involve Eridan.

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[pimudragonfeline]

Okay then.

[Wigmund]

Yeah, she's gonna be Eridan's psychotic sidekick when he's investigating cases. Can't wait to get there, but I need to actually start the Karkat Gang story that's festering in my head.

And then get through Equius' bio and a story involving him and Robo?Aradia followed by Terezi's bio and a story involving her and Alpha Dave. After that it's Eridan's bio and a new case.

[Blox]

KILL HAS FOUR LETTERS IN IT PROFESSOR!
PROFESSOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!!!!!!

This will make no sense If you haven't seen the flashes on deviantArt xD


In anycase, that's an awesome idea Wig 0u0

[mythmonster2]

No. That made absolutely no sense to me whatsoever. Looking forward to all your bios, Wig!

[gingerale]

KILL HAS FOUR LETTERS IN IT PROFESSOR!
PROFESSOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!!!!!!

This will make no sense If you haven't seen the flashes on deviantArt xD


In anycase, that's an awesome idea Wig 0u0

You do realize you should link them after saying something like that? ;o

[Stafykune]

http://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/trollcops

well shit

[crepuscularDissembler]

*O*

[mythmonster2]

Holy. Fuck. Nice job guys. First Sollux's police lights, now this! This is awesome!

[FieryBlacksmith]

My mind. It is blown.

[gingerale]

I know! I was just playing the album without reading the names. I went all "Hey, this theme is awesome!" and then saw its name. Jit is awesome! Will need to thank him when he gets on IRC.