TROLL!COPS: The AU

[tectonicRobot]

Apparently I failed.

Sad face

[Huanir]

Apparently I failed.

Sad face

That was in reference to posting before FG signed off, FYI. I didn't fail a class or anything. I don't even take classes anymore - I graduated from a fancy-schmancy university a year ago.

[tectonicRobot]

Nevermind then.

[Aquila]

So now we got a Pupa again and we finally got a Mayor WV in the RP. I guess Summertime business is beginning to pick up.

I still gotta update that recap though. Things are settled down now, so I finally got some time to do it.

For those of you who are interested, I'll post the old recap here. Warning: somewhat outdated and messy. And long.

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--BACKSTORY/ACT 0--
- Roughly two decades into the past, Bro is Don Strider and Dave is probably six. For reasons unknown, Bro was somehow directly the cause of Tavros getting arrested for something and sent to jail.
- Tavros is arrested and jailed without proper proceedings, as the prison is running secret child soldier-esque experiments behind the government's back.
- Kanaya, head of this project, takes a special interest in Tavros, and decides to have a lot more experiments done on him than usual.
- Tavros's legs get sawed off and replaced with faulty cybernetics that injure him whenever he moves. The mental stress causes his psychic powers to unlock, allowing him to control living things. However, controlling a complex mind physically hurts him, so he is forced to control animals.
- A little more than two years later, Tavros manages to escape the prison by controlling a lion at The Alternia City Zoo, causing at least seven deaths.
- The newspaper prints a story about the attack, and claims that Don Strider was one of the victims of a lion who somehow escaped from the Zoo. It is Dave's ninth birthday, and at this point he develops his hatred/fear of cats.
- Tavros, at this point developing the name Pupa, keeps Bro, who survived the attack, hostage, not knowing how to get the best possible revenge possible. The Pupa develops a hatred of Alternia City due to what it did to him.
- A week later, Dave is appointed as the new Don Strider, though he does not take on any actual mafia duties until he is much older. The Pupa begins setting up his powerful empire.
-- Skip years into the future (but not many)--
- At this point, Dave is in his late teens.
- The Pupa has kept Bro barely alive over the years as a form of torture, but decides this isn't enough. The Pupa decides to torture Dave, as this is possibly the only way to make Bro even more miserable.
- Dave, getting a little frustrated with the condition Alternia City is starting to develop, begins training to become a superhero.
--At this point, actual RPs are happening chronologically and you can consider this to be the start of Act 1--
- At this point, Dave is an adult, and it is the present.
- Dave has become The SeppuCrow, and has the allies of The Eldritch, EgbertMan, and SpaceLass. He flirts with the idea of a romance with Terezi.
- The Pupa decides to frame Don Strider for a massive heist, claiming as Tavros to being a witness of Dave robbing a whole jewelry store.
- Due to Don Strider's bad publicity, Sollux and Eridan almost immediately arrest him, but Terezi manages to convince them to hold off until they investigate further.
- A pair of iShades is found at the crime scene.
- As forensic research takes place, the SeppuCrow and Terezi work together, and eventually determine that Tavros is the Pupa. However, they lack any evidence and are believed by no one, so they are forced to stop investigating.
- The iShades are proven to have Dave's DNA on them. Terezi is only barely able to convince them to hold off the arrest.
- The Pupa calls Don Strider, telling him that he'll convince the police to drop the case if Dave is able to discover the identity of the SeppuCrow. If Dave tries to pull anything funny, he will instead kill innocent civilians, including Terezi.
- Dave, determining that the Pupa either wants to own or kill the SeppuCrow, decides to, as the SeppuCrow, call the Pupa and reluctantly pledges servitude in exchange for leaving Dave and Terezi alone. The Pupa is satisfied, as despite not getting the secret identity, he still has what he wants.
- The Pupa encounters a homeless man by the name of Andrew and learns that Nepeta's lusus is alive in the Lost District. The Pupa assumes that Andrew is some sort of psychic gone mad, but still takes him at his word.
-- This can be considered the end of Act 1, and the start of Act 2--
- The Pupa sends evidence proving Dave's innocence to the troll!Cops.
- Dave tells Terezi what happened and Terezi admits that she can't handle worrying about Dave anymore due to all the drama. She and Dave break up.
- Dave becomes suicidal and goes on a bender, during which he blabs his secret identity to SpaceLass and tells her his situation.
- SpaceLass decides to work on the Pupa case from behind the scenes to help Dave.
- The Pupa decides to force the Bandit Trio to live in the SeppuCrow's Lair, as he knows Karkat hates it when forced to do anything, but also because minions can't do a good job when living off of hobo-grade scraps.
- At some point, the Pupa tries sending in a stray cat to the Base with Nepeta to spy on SeppuCrow, but SC flips the fuck out. Jade discovers Dave's fear of cats and also the death of Bro. Jade decides to take the cat home with her and keep it as a pet until it's healthy.
- Karkat discovers two giant clawsickles in a pile of junk at the Lair, which were apparently a beta weapon for SC before he fully decided on his superhero identity. Karkat also snatches a backpack designed to give him heightened speed and jumping. SeppuCrow reluctantly teaches Karkat how to use both.
- The Pupa orders SeppuCrow and Weasel to go to the Lost District and steal some computers and files from an abandoned home. The Pupa intends to get information from famous roboticist Dr. Chiron.
- SeppuCrow and Weasel reluctantly work together and steal the items in an event that will get fleshed out when it actually gets shown in-story (read as: actually gets RPd).
- The Pupa discovers Jade's identity through the cat and holds it over SeppuCrow's head to taunt him.
- Dave tells Jade the news, but doesn't care that much because the way that Dave tried to break the news to her (inviting her to a fancy restaurant, sitting at a private booth, being nervous) made her think that he was trying to propose to her. This leads to an awkward conversation that eventually leads to Dave and Jade becoming a couple.
- Don Slick contacts Karkat, saying that if Karkat showed more initiative, his trio might get a formal invitation to work with the Midnight Crew, with full protection from the Pupa. Tavros catches wind of this somehow and decides to do something nice for once in an attempt to instill loyalty.
- The Pupa finally manages to rescues Pounce, who was able to find him due to a homeless man, and eventually ships her to the SeppuCrow's Lair.
- Nepeta is pleased at this (though disappointed to discover Pounce's many scars and skinny frame). Dave flips the fuck out so much that he goes into a weird psychotic state where he acts like a feathery fucking asshole and starts going insane. Jade would've found it hilarious if it wasn't so seriously dangerous. The Pupa discovers that he can control humans as long as their mentality is literally animalistic and manages to use a psychic assault to snap Dave out of it.
- Rose (who learned Dave's secret identity through Jade) decides to try and help by attempting to get Dave past his fear of cats (not knowing about Bro's death). Rose's methods result in Dave falling into a coma out of a combination of extreme stress and fatigue. Rose and Jade discover that Dave has heavy dark bags under his eyes, and that he apparently hasn't had a good night of sleep ever since his bender.
- Jade accidentally reactivates a dormant AI in Dave's base and names him Charles.
- Jade and Terezi fight over Dave, but shortly discover that Don Strider has a meeting with the Midnight Crew in an attempt to have peace between them. Rose decides to disguise herself as Don Strider, and it miraculously works. Diamonds Droog is able to deduce that Don Strider has a mole in the police force and demands access to that mole to cement their allegiance.
- Terezi meets up with Droog at a later date, both of them using aliases as they agree to help each other in an attempt to take down the Pupa.
- Four days later, Dave wakes up from his coma, for some reason unable to see cats. Terezi gets into a fight with Pounce, breaking her arm. Dave, Terezi, and Jade rush to the hospital, with Dave explaining to Jade in secret that he has no idea if he could ever choose who he loved more.
- The trio make it back to the Crow's Nest to discover that a homeless man named Andrew has broken in. He is able to somehow put Terezi to sleep as he gives Dave and Jade each warnings. Dave will eventually be backstabbed by Terezi, and Jade must avoid all alleyways. He also thinks that Rose might be gaining weight due to eating too many danishes.
- Dave reveals that he has been making gifts for both Terezi and Jade. Terezi gets a pair of teal dragon wings that work like a glider while Jade gets enchanted glasses that let her see anyone that she can visualize in her mind.
- Dave plays minigolf with Slick and discovers that he is terrible at this sport and sets up a meeting to play Poker with Slick and Droog later.
- Jade gets evicted from her apartment due to maxing out her unpaid credit cards. Dave gives her a job as her consigliere and has her move in with him.
- Terezi, furious at this new development, leaves Dave and decides to make her pay by making a deal with the Midnight Crew and putting a hit out on Jade. She adopts the dark magic identity Scales7.
- Jade discovers an old box of junk of Bro's in the attic and learns of Lil Cal and Bro's weird puppet fetish (which Dave sincerely believes is just a level of irony too complex for them to understand, completely missing the fetish). Throughout a series of accidental puzzling, Dave and Jade discover a recorded message from Bro. Dave also discovers some weird junk in his attic.
- The next day, Jade is off getting a tux for her new job while Dave decides to gift Rose the junk he found, including an old collection of maps of the town and its underground, apparently drawn by Bro. Senator Lemonsnout quickly buys these maps (as well as a jade lamp) and heads out on his way.
- Throughout a series of accidental magic, Dave becomes a woman and Rose becomes a golem. Dave decides to go with it, assuming that it'll throw the Midnight Crew off their game if she distracts them.
- Dave and Jade play Poker with Droog and Slick, and Jade completely cleans them out, apparently being an expert poker player (even if she doesn't know how to play). Dave gets drunk off her ass out of frustration, alerting Slick to that Dave is not as emotionally stable or a coolkid as he puts on. He decides to use this to his advantage later.
- Droog toys with Scales7 emotionally, making her fall in love with him. He tells her that the best way for them to kill Space Lass scott-free is to have someone else do it, and Droog tells Scales7 that she must somehow convince Mindfang to do it.
- Lemonsnout accosts Dave on a roof and asks for her help retrieving some artifacts from a consort gang. Dave obliges, but midway through their mission, they encounter Hobo Hussie who can apparently use the Cairo Overcoat to gain Green Sun powers. Lemonsnout reveals he can do the same.
- Dave equips the Timetable, a temporal discspinner, to skip to after the battle and Lemonsnout tells her to keep the device.
- Andrew ambushes Dave at the Crow's Nest attempts to brainwash Dave with chaotic love into giving up the artifacts. Future Dave (Time Clone 314) appears and kicks Andrew's ass, saving Dave and making her realize how important the Timetable is.
- Dave manages to convince Rose to turn her back and leaves Cal and another artifact, a pair of sunglasses that can see the unseeable, to be analyzed by Rose. Rose discovers that Cal is alive and Cal torments her and her customers, causing Rose to gain the nickname Loony Lalonde.
- Jade discovers that Strider Manor and the Crow's Nest are full of Dave timeclones and that one timeclone booked her and the original Dave a hotel room to stay in until the timeclones start to thin out.
- Scales7 is accosted by Dave 314, who is from the future for a desperate chance to win Terezi's heart, as future Terezi has moved on and Dave cannot stop living in the past. Dave gets caught by Slick and Droog, and Droog forces Scales7 to slash Dave's eyes, blinding him. Another timeclone comes to retrieve him and take him to the hospital.
- Less than a minute later, Dave 404, who can smell like Terezi, meets Slick, prompting him to summon Scales7 and Droog so that they can have a discussion. Dave 404 gives Slick a package from future Slick, saying that it's about "Padfoot". Neither of them knows what that means.
- Scales7 accosts Dave 404 after the meeting, who seems to openly loathe her, saying that Terezi could have never loved him, as she blinded him and in the future he doesn't even get to see his daughter's first steps and that Terezi doesn't give a damn. He then goes on to rant that the Timetable curses him to adhere to nonsensical timeloops, effectively making himself into a puppet. Scales7 faints due to the heavy torrent of confusion, hate, and guilt.
- Terezi wakes up from her stress-induced coma a month later. For some reason, Slick lets her leave the Midnight Crew consequence free as she heads over to Dave, apologizing and making up with him, realizing that she has romantically gotten over him.
- Terezi wakes up a month earlier, discovering that a Dave sent her back in time in order to fulfill some sort of role. Terezi discovers that the recent events have awoken her Seer of Mind powers, her different emotions and concepts becoming personified in her head. Dave, who represents Retrospect, and Lemonsnout, who represents Progress, inform Terezi that she must find her personal Artifact to allow her to fulfill her Seer of Mind powers.
- Terezi winds up making a bond with Gamzee over the span of a few days, both of them discovering Cal (as well as Terezi's artifact) in the window of Rose's antique shop. Terezi breaks in and fights Cal, accidentally entering the passing Dave's mind. Gamzee, out of habit, robs Rose's shop and absconds. Rose finds the mess, assumes the unconscious Dave caused it, and dragged him off for illegal magicky shenanigans.
- Terezi discovers mental vaults with Dave's most private memories about his relationship with Terezi. She also fights the mental personification of Dave's fear of cats, which turns into a more Nepeta-like catgirl after being defeated. Terezi leaves Dave's mind, forgetting Cal.
SKIPPING INTO THE FUTURE/INTO ACT 3 BECAUSE MY MEMORY IS SHOT. This is pretty much copypasta from an OOC chat. I'll edit this later.
<Don-Strider>Vriska discovered Hobo-Hussie and Cal having a panty raid in her bedroom.
<Runner-Shanti>oh boy
<Don-Strider>Vriska kicked them out, but then realized that Andrew left Ms. Paint (a bucket of paint) in her bed. By jumping into bed too fast.
<Don-Strider>Quick sidenote
<Don-Strider>in our AU, trolls sleep in sopor water beds
<Don-Strider>It just makes nighttime scenes easier to RP
<Runner-Shanti>ok, makes sense
<Don-Strider>anyway
<Don-Strider>She then went to her bathroom to try and wash the paint off, but the Pupa (who is trying to pull Vriska into kismetude) has filled her waterpipes with spidercorpses.
<Don-Strider>Vriska's extreme rage caused her to hit her head into unconsciousness.
<Don-Strider>In her unconsciousness, she somehow discovers an orange hood that radiated pure bliss.
<Don-Strider>When she woke up, she was completely clean and wearing her God Tier outfit.
<Don-Strider>So we now have God Tier Vriska
<Runner-Shanti>huh
<Don-Strider>Would you like me to go on or to temporarily switch rails to Aradia?
<Runner-Shanti>whatever you'd like. i'm good with anything
<Don-Strider>I'll switch to Aradia
<Runner-Shanti>okies
<Don-Strider>Elsewhere, Aradia was pulled away by FutureDave to a moment FAR in the past so they can have a conversation
<Don-Strider>FutureDave tells Aradia that her future self has to tell present Aradia that she has to discover her Destined Artifact soon. Aradia has no idea what that means, and is doubly confused since futureDave seems to be flirting with her in his weird, distant way.
<Don-Strider>When Aradia asks why her future self can't just tell her face to face, futureDave explains that her future self doesn't want to get pulled into the timeloop shit Dave has to deal with, since girl has her own problems! FutureDave also reveals that in the future, Aradia will eventually be brought back to live.
<Don-Strider>Aradia barely believes Dave, but since Dave tells Aradia a secret that futureAradia told him once while drunk (that Aradia would never want ANYONE EVER to know about), she decided to take him for his word.
<Don-Strider>Understand so far?
<Runner-Shanti>yep
<Don-Strider>Coolioso.
<Don-Strider>This next part is fairly unimportant, but the next day, Vriska comes into work wearing a tacky orange hoodie over her cop uniform, refusing to take it off despite Terezi protesting that it smells like overripe pomegranates.
<Don-Strider>Just setting up something that happens later.
<Runner-Shanti>xD
<Don-Strider>Anyway, a few days later, Vriska and Aradia are in their cop car at night, waiting for the radio to alert them of anything to do. The Hood is overeager to do something and Vriska has to leave Aradia to go God Tier and try to let the Hood relax.
<Runner-Shanti>oh right, i'd heard about the artifacts having that backlash sorta effect
<Don-Strider>A few minutes after Vriska leaves, Aradia gets a radio from a cop from the other precinct of Alternia City (the competent precinct. our precinct is the hilariously disfunctional kind).
<Don-Strider>Aradia discovers that there's suspicious activity going on in a dockside warehouse. Aradia, who waits for Vriska to return (to no avail), decides to investigate herself.
<Don-Strider>Elsewhere, Vriska has gone God Tier and is pretty much flying above Alternia City, being consumed by pure bliss.
<Don-Strider>When Aradia gets to the warehouse, she discovers that it's being run by the Mobster Kingpin and that he seems to be concocting Five-Alarm Hot Sauce. She discovers that the hot sauce, when ingested, turns even the lowliest of mooks into a giant red killing machine.
<Runner-Shanti>o.o
<Don-Strider>Yeah, Problem Sleuth shit
<Runner-Shanti>right
<Don-Strider>Aradia senses a weird resonance within the warehouse and finds herself breaking in, fighting the lowliest mooks. However, one of them injests the Five-Alarm Hot Sauce and turns into a Fiesta Mook, who enters an extended battle with Aradia.
<Runner-Shanti>hang on, has this been aliveAradia the whole time, or ghost/bot/etc?
<Don-Strider>PresentAradia is a robot
<Runner-Shanti>ok
<Don-Strider>Soulbot
<Don-Strider>Whatever
<Runner-Shanti>yeah
<Don-Strider>Aradia manages to dispatch the mook, getiing slammed into a crate in the process. There, she discovers a beautifully designed music box. Lemonsnout (who is somehow more of a main character than Sollux at this point) appears shortly afterward.
<Don-Strider>Lemonsnout explains Aradia her role as the Maid of Time in more detail, filling her in on details that futureDave was horribly cryptic about/
<Don-Strider>Aradia notices that a Dave is at the Docks late at night, apparently just staring at the ocean. Lemonsnout advises her to ask Dave for help as to how to use her music box.
<Don-Strider>Elsewhere, Vriska is still overwhelmed with pure bliss.
<Don-Strider>Aradia tries to talk to Dave, but Dave acts wary of her, as this Dave is present Dave and previous plot points have caused him to not trust the polife that much.
<Don-Strider>Aradia manages to convince Dave to help her with the music box, but Aradia and Dave discover that her Music Box is just way more powerful than Dave's Timetable.
<Don-Strider>It has easier controls, allows you to actually move in space AND time, warns you when you're going to cause a Time Paradox, and can alter the past ever-so-slightly.
This experience causes presentDave to HATE HATE HAAAAAAAAAAATE Aradia, because he has issues with how he has to adhere to timeloops like a puppet, lest he die.
Later, presentDave gets a crush on futureAradia. I don't know what to tell you.
alright. Just wanted proof you were alive.
Anyway, the next morning at dawn, Vriska manages to come down from her bliss high...
And discovers she spent the entire night stealing things.
On this bliss high, she stole the White King's Scepter and the deed to Alternia City.
As well as other important artifacts and documents that could spell BAD
She kind of freaks out about it and demands to know what the hell just happened. She discovers the Hood has a mentality attached to it and has a mental conversation with it.
Vriska discovers that the God Hood hops from person to person, looking for puppets with easy-to-manipulate strings, as the God Hood has a mentality of pure id.
When Vriska protests that she isn't a puppet, the God Hood controls her body and has her do a humiliating dance.
When Vriska tries to manipul8 the Hood into leaving her alone, the Hood has Vriska beat herself into submission.
It then does a freaky domsub thing where the Hood beats Vriska, demanding (and succeeding) that Vriska call herself "Silky Longlegs" and admit to being a puppet.
After Vriska submits to the Hood's will, it gives her control again, telling her not to do anything stupid. Vriska is kind of horribly freaked out.
The next day, Vriska walks into work, horribly beaten up.
When Terezi and Aradia ask Vriska to explain what happened, Vriska finds her jaw feel as though its wired shut whenever she tries to tell them about the Hood. However, Aradia manages to infer enough about it to determine that the new hoodie is the source of her troubles.
Terezi attempts to enter Vriska's mind and get rid of the Hood, but the Hood simply sucks Terezi in and spends thirty minutes having Terezi beat herself into unconsciousness as Vriska mentally watches.
When Aradia tries to call Lemonsnout and have him get rid of it, Lemonsnout determines that Andrew must have left the Hood in Vriska's apartment when he did that panty raid, as Andrew considers himself a god and would consider the God Hood his property. And since this is Andrew, he clearly WANTS Vriska and would consider a God Hood Vriska to be his property.
However, before Lemonsnout can actually banish the God Hood, the God Hood taps into Green Sun power to do a temporal retcon, hving Aradia and Terezi completely forgetting the incident while Lemonsnout is only able to remember that the God Hood is on the loose.
<Don-Strider>The Hood threatens to kill Vriska is anything like that happens again.

Just a side-note, I didn't write or edit this recap. I'm in the process of rewriting and expanding upon it though.

[mythmonster2]

Oh look, a continuation of that Demon!Deuce story I posted a while back.

Heart Full of Empty: Part 2 1

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“WHO’S THERE?” Hearts Boxcars roared. If anyone was going to intrude on his grieving, they were dead. He had already pulled out a card and was halfway to the intruder when he saw who it was.

Boxcars stopped dead in his tracks. In front of him was Clubs Deuce.

“D-Deuce?”

The short Dersite didn’t respond for a second. Then, leaped towards Boxcars and let out an inhuman roar. Boxcars instinctively covered the sides of his head. If he had had ears, they surely would have started bleeding from the intensity of the shriek. The instinctual movement caused him to be unprepared for Deuce’s tackle, and he fell backwards, Deuce on top.

Boxcars, though stunned, was still able to kick him off, then stood up and said, “Clubs, what the fuck’s gotten into you? It’s me, Hearts Box-”

He was cut off when Deuce extended him palm, and then shot a burst of fire at Hearts. He jumped out of the way, but the blaze still came close enough to singe his suit. Behind him, a car exploded from the blast. Realization finally dawned on him

“You’re not Deuce.”

Clubs –no - the creature tipped his head back and laughed. Again, Boxcars’ hearing was completely assaulted. Then he began speaking,

“Correct. The one you know as ‘Clubs Deuce’ is long gone. But he still serves a purpose… heh heh heh. Giving me a body with which to enact my plan.”

The demon once again pointed his palm at Hearts, but a flurry of bullets stopped him. Diamonds Droog stepped out of the front door of the mansion, gun raised. Behind him, Spades Slick brandished a sword, prepared to charge on a twitch. Spades pointed the card at the demon and said, “You may not be Clubs, but you’re got his body, and he was as killable as anyone.”

The demon growled, and then ascended into the air. As the figure turned into a speck, then disappeared, the three Dersites planned.

Boxcars started, “What the fuck just happened? That was Deuce, but he wasn’t at the same time?”

Droog raised a hand, telling Boxcars to stop, and started explaining, “No, that wasn’t Clubs at all. It was just his body. Going by the fire and the sudden ability to fly, what I would say happened is that down in Hell, Clubs found a demon. That demon made a deal with Clubs. In that deal, Clubs could come back here, but somewhere in the fine print, the demon made it so Clubs became nothing more than a host body for the demon. But there’s something he said which is worse than that. A plan, he said.”

Spades thought for half a second then said, “A demon. Like hell we’re gonna let a demon have Deuce’s body. Come on, fellas.” He started walking in the direction the demon had flown off to, but Droog placed a hand on his shoulder.

“No. We may have driven him off, but that’s just because we caught him off guard. And if he’s a demon, who do you think he’s getting help from?” He stopped as Slick muttered something under his breath, “Yeah, MK. Plus, if we just shoot him, then Clubs will still be dead. But, if we can somehow find a way to get the demon out but leave the body here, there’s a chance…”

Boxcars spoke up, “That Deuce’ll still be here!”

Slick protested, “And how are we gonna exorcise a demon, huh?”

Droog stood silent for a moment, looking into the distance. Then he responded, “I can only think of one person who deals with magic besides MK.”

Slick and Boxcars looked at each other, and then Slick snapped his head back to Droog, “Oh fuck no. You are not suggesting that we-”

Boxcars cut him off, “No. If it’s the only chance we have of gettin Deuce back, we have to take it. And besides, she’s got friends. They can help us.”

“And what makes you think they’re just gonna help us out rainbows and sunshine?”

“If a demon has a plan that involves him being on Earth, it can’t be good.”

Slick looked to both the stony faces, then sighed and said, “Fine.”

“Then we don’t have a moment to lose.”


In another part of the city, Mobster Kingpin hunched over a book. He read out loud, confirming the words he was looking at, “One million souls. Impossible before, but now, child’s play. Hah!”

A phone began ringing. He picked it up and listened. A smile began forming on his face, and he replied, “No, no. Not yet. I’ll have to get out of the radius. Preparations shall have to be made. But soon, and then the world will burn.”

[Fire Goliath]

Thankyou Huanir. I posted that before I went to bed, don't be feeling bad. To be honest, I have no idea what Dave's motive is. I wanted to set him up as a sort of Green Hornet style character, doing crimes to cover his good deeds. I set up a sort of framework for Dave (who really doesn't have much of an established motive beyond doing good) for others to jump on. I hope somebody does, though.

EDIT: Also, It seems as though (by that lovely recap), I am mostly right in that Dave's specific motivations, 'beyond be superhero, do good' don't seem well fleshed out. I also noticed no (or very little) Doc Scratch fics. I find that interesting.

[chuckleAmbassador]

SO I made Trollcop Vriska in All Points Bulletin Reloaded:

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Aviators because some fiend made the actual glasses a near top-tier unlock.
If anybody happens to be interested in a Trollcops clan I'm on EU1, Open Beta begins in a few days time.

[Aquila]

All Points Bulletin? I've heard of that... I think. Either way, I gotta say that your Vriska is FUCKING AWESOME.
Although I'm kinda interested in what course that conversation about firm boobs went...

And Dave's motivations don't seem fleshed out because he's sort of a wayward soul. He's sort of on the edge of self-destruction half the time that it takes some help from other characters to pull him through it. At least by the RP's canon.

And Doc Scratch is in the RP, just not in the recap. Although in both canons he and The Felt are somewhat underground I think.

[Rational Absurdity]

Just wanted to pop in to say: In the name of all that is right and just, dialogue spoken by the character AR is to be color-coded as this message is presented.

[Aquila]

There's some side-talk in the RP about making a spin-off. Most of TrollCops takes place in modern day, there's talk of creating an event centered around a 1940's-ish period with the ancestors and/or guardians of the cast, among others.

[Phi]

Ehm...I'm Phi.

I discarded my anonymity, however temporarily, to show this to the lot of you, since I'm fans of your works (Wigmund in particular).

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And Round Two...

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I would ask tolerance for the sloppiness. They're done in ink pen and I was in a great hurry...and pay no mind to the lightning thing. Trust me.

[Aquila]

I like it! I don't get what she's chasing, but it looks awesome.

If you submit it to Deviant Art, you can submit it to the TrollCops group and we'll feature your art.

[Zrcalo]

just wanted to say...
this show totally reminds me of trollcops.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnQzR...eature=related

[zebtrestalala]

Ampora Files, Case 124: Section 1 [2]

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=> Jade: Explain

You are not Jade right now!

=> Fine. Eridan: Ask her to explain.

“So wwhat exactly are we talkin about here? Howw exactly wwas he killed?”

“See, that’s the thing! I think the crime might have been set up. The police chalked it up as random consort violence, but all things considered I’m thinking that it might have been something else. My grandfather was very kind with animals, you see. Well, those that he wasn’t hunting.”

“Did he evver hunt any consorts? Wwas somebody pissed off about their lovved one dyin on em or something?”

“No! My grandfather had more of a conscience than that! “

“Wwell wwhy don’t you tell me exactly wwhat happened Miss Harley,”

“Alright…”

"It was about 10 years ago, when I was only thirteen. Well, actually, this all started when I was three. My parents were killed in a car crash, and my closest living relation was my grandfather. He took me in and raised me like I was his own daughter. It was just Bec, him, and me, all living together in a mansion that could have fit three more families."

“Wwait, you’re related to that Harley? Hass Harley? Wworld explorer an nuclear physicist? Renowwned billionare?”

“Yes, Detective, that’s my grandfather,” she replies.

You are slightly taken aback. This lady has more money than you could’ve possibly imagined. Maybe you should’ve gone for more. Aimed for 10,000. And you thought 1,000 boonbucks was pushing it. Everyone knows that boonbucks are suffering in the global trade market nowadays. You’re truly an idiot, Ampora.

“Alright wwell continue”

"He taught me everything that’s gotten me this far. He showed me how to wield both a rifle and a soldering torch, what the effects of radiation were on the body, and how exactly to calibrate a nuclear reactor to keep it from overheating. It was a lot for a ten year old girl to learn, but grandpa was never mean about it. If I was good, and I learned everything he wanted me to, sometimes he would take me with him on a short voyage. Just across the sea or something, and never for too long. He showed me so many things, Detective! And as much as I hated when he left me with Bec, I always loved when he came home. And…then he didn’t.

The police told me the next morning that it was just a stupid crocodile. It had attacked him, and he dropped his pistols. Next thing you know, he has a bullet through his leg and his head. You should never let an animal duel-wield flintlock pistols, you know? For the longest time I was deathly afraid of those things, thinking that each one of them could’ve been the one that killed my grandfather, and then I was next. But as time went on, and I began to travel the city by myself, I began to think. Those things almost never attack a human alone, always in groups. Yet the police were sure that it was just one alligator, based on the scents and footprints there, I don’t really know all the details. Also, how the heck would an crocodile know how to wield a gun? They aren’t exactly meant to be wielded by crocodiles. I don’t know too much about forensics, but it just doesn’t seem to all match up!!"

“That’s a vvery interestin point you havve there Ms Harley. This is an intriguin’ case to be sure”

“Do you have any ideas?”
“Wwhat? Do you really expect me to form anythin else based off of just that?”

“Um, no?”

“That’s the right answwer. Listen Harley this is gonna take some sleuthin an it might take some time. I’ll need you to tell me evverythin you can.”

“Like what? I already emptied my life story out to you!”

Ooh, on the defensive. Is she hiding something? Oh man she’s trying to pull a fast one on you and you know it. You’ve gotta stay strong, you can’t let her feminine wiles effect the integrity of this case! You have to stand strong and never give in to the terrible charms of this tigress, waiting for you to be lulled into security before she strikes with a vicious fervor!

“Don’t be usin that tone on me I’m just tryin to help Harley”

“Oh…sorry about that, Detective, I’m just a little stressed. What more do you want?”

“Anythin happen in the past feww years that gavve you any hints, at all?”

“Well, I mean, after my grandfather died, it was hard for a while. I had to learn how to pay all the bills, and how to repair all the plumbing and stuff, but I wasn’t just going to give that mansion that I grew up in away to some random conceited billionaire! And before you say it, my grandpa was NOT one of those people. I got some help from my cousin and his family, the Egberts. Our grandparents were siblings, you see. My cousin At the age of sixteen I went off to college, graduated in three years with degrees in physics and chemistry, then went to grad school until I was twenty-one, and I’ve been working as a nuclear physicist for the past two years associated with S.E.E.R.”

S.E.E.R? Oh gods, who knows what sort of untold funding they could provide? You should have gone with 100,000 boonbucks for this case, this girl is a walking piggy bank, and you could potentially be the hand that smashes the piggy banks on the counter, frantically grabbing with your grubby little fingers for that last boonbuck to buy overpriced ice cream. But you digress. There is a case at hand.

“Okay so now that wwe have your wwhole life story laid out is there any reason you came to see me today of all days?” you ask.

“Well, it’s just that…ten years later, I feel like I finally have security. I have a job, an education, support from family, and I know how to actually pay the mortgage on that mansion. But, his murder, it’s…it’s the final loose end that I need to tie up. It was ten years ago, yesterday, that he was killed.”

An anniversary. Of course. You can’t even begin to count the number of cases that began with “on this day, you will pay for what you did 4/6/13 years ago.” It’s just full of symbolism and all that shit. You guess you can understand it, a little bit. You still hold a moment of silence on the day that your lusus died, 12 years ago. What people don’t realize is that the perpetrator can’t be all bothered to remember this day as “the day I killed someone that someone else cared about.” Hell, for a crocodile, it’s probably just thinking “nak nak nak nak nak food nak nak.”

“So you’re lookin for closure eh? Wwell I can’t make any promises, but as long as you wwork wwith me I think wwe can make a dent in this mystery. Noww, like I said before did anythin tip you off in the past feww years?”

“No, nothing! I mean, no one’s been targeting me, or threatening me, if that’s what you mean. It’s like almost everyone else has forgot that Hass Harley was even alive 11 years ago.”

Hmm. Looks like the killer may have just wanted to get Harley out of the way. Or, if it was the crocodile, couldn’t even process that he killed someone. Well, at least you have someone/thing/where to start.

“Wwell, let’s take a look at that crocodile.”

You wish it was that easy. You’re going to have to delve into police records, which you’re not techinically fully authorized to look into, as a third party operating through the APD. Nonetheless you have your methods.

=> Eridan: Get help from the inside.
Of course. It helps to have contacts.

Terezi: Be the help
What? No! You couldn’t possibly conceive Pyrope being any help on this matter. Even though the law is kind of flimsy to her, justice isn’t, and you’re pretty sure that she’s just be obnoxious and go through some philosophy of justice bullshit before hours later finally agreeing that maybe your case is in pursuit of justice and not just you being desperate for work. It’s more trouble than it’s worth.

Sollux: Be the help
No. Just…no. You and Captor don’t get along. Not that you’re prejudiced, but that low-blooded piece of trash can just go stick his bulge in a meat grinder for all you care. It certainly wouldn’t be too professional to have a kismesitude with Officer Captor, but nonetheless the chemistry is there, seeing as how he takes it as his personal mission to get on your every last nerve. What a jerk.

Equius: Be the help
No. Sergeant Zahhak would just sweat everywhere and worry about pissing off the commissioner. The area is too grey, and your blood is too purple, for you to expect anything from him.

Aradia: Be the help
N0.

Fine. Vriska: Be the help.
But of course, Officer Serket would most likely have no qualms about doing something this dirty. You can appreciate a dame who doesn’t play by the rules, it’s sufficiently hardboiled and worthy of writing into a dime novel. It helps, too, that you were close when you were younger, in a “I hate you with every inch of my heart hey wanna go flarp together” sort of way. Your days of puppy hate have long since passed away, and you threw all your hate notes to her in the trash sweeps ago. Things are still a little tense, in a way that human romantics would never understand, but that’s the sort of stuff that stories are made of. Frankly, Ms. Harley is a little bit to cooperative for your tastes. It honestly makes you a little uncomfortable. You tell her to hold on, you’ll be right back, and then go searching Serket-ward.

With a little fiddling, you’re able to open the lock on Officer Serket’s door. Seriously, she always keeps her door locked, and yet somehow neither Equius nor the Commissioner are the least bit suspicious of her. Well, maybe Equius.

You duck as soon as you open the door, and a paperweight shaped like an 8-ball flies over your head. This is a typical greeting when you pull something off like this.

“Eridan, what the hell?! Who g8ve you any sort of permission to pick my lock and 8ust in here uninvited?! Seriously!!!!!!!!”

“Not now Vvris I got a case on hand,” you reply, suavely walking up to her desk.

“8ullshit! Your stupid hardboiled act is pathetic, Ampora, and it doesn’t give you any permission to 8r8k into a Police Officer’s room!”

“Dispatch Officer”

“Fuck you! You 8etter tell me what you want in the next 8 seconds or I’m going to throw something a lot more lethal at your head!!!!!!!!”

Just like old times.

“I need you to fetch a case file for me on a murder of one Hass Harley,” you tell her.

“You’re investig8ing the Harley case? That one was closed 10 years ago! That was 8efore you even started working with the force! 8efore I started working on the force! Why would you want to look into it?”

“Not me. His granddaughter.”

“Oh, jeez, you actually got a c8se? Way to go, Douchescar!”

“Thanks it means a lot Bitchfang” you retort, becoming a little bit agitated with Serket’s BS. When in doubt, resort to insulting one’s ancestors. To some, it would be incredibly insulting, but to you two, it’s almost become a form of greeting, a pleasantry exchanged between two people in a beautiful hating relationship.

“Alrighty then, let’s see what we can dig up, huh?” she replies, a smile spreading over her face. If there’s one thing that Vriska is waxing black for, it’s probably the rules of society. With a swing of her key ring, and a turning of a key (how she manages to convey the unending river of vitriolic bile coursing through her body with only the turn of a key will never cease to amaze you).

=> Examine Case File
In summary,
Date: July 5, XY02
Murderee: Hass Harley, Human, aged 67
Murderer: Jut Papershoosh, Consort [Crocodile], aged 21
Instruments: Two (2) Flintlock Pistols, created XX80. Bullet wounds enter through leg and head, exit leg and head. One shot fired from each pistol.
Witnesses: None. Thanks to Officer Pyrope’s skills, we were able to deduce the killer’s identity, but there were no witnesses to the crime.
Location: Alternia City Heights

“Wwell, it’s a start,” you say, pocketing the case file in your trenchcoat.

“You’re just going to t8ke it? Who the hell do you think you are?”

“Detective Ampora, P.I., thanks for askin. Noww wwho do you think you are hidin in your office like that?”

“Someone who’s 8usiness is none of yours, Eridan! Now keep your sleuthing to yourself and 8e useful for once in your misera8le existence!”

And just like that she’s gone, a flurry of blue rushing out the door in a hustle. She’s a mystery all in herself, that troll. Someday you hope to crack the shell of her enigma, but today is not that day. Not when Ms. Harley is waiting on you. Hopefully the fact that she was fawning over a pirate hat on her desk won’t end up being on your mind for the rest of the investigation.

But again, you digress. You have a case on your hands.

So yeah please leave some comments/criticism on this one, it will really help me to flesh out a good story outta this.

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Not that the killer isn't kind of obvious.

[krosp]

I've been lurking around mspaforums for awhile now, but I'm pretty shy, so I didn't officially join xD Now I have joined the forums just because of this thread. This is such an awesome AU. And you've all worked so hard to make it so elaborate! It's really cool!

As I've paged through all the fanfiction I could find on here, my heart went out to one Sollux Captor. He has a knack for dooming all over your heartstrings when he's not being a total jerk, doesn't he? There's a lot of fics with Terezi as the main character, and I love her to death, but I thought I'd try and write a little something with Sollux as the lead. There's no action going down in this yet. It's just a drabble. I might expand on it or maybe not.

i'm not 0kay with this

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“1 M1SS H3R, TOO. YOU’LL MOV3 ON SOM3D4Y.”


“how do you know ii havent moved on already, or even that ii care?” I snapped at TZ, slamming my shake on the outdoor table‘s surface, “what iif ii’m 2o bu2y lookiing at her non-exii2tent elbow2, thiinkiing, ‘2hoot, tho2e thiing2 are bendiier than the 2traw2 you get at mcdontroll’2’ that ii am COMPLETELY forgetting that 2he meant 2omethiing two me ten year2 ago?? huh??” She knew so much better than to comfort me when I got like this. I stared into the depths of my grape-and-some-sort-of-other-crap whipped grubshake. Sometimes breaking eye contact helped me calm down. Okay, so it never actually helped me to calm down, but a fellow can give anger management a try, right? RIGHT? 2crew thii2 craptastiic beverage, I couldn’t help but think to the hoard of voices in my mind telling me to flip it over. My fingers twitched. I was so tempted to arrest the guy who sold it to me. I could find a reason if I thought hard enough about it. I could. For example, the mess. The lid of the drink had popped off a little and spewed barfy-looking mess all over one side of the table. Come on, what kind of business was he running, selling lids that popped off? I snatched a few napkins from Terezi's side--since that crazy woman never USED them--and tried to wipe some of it up.

“BLUHHHHH WHY DO 1 3V3N BOTH3R,“ my partner complained, distracting me from that rip-off piece of merchandise, though she poked me with a smirk still on her face, “MR. S3NS1T1V3 MCMUST4RDF4C3? TRY 4 SM1L3, FOR ONC3, 4ND L1GHT3N UP, WON’T YOU?” I could’ve slapped the black-lipped grin off her face right then. I could slap the black-lipped grin off her face every single day. For the first two years of our professional relationship, I tried almost every single day. Then I got tired of missing.


“why DON’T you 2top botheriing me about my mu2tardface?” I retorted weakly. “iit’2 not that bad and... YOU can’t 2ee iit anyway.”


She gasped. I wasn’t sure if the stab I felt after making a reference to her blindness was guilt or indigestion. It was a weak remark; the gasp meant that she was about to own me with a serious comeback. Her unseeing eyes weren’t angled towards me, so Pyrope’s misdirected wink traveled through the restaurant’s window to the poor cashier inside, who after a bewildered look left and right, pointed one gray thumb at the center of his white-aproned chest. Oh gog. “DON’T M4K3 M3 L1CK TH4T MUST4RDF4C3, C4PTOR!” She poked me some more, oblivious. “1T COULD B3 V3RY D4NG3ROUS FOR YOU 1F 1 D3C1D3 TH4T YOUR F4C3-CONC34L1NG 4PPL3B3RRY 3Y3W34R 1S D3L1C1OUS.” Oh gog, he was still looking at her. She wouldn’t be able to smell him through the window. Okay, so I was upset, but really, TZ was my partner and that kid was freaking me out. Jegus, everyone is so creepy when they’re teenagers. I don’t even want to remember what I was like, but I couldn’t be as bad as this kid, with his huge glowing eyes and zits and fanged overbite. Quickly, I snapped out of my mood, and put an arm around her shoulder, giving him a pointed look that only an angry guy with a woman on his mind can give, a look that says ii feel liike kiilliing 2omeone riight now, and your neck iis wiithiin my reach.” No, Terezi wasn’t the woman on my mind, nor was that relationship I was in, but as my partner stiffened under my arm, I realized that not only had I just been yelling at her, I was kind of hugging her too hard.


“the face underneath ii2 the real danger, bliindy,” I muttered. I didn’t use to flirt back. It was too annoying. Now, still, I didn’t always put any heart into it; it was just a way I confessed that she’d won. She always won. I thought for a moment and flashed her a smile, too. I might hate that she always won if I wasn’t on her team 75% of the time.


“OOH, 1 LOV3 1T,” she grinned, scooting closer and giving my cheek a motherly pinch, knowing fully that if anyone else had done so, I would shoot them. I grimaced. But I also quickly relaxed as the youth looked away. “SM3LL TH3 BLU3 R4SPB3RRY T4NG OF MY BLUSH, C4PTOR,” she teased, “FOR 1T 1S 4LMOST 4S SW33T 4S JUST1C3.”


TZ is a tease if there ever was one. I’m a jealous guy. Now, I’m a jealous guy in a relationship who’s gotten used to not smelling blue raspberry tang because my partner’s too busy licking for fingerprints. She’s a dog. Seriously. It was pretty disgusting to watch her work before she discovered orange tic-tacs. Now it’s both disgusting and colorful. How TZ. She does it to bother me and it works. I’ve got to get her into gum-chewing with all the crap she licks. Maybe I should just carry mouthwash with me everywhere we go. If I can find red mouthwash for her, my every problem will be solved--I could piss rainbows and puke rays of sunshine with the joy and happiness which would come with work. Thank Jegus Pyrope’s the best there is at her job... and puts up with me. Why wasn't she beating me up right now? Was she just having a really good day or something?


She licked her bright yellow watch and pushed me away suddenly, absconding to our vehicle, where she struck a dramatic pose. “1T’S YOUR F4VOR1T3 T1M3, C4PTOR!“ she announced, “2:22 4ND T1M3 FOR...” she held out her hand, waiting, “GO1NG ONC3... GO1NG TW1C3...”


“gog ju2t get on wiith iit already--”


“YOU 4R3 SUCH 4 P4RTY POOP3R!!”


“JU2TIICE OKAY??”


"SOLD TO TH3 JUMP1NG JUST1C3 JUB1L33’S N3W3ST 1NV1T33, D3L1C1OUS-HON3Y MCMUST4RDF4C3! W3 H4V3 SOOOOO M4NY P4RT13S TO CR4SH TOD4Y, C4PTOR, YOU DON’T 3V3N KNOWWWW.[/COLOR]”


“ye2, ye2, we wiill be cra2hiing criime partiie2 like a bliind woman’2 driiviing the ju2tiice mobiile,” I replied with typical sarcasm.


“WHO4, W41T, 1 C4N DR1V3 TOD4Y???” She looked so excited that I quickly stood up to possibly restrain her, “NO that wa2 a metaphor!”


“H3H3H3 C4N W3 ST4RT C4LL1NG TH3 COP C4R TH3 JUST1C3 MOB1L3?” she asked mischievously.


“... YE2.” Like I said, she always won--but it was accurate! I was a boss driver! And I was also a harbinger of major justice. So was my vehicle. I had been driving the same car for ten years--of course I would let Terezi call the only thing in my life that I could love more than half the time by a name as awesome as the Justice Mobile.


“4LR1GHT, L3T’S G3T 1N TH3 JUST1C3 MOB1L3, MCMUST4RDF4C3, 4ND CR4SH SOM3 CR1M3 P4RT13S!”


As always, just as I was about to excuse myself to fill a chamber pot with the rainbows crowding my small intestine, something happened. AA turned to look at us, the glare of the sun off her metal torso nearly blinding me before she caught my eye--if she could do that, actually exchange a look with some hopeless, nostalgic moron with her ugly, lifeless, SPOOKY glass THINGS--and I ducked into the car after TZ, furious again. She noticed, and sighed.


“plea2e tell me ii can 2hoot thii2 guy on 2iight,” I muttered as Pyrope passed me the case file, and with her now-empty hand, a sympathetic pat on the ear. I gave the plain manilla folder and its contents a once-over, then handed it back to my partner. I started the ignition and turned the radio way up, and we blasted heavy apple berry metal for the next six miles to let this doomed moron know we were on our way to deliver what was coming to him. Justice. Tz wouldn’t be calling me a party pooper for very long.

[krosp]

Ampora Files, Case 124: Section 1 [2]

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=> Jade: Explain

You are not Jade right now!

=> Fine. Eridan: Ask her to explain.

“So wwhat exactly are we talkin about here? Howw exactly wwas he killed?”

“See, that’s the thing! I think the crime might have been set up. The police chalked it up as random consort violence, but all things considered I’m thinking that it might have been something else. My grandfather was very kind with animals, you see. Well, those that he wasn’t hunting.”

“Did he evver hunt any consorts? Wwas somebody pissed off about their lovved one dyin on em or something?”

“No! My grandfather had more of a conscience than that! “

“Wwell wwhy don’t you tell me exactly wwhat happened Miss Harley,”

“Alright…”

"It was about 10 years ago, when I was only thirteen. Well, actually, this all started when I was three. My parents were killed in a car crash, and my closest living relation was my grandfather. He took me in and raised me like I was his own daughter. It was just Bec, him, and me, all living together in a mansion that could have fit three more families."

“Wwait, you’re related to that Harley? Hass Harley? Wworld explorer an nuclear physicist? Renowwned billionare?”

“Yes, Detective, that’s my grandfather,” she replies.

You are slightly taken aback. This lady has more money than you could’ve possibly imagined. Maybe you should’ve gone for more. Aimed for 10,000. And you thought 1,000 boonbucks was pushing it. Everyone knows that boonbucks are suffering in the global trade market nowadays. You’re truly an idiot, Ampora.

“Alright wwell continue”

"He taught me everything that’s gotten me this far. He showed me how to wield both a rifle and a soldering torch, what the effects of radiation were on the body, and how exactly to calibrate a nuclear reactor to keep it from overheating. It was a lot for a ten year old girl to learn, but grandpa was never mean about it. If I was good, and I learned everything he wanted me to, sometimes he would take me with him on a short voyage. Just across the sea or something, and never for too long. He showed me so many things, Detective! And as much as I hated when he left me with Bec, I always loved when he came home. And…then he didn’t.

The police told me the next morning that it was just a stupid crocodile. It had attacked him, and he dropped his pistols. Next thing you know, he has a bullet through his leg and his head. You should never let an animal duel-wield flintlock pistols, you know? For the longest time I was deathly afraid of those things, thinking that each one of them could’ve been the one that killed my grandfather, and then I was next. But as time went on, and I began to travel the city by myself, I began to think. Those things almost never attack a human alone, always in groups. Yet the police were sure that it was just one alligator, based on the scents and footprints there, I don’t really know all the details. Also, how the heck would an crocodile know how to wield a gun? They aren’t exactly meant to be wielded by crocodiles. I don’t know too much about forensics, but it just doesn’t seem to all match up!!"

“That’s a vvery interestin point you havve there Ms Harley. This is an intriguin’ case to be sure”

“Do you have any ideas?”
“Wwhat? Do you really expect me to form anythin else based off of just that?”

“Um, no?”

“That’s the right answwer. Listen Harley this is gonna take some sleuthin an it might take some time. I’ll need you to tell me evverythin you can.”

“Like what? I already emptied my life story out to you!”

Ooh, on the defensive. Is she hiding something? Oh man she’s trying to pull a fast one on you and you know it. You’ve gotta stay strong, you can’t let her feminine wiles effect the integrity of this case! You have to stand strong and never give in to the terrible charms of this tigress, waiting for you to be lulled into security before she strikes with a vicious fervor!

“Don’t be usin that tone on me I’m just tryin to help Harley”

“Oh…sorry about that, Detective, I’m just a little stressed. What more do you want?”

“Anythin happen in the past feww years that gavve you any hints, at all?”

“Well, I mean, after my grandfather died, it was hard for a while. I had to learn how to pay all the bills, and how to repair all the plumbing and stuff, but I wasn’t just going to give that mansion that I grew up in away to some random conceited billionaire! And before you say it, my grandpa was NOT one of those people. I got some help from my cousin and his family, the Egberts. Our grandparents were siblings, you see. My cousin At the age of sixteen I went off to college, graduated in three years with degrees in physics and chemistry, then went to grad school until I was twenty-one, and I’ve been working as a nuclear physicist for the past two years associated with S.E.E.R.”

S.E.E.R? Oh gods, who knows what sort of untold funding they could provide? You should have gone with 100,000 boonbucks for this case, this girl is a walking piggy bank, and you could potentially be the hand that smashes the piggy banks on the counter, frantically grabbing with your grubby little fingers for that last boonbuck to buy overpriced ice cream. But you digress. There is a case at hand.

“Okay so now that wwe have your wwhole life story laid out is there any reason you came to see me today of all days?” you ask.

“Well, it’s just that…ten years later, I feel like I finally have security. I have a job, an education, support from family, and I know how to actually pay the mortgage on that mansion. But, his murder, it’s…it’s the final loose end that I need to tie up. It was ten years ago, yesterday, that he was killed.”

An anniversary. Of course. You can’t even begin to count the number of cases that began with “on this day, you will pay for what you did 4/6/13 years ago.” It’s just full of symbolism and all that shit. You guess you can understand it, a little bit. You still hold a moment of silence on the day that your lusus died, 12 years ago. What people don’t realize is that the perpetrator can’t be all bothered to remember this day as “the day I killed someone that someone else cared about.” Hell, for a crocodile, it’s probably just thinking “nak nak nak nak nak food nak nak.”

“So you’re lookin for closure eh? Wwell I can’t make any promises, but as long as you wwork wwith me I think wwe can make a dent in this mystery. Noww, like I said before did anythin tip you off in the past feww years?”

“No, nothing! I mean, no one’s been targeting me, or threatening me, if that’s what you mean. It’s like almost everyone else has forgot that Hass Harley was even alive 11 years ago.”

Hmm. Looks like the killer may have just wanted to get Harley out of the way. Or, if it was the crocodile, couldn’t even process that he killed someone. Well, at least you have someone/thing/where to start.

“Wwell, let’s take a look at that crocodile.”

You wish it was that easy. You’re going to have to delve into police records, which you’re not techinically fully authorized to look into, as a third party operating through the APD. Nonetheless you have your methods.

=> Eridan: Get help from the inside.
Of course. It helps to have contacts.

Terezi: Be the help
What? No! You couldn’t possibly conceive Pyrope being any help on this matter. Even though the law is kind of flimsy to her, justice isn’t, and you’re pretty sure that she’s just be obnoxious and go through some philosophy of justice bullshit before hours later finally agreeing that maybe your case is in pursuit of justice and not just you being desperate for work. It’s more trouble than it’s worth.

Sollux: Be the help
No. Just…no. You and Captor don’t get along. Not that you’re prejudiced, but that low-blooded piece of trash can just go stick his bulge in a meat grinder for all you care. It certainly wouldn’t be too professional to have a kismesitude with Officer Captor, but nonetheless the chemistry is there, seeing as how he takes it as his personal mission to get on your every last nerve. What a jerk.

Equius: Be the help
No. Sergeant Zahhak would just sweat everywhere and worry about pissing off the commissioner. The area is too grey, and your blood is too purple, for you to expect anything from him.

Aradia: Be the help
N0.

Fine. Vriska: Be the help.
But of course, Officer Serket would most likely have no qualms about doing something this dirty. You can appreciate a dame who doesn’t play by the rules, it’s sufficiently hardboiled and worthy of writing into a dime novel. It helps, too, that you were close when you were younger, in a “I hate you with every inch of my heart hey wanna go flarp together” sort of way. Your days of puppy hate have long since passed away, and you threw all your hate notes to her in the trash sweeps ago. Things are still a little tense, in a way that human romantics would never understand, but that’s the sort of stuff that stories are made of. Frankly, Ms. Harley is a little bit to cooperative for your tastes. It honestly makes you a little uncomfortable. You tell her to hold on, you’ll be right back, and then go searching Serket-ward.

With a little fiddling, you’re able to open the lock on Officer Serket’s door. Seriously, she always keeps her door locked, and yet somehow neither Equius nor the Commissioner are the least bit suspicious of her. Well, maybe Equius.

You duck as soon as you open the door, and a paperweight shaped like an 8-ball flies over your head. This is a typical greeting when you pull something off like this.

“Eridan, what the hell?! Who g8ve you any sort of permission to pick my lock and 8ust in here uninvited?! Seriously!!!!!!!!”

“Not now Vvris I got a case on hand,” you reply, suavely walking up to her desk.

“8ullshit! Your stupid hardboiled act is pathetic, Ampora, and it doesn’t give you any permission to 8r8k into a Police Officer’s room!”

“Dispatch Officer”

“Fuck you! You 8etter tell me what you want in the next 8 seconds or I’m going to throw something a lot more lethal at your head!!!!!!!!”

Just like old times.

“I need you to fetch a case file for me on a murder of one Hass Harley,” you tell her.

“You’re investig8ing the Harley case? That one was closed 10 years ago! That was 8efore you even started working with the force! 8efore I started working on the force! Why would you want to look into it?”

“Not me. His granddaughter.”

“Oh, jeez, you actually got a c8se? Way to go, Douchescar!”

“Thanks it means a lot Bitchfang” you retort, becoming a little bit agitated with Serket’s BS. When in doubt, resort to insulting one’s ancestors. To some, it would be incredibly insulting, but to you two, it’s almost become a form of greeting, a pleasantry exchanged between two people in a beautiful hating relationship.

“Alrighty then, let’s see what we can dig up, huh?” she replies, a smile spreading over her face. If there’s one thing that Vriska is waxing black for, it’s probably the rules of society. With a swing of her key ring, and a turning of a key (how she manages to convey the unending river of vitriolic bile coursing through her body with only the turn of a key will never cease to amaze you).

=> Examine Case File
In summary,
Date: July 5, XY02
Murderee: Hass Harley, Human, aged 67
Murderer: Jut Papershoosh, Consort [Crocodile], aged 21
Instruments: Two (2) Flintlock Pistols, created XX80. Bullet wounds enter through leg and head, exit leg and head. One shot fired from each pistol.
Witnesses: None. Thanks to Officer Pyrope’s skills, we were able to deduce the killer’s identity, but there were no witnesses to the crime.
Location: [[Enter Place Here]]

“Wwell, it’s a start,” you say, pocketing the case file in your trenchcoat.

“You’re just going to t8ke it? Who the hell do you think you are?”

“Detective Ampora, P.I., thanks for askin. Noww wwho do you think you are hidin in your office like that?”

“Someone who’s 8usiness is none of yours, Eridan! Now keep your sleuthing to yourself and 8e useful for once in your misera8le existence!”

And just like that she’s gone, a flurry of blue rushing out the door in a hustle. She’s a mystery all in herself, that troll. Someday you hope to crack the shell of her enigma, but today is not that day. Not when Ms. Harley is waiting on you. Hopefully the fact that she was fawning over a pirate hat on her desk won’t end up being on your mind for the rest of the investigation.

But again, you digress. You have a case on your hands.

So yeah please leave some comments/criticism on this one, it will really help me to flesh out a good story outta this.

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Not that the killer isn't kind of obvious.

Perhaps I'm oblivious, but the killer didn't seem too obvious to me! I love this fic! How you make Eridan totally overcomplicate Jade's sweet, innocent, straight-forward approach was absolutely hysterical to read. I also like how you portray the Eridan-Vriska relationship. It's very them :P Your Eridan is just right~

[Huanir]

RE Ampora Files:

A couple of quick touch-ups: after Eridan's "Alright wwell continue", Jade's paragraph is uncolored, and the following one doesn't start with a quote mark. Also, I think you forgot to finish the "Location: [[Enter Place Here]]" part. :P

As to the murder, I'm going to spoiler my guess:

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Mr. Pupa using his animal empathy to control the consort into shooting Mr. Harley. Motive: he wanted the guy's house, either on a whim or for a deeper reason yet to be explored.

I'm trying to figure out how I feel about the 2nd-person perspective in a fanfic. It worked really well in chapter 1, but it seemed more distracting this time around. However, I can't pinpoint why, so maybe it's a subjective observation, thereby rendering it (the antecedent being the distractiveness) a function of my state as a reader at the time of my reading. Was I distracted because it was distracting or because my attention span was lowered by Windows Update? My conclusion is that I don't know how I feel about it. Yes, I know, I'm so helpful.

RE krosp's first post, i'm not 0kay with this:

"slamming my shake on the outdoor table‘s surface" - good introduction of setting, though I can't imagine this not making a mess.

"YOU 4R3 SUCH 4 P4RTY POOP3R!!" "JU2TIICE OKAY??" - this section argues for the use of color in trolltalk. Sollux's and Terezi's quirks are distinct, but not as distinct as the difference in capitalization, so I had to reread this part to figure out who said what.

I think you capture Sollux quite well. Poor guy doesn't get much attention, so it's nice to see someone who can handle the inside of his head. I'm not sure it's a task I'd dare take up. Well done!

Also, welcome! Glad you're here.

[krosp]

COLORS /derp. Oh my gog how did I forget those? xDDDD Thanks for the feedback, Huanir (and the welcome~) I went back and tweaked it a little on your advice! And yes, I'm not sure how I feel about retreating deep into the recesses of his not-so-honey-sweet mutant brain :/ Poor babby. I appreciate the appreciation :P I had to go write something incredibly silly from Feferi's perspective immediately afterward xD But I enjoy his sarcasm greatly, so oh well~

[Huanir]

I'm working on an Eridan mystery called A Study in Violet, but it's really hard. I've started reading mystery novels to learn some of the conventions, and my conclusion is that I'm going to suck really bad at this. It'll take a TON of preparation, and I'm not sure I can pull it off. However, I feel that it's a hurdle I have to clear before I can write the Feferi intro-fic I'm hoping to get around to (which will be Terezi POV, thus making it something I'm looking forward to). Gah, I've been too ambitious in my plans for my TROLL!COPS works.

Alas, I'm sleepy and whiny. Maybe in the morning I'll make an edit about how awesome everything is. Then I'll go to work, where I'm too busy to think about mystery, and I'll get home too exhausted to write. Bluh bluh.

--EDIT--

Still bluh bluh.

[zebtrestalala]

I see what you did there, Huanir. But yes, reference secured, and with some effort you can do it. I've only read a few detective stories for Detective Fiction class I took, so I only have minimal experience, and actually right now I've hit a bit of a writer's block. But I'll go back and edit what you said, since I have some time today to go to where there's internet connection (I don't currently have constant access to it, so that's a problem).

What are the areas of the city again? The two maps in the OP don't have labels.

[Huanir]

I use this one: http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post4438979

Writer's block is a pain.

[Namboto]

Finished part two. Now he has a name and a bit of a background. Canon characters will start appearing in #3 for sure.

Tails of the Kitsune: Part 2 (part 1)

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My reflections slid from the job itself to the years which led up to it. You could say that I started walking this path 4 years ago, when I was 15 human years old. I had gotten into a bad crowd, a really nasty collection of trolls, all of them blue or purple bloods I might add. These were, of course, some of the most popular kids in the school and many people thought that I, Crevan Devedi, the small little troll with squinty eyes, was lucky to hang with them. In truth I was far from lucky; they led me on some rather dubious endeavors, from vandalism to shoplifting to breaking into houses. I really never enjoyed these activities, but I was too scared to voice my opinion on the matter. That and I felt indebted to the leader of the group.

His name was Gallad, a purple blood whose father owned a large corporation. He had protected me from bullies when I was younger, telling me that it was because my father had died saving his during the green sun disaster. I would later find out that most of that was a lie made to gain my loyalty.

My uncle, the one who had raised me since my mother’s death, never did approve of any of that crowd. He let me have my freedom, although that cost him everything in the end. I should have trusted his judgment back then. Now my memories of him are tainted with regret and grief. So much could’ve been avoided.

The crimes grew worse in the meanwhile, and I was beginning to wonder if I’d ever be able to get away from this way of life. I began to make excuses, claiming that school or something else required my attention, and that I couldn’t make it. Gallad was no fool, and caught on quickly. He decided to teach me a lesson, one that I’d never forget. He wanted to show me that what he was doing was no joke, that they weren’t the actions of some unguided delinquent.

He led me through one of the worst parts of The Settlements, into an abandoned alleyway where we waited in the shadows. Gallad kept checking his watch, growing more and more impatient as the minutes ticked by. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, a rag dressed human stumbled in. A shark-like grin carved its way across the purpleblood’s face, and he stepped out to greet the poor, unfortunate soul.

“Sos, haves yous gots mys Ceagarss? They’res longs overs dues.”

The man stumbled back in shock, apparently he hadn’t expected, or wanted, to see Gallad. I could relate.

“I-I-I” He stuttered.

Something about him seemed off; every reaction seemed to come seconds late, like his entire being was running slower than everything around him. I remembered hearing about these symptoms in school, the man was on sopor slime.

Sopor is an interesting substance. Trolls need sopor to sleep, it’s the only thing that can calm us down, and a troll that ingests it might go a little strange for a while, but recuperation is possible. Humans on the other hand can’t handle the stuff, a single drop of it and they’re hooked for the rest of their lives, or whatever’s left of them (usually they only live for a few years after they first take it). It slows them down, chills them out, eventually it turns them into a vegetable, only able to drool and die. The penalties for dealing sopor to humans are so high that most dealers won’t even consider it.

Judging by his appearance and mannerisms, this man only had a few months left before he wouldn’t even be able to blink.

“N-n-n-noooooot-tt-t ye-e-et, j-j-ju-us-t wa-a-i-t aaa l-i-itt-le b-i-it-t-t, I-I-I’l-l g-ge-et i-it s-o-oo-nnn”

“Nots soons enoughs mys goods mans. I’ves wasteds lotsas goods sopors ons yous. Times tos pays thes pipers.”

“O-on-e m-o-or-e-e-e we-eek-k P-le-ea-seee!-!”

Gallad frowned and said nothing, just slid his switchblade out of his pocket, flipped it open, and raised his arm. For months afterward I would wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t interfered. Would Gallad really have gone through with it? Could the man have run? It’s useless to think about now that I know the answers to both of those questions, but for a long time it plagued my mind.

I moved fast and grabbed the older troll’s arm, hoping to save the poor man’s life. I looked the highblood in the eye and spoke up.

“DO|\|’T DO T|-||S G/\LL/\D, J|_|ST LET |-|I|\/| GO.”

Gallad’s expression didn’t change as he smashed his elbow into my ribs and slashed my cheek with the knife.

“Is hads suchs hopess fors yous, Crevans.”
And with that he brought down the handle of the knife on my head, and the world of light fled from me.

****

I woke up in my house, sweating and hurting. I wanted to think that it was just a dream, but no dream leaves you bleeding. The house seemed quiet, dead, scared. It was just after six, my uncle should’ve been home by then. I rushed down the stairs, grabbing an ornamental sword on the way, and froze. In the foyer was my uncle, or rather his corpse, stained deep blue with his blood. Standing on top of him, similarly dyed, but with the addition of human-red, was Gallad, his frown replaced with a mad grin.

There was a moment there, a single instance.

Everything was gone.

Silence.

Silence, and then a scream.

Rage like I’d never felt it before, like I’ve rarely felt since, rage that froze my soul and scorched my mind. Everything jumped into crystal clarity. Individual drops of blue and purple flying through the air, splashing on the ground around me. A knife blade entering my shoulder, slicing into flesh and muscle, my fist smashing into his jaw, a slash across my abdomen, every detail is imprinted in my memory. I wasn’t a whirlwind, I wasn’t a demon, I don’t know what I was. The fight, for me an eternity, an eternity of pain and death, was for the world but a few seconds. My blade found his chest, my world blurred, and I ran.

****

Days later I would learn that the house had burned down. Weeks later I would learn that Gallad had survived and had accused me. Months later they suspected that I too had died, burned in the fire that had consumed all else. Years later I would discover that the case had been closed and never re-opened.

But before all of this I escaped to the sewers, where no police would dare look for me. It was there, amid the filth and monsters, that I was found by a small tribe of consorts. They would nurse me back to health and give me a place to stay. I would gather news clippings on my rare trips to the surface. And I would foster a hate for the high bloods that I believed were to blame for all of my problems. It was then that I resolved to undermine their rule in whatever way I knew how. That was a prejudice I'd carry with me for quite a while, one that I've only recently began to question.

Notes:

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This went through so many revisions and I'm still not completely happy with it, I had planned out more backstory and even some interaction with canon characters, but it just didn't fit in. Sigh someday I'll be able to write.

One thing I enjoyed coming up with was the effects of sopor on humans though.

thoughts?

[zebtrestalala]

Ampora Files, Case 124: Section 1 2 [3]

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=> Eridan: Hit the streets


“So, is this usually how your sleuthing works, Eridan?”

You don’t know what inspired you to bring Harley along. Maybe it was her, begging to be part of the investigation. Maybe it was the warmth in your hardboiled heart. Maybe you aren’t so sure about crocodiles. But regardless, she’s here, and she’s engrossed in your investigation. Which hasn’t even started yet.

“Look Jade I appreciate your interest in this sorta thing but could you just showw a little less interest in it?”

“I was just asking a question!” she replies.

“I knoww but it’s just…”

It just ain’t hardboiled, that’s what it’s not. You’re a fucking P.I., not Professor Layton. This is why you have an aversion to sidekicks. You’re no superhero, and you sure as hell don’t need a Robin.

“Oh, hey, look! 120 Elf Avenue!” she suddenly exclaims.

“Do you havve any sense of tact wwhatsoevver? Christ Harley”

A nervous looking and very wrinkled crocodile answers the door. Judging by the looks of it, this house is way over its carrying capacity, and also way past its prime. As the door swings open, you can hear the strain on the hinges, and you can see the rust that has accumulated on them, the doorhandle, the lock and pretty much everything. Behind the crocodile, there are at least 4 others trying to fit at a table built for three, baby crocodiles crawling on the floor, trash and molding carpets everywhere.

“Nak?”

God fucking dammit. You were really hoping you wouldn’t need a translator.

“Hi!” says Jade, before you can say anything. “We’re here looking for Jut Papershoosh?”

“Nak!” exclaims the crocodile, a panicked look spreading over his/her face. “Don’t know!” it continues in a guttural voice. So it’s the grandpa croc.

“We just wanted to-“

“Nak nak nak nak nak! Not here! Not have nothing!” he screeches, and slams the door shut.

Jade stands there silently. Okay, business time.

With a firm boot you kick the door in, a few hinges coming loose in the mean time. You didn’t really think that would work, but hey, you’ll take it.

“Listen you filthy animal you tell us exactly wwhere Jut Papershoosh is right noww or I’ll inform the authorities about your inability to maintain your household! You probably don’t evven owwn this place do you?” you yell. “Jut’s done some shit he has to answwer to so stop tryin to savve him an make things easy for yourself!”

“Eridan! That’s no way to treat an animal! He’s obviously scared!”

“Jade, this croc coulda killed your grandfather an you’re just gonna jump to his defense like that wwhat the hell?!”

“I’m not jumping to his defense! Being callous isn’t going to get anything done!”

“Nak?”

“Shut up! I’m busy scolding a detective!”

Jade stops short after saying this, and with a look of embarrassment on her face, turns towards the elderly crocodile, and leans forward to meet him eye to eye.

“Look, Mr. Papenshoosh, we reeeeeally need to speak with Jut. I don’t really think that he’s guilty, but we’ll never know if you don’t help us out. So please tell us where he is?”

The crocodile stares with a vacant expression on its face for a while, before finally, after a storm of nervous naks, pointing towards a set of stairs. “Two down left”

The upstairs is no better than downstairs, not that you were expecting much. The wallpaper is peeling, the carpet is ripping, and the paintings have faded beyond recognition. It’s disgusting. The door appears to be stripped of paint, too, just bare wood.

“Jut Papershoosh? I’m Detectivve Eridan Ampora, and wwe’re invvestigatin the death of Hass Harley. The death you were responsible fo-“

You barely have time to dodge a large clump of unidentified matter being thrown at your face. You are getting a lot of things thrown at you today. In hindsight, it was probably a bad idea to start with that introduction.

“Hey noww listen here I’m not here to do anythin-“ you start, before jumping away from a heavy looking metal pole directed dangerously close to your head. You grab the pole at the end of it’s swing, and bring both it and the crocodile holding it down to the ground. “Cut it out wwith the fuckin funny business or you actually wwill end up in the slammer, if I don’t put a bullet through you first!” you snarl.

“No take! NO TAKE!!!!” he screeches.

“We’re not here to take you, Mr. Papershoosh!” exclaims that dumb broad who you’re quickly beginning to realize isn’t cut out for this hardboiled shit. “I just want to know if you really killed my grandfather!”

A bleary eyed crocodile stares up at both of you, his body sprawled in the doorway. As he stands up, trying to fill the doorway to protect his domain, you catch his reek of his own piss and alcohol. You think you can detect a hint of cannabis as well. From what you can see of his shielded hideout, there are several cockroaches and old beer cans lying about, forming a carpet on the floor. What a wreck. This case looks to be quickly turning to shit. You’re not gonna get anything outta this guy except a bunch of sorry-ass excuses.

“Sorry pretty lady. Bad troll scary. Humans more nice,” croaks the drugged out crocodile.

“Aw, thank you. Now, Mr. Papershoosh, the, um, police said that you killed my grandfather. Now, I don’t really know if that’s true. Is it, Mr. Papershoosh? Why did you kill my grandfather?”

“Don’t ‘member”

“Hass Harley. That was his name. He was wearing a round hat, and he had a long coat, and a long funny mustache that tickled you when he kissed you, and glasses that gleamed in the sun. And buck teeth, just like mine! Well, before I got braces.”

“Old man? That while ago. Memory no good.”

“Please, Jut, try to remember. Why? Why did you kill him? Did someone tell you to?”

“No. Maybe? He look funny? I no know. Something told me he was supposed to die. Yes, I think something tell me he should die.”

“What? You’re not making any sense!”

“He’s makin perfect sense Harley. Somebody hired him to kill your old man. Typical case really. Takin advvantage of helpless animals like these to do somebody’s biddin, promisin them untold funds and drivvin them wwild.”

“Well, alright. Who told you to kill my grandpa?”

“Don’t know. I drink whole day away after.”

“But you remembered everything else! This person needs to be brought to justice, Jut! Don’t do this to me!”

“I no know. Some money show up later, I buy me expensive drink and then it a week later and me no know how.”

“You drank a week of your life away on blood money?! I can’t believe you! Your family is this poor, and you waste the only money they’ve had for years on alcohol?! I was hoping you wouldn’t be this bad, but now…” she stops short, starting to choke up on tears.

You pause for a moment. On one hand, you’d like to reach out a hand and comfort her, but on the other hand, you feel like based on your luck today, you’d end up with a fist firmly planted in your face.

“Come on Harley, wwe got other wways to find out wwhere his money came from. Hey Jut, you bank with Nakendoofenpap?”

“Pretty lady please make bad troll stop talking to me.”

She looks at the crocodile with a look of exasperation and disgust, and asks, “Mr. Papershoosh, to you have a bank account with Nakendoofenpap Bankers?”

“Oh. Yes. It empty.”

“Good.”

You've got some sleuthing to do. With a curt, and slightly rude dismissal, you say goodbye to the Papershooshes, stepping over tiny little infant crocodiles that snap at your heels and cry on the way out. For every joy this city's brought you, sometimes it just makes you sick.

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Just to be clear, I have writer's block on the next chapter. Somehow, Eridan goes in Nakendoofenpap and gets the records for his bank, but I don't know how to execute that in a hardboiled manner. -sigh- Anyways, comments and criticism is appreciated. This will obviously not be as long as a typical detective story, but it's not halfway over yet.

[liefErikson]

Eridan? Hardboiled? I didn't foresee that one. Keep em coming.

BTW Anyone know what happened to wigmund?

[Entilliumn]

Sopor Somnolence
Fortunately, there was a pail of suds nearby. Gamzee grabbed it in a rush

PAIL
PAIL
PAIL