TROLL!COPS: The AU

[inexpediency]

You know what just occurred to me that im surprised didnt occur earlier
Vriska as "Mindfang" is a pirate
Dave as "Crowboy/bro" is a ninja

Ninjas vs Pirates




I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS ARRRRGG

It's okay

shh
only nonsense now

[crepuscularDissembler]

I messed around with the color scheme a lot.


A season two episode: "Calling Shots"- As the various forces of the city race against each other to capture or kill the Felt, we learn more about their reasons for doing so.

[cyclicCircumferentia]

@CD: Looking snazzy right there~
The color scheme is very nice!

I've been lacking in the art department for the last few days. My check out on Photoshop expired back on friday and I haven't been able to make icons and such! However I can still draw on my PC (but just doodles and stuff since I've lost much touch for SAI and OC and my Photoshop is outdated and silly) When I'm back on campus I'll be able to make full blown color art again~

Anyways, I bring you Feferi and some sad:



I'm not too pleased with how it came out. I just couldn't get the face I wanted, but I'm posting this anyways because I wasted an hour on it and it can't be for nothing!



Bluh bluh, sad Nepeta art I don't even know.

[inexpediency]

Nepeta you should really see a doctor about that :O

[QuetzaDrake]

Nepeta you should really see a doctor about that :O

She can't, she is an orphan and too poor.

[inexpediency]

Fear of the Unknown, part 1

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The station was dark, quiet, and empty--all except for two trolls, side-by-side at their desks and dutifully tapping away at the aging APD computers. Nearby an old TV, tuned to one of several local news channels with the volume low, displayed a young woman giving her latest report on the Cult of the Secret Wizards; on the table a police radio hummed with hollow activity. It was a slow night for crime, it seemed, and while good for the city, it meant that the two trolls in question were stuck doing paperwork.

"TH1S SUCKS."

Sollux looked up from his moniter, briefly, before going back to work. "we miight be out on patrol more often iif you laiid off the drubbiing2 every once iin a whiile," he said. Terezi's only response was a quiet cackle before the tapping of her keyboard began again.

The silence stretched on for another hour, the trolls becoming increasingly tense, before Terezi paused, reaching over to turn up the volume on the scanner.

"...that's...reported shooting at 440 Elm Street, units in the area respond..."

Terezi looked up at her partner, but he shook his head.

"that'2 halfway two fort 2kaiian. let 2omeone el2e handle iit."

She sighed, but returned to her work, not paying particular attention to anything on the screen and instead giving increasing focus to the radio. Crimes in the Settlements always interested her, mostly because of--

"D1D YOU H34R TH4T?"

"hear what?"

"1T S41D SOM3TH1NG 4BOUT--"

She was interrupted by a frantic knock on the entrance doors, followed by the fast and fading sound of footsteps. The officers looked at each other questioningly. They never got citizens this late, and any of their fellow police wouldn't need to knock.

Terezi grabbed her cane, resting against the chair beside her, and made her way to the ornate wooden doors. Slowly, she pulled one open, and stuck her nose out with a cautious sniff.

It smelled...sweet. And powdery.

And it was crying.

Sollux stiffened at the sound, and crept up behind her. The source of the knocking was nowhere in sight; the street was completely empty for as far as he could see.

Finally he looked down.

"ii2 that a...baby?"

Terezi leaned over to pick up the sweet-powdery thing, wrapped in a dingy blueberry blanket and lying in a beat-up car seat on the concrete step.

"SUR3 SM3LLS L1K3 ON3."

Sollux sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"...2hiit."

aka babyfic

[Redikalus]

I got another fic going and I wanted to post something tonight.
Buuuuuut... it turned out to be another long one and it's not quite finished so I'll post this one in parts.

Egbertman vs Feferi Peixes part 1

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It was a bright day in Alternia City and Egbertman was doing a routine patrol. Gazing at the skyline of the Glass City as he flew, he couldn’t help but smile. He loved this city. He had so many good friends here and it had so many interesting sites. But he was saddened by the need for this persona, if only the city would have just one peaceful day, he would be much happier.
Egbertman shifted his course and drifted towards Dockside. This area of the city was most beautiful at this time. The sun just rising up, half of it above the horizon, spreading multicolored light across the bay. the smell of the sea fresh in the air, before any major activity at the docks corrupt the smell. The wildlife, such as the countless seagulls, the magnificent pelicans, the flying whales.
Wait, what?
The whale slammed into Egbertman and pushed him down towards the buildings below. He had to expend much of his mangrit, but he was able stop their descent just as the tips of buildings were beginning to tickle his back. It was just as he finished stabilizing his altitude when Egbertman noticed that the whale had a rider. As the rider climbed down the side of the whale he noticed they had a double ended trident strapped to their back and then he recognized who it was: Feferi Peixes, the mayor’s daughter.
As Feferi was reaching Egbertman, she pulled out her trident and took a jab at him. Egbertman twists himself in order to avoid getting impaled and loses hold on the whale. He watched in horror as the whale began crashing down towards the buildings. Feferi lept from the whale and landed upon the top of the tallest building. She waited for the whale to almost completely pass her before grabbing hold of its tailfin and heaving it through the air. Egbertman breathed a sigh of relief when the whale was prevented from destroying many buildings, but he returned to horror when he saw Feferi swing the whale around and launch it back at him.
Jegus, she must be even stronger than he was.

*****

Marquise Spinneret Mindfang, captain of the Mindfang pirates, watch the ensuing battle with glee. It was about time that blue-boy was on the receiving end of fish-girl’s wrath and not her magnificent pirate ship. She was so engrossed in watching the battle that she barely noticed the feathery figure bring down her nearest crew and advance on her. Fortunately for her, the figure was not aiming to kill her, at least not yet. As the cries of her crew finally reached her ears, she spun around only to find a blade at her throat, held by a man wrapped in a cloak of feathers.
Crow8oy!!!!!!!!
its crowbro
and you have three seconds to stop controlling egbertman or feferi, whichever youre controlling, before i paint your ship blue with blood
Pfffffffft. I wish I had a hand in this!
yeah
not buying it
Pleeeeeeeease!!!!!!!! As weird as it sounds, miss fishface over there is too strong-wiiiiiiiilled!
It must 8e her potent 8loooooooodline!
and egbertman
You know I can’t control humans!!!!!!!! I can only put them to sleep! And 8lue-8oy over there definitely isn’t asleep ::::P.
oh
right
Crowbro apparently had forgotten about that little fact about Mindfang’s powers. As he realized this, he felt embarrassment about forgetting something that important and his blade lowered an inch or two. Mindfang was quick to exploit this weakness.
Speaking of whiiiiiiiich…
Her hands shot to her forehead and she wore a wicked grin on her face. Before Crowbro could react, his world went black.

Hopefully I'll have part 2 up sometime late tomorrow and hopefully part 2 will be the final one.

Also:
@Wigmund: Love Orientation, especially Terezi's last lines. Good to know that as much corruption APD has, there are still those who serve its original meaning.
@CD: Definately liking Eridan's face in Clueless
@CC: Is it bad that I still find Nepeta adorable even when she's covered in her own blood?
@inexpediency: That last line made me laugh, I like where this fic is going.

[crepuscularDissembler]

The nice thing about Eridan is that you don't have to worry too much about drawing him too weirdly. It seems to be generally accepted that his face habitually makes ridiculous expressions. (The same goes for Karkat with rage and Vriska with trollface.)


Currently trying to use some of the terms in this list to make season 2 episode titles.

[flutterShy]

With all the bullshit they have to deal with in the APD, you have to wonder what goes on during the recruit's
Orientation

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Detective Terezi Pyrope strode across the front of the meeting room that housed the latest recruits into the Alternia City Police Department. She strode across the front of the meeting room, stopped in the center and spun to face the crowd that had gathered to watch. Detective Pyrope clutched her cane behind her back and gave her trademarked grin to the entire room. Several of the recruits scooted back in their chairs involuntarily, earning them laughter from the ranking officers and detectives that had gathered to watch her session along with them.

Along with the recruits and herself, she noticed that Officers Captor, Sekret and Megido, the plains-clothes Detective Eridan and Sergeant Zahhak as well as several others were there. She smiled, this was good, no need to have the recruits chase them all down to learn their faces later.

And with that final thought, Terezi steeled herself and began the orientation.

"W3lcom3, r3cru1ts, to th3 gr34t3st pol1c3 d3p4rtm3nt 1n th3 world. You 4ll 4r3 now proud m3mb3rs of th3 4lt3rn14 C1ty Pol1c3 D3p4rtm3nt.
Congr4tul4t1ons."

She paced across the front of the hall as she went through the standard spiel about their duties and responsibilties, the standard stock phrases from the HR department, told them about donations to the Widows And Orphans Fund, repeated what they must have heard hundreds of times during training about treating the scum of the city with respect, and so on. Standard stuff, but this wasn't why everyone liked to have Pyrope do orientation, what she went into next.

"4lr1ght, now th4t w3'v3 gott3n through 4ll th4t bor1ng bullsh1t."
This helped the room wake back up and lightened the mood in preparation of what was to come.
"Now, 1'm go1ng to g1v3 you 4ll th3 low-down 4bout th3 sorry fuck1ng st4t3 th3 c1ty 1s 1n 4nd wh4t you 4ll n33d to do to surv1v3 1t 4nd do your jobs w1thout worry1ng 4bout pull1ng from the WOF."

Terezi pulled out a remote and turned on the projectors at the back of the room. Up across the front of the meeting hall, two projections came up with Terezi standing in between them. On the left was a map of the city with the wards shown in a veritable rainbow of colors. At the moment, the right side was blank.

"1 4m now go1ng to show you wh4t you 4r3 f4c1ng out th3r3 b3s1d3s your st4nd4rd cr1m1n4ls 4nd cr4z3d consorts."
She pushed a button and the blank screen changed to show three individuals.
"F1rst up 1s th3 so-c4ll3d 'K4rk4t G4ng'. Th3y 4r3 l34d by th3 guy 4t th3 front of th1s p1cture, K4rk4t V4nt4s. Th3 oth3r two 4r3 th3 c4tburgl4r, N3p3t4 L31jon, 4nd th3 drugg3d-out clown, G4mz33 M4k4r4. Th3s3 guys 4r3 your st4nd4rd sm4ll g4ng 4nd th3y l1m1t th3ms3lv3s - usu4lly - to p3tty cr1m3s 4nd qu1t3 l1t3r4lly c4tburgl4ry."
The picture changed to show the three running away from Officers Captor and Pyrope. Nepeta was carrying a large sack overflowing with cats. The room broke out in laughter.
"1 w1ll w4rn you r3cru1ts though: B3 C4R3FUL WH3N 4PPRO4CH1NG TH1S G4NG. K4rk4t h4s 4 n4sty t3mp3r probl3m 4nd h3 h4s s3nt s3v3r4l off1c3rs to th3 hosp1t4l 4ft3r th3y rough3d up h1s f3llow g4ng m3mb3rs."
The right hand slide changed to show Karkat and Gamzee in a cat-themed car speeding away from the Officers in the previous picture.
"[color="008282]4lso, N3p3t4 4pp4r3ntly h4s th3 4b1l1ty to turn 1nto 4 c4r.[/color]"
Laughter again erupted and Officer Sollux Captor could be seen covering his face in shame. Terezi pushed a different button on the remote and the map changed so the Settlements and Dockside were highlighted.
"Th3 K4rk4t G4ng pr1m4rily op3r4t3 1n th3s3 r3g1ons. But 4s 1 w1ll po1nt out l4t3r, th1s 1s not 4lw4ys tru3."

Officer Pyrope raised her hands to quiet the room and then press the remote. The right screen changed to show the silhouettes of four Dersites, four playing card symbols were suspended above them. The map now highlighted the entirety of the Narrows as well as the Lost District.
"Th1s 1s th3 M1dn1ght Cr3w. 4s you c4n s33, th3y op3r4t3 w1th1n Th3 N4rrows. But w3 strongly susp3ct th3y h4v3 op3r4t1ons runn1ng out of th3 Lost D1str1ct, wh3r3, qu1t3 fr4nkly, w3 just don't go und3r 4NY c1rcumst4nc3s."
"4s you c4n s33 th3 cor3 m3mb3rsh1p of th3 M1dn1ght Cr3w 4r3 th3s3 four D3rs1t3s. Th3y 4r3 4s follows: Sp4d3s Sl1ck, th3 g4ng's l34d3r; D14monds Droog, th31r m4st3rm1nd of th3 v4r1ous h31sts th3y pull; H34rts Boxc4rs, th31r pr1m4ry 3nforc3r 4nd muscl3; and Clubs D3uc3, th3 l34st-v1ol3nt m3mb3r 4nd th3ir d3mol1t1ons 3xp3rt."
The right screen changed, this time showing a female Prospitan.
"Th1s 1s Ms. P41nt, sh3 op3r4t3s 'Th3 P41nt Job' 1n Th3 N4rrows wh1ch 1s b3l13v3d to b3 th3 MC's b4s3 of op3r4t1ons though w3 h4v3 y3t to f1nd 4ny off1c4l l1nks prov1ng th1s b3yond h3r known r3l4t1ons w1th Sp4d3s Sl1ck."
Terezi walked to the first row of recruits and slapped her cane on the long table they were all sitting at, forcing everyone in the room to jump in shock.
"1 w1ll w4rn you now r3cru1ts, und3r no c1rcumst4nc3s 4r3 4ny of you to 4ppro4ch, h4r4ss or 3v3n th1nk 4bout 4rr3st1ng th3 m3mb3rs of th3 M1dn1ght Cr3w."
The right screen changed to show a mangled body. Only the blood-covered badge identified it as a former member of the APD.
"1f you f1nd yours3lf f4c1ng th3 Cr3w, 1mm3d14t3ly c4ll 1n 31th3r Off1c3r C4ptor 4nd mys3lf or Lt Z4hh4k 4nd Off1c3r M3g1do to h4ndl3 th3 s1tu4t1on 4nd th3n qu1ckly l34v3 th3 sc3n3. W3 w1ll h4ndl3 th3m."
"1n f4ct r3cru1ts, 4ll you h4v3 to do 1n such s1tu4t1ons 1s to cont4ct d1sp4tch wh1ch 1s op3r4t3d by Off1c3r Vr1sk4 S3kr3t 4nd t3ll h3r 1t 1s th3 M1dn1ght Cr3w 4nd sh3'll g3t 4hold of us."

Terezi went through several other gangs. The Strider Mafia and The Felt both operating out Old Town. The Mobster Kingpin Mob that tried to run Foundry. The Mindfang Pirates which plagued the waters surrounding Alternia City. The Cult of the Secret Wizard which was based out the Lost District. Each one came with the same warnings as the Midnight Crew, don't approach - call in one of the senior officers and then run.

The last gang to be shown on the right side of the screen wasn't a gang at all, but the silhouette of troll with massive horns and what appeared to be a top hat. The entire city on the left screen flashed in agony.

"Th1s...1s th3 most v1ol3nt 4nd f34r3d cr1m1n4l w3 h4v3 to d34l w1th. Th1s 1s th3 cr1m1n4l ov3rlord, Mr Pup4."
Several of the recruits gasped. Mr Pupa's villainy was well known and what he did to those that crossed him - especially members of the APD - even more so.
"Th1s m4n 1s our s1ngl3 gr34t3st c4us3 of h34d4ch3s 4s h3 us3s both th3 K4rk4t G4ng 4nd th3 C1ty's v4st popul4t1on of consorts to r34ch 3v3ry s1ngl3 p4rt of 4lt3rn14 C1ty. W3 3v3n r3c31v3d word from Fort Sk414n th4t h3 1s susp3ct3d to b3 b3h1nd 4 r41d on th3ir R&D f4c1l1ty."
Terezi walked up to the tables again and stared disconcertingly at the recruits.
"Th3 w4rn1ngs 1 g4v3 you 4ll 34rl13r 4bout not try1ng to h4ndl3 th3 v4r1ous g4ngs yours3lv3s, 1nst34d g3tt1ng on3 of us s3n1or off1c3rs, go3s doubly so w1th th1s f1end."
Terezi turned around to face the projections and both sides changed. The left now showed a meek and pathetic troll in a wheelchair. The other side was an actual picture of Mr Pupa, standing tall and proud on a pair of robotic legs and wearing a monocle in addition to his top hat. The recruits all noticed very striking similarities between the two.
"Now, th3 1nd1v1du4l on th3 l3ft 1s th3 sol3 1nh3r1tor of th3 v4st N1tr4m fortun3 4ft3r th3 myst3r1ous d34th of h1s p4rents, T4vros N1tr4m. Th3 p3rson on th3 r1ght 1s Mr Pup4."
"Now you m4y not1c3 th4t th3r3 4r3 v3ry str1k1ng s1m1l4r1t13s b3tw33n Mr N1tr4m 4nd Mr Pup4. 1gnor3 th3s3. Th3y 4r3 not th3 s4m3 1nd1v1du4l."
She whipped out her cane to point out the wheelchair that Tavros Nitram used.
"4s you c4n s33, T4vros 1s cr1ppl3d 4nd p4th3t1c wh1l3 Mr Pup4 1s most c3rt41nly not. 4lso, Mr Pup4 l1k3s to w34r 4 top h4t 4nd monocl3 wh1l3 T4vros do3s not."
Everyone in the room gave Terezi confused and questioning looks.
"Y3s, 1 know th4t's 4 lo4d of bullsh1t, but th4t's th3 ord3rs not only from th3 Comm1s1on3r, but 4lso C1ty H4ll."


Terezi changed the projections to show several costume clad individuals. One was a female troll dressed in a black swimsuit and goggles with what appeared to be six mechanical tentacles projecting from her back, then there was a boy clad in a blue hoodie, then a man in what appeared to be crow-themed ninja garb and then finally a woman in what for lack of a better word was green witch's garb.

Terezi spun back around and smiled once again at the recruits, most of them visibly relaxed after the tense and frightening review of the major gangs that would use their innards to decorate lonely alley ways if they met them without back up.

"Now to som3th1ng much l1ght3r, our r3s1d3nt sup3rh3ro3s 4nd sup3rv1ll41ns."
Terezi walked around the room to stand next to Officer Captor, who was blushing brightly for some odd reason.
"Th3 f1rst 1nd1v1du4l you s33 up th3r3 1s "Th3 Cuttl3f1shCull3r", sh3 fl1ps const4ntly b3tw33n b31ng 4 v1ll41n 4nd 4ss1t1ng us on som3 c4s3s. 1t just d3p3nds on wh4t h3r mood 1s 4nd wh4t's go1ng on."
Terezi started to giggle as she continued and so did several of the other senior officers, except for Officer Captor who was now covering his face with his hat.
"R3cru1ts, 1f you h4pp3n to run 4cross Th3 Cull3r wh1l3 out on p4trol or 1nv3st1g4t1ng 4 cr1m3 sc3n3, just g3t 4hold of Offic3r Sollux 'Lov3rboy' C4ptor r1ght h3r3. Sh3's just look1ng for 4 rom4nt1c d4t3 w1th h1m."
Now the recruits started to laugh, but Sollux whipped the hat from his face, eyes glowing and everyone in the room shut up.
"Oh c4lm down Off1c3r 4ppl3b3rry Bl4st, you two 4r3 so cut3 tog3th3r."

"4lr1ght, our n3xt 'h3ro' 1s th3 fool 1n th3 blu3 hood13. 3gb3rtm4n."
Terezi walked back over to the projections and used her cane to point the fool out.
"H3's 4ctu4lly qu1t3 h3lpful 4nd h4s prov1d3d 3xc3ll3nt 4ss1st4nc3.
Don't worry 4bout h1m."

"N3xt 1s th3 v1g1l4nt3 known 4s "CrowBro" or "Crowboy" d3p3nd1ng on wh3th3r or not you w4nt h1m to k1ck your 4ss 1f you m33t h1m f4c3 to f4c3."
Terezi rubbed a hand lovingly over the projection of CrowBro and sighed.
"W3 don't h4v3 4 lot of d34l1ngs w1th CrowBro, just w1th wh4t h3 l34v3s b3h1nd of cr1m1n4ls h3 g3ts 4hold of."

"F1n4lly, w3 h4v3 th3 gr33n-cl4d w1tch, Sp4c3l4ss."
Terezi looked at the final figure being shown and scratched her head.
"W3ll, fuck. W3 4ctu4lly don't know 4 whol3 lot 4bout h3r. Sorry"

And with that, she hit the remote again to turn off the projectors and bring back up the lights.

"4lr1ght, 1 1m4g1n3 34ch 4nd 3v3ryon3 of you r1ght now 1s wond3r1ng 3x4ctly why d1d you both3r b3com1ng 4 pol1c3 off1c3r 1n 4lt3rn14 C1ty 1f th3r3 1s so much th4t w3 31th3r don't d34l w1th, c4n't d34l w1th or 4r3 pr3v3nt3d from d34l1ng w1th by thos3 w1th th3 4ctu4l pow3r 1n th1s h1v3 of scum 4nd v1ll41ny. 1s th4t r1ght?"
Almost every single recruit nodded. A couple looked worried.
"W3 m4y not b3 4bl3 to d34l w1th th3 m4jor probl3ms f4c1ng th1s c1ty, but w3 c4n st1ll d34l w1th th3 sm4ll on3s. Th3 probl3ms th4t 4ctu4lly 4ffl1ct th3 h4rd-work1ng p3opl3 who just try to m4k3 4 l1v1ng 1n 4 cru3l world. W3 prot3ct th3m from th3 d4rkn3ss."
Terezi walked forward, hands behind her back. The senior officers that were previously hanging out at the back of the room all gathered behind her.
"R3m3mb3r R3cru1ts, you h4v3 jo1n3d 4 proud 4nd 1llustr1ous broth3rhood. 4n Org4n1z4t1on th4t 1s not h3r3 to s3rv3 th3 m1ghty, but to prot3ct th3 w34k 4nd down-trodd3n. W3 4r3 th3 sh13ld of th3 1nnoc3nt. R3m3mb3r th4t 4nd s3rv3 thos3 who n33d you proudly."
She and the senior officers then all saluted the recruits.
"Now, r3port to your 4ss1gn3d st4t1ons to r3c31v3 your f1rst t4sks 4nd m4k3 us proud."

Probably not as good as what was originally in my head.

Congratulations Wigmund, as Feferi's AU!RPer, this is now most of my headcanon for her and how she deals with the cops.

(Also sollux blushing, am I allowed to EEEEEeeeeeeeeee over here!)

[jellinScyphozoa]

So I thought I would post a sad story.
Don't hurt me, I don't usually write for this thread but I want to. :v

Simply No Way.

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She'd heard the news. It wasn't that she didn't believe it, she knew it wasn't true! What a silly thing to say, how could she believe such a perpawsterous thing like that?

There was simply no way~!

There was.. No way.. right?
Gamzee's..
He's not dead! How silly! Silly, silly!

Nepeta had been sitting on the orphanage doorstep for a few hours now. She was waiting for him to come home. They said they'd taken him somewhere. Some kind of home? In some huge casket thing! But she knew he'd be back soon.

In her grasp was a small little black box with a purple bow on it. She'd wrapped it especially for him. It was super important that she give this to him, she'd saved up money for months and months for this.

But her smile was starting to fade. The briefest sting of tears was in her eyes. She couldn't believe this, not now. This is silly. This is.. This is stupid.

She looked up at the sky, the clouds were thickening. They began dropping the smallest of raindrops on her. One hit her nose, making her sneeze a little. She looked back down the road that came to the orphanage and a car was coming. A car!

It's him! It's him! They brought him back! He's here! He's not dead, she knew it!

The car pulled up, parking in the space directly in front of her. Out of the backseat came Karkat, but after he got out of the car, it drove away. She frowned, looking up at him.

"(< Where's Gamzee??"

Karkat just looked down at her, the stains of faint red tears were stroking his face. He gritted his teeth and walked past her, slamming the door behind him.

This.. It's not true. It isn't! Karkitty.. He's just not telling you so it will be even more of a surprise later, right? Yeah! Of course!

She pulled the bow slowly, unwrapping it. She pulled out the small dark purple scarf. She had sown his symbol into the bottom of it the night before, one of the strings was starting to come out. She held it out of the box, running her finger over it.

"H-He... He's not..."

She pressed it to her face, sniffling with tears and held-back sobbing. Nepeta plain out sobbed.

Meanwhile Karkat just watched from the upstairs window. This was hard. It was hard and nobody understood.

[Wigmund]

Oh nooooooooo Gamzee can't be dead...we have so much to do with him...

[cyclicCircumferentia]

@Jelly: omg Jelly why you do this? I just drew pictures of Nepeta giving everyone scarves the other day, and it was HAPPY, and now your story made it not happy. ;;

Speaking of said drawings, here have some Nepeta giving out scarves and other things:

[FieryBlacksmith]

Cute Nepeta. Always relevant.

[Wigmund]

Weird idea came upon me as I tried to sleep. Curse my imagination.
The Teapot Mystery
Part 1

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Why ii2 thii2 happeniing two me? Sollux thought to himself as he lay in the back seat of the small sedan about an hour or so outside of Alternia City.

Just hours before he thought it was going to be another ordinary day at work. He'd have a long shift, deal with that bullshit, then return to his tiny apartment and rooftop bee hives. But then he and Terezi, his squad partner, were called in to the Commissioner's office. They were told that something strange was going on in a podunk flyspeck north of Alternia City and that the town's police needed help from some professionals, so they went begging to the APD. Naturally, wanting to make a good impression with the neighbors, Mayor Wayne Vim decided to send them the APD's best: Officer Terezi Pyrope, the city's best detective and investigator, and Sollux Captor. With them, Mayor Vim also sent a civilian representative - his aide, Miss Peixes.

Now Sollux found himself in the back seat of Feferi's car as the girls sat up front, Feferi driving and Terezi controlling the radio. They chattered and laughed and sang along with the 80s soft rock stations that Terezi constantly sought out as they passed through various stations' broadcast areas.

Occasionally, Sollux would sit up to look at the passing scenery. He found the countryside somewhat peaceful. Though, being a city boy, the rusted-out hulks of old cars and barns spooked him almost as much as the cows did.

The cows got to him because they'd all stop eating in the fields to watch the car pass by. It freaked him out to see all those big droopy eyes just staring at them. They had to be plotting something.

As he contemplated the malevolence of livestock, from the front seat drifted the noise of the girls singing along yet again with whatever station Terezi had found.

"1 just d13d 1n your 4rms ton1ght."
"It must )(ave been some kind of kiss."
"1 should h4v3 w4lk3d 4w4y," "I s)(ould )(ave walked away"
"II hate two iinterrupt your wonderful thinging galth, but how much longer untiil we get to whatever fuckiing town we're goiing to."
"We're about t)(r33 )(ours away from Teapot, my little fis)(," Feferi replied as she smiled into the rear-view mirror at Sollux.
"Wh4t's wrong 4ppl3b3rry? Don't t3ll us you w4nt to g3t 4w4y from F3f3r1 so qu1ckly!
Th1s 1s th3 f1rst t1m3 you'v3 b33n tog3th3r w1th h3r h4v1ng to comm1t 4 cr1m3."
Both Feferi and Sollux blushed furiously as Terezi laughed at them. She then turned to Feferi, confused.
"T34pot? Th3 town's n4m3 1s T34pot?"
"Yep, it's named after a rock formation on the coast nearby."
"Let me guethh, iit lookth liike a biig teapot..."
")(ow did you...o)( it's kinda obvious isn't it? It's really cool looking if you ask me."
"You'v3 b33n to T34pot b3for3?"
"OF COURS-E! My family )(as a summer retreat t)(ere. It's a lovely glubbing place.
It's part of t)(e reason I'm coming along wit)( you guys. T)(e mayor wanted to save some money, so I decided to let you all use the retreat as a base of operations."
"So why d1dn't you just g1v3 us th3 k3ys to th3 pl4c3 4nd 4 m4p to g3t to T34cup?"
Feferi glanced back up into the rearview at Sollux who at this time was watching the cows again. She blushed.
"H3H3H3H3H3"
"What? What'th tho funny TZ?"
"Oh noth1ng. Noth1ng 4t 4ll...H3H3H3H3."

Eventually, the hours passed and they arrived in Teacup.

It was a tiny town, only a couple hundred people - a mix of trolls, humans and hybrids - lived here. The main part of town was literally nothing more than a square built around a courthouse/town hall right up near an old dock structure packed to the brim with fishing craft. The entire place smelled heavily of salt and fish. Most of that odor emanating from a large warehouse that processed the town's catch for shipping down to Alternia City and other destinations.

Feferi parked the car in front of the town hall and the three got out. Sollux surveyed the town as they walked up to the large, old brick structure. There were a couple of locals walking around.

All of them watching the newcomers. Small town curiosity obviously.

Feferi lead their way up to the mayor's office where they were filled in on what the hell was going on in Teapot.

Apparently people were just disappearing, and if they were found, it wasn't all them. Bits missing that kind of thing. The town sheriff and his deputies thought they had an out-of-town serial killer on their hands and they put all the meager resources they had into investigating what happened.

They were all killed and every single bit of paperwork in the police station was missing. Meaning that Terezi and Sollux would have to work from scratch. Terezi smiled because she was going to enjoy this. Not only were they facing a serial killer or killers, they were dealing with someone that was intelligent and would actively try to hinder their investigation. She lived for stuff like this.

After talking to the mayor and getting the basics, Feferi took them up to her family's small cabin.


Which turned out to be much larger than Terezi's grandiose apartment and most definitely larger than Sollux's closet-sized place.
"I'm sorry guys, it's kinda small, but )(opefully it will be enoug)( for us."
"IIf thiith plathe wath any larger Feferii, II'd need a map to get around."
")(-E)(-E)(-E, you're suc)( a bass. Unfortunately, t)(ere's just a couple of rooms. So I guess Terezi and myself will take t)(e master bedroom w)(ile you take t)(e ot)(er one."

As it was getting late, they decided to spend the rest of the day getting set up at the Peixes place and getting rested after the long trip and preparation for the long day that awaited them tomorrow.

After dinner, Sollux decided to take a shower. It was lovely, he never had so much hot water to use. Not to mention a shower that he could move around in without worrying about tearing out the curtains and flooding the rest of his apartment. He stood there and just relished the decadence he found himself in. This day was going great.

That was, until he walked into the master bedroom to see how the girls were getting along and froze in his tracks.

They were ready for bed, but apparently had decided it was a great time to have a pillow fight.

He saw that Terezi was in a tank top and boxer shorts, which looked great on her figure.Feferi was...she was wearing something with spaghetti straps and lace and because of the angle Terezi had knocked her over to the doorway Sollux walked through, he got a good view of something tiny and stringy.

Sollux found himself unable to say whatever it was he wanted to say to the two.

"II...II...II...uhhh..."
"Sollux! 4r3 you p33k1ng on us!?"
"--E--E---E! G-ET OUT!"

They both threw their pillows at the dumbstruck troll and he fled back to the bedroom he was using. He made it back without much damage and laid down.

Wow, the bed was much larger than anything he was used to, but it was fairly comfortable...except for the pillows which were on the rigid side. He rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling as the day's events coursed through his mind.

They were in a small town far from home where someone or something was kidnapping and murdering people and when the police tried to stop it, they were wiped out. This was going to suck. But Terezi seemed excited about it. And the plus side though, Sollux thought to himself, they wouldn't spend all their time investigating this case so he and Feferi would have time to spend with each other.

He rolled over and fell asleep.

He slept uncomfortably for most of the night like he usually did. Thoughts coursed through his messed up and conflicted mind. Then something soft and warmed was next to him and he took in the smell of the sea and irises and drifted back to the Alternia City of his youth.

He was back home as a young boy. He was watching his mother in her garden. He always loved helping her there. He still did when he had the time, but when he was younger he really enjoyed it. It was always something new to him and his mother taught him about the various plants she grew and also about the bees which he really ended up loving.

They lived right on the edge of the Settlements up against Dockside and the city's river, so the smell of the sea and irises was something that frequently mixed for his growing nose. His family was poor, but they had lived in the city long enough that they had a proper house with a tiny yard. He had many siblings so the house was always crowded, but it was also filled with love. Something that brought him comfort even now. He might be a bipolar depressed troll with the ability to blast city blocks into rubble, but going to see his mother, siblings and various nieces and nephews always cheered him up and reminded him why he wanted to be a police officer. He wanted to protect them. He wanted to protect them because it was what his father did. It was what his father did before some two-bit thug knocking over a convenience store pulled out some cheap pistol and put a bullet in his chest.

Sollux drifted to his father's funeral. He remembered all the black clothing. He remembered the great big casket that they had put his father in. He remembered his mother crying, holding his youngest sister while the rest of her children gathered around her and cried as well. He remembered being too young to understand nothing beyond the fact that his mother was sad and that for some reason he would never see his father again. He remembered never wanting to see his mother sad again.

So he always tried to make her smile. He would help her in her garden. He would pick the prettiest blossoms for her to show them off and she'd put them in a beautiful water-filled vase in the kitchen window. She really loved the purple irises. They were her favorite and they were the ones he put the most effort into growing.

And so, in Sollux's dream, he sat next to his mother, gardening. Laughing and enjoying himself as he talked to the woman who raised him and shaped him into the man he was now.

It was the best night's sleep Sollux Captor had since he left home and went to live on his own after becoming a police officer just like his father had been.

He slowly woke up and thought about how soft and comfortable the tough pillows had become overnight...
Then his sleep-clouded vision cleared enough to see that those weren't pillows.

A/N:

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Thus begins The Teapot Mystery. Maybe this will go well.

I hope everyone is fine with the backstory for Sollux Captor created here. For some reason, the thought of him growing up in what would be the stereotypical Irish-American police family if they were humans appealed to me. And the idea that he has a large, loving family provides an interesting clash with the depressed bipolar troll we usually see in Troll!Cops.

[Deeum]

So I thought I would post a sad story.
Don't hurt me, I don't usually write for this thread but I want to. :v

Simply No Way.

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She'd heard the news. It wasn't that she didn't believe it, she knew it wasn't true! What a silly thing to say, how could she believe such a perpawsterous thing like that?

There was simply no way~!

There was.. No way.. right?
Gamzee's..
He's not dead! How silly! Silly, silly!

Nepeta had been sitting on the orphanage doorstep for a few hours now. She was waiting for him to come home. They said they'd taken him somewhere. Some kind of home? In some huge casket thing! But she knew he'd be back soon.

In her grasp was a small little black box with a purple bow on it. She'd wrapped it especially for him. It was super important that she give this to him, she'd saved up money for months and months for this.

But her smile was starting to fade. The briefest sting of tears was in her eyes. She couldn't believe this, not now. This is silly. This is.. This is stupid.

She looked up at the sky, the clouds were thickening. They began dropping the smallest of raindrops on her. One hit her nose, making her sneeze a little. She looked back down the road that came to the orphanage and a car was coming. A car!

It's him! It's him! They brought him back! He's here! He's not dead, she knew it!

The car pulled up, parking in the space directly in front of her. Out of the backseat came Karkat, but after he got out of the car, it drove away. She frowned, looking up at him.

"(< Where's Gamzee??"

Karkat just looked down at her, the stains of faint red tears were stroking his face. He gritted his teeth and walked past her, slamming the door behind him.

This.. It's not true. It isn't! Karkitty.. He's just not telling you so it will be even more of a surprise later, right? Yeah! Of course!

She pulled the bow slowly, unwrapping it. She pulled out the small dark purple scarf. She had sown his symbol into the bottom of it the night before, one of the strings was starting to come out. She held it out of the box, running her finger over it.

"H-He... He's not..."

She pressed it to her face, sniffling with tears and held-back sobbing. Nepeta plain out sobbed.

Meanwhile Karkat just watched from the upstairs window. This was hard. It was hard and nobody understood.

I just.
;-;

Oh nooooooooo Gamzee can't be dead...we have so much to do with him...

At least in my headcanon he's still alive!

@Jelly: omg Jelly why you do this? I just drew pictures of Nepeta giving everyone scarves the other day, and it was HAPPY, and now your story made it not happy. ;;

Speaking of said drawings, here have some Nepeta giving out scarves and other things:

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Awwwww. So lovely. c:

Weird idea came upon me as I tried to sleep. Curse my imagination.
The Teapot Mystery
Part 1

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Why ii2 thii2 happeniing two me? Sollux thought to himself as he lay in the back seat of the small sedan about an hour or so outside of Alternia City.

Just hours before he thought it was going to be another ordinary day at work. He'd have a long shift, deal with that bullshit, then return to his tiny apartment and rooftop bee hives. But then he and Terezi, his squad partner, were called in to the Commissioner's office. They were told that something strange was going on in a podunk flyspeck north of Alternia City and that the town's police needed help from some professionals, so they went begging to the APD. Naturally, wanting to make a good impression with the neighbors, Mayor Wayne Vim decided to send them the APD's best: Officer Terezi Pyrope, the city's best detective and investigator, and Sollux Captor. With them, Mayor Vim also sent a civilian representative - his aide, Miss Peixes.

Now Sollux found himself in the back seat of Feferi's car as the girls sat up front, Feferi driving and Terezi controlling the radio. They chattered and laughed and sang along with the 80s soft rock stations that Terezi constantly sought out as they passed through various stations' broadcast areas.

Occasionally, Sollux would sit up to look at the passing scenery. He found the countryside somewhat peaceful. Though, being a city boy, the rusted-out hulks of old cars and barns spooked him almost as much as the cows did.

The cows got to him because they'd all stop eating in the fields to watch the car pass by. It freaked him out to see all those big droopy eyes just staring at them. They had to be plotting something.

As he contemplated the malevolence of livestock, from the front seat drifted the noise of the girls singing along yet again with whatever station Terezi had found.

"1 just d13d 1n your 4rms ton1ght."
"It must )(ave been some kind of kiss."
"1 should h4v3 w4lk3d 4w4y," "I s)(ould )(ave walked away"
"II hate two iinterrupt your wonderful thinging galth, but how much longer untiil we get to whatever fuckiing town we're goiing to."
"We're about t)(r33 )(ours away from Teapot, my little fis)(," Feferi replied as she smiled into the rear-view mirror at Sollux.
"Wh4t's wrong 4ppl3b3rry? Don't t3ll us you w4nt to g3t 4w4y from F3f3r1 so qu1ckly!
Th1s 1s th3 f1rst t1m3 you'v3 b33n tog3th3r w1th h3r h4v1ng to comm1t 4 cr1m3."
Both Feferi and Sollux blushed furiously as Terezi laughed at them. She then turned to Feferi, confused.
"T34pot? Th3 town's n4m3 1s T34pot?"
"Yep, it's named after a rock formation on the coast nearby."
"Let me guethh, iit lookth liike a biig teapot..."
")(ow did you...o)( it's kinda obvious isn't it? It's really cool looking if you ask me."
"You'v3 b33n to T34pot b3for3?"
"OF COURS-E! My family )(as a summer retreat t)(ere. It's a lovely glubbing place.
It's part of t)(e reason I'm coming along wit)( you guys. T)(e mayor wanted to save some money, so I decided to let you all use the retreat as a base of operations."
"So why d1dn't you just g1v3 us th3 k3ys to th3 pl4c3 4nd 4 m4p to g3t to T34cup?"
Feferi glanced back up into the rearview at Sollux who at this time was watching the cows again. She blushed.
"H3H3H3H3H3"
"What? What'th tho funny TZ?"
"Oh noth1ng. Noth1ng 4t 4ll...H3H3H3H3."

Eventually, the hours passed and they arrived in Teacup.

It was a tiny town, only a couple hundred people - a mix of trolls, humans and hybrids - lived here. The main part of town was literally nothing more than a square built around a courthouse/town hall right up near an old dock structure packed to the brim with fishing craft. The entire place smelled heavily of salt and fish. Most of that odor emanating from a large warehouse that processed the town's catch for shipping down to Alternia City and other destinations.

Feferi parked the car in front of the town hall and the three got out. Sollux surveyed the town as they walked up to the large, old brick structure. There were a couple of locals walking around.

All of them watching the newcomers. Small town curiosity obviously.

Feferi lead their way up to the mayor's office where they were filled in on what the hell was going on in Teapot.

Apparently people were just disappearing, and if they were found, it wasn't all them. Bits missing that kind of thing. The town sheriff and his deputies thought they had an out-of-town serial killer on their hands and they put all the meager resources they had into investigating what happened.

They were all killed and every single bit of paperwork in the police station was missing. Meaning that Terezi and Sollux would have to work from scratch. Terezi smiled because she was going to enjoy this. Not only were they facing a serial killer or killers, they were dealing with someone that was intelligent and would actively try to hinder their investigation. She lived for stuff like this.

After talking to the mayor and getting the basics, Feferi took them up to her family's small cabin.


Which turned out to be much larger than Terezi's grandiose apartment and most definitely larger than Sollux's closet-sized place.
"I'm sorry guys, it's kinda small, but )(opefully it will be enoug)( for us."
"IIf thiith plathe wath any larger Feferii, II'd need a map to get around."
")(-E)(-E)(-E, you're suc)( a bass. Unfortunately, t)(ere's just a couple of rooms. So I guess Terezi and myself will take t)(e master bedroom w)(ile you take t)(e ot)(er one."

As it was getting late, they decided to spend the rest of the day getting set up at the Peixes place and getting rested after the long trip and preparation for the long day that awaited them tomorrow.

After dinner, Sollux decided to take a shower. It was lovely, he never had so much hot water to use. Not to mention a shower that he could move around in without worrying about tearing out the curtains and flooding the rest of his apartment. He stood there and just relished the decadence he found himself in. This day was going great.

That was, until he walked into the master bedroom to see how the girls were getting along and froze in his tracks.

They were ready for bed, but apparently had decided it was a great time to have a pillow fight.

He saw that Terezi was in a tank top and boxer shorts, which looked great on her figure.Feferi was...she was wearing something with spaghetti straps and lace and because of the angle Terezi had knocked her over to the doorway Sollux walked through, he got a good view of something tiny and stringy.

Sollux found himself unable to say whatever it was he wanted to say to the two.

"II...II...II...uhhh..."
"Sollux! 4r3 you p33k1ng on us!?"
"--E--E---E! G-ET OUT!"

They both threw their pillows at the dumbstruck troll and he fled back to the bedroom he was using. He made it back without much damage and laid down.

Wow, the bed was much larger than anything he was used to, but it was fairly comfortable...except for the pillows which were on the rigid side. He rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling as the day's events coursed through his mind.

They were in a small town far from home where someone or something was kidnapping and murdering people and when the police tried to stop it, they were wiped out. This was going to suck. But Terezi seemed excited about it. And the plus side though, Sollux thought to himself, they wouldn't spend all their time investigating this case so he and Feferi would have time to spend with each other.

He rolled over and fell asleep.

He slept uncomfortably for most of the night like he usually did. Thoughts coursed through his messed up and conflicted mind. Then something soft and warmed was next to him and he took in the smell of the sea and irises and drifted back to the Alternia City of his youth.

He was back home as a young boy. He was watching his mother in her garden. He always loved helping her there. He still did when he had the time, but when he was younger he really enjoyed it. It was always something new to him and his mother taught him about the various plants she grew and also about the bees which he really ended up loving.

They lived right on the edge of the Settlements up against Dockside and the city's river, so the smell of the sea and irises was something that frequently mixed for his growing nose. His family was poor, but they had lived in the city long enough that they had a proper house with a tiny yard. He had many siblings so the house was always crowded, but it was also filled with love. Something that brought him comfort even now. He might be a bipolar depressed troll with the ability to blast city blocks into rubble, but going to see his mother, siblings and various nieces and nephews always cheered him up and reminded him why he wanted to be a police officer. He wanted to protect them. He wanted to protect them because it was what his father did. It was what his father did before some two-bit thug knocking over a convenience store pulled out some cheap pistol and put a bullet in his chest.

Sollux drifted to his father's funeral. He remembered all the black clothing. He remembered the great big casket that they had put his father in. He remembered his mother crying, holding his youngest sister while the rest of her children gathered around her and cried as well. He remembered being too young to understand nothing beyond the fact that his mother was sad and that for some reason he would never see his father again. He remembered never wanting to see his mother sad again.

So he always tried to make her smile. He would help her in her garden. He would pick the prettiest blossoms for her to show them off and she'd put them in a beautiful water-filled vase in the kitchen window. She really loved the purple irises. They were her favorite and they were the ones he put the most effort into growing.

And so, in Sollux's dream, he sat next to his mother, gardening. Laughing and enjoying himself as he talked to the woman who raised him and shaped him into the man he was now.

It was the best night's sleep Sollux Captor had since he left home and went to live on his own after becoming a police officer just like his father had been.

He slowly woke up and thought about how soft and comfortable the tough pillows had become overnight...
Then his sleep-clouded vision cleared enough to see that those weren't pillows.

A/N:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Thus begins The Teapot Mystery. Maybe this will go well.

I hope everyone is fine with the backstory for Sollux Captor created here. For some reason, the thought of him growing up in what would be the stereotypical Irish-American police family if they were humans appealed to me. And the idea that he has a large, loving family provides an interesting clash with the depressed bipolar troll we usually see in Troll!Cops.

The first part made me think "what if they went to a karaoke bar?".
Nice story by the way.
----

I'll update the OP sometime tonight or tomorrow. Today was just one of those days.

[crepuscularDissembler]

I love small town horror! The only way this could be better is if Teapot became a closed circle.

I'd also like to call "As Luck Won't Have It" and "Calling Shots".
(By the way, should I have put "Troll!Cops presents:" somewhere on "Clueless"? All the other ones have one.)

[KOACD]

Wow, this is a pretty great AU. Can I post things here, or this exclusive or something.

[inexpediency]

Anyone can participate!

[KOACD]

Cool, thanks.

I wonder what these buttons do.

[KOACD]

This is a fanfic. Please excuse my horrible spelling.
Alright, So I sort of had an idea about how Mr.Pupa could gain leverage over Vriska. At first, I thought I'd make Karkats gang follow her around to see if she had a weakness or something, but that didn't make too much sense to me. :/ Whatever.
Also, I had some pictures I wanted to upload because this is a very fun thread to be chatting it up on, but my internet is wonky, so yeah.

Leverage

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It was a typical afternoon for Vriska Serket.

She had just finished her shift, which mainly involved sitting at a desk and contacting other officers to do one thing or another.

Pretty easy, though sometimes a tad 8oring. She could never appreci8 what these clowns do all day, which was nothing interesting. The APD would traipse around, from crime scene to crime scene, dumping their work on the people like her who’re stuck inside the claustrophobic department, with nothing but dull cops and the stench of Officer Zahaks sweaty towels to keep her company. Not that any of them are worth her time.

Oh no, she had much hotter irons in the fire. This job was merely a cover for her real occupation. A much more sinister job. More dangerous. But all and all, more rewarding.

Vriska Serket modeled mascot costumes for local high schools.

No, she didn’t. That was a lie.

Vriska Serket was secretly the head of the MindFang Pirates, a notorious group of unwashed scallywags that frequently raided ships around Alternia City.

Most of her treasure was hidden in the basement of her modest, suburban respite block, far from the sea. Sometimes she liked to go down into the heavily guarded room and stew in the feeling of triumph and success. She rarely spent any of her treasure, or at least, she herself did not, for a great many pieces of the stash could be easily identified and tracked back to one of her raids. This made it delightfully easy to frame street chumps or lowly cops who came sticking their noses where they don’t belong, now and then. It was also a wonderful use of leverage. On more than one occasion she had used the hoard to “help out” politicians, or second rate detectives who needed good publicity or maybe just cash. Never was a favor given out, that could not be returned or twisted to suit her own goals. It was such a fun game she played, tricking the grotesque and greedy into her snarled web.

Little did she know, she was being played into a web not of her own making.

Her front door opened easily, the rectangular opening letting the cold light of the serene and derelict neighborhood briefly lapse the cluttered darkness of her house. She closed the door with a quiet clash of the metal frame and a click as she locked it, stepping into her house and onto a magic 8 ball, which shattered beneath her (unbelievable girth) foot.
Uttering a curse, she kicked the ruined fortune teller away with a flounce of her foot, and strode into her living room, stretching idly.

There was a strange smell in her house.

It was unpleasant, but hardly noticeable, like, perhaps, the smell of the sky before it rains.
She snorted, the unfamiliar aspect bothering her, and walked towards her kitchen to get some air freshener.

The smell grew stronger.

The carpet was wet.

She looked down to see the dark green blood soaking her carpet. Surprised, she stepped back.
The blood had soaked into the carpet from a large pool in her kitchen. Vriska pushed the door, in a quick, nervous motion, but something was keeping it from opening.
Regaining her composure, she pushed the door harder, something making a wet, sliding noise.

The thing obstructing the door was the body of her green blooded first mate.
Something’s claws had etched large gashes into the body, and he had probably bled to death.
Marquise Mindfang scowled down at the pathetic mess. Of course, it wasn’t such a big deal that the first mate was dead, because he hardly did anything but be an idiot and get pushed around by her. A replacement would be easy to find, but it’s not so much who he was, but what he was. Street trash can’t be thinking that the Mindfang gang can be easily offed. She decided to just tell everyone that she killed him herself because he got irrit8ing. Hey wait, what was this useless freak doing in her house, anyway????????

Vriska Serket was so preoccupied with the body that she nearly over looked the red alligator sitting in her sink. Odds are, she wouldn’t have noticed it at all if it didn’t start nakking incessantly at her. She looked up, becoming aggravated at the 2nd intruder, and reached for her gun to shut it up for good. She stopped when it pulled out a rather fancy looking revolver of its own and aim it at her. The consort hopped out of the sink and onto the floor, right foot landing in some blood. It leaned down, gun still trained on her, and dipped its stubby index finger into the green puddle. The lizard then waddled into her living room, giving the gun a jerk to tell her she should follow, and hopped onto the back of her couch. It started to write on the wall.

“hELLO, mISS mINDFANG,”

The consort paused as if to see her reaction, and then continued.

“i KNOW, yOUR IDENTITY, jUST AS YOU, hAVE PROBABLY, uHH, iNFERRED MINE. pLEASE JOIN ME, aT sENATOR lEMONSNOUTS LOVELY MANSION AT 8:00 PM, tODAY, sO WE MAY DISCUSS WHAT IS TO BE DONE, aBOUT THIS, sITUATION. aLSO, pLEASE REFRAIN FROM, cONTACTING ANYONE, oR BRINGING ANYONE WITH YOU, bECAUSE, i WILL KNOW, aND i WILL NOT BE VERY, uHM, hAPPY, aBOUT SOMETHING LIKE, tHAT.”

The consort stopped again, as if considering something.

“lETS JUST SAY, mORE THEN YOUR IDENTITY WILL BE…”



“bLOWN.”




To be continued.

This is a bit dark. :0 Hurp derp. Sorry.
May Cal inspire you.

[Wigmund]

KOACD...

[KOACD]

O U

[crepuscularDissembler]

Nicely written relationship-origin, KOACD.

"i LIKE A GIRL WITH, uHH, sPIRIT,"

BRB drawing Mr.Pupa creeping on Vriska because I find it hilarious.

[HarMegidon]

Some fanfic thing:

The Madman

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Sollux Captor sighed. In the middle of the street, a man was ranting. He wore a stolen Cairo Overcoat, shades pilfered from one of the members of the Strider Mafia, a novelty Troll Horn headband with one horn broken, and a mysterious, albeit awesome looking shirt. He held a horrific puppet in one hand. "I AM THE AVATAR OF THE CREATOR! I AM HE WHO IS BEYOND THE FOURTH WALL" the mad preacher shouted. "Goddamnit Andrew, you keep doiing thi2" Captor said. Andrew replied "You fool! The end is coming! I shall escape from my attic by riding a luck dragon to freedom" He then recited the history of the city, which was surprisingly in-depth. "Huh. Never knew the mayor wa2 once a farmer" Sollux muttered. "Anyway, you're comiing wiith me. How many tiime2 have you broken out of the iin2ane a2ylum anyway?" Andrew followed him back without struggle. "We have to iincrea2e 2ecuriity here" Sollux said to nobody in particular. Meanwhile, Andrew sat in his room, alone. The door was unlocked and opened by a prospitian lady. As he escaped, she went back to repainting the ward.

This sucks, I know. Still, I had to do something with mad hobo Andrew.

[KOACD]

That's pretty hilarious, HarM. And thanks, CD, your picture will undoubtedly be hilarious as well.