New Alternia, around noon. A few years into the future, but not many.
"But mamma, why do I gotta wear teh stupid sunglasses?"
Shula, one the one hand, was happy that the "stupid sunglasses" weren't as obnoxious as her mother's, but on the other hand any pair of sunglasses would be "stupid". Except maybe, maybe uncle Dave's.
"You're still just a vulnerable little wiggler, strawberry", Terezi answered sweetly. "Mommy burned her eyes out from being out in the sun back on our old planet and really? I'm just worried. Besides, these are nice, right?"
"But mamma! It's noon outside! It's not that bright, I can take it!"
Terezi had nothing to say against that.
"Okay, but at least give the sunglasses an honest try for me sometime? No better kid than a coolkid!"
That seemed reasonable enough to the little tyke, who nodded in agreement and pocketed the sunglasses into one of the two blank cards she had acquired for her wriggling day.
"Are you sure about this", Karkat asked as he brought the coats. "The humans may not be so friendly if a whole bunch of us go out, and you know we can't hurt anyone without getting the whole colony blown up."
"Oh, relax Karkles. It'll be fine. After all, they tolerate Gamzee of all people, and the first thing he did when he arrived was hunt down and kill two guys!"
"Yeah, that was kinda impressive. But then we are talking about those two guys, and you were there to defend him in court", Karkat reminisced as he pulled on his coat.
"Fun times, fun times. Gotta admit, I nearly soiled myself when I took the stand..."
Shula giggled at the idea.
"But hey, is Nepeta ready to go?" Terezi inquired.
"She should be. In case you feel like asking, no her grub is still pupating. But it shouldn't finish until next week."
There was a wholly expected knock on the door. Karkat opened and promptly got hugged by the girl he had spoken of just then. In turn, Nepeta got pried off quite literally with a white-red cane. This only served to make Shula laugh even more.
"Hi auntie Nepeta", Shula greeted.
"Hi cub! You ready for a pawsome night out to town?"
"YEAH!"
~~~
As Karkat, Terezi, Nepeta, Sollux and Shula walked through the streets of the nearby human city, they overheard many opinions, stated in hushed tones.
"Look at that, Martha. Honest-to-God aliens, right 'ere in Nevada!"
"The hell is that guy wearin' three-dee glasses for anyway?"
"They gotta be secret invaders, Joe. Just look at that guy in the middle -- I ain't never seen a scowl like that." "HEY, HUMAN ASSHOLE! YOU WANNA SAY THAT TO MY SCOWLY FACE?"
Please don't let him take out the Regisickle...
Karkat did not take out the Regisickle, or any other variant he had. It would've seemed that the human asshole hadn't expected Karkat to have heard that. The fact that Karkat's scowly face looked even more dangerous from the front probably helped.
"I don't know Ethel. The little one looks perfectly harmless to me." "Don't let that fool you. I'm sure they're just tryin' to look harmless."
Terezi nodded at Shula who, with the flick of a wrist, took out her brand new scythe just long enough for this Ethel human to see, then put it back. Including the disturbing grin she had learned from her mother.
"If you ask me Todd, I'd totally tap the girl in the green coat." "Are you even sure she is a girl, Matt?" "Well duh, have you seen that rack? Ofcourse she's a girl!" "Just sayin' Matt, how can you be sure?"
Nepeta took cover behind Sollux until the scary jocks were out of sight.
"Oh hey mister Jones. Isn't that the young alien man who always shops here?" "Why yes, yes it is. Hello mister Captor!" "Oh hey, thup mithter Joneth! Thee ya neckth week?" "I'll make sure all the stuff's in stock sir, don't you worry." "Well well Thollucks, getting chummy with the shopkeepers? H3H3H3H." "Ith all good buthineth, TZ. Joneth ith happy to therve hith... how'd he thay? 'Hith gray-thkinned candycorn overlordth'?"
~~~
The trolls found themselves at a toy store, where Nepeta and Shula stopped to look at the stuff in the windows.
"What. Is. That?" Shula asked in wonderment as she stared at a stuffed animal toy in the window. Nepeta looked over to see what it was.
"I caught one of those once. It's an Earth hopbea-"
"Bunny rabbit", Karkat interrupted. Nepeta gave him a confused look.
"It's called a bunny rabbit. Not a hopbeast. Those are almost, but not entirely similar."
"...I want one", Shula said slowly, her eyes wide.
Terezi pushed Nepeta away to get a whiff of what the others were talking about.
"You want this bunny rabbit?" she asked in a carefully calculated tone.
"I want it!"
Memes were a beautiful thing, the adults decided.
"Then let's see if the place is still open", Karkat announced as he went for the door. The toy store was indeed still open, and it was relatively brightly lit inside. Shula was quick to put her sunglasses on.
"Hello Nevada human toystore employee", Karkat said. It was something the humans had come to expect, probably from watching too many cheesy science-fiction movies. It was just a courtesy, and he didn't say anything else while Nepeta and Shula tried to find the shelf with the bunnies. Karkat and Sollux found themselves puzzled by some of the recent videogame releases.
"It's not there yet, isn't it, bro?"
"Yeah. But it thouldn't be too long now."
"I wonder how Vriska would take it if sales sucked. I mean, she helped a lot."
"Probably worthe than I would, KK. Muthh worthe. And hey, tho did you. That wath a pretty thweet catth with the collitthionth."
"...gog DAMN they're still making these Final Fantasy games!?"
"There it is", Shula called out. Nepeta came over in a bounce.
"Let me see how much it is... Terezi, do you have this much?"
"Girl, I didn't even bring my wallet! Ask Karkles."
"Oh hell no! I ain't paying for no gog damned half-assed Con Air refere-- ah geez again with the eyes..."
A/N:
It is not the same kind of stuffed bunny, ofcourse. That'd be too cheap to even consider. Also, the "teh" at the start is not a typo -- that's just how Shula talks. She says "mistah" and "teh". I also have a quirk worked out for her:
GP: but th3n mist3r gamz33 ki113d a11 t3h scary c1owns
Can you see the hidden meaning?
Invitations for details regarding Nepeta's kid are still open -- the only constant is that it's Leijon, not Vantas, and that it's not Blaise -- he's for much later. And why not throw in the potential Captor twins?
Heh, I was thinking about this. I don't know about names, but I was thinking both of the Captor twins would be yellow-bloods, since in my headcanon yellow is very dominant and magenta is about as recessive as it gets. One twin would have red eyes, and the other would have blue. Both would have bipolar tendancies. Most of the time, they are bundles of energy and trouble, as they get very -EXCIT-ED about things. But after a mood swing, the red-eyed one would decide it's too cool for crazy shenanigans, and the blue-eyed one would just sort of beat itself up about having acted like such an idiot.
Just my idea on the matter. I like merging troll personalities!
If romart people want to draw me, my character is here! Done by TimeChaser, thanks a ton!
All these after the end series are awesome. All these grubs and children and what not. What I'd really love to see is some trans-temporal service worker trying to get the opinion cards for Sburb. It was a beta after all.
He sat in a corner in his room. The only light he permitted himself was the feeble nightlight that sputtered a weak fan of yellow light into the dingy room, because otherwise it would risk invoking the wrath of That Guy. He couldn't remember his name, mostly because Mom was drunk when she said it, and he didn't quite grasp how to pick about similar-sounding consonants when slurred that badly. That, and That Guy had ignored him resolutely, save to yell at him for being in the way or in sight. That Guy had a recent moment where he had stormed in drunk, screaming at him for wasting electricity with his lamp, and proceeded to take the bulb out and throw it outside into the street.
Since that moment, he'd been very careful never to leave his light on after he went to bed. Which was getting earlier and earlier now; Mom would "put him to bed" before she and That Guy left in his car, telling him to not make noise and just go to sleep. Last night it had been six o'clock, but tonight he had put himself to bed because no one had come home yet. It was eight o'clock when he decided he should go to bed, because he didn't want to get caught up so late, even if he had been waiting for Mom to show up. She had been asleep on the couch, reeking pungently of beer, when he left to walk to school, and she was gone when he came back.
School was nice that day. He didn't have lunch money, because Mom wasn't awake to give him any, and That Guy had taken to emptying the jar on the kitchen counter she usually put it in. So he just drifted into the cafeteria and sat with his friend, who gave him parts of their lunch. Their teacher, Mrs. Mason, had them sing happy birthday to him, and she handed out a small candy bar to each of them.
He was almost relieved when he came back to find the apartment empty, and set about in a somewhat guarded fashion watching whatever he wanted on TV. That Guy tended to monopolize it, so it had been a while since he could watch his favorite cartoon after school. After a few hours, he was starting to get a little worried that no one, not even Mom, was showing up. He scavenged dinner from the fridge with what he could stand on to reach, which turned out to be a couple pieces of bread left in the bag, some apple juice, and some peanut butter.
At eight, he brushed his teeth and went to his room, vaguely worried but somehow relieved he was still alone. He shut his light off regardless, feeling a species of dread creep into his chest when he realized the light from his room could be seen from the street. He wasn't particularly tired, so he sat on the floor of his room, holding the giant puppet he had since he could remember. He wound it's tattered orange arms around his shoulders, and held it close. It felt like a hug, so he was happy enough with it. He reached up into it's back, and found the little mechanism that let him move it's jaw, and sang softly as he manipulated it.
"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Charlie, happy birthday to you!"
He sighed, and snuggled the puppet close, feeling the reassuring weight of its wooden head cradling his shoulder and neck. "Thank you, Cal. I love you."
Sidenote:
I'm not sure at all I'm liking where I'm going with Bro's history, mostly because a lot of fandom writers (though not the one in this one, thankfully) like to go to the darkside and targedy and woez to elaborate on characters. But I will say that it's not just a pet hobby of mind to put Bro through the wringer because I think it's cool. Or hot. Or whatever.
In my head-canon, Bro was a rape child who spent most of his childhood in the gutter like an enfant sauvage until he ascended to citizenship through shady mobster practices. Even for what it was, I didn't think Sionnan's take was all that grim =P
man I seem to be the only one with headcanon of Bro as actually having been from a perfectly 100% normal family, and that he is just a complete weirdo.
probably only because I knew like, three guys like that in college.
Of course, it's fanfic, so all interpretations are equally valid
@sarasvati - oh man thank you so much! I'm glad that all came out in Purple Dave. I will say that I feel bad that I wasn't able to put as much effort into Blue and Green; but I'm glad that the stuff I have for Purple actually stands out. I roleplay him on Livejournal (under the name fpoke_of_ftairs) so I had already come up with some rather detailed stuff. I kind of... want to do more with him at some point, really
and also if anyone else wants to borrow some of my ideas for Purple Dave, you're more than welcome ^^;;;
Last edited by lucidSeraph; 01-01-2011 at 02:58 PM.
John sits at the husktop of Equius Zahhak and monitors what has all gone down. It is almost overwhelming to him to witness so much occur simply because of one miscalculation by either party. Tavros is the reason John did not ascend to god tier, he wanted to smack him silly and beat Tavros to a bloodied pulp. He had to resist though, killing each other would help no one get anywhere.
At least not now.
Rose watches John’s old body on the Skaian battlefield, she has her mouth agape in awe as something unexplainable occurs. As the life drains out of The Demon, the last bit of life inside fades away. John’s old body, The Horrorterror’s emissary, begins to undergo an unsightly transformation. She covers her mouth with her hands as tears begin to stream steadily from her eyes, her screams would only feed the horrorterrors.
˙ƎSOɹ NQĪUɐƜZN ʇSɹĒʌƎID SŪظ ɐʞ 'NɹƎƆ SƎ
Wings spurt out the back of John’s body, tentacles seethe through and tear the flesh in his sides. His head morphs into a more dog-like state. All of the artifacts within his Sylladex were sent flying out violently in every direction. A telescope hurtles towards Rose and she deflects it with ease, but she does not take her eyes off of the freshly prototyped Horrorterror Emissary. She is speechless, lost for words, but she has to find them and message the others.
Show pesterlog
- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at ? : ?? –
TT: John, are you there?
TT: Did you retrieve your pesterchum account?
- ectoBiologist has changed chumhandle to sɹāsıɯǝ sʌīzpǝu –
TT: Oh god.
NE: ¿ɐbnɐǝıd nʇǝıן ɹɐd sɐʞ
TT: Shut up!
- tentacleTherapist [TT] has blocked sɹāsıɯǝ sʌīzpǝu [NE] –
- sɹāsıɯǝ sʌīzpǝu [NE] unblocked themselves –
NE: ¿sǝıظıqou
TT: Go away, get the hell away from me.
TT: I can’t stand you anymore.
NE: ˙ǝsoɹ īɹɐ āʞ 'sɯnظ ou snbīʇǝɹd sızpnɐǝıd ɹı sɯnɯ
TT: Shut up.
TT: Shut up.
TT: Shut up!
- tentacleTherapist destroyed her hubtopband –
Rose’s ears were beginning to bleed again. She found it tempting to retreat from the battlefield and regroup with her friends for a full assault. That’s when she noted something showing, something was manifesting itself behind the Emissary. A large door, in the same form as the cursor for Sburb began to glow. That’s when she snaps to it and comes to the realization,
“The Horrorterrors aren’t part of the game….not a piece on the board…” She feels herself get goosebumps as she states it silently to herself, “..technically…we’ve won.”
The door shows itself as a whole now. The handle to it glows firmly with an untamed energy. The Emissary peers behind himself and spots the door. He ignores it however, this does not concern him, and none of his interest involve that.
Meanwhile John sits at the husktop witnessing all of this occur. He is still getting used to his new mechanical form and desires nothing more than to assist his friends in finishing this game once and for all. He asks Equius if it is alright for him to use his torllian client and change the trolltag, Equius stares at John for a moment and nods. He carries the inactive corpse of Aradia away. John returns his focus to the task at hand.
-centaursTesticle has changed trolltag to ghostyTrickster –
John doesn’t take the time to think further ahead, he hops on his friends timelines to a point in which they have spare time. His mind is nearly overwhelmed at the sheer amount of timelines Dave has. He has all of the timelines. All of them. As for Jade he sees a clear path, he goes to a point in time where she is with Becsprite, this turn in events was a little unexpected, but when you are a mechanical boy with the blood of an old love flowing through your fake veins and had been previously possessed by the dark beasts of the furthest ring, it’s hard to be surprised by anything. He sends her a quick message via trollian, he has all the time in the world to set things in motion, but he is still in a hurry.
Show pesterlog
- ghostyTrickster [GT] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at ? : ?? –
GT: jade!
GG: john?
GG: what was wrong with you? :(
GG: you attacked me!!
GT: i will have to explain later, now is not the time!
GG: okay. :/
GT: can you get Becsprite to take you to the skain battlefield?
GG: is something wrong on skaia??
GT: very wrong.
GT: rose is in danger and the horrorterrors still have my old body and now they also have the ring!
GT: hurry!
- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ghostyTrickster [GT] at ?: ?? –
That was one friend down, he had to get Dave’s attention, in fact, he is pretty sure he needs all of them. He clicks on a timeline at random, deciding to troll the one with the least of anything to do at the time.
Show trollog
- ghostyTrickster [GT] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at ? : ?? –
TG: already on it dweeb
- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ghostyTrickster [GT] at ? : ?? –
Dave had received a message in the past about this, so he figures at this point in time John is going back to tell him to somehow get in contact with the other Dave’s. Dave isn’t too sure what to do, but he has an idea that’s a little over the top.
Show memo
- (1) turntechGodhead opened a group chat <import time; all>
<exe.run>
<initiated>
- (2) turntechGodhead responded to memo –
- (3) turntechGodhead responded to memo –
- (4) turntechGodhead responded to memo –
1TG: okay that’s a start
1TG: where the fuck is the rest of us
3TG: whoa why am i three
4TG: the hell is this
2TG: calm the fuck down its just shenanigans
- (5) turntechGodhead responded to memo –
5TG: why the fuck are you 1
1TG: alpha timeline dumpass
2TG: that explains jackshit
2TG: so im going to die
1TG: guess so
5TG: fuck
4TG: fuck
3TG: fuck
- (6) turntechGodhead responded to memo –
6TG: fuck
2TG: did you do that just so you could feel cool
6TG: why was everyone else saying fuck
6TG: i was just getting man-handled by a fucking tentacle beast
3TG: every last one of us without the number 1 next to our names is doomed
4TG: lets wait so we dont have to repeat this shit again
1TG: sounds like a plan
- (7) turntechGodhead responded to memo –
- (8) turntechGodhead responded to memo –
8TG: sup
2TG: sssh
3TG: only dreams now
8TG: the hell
- (9) turntechGodhead responded to memo –
7TG: someone want to explain this shit
9TG: chill dude
9TG: no seriously someone explain this shit
1TG: be patient for fucks sake
- (10) turntechGodhead responded to memo –
- (11) turntechGodhead responded to memo –
- (12) turntechGodhead responded to memo –
1TG: aight that ought to be us all
1TG: now listen up
1TG: john wants me to go to skaia and save our sisters ass
3TG: her hot ass
8TG: it might distract me
1TG: fucking no
1TG: this is serious
10TG: then ignore them and just keep going
11TG: yeah
1TG: fine whatever
1TG: look thanks to tavros the game got fucked up worse than he could imagine
1TG: on the bright side we already beat the game
2TG: so why the fuck arent we just going and claiming our prize
5TG: yeah
9TG: why the fuck not
1TG: because the horrorterros still got johns body
1TG: to top that off the fuckers have THE RING
12TG: shit
4TG: whats the big deal
4TG: they cant use it
1TG: wrong
1TG: humans cant use it
1TG: horrorterrors arent exactly a part of the game
1TG: so they are an exception
6TG: oh shit
8TG: oh fucking hell
1TG: yeah
1TG: we got ourselves a time travelling space warping reality bending mean mother fucker who looks just like our good buddy John
11TG: your plan is what exactly
1TG: we go onto the battlefield and fuck that guys shit up
3TG: all of us
3TG: really
1TG: got a better idea
3TG: well no
1TG: thought so
1TG: every me get our asses moving
- (6) turntechGodhead ceased responding to memo –
- (10) turntechGodhead ceased responding to memo –
- (2) turntechGodhead ceased responding to memo –
- (4) turntechGodhead ceased responding to memo –
- (7) turntechGodhead ceased responding to memo –
- (3) turntechGodhead ceased responding to memo –
- (6) turntechGodhead ceased responding to memo –
- (12) turntechGodhead ceased responding to memo –
- (8) turntechGodhead ceased responding to memo –
- (9) turntechGodhead ceased responding to memo –
- (5) turntechGodhead ceased responding to memo –
11TG: arent you going
1TG: yeah
1TG: just wondering if i really am the alpha timeline
11TG: i think so
1TG: aight
- (11) turntechGodhead ceased responding to memo –
1TG: i really hope so
- (1) turntechGodhead closed the memo –
John went back in time just as Dave has mentioned and proceeds to inform him of what he has just told all the other hims. John sets his focus on something different now, precisely speaking, how he himself will reach Skaia. Considering it requires universal travel it will not be the easiest thing to do. He believes Becsprite may be able to help, but first he needs to become prepared. He walks over to the Alchemiter and tries to approach Kanaya in a calm and friendly manner.
“Kanaya! I need to alchemize shit!” He pushes her out of the way and waves captchalogue cards about in the air, “I need to hole punch these and get to Rose and” Kanaya clonks him on the head.
“You need to relax John, you have all the time in the world to do this. We have enough grist for just about anything. Just give me the cards.” She groans, fairly annoyed.
John hands her the cards and watches her punch them one by one. He was letting the thought of Rose and his friends dying get to him, but he wonders if it is because he really is worried, or because his programming is telling him to worry. It worries him severely. He watches her punch the cards, she hands them back to him and he returns to the Alchemiter. He believes now is an excellent time to try making a few things.
Problem Sleuth Game && Hammer = Warhammer of Zillyhoo
This combination had been itching at John's brainstem for some time, it’s a good thing his memory banks recalled this combo. Otherwise he might not be able to do what he was planning to do. This is probably the strongest hammer he’ll ever get, but he is one to push the envelope when the resources are present.
Fear no Anvil && Wrinklefucker && Green Frog = Billious Slimmonsuck
The hammer glows with a green intensity, the eyes on the side of it look around it. The hammer ribbits at John. He would freak out if it weren’t for the fact he was sort of expecting something strange to occur with this hammer. He notes that it seems to have lost its time powers, but it still seems to have some capabilities that are untapped as of yet.
John would alchemize more, but his latest creation has run the trolls grist cache dry. That hammer better be worth all that grist. John captchalogues both hammers and allocates them to his strife Specibus seeing as how his new mechanical body lacked one.
He returns to the husktop and checks on Dave, he has arrived on the battlefield along with eleven others of himself, John blames time bullshit on this, but he hopes that is enough to hold the Emissary back. He checks on Jade, she is currently alchemizing a new gun in the hopes of prepping herself properly. John feels he is prepared, but still needs means of reaching the battlefield and assisting his friends.
John messages Jade briefly and requests the Becsprite take him to the battlefield. Becsprite agrees and warps both himself and Jade to the trolls’ computer room. John goes to hug Jade, he wraps his arms around her and hugs her tightly. She struggles a bit, his grip is much tighter than he thinks it is. She hugs back as best she can and awaits John to pull away from the huge, as when he does she takes in a much needed deep breath.
“John…uhmm…be careful with those hugs!” She laughs through some strained breaths, “I couldn’t breathe!”
“Oh…sorry…” He sighs, he isn’t used to the power this body possesses. “I’ll be more careful next time.” He looks over to Becsprite, “Can we get going?”
Becsprite nods, he grabs Jade and John’s hands and warps them to the battlefield, the green voyage makes John a little dizzy, he isn’t used to this. He is fairly glad he doesn’t have a stomach anymore.
Arriving on the scene, they hear the sound of laughter and steel clashing. The loud roars of the horrorterrors in strife were chilling to the core. John grabbed the Warhammer of Zillyhoo out of his Sylladex and Jade armed herself with a freshly alchemized Darling’s little Angel. Which looked nothing short of a sniper rifle with a machine-gun barrel, scope, and John was pretty sure it had some untamed powers inside of it. Regardless the two of them entered the fray, there was no fighting occurring however, it seemed as though Rose and the Dave’s were merely having a staring contest with the Emissary.
Becsprite nabbed the medallion off of Jade and drifted off into the skies above. he did not want to watch, he felt that their deaths may be partly his fault if they do not succeed in this endeavor.
¿ʇIƎŠ NSIʌ ɹI ɐPUɐQ PɐʇĀʇ
The four children had started this game only days ago. Was it Hours, maybe even moments ago. The flow of time in the medium does not seem to matter. Perhaps it never really has. The four of them stand together for the first time since the game began. Their goal and reward was just within reach, the final boss awaiting them patiently. The Emissary reveals a weapon of his own. The Wrinklefucker John had left on himself prior to his death, prior to this madness had been mutated by the horrorterrors. The green slimmer ghost had grown tentacles and eyes. The irons had morphed as well. The Emissary cackles loudly.
¡sƎIʇʞĀS ɐUɐŠĀןʞʇɐ nŠɹĀʞ ɐןɐB nSŪظ iɐן pɐʇ
All the children can feel their ears pop, the pain of that horrid voice. Jade steps back and kept her distance from him, she lays flat on her belly and plants the Darling’s little Angel into the skaian soil. Each Dave readies himself a Scarlet Ribbitar. It seems during his time based shenanigans he gathered enough grist and decided that they all needed to be ready for the worst. John steps forth and raises the Warhammer high into the air. Rose glimpses at John for only a moment before he looks back up at her and gives her a subtle nod, this was not his team to lead. She smiles, not because she has hope they’ll win, but she knows he believes in her.
Rose takes in a deep breath and exhales, she proclaims loudly, for the Emissary to hear. “Strife!”
The Alpha timeline Dave pulls out his timetables and watches as his other selves lunge forth a the emissary, their blades clash with the darkened hammer. They run progressively around the Emissary, slashing at him and slicing the tentacles that come for them. Alpha timeline Dave scratches the timetables slightly, sending him to a matter of moments in the future, he leaps forward into the air as time skips forward by a matter of minutes. He drops down on the Emissary ready for a clean cut when time finally catches up to him. An iron frame collides with his skull and sends him backwards into the ground. He peers up to see three of himself already slain and soaked in blood. His own nose is bleeding, his vision is slightly blurred. He takes a moment to see what the others are doing, and ponders what he may have missed in such a short time frame.
Jade hasn’t moved, she has stayed put. The barrel of her rifle is smoking from being previously fired, but the tears dripping down her cheek seemed fresh. Dave looks at the Emissary, no bullet holes in him, not even a scratch. A glimpse at Rose shows her breathing heavily, coughing up blood. Dave takes a single step and feels a clunk against his foot, an arm of John’s new robotic body, torn off and splattered with the blood of Vriska. He holds it up and tosses it to the ground. Good lord, this is all wrong, there’s no way this is only minutes within the future. He scratches his timetables to send him back in time to before he skipped ahead.
He arrives just as his past self leaves. He sits down and watches, he is very sure he doesn’t make a move, in fact he’s not even sure what could happen.
The Emissary knocks the Daves back with the tentacles from Rose’s prototyping. They hit the ground hard, but this gives Jade the opening she was waiting for. She pulls the trigger and the rounds go flying. The bullets pierce the soft and powerless flesh of a different target. The Emissary warped one of the Daves into the pathway of the shots. He tosses the body at Jade and she doesn’t move, she simply begins to cry. Her tears slide down her cheeks as she tries to align another shot. She knows that Dave wasn’t the alpha timeline Dave, not her Dave, but he was still the man she loved.
Dave turns his attention to Rose briefly.
Her new outfit seems silly to him, but he’s not one to judge his sister’s sense of fashion. She waves her hands in the air, a glowing energy forms around her fingers, sparks dance in the air like fireworks in the night sky. Her eyes glow the same exuberant color as she lowers her arms and points her finger at the emissary. The energy focuses upon her fingertip and fizzles and crackles with energy, ready to be released. She whispers to herself, “…Suffer...” and sends out the energy blast at the Emissary, he opens the void in his chest and swallows the blast whole. His body glows faintly for a moment and the shot is displaced to behind Rose. She turns around and avoids it barely. It grazes her arm and tears her flesh and muscle from the bone. It bleeds profusely, but she is not giving up just yet.
Tears drip down his cheeks, Dave averts his eyes. He focuses on John, Dave has lost all hope that they stand any chance.
John can’t stand back and watch this all go down. He rushes at the Emissary alongside the other Daves. Their slashes are blocked, their frail forms are tossed and man-handled. John sees an opening, a chance to hit the Emissary head on, he rushes and swings his Warhammer down as hard as he can. Only for the Emissary to warp space briefly, disappearing from the scene. John’s attack missed him and instead hits one of the doomed Daves directly on the head, crushing his skull. The warm blood splatters John’s iron exterior. Another Dave’s slice missed its target, by mistake he slices the arm off of John. The arm flies off as blue blood, the blood of Vriska, stains the surrounding few. The arm lands by Alpha timeline Dave’s feet. He leaves it where it is.
He counts two bodies of Dave, but when he arrives there are three. He shivers a moment. He stands up and steps towards the battlefield. He rushes into the fray with nary a weapon in hand nor a plan. The only thing he knows is that he is not who he hoped he was. He is doomed, doomed to suffer, doomed to let down his friends. Doomed to die.
The Emissary reappears in front of Dave and pierces his gut with his bare hand. He pulls his hand out of Dave and lets his limp body fall to the ground. The Emissary kicks him away and grins eerily. Dave watches the spot where John’s arm is. He sees his past self arrive on the scene. Three dead bodies, just like he saw before, a stable time loop was made.
John falls back, he covers the arm socket trying to keep the blood of Vriska from draining out entirely. He is unarmed, literally in two variations of the term. He opens his Sylladex and reaches for his Billious Slimmonsuck. Then a PDA knocks him in the face, he picks it up carefully, blood smears over it, almost getting on the screen. It appears to be his PDA from the past, and he seems to be receiving a message from Dave.
Show pesterlog
-turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ghostyTrickster [GT] at ? : ?? –
TG: john
TG: dont do what you are about to do
GT: dave now is a horrible time to message me!
TG: if i wait we wont have time for jackshit
TG: dont use that fucking hammer
GT: why not?!
GT: its all I’ve got left to use!
TG: if you use that its game fucking over
TG: So don’t be an idiot!
- ghostyTrickster [GT] blocked turntechGodhead [TG] –
John was a little confused. Was their last hope too risky? He read over the chat again and again, something just didn’t add up. If it was Dave from the future why wasn’t there a timestamp? How was ghostyTrickster on pesterchum if that was his trolltag, and his chumhandle had been taken by the horrorterrors. It was all a bunch of malarkey, clues and bits of knowledge that just made no sense.
John grabs the Billious Slimmonsuck out of his Sylladex and holds it firmly in his hand. Time seems to stand still. Jades shots fly through the air, but each time she lets off a single round another Dave is used as a human shield. The bodies pile up around her, the Emissary mocks her pain by leaving reminders littered around her. Her tears blur her vision, she can’t see through the tears anymore. She can’t fight anymore.
Rose’s blood stains her clothes and hair, the discoloration overtakes the natural color of her outfit. She readies another blast of energy; it grows and glows on all five of her finger tips. She places her palm flat in the air and releases the blasts of pure power at the Emissary. The explosions surround him and the smoke blocks their view of him. Rose smiles for a moment, only have disbelief upon her face. Another Dave replacement.
John can’t take it, it’s just too much! He and his friends have suffered enough, he rushes in, he has a plan. A simple, stupid, aimless plan. He slams the Billious Slimmonsuck onto the skain battlefield.
Billious Slimmonsuck
Billious s l I m m o n s u c k
s u m m o n Billious s l I c k
Summon Billous Slick
The ground shakes below them, the land is unsettled. John falls onto his rear, Jade can feel her stomach grow upset, all this shaking is making her nauseas. Rose feels the vibrations of the land below her tremble through her body. Each Dave freezes in their tracks. The Emissary’s eyes widen, and beholds the great beast that stands before him.
A large and powerful deity, Billious Slick himself has arrived. He croaks loudly and the world around him shakes and trembles at his booming voice. He raises his webbed foot into the air and slams it down onto the Emissary. The ground the Emissary stood is crushed. A crater is in its wake. He pulls his webbed foor away and vanishes slowly. All that remains in the crater is a cracked and broken ring.
The children stand speechless a moment. They glance at each other, each of them tense. Was it really over? John walks steadily towards the crater, he peers inside. Nothing. Only that broken ring. He peers at the Door. Its still there, waiting to be opened. Rose, Jade, and Dave approach John. They had been through a lot in the past days, hours, seconds. They walk together to the door. They stand together for the last time in Sburb. John nods at Rose, she nods at Dave, Dave to Jade, and Jade to John. John reaches for the door handle and energy sparks between his steel fingertips and the handle. As he turns the handle and opens the door. The game is over, and they have won.
Author's notes
Happy new year everyone!
I am very pleased to finally finish this series.
Though I intended each part to only be 5 pages long in a word document, this ended up being 14!
Just wanted to pop in to say that Sionnan, I love every single one of your fics and never stop writing ever. I actually f5 this thread almost as much as Homestuck proper because of your Strider fics XD
I also have a question; what made you come up with Charlie (Charles?) as Bro's first name? At least I assume that's his first name from your most recent fic and the one with the girl at the apartment. I've seen a bunch of different names for him in fics (my personal headcanon is Brody :V) and was wondering if you had any particular inspiration
Just wanted to pop in to say that Sionnan, I love every single one of your fics and never stop writing ever. I actually f5 this thread almost as much as Homestuck proper because of your Strider fics XD
I also have a question; what made you come up with Charlie (Charles?) as Bro's first name? At least I assume that's his first name from your most recent fic and the one with the girl at the apartment. I've seen a bunch of different names for him in fics (my personal headcanon is Brody :V) and was wondering if you had any particular inspiration
Thanks! I'm really glad you're enjoying my stuff, and I'm over here grinning like an idiot because now I have warm fuzzies
Yup, Charles. My reasoning is kinda flimsy, but I go with it all the same. Aside for the ghetto-hip feeling the name Li'l Cal evokes, I went with the idea he's "Li'l" Cal for a reason. Usually Cal is a shortening for Calvin, but that was just way too lame and I couldn't live with myself calling Bro Calvin. Then again, Cal is sometimes a nonstandard shortening of Charles, so I used that. (Although I do like Brody )
Also, in my headcanon Bro is not a fan of his name, either, so he just gets called various generic things (dude, man, bro), or goes by Strider. Which is so much cooler.
Last edited by Sionnan; 01-01-2011 at 04:56 PM.
Strider brothers fics (many thanks go to egregiousBass for compiling them):
Musical Interlude- Dave tries to ironically score in the ongoing fight to one-up his brother. By joining the school chorus.
Trees and Tentacles- Bro's insomnia leads to inspired art and a little brotherly bonding time.
Undone- Dave tries to see his brother one last time.
Supermarket Shenanigans- in an early installment of the Striders, Bro looses Dave in a store. Cue panic.
My House- Dave butts heads with a lady friend of his brother's.
Binary- Bro's life and death are simple and convoluted affairs.
Climb- a brief look at where Bro is after he rocketboards off the roof.
Key- Bro teaches Dave the key behind being an ironic roof rapping ninja.
Parenthood- What Bro had to go through to make Dave what he is.
Parental Guidance- Parent teacher conferences are never fun for anyone involved.
Of Bathrooms and Beatdowns- The Striders' early morning rituals turn into unpleasant experiences at a party bro dj's at; aka roofies are never okay.
The Two of Us Are Dying- Bro has dreamt of his death sporadically for the past 13 years. Fallout.
Rap Battle!- One of the brothers' many sylladex hashrap battles. Chaos ensues.
If Illness was This One- Bro Strider is sick. Dave is not happy. The pumpkin shows up. [what pumpkin?]
Puppets and Porn- Bro Strider runs a faux/real puppet pr0n website from his home. With a minor in it. Of course someone was going to be totally not cool about it.
Puppet Porn pt II- Child protective services get called. Shit gets real. THE APARTMENT IS CLEAN OMGOMGOMGOMG
Voyeur- Jack Noir watches as Bro dies at his feet.
Surprise!- Dave wakes up on his birthday to the usual Strider shenanigans.
When "Puppets" Go Bad- Dave watches a clip of a video on Bro's computer of what looks to be a puppet trying to kill him in his sleep. Though, that's not quite the case.
Oh man, I never even considered him naming Li'l Cal like that, that's creative! And yeah, Charlie/Charles is infinitely cooler than Calvin, although I can see why he still wouldn't like to be called that. Maybe it's because my grandpa was named Charles, but it's always struck me as kind of an old guy name XD
But yeah, definitely keep writing those Strider!fics. Forever :| (The ones where Dave is a baby/toddler are especially adorable )
Oh Karkat, whatever did you get yourself into this time? The Big Day
Karkat stared at himself in the mirror. He was in shock that this was happening. Did he imagine this could ever occur? Definitely not in the six sweeps on Alternia, nor during the 601 days he spent in Sgrub and not even during the five years that have passed since. He was freaked out and didn't know what to do. This was the first time this has happened since everyone arrived here...
Well except for that brief ceremony between the now Mr and Mrs Egbert when they discovered that John was going to be an uncle...or brother...or whatever the temporal paradox term for that kind of relation was.
This was the first time there was going to be an actual wedding.
Why the fuck did Karkat's have to be the first one? Why couldn't John just spit the words out to Rose? She was pratically leaving notes stapled to his forehead telling him "emphatically yes you fool", everyone could see it...everyone except for John the thick-headed shit.
However, Karkat felt pressured by time and the ghost of someone who long ago told him to keep Jade an 'honest woman' despite the fact they never got to that phase of a relation the humans call 'second base', she wanted to wait until the time was right and he was terrified that the old man could still reach him across the Void.
No, that was a terrible excuse Karkat lectured himself in his mind, and it wasn't even near the reason he asked. He asked Jade to marry him because he loved her.
Not the pity romance that a leg of Troll society was built upon, but the true love that humans embraced with all of the foolishness their society was built upon. Karkat smiled as he thought about it, but the humans actually beat trolls there. Despite what Karkat told John in his fits of rage, human romantic flicks were truly something to marvel...especially the classics like that one about the princess and the farm boy she fell in love with...what the fuck was that one called? Nevermind, there were more important things on Karkat's mind.
Like the fact that Kanaya was currently messing around between his legs with some rather sharp and pointy metal bits.
He looked down at the jade-blood as she was hemming up the pants. Karkat was a bit frustrated because Kanaya and Rose had spent a full day humiliating him by taking measurements and making lewd comments in front of him. Damn those girls. But they both had said there was going to have to be further improvements once he actually got this 'tuxedo' on. He didn't understand that it meant they were going to be using their instruments of destruction so close to his skin.
"You done down there yet?"
Kanaya looked up at him with a mouthful of pins and needles.
"Are You Worried That I Shall Damage Something Delicate And Your Love Shall Impinge Your Manhood On Your Wedding Night?"
Karkat blushed something fierce as John and Dave who for some reason decided they had to watch him go through this humiliation laughed at him.
"No...I'm...I'm just a little..."
"Nervous?"
Karkat started turn towards John, but felt something poke him and a sharp grunt from Kanaya so he just settled with twisting his head back as far as he could.
"No, I'm just infested with gutmaggots.
What do you think? YES! YES I FUCKING NERVOUS!"
"Calm down you nervous fuck. It's only a short ceremony and then you can set your sick fantasies loose."
Dave gave Karkat a lecherous smile as he raised one of those beers that to his lips that Mrs Egbert had insisted on brewing. John blushed and started to cough fiercely and Kanaya just smiled in a way that embarassed Karkat far more than Dave's comment did.
"That's not why I'm doing this. I'm just worried that I'll do something to fuck everything up and humiliate Jade during this foolish ceremony."
John recomposed himself, walked up to Karkat and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Let me give you this relaxing thought my soon-to-be brother-in-law."
"What?"
"Jade's just as freaked out as you are right now. I talked to Rose a short while ago and she remarked that the poor girl is going hysterical."
Karkat's eyebrows shot up in worry.
"Relax man. As Dave said, it will be over quicker than you think and then you two will have the rest of your lives to spend with each other."
Karkat just nodded, but he didn't feel any better. In fact, he felt queasier.
John then went back to the countertop he had previously been sitting on next to Dave and smiled at Karkat.
"At least we had fun at the bachelor party last night."
"As much fun could be had without strippers."
Dave took another swig as John shrugged his shoulders.
"Well, all the girls were at Jade's bachelorette party...even though Nepeta said she would have been fine with dancing for her 'Karkitty'."
Dave stopped and stared off into the distance, thinking wistfully about that.
"Nah, it would get weird when we saw the dancer at the wedding the next day as one of Jade's bridesmaids."
"True, but it was still fun...what I can remember of it..."
Dave smirked, poor John just couldn't handle his liquor.
After bantering for a bit longer, Kanaya got up and indicated that she was done.
"So, can I see Jade to reassure her?"
Kanaya swatted him on the back of the head.
"Did You Not Review The Customs Of Human Marriage? The Groom Is Not To View The Bride Until The Actual Ceremony And Most Definitely Not Beforehand If She Has Adorned Herself In The Bridal Garments."
Kanaya then walked in front of Karkat and stared him down.
"Which She Has Done. Now..."
Kanaya then leaned forward and hugged Karkat and kissed him on his cheek.
"Best Of Luck Karkat, I'm So Happy For You Two."
Karkat just stared into the mirror. He was terrified. He then turned back to John and Dave to see what they had to say.
"Looking good."
"Like a stuffed penguin."
That helped Karkat relax a bit, he took a deep breath and turned around finally to give his best man and one of his groomsmen shit.
"So, you smug shit, when are you finally going to ask Rose to marry you?"
John whipped his head towards Karkat. Who walked up to the two humans and leaned against the countertop, terrified that if he sat down something would rip and then Kanaya would have to return with her instruments of torture.
"What?"
"When are you going to marry Rose?"
"Umm...uh..."
"Don't turn into Tavros on us man. I'm kinda curious as well, when you gonna make my sister a happy woman?"
John took this as an opportunity to turn the tables on Dave.
"You're one to talk. When you gonna marry Terezi?
You've got that little one who's about two years old now. When you gonna make her an honest woman?"
Dave raised his eyebrows at that one. Everyone, most definitely Terezi and himself, was surprised to learn that human and trolls were far more compatible than they had believed. Maybe they always were, maybe it was a 'gift' for ending their sessions. But they were all quite startled when Mrs Egbert announced that Terezi was expecting after she spent several weeks feeling ill.
Their girl was cute though.
And it forced upon Mr Egbert the unenviable task of teaching everyone about the birds and the bees and their rubber rain gear.
"Well...we've talked about it, but since the only other groups on this planet seem to be a couple of human, troll and hybrid medieval civilizations rather far away from us - we felt that there was no need for a formal thing tying us together. We're quite happy with what we have."
Another swig from the beer.
"Besides, she'd have far more than my balls if I EVER strayed and started fooling around on her."
They continued their bickering, it was like the good old days. Something that was long gone. But they still enjoyed themselves until it was time for the ceremony to begin.
Karkat found himself waiting at the front of the cafeteria which had been cleared out and decorated by everyone. They went all out with this. Even the other trolls found themselves getting caught up in the spirit.
He was standing at a podium and looked upon the 'guests'. Everyone that had crossed over was here. The exiles from Earth were in one cluster, there was Tavros and Aradia, Vriska and Eridan, Equius and his latest robo-girl, Kanaya, Gamzee and Nepeta, the little ones...everyone who wasn't involved elsewhere was there...looking at him. Karkat gulped and fingered his collar, trying to get more air...earning a sharp grunt from Kanaya who gave him a dirty look.
He would have done something, but then the music started up. It was beautiful. He heard stuff like this in the movies he watched, but they didn't sound half as beautiful as what he heard right then.
Then the doors that lead out opened up and the bridesmaids and groomsmen entered Sollux and Feferi, Dave and Terezi (who was starting to show again) and finally the best man and maid of honor: John and Rose. The six took up their positions. After them entered little Kade, the ringbearer - being forced along by Mrs Egbert. The girl hesitantly made her way down and stood next to her father.
"Daddy, I'm bored. I don't like this dress. I want to wear my pants."
"Hush hon, you're mommy is going to be here soon."
"She's all prettied up. Can I go play in the mud with the others after this? Can I Daddy?"
Karkat gestured to Mrs Egbert who came up and held the unruly little hybrid and sat down with her until she was needed again. Mrs Egbert pulled out the Crawdad doll Karkat had given the pride of his life last Christmas and used that to quiet her down. Karkat beamed at them and then froze in terror when a new tune started up.
Out came the man who was presiding over the ceremony, the righteous Hearts Boxcars. He had apparently begged on his hands and knees to Jade for this role and Karkat heard the huge Dersite had sobbed like a little girl when she said yes. He strode down the aisle, Clubs Deuce trailing behind him like a shadow until they reached the podium where CD split off and took a seat next to Mrs Egbert.
Down the aisle came Jade's other hybrids. Meryl and Wendy. The flowergirls. They made it most of the way down the aisle doing everything properly, but then ended up tossing their petals at each other and at everyone along the aisle. This earned a round of laughter as they too were rounded up and contained.
Kids...so much fun...
And then she entered, being escorted by Mr Egbert. Karkat couldn't help but stare at her in joy and wonder.
He watched her as she walked down the aisle, beaming in joy at everyone there. Hearts Boxcar swelled with joy as he prepped the notebook he had written down what he was going to recite.
Karkat just barely managed to notice Jade's wedding dress. It looked like Rose and Kanaya had alchemized the Three In The Morning Gown with a wedding dress from one of those magazines he saw Jade pouring through since he proposed to her.
Needless to say it was gorgeous on her. Rose and Kanaya had done a great job crafting that marvel by hand.
After an eternity, Jade reached the podium and took up her position next to Karkat. They smiled at each other and tried to not cry in joy and terror.
Hearts Boxcars then looked down at his notes and began. It all passed in a daze for the groom. He barely heard the prompt to say 'I do'.
Then with great reverence for the ceremony, Hearts Boxcar grinned at all involved.
"YOU MAY NOW KISS THE BRIDE."
"KISS HER YOU DAMNED FOOL."
This earned a terrified yelp from Tavros who ducked down in a conditioned response after being tormented by that voice for what seemed too long.
Everyone laughed except the bride and groom who were busy looking into each other's eyes.
Karkat leaned forward to give his new wife a kiss. But then he found himself going backwards...oh look the ceiling...
"OH GOD! KARKAT PASSED OUT!"
A/N:
Damn that went on for longer than I expected.
This came to me while working my way through A Storybook Story, I realized that since Jade and Karkat were married (with a newborn son no less), that I had a new fic idea.
As vaguely mentioned by Dave, there are other groups on this world. Humans and Trolls and a steadily growing population of hybrids as the two groups run into each other and fight and learn to get along and all that comes with that.
Oh, and the they don't need ectobiology to breed. Dave and Terezi discovered that Apparently more than once.
But now with this, I'm out of ideas I guess I'll have to wait to see what future Homestuck adventures inspire.
Last edited by Wigmund; 01-10-2011 at 12:17 PM.
Reason: Picked a great time to post a wedding fic
oh god damn it, new headcanon: Bro is grown up Calvin.
W-wow, Calvin sure took a level in badass. And the stuffed animal/plush thing sure took a turn for the horrifying...XD (dammit, new headcanon, get out of my head!)
Sionnan: Aww, but Calvin makes me think Calvin and Hobbes. ...
oh god damn it, new headcanon: Bro is grown up Calvin.
Hahah, oh god, this was actually the reason why I didn't want to go with Calvin, because of that comic. XD But.... hhnnnnrg the associations are irresistible. Little kid making best friend out of inanimate toy. Which gives me new fic ideas! Calvin is Bro's given name, Charles his middle, and Dave finds it out when he's doing paperwork for something and he sees his driver's birth certificate or something. I love getting ideas from you guys.
@Katrika: you are incredibly meticulous about your octosyllabic poem structure! Many kudos, I never have the discipline to manage that.
Strider brothers fics (many thanks go to egregiousBass for compiling them):
Musical Interlude- Dave tries to ironically score in the ongoing fight to one-up his brother. By joining the school chorus.
Trees and Tentacles- Bro's insomnia leads to inspired art and a little brotherly bonding time.
Undone- Dave tries to see his brother one last time.
Supermarket Shenanigans- in an early installment of the Striders, Bro looses Dave in a store. Cue panic.
My House- Dave butts heads with a lady friend of his brother's.
Binary- Bro's life and death are simple and convoluted affairs.
Climb- a brief look at where Bro is after he rocketboards off the roof.
Key- Bro teaches Dave the key behind being an ironic roof rapping ninja.
Parenthood- What Bro had to go through to make Dave what he is.
Parental Guidance- Parent teacher conferences are never fun for anyone involved.
Of Bathrooms and Beatdowns- The Striders' early morning rituals turn into unpleasant experiences at a party bro dj's at; aka roofies are never okay.
The Two of Us Are Dying- Bro has dreamt of his death sporadically for the past 13 years. Fallout.
Rap Battle!- One of the brothers' many sylladex hashrap battles. Chaos ensues.
If Illness was This One- Bro Strider is sick. Dave is not happy. The pumpkin shows up. [what pumpkin?]
Puppets and Porn- Bro Strider runs a faux/real puppet pr0n website from his home. With a minor in it. Of course someone was going to be totally not cool about it.
Puppet Porn pt II- Child protective services get called. Shit gets real. THE APARTMENT IS CLEAN OMGOMGOMGOMG
Voyeur- Jack Noir watches as Bro dies at his feet.
Surprise!- Dave wakes up on his birthday to the usual Strider shenanigans.
When "Puppets" Go Bad- Dave watches a clip of a video on Bro's computer of what looks to be a puppet trying to kill him in his sleep. Though, that's not quite the case.
Calvin is Bro's given name, Charles his middle, and Dave finds it out when he's doing paperwork for something and he sees his driver's birth certificate or something.
Oh god yes. Or Dave finds his own birth certificate or something and finds out that Bro gave him an embarrassing/awesome but weird middle name that he never knew about, like Optimus Prime or something.
Calvin is Bro's given name, Charles his middle, and Dave finds it out when he's doing paperwork for something and he sees his driver's birth certificate or something.
Oh god yes. Or Dave finds his own birth certificate or something and finds out that Bro gave him an embarrassing/awesome but weird middle name that he never knew about, like Optimus Prime or something.
Dang, I dunno about Canon Dave, but my own AU Purple!Dave is David Brier Lalonde.
Calvin is Bro's given name, Charles his middle, and Dave finds it out when he's doing paperwork for something and he sees his driver's birth certificate or something.
Oh god yes. Or Dave finds his own birth certificate or something and finds out that Bro gave him an embarrassing/awesome but weird middle name that he never knew about, like Optimus Prime or something.
David Piercetheheavens Strider
David Gurren Strider
David Rocketboots Strider
David Hell Yes Strider
David Nuclear Tomato Strider
I could go on but I won't
Originally Posted by HarMegidon
I just am asking why she is selling sausages at a funeral.
Originally Posted by inexpediency
Everyone is a hedgehog...on the inside.
Originally Posted by Tesseract
On a deadness scale of normal to doorknob I would rate her as double doorknob
Originally Posted by Jitka
fuck yeah sodium hexametaphosphate
that is my favorite hexametaphosphate
Malakin:because its actually the truman show just with ponys
crash826:that
crash826:makes
crash826:far too much sense
gingerale:xD
Malakin:think about it
Malakin:it all makes sense
Originally Posted by Catbread
Those sound like some pretty badass park rangers.
Originally Posted by ranasan
Wow... it's like if someone managed to manifest Missingno. from Pokemon Red and Blue into the real world, grind it up into a fine powder and then snort it.
18:21 Girard so I learned something at the barber:
18:22 Daniel ?
18:22 Girard The entirety of England, London in particular, is actually a stage for the biggest production of the musical Oliver ever made.
18:22 Girard England is a giant musical.
18:22 Girard This explains the small children with cockney accents and giant hats who dance in the streets.
18:23 Daniel ...DAMN YOU MARY POPPINS!
18:23 Daniel DAMN YOU TO HELL!
I just am asking why she is selling sausages at a funeral.
Originally Posted by inexpediency
Everyone is a hedgehog...on the inside.
Originally Posted by Tesseract
On a deadness scale of normal to doorknob I would rate her as double doorknob
Originally Posted by Jitka
fuck yeah sodium hexametaphosphate
that is my favorite hexametaphosphate
Malakin:because its actually the truman show just with ponys
crash826:that
crash826:makes
crash826:far too much sense
gingerale:xD
Malakin:think about it
Malakin:it all makes sense
Originally Posted by Catbread
Those sound like some pretty badass park rangers.
Originally Posted by ranasan
Wow... it's like if someone managed to manifest Missingno. from Pokemon Red and Blue into the real world, grind it up into a fine powder and then snort it.
18:21 Girard so I learned something at the barber:
18:22 Daniel ?
18:22 Girard The entirety of England, London in particular, is actually a stage for the biggest production of the musical Oliver ever made.
18:22 Girard England is a giant musical.
18:22 Girard This explains the small children with cockney accents and giant hats who dance in the streets.
18:23 Daniel ...DAMN YOU MARY POPPINS!
18:23 Daniel DAMN YOU TO HELL!
Originally Posted by Kawa
)
How could you!?
Apparently more than once.
I guess I'll have to wait to see what future Homestuck adventures inspire.
