TROLL!COPS: The AU

[lakobie]

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yessssssssssssssssssss

[crepuscularDissembler]

@Katrika
....It is?

[Katrika]

The duder who started a moustache flame?

[crepuscularDissembler]

No, it's from this play "An Old Time Melodrama, Modern Style", wherein the cliche villain says that line.

[Deeum]

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That file name, haha. FOREVVER ALONE.

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If anyone gets this reference they will have my eternal admiration and love.

The reference seems familiar but can't put my finger on it.
Oh Tav, you're too adorable to grow an evil mustache.
---

Just gonna derp it up with a quick sketch.


I'll update the OP tomorrowish.

[Katrika]

Oh.

...shit.

[cyclicCircumferentia]

More icons!
All the icons are sketched and just need to be colored. So far I colored Terezi and Sollux:




Non-Animated Sollux Icon + Forum Sized Icons:
http://img839.imageshack.us/img839/1006/solcon.png
http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/4...llanimated.gif
http://img543.imageshack.us/img543/6186/solconsmall.png
http://img651.imageshack.us/img651/7650/terconsmall.png

[precariouslyAware]

Dx

Pie

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The fearless catburglar Nepeta eyed her target. The pie was cooling on the windowsill, and the delicious smell of pumpkin pie was too much to take. Glancing once from side to side, she swiped her hand at the pie and ran off, juggling the hot pastry in her hands. Gamzee loved pie! He’d be so happy! Scrambling through the network of alleyways, she was almost back ‘home’ when she ran right into a young man with square glasses and unruly black hair. The pie went flying and landed facedown on the sidewalk.

“x(( < oh noooooo”

Kneeling on the ground, she tried to scoop as many intact chunks she could find into the pie tin. They were covered in dirt, but she didn’t mind. She’d eaten worse. Before she could take off again, however, the boy grabbed the pie tin and dumped in a nearby garbage can.

“>( < hey! that was purrfectly good food!”

“look, i’ll buy you another to make up for running into you, okay?”

Nepeta hesitated. On one paw, the boy seemed really nice, and she was really hungry! Karkitty was sick, and he couldn’t go out and get food. On the other paw, she knew what Karkitty would say about taking charity from strangers. Even worse, what if this guy wasn’t really nice, but one of those mean people Karkitty was always telling her to stay away from?

“x(( < uuuum…i’m not supposed to take food from strangers unless it’s, um, a surpurrise.”

“you look really hungry. i just want to make up for my clumsiness. do you like seafood? who told you not to accept food from stangers? has someone been hurting you or starving you? i know someone who can help you if-hey!”

Nepeta dashed around the boy and peered in the garbage can. Seeing that the pietin had landed face up and was mostly still full, she grabbed in and ran off.

They were going to eat well tonight.

Kat, i LOVE your fics. They are always fantastic!

[Katrika]

Streetkid Gamzee needs more love.

Mealtime

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Karkat groaned and opened his eyes. He sat up, and his vision responded by flooding with dark circles.

Fuck.

He was still sick.

He stood up, swaying. Before he could tumble to the ground, Gamzee was there, propping him up.

“MoThErFuCkInG gOoD mOrNiNg. AfTeRnOoN. wHaTeVeR. yOu ShOuLd ReSt.”

“GOTTA GET FOOD.”

“NeP’s On It. MoThErFuCkInG mEoW. cHoW mEoW!”

The tall, lanky troll doubled over with laughter at his own joke, dropping Karkat on the ground.

“FUCK!”

“SoRrY.”

Gamzee knelt by Karkat, his grubby face full of concern.

“IT’S FINE. WHEN DID SHE HEAD OUT?”

“UhHhHh…DaWn. BuT, sHe’S, lIkE, aLrEaDy BaCk.”

Gamzee smiled spacily and handed Karkat a tin of cat food.

“MiRaClEs, RiGhT?”

“…SHE’S NEVER IN CHARGE OF THE FOOD AGAIN.”

It didn’t taste half bad, but that wasn’t the point. There was such a thing as basic dignity, and…

Who the hell sells high-quality tuna as cat food?

Gogdamn rich people.

[amnesiaDinosaur]

All in the name of DELICIOUS.

[naoe31]

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If anyone gets this reference they will have my eternal admiration and love.

I was thinking about drawing him with a mustache earlier... I'm really tempted to now.

[battlerek]

This thread

Okay here's another fanfic, this time with Sollux and Terezi.


Interrogation

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It was a good day for the force. Through months of investigation and the assistance of the vigilante Egbert Man a lieutenant of the felt was apprehended. Now it was time to pry as much information from him as possible, and to do that the best interrogators in the force were called to do their business. But since the APD didn't have interrogators, they'd have to settle for Officers Sollux Captor and Terezi Pyrope.

The door to the make-shift interrogation room was kicked open in what the kicker thought was a really badass way to open doors(it wasn't). A pair of grim-faced coppers entered the room, one of them carrying a heavy-looking staff that wasn't just for show.

"Leth geth down two buthneth, shall we?" said the copper with the assymetric glasses. "II would liike you two tell me where the reth of the felt are."

The felt lieutenant was staring blankly into space, as if Officer Captor's words didn't register.

"You're afraid that your friends iin the felt are going to turn on you iif you squeal, aren't you? Well don't worry, the polith forth wiill keep you safe."

Still no reply. It's as if time itself has slowed down to a crawl for him.

Sollux was feeling downcast. Playing good cop never worked, and it made him look like a complete idiot. Maybe it was time for a change.

"Uum, Terezii..."

"Y3S SOLLUX?"

"Why do II have two play the good cop? II always play the good cop!"

"BUT YOU'RE SO GOOD 4T 1T, SOLLUX! 4FT3R YOU'RE THROUGH W1TH THE SUSP3CTS THEY'D B3 SO BOR3D TH3Y'LL CONF3SS TO 4NYTH1NG!"

"Thath not helpiing at all Terezii... "

"OH F1N3 SOLLUX, YOU C4N PL4Y B4D COP JUST TH1S ONCE MR. 4PP3 B3RRY BL4ST."

Sollux smiled. He walked back to the captured lieutenant, and played bad cop.

The smile on his face disappeared, replaced by a scowl that was supposed to be intimidating(again, it wasn't). He placed two scrawny arms on the metal table in front of the suspect and leaned closer. "Look buddy, we can do thiith the eathy way or the hard way. Now spiill the beans or II'll spiill them for you."

"B34NS >: ?"

"Not helpiing..." He muttered, before returning to his interrogation. "Wiith guy, eh? Leth thee how long you'll lath with the hat triick!"

"H4T WH4T?"

Using his psychic powers Sollux made his and the suspect's hats float in the air. With a twitch of his fingers his hat landed on the suspect's head. The psychological torment this induces to him is so great that the suspect is frozen in fear. Or he still hasn't noticed he's being interrogated.

"Stiill keepiing your mouth thut, huh? Well how about II do THITH!" The hat on Sollux's head falls to the ground, and is then stomped mercilessly. Such acts of barbarity and cruelty to hats is a sight decent people shouldn't see.

"SOLLUX..."

"Stiill won't talk? Very well you're forthiing me to uth seriouth meathureth..." Terezi's staff flies from out of her hands before stopping just above the suspect's head. With a suitably (still isn't, and probably will never be) badass way Sollux lifts the staff even higher into the air and then... furiously taps the subject's knees.

">:I"

The suspect's lack of cooperation forces Sollux to use his most serious and morally questionable interrogation method of all. "Terezii II'm warniing you now. IIf you thiink II'm goiing overboard iith up to you two stop me."

Sollux's interrogation was really getting tiring right now. "WH4T 4R3 YOU GO1NG TO DO NOW, PL4Y SOL1TA1-" Then Sollux pulled out a gun. A really, really big gun.

"You know what thiith ith?" He walks around the suspect's chair, carrying his gun around in a (nope, still isnt') badass and intimidating way. "Thiith iith a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun iin the world." He presses the gun on the the suspect's head.

"SOLLUX."

"Wiith thiith gun II can blow your head clean off." He says in (for the love of gog, stop acting like this is) a badass way.

"SOLLUX."

"Tho ath youthelf thiith questiion. Do you feel lucky? Well do you, punk!?"

"SOLLUX."

"What?"

"YOU'R3 PO1NT1NG THE GUN THE WRONG W4Y."

He looks at his hand and sees that he's holding the gun by its muzzle"Oh..."

"N3XT T1ME 1 PL4Y TH3 B4D COP."

"

[Cyan the Red]

um...
first off, let me say how much i really, really, really enjoy this AU. like, if my enjoyment of this AU was to be measured in... measurements, it would be a metric butt-tonne. seriously. y'all are astoundingly hilarious. yes. just, yes.

so, um, i did a few sketches, just based off a few things i picked up. hit the spoiler for a pathetically meager sketch-dump.

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okay, starting off with this one, i guess it sorta took off from the whole 'Dave is a crow-warrior-vigilante' thing. if anyone has seen the movie Karas [the Prophecy and the Revelation], you'll get this:


A Dave from an alternate reality, kicked back through a last-ditch effort to save the city, Karas!Dave finds himself as the shitty-sword-wielding guardian of Alterniatown. Protecting the citizens from attacks of the slightly more spiritual kind, he takes his powers from Yurine!Rose [who also doubles as an Oracle-like figure when shes not dealing with this idiot] and deals with demons and such like a boss.
i suspect in this he's just finished saving Terezi from some unseen danger... and she doesnt quite know he and Dave are alternate people...


and now for something completely different,

consorts gone wild! The Turtlerobber, Nak the Nife, and Slimy Steve. i figure the consorts are more... petty criminals, the ones the cops apprehend more often than the other trolls. more kind of gritty stuff, i dunno.

carry on, ladies and gentlemen.
i'll just, uh, be over ... there.

[cyclicCircumferentia]

@Cyan: That Dave and Rose is awesome just saying.

And now I post sad art.

I tried to fit Gamzee in there but it kept on coming out awkward adhjbadhj. So you just get a Nepeta and sick Karkat.

[Thatoneguy]

Now now, Nak the Nife is a title more fitting for a more sophisticated Croc hitman.

[Marshmellow]

Why you all gotta be so awesome.

Just

Just

Gogdamn, people.

Anyway, stuff. It was pretty much inevitable that I would draw more Mr. Pupa.

hAVE SOME TEA, kARKAT, iT'S CHAMOMILE,

I didn't realize until after I drew it but I totally ship Karkat-Pupa.

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ALTERNATE CAPTION:
yOU SEEM TO BE ENJOYING YOUR TEA, uH, hAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE MOVIE, lITTLE mONSTERS?
FUCK YOU, PUPA.

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ALTERNATE ALTERNATE CAPTION:
HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP THIS TABLE SO CLEAN?
tHE TEARS OF ORPHANS,

[Cyan the Red]

Now now, Nak the Nife is a title more fitting for a more sophisticated Croc hitman.

oh, terribly sorry.
more like this?

[Shadow of the Lotus]

Consort villains are awesome; Nak the Knife particularly. For some reason, I can't help but think the turtle one would be a drug dealer (is that something ok to depict in this thread? It is about crime, and dealing in illicit substances is something that is illegal; well, by definition of illicit, lol). I guess just because I'd think the turtle one would be jittery and nervous and this screams 'drug dealer' to me.

[Wigmund]

If it's alright I came up with a really shitty city map. An incredibly rough version.

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I roughly divided it up into Wards with no further details on neighborhoods because I figure that's something people can work on as the Troll!COPS world develops more.

I'd love to write more about my horrible contribution, but Mr. Sandman is beating me senseless right now and I cannot think/explain stuff coherently at this time.

[Marshmellow]

If it's alright I came up with a really shitty city map. An incredibly rough version.

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I roughly divided it up into Wards with no further details on neighborhoods because I figure that's something people can work on as the Troll!COPS world develops more.

I'd love to write more about my horrible contribution, but Mr. Sandman is beating me senseless right now and I cannot think/explain stuff coherently at this time.

Is 'fucking' used as an adjective here, or are they just called the Fucking Mountains?
(i vote for the latter)

[inexpediency]

If it's alright I came up with a really shitty city map. An incredibly rough version.

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I roughly divided it up into Wards with no further details on neighborhoods because I figure that's something people can work on as the Troll!COPS world develops more.

I'd love to write more about my horrible contribution, but Mr. Sandman is beating me senseless right now and I cannot think/explain stuff coherently at this time.

Is 'fucking' used as an adjective here, or are they just called the Fucking Mountains?
(i vote for the latter)

Alternatively, it could be a verb.

Also I read "dock side" as "dark side"

[crepuscularDissembler]

I want to write an interaction between Vriska and Mr. Pupa, but I can't figure out what their relationship would be in this AU.
Thoughts?

[carbon-14]

baww sad art makes me sad
I think someone mentioned a illegal wizard lizard cult before? That should totally be a thing. Or they could also deal drugs from under their shady robes.
I also noticed that Sollux is kind of the only non-blueblood cop (if you ignore the fact that aradia was red before becoming robocop and don't count detective eridan etc) Not really important but somewhat interesting, I suppose.

ANYWAY have some more stupidly huge mspaint doodles

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[DaviTheEccentric]

Random idea dump incoming.

I want to write an interaction between Vriska and Mr. Pupa, but I can't figure out what their relationship would be in this AU.
Thoughts?

How's this? Vriska, being a bluh bluh corrupt bitch, has a little habit of shaking down the shop of poor crippled Tavros Nitram. You know, come in, make a few comments about how easy it would be to get the place closed down (maybe flirt a little, she's Vriska, threats and flirtations tend to blend together), walk out twenty boondollers richer. You get the idea. Mr Pupa says he lets her keep doing it so no one else tries to get protection money from the shop, but are his true motives more... romantic?
(Hey, they have/had that weird love/hate thing in canon, why not here?)

I think someone mentioned a illegal wizard lizard cult before? That should totally be a thing. Or they could also deal drugs from under their shady robes.

Why not both? You want the good stuff, you go to the Secret Wizards. Nine times out of ten you'll end up higher than you thought possible. But the tenth time you wake up days later with blood on your hands and your wearing a robe and the salamander next to you is welcoming you to the order and sweet GPI what have you done? Of course that never actually happens. It's just an urban legend, right? Right?

What, it's two in the morning. I have an excuse to be dark.

[Thatoneguy]

Now now, Nak the Nife is a title more fitting for a more sophisticated Croc hitman.

oh, terribly sorry.
more like this?

Yes. Very yes.