MSPA Fanfiction IV

[emesis]

Rae, your icon. I cannot stop staring at it.

But back to the matter at hand, I'm really enjoying this series. So goood. This thread is off to an amazing start.

/AND BACK TO LURKING imean

[Sionnan]

Because my Strider mojo seems to be hiding, I've written another ficlet about the Midnight Crew.

Why Spades Slick and his cronies won't play just for shits and giggles.

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His fingers dance over the keys, and while those milky slits of eyes couched in that dark face never relax, his scrawny body sways in time to the music rippling out.

Slick rarely indulges in actually playing music unless it's to truly and properly fuck up some poor schmuck. He says it's a weapon and an instrument as much as it's an art, and it needs to be regarded as such. It needs to be treated with as much respect as you would a loaded gun. The Crew wouldn't disagree with him, which is why they've declined to play at some of the establishments they regularly haunt.

The beat of their music is like a thing possessed, holding an allure that's very much like looking into a dark room and knowing something is there, and being unable to stop yourself from going in. It is impossible to resist, and impossible to stop. And once they play, the thing in the room shifts.

And you realize that all along, it has been your shadow.

And then, as the piano starts it's pedal, it speaks.

As the bass begins, and the percussion underscores, you realize you are going to have a conversation, and it will tell you things, horrible things, incredible things, you never wanted to know.

The piano ripples, and you know that you will never be the same, and you take a breath to respond.

[Decker]

Oh my God this turned out so cheesy, and it turned out to be another Terezi - Vriska fic. But fuckit, I'm posting anyway.

Feudal Japan trolls.

Red Dragon

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She enjoyed the kabuki dances, for more reason than one.
There was, of course, the obvious reasons. The geisha, male and female, put on quite a tantalizing show which could cause quite a stir among the crowd. The dances performed on the stage were at best suggestive and at worst borderline obscene. The troupe that was performing now tended towards the former category.
The figure sitting still in the middle of the crowd with her straw hat pulled down over her face enjoyed it for other reasons. She couldn't see the show, but she could smell and hear the crowd. Their heartbeats, their sweat, their shouts. The energy that pulsed through the room as the show reached its climax was intoxicating in itself.
She heard the whispers when she first walked into the theater earlier. Some were in humor, laughing at the fact that someone with a red blindfold over their eyes would come to enjoy such a show. Others were about the two swords that clattered against her side as she walked, and about the long, white robe she wore. Samurai were not allowed in such shows. Others still, whispered in fear the name she had earned from years of brutal service under a brutal daimyo.
“The Red Dragon.”
Their attention was quickly turned elsewhere as the show started, and the Red Dragon took a seat in an old wooded chair in the middle of the crowd.
The show was over all too soon, as it often seemed. The samurai waited patiently for the crowd to file out. She had to wait longer as the dancers had to explain to the patrons waving money that no extra services would be offered no matter what the offer was. Finally, she sat alone in the room. After a few moments hesitation, one of the dancers walked up to her.
“Forgive me my lady, but the show is over. There is nothing else we are offering tonight.” She said, emphasizing the last sentence.
The samurai's nose wrinkled. She could smell the sweat, makeup and perfume, but under that was a familiar scent. One she never would have noticed before, because the last time she smelled it was before she learned how to see without eyes. The voice too, was an echo of the past. The samurai took off her hat and, for the lack of a better word, looked up at the dancer. The dancer gasped.
“Won't even spare a few moments for an old friend, Kanaya?”

*

Another women walked the bright country road. Though her outfit was somewhat similar to the samurai's it was tighter fitting, and black instead of white. It gave her the appearance of a shinobi, even though that wouldn't be something anyone would advertize. She had one eye, one arm, one short sword, and a sway in her hips as she walked.
It would take until the sun was descending in the sky to find what she was looking for.
To the side of the road, the land dropped down into a valley, where a small farming village sat among rice fields. She focused on one of the men harvesting the new crop. Nobody seemed to look at her as she walked through the fields.
“I'll never understand why you choose to live in this...hole, eating rice and millet” She said as she approached the worker. He looked up at her and snarled.
“And I don't think you ever will. You got a lotta nerve showing up after all this time, Vriska.” He stood up and pointed a sickle at her. “Tell me why I should harvest your head while you're here? Aside from the fact that rice would be more useful.”
Vriska laughed. “Oh Karkat, you never were a match for me, as great a warrior you were. Always getting angry and making mistakes.” She grinned, showing off two pointed fangs. “And you know that I'm harder to kill than that.”
Karkat's eye twitched as his legendarily short temper dried up. He lunged at her. Vriska drew her sword with her remaining hand and deflected the sickle that was coming towards her neck. Karkat sidestepped and swung towards Vriska's right side, where her missing arm and eye gave her a serous disadvantage. So Karkat thought anyway. Vriska ducked the swing, leaned towards Karkat and pushed with her legs. Her shoulder slammed into Karkat's chest, sending him sprawling.
“Ha! Is that the best you can do? Life here has made you soft.”
Karkat growled. Vriska loved pushing him.
“How's Aradia doing. Still feeding the worms? Terezi still blind a bat? Tarvos not going anywhere fast?”
Karkat was on his feet and lunged again, but this time faster than Vriska was anticipating. She dodged the first swing, bringing her sword up to block blow after blow.
“You...think...I can't...control my...RAGE?” He gasped, raining blows down on her. Vriska was loosing ground. “I don't let it cloud my vision anymore. I channel it! I use it!”
Karkat poured his anger into he scythe, until, finally, Vriska stumbled and fell backwards.
Karkat raised his sickle for the last blow, while Vriska looked like she was about to vomit.
She spat, and Karkat suddenly had a mass of webbing on his face.
She laughed and stood back up as Karkat clawed at his face, trying to uncover his nose and mouth.
“I learned a few tricks too. You're lucky I got what I wanted.”
“mmph?”
“Oh yes. All I had to do was mention their names.” She tapped his head. “And now I know where they are.”
“HMPH?!?”
Vriska laughed, and walked through the fields, back towards the road in the fading light.
It was only then that anyone noticed that anything happened.

*

“I don't understand why you're protecting her.” Terezi said.
They were in a back room. Kanaya was cleaning off her makeup. Terezi looked thoughtful for a second.
“Actually, I can understand why you would protect her. But it's still stupid.”
“No one is beyond redemption Terezi.” Kanaya said, looking back at her. “Besides, I haven't seen here lately.”
Terezi sniffed the air. “You're lying.”
“You can smell lies now?”
Terezi was about to say that she actually smelled Vriska, but decided that this would be a good rumor to spread around.
“I don't think you're even interested in redeeming her.” Terezi grinned. “That's what you love about her, isn't it?”
Kanaya didn't say anything, and that said volumes.
“But she hurt you too. I can tell. That's what she does you know. She sees how far she can push things. She likes breaking nice things.”
Kanaya didn't say anything. Terezi sighed and walked towards Kanaya.
“Kanaya, I can't leave here until I have something I can use. She is dangerous and I'm trying to help you. Work with-”
Kanaya spun around. He sleeve spun around slightly slower, but when it connected with Terezi's head, it hit her with enough force to make her head spin. She had sewn lead weights into her sleeves.
Terezi stumbled backwards, not expecting such a violent reaction from her friend. She kept her senses enough to realize that Kanaya ran past her, out to the streets.
Fine then. Terezi would do this the hard way. She knew where Kanaya would be going.

*

Kanaya ran as fast as she could, but it wasn't easy in her robes. When she got out into the woods outside the city, she stopped and looked around. She tore some of the bottom of her skirt off so that she could at least move without tripping over it. She looked around in the dark. She couldn't see Terezi, but that didn't make her any less nervous. She decided to go up the mountain to the shrine. That's where Tavros lived now, and they could talk about what to do. He always struck her as level-headed, even if a little spineless.
The path zig-zagged up the mountainside. It was quiet, and the trees overhead made the path exceptionally dark, but Kanaya could see the path well enough, and there was only one place for it to go.
It took an hour before she finally reached the gate to the shrine. She went over to where Tavros usually spent his days and much of his nights, sitting and looking at the view the city offered way down in the valley below.
“Tavros? Are you awake? There's something I need to talk to...” Kanaya stopped.
Tavros was sitting there, but he wasn't alone. Vriska sat on his lap, kissing him passionately. If anything, Tavros looked even more surprised than Kanaya. Vriska unlocked from Tavros and leered at Kanaya.
“Kanaya. Why, I was just thinking about you.” She grinned.
Kanaya's eyes drifted down to Tavros. He was tied to his chair with thick strands of webbing. He didn't seem to notice.
“You...you were just...”
“Tsk. Just a little fun.” She walked slowly towards Kanaya, looking her in the eyes. “If I had known where you were, I would have come to you instead.”
Kanaya tried to talk, tried to run away, but she couldn't. And she didn't know why.
“You're the one that's special to me.” Vriska reached out and held her chin.
Kanaya felt weak, like she was going to collapse there. She thought she heard soft music playing somewhere far away. She would have happily fallen in Vriska's arms. She leaned forward and...
...and Vriska jumped back as a flash of silver almost removed her other hand.
“Jorogumo!” Terezi spat.
Kanaya blinked and dropped to her knees.

Vriska drew her sword and faced Terezi.
“Strong words. Come to take what is mine? Again?” Vriska snarled. She felt the phantom pain of her missing arm throbbing.
“I thought we agreed to let things go Vriska. But no, you brought my friends into this.” Terezi dashed forward and swung in a wide arc. Terezi had the advantage in strength with two working arms, but Vriska was faster.
“YOUR friends?” Vriska said as she dodged backwards. She tried to bring her blade down into Terezi's stomach, but Terezi kept her away with another swing. “Your friends? You keep taking things from me! You would keep me away from everything that made me happy!”
“Because you're only happy when you destroy things.” Terezi stepped forward and swung again. Vriska was loosing ground. She crouched and jumped up onto the wall surrounding the shrine, reaching into her clothes on the way up. She spun around and let a dart fly, managing to hit Terezi in the shoulder as she pulled herself up the wall. Terezi grunted and pulled the dart out.
“Just a scratch.” She said, despite a teal stain forming on her clothes. She moved forward again, using her longer reach to keep Vriska's wicket knife away. Vriska danced, and lunged, always trying to get in a blow, but never being able to get past Terezi's defense.
But she didn't need to. She wasn't really trying. She just needed to wait.
Terezi noticed that she was starting to feel tired, and then dizzy.
“You...you poisoned...”She gasped. Her sword lowered, just because it felt so heavy.
“Poisoned is a strong word. You'll just go to sleep for a while. Plenty of time to get you in my web and make you WISH you were dead.”
Terezi's sword clattered as it dropped out of her hands, hit the wall, and fell down into the forest.
Vriska stalked slowly towards Terezi, savoring the moment.
“I wonder how you would feel, missing your hands as well as your eyes.”
Terezi leaned on her knees, breathing heavily.
Then she lunged forward and grabbed Vriska around the waist, They both went over the wall and tumbled down the mountainside.

*

Terezi didn't know how long she was asleep, but the first thing she noticed is that she heard a crackling fire. The second thing she noticed is that she was laying on a bed. The third thing she noticed is that she ached pretty much everywhere.
“Uh. You're awake? I think you'll be okay.”
“Am I missing any pieces?”
“I, uh, I didn't look very closely, but, um, Kanaya stitched your shoulder up. I went to get some food, so I didn't, um.” She could practically feel the embarrassment radiating off of him.
“It's fine Tarvos.” She sat up slowly. Kanaya walked back in.
“You shouldn't be getting up. You should rest. You are safe.”
“Oh? And what if Vriska comes back?”
“You do not have to worry about her anymore. She fell farther down the mountain than you did. She's quite dead.”
Tavros nodded solemnly. “Uh...yeah. Broke every bone in her body I think.”
Terezi was silent for a second, and then nodded. She laid back.
But she didn't rest. She was nervous, and felt sick about the whole situation.
Because she knew her friends were lying to her.

Edit: Rae, great job on Bright Eyes. I'm looking forward to the next part.

[Ganato]

Will that have a part two?

'Cause I kinda want to find out what everyone's up to in the feudal japan

[Decker]

Maybe. If I can find a plot that shoehorns everyone in.

[Twigwise]

Well, I did promise...

Chapter 1
Bright Eyes - Chapter 2

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"Hey, you're Terezi, right?"

Terezi, sitting on her bag outside the door of the school, looked up from her half-done homework. "Who's asking?" The question was partly because she still only knew the name of one other student, partly for coolness and partly because she actually couldn't see a thing through Dave's glasses. Which was probably not a problem for the blind boy, but she looked too cool to care.

"I'm John Egbert. Dave's friend." It was the nerdy brunette boy Dave had sat with at lunch yesterday. He sat on the ground beside her.

"What can I do for you, John Egbert Dave's friend?"

"Give him back his shades."

"And why would I want to do that?"

"Because you really don't want to make enemies at this school. Especially enemies like Rose and Jade and me."

"Are you threatening me? What are you, student council or something?" He peered at her notebook, and she shut it with a snap. "I'm not afraid of you, Egbert."

He laughed, the arrogant ass. "No, I'm not threatening or anything, and we're nothing special. Just his friends. We take care of each other."

She kept her silence.

"And Rose can probably help you with that English homework."

Glaring through those shades really didn't work very well. "I don't need your stupid help." She yanked the glasses off and held them out to him. "Here, he can have his dumb glasses back if you people are going to be annoying about it."

John grinned. "Awesome!" But instead of taking the shades, he turned and called out, "Hey, Dave! She said okay!"

How can a blind kid in a bright red shirt with a cane be so sneaky? And yet there Dave was, just around the corner. "Yeah, John. I heard. Hey, Terezi." He was actually wearing her pointy red glasses.

She stood. "Hey, Dave." God this was awkward. "Here's your shitty shades." She shoved them at his chest, and snatched her own back.

"Thanks."

Terezi went for her bag before this situation got any more awkward, but John grabbed her elbow. Apologize, he mouthed.

What?

Say you're sorry, or else. Something like that should really not be said with such a cheery smile.

Dave leaned on his cane. "I hate being left out of all the fun conversations."

Shooting dirty looks at the blind kid still wasn't working. And in other news, sky blue, pope Catholic, bear shits in woods. Details at eleven. Terezi sighed, as gustily and obnoxiously as possible. "Sorry for taking your shit and generally being a bitch. Whatever." The bell rang, and the school doors opened. She slung her bag over her shoulder and hauled ass before she could spontaneously combust from sheer awkwardness.

But before she was completely out of earshot, she heard, "Hey! Sit with us at lunch!"

Keep fucking dreaming, Egbert.

-----

"Why would you say something like that, huh?" Dave's cane caught John on the back of the head with a pap.

"Ow!" He had surprisingly good aim. "Why not? She looked really lonely yesterday."

"And that's our problem how?"

"Dave, just because you got off on the wrong foot doesn't mean you can't try to make friends."

"You watch too many shitty movies with unrealistic morals. She and I are never gonna be friends. The real world doesn't work that way, John."

"Oh, quit being such a pessimist. You never know - anything could happen! Come on, let's get to homeroom before the second bell rings."

-----

There was no way in hell that she was going to sit there.

She was just going to take her seat at the same empty table.

No way she was going to go groveling to those assholes for acceptance.

Especially after that humiliation this morning.

She could always say she hadn't seen John waving at her.

Or heard him yell "Hey, Terezi! Over here!"

Or- oh fuck on French toast, he was coming over.

"Hey, Terezi! Didn't you hear me call?" Without waiting for an answer he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to the table, sitting her on the end across from Dave.

"You know Dave already" - cold silence from that sector - "and this is Rose" - the blonde girl, nose deeply buried in The Collected Works of H.P. Lovecraft - "and Jade." - who grinned brightly at Terezi.

"Hi, Terezi, nice to meet you!"

"... yeah." God, the awkward was thick enough to taste in the air. She opened her lunchbag and tore into the first thing she grabbed - her PB&J half-sandwich.

"... so! Why'd you move here! What was your old school like! How do you like Skaian so far!" It appeared that Jade spoke only in exclamation points.

"If our conversation yesterday was any clue, Alternian was perfect and this is hell." Dave quipped.

"It's true, Alty was the best. This place will never compare." Terezi sighed dramatically. "Sure, it's a nice little school if you like that sort of thing, but-"

"Oh, for fuck's sake! Two days! You've been here two days! You can't reasonably hate the school until you've been here a month, tops."

"'Reasonably?!' I'll give you 'reasonable' straight up your-"

"Sure, whatever, I'd love to see you try, you-"

"Really, David? You really have to turn this into a thing?" Rose licked her finger to turn the page. "You always pick these fights, and nothing ever comes of it."

Dave ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, 'cause no one'll fight a blind kid. So I reserve my right to turn it into a thing, just for the illusion of some kind of conflict. That fits into your psychological profile of me, right?"

"Indeed it does, tweaked a bit."

"Good to know." He turned to Terezi. "Just you wait, she'll put together some kind of Freudian complex or obsessive fixation or some other bullshit for you. I give it a week before she's mapped out every single one of your neuroses.

Terezi snickered. "Well, I'm not-"

And then her phone rang.

The rest of the table gasped.

"What?"

"Quick, shut it off!" John flailed in panic. "If anyone hears it, it'll get taken away and you'll be in detention for a week!"

"What? That's retarded." She checked - it was Karkat. "Fuck." There was only one reason he'd call her in the middle of the school day.

She looked up at the pale faces around her. "It's an emergency, I have to answer."

"And here comes Scratch!" Jade moaned. "Vice Principal Scratch - he'll take it for sure!"

"Shit shit shit shit shit!"

Rose shut her book with a snap. "Terezi, get under the table. I'll deal with Scratch."

Terezi ducked, wedging herself between several pairs of knees. Rose's stood and disappeared, giving her a little more room and a lot less cover. And the goddamn phone was still ringing.

She answered. "Karkat, what happened?" No time to waste on pleasantries.

"He's gone. I came home from school and he was just gone. Terezi, I can't call the cops again, they'll take him away and put me in foster care, I can't let that happen!" Karkat was rambling, half-yelling, like he always did when he was afraid.

"Karkat, shut the hell up and calm down! I'm at school - if I get caught with my phone I'm fucked!"

"Fuck your phone, this is my fucking dad you bitch!"

"And I'm three thousand miles away!" she hissed. Then sighed, leaning back on someone's knees - Jade's, she thought. "Look, there's nothing I can do from here. Call Tavros, he can probably help find him. Equius too - I know you hate the guy, but if something goes wrong - well, you know. If you do get caught, call my mom - not me, her. I know she'll help with whatever legal shit you might get into. And text me as soon as there's news."

He sighed, a blast of static in her ear. "Thanks, 'Rezi. I know there's not much you can do, I just-"

"-needed to talk before you had a full-blown panic attack. I get it." She hesitated, then - "Kanaya will want to help as soon as she hears, and Vriska might be useful too. Again, huge bitch bluh bluh, but you might need her."

"I'll keep that in mind. Talk to you later."

"Let me know as soon as you can." Click.

John's concerned face appeared under the table. "It's safe, you can come out now."

She took the hand he offered and pulled herself out from under the table.

"I better have been brown-nosing Scratch for a good reason." Rose took her seat and gave Terezi a penetrating look over steepled fingers.

Terezi sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Thanks so much, it really was important."

"What was so important about a phone call?"

She really didn't want to get into this right now, but she owed them. If she blew them off, they could tell Scratch and get her phone taken anyway. "I have this... friend. Sorta. And his dad sometimes... gets into trouble. He got into trouble today, and my friend called asking for help."

"And that's it?" If skeptic looks were money this table would be filthy rich.

"That's it, really. Look, I gotta - I gotta go deal with stuff, okay? I'll see you later." She stuffed her forgotten lunch back into the bag and made her escape.

-----

"So why don't you tell me the whole story." That was Dave, and that was not a question.

"How are you even following me? I don't know if you've noticed, but you're blind," she grumbled, neatly sidestepping the question.

"Really? I thought it was just the middle of the night. But back to your story." Dammit. "I know there was more going down than just normal 'getting in trouble', considering you offered up your mom for legal advice. So what's going on? Really?"

"It's rude to eavesdrop, you know."

"And it's bitchy to avoid the question. Talk." Damn him.

She sighed. "Look, can... can we sit down? Curb, three feet to your left." She took a seat, and he followed, settling their bags in the street in front of them.

And she began. "The first time it happened, I think we were seven or eight...

-----

Me and Karkat lived next door to each other our whole lives. He was - still is - my best friend. We'd hang out at each other's houses, playing or watching movies or whatever.

His dad was always kind of angry. You know, not yelling or screaming, just pissy. All the time. He'd grumble if we were too loud, so we'd usually be at my house. But then one summer he changed. Stopped grumbling, started being real nice to me and Karkat - until that night.

It was really late, and Karkat came to the door. Mom let him in - he had blood all over his shirt and hands. He was scared shitless, kept talking about "Dad, he's hurt, he's all bloody, needs help". Mom had me help him get cleaned up while she called the cops. His dad had tried to kill himself - slit his wrists. With Karkat sleeping in the next room. If he hadn't got up to go pee, then... well, you get it.

I had never seen Karkat like that. He was catatonic - he wouldn't move unless you pulled him, and all he'd talk about was his dad. His eyes... Anyway, it was seriously freaky.

Karkat stayed with us for a few days while his dad was in the hospital. He wasn't allowed to visit, and we didn't see his dad again until a week later. He got called in to court - they were going to put him in a home, and stick Karkat in a foster home.

My mom stood up. She said she'd vouch for his dad, and she'd take care of Karkat if anything happened. Since she's a lawyer, they said okay.

And for a few years, everything was fine. His dad was on medication, he was back to being grumpy, everything was like it had been before. Until it wasn't.

Karkat, his dad, and me were out in the city. We were walking across a bridge, and all of a sudden he got up on the railing like he was about to jump. Just out of nowhere - one minute he was talking, laughing, the next we were trying to pull him back from the edge. Turns out he had run out of medication a few weeks ago, and didn't want to go refill the prescription.

He went back to the hospital, Karkat came back with us. And it was like that for a few years - every once in a while his dad would up and try to hurt himself, and we'd have sleepovers until he was better again. I know it sounds awful, but it was almost easier when his dad was gone. At least we knew where he was, that he was medicated, that he wouldn't be getting into trouble.

And this last year or two, he's been fine. Stayed on his meds - the pharmacy down the street lets Karkat sign for them, even though he's a kid - and he hasn't done anything dumb. And Mom got a really good job offer from a partnership here, and we all agreed that it - that he - was gonna be okay.

-----

"But when Karkat called today, it was because his dad disappeared. Again." Dave sighed. "God, that home life is even more fucked up than mine."

"It's just about as fucked up as possible." Terezi ripped at a few blades of grass growing in a crack of the sidewalk. "So you get why it was kinda important for me to answer that call."

"Yeah, absolutely. And if anything happens to his dad, you and your mom aren't there to take him in."

"Exactly. So now I get to wait for his call and feel like shit for leaving." She hugged her knees to her chest. Dave reached out a hand to touch her shoulder, and she leaned into the touch unconsciously.

"This really sucks."

"Yeah."

A/N

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Oooh, things have taken a turn for the srs, haven't they? This chapter revealed itself to me shortly after I wrote that pesterlog in the last chapter. Honestly, I'm as excited to find out what happens next as you guys!

I had a hell of a time writing all the dialogue in this chapter. BLUH.

Man, I saw chapter 1 over on Dev the other day and thought it was awesome, and this just confirms my suspicions. Geez. Crabdad as suicidal is a very interesting touch. Poor Karkles.

:3 Bridesmaid Deuce? Bridesmaid Deuce. SO ADORABLE.

[Caprisaurus]

sjaklfdhnkasda
Rae I couldn't read the first part of Bright Eyes but the second part I could (for some reason) so now I need to go read the first part!! Well written : D

Also this is slightly derailing but
Which couple would be hilarious to have twins with??
Karkat & Terezi
or
Dave & Jade?
-ttly not getting opinions so she can fit this into a story, noo-

[-Benedict]

Awesome, new thread. If the first page was filled in five hours and four minutes, extrapolating from that we get a MSPA Fanfiction IV that lasts for 20.9 days. If it's a 20.9 days with Bright Eyes, flashfics, AUs, and the rest of the series, we'll have a pretty good first half of January.

[Katrika]

With profound apologies to Lord Byron, who didn't write The Destruction Of Sennacherib so I could REWRITE it.

The Destruction Of Prospit

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The ursurper came down like the wolf on the fold,
And his cohorts were gleaming in purple and gold;
And the sheen of their swords like dancing fireflies
When the gray clouds roll across the dimly lit sky

Like a god of war, mighty but uncontrolled
He killed, effortless, the soldiers clad in gold
They fired their cannon, the air filled with smoke
He cut through the purple-clad pawns with one stroke

And the Angel of Death spread his wings on the blast,
He laughed in the face of the foe as he passed;
And the eyes of the sleeper saw his shadow soar
And her heart then knew fear as she outflew the gore

And there lay her body with glasses askew
The Heir of Breath cries out his grief and his rue
And a shadow then falls across red-painted grass,
Cool composture broken when comes an impasse

And there kneels the Vagabond, trembling and pale
With the guilt on his face as he begins to wail
The tents now in tatters, the banners blood-spattered
His spirit is broken, his dreams have been shattered

And sooner then intended comes the final test
For the ring of the Black Queen, with power possessed
And the staff of the White King, bringer of the end
Were given to Jack, causing him to ascend

[Twigwise]

With profound apologies to Lord Byron, who didn't write The Destruction Of Sennacherib so I could REWRITE it.

The Destruction Of Prospit

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The ursurper came down like the wolf on the fold,
And his cohorts were gleaming in purple and gold;
And the sheen of their swords was like dancing f’reflies
When the gray clouds roll across the dimly lit sky

Like a god of war, mighty but uncontrolled
He killed, effortless, the soldiers clad in gold
They fired their cannon, the air filled with smoke
He cut through the purple-clad pawns with one stroke

And the Angel of Death spread his wings on the blast,
He laughed in the face of the foe as he passed;
And the eyes of the sleeper saw his shadow soar
And her heart then knew fear as she outflew the gore

And there lay her body with glasses askew
The Heir of Breath cries out his grief and his rue
And a shadow then falls across red-painted grass,
Cool composture broken when comes an impasse

And there kneels the Vagabond, trembling and pale
With the guilt on his face as he begins to wail
The tents now in tatters, the banners blood-spattered
His spirit is broken, his dreams have been shattered

And sooner then intended comes the final test
For the ring of the Black Queen, with power possessed
And the staff of the White King, bringer of the end
Were given to Jack, causing him to ascend

:3 I like this far better! Fantastic summary in avery inventive way~~

[crash826]

Ooh, that's really good, Katrika. It's a little evocative of fear, right?

Also, what did people think of my sucky little number?

[Katrika]

Oh man, I meant to comment on that but then I totally forgot!

Vriska causing trouble despite a shock collar cracks me up.

[DJ-P0N3]

Hello new thread.
I love the smell of hot ink in the midnight moon above my head.
Oh yes

Have some fanfic from yours truly.

A birthday to remember

show spoiler

hide spoiler

“Happy Birthday!” his father woke him up with this cheerful statement, John woke up, his hair was a mess and his vision was blurred from not only bad eyesight but also the grogginess of just waking up. He wiped his eyes and sneered, he knew quite well today was not his birthday. He reached for his glasses and dropped them accidentally.

“Dad could you..?” He asked politely.

His father simply nodded and knelt down, grabbing the glasses and handing them to John. He slid the glasses back on and grinned as he could see the smug look on his dad’s face.

John smiled with glee as he slipped his glasses on and peered at the also grinning face of his father, hopping up out of bed, “Let me get dressed and I’ll be right down, okay dad?”

His father nods, both of them were very excited about today. A birthday only happens once a year, and after Sburb, they were closer than ever. John walked over to his closet and undressed casually, he put on his green ghost shirt and a pair of blue jeans, ignoring socks. He checks pesterchum quickly to see who all might be online, looks like it is too early in the day, he and his father do have a fun filled day planned ahead of them! He frolics down the stairs and spies a large, wrapped present in the center of the living room. The wrapping paper is colorful, the bow bright. It is a beautiful present.

His father sat on the sofa comfortably, smoking a pipe and tipping his hat to John as if to make the notion, ‘Why yes, you may open it like a silly school girl’. John, nodding at this tipping, begins to tear the wrapping paper off and saw the bare cardboard box. Pulling out a trusty simple household hammer, no need to go batshit insane here, he broke the box open and finally saw his gift. It was a harlequin doll similar to the one he received at the beginning of Sburb.

“Dad, this is…uhm..” John was not sure how to put it.

“Yes?”

“It’s a really neat gift! It brings back a lot of memories, the good ones, with nanasprite…” He smiles and wipes a small tear out of his eye, “Thanks so much…” He hugs his father yet again.

“Oh don’t be like that, you’re my son. You are strong now, you don’t need to act so childish.” He has a smug smile upon his face, “Now how about some cake?”

Normally John detests cake, in fact, he still hates cake. Although this day is a special case, a special occasion. So it is a day like this that he goes by a new code, the rule of cake-hatery must be broken if not only for the gratification and happiness of his father, who admittedly, was a good cook. So he sat down at the table and sat patiently to blow out the candles.

Reeling his head back he takes a deep breath, the candle reads 14. His father smiles, “Make a wish son.”

John blows out the candles with a single strong breath, he wishes quietly that this day could last forever. John enjoyed his birthdays more than any other, except perhaps the birthday when Sburb all started, that day was truly hectic.

Cutting the slice of cake, his father hands him it on a plate. Promptly and impolitely asking, “What did you wish for?”

John laughs and shakes his head, “You know the rules, if I tell you it won’t happen!”

They share a quick laugh with one another. Heading into the living room they sit down next to each other and turn on one of John’s favorite bad movies, Ghost Dad. Laughs are had and shared through the day, various games are played and pranks are pulled on one another. As the sun begins to set, John yawns, “This has been great..really..its been one of the best days eve-“ John finds himself interrupted by the phone ringing rather loudly.

“I’ll be going to bed dad, see you tomorrow.” John rushes upstairs and hops onto pesterchum, after a day of not speaking to his friends, he wonders what all is up with them. Curiously he finds none of them to be online. “Dang…” He shrugs and slinks off to bed.

His father remains on the phone, receiving some rather complex news. Though it is none of John’s business, its probably a personal call anyway.

John drifted off to sleep and had a good night’s rest. That night he had a rather simple dream, nothing out of the ordinary. He simply gained a good night’s sleep. However the next morning he found himself waking up to a familiar face, “Happy Birthday!” His father proclaimed happily. John had a blank stare on his face, “Huh?” John wasn’t sure how to react, he grabbed his glasses, and as before they fell.

“Dad…Could you..?” It wasn’t, could it be?

His father picks up his glasses and hands them to him. John slides them on, he is a little weirded out, did he just have a dream of his Birthday, perhaps Déjà vu is simply behind this. John told his father he would be downstairs in a moment to open his presents and have the cake as is a traditional birthday celebration.

He goes on pesterchum to see if his friends are online, as it is, only Rose is online. Right as John prepares to message her she sends some text herself. The conversation lifts John’s mood, its truly nice to see Rose being so silly and optimistic again. John goes and gets dressed, just like before, and he spots it in the corner of his eye.

The harlequin his father had bought him from before.

John shook his head, there was a reason that Dad would claim it to be John’s birthday twice in a row. There must have been some jokester prank behind all this, not too sure what though.

When John arrived into the living room he saw a large present yet again, as he had the day before. Just like yesterday he unwrapped it, and broke it open. Sure enough, there was the same harlequin doll. Followed by going to the kitchen, where his father presents him a fresh cake. The candles read Fourteen, just as before.

John takes in a deep breath and blows out the candles, he isn’t sure what to wish for, it seems like his wish the other day came true. Admittedly today was enjoyable for him, he could not help but feel rather strange at the occurrence.

“What did you wish for?” His father asks once more.

John thinks for a moment, “I couldn’t think of anything to wish for actually.” He chuckles a bit, “Seems like I have everything I need really.”

His father smiles at him, then John snaps for a moment, “Waaaait…is this why you did this? Did you repeat my birthday just so you could find out my wish?”

“Repeat your birthday?”

“Its clever Dad, but no dice! I’m going to go relax and go to sleep, okay?”

His father nods, a little confused by what he meant, ‘repeat his birthday’ was a phrase that makes little sense no matter what side you are on. Regardless, he shrugged and sat down in the living room, proceeding to watch the movie Ghost Dad.

John, back in his room, unsure of exactly what today was, tosses the doll at the other. The Harlequins clash and fall down. He hops on pesterchum and notices how Dave is on, he messages him hoping Dave might have an idea of whether or not this is a prank.

Show pesterlog

show spoiler

hide spoiler

- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 4:13 pm –
EB: hey dave.
TG: sup
EB: I think my dad is pulling a prank on me.
EB: like, a big one too.
TG: aight what is it
EB: he pretended today was my birthday when it was yesterday
TG: oh yeah did you get my present
EB: not yet
TG: mustve mailed too late
TG: fuck
EB: what is it?
TG: be patient thats what
EB: alright, but what should I do about this prank?
TG: are you really outpranked by this
TG: just play the fuck along dumpass
TG: you can beat him
EB: I am the prankmaster general!
TG: the what
EB: sorry, trying new titles.
TG: just stick to the classics
EB: okay, thanks dave.
TG: see ya
EB: bye!
- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 4:20 pm –

John went to bed that night with the intent of combating his father’s bizarre prank the best way possible, by playing along and outlasting him! That night he had a strange dream, mainly of pies whapping him senselessly in the face. it was a reoccurring dream John had every so often.

“Happy Birthday!” His father woke him up once again as the day before, and for the following days John proceeded to play along. Opening the gifts, eating the cake, and watching the movies with his father. It was a battle he did not feel he should lose, but at the same time he was losing track of days, and was worried perhaps things had gone too far. On the sixth night of his birthday he decided he had had enough. He would end it tomorrow. He would tell his father what he had wished for and how it was about time they got back to real life.

“Happy Birth-“ John slaps his father across the face before he can finish the sentence and proceeds to spray shaving cream on him to make sure his father shuts the hell up.

“Sorry Dad, but this prank has gone on way too long!” John shouts.

“Prank?” His father asks, a little surprised by the sudden outburst.

“Yes Dad, I know the prank!” He begins to plead, “Just stop it, I give up! I will tell you what I wished for!”

“Prank…? You haven’t blown out the candles yet…you couldn’t have made a wish…” His father seems genuinely confused.

“Dad…” John’s eyes grow small, his face grows grim. “What day is it?”

“April…April 13th…your birthday.”

John drops the shaving cream and grabs his father by the collar, dragging him to John’s closet, which conceals within it a large pile of harlequin dolls, each one is identical in every way, right down to color and size. His father merely stares, astonished.

“Dad…it’s April 20th…Its been a week…”

His father looks at the ground, he can’t speak.

“Dad…what happened?”

“Son..I…..” He begins to weep, the tears flow, he remembers now.

On the first birthday, John’s real birthday, Mr. Egbert received a phone call. This phone call was personal, it informed him of very sad news. The death of Ms. Lalonde upon the operating table. At the time, Dad could not think of how to respond, they had survived through Sburb and back, yet this is what does her in? He hung up the phone and shook his head, “No….” This wasn’t real, it couldn’t have been, but now he could not deny it.

She had died, and he had to move on. John hugs him tightly, “its okay dad….I….this is my fault…..” John begins to cry as well, he bites his lower lip, “I wished that day would last forever….and I got just that…” He sobs, “I’m…so sorry…”

[Ganato]

Guho!

Emotional gut punch.

I did NOT expect that ending.

[Bratmon]

Hello new thread.
I love the smell of hot ink in the midnight moon above my head.
Oh yes

Have some fanfic from yours truly.

A birthday to remember

show spoiler

hide spoiler

“Happy Birthday!” his father woke him up with this cheerful statement, John woke up, his hair was a mess and his vision was blurred from not only bad eyesight but also the grogginess of just waking up. He wiped his eyes and sneered, he knew quite well today was not his birthday. He reached for his glasses and dropped them accidentally.

“Dad could you..?” He asked politely.

His father simply nodded and knelt down, grabbing the glasses and handing them to John. He slid the glasses back on and grinned as he could see the smug look on his dad’s face.

John smiled with glee as he slipped his glasses on and peered at the also grinning face of his father, hopping up out of bed, “Let me get dressed and I’ll be right down, okay dad?”

His father nods, both of them were very excited about today. A birthday only happens once a year, and after Sburb, they were closer than ever. John walked over to his closet and undressed casually, he put on his green ghost shirt and a pair of blue jeans, ignoring socks. He checks pesterchum quickly to see who all might be online, looks like it is too early in the day, he and his father do have a fun filled day planned ahead of them! He frolics down the stairs and spies a large, wrapped present in the center of the living room. The wrapping paper is colorful, the bow bright. It is a beautiful present.

His father sat on the sofa comfortably, smoking a pipe and tipping his hat to John as if to make the notion, ‘Why yes, you may open it like a silly school girl’. John, nodding at this tipping, begins to tear the wrapping paper off and saw the bare cardboard box. Pulling out a trusty simple household hammer, no need to go batshit insane here, he broke the box open and finally saw his gift. It was a harlequin doll similar to the one he received at the beginning of Sburb.

“Dad, this is…uhm..” John was not sure how to put it.

“Yes?”

“It’s a really neat gift! It brings back a lot of memories, the good ones, with nanasprite…” He smiles and wipes a small tear out of his eye, “Thanks so much…” He hugs his father yet again.

“Oh don’t be like that, you’re my son. You are strong now, you don’t need to act so childish.” He has a smug smile upon his face, “Now how about some cake?”

Normally John detests cake, in fact, he still hates cake. Although this day is a special case, a special occasion. So it is a day like this that he goes by a new code, the rule of cake-hatery must be broken if not only for the gratification and happiness of his father, who admittedly, was a good cook. So he sat down at the table and sat patiently to blow out the candles.

Reeling his head back he takes a deep breath, the candle reads 14. His father smiles, “Make a wish son.”

John blows out the candles with a single strong breath, he wishes quietly that this day could last forever. John enjoyed his birthdays more than any other, except perhaps the birthday when Sburb all started, that day was truly hectic.

Cutting the slice of cake, his father hands him it on a plate. Promptly and impolitely asking, “What did you wish for?”

John laughs and shakes his head, “You know the rules, if I tell you it won’t happen!”

They share a quick laugh with one another. Heading into the living room they sit down next to each other and turn on one of John’s favorite bad movies, Ghost Dad. Laughs are had and shared through the day, various games are played and pranks are pulled on one another. As the sun begins to set, John yawns, “This has been great..really..its been one of the best days eve-“ John finds himself interrupted by the phone ringing rather loudly.

“I’ll be going to bed dad, see you tomorrow.” John rushes upstairs and hops onto pesterchum, after a day of not speaking to his friends, he wonders what all is up with them. Curiously he finds none of them to be online. “Dang…” He shrugs and slinks off to bed.

His father remains on the phone, receiving some rather complex news. Though it is none of John’s business, its probably a personal call anyway.

John drifted off to sleep and had a good night’s rest. That night he had a rather simple dream, nothing out of the ordinary. He simply gained a good night’s sleep. However the next morning he found himself waking up to a familiar face, “Happy Birthday!” His father proclaimed happily. John had a blank stare on his face, “Huh?” John wasn’t sure how to react, he grabbed his glasses, and as before they fell.

“Dad…Could you..?” It wasn’t, could it be?

His father picks up his glasses and hands them to him. John slides them on, he is a little weirded out, did he just have a dream of his Birthday, perhaps Déjà vu is simply behind this. John told his father he would be downstairs in a moment to open his presents and have the cake as is a traditional birthday celebration.

He goes on pesterchum to see if his friends are online, as it is, only Rose is online. Right as John prepares to message her she sends some text herself. The conversation lifts John’s mood, its truly nice to see Rose being so silly and optimistic again. John goes and gets dressed, just like before, and he spots it in the corner of his eye.

The harlequin his father had bought him from before.

John shook his head, there was a reason that Dad would claim it to be John’s birthday twice in a row. There must have been some jokester prank behind all this, not too sure what though.

When John arrived into the living room he saw a large present yet again, as he had the day before. Just like yesterday he unwrapped it, and broke it open. Sure enough, there was the same harlequin doll. Followed by going to the kitchen, where his father presents him a fresh cake. The candles read Fourteen, just as before.

John takes in a deep breath and blows out the candles, he isn’t sure what to wish for, it seems like his wish the other day came true. Admittedly today was enjoyable for him, he could not help but feel rather strange at the occurrence.

“What did you wish for?” His father asks once more.

John thinks for a moment, “I couldn’t think of anything to wish for actually.” He chuckles a bit, “Seems like I have everything I need really.”

His father smiles at him, then John snaps for a moment, “Waaaait…is this why you did this? Did you repeat my birthday just so you could find out my wish?”

“Repeat your birthday?”

“Its clever Dad, but no dice! I’m going to go relax and go to sleep, okay?”

His father nods, a little confused by what he meant, ‘repeat his birthday’ was a phrase that makes little sense no matter what side you are on. Regardless, he shrugged and sat down in the living room, proceeding to watch the movie Ghost Dad.

John, back in his room, unsure of exactly what today was, tosses the doll at the other. The Harlequins clash and fall down. He hops on pesterchum and notices how Dave is on, he messages him hoping Dave might have an idea of whether or not this is a prank.

Show pesterlog

show spoiler

hide spoiler

- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 4:13 pm –
EB: hey dave.
TG: sup
EB: I think my dad is pulling a prank on me.
EB: like, a big one too.
TG: aight what is it
EB: he pretended today was my birthday when it was yesterday
TG: oh yeah did you get my present
EB: not yet
TG: mustve mailed too late
TG: fuck
EB: what is it?
TG: be patient thats what
EB: alright, but what should I do about this prank?
TG: are you really outpranked by this
TG: just play the fuck along dumpass
TG: you can beat him
EB: I am the prankmaster general!
TG: the what
EB: sorry, trying new titles.
TG: just stick to the classics
EB: okay, thanks dave.
TG: see ya
EB: bye!
- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 4:20 pm –

John went to bed that night with the intent of combating his father’s bizarre prank the best way possible, by playing along and outlasting him! That night he had a strange dream, mainly of pies whapping him senselessly in the face. it was a reoccurring dream John had every so often.

“Happy Birthday!” His father woke him up once again as the day before, and for the following days John proceeded to play along. Opening the gifts, eating the cake, and watching the movies with his father. It was a battle he did not feel he should lose, but at the same time he was losing track of days, and was worried perhaps things had gone too far. On the sixth night of his birthday he decided he had had enough. He would end it tomorrow. He would tell his father what he had wished for and how it was about time they got back to real life.

“Happy Birth-“ John slaps his father across the face before he can finish the sentence and proceeds to spray shaving cream on him to make sure his father shuts the hell up.

“Sorry Dad, but this prank has gone on way too long!” John shouts.

“Prank?” His father asks, a little surprised by the sudden outburst.

“Yes Dad, I know the prank!” He begins to plead, “Just stop it, I give up! I will tell you what I wished for!”

“Prank…? You haven’t blown out the candles yet…you couldn’t have made a wish…” His father seems genuinely confused.

“Dad…” John’s eyes grow small, his face grows grim. “What day is it?”

“April…April 13th…your birthday.”

John drops the shaving cream and grabs his father by the collar, dragging him to John’s closet, which conceals within it a large pile of harlequin dolls, each one is identical in every way, right down to color and size. His father merely stares, astonished.

“Dad…it’s April 20th…Its been a week…”

His father looks at the ground, he can’t speak.

“Dad…what happened?”

“Son..I…..” He begins to weep, the tears flow, he remembers now.

On the first birthday, John’s real birthday Mr. Egbert received a phone call. This phone call was personal, it informed him of very sad news. The death of Ms. Lalonde upon the operating table. At the time, Dad could not think of how to respond, they had survived through Sburb and back, yet this is what does her in? He hung up the phone and shook his head, “No….” This wasn’t real, it couldn’t have been, but now he could not deny it.

She had died, and he had to move on. John hugs him tightly, “its okay dad….I….this is my fault…..” John begins to cry as well, he bites his lower lip, “I wished that day would last forever….and I got just that…” He sobs, “I’m…so sorry…”

Come on, man! You gotta warn us before you do something like that.

[DJ-P0N3]

Oh hey guys, I think I found my calling card and perfect nitch.
Twist endings.

[Wigmund]

A Storybook Story
Part 2 (Part 1 linked in signature below)

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"The foul thing's jaws prepare to clamp down upon its prey and then-"

Karkat stops reading and glances at his daughter. She had bundled herself so that the only thing he could see were her glowing green and yellow eyes and the Crawdad doll he had given her a couple of years ago.

"She doesn't get eaten."
The eyes look up at him. Kade unbundles herself and looks sheepishly up at her father.
"Huh?"
"The Fefs don't get her. You just look a little frightened is all."
"I wasn't frightened..."
Karkat cocks one of his bushy eyebrows at her.
"...I was just a little concerned.
That's not the same thing! It isn't Daddy!"
"I can stop reading if you are getting work up."
"NO...I mean...no, don't stop. Keep reading daddy."

Kade wraps herself up again and Karkat begins reading again.

"Let's see, where were we..."
================================================== ===

"Those are the Shrieking Fefs."

================================================== ===

"We're past that.
You read that already."
"Well I did. I'm sorry.
Can you forgive me?"
Kade gives her father a smile as he flips forward a page or two and starts skimming to find where he had left off.
"Let's see...
She's in the water, the Fef, Vriskini being a huge bitch, Butterjade is frightened, the Fef is charging, and then-"

================================================== ===

Butterjade stares in the gaping toothy jaws of the Screaming Fef as it charges down on her. Just as it is about to clamp down on her...

Then she is shocked as a boat oar suddenly slams on the thing's head knocking it away from her. Tavrik then reaches into the water, lifting her up into the boat before unceremoniously plopping her on the decking with the other two bandits standing over her.

Vriskini rolled Butterjade over and tied her hands together while Egberto pointed to the ship chasing them.
"Our fishermen are getting closer."
"Th8t doesn't m8er! Keep sailing you dolt!"
Vriskini rolled the princess back over again and glared at her.
"You think you're just soooooooo 8rave, don't you?"
Butterjade just returned the glare at the angry short woman.
"Only when compared to some here."

The following morning the black ship has nearly reached the little ship, the only soul aboard it is a man clad in black and his skill with his boat is nothing short of amazing.

"Look at that! He's right on top of us. Is he using the same wind we are?"
"It's too l8 for him! Look!"
Egberto and Tavrik follow Vriskini's arm to look at the looming, impossibly high and sheer cliffs.
"8ehold the Cliffs of Insanity!"

Egberto steers the small vessel up to the cliffs with the black ship right on their heels, but it had too great a lead to overcome. As they approach the base of the cliffs, Tavrik reaches out of the boat and grabs a great thick rope that was hidden against the cliffs.

A rope, that when he gives it a quick shake, reaches the very tops of the Cliffs.

Egberto readies several harnesses, one of himself at Tavrik's back and two on Tavrik's horns for Vriskini and their hostage. Once they are all strapped in, Tavrik grabs the rope and quickly clambers up the rope.

The Black Vigilante watches the giant rise up the rope in the morning light before he leaps from his ship onto the rope and starts to follow them up.

The two thieves not busy with climbing glance down to watch the dashing black-clad rogue following them impossibly fast.
"Well, now he's climbing after us.
Wow. He's fast."
"Inconceiva8le!

Vriskini kicks Tavrik in his side, prompting him to climb faster. But still their pursuer gains on them.

"F8ster you fucking fool!"
"uh, I thought I was."
"You were supposed to 8e soooooooo awesome Taaaaaaaavrik! You were this gr8 8oy with amazing upper 8ody strength!"
Vriskini grabs Tavrik's ear to get a better position to shriek at him from and also to steady herself as she points down in fury at the Black Vigilante.
"Yet th8t 8astard closes in on us!!!!!!!!"
"But...I'm carrying three people and the load on my head is very uneven..."
"Fuck your excuses! I just h8ve to find a new 8rute!"
"Please don't say that. That hurts my confidence."
"Fuck your confidence!"

They continue to climb, the pursuer closing in all the time. He is within a hundred of so feet of the rogues.

"Did I not just m8ke it clear th8t your job is 8t risk!?"

They reach the top and Tavrik rolls himself up onto the clifftop amongst some ruins that occupy the top of the Cliffs of Insanity. Vriskini quickly pulls herself out of her harness, pulls a knife and starts to cut the thick rope. Egberto pulls himself and Butterjade out of their harnesses and he helps Tavrik to his metal feet.

He glances over the edge of the cliffs to see the rogue just dozens of yards below them. The mystery man is closing in.

Vriskini gives a horrible laugh as she finishes cutting the rope, which whips out over the cliffs and falls to the sea far, far below.

She joins Egberto, Tavrik and the bound Butterjade by the cliff's edge only to look down and see the man now clinging to the cliff face, still trying to climb up after them.
"um, He's good."
"Wh8t! He didn't f8ll!?
Inconceiva8le!"
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

They look down at the man who is cautiously clambering up the loose, jagged rocks making up the cliff's face.

"Damn. He's good."
Vriskini glares at her cohorts then back down at the damned pest.
"Whoever he is, he's seen the Princess. He has to die.
Tavrik - you carry our guest.
Eg8erto - we are heading for the frontier. Catch up once th8t 8astard is dead. If he falls, gr8. If not, you know wh8t to do."
Egberto nods, still watching their pursuer.

"I shall fight him one-handed."
"Huh? Do you know how l8 we are?!"
"It's the only way I'll feel satisfied. If I fight him any other way...
It will just be too quick."
Vriskini rolls her eyes at Egberto as she heads back with Tavrik and Princess Butterjade.
"Wh8tever!"
Tavrik, carrying the Princess, turns to his good friend.
"uh, Be careful!"
"Oh godd8mmit! I'm w8ing!
They run off into the countryside.

Egberto paces along the clifftop, he pulls out an impressive looking hammer and begins to take practice swings. He is obviously an amazing fighter, but he's seems to not be a person who likes to wait around.

He glances back over the edge to see how far the man in black has made it up the cliff. Not very far at all. He cups his hands to his mouth and hollers down at his foe,
"Hi there."
The Black Vigilante glances up and grunts.
"Slow going?"
"ISN'T THAT FUCKING OBVIOUS YOU SHITNUGGET?
NOW IF YOU EXCUSE ME, I'M KINDA BUSY DOWN HERE AND I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU WOULDN'T DISTRACT ME."
"Oh, sorry."

Egberto steps back and swings his hammer a couple of times more. He stops and glances back at the cliff's edge. He puts his hammer away and glances back over it.

"I don't suppose you could hurry up?"
"OH FUCK, I'M SORRY I'M KEEPING YOU WAITING MY DEAR. IF YOU ARE IN SUCH A DAMNED HURRY, YOU COULD LOWER SOMETHING USEFUL FOR ME LIKE A ROPE OR TREE BRANCH."
"I could, there's a bunch of rope up here. But I doubt you'll let me help you since I'm just waiting up here to kill you."
"OH FUCK, THAT'S A CRYING SHAME."
Egberto watches the Black Vigilante clamber up a bit higher.
"But I promise not to kill you until you get up here."
"LOVELY. FUCK OFF."
"Oh come on. I hate waiting.
I could give you my word as an Heir."
"FUCKING HEIRS."
Egberto sighs as he watches the pursuer cling to the cliff face.
"You can't think of any way that I can gain your trust?"
"ONCE AGAIN, FUCK OFF ASSHOLE."
Egberto glares down at the man in black and raises both his right hand and his voice.
"I, John Egberto, swear upon the soul of my true love, Rose of Londe, that you will reach the top alive."
The vigilante sighs and glances up at the serious man looking down at him.
"Throw me some of that rope then."

John bounds over to rock and retrieves several lengths of rope, he tosses it over the cliff into the grip of the black-clad man who quickly clambers up to the top of the cliffs.

"I guess I owe you my thanks."
"I'll let you ready yourself."
"Well, thank you again."

The man sits down upon an available boulder and removes his leather boots only to be surprised by several large rocks falling out of them. The mysterious pursuer is clad completely in black. Black boots, black pants, black shirt, black mask, black head scarf and black gloves. John stares at him intently.

"I'm sorry to pester you, but you don't happen to have a douchey splotch of purple hair just above your forehead?"

The man in black looks up at John, baffled.

"Well isn't that an interesting way to start a conversation."

"I'm sorry, it's just that my true love was murdered by a man with a douchey purple patch of hair."
John walks up to the man and pulls out his hammer to show it to him. A sad smile upon his face.
"She was a great wandmaker, my love. And when the purple-haired man appeared and requested a special wand, she took the job. She worked for almost a year on that wand."

The man in black wonders why John had handed him his hammer for inspection then he noticed the handle. It was a beautiful ivory wand that had been fitted there. The wand and the hammer itself were of beautiful, stunning make.

"Amazing. I have never seen its equal."

John retrieves his hammer from the man and looks at it with obvious sorrow in his eyes.
"The purple-haired man returned and demanded the wand, but at one-twelfth his promised price. Rose refused and without a word the purple-haired man blasted her through the heart. I loved her, so, naturally, I challeneged the murderer to a duel..."
John glanced over at man, righteous fury in his eyes.
"...and I failed..."
John then shows off a pair of scars on each of his cheeks, terrible burns.
"And the purple-haired man left me alive with these."

"How long ago did this happen?"
"It was six years ago. Once I had healed up from that fight, I started to strengthen myself for another fight with my love's murderer. I had the wand the man had commissioned fitted into my favorite hammer so that one day, when I meet the purple-haired man, I can walk up to him with that in my hand and say,

"Hello, my name is John Egberto.
You killed my lover. Prepare to die."

"And you've done nothing since then except practice fighting with that hammer?"
"Well, not really, I've been searching for the man for years now and I still have not found him. I have all but lost hope that I will avenge my love. I just work with Vriskini to pay the bills. There's not a whole lot of money in vengeance."

The man in black rises and pulls his own weapon out.
"Well, I hope that one day you find that bastard."
"I take it you're ready?"
"Doesn't matter, you've been too kind to me."
"Such a shame, you seem to be such a wonderful person. I hate that I'm going to kill you."
The man in black retrieves his weapon, a plain looking sickle.
"Well, I would hate to die."
"Well then, let's rock!"

And with that an epic duel begins. But this isn't one of those damned fake movie fights, this is a real fight as they stand just within reach of each other, barely feinting and parrying each others swings.

The two circle each other in the dirt. Their weapons cross again and again. Hammer against sickle. John presses forward, the Vigilante moving back up a rocky incline.

"You're using the Wayward Vigilance against me?"
"Naturally, considering the terrain-"
"So...you must expect me to unleash the Armsmaster's Rage right now?"

John shifts his style now. The Vigilante copes as best as he can before he shifts styles himself.

"Of course, but I find that Diamonds cancels out AR, don't you?"

The Vigilante now finds himself backed up against the edge to the ruins, with no where to go, he jumps down to the sand.

John smiles at him.

"Unless the enemy has studied his Spades-"
He then leaps over the man in black, somersaulting to land facing his opponent.
-which I have."

The two are fly across the rocky terrain, never losing balance, never stumbling. The battle is one of incredible finesse despite one of the fighters using such a brutal weapon in the hammer. It's clear that this is a battle for the legends.

John now finds himself being backed up to the cliff's edge. He tries to gain advantage against the vigilante only to find himself being forced back, closer and closer to death. He couldn't be happier.

"This is wonderful!
Though I have to admit that you are better than I am."
"Then why are you smiling?"
"Because I know something you don't know."
"What?"

"I can dual-wield."

And as if by magic, a second hammer, almost as majestic as the first, appears in John's other hand. Immediately, the tide of battle turns against the Vigilante.

The man in black is stunned as now he is being pushed back under the brutal barrage unleashed by John's two hammers. He backs up a rocky staircase and keeps trying to regain the upper hand. He throws everything he knows against the hammer-wielder. But it is all for nothing.

"You're good."
"I should be. I gained all the levels over those six years."

John then pins his foe up against a rock pillar with one hammer and readies to deliver the final blow with the other. The man in black smiles at him.

"There's something I must tell you as well."
"What's that?"

"I can dual-wield as well."

In the man's other hand, a truly majestic sickle appears. Almost as majestic as John's main hammer.

And to John's amazement, the tide has turned once again as he falls back under the fury unleashed by the mysterious stranger. There is nothing he can do to regain the upper hand and he finds himself backing up over the rocky terrain once again.

And then the hammers, one by one are knocked from his hands. John Egberto, master hammer fighter, realizes this is it. He drops to his knees and shuts his eyes.
"Make it quick."
"I would sooner destroy a stained glass window as an artist like yourself. However, I can't have you following me."
The man in black steps up and bashes John in the head with the hilt of his sickle, knocking him unconscious.
"You have my respect."
The man puts away his sickles and heads off after the Princess.


"Inconceiva8le!"
Vriskini and Tavrik, who is carrying Butterjade over his shoulder stand on a mountain path, looking down to see the Black Vigilante behind them.
"Quick, give me the 8itch.
Catch up with us when you can."
Tavrik looks at his boss in a near panic.
"uhhhh..."
Vriskini sighs and rubs her eyes.
"Finish him. Your way."
"um, What's my way?"
"You gra8 of those rocks over there. You hide 8ehind that 8oulder. And when the 8astard chasing us shows up - you 8ash his head in with th8t rock!"
Tavrik looks over at the rocks and boulders as Vriskini runs off with Butterjade. He frowns as he picks up an impossibly large rock.
"uh, My way is not very sportsmanlike."

A/N:

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Cutting off there, because goddamn that went on for longer than I had expected.

Well, this series is going to have more parts than I expected, but that just means there is so much more for you all to read.

Tomorrow we shall get to see the Black Vigilante take on Tavrik the Giant and Vriskini the Criminal Mastermind.

[amnesiaDinosaur]

I love this. .

[Katrika]

Wigmund, amazing.

[AppleTree]

Ohhh, that new thread smell.

Let's celebrate it with a fic beginning I just wrote!

The Knight and the Witch

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Dave's not drunk. He's just tipsy enough to forget.

It's almost quarter past four in the morning, and Dave is sitting in a smoky bar, nursing his second drink of the night. It's been four years since they left the Incipisphere; four years of trying to forget, trying to make their lives seem normal again. They all kept the contents of their sylladexes, outfits and weapons and all the other myriad items they collected over their time in the Medium. They all took a small part of their titles with them, too - Dave may no longer be able to twist and warp the timeline, but he'll never need to wear a watch again and his sense of rythm is perfect. It's almost unnerving, the feeling of wondering a fairly normal question and answering down to the second.

He glances around the bar and feels again that tight knot of anxiety that will never go away. He's lived with it for too long already. Absentmindedly he examines the faces of the bar's patrons, all drunk out of their minds and having lost any semblance of self-control. Dave can count no less than twelve girls draping themselves across their unfortunate victims, in varying states of dress. Most of them aren't exactly bad-looking, either, but he knows he would regret it later.

One of the women comes up to him - a girl, really, she's under-age and her breath stinks of beer - and flashes her teeth at him. She burbles something that is either an insult or a poorly-articulated pickup line, and he wrinkles his nose and pushes her away. The girl walks away huffily, mumbling something and finding another man to attempt to entice. Dave pushes his shades up - they're still the iShades, but it's not as obvious when he's using them now - and rubs at the bridge of his nose wearily.

There's a commotion near the door. He glances up and sees a girl with black hair that falls somewhere around her waist (possibly her hips), glasses that seem a little to large for her, and the most drop-dead gorgeous figure he's ever seen, with a dress to match. It's dark blue and strapless, turning green at the edges. He can see stars in the fabric, tiny white dots that glimmer as the girl moves. His mind puts two and two together, gets four, and then it feels like it punches him in the gut. It's Jade.

Four years has changed how she looks, but only slightly. She's still the tan-skinned, slightly freckled girl he knew, but she's definitely grown up. She looks scared, pressed up against the wall and trapped by some dickhead in baggy jeans and an obnoxious hairdo. She's shaking her head and trying to step away, but he doesn't seem to be relenting. The sight of it makes Dave fume, and he drains his drink and walks towards them.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he growls as he nears them.
Eighteen years old in dark shades and a black suit, Dave makes for quite the imposing figure. The guy turns round and Dave makes the calmest face he can. There's the slightest downturn to his mouth, the only sign of anger he shows. His palm burns for Caledscratch's hilt, but pulling that out would be a bit too much of a scene, even for him.
"Just checkin' the scenery, bro. Gotta appreciate some fine ass 'n tits when they come along, don'tcha?" the guys says with a shit-eating grin. "I mean, look at dem bea--"

He's cut off his a fist to the face. Dave breathes evenly and pulls his bloodied fist back for another strike. It looks like he knocked out a few of the guy's teeth and split his lip with one punch.

The guy pulls and knife and flashes him a bloody grin.

More please?

[AppleTree]

I would just like to say that I am in love with this entire thread. SO MANY good fics. You all are amazing!
Now, back to lurking. =)

[QuetzaDrake]

Late @Rae

Crabdad noooooo

This AU and story is still awesome as heck.

[Domoz]

Erm. Crosposting from the cop thread again e_e;;

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Everything was ready. Tonight was finally the night they caught Lejion. The best of the best were already waiting in the warehouse for this bust to go down.

Minutes ticked by, then hours.
“what the fuck ii2 takiing them 2o long?”
Terezi slapped her hand over Sollux's mouth.
“HUSH”

Because right at that moment the door on the far end of the warehouse opened. Pyrope, Captor, and every other cop in the place did their best to further conceal themselves as Equuis strode through the doors; making a beeline for the center of the floor.

He had stood there for only a few seconds, when across the floor a certain cat girl pulled herself up to the top of a box.

”::3 < yay, equius, you came!”

The chief of police just nodded. Terezi could smell the sweat even from her claustrophobic hiding spot.

”::3 < okay well, the reason you're here is purrty simple. I'll let all of the kitties go if you come with me!”
”D--->Nepeta, if this is about being morails, we can't anymore! You're simply to out of contro-”
”XXO < nooo, that's not what this is about at all! I just want to keep you from hurting my friends!”
Equuis shook his head
”D--->Regardless, I can't come with you. I wouldn't have to hurt you or your friends if only you would straighten out”
The thief gave a huffy sigh.
”>>3 < I was hoping you wouldn't say that, so how about I sweeten the deal? Gamzee, bring out the guy!”

”hey,no need to be so rough”
From behind a box stepped a tall,lanky troll with face paint on. He had a familiar looking detective held in a wrestling style grip.

It was silent for quite a while. Were the tensions not so high, both Sollux and Terezi would have their faces in their hands. As it were, they were straining to hear the cat thief's next words.
”>>3 < H33h33! I found this guy snooping around in here, so a caught him! By the look on your face I'd say you know him! So now I'll let him and the kitties go, if you'll just come with me!”

For a moment there was only the sound of dripping as Equuis continued to sweat, then came.
”D--->But Nepeta, what about my friends?”

That was the signal. Every cop sprang out of their hiding place and circled around the center floor.

”XXO < noooo, I said no funny business! And there are so many of you!”

Nepeta looked around nervously at all the cops below her. She had expected a few, but not the whole precinct!

She wailed first, ”XXO < Karkitttyyyy! We've got to run”
Then she looked down and Gamzee and sputtered out ”XXO< hurry and do the thing with the magic dust!”

Before any of the cops could so much as raise their guns, the clown-troll used his free hand to reach into his pocket and pull out a fistful of sparkling blue powder. Nepeta jumped to the ground as he threw it to the floor. Almost immediately the room was filled with blue smoke and noise.

”my sens0rs are unable t0 detect-”
”2hiit! Ii thiink they're gettiing away!”
”take that you fuckin vvillain!”
”wHoA, wHoA, hOlD uP mOtHeRfuCkEr”
”XX(< there's no time, Gamz33, just leave him!”
”FUCK, 1 C4NT SM3LL 4NYTH1NG!”
”god, it's my my eyes, it's in my eyessssssss!”
”D--->Everyone just stay calm!”

After a few minutes and much hand waving the smoke dissipated. The criminals were gone, to no one's surprise, and there was one very disgruntled looking Eridan on the floor.

Equuis sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
”D--->Detective, I'll be seeing you in my office when we get back”





The car ride back was very tense. Terezi was grumbling and facing towards the window. Sollux looked to be very intent on driving. Then Sollux sighed.
”are you up2et that we diidn't get the cat2 back?”
Terezi glanced and Sollux before returning to her windowed post.
”COM3 ON SOLLUX, YOU KNOW M3 B3TT3R TH4N TH4T. FUCK, 1 M34N N3P3T4 W1LL T4K3 B3TT3R C4R3 OF THOS3 C4TS TH4N 4NY OWN3R WOULD. 1T'S JUST...”
”you're up2et we diidn't catch her?”
Terezi noded.
”1T'S TH4T DUMB 4S BR1CKS D3T3T1V3'S F4ULT TOO. H3 W4S TOLD NOT TO COME, BUT HE D1D 4NYWAYS! B3C4US3 OF H1M W3 LOST H3R!”
Sollux gave a bitter laugh
”ii told everyone he wa2 bad new2, but no one lii2tened...”
”H4, 1 GU3SS 1'LL B3 ON3 WHO'LL B3 L1ST3N1NG TO YOU MOR3 OFT3N TH3N.”
It was quiet for a few more minutes, until Terezi finally spoke.
”DO YOU M4YBE W4NT TO STOP AND G3T IC3 CR34M?”





Eridan grimaced. He'd been getting dirty looks from everyone since he'd got back. Everyone was acting like it was his fault they'd gotten away. Well fuck them, he'd managed to get some very important information about their boss that there was no way in hell he was going to share now.
He watched as the chief walked through the front door, and listened as he walked by and said,”D--->Ampora, my office, now”

Then he followed Equuis through the door.
He wasn't going to loose his job at least, he knew that.
Because they obviously needed him.

[KarneWarrior]

Formspring Shenanigans have made me want to read a saga about the trouble relationship between Settings and Online, as read by Kanaya.

Someone write this masterpiece.

[ArmsAreLoud]

So, if any of you guys remember what I did for my post 1000 I am doing the same for post 2000.

Because I would be shocked if any of you guys actually remembered that I will say that what I am doing is writing a fic based around the post directly after my #1999.

It was a comment on how the grist cost for one of Jade's dresses is a joke about her weight. ArmsAreLoud presents...

[B]Intervention[b]

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It was fucking ridiculous. We had to do something.

Ever since the Dream Bubble incident Jade's been eating away her sorrows. Twinkies. Honey Buns. ANYTHING she could get her hands on. It was a mad thing man, couple of weeks and it became clear that this town would never suffer an ass famine again because Jade could supply it all.

So, we hatched a plan. Kids and trolls got working on it. Besides, we didn't want another Vriska to cart around everywhere.

Gamzee set up a trail of pies for Jade to follow. Jade being crazier she followed it right into John's room.

"karkat lock the door"

"I DO NOT NEED ANY FUCKING INSTRUCTION TO MANIPULATE A FUCKING DOOR!"

"uh, guys? what's going on here?"

"We are staging an intervention, Jade. Do not fret, it will be over shortly if you simply cooperate."

Rose frowned. Jade's tears made it obvious she had no intention of cooperating.

"no! no no no no no no i do not need this!"

"listen jade you know i am your best bro if you did not need this i would not be here do you understand"

"sniff... yeah, i guess."

"alright now karkat here has been getting pretty worried about the size of your ass and i cant blame him it is pretty fucking huge" Blushes all around. Score one for TG.

"he obviously loves a good ass stare but it kinda loses its magic when there is nuthin visible but a bunch of ass you know what i mean"

"I THOUGHT THIS WAS ABOUT JADE'S WEIGHT PROBLEM. NOT MY FONDNESS FOR A WELL SHAPED ASS."

"well yeah i was getting to that"

"Sigh... Please, boys, allow me to handle this." Rose went over to Jade putting her arm around Jade's neck. Doing the psychiatrist thing again. I could dig so I decided against butting in.

"Now Jade. Your... Problem, it began soon after Feferi introduced you to the horrorterrors, correct?"

"uhh... yeah, i guess."

"And I suppose you will not take the explanation that the horrorterrors are not nearly as bad as they seem?"

"no! they are mean and awful and i hate them!!"

"Then tell me Jade... If I were to offer you a chance at catharsis, then would you cease your overeating?"

"yeah! what were you thinking about?"

"I believe John still has a bucket in his room. I think you know where I am going with this.

"OH HELL FUCKING NO. THIS IS A TERRIBLE FUCKING IDEA. THAT BITCH IS DATING A POWERFUL PSIONIC WHO WILL FLIP HIS SHIT IF HE FINDS OUT HIS GIRLFRIEND HAS BECOME THE UNWILLING SUBJECT OF A PORNO."

"actually... i think it'll be funny!!"

"WHAT."

"yeah, this may be just what i need. great idea rose!"

Sollux then proceeded to blow a hole in their base in the rift, forcing everyone into the vacuum of space.

Feferi secretly liked it.

The end.

Why would I do this.