TROLL!COPS: The AU

[quixoticFiend]

@kaoticAntagonist: Oh wow, that's gonna be worked into my headcanon somehow.
@Redbird: Thanks for the compliment It's a free-for-all when it comes to headcanon here.

Now to get started on that Karkat Gang fic I was promising
Would You Kindly?
Part 1

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Karkat was thankful when Gamzee started pounding on the door to Nepeta's room. He was always uncomfortable when she pinned him down in the pile of stuffed animals she used as a bed and all those cats she insisted on burgling would crawl in her window and watch them hold onto each other.

Karkat pulled himself up, shook Nepeta off and opened the door to find a frightened Gamzee staring at him.

This couldn't be good.

"What the hell is wrong? Who called?" Karkat looked up at Gamzee and cocked an eyebrow. This couldn't be good, only a few things really rattled the perpetually stoned troll and at the top of the list was "Mr. Pupa, the motherfucker has a job for us. He wants us at his fucking place 'soon'." Karkat rubbed his face and growled, "Fuck fuck fuck, how soon did he say?" from the way Gamzee was reacting, he knew the answer before his friend to him, "As soon as possible."

Karkat ran from Nepeta's room and into his, quickly getting dressed, "Nepeta, get straightened. We've gotta go see the boss." Nepeta stalked out of her room and pouted at Karkat, "Do we have to? I wanted to just curl up with you all day Karkitty."
"I know, I know, but we need to keep the boss happy."
"Silly Mister Pupurr."

The trio quickly got ready and exited their apartment. Nepeta's horde of cats had taken over most of the building and several followed them past the greasy troll diner that existed several floors below the gang's apartment. They swarmed the dumpsters outside while the trio moved into the alleyway to get their ride ready.

"Do I get to be a cat car again?!" Nepeta hopped from foot to foot in excitement. Karkat sighed, "Dammit, yes, just transform already."

Nepeta clapped her hands and spun in place, "BEEP BEEP MEOW!" One moment, there was a smiling cat girl standing in the alleyway, the next there was a sub-compact car that looked like it had been attacked by cat fetishists.

"Goddamn I hate that, you don't have to say that whenever you use the ring Nepeta."
"Beep?"

Karkat was getting into the driver's seat, "Don't start that up!"
"Beep beep."
Gamzee closed the passenger door and laughed when Karkat suddenly blushed, "What?! Why didn't you tell me your steering wheel was..." The angry red-blood pulled his hands off the wheel and glared at the dash, "Dammit Nepeta, just take us to Mr. Pupa's!"
"Beep beep beep meow meow!"
"And stop laughing at me you fucking crazy cat girl!"
"HoNk HoNk HoNk!"
"You can fucking stuff it as well you nook-sniffing sopor sucker!"
Both Gamzee and Nepeta kept on laughing as they sped off towards the Heights.

When they arrived at the mansion, the trio entered through the servant's entrance, Karkat left Gamzee and Nepeta in the kitchens and made his way to Mr. Pupa's suite.

He started to knock on the door, but wasn't surprised when the man waiting inside called for him to enter before his fist pulled back.
"Come on in Karkat. I have, uh, been waiting for you."
Karkat cringed and slowly opened the door to find his boss, the dreaded Mr. Pupa, standing in front of the massive windows that gave the criminal overlord an excellent view of Alternia City.
"Please, um, Mr. Vantas. Feel free to take a seat."
Karkat hesitantly walked in and took a seat in front of Pupa's desk and watched his boss continue to look out the window. Pupa stood there for what seemed like an eternity before turning around to face his primary 'employee'.

"I was rather, uh, disappointed when you so rudely tried to leave my good graces. But I am so happy that you reconsidered that plan."
"Yeah, whatever. What do you want?"

Pupa just smiled at Karkat, that horrifyingly dangerous smile he wore when he was being pushed and didn't like it.

A smile that said that its wearer would not even blink an eye when ordering everyone that the focus of the wearer's ire loved to be horrifically murdered.

"Now, now Mr. Vantas, let's not be harsh here. I just need you to perform a simple job for me." Pupa walked up to his desk and pushed a folded letter towards Karkat.
"What's this?" Karkat glared at the note as he picked it up.
"Instructions on what you should do after you and your cohorts are arrested in City Central and placed in the holding cells at the headquarters of the Alternia City Police Department."

Karkat nearly dropped the letter, "Wait, what are you talking about? I can't be arrested! They'll send me to the Veil! I...I-"
"Have nothing to, uh, worry about. Just open the note when you are placed in your cell and everything will become clear."

Pupa turned around and wandered over to the windows again, "Have a good day Mr. Vantas."
"Yeah, whatever," Karkat got up. He made it as far as the doors when he heard Mr. Pupa speak up again.

"One last thing Mr. Vantas," Mr. Pupa turned to look over his shoulder at Karkat, "Congratulations for the recent beginning of your deeper relationship with Miss Leijon. You two make such a, uh, wonderful couple."

Karkat's eyes widened as he quickly left Mr. Pupa's suite and quickly made his way back to Gamzee and Nepeta. He found them in a staff break room talking to someone who looked very familiar. They had cups of soda in front of them and some snack food. They were all laughing. Nepeta spotted Karkat entering the room and waved at him, "[color="#416600"]Hey there Karkitty! Have you met Mr. Pupurr's new girlfurrend?"

Karkat stopped, "What girlfriend? I thought he was married to that Vriska bitch."

Everything froze as the unknown woman glared at him. Karkat carefully looked her over, making special note of her curled horns.

Wait, he's seen horns like that before. But the eyes that were looking at him were nothing like the emotionless robotic ones he had faced so many times before, or the lively ones he remembered before that.
"Oh, um, hello. Sorry about that."
The eyes flashed and they returned to being lively, caring and cheerful, "Oh it's no problem. I'll assume that you are Karkat."
Karkat nodded as Aradia got up and walked towards him.
"Nepeta told me so much about you. She is a lucky woman to have a man like you. But I have to go and it looks my love has a task for you three that requires your attention."
Aradia nodded to everyone in the room, "Good luck you three."

She glared at Karkat as she passed him and growled under her breath, "You will need it?"

Karkat went pale until Aradia was completely out of sight, he then rounded up his fellow gang members and the three left Mr. Pupa's mansion.

Gamzee watched Karkat fidget nervously as they headed downtown.
"So what does our motherfucking boss want us to do?"
"Meow?"
"Yeah, what the fucking kitty car said. Something's under your skin?"

Karkat glanced over at Gamzee and at the dash of Nepecar, "We need to get ourselves arrested and jailed at APD HQ."

The car screeched to a halt and Gamzee stared at Karkat in disbelief, "HONK! What the fuck!"

"It's part of Pupa's plan, once we're jailed there, I'm to open this note and it'll tell us what to do."
"Beep beep meow?"
"Uh...fuck, well shit."
"Yeah, my thoughts exactly."
Gamzee rubbed a hand through his hair, retreiving a faygo from his thick locks, "Well shit, if we need to get arrested, we might as well have fun causing fucking chaos."

Karkat glanced over at his buddy and bumped fists with him, "Can't say that I disagree, let's make those fucking flat-footed bulge suckers remember this."

Karkat tapped the gas pedal which had no function, prompting Nepeta to purr. The car kicked into high gear and they speed off into City Central.


Several hours later, the trio were dragged into the headquarters of the Alternia City Police Department. The desk officer was glaring at the shitty mural that was painted on one wall of the entry hall. It was obvious he hated it.

Karkat started up his usual tirade that he and his friends had been up to nothing despite the ruins they left several downtown shops in. The squabbling was going fine until Nepeta piped up about wanting to share a cell with him.
"What agaiin? You guyth thtiill hooked up?"
"Of course. I'll never leave my Karkitty!"
Karkat screamed in frustration, prompting Officer Captor to laugh at him.

Fucking four-horned lispy freak.

A/N:

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I was gonna have this linked up to Routiine (which I don't think is linked on the OP), but then I realized that that particular fic took place right after the one where Nepeta and Karkat went to the zoo. So I settled with a callback.

And yes, I did reference kaotic's newest fic. I was working on this when his appeared and I modified the conversation with Mr. Pupa accordingly.

I love your stories, Wigmund! Especially the ones with the Karkat Gang. ^^

[kaoticAntagonist]

thanks. I have another one with the midnight crew half done so it should be up soon. of course my soon=weeks sooo...

[mechanicalFactory]

yay! more awesomeness for today, with a great wigmund fic.

[frostedWarlock]

Okay, in the RP group, we were talking to someone interested in the RP, and they accidentally totally explained how this AU could exist.

This AU takes place in an alternate timeline wherein the 12 trolls managed to successfully get the Ultimate Reward. Trolls and Humans managed to develop side-by-side, but the obvious culutural differences still managed to divide them. Through complex coincidental timey wimey bullshit, all of the things that seemed to just be referencing Homestuck in our AU are actually historical memories that all manifest in this world. The 12 main troll characters are all paradox clones of themselves.

There are several obvious holes in this headcanon, but maybe someone else can work on it?

[gingerale]

Remember the reset button? The one Bro partly already cut? You could have that having happened with the finished sessions but just to the opposite direction. :þ

Simple.

[mythmonster2]

Bluh, I feel like an attention whore, but the OP is missing 3 of my most recent fics. Links:

Two Freaks
3 in the Morning
Heart Full of Empty

[frostedWarlock]

Hey guys! Guess who decided to fuck pretending working on a flash and is instead collaborating with Wigmund to bring you guys a webcomic chapter of TrollCops?!

Ashtastic.

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He is going to color the comics that Wigmund and I make

[Deeum]

Bluh, I feel like an attention whore, but the OP is missing 3 of my most recent fics. Links:

Two Freaks
3 in the Morning
Heart Full of Empty

I stated in a post a page or so back that I won't beable to update the main post till I get moved into my new place. Sorry that it's been taking so long.

[Wigmund]

Hey guys! Guess who decided to fuck pretending working on a flash and is instead collaborating with Wigmund to bring you guys a webcomic chapter of TrollCops?!

Ashtastic.

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He is going to color the comics that Wigmund and I make

This is gonna be fun >:]

[mythmonster2]

Bluh, I feel like an attention whore, but the OP is missing 3 of my most recent fics. Links:

Two Freaks
3 in the Morning
Heart Full of Empty

I stated in a post a page or so back that I won't beable to update the main post till I get moved into my new place. Sorry that it's been taking so long.

Oh sorry, I must have missed that. Also, Troll!Cops Webcomic hell yez.

[BioShocker]

New fic

Opportunity

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Jack Flash ,Greatest courier in Alternia City, awoke in a dimly lit room with bad headache and wondered, briefly, if he had a good time last night.Then he remembered. He was in a cell in Fort Skaian. And not just an cell, but a Nightwatch cell. Thats right they had picked him up after that explosion.
They Had been "Interviewing" all week, putting him through his paces through obstacle course's with a ridiculous amount of traps, all so he could get them a goddamn Skaian Artifact.He Knew that in all likelihood that they would kill him as soon as he got it back to them, but he would have an opportunity to escape in the SKAIAN LABARINTH. But that was not why he was doing it. He was doing it because he was a small time monster hunter on the side. Not because the pay was good, but because it was there were things in the sewer's even the millitary were afraid of enough to pay the crazies who hunted them.
And he had taken this job because he had a chance to take on the Copper Giclops.

Notes

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In my headcannon there are monster hunters, but they are pretty much either crazy, brave or stupid.

[Redbird]

Okay, my first Story, any feedback/critique would be welcome. c: There will be more to this story, as I've kind of stopped half way through it.

Sisters (Part One)

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It’s hard being a big sister.

It’s hard, and nobody understands... Still, that wasn’t to say that Kanaya didn’t enjoy being a big sister. Quite the contrary, she loved it. But when your younger sister happened to always have energy, and would happily pounce around all day, playing with whatever happened to catch her eye, before something else would then catch her eye. Well, that’s when problems started to happen.


And do not think that Kanaya did not love her younger sibling; she loved her with all her heart. But when both of your parents happen to be busy doctors; as well as running a children’s home for all the street Orphans of Alternia;l having, or forcing a nine year old to care for their constantly moving about younger daughter was quite hard. Still, Kanaya managed to make sure Nepeta stayed out of trouble. Mainly by making sure she always had something to do, and showing her the wonders of the internet. That definitely was an amazing discovery, and would often keep her busy for hours, while Kanaya could read, or sew, or do some other kind of activity she enjoyed.

Although, maybe showing a five year old the ‘wonders’ of the internet hadn’t been the most intelligent idea she had had... Still, the damage was done, and if it allowed her more precious hours of being able to sew, and design more outfits, Kanaya thought it might have been worth it.


Of course, why she had shown Nepeta the internet, had mostly been because of an incident earlier on in the year. Having left her younger sister to her own devises for a few hours, had developed interesting results.

Nepeta had soon gotten bored of chasing and playing with the leaves oin their back garden, and had soon wandered around to the front of their house. There, she had explored the ‘dangerous undergrowth!’ and was just about to walk out of the front garden, when a scruffy haired troll had caught her eye. Walking up to him, seemingly unaware of the fact his clothes were dirty and streaked with bright red blood, and the fact his expression was a scowl that could rival even her fathers, (after all, she was just five years old, and in her head, she just saw a potential friend) she waved, smiled, and announced, ‘Hi! My name’s Nepeta! ‘Though my big sis calls me Nep... anyway, who are you?'

Taken back by her forwardness, the boy just raised an eye brow, then scowled even harder. Giggling slightly, Nepeta just smiled back, before grabbing his hand in a ‘handshake’ and asking him again,

‘So, what’s your name!’

Grunting, he mumbled, ‘ ... Karkat’

Smiling brightly, Nepeta then took Karkat’s hand again, before trying to lead him into her back garden. Still shocked at the strange cat-horned troll girl, Karkat simply followed, dumbstruck. When he partly realised where she was taking him, he quickly tried to pull his hand away from hers, and started mumbling about how, ‘... I really need to go- m-my dad’ll be worried ‘bout me...’ before trying to quickly walk away, glancing suspiciously around him, and behind him, leaving an astonished Nepeta behind him.


It was at this point, that Kanaya found Nepeta bursting into the house, telling her some story about, ‘Some troll boy, with teeny-tiny horns! And hair that stuck out everywhere!’. Thinking it merely a by-product of her sister’s very active imagination (after all, just the other week ago, she came up with a story about some invisible two mouthed cat, or something like that), Kanaya merely replied with,

‘Hush 'Pet. Come On, How About I Watch That Cat Program You Love So Much With You, How Does That Sound?’ Which kept her quiet for the rest of the day.


Still, the next day, Kanaya heard about him again.

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And if you haven't guessed, I've decided for my headcanon, Nepeta is Kanaya's younger sister. Karkat still lives on the streets. And don't worry, the Karkat gang will exist, this is just the past's of the members, for the time being.

Ages,
Nepeta- 5
Karkat- 8
Kanaya-9

[mythmonster2]

That's a pretty nice headcanon you got there, Redbird. Should be interesting to watch!

[One]

Lechku and Nechku are awesome bosses! Maybe two men wearing suits and top hats, with monocles and canes, one decked in silver and the other in gold?

Yeah maybe if there was an actually decent sprite artist who followed this AU.

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They're two Dave clones who have turned to crime for mysterious reasons. They control the flow of time with pocketwatches and carry rapiers.
Obviously only the Strider Mafia and related can deal with them effectively, what with time shenanigans.

[frostedWarlock]

A quick drawing of how Maggie might look in the comic Wigmund and I are doing. It's still in the experimental stages, but basically, we're doing that Professor Eridan and Lukemaggie whateveoramabob

I threw this together in like a dozen minutes or so, so feel free to make comments about it, but note that I actually put a surprising amount of efforts into details. Like how her bangs match Dave's hairline.

In retrospect... that's the only detail. WHOOPS

[crepuscularDissembler]

Birdhair runs in the family

Also I just realized that Eridan'd probably make her dress for the job
which means no more drawing terrible ironic decora/fairy kei/girly pastel fever dream Maggie

I do feel like she should wear sunglasses though

[appleaerosol]

Considering I've been marveling in awe at this thread since about a month or something before I joined, I feel like I should just pop in and say you're all beautiful. All of you.

And that the Trollcops theme spun my headcanon on its head [lolol] and now I associate this with the Pink Panther. Yessss. I will jump in on this thing eventually, I swear.

[Ra Zarudo]

Okay, in the RP group, we were talking to someone interested in the RP, and they accidentally totally explained how this AU could exist.

This AU takes place in an alternate timeline wherein the 12 trolls managed to successfully get the Ultimate Reward. Trolls and Humans managed to develop side-by-side, but the obvious culutural differences still managed to divide them. Through complex coincidental timey wimey bullshit, all of the things that seemed to just be referencing Homestuck in our AU are actually historical memories that all manifest in this world. The 12 main troll characters are all paradox clones of themselves.

There are several obvious holes in this headcanon, but maybe someone else can work on it?

I had the idea that (current?) Karkat's mutant blood in this canon was due to him being half-human.

[kaoticAntagonist]

Not that I know of. I mean you can think that if you want but no one ever said he was half-human.

[gingerale]

Phew! Finally finished catching up with the fics!

And they're all fantastic! You guys are all wonderful!

And yay, Karkat Gang Wigfics coming! ^^

[battlerek]

Can anyone link me to what the troll cops radio play narration was saying?

[Cheers]

I'm looking forward to reading that webcomic you guys are working on.


Anyway, I keep telling myself to draw more stuff for this AU and as it turned out listening to Trollcops on repeat is the best motivation.

[pimudragonfeline]

Nice!
Also: Webcomic Squee!

[Redbird]

@mythmonster2- Oh, thanks a lot! I've got some other idea's, which I'm hoping might also be interesting as well. I love how almost anything can be head-canon here, it's awesome. xD

@frostedWarlock- I actually really like the picture. Can't wait to see what else you and Wigmund come up with!

@Cheers- Saw the picture on DA, I really love how you've drawn Terezi and Sollux. It's awesome!

[pimudragonfeline]

Dueling Arenas Extrapolate:
If you've ever read Tamora Pierce's Squire they serve the same purpose as Tournys if not...

They allow trolls to vent frustration and show skill. They also serve the purpose of ending blood feuds and challenges outside of the overbooked courts. Also try to kill an opponent unannounced is dishonorable, counts as a "Strike" towards barring and may lead to actual legal action.

Ice cream vendor:
An unnamed Jade consort that operates an Ice-cream truck where you can purchase unusual flavors and toppings like Swedish fish, Licorice, Green Tea ice cream, and also regular flavored frozen treats. The business survives by buying and selling information to all parties without bias.