TROLL!COPS: The AU

[Wigmund]

@Rediklaus: Can't wait to see what happens next!

@Kayak: She looks like she's ready to kick somebody's ass if they question her birdie cap and purse.

[frostedWarlock]

I still say that DeeJay's eyes should be concealed as well so we can never know her mother. Also pale skin.

[KOACD]

Kayak, thanks a ton, and I really love her owl bag. A lot.
Sorry for dragging us back to the crowboob topic, but would Maggies personality be all serious, or would it be sort of Rose ish, like serious but with intelligent humor? Or would it be Indy chick cool kid or something. Or,,, would Irony even be a big part of her? :0 So many questions. I just sort of want to outline her personality, because I can't figure out why everyyone who confronts Pupa ends up running away from his mind tricks. He should go after Kanaya to get back at the leg thing, because if he found out about Bro, he'd find out about Kanaya too, probably. And she wouldn't run off in terror or anything, and they might have a chance at an honest fight, Lance v.s. Chainsaw.

[KOACD]

Really cool stuff, Ridikulas!
And also thanks. I really like how you compose stories.


WATER these crooks up to? (THAT. WAS. A. PUN.)

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Karkat awoke with a sick twisting in his stomach. There was obviously something wrong. Standing, he staggered to the bathroom and splashed water in his face. His head was pounding and his cheeks were flushed. The contents of his tummy felt like thin water balloons, shaking dangerously with every movement.
Needless to say, he felt sick.
Breathing somewhat heavily, the troll made his way back to the bed and lied down, taking care not to move too much. His face was starting to itch and sting and his face felt moist and hot.
He was going to go back to bed for a while, but he remembered he had to feed Nepeta and Gamzee.
Pulling himself out of bed, he forced his legs to move him into the kitchen, his muscles sore and heavy. He started to get out a pan to try and make eggs, but remembered they were out and put some toast in the toaster instead.
There were several dead deer in the kitchen as well, a result of the return of Nepetas lusis. Not that he wasn't happy for her, but this was ridiculous. Who knew how many fleas were bounding off the slaughtered deer carcasses? Fleas were disgusting. He was glad he never had them.
Scratching the back of his head, he pulled a cup from the fancy glass cupboard and filled it with water, taking a sip as he got some plates out.

Huh. The water tasted a bit funny.

Putting the cup down and washing his hands, he plated the hot slices of toast and put them on the table.

"GAMZEE. NEPETA. BREAKFAST IS ON THE TABLE." He didn't have to yell, because his voice was just naturally loud. They could probably hear him from their rooms.

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BUT
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The city went about its normal day, many people showing the same symptoms Karkat had.
Unknown to the mayor or residents, a large aquifer that the city used frequently had become polluted by the rotting remains of the forest inhabitants.
About three months before, a massive mental shock wave swept the forest, causing seizures and mental malfunctions of all sorts at around a two mile radius, the focal point being a pile of ashes, glass and metal that was once a beautiful vacation home of the wealthy and generous Tavros Nitram, who was confirmed missing a few weeks before the scene was discovered.
It is not any wonder that some of the animals would have fallen into the water, but it seems almost as if a band of people dragged the animals to the water on purpose, with the full intent of fouling it.

A few days after the contamination was discovered, all over seas medicine and water treating supplies was taken by the ruthless mind fang pirates and held for ransom.
Almost as if..................
.................................................. ........
.............
It was planned. :0 !!!?!?

Wow, I'm really liking the Vriska/Pupa relationship, because Vriska will always want to 8e the 8est, and pupa finds that sHE, dOES NOT FIT INTO, uHMM, aLL OF HIS, mANY PLANS,

[Wigmund]

I picture Maggie's personality as a mix of Jade's derpiness and Terezi's borderline sociopathy. She possesses few of Dave's quirks, but his ironic tastes do show up in an intense love of dressing in the worst pastel 80s fashions. She kinda went crazy with how to dress since the future didn't give her many opportunities to do so. She's prone to violence when offended. Unfortunately, she's easily thrown off when people confront her with her flaws. She fell for Karkat because she started to stalk him after the incident in One For Sorrow, and ended up becoming obsessed with him. She liked how he was so protective of his family and that, despite having the jerk-ass facade, he was really a pathetic love-lorn softie. She did the straight forward seduction because he's a thick idiot and has no personal confidence when it comes to romance (he hasn't taken up Jade's offer to meet somewhere in the city that she gave him in The Raid)...and she doesn't know the meaning of subtlety.

She ended up running away from Mr. Pupa because he told her that if anything happened to him, every single person she knew/cared about would meet horrible ends. He makes plans, some people run away because he mentally twists them around, others run because he has hostages and some never run creating those messes he lamented at the beginning of Silken Web. I don't know about the thing with Kanaya and Bro since that's not part of my personal Troll!Cops head-canon.

[KOACD]

That clears a lot of stuff up, personality wise. Thanks, Wigmund.
But (Just asking by the way, I don't mean to offend anyone because all of the material here is pretty awesome, so yeah) If Magpie did kill pupa, wouldn't that have satisfied her goal and kept Karkat safe? Or was she concerned about the Trio not having a home again if Pupa died.
And

Shouldn't CrowBro target Pupa, because it seems like cutting villains down is more his style, or does he not want to because Pupa keeps a pretty good hold on the crime going on, even though hes evil.

Never mind. I understand now.
Though, I'd still like to hear about your head canon.

[KOACD]

NO WAIT, DON'T REPLY.
YOUR NUMBER OF POSTS IS 911 WIGMUND
LIKE THE NUMBER
FOR POLICE
AND THIS IS A POLICE THREAD
AND IT FITS
DEFRGTHYJUFGTXRHJUKYH

[Redikalus]

That clears a lot of stuff up, personality wise. Thanks, Wigmund.
But (Just asking by the way, I don't mean to offend anyone because all of the material here is pretty awesome, so yeah) If Magpie did kill pupa, wouldn't that have satisfied her goal and kept Karkat safe? Or was she concerned about the Trio not having a home again if Pupa died.
And

Shouldn't CrowBro target Pupa, because it seems like cutting villains down is more his style, or does he not want to because Pupa keeps a pretty good hold on the crime going on, even though hes evil.

Never mind. I understand now.
Though, I'd still like to hear about your head canon.

Pupa probably has contingency plans in case of his death for his minions to eliminate the relatives of all potential killers.
And some villains can unnerve you just by talking, to the point that facing them is too frightening and you feel the need to run; primal fear and self-preservation are powerful tools.

[KOACD]

Pupa probably has contingency plans in case of his death to eliminate the relatives of all potential killers.

Yes, probably. That makes me wonder who he would trust enough to carry out said plans if he died.
I know who.
TROLL!COPS AU HORSERONI
Maybe. Horseroni should exist here.

[incestuousSlurry]

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I come to your thread with little knowledge of the actual workings of this AU (I've only looked through the character designs, gonna read a fic or two shortly) and I just want to say that I love the idea(s) of it. I-I offer you a sketchy Pupa in the hopes of peace and goodwill..?

[Redikalus]

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I come to your thread with little knowledge of the actual workings of this AU (I've only looked through the character designs, gonna read a fic or two shortly) and I just want to say that I love the idea(s) of it. I-I offer you a sketchy Pupa in the hopes of peace and goodwill..?

A very nice Pupa indeed. Goodwill secured!
Though for future reference, Pupa is wealthy and probably wouldn't let his clothes reach a mildly scruffy state.

[incestuousSlurry]

Oh dear... how uncouth of me!
I will definitely try to convey his immense fortune in future.

[KOACD]

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I come to your thread with little knowledge of the actual workings of this AU (I've only looked through the character designs, gonna read a fic or two shortly) and I just want to say that I love the idea(s) of it. I-I offer you a sketchy Pupa in the hopes of peace and goodwill..?

That is a cool character design. I think we should find a way to include that look in this thread.

[Redikalus]

Alright, this monstrosity of a fic is finally complete. (part 1, part 2, part 3)
I present to you the finale of
S.E.E.ing Double

S.E.E.ing Double; part 4

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Feferi hid to the side of the Lusii monument, which had remained mercifully unscathed, and watched as Sollux unleashed another eyeblast at their now flying attacker. The blast was barely dodged.
What are you doing!? I was trying to help you.
Okay, that voice was definitely female. Crowbro definitely wasn’t female. Sollux responded as he charged up another eye blast.
help me? you were attacking u2!
No, not you, I was attacking the supervillain!
Wait… ‘attacking us’?
Sollux released the charged blast. His adversary was ready for it apparently as she dodged this one quite deftly.
iinca2e you havent noticed, iim a cop
ii wa2 handliing it
Handling it? She had gotten a hold of you!
I was trying to save you!
And what did you mean by ‘us’?
Sollux released the charge he was building as the question hit him. He heard Feferi giggling from her hiding spot.
okay, you clearly have no iidea what2 goiing on do you
What are you talking about!?
look m2 crowbro wannabe, thiis sup-
Eck! No! I’m nothing like that criminal!
Sollux just stared at her. What kind of iidiiot was she?
My name is-
Magpie!
Everyone looked towards the source of this new voice. A woman wearing a purple and black dress was marching towards them. Sollux and Magpie reacted simultaneously.
Rose!
ro2e!
Or maybe I should call you… Maggie.
Magpie gasped.
How do you know my name?
I am the Seer: I make it my job to know things.
Rose reached her hands into the folds of her dress.
There is something else I know. Do you know what that is Maggie?
Rose pulled an ebony wand out of the hidden pocket in her dress. Magpie was still shaking off the shock and didn’t answer.
No? Then I will tell you.
Rose raised her wand and pointed it at Magpie
You stole a group of very valuable things from me and I want them back.
Magpie was struck by shock again but was able to give a response.
What!? No! I would never- Not from you- I only-
And then a look of realization struck Magpie’s face. She looked down and glared at Rose.
The only thing I’ve stolen was a crate of technology from the Strider Mafia! You’re working for those criminals!?
This brought Sollux back to his senses.
waiit, 2he2 2ayiing you work for 2triider?
Magpie shot down and landed a several feet in front of Rose. She pointed her LazSword at Rose and demanded,
Tell me!
Rose kept her arm pointed towards where Magpie previously was and responds calmly.
No, you have a very small grasp on the situation, little girl, put your sword down before someone gets hurt.
Magpie, insulted, strikes a fighting stance.
Or what?
Rose pauses and the answers,
This.
Rose eyes glow black for a heartbeat of a moment and then, before Magpie could register what was happening, swung her wand down. The impact of the spell slammed into Magpie, causing her to drop her sword and launching her into the air towards the monument. As she flew, Rose lifted her wand back up to eye level, levitating the LazSword a safe distance away from everybody and then swung it horizontally. As Magpie crashed into the monument, a part of the glove on each hand ripped off and flew through and arc matching Rose’s swing right into her hand.
My timetables!
Rose looked down at them. They weren’t even the size of her hand.
Fascinating, they are smaller than I expected.
Rose walked over to the LazSword, picked it up, turned it off and tucked it and the timetables into the spot where she stored her wand. Magpie began to pick herself up off of the monument.
Hey! Give those back!
No. You will get these back when I believe you are going to use them responsibly.
What?
Magpie finished getting up and walked towards Rose. Rose raised her wand back up and pointed it at Magpie again. Magpie stopped in her tracks and she and Sollux tensed up, waiting for a fight. Rose slowly lowered her wand and then folded her arms. Sollux relaxed a little and Feferi, sensing that the fighting was over moved away from the monument to get a better view.
Like I said, you have a very poor grasp of the situation. Then again, there’s a lot about you that I don’t know.
could 2omeone explaiin what2 goiing on wiith thii2 broad?
Rose ignored him for the time being.
You attacked The Culler here because she was a super villain I suspect?
Yes, isn’t she?
Technically, yes, but she is harmless.
If you had chosen to talk to her you would find her to be quite sympathetic.
Magpie looked back to Feferi as she began to approach Sollux and then back to Rose. She felt guilty; this was the second time she was learning this lesson.
I do not know what it is like from when you came, and yes I know you are from a future of sorts.
Perhaps the city then will be black and white, simple conflict, no ambiguity.
But here?
Rose held up the index and middle fingers on her empty hand.
Two?
Yes, two.
That is how many truly ‘white’ people I believe there are in this city.
Rose added her ring finger to the count.
This is the number of how many truly ‘black’ people I believe there are in this city.
Egbertman and Mayor WV for white and Mr. Pupa, Spades Slick, and Kingpin for black.
Everyone else is grey. Everyone else tries their best, or their worst, but fail to compare to those five, even you as I see it.
Those of us who fight for good, even as grey as we are, do our best to save as many lives as we can. We do the best we can, but sometimes we have to make sacrifices. Sometimes we do unsavory actions like lying, cheating and stealing. Like taking bribes, helping criminals, or killing unsavory people. But despite all our problems we are still trying to do the right thing.
Take the police for example they are filled to the brim with corruption and they know it.
If they know they are corrupted, then why don’t they do something about it?
Sollux?
Sollux clears his throat before answering.
that ii2 becau2e iif we threw out every corrupt cop we had, we would have only a handful of people and would be unable to protect the ciity.
Magpie lowered her head, thinking about what she was hearing.
And The Culler?
She is only a supervillain because it is the only way to spend time with Mr. Captor here.
You see, she is in love with him, but he is a low-class cop while she has purple blood… literally.
At this point Feferi was standing next to Sollux and hugged him for dramatic effect.
So the only way she can see him without people being suspicious about it is to don the costume and play this game of cat and mouse.
You should be careful to judge someone by their intent, not their actions.
There was a brief silence as Rose let her words sink in. Sollux was the first to break the silence.
how much of that wa2 aiimed at her and how much wa2 aiimed at me?
Good question, and here is another good one.
Magpie, where are the items you stole?
Magpie looked up at Rose and stared at her before answering.
Are the Strider Mafia on the ‘good side’?
You should ask them, not me, and for the record, the things you took, no matter who you took them from, truly do belong to me.
Magpie hung her head and sighed.
Fine. I’ll get them back to you.
Sollux interjected, it was about time he got to the bottom of this.
iif theiir your2, then how diid the 2triider mafia get them?
Rose looked at Sollux and Feferi and then reached into her pockets again.
I am sorry about your night being ruined. It ultimately is my fault that she’s here.
that doe2nt an2wer my que2tion rose.
I know.
Rose pulled a ticket from her pocket and offered it to Sollux.
This is a coupon for a free dinner at my mother’s restaurant. It is a nice place with surprisingly good food. A perfect place for a romantic dinner, something I suspect your relationship has been lacking.
Sollux and Feferi looked at each other and then began to object before Rose cut them off.
And with the clientele that it serves, it is very unlikely either of you would be recognized, even in your normal clothes. But you better hurry, it stops taking orders in an hour or so and it is quite far away.
Feferi perked up.
O)(! T)(ank you Rose!
Sollux just stared at the ticket before asking.
thii2 ii2 2o you can get away wiithout answeriing my que2tiion ii2nt iit?
Feferi groaned and rolled her eyes.
You don’t beat around the bush do you? But, yes, it is. The question is, are you still going to take it knowing that?
Sollux continued to stare at the ticket and Rose’s words raced through his mind. We do the best we can, but sometimes we have to make sacrifices. After a second of thought, he had reached his decision.
feferii…
let2 go have a niice diinner.
As Feferi screamed with delight and hugged him, Sollux smiled and reached out for the ticket in Rose’s hand, but she did not relinquish it yet.
Pyrope,
what?
Zahark,
Megido,
WV and AR.
I will tell you this Mr. Captor, in this game that the police, the vigilantes, and the underworld are playing, I have my own hand to play. But I don’t want certain players to know that I have that hand, if you catch my drift.
I don’t care what you tell them about what happened tonight, that nothing happened, that you found irrefutable proof to connect me to the Strider Mafia, but, please, only tell those five. You and they are the only people in the force and the government that I truly trust.
Sollux nodded his head. riight. And Rose relinquished the ticket.
As the two lovers ran off to make it to the first romantic dinner they have yet had, Rose turns back to Magpie.
May I have my things back now?
Oh, no, you, your father and I have a lot to talk about.
Magpie groaned and followed Rose to a conversation she was really dreading.

asdfhjklioewqt... ugh, I'm tired, but it's finally done. Hope you all have enjoyed this one!

For anyone who's curious this story, as a whole was 5631 words!

[Wigmund]

That was great Rediklaus. Poor Maggie :3 She's gonna get an earful.

[crepuscularDissembler]

@kayak
Haha yeah no I mostly draw her that way because it amuses me deeply to do so when I'm sleep deprived. I only thought of the connections to her possible parentage afterwards.

Auntie Rose is going to set her little niece straight, huh? I imagine lots of "Ugh, you're just like your father when it comes to these things" and both Dave and Maggie acting all insulted.

[gingerale]

Hehe, I think she's a fun character. Hard headed, immature without realizing it and jumps into conclusions. Oh and parent issues. Yep, definitely a teenager. xD

Waiting to see more of these wonderful fics.

*e: What do you know, I was still on the previous page and didn't see all these posts.

[Thatoneguy]

*e: What do you know, I was still on the previous page and didn't see all these posts.

Happens to everyone.

[Octopuddle]

So
Pupa cracks me up
because
I associate him with Johan, as I thiiink was mentioned earlier in this thread!
so
I made another unfinished peice of crap
and
uh
yeah
Click the image for the optimum but slightly huge viewing size!!

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(this is unfinished but thanks for kicking me in the ass about painting, thread!)

[Redikalus]

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Oh, this is wonderful!

"uhhh, My Dear
Miss Serket
Look at me!
Look at me!
The Pupa inside me, umm, has already grown so large!!!"

Thanks for the comments everyone.

[battlerek]

The more I read about Magpie the more I can't help but think of Cassandra Cain from Batman. I can see why some people are concerned over fears of her being a mary sue, but as long as she doesn't suddenly become the center of the AU's mythos and overstages everyone, induces plot stupidity to people around her so she can look better and generally doesn't go Enoby on us it's fine.

Octopuddle because of you I can't help but imagine Tavros tricking poor Casey into going to Alternia's red light district and breaking his poor mind.

[battlerek]

So here's another short fanfic by the way, starring AR again.

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It was for the good of the city, AR told himself. The times, they were a-changing, and you either boarded the train of progress or you refuse to believe those metal monstrosities are safe and stick to the old, dying horse of stagnation. And if there was one thing AR didn't want, it was being on the old, dying horse of stagnation while it was being lead to the back of the barn so Old Man Mcgee could put him down, because old man Mcgee was half-blind and was an awful shot. After that it was agreed that he won't be going back to the countryside of reactionary conservatism.

He made a mental note to think of better metaphors next time. Maybe he'd even eat a few books and learn new fancy metaphors, just like the mayor does. "Are you done with your preparations yet, officer Captor? I'd like to go back to my office now."

"Juth a few more miinuth, Chief."

AR groaned and buttoned up his jacket. It was a surprisingly cold and windy evening tonight in Alternia, and in such times standing on top of a building wasn't advisable. "Wait, IIt's done, thur." Officer Captor announced.

"Good. Activate the beacon then." AR said hurriedly.

Officer Captor shifted uneasily. Activating the beacon was a job only he could do, and though Sollux was proud of being a man of the law, even he had his limits. "Thiir, do II have two? Offiicer Pyrope can contact hiim, though II don't know how she does iit."

"For the love of GPI Officer, do it or you're suspended!" AR snapped.

Sollux sighed. He placed a paper-mache funnel over his head and fired a beam of light through its top. In the starless Alternian night the crow insignia of crowboy(/crowbro, but that name never stuck) could be seen throughout the city. "Thiir thiith iit iincrediibly siilly."

They waited half an hour, but Crowboy didn't come. Odd, considering it only took him 15 minutes to suddenly appear behind the Chief as if he appeared out of thin air. "You can take that thing off now."

"Yeth thiir."

"We could've really used his...help." AR said reluctantly. All this vigilante nonesense still left him a bad taste in the mouth. "If we could've gotten one of those super-powered nutjobs working with us on this case we'd have narrowed down the felt's location by now. Officer Captor I already said you can take that thing off now."

"II'th pretty comfortable thiir, iif iith not a bother II'd liike two wear it for a while. "

Had he possessed one AR would've pinched his nose in disappointment, but since carapace people like him didn't he settled for a X2 facepalm. Sometimes he just didn't understand what his officers were thinking.

[Metana]

Ok, so that poem thing Magpie was reciting when slashing Nepeta up reminded me of This, consequently thats what I think her voice sounds like.

[Deeum]

If we want to take a break from this Magpie discussion, there's something I had just wanted to draw since I thought of it last night. Pretty much every cop show eventually has to do the whole "cop goes undercover as a hooker" plot, but if a certain other cop AU taught me anything, it's infinitely funnier when the cop doing so is a guy. And since I have no idea where this'd go in writing and would probably just be a DOUBLE K ripoff anyway...

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Ugh crappy sorry...Maybe this was just an excuse to draw Sollux in drag. THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW.

Back logged enough to see this and all I can say is..
YES This brightened my day.
---
Updated stuff and whatnot. Firefox crashed on me three times while trying to update it.

Going to weep into the horn pile now.

[frostedWarlock]

Also I forgot to mention that in the RP group, Troll!Cops is an Alternian sitcom. Yes, with all the violence and drama and shit, it counts for an Alternian sitcom. Hell, maybe an Alternian kids show. Sure would explain the title cards!