TROLL!COPS: The AU

**mythmonster2** · 05-08-2011, 12:33 AM

Oh hey look, some horrible explanation of my Dozeassin theory a few pages back, from first-person perspective nonetheless!

**tectonicRobot** · 05-08-2011, 08:22 AM

I really enjoy it whenever someone does anything with the felt.

Pretty much everyone ever discounts Doze, eh? So if he is actually dangerous, he could do some real damage...

**aspiringHelpfulness** · 05-08-2011, 09:05 AM

Here's a fic about HHT. (Yes, this is a serious fic and my longest yet)

The Law and The Enforcer:

Notes:

**Huanir** · 05-08-2011, 07:38 PM

Oh dear. I've just realized where I'm going with Pupa's plan.

That's months away, though, at the very least. I need a lot more day-in-the-lifes and different mysteries and such.

Welcome back, Wigmund (wait, is it silly for me to say that given that you disappeared before I arrived?).

RE mythmonster:

I like the use of metatextual formatting to convey the slowness of Doze. Conveying that kind of paradigmatic perceptual shift is extremely difficult in a non-moving-picture medium, so major props.

--EDIT--

Finally got around to reading the Sisters series. Redbird, you be awesome, and I would read more.

Also, I read kayak's fic Sewing and was flabbergasted. It was beautifully cathartic.

I luuuuuuurve this thread! ^_^

--ANOTHER EDIT, APPARENTLY--

Should I go back to my consecutive-post chapters and merge them into single posts? Or does the double-post stigma not apply to chapters of a fic? What should I dooo?

**pimudragonfeline** · 05-08-2011, 08:40 PM

I was so going to do a mother's day story but I am busy today and it needed background information from other fics I'm working on.

**Rational Absurdity** · 05-08-2011, 11:25 PM

Same here. Was thinking of something involving Kanaya for mother's day, but we had a family dinner.

**Fire Goliath** · 05-09-2011, 05:20 AM

Question: Does the Trollcops police HQ have a special name? Something like Scotland yard but troll themed. Tomfoolery yard? Alternia yard! I think it could be important.

**Cheers** · 05-09-2011, 08:34 AM

Originally Posted by Fire Goliath

Question: Does the Trollcops police HQ have a special name? Something like Scotland yard but troll themed. Tomfoolery yard? Alternia yard! I think it could be important.

If you want it to be a spoof of Scotland Yard it should to be to name it after Earth, as the city is named after Alternia.

Earth Yard
Gaia Yard
Terra Yard

Sadly non of the above sound cool and I don't know any other names for our planet.

**Redbird** · 05-09-2011, 04:51 PM

Yes, everything on this thread is awesome, as are the new stories! c:

@ Huanir- Thank you so much! I will definitely post some more stories, when I have time. I have an idea's for a few.

**keyong** · 05-09-2011, 08:29 PM

Man this thread is so good it made me stop lurking for a while! These stories are awesome! I read the entire thread over the weekend without stopping. I think my favorite was the Sisters (trilogy?) by Redbird.

**Namboto** · 05-09-2011, 08:32 PM

Finally some progress is being made on the second part of Tails...

MAN AM I SLOW

**Resf** · 05-10-2011, 01:29 PM

I have mentioned that I love this thread right?
Well if I have I'm just going to say it again.
I love all these new stories popping up, especially Redbird and Huanir's. I'LL JUST ADD MY PRAISE TO THE PRAISE PILE.

I feel that I have to post something when I comment, so...

HEY HEY LETS GO PICK ON THE DISABLEEEEEEEED.
Dread pirate Mindfang was never seen again.

**Huanir** · 05-10-2011, 08:40 PM

DOOF

A/N:

**zebtrestalala** · 05-11-2011, 11:01 AM

Ampora Files, Case 124

Yeah so this is the other story that was running through my head.

**Redbird** · 05-11-2011, 02:13 PM

@ Keyong- Thank you so much!

Gosh, I keep on getting such lovely comments. Thank you everyone, you are such lovely people. Oh, and I have an idea for a story, and one that I am currently writing, so when I am not busy revising for my GCSE's, I will finish that fanfic. c:

@ Huanir- I really like the interaction between Equius and Aradia. xD This is especially nice, and Aradia is NOT DEAD. (She's my patron troll, so I therefore find her forever awesome). I also adore the idea of a (admittedly useless) police dog!

@ Zebtrestalala- I really love the Ampora files, and I like how this story is turning out. I cannot wait for more, I'm sure it will be pretty good!

**Huanir** · 05-11-2011, 06:37 PM

Partner

A/N:

@zebtrestalala:

Your writing is very good. I miiiiiiiiiight be feeling a little jealous. But yeah, I'm curious as to where this is going to go. Do continue. :)

**sebastian** · 05-12-2011, 02:07 AM

A basset hound!? like Columbo's?

P.s. Do you think to include the "super heroes" in your canon? It is ok if you don't, but I think there is not enough Egbertman in this thread.

**Aquila** · 05-12-2011, 04:47 PM

Just a head's-up, the TrollCops RP is having a Roll Call next month.

We're going to be checking to see if the "active" profiles really are active or not, and the ones that aren't will be opened up.

Current open accounts are Mr. Pupa, Egbertman, and Caporegime Hearts Boxcars. Other characters are still available, besides those. Click the link in the sig to find out more.

**crepuscularDissembler** · 05-12-2011, 04:52 PM

Your signature exceeds 80 pixels in height.

Also dibs on Pupa

**Huanir** · 05-12-2011, 04:57 PM

I'm moving my codebase here instead of maintaining it in a fic post. Apologies in advance if tools for this kind of thing are already widely available.

Codebase:

Please note that special attention needs to be given to Equius and Vriska for the instances this code will not catch (and worst yet, the false positives). Also, though it should go without saying, this code is not smart enough to inject cat puns into Nepeta's speech, horse/cow puns into Equius', etc.

quirks.pl:

Code:

$aradiaalive = 1;

sub aradia {
    $str = lc $_[0];
    $str =~ s/'//g;
    if ( !$aradiaalive ) {
        $str =~ s/o/0/gi;
    }
    return $str;
}

sub aradiacolor {
    return 'a10000';
}

sub equius {
    $str = 'D --> ' . $_[0];
    $str =~ s/strong/STRONG/gi;
    $str =~ s/stronger/STRONGER/gi;
    $str =~ s/strongest/STRONGEST/gi;
    $str =~ s/strength/STRENGTH/gi;
    $str =~ s/strengths/STRENGTHS/gi;
    $str =~ s/strongly/STRONGLY/gi;
    $str =~ s/nay/neigh/g;
    $str =~ s/Nay/Neigh/g;
    $str =~ s/NAY/NEIGH/g;
    $str =~ s/loo/100/gi;
    $str =~ s/ool/001/gi;
    $str =~ s/x/%/gi;
    return $str;
}

sub equiuscolor {
    return '000056';
}

sub eridan {
    $str = lc $_[0];
    $str =~ s/v/vv/g;
    $str =~ s/w/ww/g;
    $str =~ s/'//g;
    $str =~ s/ing/in/g;
    $str =~ s/\b(an|of)\b/a/g;
    return $str;
}

sub eridancolor {
    return '6A006A';
}

sub feferi {
    $str = $_[0];
    $str =~ s/[hH]/)(/g;
    $str =~ s/E/-E/g;
    return $str;
}

sub fefericolor {
    return '77003C';
}

sub gamzee {
    $str = lc $_[0];
    $result = '';
    $len = length $str;
    $cap = 1;
    for ( my $i = 0; $i < $len; $i++ ) {
        $char = substr $str, $i, 1;
        if ( $char =~ m/[A-Z]/i ) {
            $char = ( $cap ) ? lc $char : uc $char;
            $cap = 1 - $cap;
        }
        $result .= $char;
    }
    return $result;
}

sub gamzeecolor {
    return '2B0057';
}

sub kanaya {
    $str = $_[0];
    $str =~ s/\b([a-z']+)\b/\u\L\1/g;
    return $str;
}

sub kanayacolor {
    return '008141';
}

sub karkat {
    # Yeah, that one was hard...
    return uc $_[0];
}

sub karkatcolor {
    return '626262';
}

sub nepeta {
    $str = lc $_[0];
    $str =~ s/ee/33/gi;
    return ':33 < '.$str;
}

sub nepetacolor {
    return '416600';
}

sub pupa {
    # Welp...
    return $_[0];
}

sub pupacolor {
    return tavroscolor();
}

sub rose {
    # Why...
    return $_[0];
}

sub rosecolor {
    return 'B536DA';
}

sub sollux {
    $str = lc $_[0];
    $str =~ s/i/ii/g;
    $str =~ s/s/2/g;
    $str =~ s/\btoo?\b/two/g;
    return $str;
}

sub solluxcolor {
    return 'A1A100';
}

sub tavros {
    $str = $_[0];
    $str =~ s/\./,/g;
    $result = '';
    $length = length $str;
    for ( my $i = 0; $i < $length; $i++ ) {
        $char = substr $str, $i, 1;
        if ( $char =~ m/[A-Z]/ ) {
            $result .= lc $char;
        } else {
            $result .= uc $char;
        }
    }
    return $result;
}

sub tavroscolor {
    return 'A15000';
}

sub terezi {
    $str = uc $_[0];
    $str =~ tr/AIE/413/;
    return $str;
}

sub terezicolor {
    return '008282';
}

sub vriska {
    $str = $_[0];
    $str =~ s/B/8/gi;
    $str =~ s/(.)\1{2,}/$1.$1.$1.$1.$1.$1.$1.$1/ge;
    $str =~ s/ate|ait|eight|aight/8/gi;
    return $str;
}

sub vriskacolor {
    return '004183';
}

sub colorize {
    return "[COLOR=\"".$_[0]."\"]".$_[1]."[/COLOR]";
}

############################################################################
#                                                                          #
# Original Characters                                                      #
#                                                                          #
############################################################################

sub kade {
    return lc $_[0];
}

sub kadecolor {
    return '5CB3FF';
}

sub mikey {
    $str = lc $_[0];
    $str =~ s/i/I/g;
    return $str;
}

sub mikeycolor {
    return 'FF0000';
}

sub suzie {
    return $_[0];
}

sub suziecolor {
    return '5555DD';
}

translate.pl:

Code:

do('quirks.pl');
open FILE, $ARGV[0] or die('Could not open file '.$ARGV[0]);
open WRITE, '>translated_'.$ARGV[0] or die('Could not open output file');

while ( my $line = <FILE> ) {
    while ( $line =~ m/\[d=(\w+)\]([^[]*)\[\/d\]/ ) {
        $newdialogue = getnewstr($1, $2);
        $line =~ s/\[d=(\w+)\]([^[]*)\[\/d\]/$newdialogue/;
    }
    print WRITE $line;
}

close FILE;
close WRITE;

sub getnewstr {
    $character = lc $_[0];
    if ( $character eq 'aradia' ) {
        return colorize(aradiacolor(), aradia($_[1]));
    } elsif ($character eq 'equius' ) {
        return colorize(equiuscolor(), equius($_[1]));
    } elsif ( $character eq 'eridan' ) {
        return colorize(eridancolor(), eridan($_[1]));
    } elsif ( $character eq 'feferi' ) {
        return colorize(fefericolor(), feferi($_[1]));
    } elsif ( $character eq 'gamzee' ) {
        return colorize(gamzeecolor(), gamzee($_[1]));
    } elsif ( $character eq 'kade' ) {
        return colorize(kadecolor(), kade($_[1]));
    } elsif ( $character eq 'kanaya' ) {
        return colorize(kanayacolor(), kanaya($_[1]));
    } elsif ( $character eq 'karkat' ) {
        return colorize(karkatcolor(), karkat($_[1]));
    } elsif ( $character eq 'mikey' ) {
        return colorize(mikeycolor(), mikey($_[1]));
    } elsif ( $character eq 'nepeta' ) {
        return colorize(nepetacolor(), nepeta($_[1]));
    } elsif ( $character eq 'pupa' ) {
        return colorize(pupacolor(), pupa($_[1]));
    } elsif ( $character eq 'rose' ) {
        return colorize(rosecolor(), rose($_[1]));
    } elsif ( $character eq 'sollux' ) {
        return colorize(solluxcolor(), sollux($_[1]));
    } elsif ( $character eq 'suzie' ) {
        return colorize(suziecolor(), suzie($_[1]));
    } elsif ( $character eq 'tavros' ) {
        return colorize(tavroscolor(), tavros($_[1]));
    } elsif ( $character eq 'terezi' ) {
        return colorize(terezicolor(), terezi($_[1]));
    } elsif ( $character eq 'vriska' ) {
        return colorize(vriskacolor(), vriska($_[1]))
    }
}

How To Use:

Windows:

First, you need Perl on your machine. You can install it from here: http://www.activestate.com/activeperl/downloads

Make sure that it's installed correctly and added to your system path; check this by opening a command prompt (Windows, Run, "cmd") and running the command "perl -version". If done correctly, you should get output that looks something like this:

Code:

This is perl 5, version 12, subversion 3 (v5.12.3) built for MSWin32-x86-multi-thread
(with 9 registered patches, see perl -V for more detail)

Copyright 1987-2010, Larry Wall

Binary build 1204 [294330] provided by ActiveState http://www.ActiveState.com
Built Feb  9 2011 14:38:22

Perl may be copied only under the terms of either the Artistic License or the
GNU General Public License, which may be found in the Perl 5 source kit.

Complete documentation for Perl, including FAQ lists, should be found on
this system using "man perl" or "perldoc perl".  If you have access to the
Internet, point your browser at http://www.perl.org/, the Perl Home Page.

Now then, create two files, one called quirks.pl and one called translate.pl. Copy the contents of the respective code blocks into their respective files. Keep these files together (I know, I could have done a better job here, but I'm a Perl newbie; I use it for the regex tools). Use translate.pl to translate your files. You can add/modify quirks to your heart's content.

Example:

Let's say I write a story in a text file called terezitalks.txt. For all of Terezi's dialogue in the story, I mark it as follows:

Code:

Terezi said, "[d=terezi]I like justice![/d]"

Make sure terezitalks.txt is in the same directory as translate.pl. I then open a command prompt, traverse to the directory where these files are stored, and run the command "translate.pl terezitalks.txt". This creates the file translated_terezitalks.txt, with the following contents:

Code:

Terezi said, "[COLOR="#008282"]1 L1K3 JUST1C3![/COLOR]"

This can be copied and pasted directly into forums, and voila! Automatic quirkification! :)

**Aquila** · 05-12-2011, 05:18 PM

Originally Posted by crepuscularDissembler

Your signature exceeds 80 pixels in height.

Also dibs on Pupa

oh what the fffff...

It should show up now. And you can dib Pupa all you want, you gotta apply for him.

First come, first serve.

**Rational Absurdity** · 05-13-2011, 12:04 AM

Just to let you all know, I'm not going to be able to have the time to finish my current fix for a couple weeks. My senior year is ending, and I need to focus attention on making sure I graduate with my very best.
I'll post my fic soon.

By the by, Huanir. Great entries, as expected.

**Fire Goliath** · 05-13-2011, 07:05 AM

Ok, so here's a pretty rubbish story to go with the picture I made a few pages back. It's called *small drum roll*...

Out for a walk

ONE DAY LATER EDIT: Wow, did I say something to offend everyone? I posted this last night, not a single post or reply in the 24 hours since then.

**Huanir** · 05-14-2011, 08:17 AM

@Fire Goliath:

Don't let it get to you, this thread can be finicky that way. I think the only comment I got on my Genetics story for the first four chapters was that I had a good update schedule. :P

RE Out for a Walk:

You're a good writer, and I think you do a really good job getting inside Dave as a character. If I have one complaint (and I think I have to, since this is a review or something?), it's that I don't know Dave's ultimate motive. The museum job was supposed to be... a DISTACTION, but I don't know from what, so I spent the latter part of the fic screening for information that didn't turn up. But then Terezi and Sollux showed up and appeased me in their own way. ^_^

Sollux was indeed a bit player, but Dave and Terezi are both main characters (in fact, in my stories, Terezi is more-or-less THE main character and the only one I'm comfortable writing in 1st person), so giving Sollux too much attention would have complicated things. I think he played his bit role well, too.

RE bus driver and yard: those were actually quite subtle. I like subtle threads woven into fics like that. I didn't even get the "Yard" thing until you wrote that it was a pun in your author's notes.

Anyways, I'd keep typing, but I'm hoping to get this posted before you sign off and, in doing so, brighten your day. Have a good one!

--EDIT--

RE RA:

Congratulations! I loved my senior year of HS, and the whole graduation day was great. I got to give a speech in front of my class of >350 people and all of their families, and then I attended a grad night party my school sponsored that I got to go to because my English class got the money together for me when they'd heard I wasn't going because of cost. When I got back, it was past 5 or 6 AM, and I was too tired to feel sad (that's how these things often are). A couple of months later, college happened, and it was even better. May life forever rock for you!

--EDIT 2--

Apparently I failed.

**AppleTree** · 05-14-2011, 10:03 AM

Originally Posted by Huanir

Sopor Somnolence

A/N:

this.

it

it.
;33

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