Oh hey look, some horrible explanation of my Dozeassin theory a few pages back, from first-person perspective nonetheless!
Have to run. The Felt are after me. I snitched on ‘em, though I could make a quick buck. That damn night, I saw their lime green car. I could see it coming down the street a mile away, but damn I started running as soon as I saw it. I have to get out of town. I have to escaWhatwasthat?
Oh good, it’s just Doze. Honestly, he’s pathetic. Slowing yourself down, ooh, what a big deal. He’s pretty much dead weight for the Felt, why the hell they keep him around is a mystery wait he’s jumping at me and OHGODWHATSHAPPENING
and im picked up
everything speeds up again. I’m in a chair, how the hell did I get here, restrained. I look around, I see a clock and what the hell it’s five hours later, and that’s when I see a digital clock, out of place in all the green, and I close my eyes because that can’t be true. According to the date, it’s been five days since I walked down that alley. That’s impossible, it was literally only five minutes ago; I felt it!
That’s when I see the blue hat peeking around the corner, softly smiling. He walks away at a steady pace, and then he’s clapped on the back by one with a yellow hat. And then the maroon one walks towards me, and I don’t even have time to scream.
Here's a fic about HHT. (Yes, this is a serious fic and my longest yet)
The Law and The Enforcer:
The date was June 12, the anniversary of Alternia City. But, more importantly, it was the anniversary of the Alternia Police Department. But this wasn't a happy occasion; at least, not for Police Chief AR, as he found himself struggling with...
"I am Chief Justice Hierophant H. Tyran, part-time bus driver. Call me HHT. And there is something I'd like to talk to you about."
AR frowns, then sighs. "Well, guess it can't be helped. What's it about, HHT?"
HHT pauses, without a change in his expression. Then, almost as if expecting it, he asks, "If you mind, Officer Serket, this is private."
Vriska Serket, long-time cop, and easily the worst of them, was discovered by HHT. Hiding in AR's office.
"Oh, hehehehe. Sorry, Your Honora8le Tyranny. My 8ad. I'll 8e off, then."
Vriska obviously wasn't counting on HHT finding her out. However, she tried her best not to let that show. She was determined to find out what exactly His Honorable Tyranny had to talk with AR about. And to manipul8 it.
HHT raises an eyebrow. Or at least he did in his mind. His outward expression didn't change one bit. "Well, you best not let that happen again." HHT pauses, then continues, whispering one sentence to the blue-blooded cop. One that shook her inwardly.
"You won't be able to bare your fangs at me, Marquise."
This must've shaken her up more than she thought, because she gasped loudly enough that the everyone in the general vicinity of AR's office heard her.
HHT closes the door behind him, shutting out all interference.
"AR. This is important. There have been some... complaints... about the way the APD has been handling things."
AR was somewhat shocked at this. As the Police Chief, he takes responsibility for the whole department. But that's not why he's shocked. "Complaints!? But I assure you, we do everything in our power to keep this city safe!"
"Well, then. I'm sure that you're aware of Equius' ... approach towards catching criminals. Property damage in itself is a crime."
"But his damage was repaired!"
"We don't pardon robbers even though the stolen item is returned."
AR kept silent. He didn't know what to say to that.
"Furthermore, Officer Pyrope and Officer Captor. Their methods can be... somewhat unsavory at times. At least, according to the general populace."
"That's absurd! They're our best cops! They always get the job done!"
"...I was reluctant at first to tell you this news. I know that they are the best cops here, and that they are irreplaceable. That is why I was reluctant. But I'm telling you anyway. They do what is necessary, I admit that. But the general populace just doesn't agree with their methods sometimes. Bah, humans. I will never understand them. But that's beside the point."
AR only manages to say this: "So, you're telling me that, just because the people don't like them, I should fire them?"
HHT sighs. "It's not only that. The damages they caused should also be taken into account. Plus, I have some more news."
AR doesn't want to hear anymore, but he decides to hear the rest.
HHT prepares. "It's about Officer Serket. She is a loose cannon. We can't tolerate her methods any longer. And that's not taking into account her... other activities."
AR is curious. What could he possibly mean by that? Officer Serket isn't a criminal. So what could he be saying?
Meanwhile, outside the office...
"Heh. II 2ee you got iintwo 2ome trouble there, Vri2ka."
Sollux is obviously smiling at the thought. Her manipulation finally fail her.
"Oh, shuuuuuuuut up, Captor!!!!!!!!"
"TH3R3'S SOM3TH1NG F1SHY GO1NG ON W1TH YOU, VR1SK4." Terezi says this with the ever-so-subtle hint of suspicion in her tone.
"Aaaaaaaargh! Wh8 does ever8thing have to 8e susp8cious a8out me????????"
"B3C4US3 1T'S YOU."
"Oh, grow up! 8esides, I can't control His Honora8le Tyranny. Wh8 would I h8ve to g8in from this?"
"... 1 DON'T KNOW. SOM3TH1NG, TH4T'S FOR SUR3."
"Whaaaaaaaatever! L8er, losers. I gotta 8e somewhere."
Vriska dashes off in a hurry. She goes to her office, conveniently the closest to AR's office, so she can eavesdrop...
"You see, I've done some... research on Ms. Serket, and I've discovered some things."
AR looks confused. Confused, but nonetheless curious. He asks in a puzzled tone, "What things? And why Officer Serket in particular?"
HHT simply sighs. "What I am about to tell you should be obvious to anyone with a brain."
AR, insulted, retorts back. "Oh yeah!? Well, bring it! What could YOU have noticed that I haven't?"
HHT pauses, then sighs again. "Officer Vriska Serket killed Aradia Megido. By manipulating the Mindfang Pirates."
AR's eyes widen with shock. Shock which also fills his entire face. Reluctantly, he asks, "... A-are you suggesting... that Officer Serket... Is Marquise Spinneret Mindfang? ...Captain of the Mindfang Pirates...?"
HHT places his hand over his head and shakes it. Almost as if having a big realization. "Well, that's just absurd! Marquise Mindfang is obviously someone else! She and Officer Serket have similarities, yes, but that doesn't mean they're the same! All I'm saying, is that Aradia was killed. It couldn't be avoided. The damage had been done. Even if she survived, she would've stayed in a coma. And would have probably died long before awakening. Vriska did her a favor by killing her right then and there."
AR is still perplexed, but his feelings then mixed with a bit of anger. "B-but how? Officer Serket is capable of many wrong things. But she is a cop! She would have never done something like that! Killing is wrong! Even if it's mercy killing!" AR is having a hard time taking this.
HHT's expression changes. He seems more serious now than before, if such a thing were possible. "Well, think of it this way. If Officer Megido were not dead, then transferring her soul into the soulbot would have been several times more difficult, almost impossible. If anything, Officer Serket saved her life by taking it."
AR is still conflicted about this. "B-but... It is still against the law! Against ME! I have to confront her about this!"
HHT is suddenly shocked! He had planned to have AR fire the "Problem Cops," or AR himself for being against the law, but AR is taking that side instead. He seems about ready to fire Officer Serket for saving someone's life sooner! He then does something that he never would've thought of doing. Something that defied his past. And his hatred.
"... If you're going to fire her, I suggest you stop."
AR quietly retorts, "I am the law. She went against me. She has to be thrown in the slammer."
HHT slams his hands on the desk. He then steps back and points dramatically at AR. "The LAW is impossible to follow completely. That is why we have criminals. Criminals are the reason why we have people ready to defend and enforce the law. Isn't that what YOU said a while back? You put up with everything your cops do. Property damage, unsavory methods, reckless behavior, failure. Why not put up with this? It SAVED a life. And much sooner than what would have been possible. If she hadn't interfered, then Officer Megido would not have survived. You're losing sight of your ideal, AR. Don't be a tyrant. That life isn't for you. It's for me, and me alone. Good day to you."
HHT storms out and slams the door, leaving AR to think about what he had just said. On his way out, he attempts to regain his composure.
"...Why did I defend her? I... defended the descendant of the one who injured me. I was barely able to get out of there alive. Normally, I would be doing what AR was about to do. He must be taking it hard. Either that, or his old self rubbed off on me..."
Back at the office, AR quietly thinks about it. What he was about to do to an officer who had effectively strengthened their force. He would have never forgiven himself if he did that. He has to make it up to her.
"Officer Vriska Serket. Please report to my office immediately," AR announced on the PR. Or whatever it was called.
Vriska quickly dashes out of her office and enters before anyone can make a remark.
(AR doesn't usually call p8ople into his off8ce. It must 8e reeeeeeeeally important........)
"Alright, AR. Whaaaaaaaat's the deal?"
AR looks remorseful. "Well, you see... Err, how do I put this? ...I was about to fire you."
"Oh... Heh heh... A8out that........ I was e8vesdropping."
Man this thread is so good it made me stop lurking for a while! These stories are awesome! I read the entire thread over the weekend without stopping. I think my favorite was the Sisters (trilogy?) by Redbird.
I have mentioned that I love this thread right?
Well if I have I'm just going to say it again.
I love all these new stories popping up, especially Redbird and Huanir's. I'LL JUST ADD MY PRAISE TO THE PRAISE PILE.
I feel that I have to post something when I comment, so...
HEY HEY LETS GO PICK ON THE DISABLEEEEEEEED.
Dread pirate Mindfang was never seen again.
Last edited by Resf; 05-11-2011 at 03:46 PM.
Reason: bad art
Malcolm Brown Middle School was part of the Alternia City Independent School District and thus public. Officer Equius Zahhak disliked public schools. His education had been entirely private before the Police Academy, and he took pride in that. His partner Officer Aradia Megido, on the other hand, came from a very poor background over which she had triumphed in STRONG manner. She made a good parter under fire, though her tendency towards rehabilitating criminals instead of punishing them struck Equius as a tad unseemly. She also made a habit of volunteering the two of them for vulgar appointments such as the presentation they had just given at Brown.
"i think that went rather well, dont you?" Her face was alight with the smile that came from making a difference in the life of a young troll.
The two of them were walking from the school with their police dog, Cain. "D --> I STRONGLY disagree with this assessment. Upon e%amination, you will observe that the adolescents failed even to laugh at my witticism."
Aradia sighed, but she somehow made it an upbeat sigh. A rare talent. "i keep telling you, equius, that your dog pun isnt very funny. if it were a kindergarten, maybe, assuming theyd get it, but its not the guaranteed hit you think it is."
She, of course, was speaking beyond her pedigree. His joke was as follows: how ought he to order his police dog to cease and desist from whatever activity in which it is engaged? "Cain, nein!" It was funny because it sounded like canine, and canine meant dog, and Cain was a dog. The ancient wordsmiths would have been proud.
Aradia was still talking. "i mean, the punch line isnt worth it after the really long setup, and the forced pause used to separate the words takes away from it as well. i think youd best find a different joke." As though it was his only one. Laughable. He had many jokes. He just could not think of them at the moment. Or at any moment, for that matter. The dog joke was always the first one to come to mind.
"D --> It might 100k like humor is not my STRONG suit, but rest assured, a closer e%amination will yield results most telling, which is to say, funny."
She gave him one of her slight smiles. "you see, thats what i mean when i talk about the setup. youre losing your audience in your syntax. perhaps talk a bit more like everyone else?"
His mouth tasted of bile. Did she even know what she suggested? "D --> I shall not now, neigh, not ever speak in the vernacular. To do so would shame my b100dline. It would be... indecent."
Cain woofed as Aradia rolled her eyes. Equius assumed, as always, that the bark meant assent. Then he growled. That... that was not assent.
He looked ahead. A bank stood across the street, a lone Prospitian standing outside with his automatic weapon. There was nothing suspicious about that.
"equius, look! theres a prospitian keeping watch outside of a bank in trolltown, and hes carrying an illegally modified weapon! theres something suspicious about that."
Huh. When she put it that way, it did seem out of place. Perhaps the guy was planning to rob the place?
"look, he has an ear radio!"
She was very observant, his partner. An ear radio meant communication. Perhaps he was waiting for more robbers to arrive so they could take the bank by storm. A militant strategy - Equius felt the advent of perspiration.
"i think theres a robbery in progress, and hes relaying information to the guys on the inside!"
Oh. Yes, that made sense too. Well, a crime was in progress. Only one thing to do. Having reached their police car, he opened the door to let Cain inside. The dog was useless in the kinds of crimes the two of them handled - the only reason they kept him around was because Aradia thought he was adorable. At least Equius got a good joke out of him. While at the car, he turned on the police lights. Crime required protocol, after all.
Time to deliver his plan. "D --> I will use my great STRENGTH to bridge the gap between ourselves and the malefactor. Upon crushing him like an insect, I will tear down the doors on the outside of the bank, and by the time of my completion, you will have caught up with me. At this point, the two of us shall e%ercise this newly created ingress and foil the plans of the would-be bankrobbers." It was genius, took into account every possibility, and could not be beaten. He didn't even need to wait for Aradia's espousal thereof, so he went ahead and jumped.
The wind blowing his hair behind him always made Equius feel additionally noble. From up here, he could look down upon the peasant population as he ought. He could dole out life and death as he saw fit. Or so he pretended - changing direction in midair turned out to be impossible, so no doling was to take place. At least he would get to trample the lowlife Prospitian. Once he landed, his great STRENGTH would make itself know in the brief firing of the synapses before the enemy's death. Yes, his imminent alighting upon the Prospitian's shoulders would change at least a few perspectives. Any second, now. Any second...
Why wasn't he landing?
Equius looked down. He appeared to have become stationary, an awkward position for the airborne. It had to be Aradia. Her psychic abilities were at least on par with those of hotshot Officer Sollux Captor, and she had probably decided to talk with the criminal or something before killing him. She was a difficult partner to deal with.
Sure enough, there she was in the bank parking lot. The Propsitian noticed her and then the flashing police lights in the school parking lot across the street. Quickly aiming his weapon at Aradia, he shouted, "Freeze! Get down!"
Aradia put her hands in the air, but she was probably still smiling. Equius couldn't see from his angle, but he would bet on it, were gambling not such a crude ventillation for some of one's more deplorable urges.
"whats going on here, sir?" Aradia asked in her cheeriest voice. It often made criminals more cooperative. Equius didn't like cooperative criminals. He liked them violent. Much easier to deal with that way.
The Prospitian straightened out his back and bellowed, "We're making a name for ourselves by robbing this bank. All of Alternia City will soon know the name of the Midday Company!"
Equius started to drift. Apparently, Aradia was moving him to right above the Prosipitian. Using him as a tool? How dare she? His sweat glands were making their presence known - his uniform was close to being soaked clean through. "wooooooow! thats really original! are you the boss?"
He shook his head. "Nah, that's Smooth Shovels. He's inside. I'm Carl D'Acres. Nice to meet you, but I'm afraid that I'm going to have to kill you now, you being a flatfoot and all. Nothing personal."
He put his finger on the trigger, but something made him pause. Perhaps it was a droplet from above? Equius couldn't be sure that he hadn't dripped a bit onto the guy. Whatever the case, Aradia let him fall, and the Prospitian was smoothly dispatched. "call for backup! im going to talk to them through the radio." She moved to snatch up the ear radio from the fallen thug, but Equius, already on top of the guy, got to it first.
"D --> Neigh, that dignity shall go to one more deserving, and more, one who does not drop his partners as though they were... some heavy refrigerator or bathtub or personal safe or something." He put in the earpiece. "D --> Surrender immediately, lowlifes!" A good start. Establish authority, that's what he always said.
The piece crackled in his ear. "Carl? Hey! What happened to Carl? Who are you?"
Equius's chest swelled as he prepared to announce himself. "D --> I am Alternia Police Department's Officer Equius Zahhak of the Department Of Overwhelming Force, descendent of the noble Zahhak b100dline tracing its roots back to-"
"You! We know about you! Big strong cop, always breaking things and stuff. But you're about to know about us, oh yes sir! My name's Shovels. Smooth Shovels. I lead this gang called the Midday Company, see? And we're gonna walk out of here with this money without you fuzz meddling, or else these hostages are gonna be sent to the other side, see?"
"D --> We care not of low caste hostages - e%pect your money hungry ways to come to an-"
"hostages?" Aradia interrupted. Great, her bleeding-heart ways would stop him from stopping crime yet again. What did collateral damage matter? He was the LAW!
"give me that!" The radio yanked itself from Equius' ear and floated to his partner. The very nerve! "excuse me? mr. robber, sir? did you know that there is a middle school across the street? could you perhaps consider not continuing to rob this bank?"
It was irritating not being able to hear the other end of the conversation, so Equius tried to block out Aradia. She was as lowblooded as anyone he had ever met, but no matter how hard he tried to impress this fact upon the APD, they would not reassign her. She was useful, to be sure, but that's what peasants were meant for. The problem was that she was also hampered him from time to time, one such time being that very moment.
"well, how about this? if you let the hostages out, well come in without our guns." She was trying to negotiate. Sometimes it worked for her, sometimes it didn't. This particular time she was avoiding giving anything up. The two of them didn't even carry guns. Such toys were unnecessary.
"really?" she said, grinning. It worked, apparently. This Midday Company must not have been too bright. "okay, see you soon. bye!"
Equius began to prime himself for action. "D --> Are we soon to intrude upon their robbery?"
"yes, but you have to wait a bit, first. the hostages are coming outside soon, and we cant have you killing hostages again." Would she never let that incident go? They did not clearly identify themselves as hostages, and besides, most of them survived. Who was truly at fault?
The doors opened, and a line of trolls filed out. A couple of humans were in the mix as well, and one Dersite. Equius wished they would hurry up. He was ready.
The ear radio was crackling again. Aradia smiled and took it out. "thats all of them! are you ready?"
Equius stamped his hoof... er, foot. "D --> STRONGLY so. As you can surely tell by 100king, I e%ude confidence and anticipation of this forthcoming-"
"me too." Aradia interrupted. "lets go!"
The metal doorframe twisted between Equius' hands, and a mighty wrench pulled it free altogether. Gunfire opened up from inside, but a psychic shield deflected the bullets. The two partners stormed the bank together, a torrent of physical and psychical wrath poured out upon evildoers. Another typical, easy day.
Aradia lives! Actually, by my canon, she's 26 in this story, which has got to be a record for her in terms of how far she's gone without dying.
Also, Malcolm Brown is a name I stole from the sound credits page. Bet you didn't think "Showtime" would be so popular that you'd get a middle school named after you, did you? :)
My second attempt at a silly fic, my first success at keeping it silly throughout. Equius and Aradia are good for that kind of thing. I think I'll tackle an Eridan fic next, maybe a short mystery or something.
My roommate came up with another dog pun. When he read "Equius assumed, as always, that the bark meant assent.", he said I could substitute "... the bark meant a scent." :D
there hasnt been any sorta business in this god forsaken office of despair for at least three wweeks. thats not countin the one time i had to go an fish that kids cat outta the dumpster that doesnt count for anythin the little wweasel only paid my a dollar that fuckin brat. on an added note pyrope an captor are keepin me busy cause they keep sneakin into my office an hidin my phone an other office shit wwhile im on break. i cant BELIEVVE they did the old jello trick i mean wwhat kinda soil suckin trash has the nervve to do that. not that pyropes that bad i mean teal aint somethin to scoff at but all this treatin me like a joke is really startin to wwear on a guy you knoww? anywway im startin to get all bitchy an the shrink says that aint good i think im done diffusin for the day an all. thanks journal evven though youre not a real person at all an its kinda stupid to address you like one.
=> Proper introduction
You are one of the top Problem Sleuths in the city. Solicitations for your service are numerous in quantity. Compensation, adequate. It is a balmy summer evening. You are feeling particularly hard boiled tonight.
What will you do?
=> Enter Name
Your name is Eridan Ampora, though it might as well be something humiliating such as “Miserable Failure” or “Massive Joke.” You really wish that you actually were a top problem sleuth, but sadly if the completion doesn’t end up stealing your clients the police does. You’re a good detective, too! You just don’t get it. People don’t have any sort of appreciation for your skill or your hardboiled-ness. You light up a cigarette and lean back in your chair, just to prove a point to the audience that isn’t there.
=> Someone: Interrupt Reflection
You are promptly disrupted from your reflection by your door being knocked in, straight off its hinges. In the doorway, as usual, stands Police Sergeant Zahhak, a sweaty fuck who you are honestly disgusted by. Begging the Police Station to let you open an office in the back of their building may have been less than hardboiled, and may have gotten you a few more broken doors than you planned, but it's better than tryin to open an office on a street corner. You could never afford the comfort of your own office, like your mentor once had.
“D--> Detective, you have someone here to see you”
What? WHAT? Oh gods, you weren’t prepared for this! You quickly fix up your hair gel, rub your eyes to make them exceptionally bloodshot, and clear your throat. Half the battle is presentation, that’s what your old mentor always told you. You run over the lines in your head, the lines that you’ve said to yourself restlessly in the middle of the night, running them over and over until the flow into your dreams.
“Send ‘em in” you reply.
“D--> I will send a work order in for your door immediately, I apo100gize”
“Right thanks you can go noww” you reply, as you can see the beads of sweat quickly pooling on Sergeant Zahhak’s forehead. That troll is so fucking weird.
It takes a little while, but after a bit a dame walks into your office, dressed in a modest shin length dress, a crisp red cardigan over her torso contrasting the blue dress. She has a look of controlled beauty, of someone who shines without being overtly gorgeous, someone fascinating and deeper than you can imagine. But she’s probably just another dame, playing a game to win your heart and get under your skin, working under the pretense of helplessness but in reality using her femininity as a cold scalpel to cut underneath your ruggedness and flay you alive, leaving you cold and out in the open as she walks away with her prize, a sick pleasure derived from her betrayal and your heartbreak.
You…you may be something of a hopeless romantic.
The rays of sunlight piercing through the blinds on your window glisten off her glasses, betraying the innocence that you saw before. Or does it accentuate it? Oh fuck this, you’re tired of these metaphors and shit.
“Detective Ampora?” she asks, as if she doesn’t already know.
“The one and only”
“Good, good. My name is Jade Harley. I want you to find out who killed my grandfather.”
Abrupt and to the point. No flirting at all. What an utter disappointment. Maybe you can still salvage this. Maybe you can truly show this girl that you’re hardboiled. Killing of relatives is no joke, so maybe you’ll end up with a car chase or two thrown in. Could be promising. You’ll have to hit somebody up to make a novel about it afterwords.
“Depends, babe, howw much are you willin to pay for it?”
Bingo, perfect. Give yourself a pat on the back, Eridan.
“It’s Jade. And I don’t really care how much, I have a job that pays rather nicely. Please, Mr. Ampora, I need to know. Just so I can be at rest.”
“I dunno lady ivve had a lotta business comin through here an i need to knoww howw much youre wwillin to pay.”
“Mr. Ampora I came here because you are one the of the most underrated detectives in the city! I know you don’t have any other cases!”
Damn. This bitch is really playin hard to get. Or maybe you’ve been looking at it all wrong? Maybe she’s secretly pitching black for you, and you didn’t even know? Oh god she’s a tricky one. What the hell is she hiding beneath her façade of being purely business? Is she trying to break down your defenses in order to get at the soft tongue of the tough oyster that is your hardboiled exterior? You…you think you’re starting to sweat.
“Detective Ampora? Are you even listening to me?!”
“I heard you, dame, and I think wwe can wwork out a deal. I’ll take 1,000 boonbucks for the case.”
“Really? Oh thank you! You don’t know how much this means to me!”
As a smile spreads over her face, you realize that she can’t stay serious for very long. Try as hard a she can, this Harley dame seems to be as giddy as they get when she’s happy. This could either work in your favor or be incredibly obnoxious. Nonetheless, you finally have a job, and god forbid if you mess this one you will most likely never get any business ever again. Your job and integrity are on the line, and this case will be solved.
Heh. Who knows? You might even get a girl out of it.
Yeah so this is the other story that was running through my head.
@ Keyong- Thank you so much! Gosh, I keep on getting such lovely comments. Thank you everyone, you are such lovely people. Oh, and I have an idea for a story, and one that I am currently writing, so when I am not busy revising for my GCSE's, I will finish that fanfic. c:
@ Huanir- I really like the interaction between Equius and Aradia. xD This is especially nice, and Aradia is NOT DEAD. (She's my patron troll, so I therefore find her forever awesome). I also adore the idea of a (admittedly useless) police dog!
@ Zebtrestalala- I really love the Ampora files, and I like how this story is turning out. I cannot wait for more, I'm sure it will be pretty good!
I walked the sidewalk up to Eridan's apartment. The place was old. Not ratty, but not classy. The colors were faded, the windows were dirty, that kind of thing, but there was no litter or broken windows or anything like that. A decent place. Better than his office, anyway - why didn't he just take his clients here? His car appeared to have a few bullet holes in it. The smell of rust around them indicated that they were somewhat old - no gunfights since our last date, as near as I could tell. What was the story behind the holes?
I knocked on his door - four raps, then one, then three, so he'd know it was me. I was expected, but I gave him the extra warning anyways. Poor guy couldn't smell through doors like I can.
The door opened, and there stood the man himself, Eridan Ampora. He was wearing an apron that said "BE NICE TO THE CHEF" on it. It was adorable. I hadn't had time to change out of my police uniform, and I caught myself wondering if that would bother him. Really, Terezi? I tried to fight down any and all nervousness. I was the breadwinner between the two of us, after all, and he was the one in the uncomfortable position of inviting me to his place for the first time - the poor guy was probably worried that I would judge him or something. Best not disappoint. >:]
Eridan smiled and took a fancy bow. "wwelcome, madame, to my humble abode." Still bent over, his smile turned into a frown. "i wwish i could say that sarcastically like evvery other mouth-breather that says it, but in my case, its true."
Silly Eridan, trying to do all of the judging before I could do it myself. "Y3S, 3R1D4N, YOU L1V3 1N 4 D1L4P1D4T3D HOL3. NOW M4K3 UP FOR 1T W1TH SOM3 F4NCY FOOD L1K3 YOU PROM1S3D."
He smirked. Oh? He seemed quite confident in his culinary skills. I liked his confident look, except when he was using it to suggest that he could out-detective me or something ridiculous like that. "wwell then, please come in."
As I walked in the door, I was hit with the scent of citrus. It was so strong that I suddenly had trouble smelling where I was going, and I walked right into an end table. That was embarrassing.
"are you all right?" Eridan was now wearing a concerned expression, or so I guessed through the haze of lemony freshness. That was the clumsiest he had ever seen me. It was very hard to avoid blushing.
"P3RF3CTLY F1N3." I pulled out my cane. I hadn't actually needed it for quite a long time. "YOU'V3 B33N DO1NG SOM3 CL34N1NG, 1 T4K3 1T?"
Eridan looked confused. Poor soul - how was the dear to ever make a detective if he couldn't see how the pieces fit together? "i touched up the place, yeah." I decided to keep my cane out and at the ready until my nose adjusted.
Eridan walked into the kitchen. I followed, but not so close as to get in the way. "YOU T1D13D UP TO M4K3 4 GOOD 1MPR3SS1ON, Y3S?"
Ever wary of my so-called mind games, he paused. "i cleaned up because i wwas expectin special company. nothin wwrong wwith that." Aww, he'd even wiggled a compliment into that.
"H3H3H3. TH4T'S TOUCH1NG, D3T3CT1V3 GR4P3 SOD4, BUT 1 H4V3 SOM3TH1NG 1N M1ND TH4T W1LL D3F34T TH3 PURPOS3 OF 4LL OF YOUR SPRUC1NG UP TH3 PL4C3." Pulling off my glasses, I looked right into his eyes (not that I could see, but this always helped keep people off balance). "1 H4V3 4 PR3S3NT FOR YOU TH4T M1GHT D1RTY TH3 PL4C3 UP 4 B1T."
Eridan looked at me for a few seconds, then turned away, blushing purple. What a filthy mind he had! As though I was talking about THAT or even in any way insinuating it. >;]
The pan on the stove started sizzling. I could smell garlic. Also pepper. Great, I was to be blind at the table, too. I toyed with the idea of making him feed me.
"ah, its done." Excellent.
The detective had really gone all out for me. There was a salad with a garlicky dressing in a big red bowl (the MOST DELICIOUS COLOR BOWL there was). There were also little apple slices in the salad; that would be interesting to taste. The main dish was spaghetti topped with a sauce comprised of tomato and spicy pepper - no meat, but that was okay. Garlic breadsticks were on the side, and he brought out a bottle of moscato wine. Had I ever mentioned to him that I liked that type? I didn't think so. He had good taste.
As we began to eat, I made him tell the story of the bullet holes. It was better than I had expected it to be. Apparently, Eridan had been chasing some crooks, and they had circled around each other so that they were soon using each other's cars for cover. The bullet holes came from Eridan's own gun, and his private investigator's income wasn't enough to warrant cosmetic repairs. It was a nice story, and it gave me an idea: apparently, his aim needed some work, and I was just the girl to teach him. >:]
I reached for a breadstick, but I caught a sniff of the spaghetti sauce, and everything disappeared. Great. I tried inconspicuously feeling for the plate, but I was apparently obvious enough for even this detective. I felt his hand on mine. He turned my hand palm-up, and then, as if by magic, there was a breadstick. I took another whiff of the room, and my nose cleared up. There was Eridan, blushing and wondering if he had gone too far. Adorable, and such a gentleman when he was being serious about it (though don't get me started on how crass and sketchy he is when he's NOT dating you - the guy just had a soft spot for romance). I wondered if he had made strong-scented food on purpose, but that was probably a step too clever for him. Still, if he managed to figure out why I was so clumsy today, then I would need to keep an eye out to make sure this didn't become a pattern.
Dinner was over all too soon, and I stood up from the table. "4R3 YOU R34DY FOR YOUR SURPR1S3, 3R1D4N 4MPOR4?" He smiled uncertainly and nodded. "ST4Y H3R3."
I stepped outside and walked to the street. Sollux was waiting in our squad car, back again after dropping me off. "you're early, terezii. date not goiing well?"
I'd have drubbed him with my cane, but I didn't want to ding the car. Besides, I owed him for this favor, and as far as I saw it, not drubbing him for his sarcasm was a perfect way to pay him in full. "JUST H4ND 1T OV3R."
He stepped out of the car and opened the rear door. There in the back seat was a young Basset Hound, leash attached to its collar. I took the leash and began walking back to the apartment. Sollux got back behind the wheel. "you 2tiill need a riide home toniight?"
"Y34H." I'd make Eridan drive me some other time. He had things to deal with tonight.
I walked back in the door with the little dog alongside me. I reached down, removed the leash, and set the little tyke loose to scamper to its heart's content. It took off, barking and wagging its tail as it explored its new home. Eridan got up from his chair, his jaw hanging. He knelt down to the floor to introduce himself to the little guy. "wwell, hello there! wwhats your name?"
The dog seemed to like its new master. It ran up to Eridan and reared to its hind legs, licking him in the face. The dog must have been psychic - I had wanted to do a little bit of that myself. >:] "TH3 N4M3 1S YOURS TO D3C1D3." I personally was fond of Justice. A good name in a dog. Or anything else.
Eridan stood up, apparently having grown tired of the face-licking. "a name, hm?" He wiped his face with his sleeve. Come on, Justice! "howw about shep?"
"1T'S P3RF3CT, D3T3CT1V3." Oh well. I could still teach him.
Shep barked, his tail wagging again. Eridan started talking about dog-proofing his pantry and what the best routes were for walks and the like. I walked up to him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. He saw it coming and blushed before I even made contact. The scent of the purple so close under the skin was mesmerizing. I rather liked this guy.
A Terezi/Eridan short.
I'd been meaning to have Terezi give Eridan a dog for quite some time now. I'll let you guys decide if it came across as sufficiently *awww* or not.
Note to all fanfic writers: every time you post a chapter, it's probably best if you disable smilies. Eridan's "e%ude" in my last one was yielding some strange character I couldn't recognize.
Also, this is the first fic I spell-checked! Isn't everyone really proud of me? :D
Next on my list, that Eridan mystery I keep saying I'll get around to. The thing is, mysteries require planning (The Resplendent Assassin notwithstanding), and work suddenly kicked into high gear, so I can't outline there. In fact, I'll likely be too busy/tired to do anything for this thread besides offer comments on how awesome everything is until Monday or so.
Your writing is very good. I miiiiiiiiiight be feeling a little jealous. But yeah, I'm curious as to where this is going to go. Do continue. :)
I'm moving my codebase here instead of maintaining it in a fic post. Apologies in advance if tools for this kind of thing are already widely available.
Please note that special attention needs to be given to Equius and Vriska for the instances this code will not catch (and worst yet, the false positives). Also, though it should go without saying, this code is not smart enough to inject cat puns into Nepeta's speech, horse/cow puns into Equius', etc.
Make sure that it's installed correctly and added to your system path; check this by opening a command prompt (Windows, Run, "cmd") and running the command "perl -version". If done correctly, you should get output that looks something like this:
This is perl 5, version 12, subversion 3 (v5.12.3) built for MSWin32-x86-multi-thread
(with 9 registered patches, see perl -V for more detail)
Copyright 1987-2010, Larry Wall
Binary build 1204  provided by ActiveState http://www.ActiveState.com
Built Feb 9 2011 14:38:22
Perl may be copied only under the terms of either the Artistic License or the
GNU General Public License, which may be found in the Perl 5 source kit.
Complete documentation for Perl, including FAQ lists, should be found on
this system using "man perl" or "perldoc perl". If you have access to the
Internet, point your browser at http://www.perl.org/, the Perl Home Page.
Now then, create two files, one called quirks.pl and one called translate.pl. Copy the contents of the respective code blocks into their respective files. Keep these files together (I know, I could have done a better job here, but I'm a Perl newbie; I use it for the regex tools). Use translate.pl to translate your files. You can add/modify quirks to your heart's content.
Let's say I write a story in a text file called terezitalks.txt. For all of Terezi's dialogue in the story, I mark it as follows:
Terezi said, "[d=terezi]I like justice![/d]"
Make sure terezitalks.txt is in the same directory as translate.pl. I then open a command prompt, traverse to the directory where these files are stored, and run the command "translate.pl terezitalks.txt". This creates the file translated_terezitalks.txt, with the following contents:
Just to let you all know, I'm not going to be able to have the time to finish my current fix for a couple weeks. My senior year is ending, and I need to focus attention on making sure I graduate with my very best.
I'll post my fic soon.
Ok, so here's a pretty rubbish story to go with the picture I made a few pages back. It's called *small drum roll*...
Out for a walk
It had been a long day, one of the longest he could remember. And for Dave, days were long enough already. He had lived through this particular day four times, knowing exactly what was about to happen three times as he had marched into the museum and performed the days heist. The crime had been (of course) completely irrelevent. The museum contained very little of value to him, and even if it had he would probably not have tried to take it. The heist had been, at heart, a distaction. He had danced through the museum four times, moving in time with himself as he stole or destroyed the museums least priceless items, usually hidden in corners but by chance moved just earlier that day to the main hall. The viewing public bore witness to a gang of men in suits burning the obviously priceless pictures and sculptures in the main hall, and went running to tell their friends, the news, and their employers among rival gangs. The bemused museum staff were left whispering themeselves that, really, as far as this sort of thing goes, it was pretty shitty.
The alibi had been fairly standard. the first Dave had leapt out the window and become the second. The second had run outside, to lead the pitiful museum security on a half-mile chase before becoming the third. The third had gone and had a drink after the run, then walked slowly back to the museum, right on time for the crime. The third had run downstairs and become the fourth, who was to lead the heist as "Alpha" Strider for the evening. He stayed the longest the fourth time around, loitering in the lobby until the police had arrived, making sure the cameras still just happened to have stopped working earlier that day. He had gone to the bathroom, and come out three hours earlier. The bag of clothes he had placed there earlier were waiting for him. He got changed, and climbed out the nearby window into the street outside.
Now here he was, walking back home through the cities largest shopping district. He turned into the nearby "PERSONAL COMMUNIACTION DEVICE" store, and loitered there in plain sight of the three cameras focused on the expensive merchandise. When she looked at the footage (and she would look, and see more than most sighted people ever would) she would smell the brilliant red coat he was wearing, far from the scene of the crime and dressed completely differently to the mysterious mafia who had desecrated the museum. Time travel was his Ace in the hole: they knew he had it, but they could never prove it. All they knew for sure was that he always had an airtight alibi for every crime, no matter how many eye witnesses could put him at the scene of the crime. He checked his watch. Time for him to go. Not that he needed a watch, he reflected. He was good with time.
Dave walked out of the crowded store and turned down the street. He wasn't a people person, not really. The only people he had ever called friends were now teamed against him or gone, and he spent most of his days making both sides of a conversation with himself just to pass the time. Now, most of his days he spent working, or locked in his pointless chess game with the city police, a game which had streached for months he played mainly against one person. It was a game he wasn't sure he wanted to win.
The problem with building yourself up as a feared criminal organization is that feared criminal organizations don't really make friends, Dave reflected. It was a double edged sword: the mistique and strangeness offered protection from far more intelligent and numerous enemies, but it had come at the price of any chance of a safe and normal life. He amended the thought: It was a broken double edged sword, because he wasn't really a criminal organization at all. He just acted like one.
Dave was shaken from his tired thoughts by lights at the end of the alley. Lights in red and blue, spinning in sequence around the corner. Dave wondered if that had been Officer Sollux's idea: it seemed fitting enough. Dave rounded the corner, and immediately slipped into character.
"hey officers. whats going on?"
It was them: The cities best and brightest, their boys in Blue and Red, the crimefighting wonders they called Terezi and Sollux. Since their partnership had begun, they had put over 300 people behind bars. Almost a scratch on the enormous underbelly of the city, Dave thought. A tiny scratch, but a scratch.
Sollux rounded on him.
"what briing2 you out 2o late?" Said the troll. "back from a 2troll two the mu2eum?"
"i was shopping. i need a phone to keep up with my fucklode of friends. us coolkids have problems too officers."
"SHOULDNT 1 B3 4SK1NG YOU TH4T?" She said, almost jokingly. "1 JUST C4M3 FROM TH3 MUS3UM. 4PP4R3NTLY ON3 OF OUR C1T3S M4JOR CR1M1N4L F4CT1ONS D3C1D3D TO BURN SOM3 P41NT1NGS."
Dave sighed internally. She was trying to get a rise out of him, something she could use against him. Either that, or she was just teasing him. He could never tell.
"sounds serious. must be the work of a criminal mastermind."
Her smile grew.
"W3 H4V3 4 GOOD 1D34 WHO 1T W4S. TH3 FUNNY TH1NG 1S, 4BSOLUT3LY NON3 OF TH3 H1GH PROF1L3 P41NT1NGS 4R3 M1SS1NG. FROM WH4T 1 COULD SM3LL TH3 P41NT1NGS TH4T W3R3 BURN3D W3R3 4WFUL."
"so youre saying a gang of criminals broke into the museum and cleaned up the collection? nice idea and all but jegus you guys need some sleep if you think thats something criminals would do."
The trick, Dave thought to himself, was to do things so out of left field that the police would feel silly to investigate them and go back to solving crimes. The good old Alternian fire drill. his brother had taught him that one.
Terezi seemed to know exactly what he was thinking.
"YOUR3 PROB4BLY R1GHT. DO3SNT S33M CR1M1N4L BUT PROB4BLY WORTH 4 LOOK 1N 4NYW4Y" Dave knew that she would follow it up personally. She always did.
"sorry to take up your time. i only wish i could help you more." Sollux had already returned to the car. Dave could hear him muttering to himself behind the wheel. Officer Pyrope brushed past him, her cane gliding smoothly over the ground and said, quietly "4LW4YS 4 PL34SUR3 STR1D3R. 1F YOU SUDD3NLY R3M3MB3R SOM3TH1NG COM3 S33 M3 4NY T1M3"
She got in the car, and they drove off. Dave didn't like the way she had said time. He didn't like it one bit. She knew what he was up to, no doubt about it. The real question was, how would she prove it?
Dave was once again shaken from his thoughts by the low rumbling of the late night bus rounding the corner. He shivered in the cold, and turned for home. He didn't signal the driver. Dave didn't like the bus driver, or the way he held up the skull he carried as a coffee cup when he made eye contact with Dave. For now, his feet would serve him fine.
Meanwhile, the police car pulled into the gates of the station, the lights shining off the dedication beside it. The mysterious donation which had granted the police use of the Yard as their premises was as mysterious today as it had been twelve years ago, and the Chief was reluctant to discuss the benefactor. Just a lucky break for us, men." he had said. "We won't be seeing many more in the future." He had been right: the police force had been granted one yard, and it suited them just fine.
From the police car, bickering carried loudly into the night air.
"ii 2tiill thiink we 2hould ju2t arre2t hiim! we have twenty people who report 2eeiing four of hiim for gog'2 2ake!"
Laughter echoed through the courtyard as the gate clanged shut behind the officers.
The day shift had ended ended. The night shift was beginning.
So, I'm not much of a Fan-fiction guy. Really, I've never liked anything which toys with the source material to make it anything other than what it is, and as such have never had the highest opinion of fan-fiction writers.
But not you guys! you're unabashedly rewriting the source material as your goal, which I find fascinating. Allow me, then, to explain the ways I chose to bastardize your favorite characters. To me, Dave's coolkid exterior has very little to do with what goes on inside his head. I thought about how damaging to a person it would be to exist mainly in your own company, choosing to isolate yourself in a city of people for whatever reason Dave has to do so. At the same time, Dave isn't really one to brood over something, and in my mind he turns his sadness and frustration into actions: a drive to do whatever it is he feels he must do.
Terezi and Sollux, I don't think I wrote well. Sollux is a bit player, I'm sorry to say, only there to demonstrate the contempt for Dave in the police force. I was never a big "Team Sollux" guy even back during Alterniabound, and nothing that happened in the story changed my mind about that. Terezi, I wrote as I think Terezi would act if she was faced with a friend who was also a criminal: Toying with them, testing them, but always the detective.
Also, I included the Busdriver and my most favorite pun on the word "Yard". If you can't tell who gave them their HQ, you don't read this comic. Ignore my headcanon here if you want, I won't blame you. Like I said, this isn't my thing, but if you think it was OK please let me know.
ONE DAY LATER EDIT: Wow, did I say something to offend everyone? I posted this last night, not a single post or reply in the 24 hours since then.
Last edited by Fire Goliath; 05-14-2011 at 07:37 AM.
Reason: COME BACK! I LOVE YOU GUYS!
Don't let it get to you, this thread can be finicky that way. I think the only comment I got on my Genetics story for the first four chapters was that I had a good update schedule. :P
RE Out for a Walk:
You're a good writer, and I think you do a really good job getting inside Dave as a character. If I have one complaint (and I think I have to, since this is a review or something?), it's that I don't know Dave's ultimate motive. The museum job was supposed to be... a DISTACTION, but I don't know from what, so I spent the latter part of the fic screening for information that didn't turn up. But then Terezi and Sollux showed up and appeased me in their own way. ^_^
Sollux was indeed a bit player, but Dave and Terezi are both main characters (in fact, in my stories, Terezi is more-or-less THE main character and the only one I'm comfortable writing in 1st person), so giving Sollux too much attention would have complicated things. I think he played his bit role well, too.
RE bus driver and yard: those were actually quite subtle. I like subtle threads woven into fics like that. I didn't even get the "Yard" thing until you wrote that it was a pun in your author's notes.
Anyways, I'd keep typing, but I'm hoping to get this posted before you sign off and, in doing so, brighten your day. Have a good one!
Congratulations! I loved my senior year of HS, and the whole graduation day was great. I got to give a speech in front of my class of >350 people and all of their families, and then I attended a grad night party my school sponsored that I got to go to because my English class got the money together for me when they'd heard I wasn't going because of cost. When I got back, it was past 5 or 6 AM, and I was too tired to feel sad (that's how these things often are). A couple of months later, college happened, and it was even better. May life forever rock for you!
Gamzee opened his eyes. Or perhaps they had already been open? It didn't concern him. Whatever the case, it was morning. Karkat was still asleep, though, and above his bed stood a huge bull with coal-black eyes, its steel hooves ready to trample everything.
Karkat was still asleep, and apparently having nightmares. The room was dark and otherwise empty. It was time to head out - it was a day in which important things were to be done.
In the living room, Nepeta was already awake, sitting on the floor by a bowl of cereal. She looked up and smiled. ":33 < *the huntress raises her head and watches her friend come out from hipurrnation, the long sl33p of winter finally over. she twiches her tail, eager to play with her newly awake friend, but first she n33ds to tell him that mr. pupurr sent them a letter from jail.*" She pointed to a letter that had been slid under the door, Mr. Pupa's signature wax seal identifying its source. It was covered in tar and oil, and the smell was so strong that Gamzee could hardly breathe. The nice floor was getting stained, and the slick was spreading - how could they ever eat off of the floor together again? Fortunately, there was a pail of suds nearby. Gamzee grabbed it in a rush and poured it onto the floor, and he started to reach for a mop to-
":33 < gamz33, my cereal!"
Nepeta snatched the letter from the milk-covered floor and put it on the counter. ":33 < we n33d to hurry and clean this mess up before karkat wakes up, and i wanted to eat that! (" Her disappointment was a boulder from the sky - Gamzee needed to get out before he was crushed. ":33 < where are you going? aren't you going to help me clean?"
The morning air was nice and cool even this late in the spring. Gamzee felt like he was tracking Mr. Pupa's pitch after himself on the sidewalk, but he couldn't see anything, so maybe it was imaginary? He didn't like the thought that he was leaving a trail, though.
Walking by a park, he saw an old human woman. She was feeding birds. She was also a bird, a bird in a cage, and the cage door was hanging open. The bird would soon be free. Miracles.
Past the park, Gamzee saw a dark alley. A lone homeless man across the street watched Gamzee enter it. There were hundreds of him, all crowding to sit on that one corner, and any minute now, they would begin to massacre each other. Or had they already started?
He ignored the man and continued down the alley. Whoever that man was, he wasn't going to report Gamzee to the police, so he wasn't important.
Gamzee was actually early this time. The ever-punctual Dersite, on the other hand, arrived at exactly the scheduled regular time. His face sneered with pride over how tough he was, and Gamzee could see the danger. It was a giant centipede, and its mandibles could eat through anything. This one was only a single leg, but Gamzee shuddered to think of what would happen if the whole bug were to descend upon him and his gang.
The members of the Midnight Crew (or at least the ones Gamzee had encountered) were not very talkative. That made things easier - Gamzee could never remember what he was supposed to say to things. He handed over part of his stipend from Mr. Pupa (was the money a bit oily? would the Dersite notice?), and the Dersite handed him a baggie with capsules of green gell. He pulled one out and downed it right then and there, putting the rest into his pockets.
Much better. With the sopor slime, he couldn't feel the rage against the cages that held all of the pretty birds captive.
He had only tried to quit once, back in the days before Nepeta and Karkat. After a couple of days or weeks or something, he had come to see the little birdies inside of everyone. They oh so wanted to fly free, and the longer he saw them, the angrier he got at the hard, cruel cages. Shortly thereafter, he was walking down an alley, and he saw a human woman being mugged by a pair of men, one troll and one human. The little birds inside them were flying around in a panic. This was wrong, so wrong, he couldn't stand to watch this anymore, he had to do something, had to break the cages and let the birds free. He roared or screamed or something (hard to remember), and then began to bash in the ugly metal jails, and oh how harshly their rusty frames squealed at it, but how beautiful the imminent release-
Gamzee had then blinked.
They were all twisted and broken, their blood splattered all over the alley. He looked at his hands. Covered in blood. It wasn't his. He had killed them, oh gog, he had killed them...
After that, Gamzee had run away and washed himself in a fountain or duck pond or something. He jumped a dealer, took his sopor, and never tried to quit again.
He had walked halfway home without realizing it. He was passing the park and looked inside to see an ambulance. They were carrying the old woman into it, but they weren't rushed. They too could see that it was just an empty cage. The pigeons watched him pass. They were as big as dogs, and their teeth scared Gamzee into walking faster.
Gamzee stepped back in the door of the apartment. Karkat was talking to Nepeta about something, some dream he had the night before about a cow or something trying to step on him. Nepeta gave Gamzee a little glare, but she would forgive him. She was pure and white, her heart covered by a brilliant pearl. Karkat, too, was a great person, the heavy slab of stone on his back the only barrier between happiness and tragedy. It was hard to understand how everything fit together, but Gamzee could see Karkat's sacrifices for Nepeta and himself, even if he didn't know what they meant.
The sopor capsules in this pockets were leeches, a writhing mass that threatened to flop out and suck out the happiness of the room. They would latch onto their eyes and draw out the their juices, and the three friends would not be able to see each other, would not be able to help each other out from under the masses of leeches that sucked them empty, and-
Karkat knew that Gamzee had a history with sopor, but he thought that it was over before they had even met. In truth, Gamzee had never quit, and that was his big secret.
Karkat's hands were grimy and dripping with oil. Gamzee looked to the counter - the letter had been opened.
"NOW THAT WE'RE ALL HERE, I WANTED TO QUICKLY LET YOU ALL KNOW THAT MR. PUPA HAS ASSIGNED US ANOTHER JOB."
Mr. Pupa? That man was scary. There was no little bird inside that cage. Instead, there was something else, something too horrible to even think about, and it could never ever escape.
No use dwelling on that, though. Gamzee sat down with his friends on the floor, and kind Nepeta slid him a bowl of cereal. ":33 < careful that you don't spill that," she said, giving him a small wink. Forgiven. Such dear friends they were. Smiling, Gamzee looked up to the ceiling, staring at the clock that only he could see and wondering what it was counting down to.
Yay! I'm done with all of the fics that I've outlined! I'm currently planning an Equius and Aradia fic. It might end up a few chapters, but it'll be pretty short overall and somewhat silly in nature (I hope).
So, completely contrary to what I expected, this was a lot easier to write than my previous one. Maybe it's just because I did this one early in the morning instead of late at night? Who knows?
Anyways, I have now sneaked RAGE!GAMZEE into this AU, and I don't think I can allow him to emerge without killing some major character or another (to do otherwise would be to undermine his legitimacy as a threat), and I don't want to kill any characters, at least for a while. I still need to learn how they interact with each other in order that I might know how everyone would react to the death. So... no tragedies just yet. Yay? Yay.