MSPA Fanfiction IV

[Kawa]

Wait, this isn't awesomesauce! It's... sopor slaahhhwww.

*doof!*

zzz

[apocalypticCritic]

To the thread: all of the fics I've read have been awesome. I sadly must admit to not reading everything, due to trying to read this thread and the last one all in one night. I managed... barely. I especially like the Things I Will Not Do In An RPG. Again one by Karne and the Princess Bride parody/replacement fic/ whatever the appropriate term is. Oh, and the Strider fics.

Also, I have been inspired to write my own fic.... So, I guess, keep an eye out for that.

[Sionnan]

So when does something cool/okay turn into creepy obsessiveness? Cause I feel that I'm toeing the line into "that crazy girl on the forums who fills it with Strider fics". I seriously do have a life, I promise, I work 12 hours a day. I just write really fast.

Or maybe I can become the awesome ironical fan who knows she's smothering everyone and is all mad laughter but still pots her zillion fics even as every one goes DD8

ON THAT NOTE, HAVE PART 2 OF THAT CHORUS FIC.

Dave now actually has to sing that solo part. You can imagine the agony, I'm sure.

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Bro felt paradoxically way too young and way too old to be in school for a function. Over a decade older than most of the school kids milling around and chattering like starlings, and several decades younger than pretty much all of the parents trying to corale their children for one last ditch effort to get them to stop milling around and chattering like birds. And it made him feel pretty damn uncomfortable.

But hey, if Dave was going to haul his ass up on stage and in the spotlight and sing like a canary, the least Bro could do was feebly match the effort and go way outside his normal social group. Like, way, WAY outside. Standing on the buffed linoleum in clean, new bluejeans and a button up shirt he had neglected to button fully, he felt like an interloper. He briefly considered handing out tiny sample smuppets to the seniors, both in highschool and in old folks homes hanging around, the first for a new sales demographic, the second for the lulz. And then decided he didn't need the cops called on him and social services carting him away in cuffs.

The music teacher hovered in the doorway to the music room, and called for the people there to watch the concert to go to the auditorium. Aw snap, that meant he wasn't going to see Dave before the kid went on. Well, he'd see him after the thing was done, and they'd snag some food of Dave's liking to pacify his inevitable mortification. A passing father shot him a disapproving glance as he ushered his wife and teenage son through the auditorium doors.

Hell no. Bro would doff no hat for sake of common decency in buildings. He merely regarded the older gentlemen disappear, and shooting one last glance back to the diminishing line of kids filing into the music room, he steeled himself and plowed into the darkened theater.

He found a seat relatively close to an exit near the back, since most of the parents were wielding weapons and vying for the prime seats to watch their sprog, and checked his watch. It was due to start in another ten minutes, so he kicked back, propping his heels on the empty seats in front of him, and pulled out his phone. Might as well chillax and be a deviant motherfucker while waiting for innocent kiddies to belt out ill tunes.

/////

He fucking hated chorus. Hated it. All the kids were tonedeaf, and those that weren't didn't have proper technique, and sitting in that class was like an exercise of fucking patience. He should be sainted for what he had to put up with. But that didn't mean he had to be a dick and show them all up. For the most part, Dave hung out in the back of the tenor section, trying to cajole the other numbskulls in his section to pitch themselves according to him. It usually didn't work, which lead to some extremely aggravating dissonance as Dave sang the correct tune, and the guys around him sang out of key.

So goddamn irritating.

And God, that teacher was like a crow on carrion. She could smell talent. She was all over Dave the second day there, like he had some crazy homing beacon for correct harmony. So what happened to Mr. Coolpants Strider?

He got himself elected President Douchebag of Solo Land.

Dave Strider, precocious skateboarder, sicknasty rapper, swordsman extraordinaire-- singing a solo in a choral arrangement. He would have died if his dignity hadn't commited suicide the moment he signed up for this ridiculous shit. So what he had to do was make the sickest contribution to kiddie chorus since the day the firt brick of this shitty school was lain. Make sure no one was going to say, "Aw, yeah, that Dave kid. Man, I thought he was cool, but then he joined chorus, and he sucks!"

He tried not to fidget as they wended their way singlefile into the auditorium and onto the risers. He was already put off by the stench of adolescence and the futile attempt to mask it with deodorant and perfume, and he didn't need to look like a spazzbucket walking up there.

The teacher took her place in front of them, smiling her gross fake smile at the assembled audience, and then turned to them to mouth, "Smile."

Dave grimaced.

She raised her hands, and began conducting as the piano came to life.

First piece went by without Dave remembering singing it. Second he had little to do with, since the girls sang most of that to cover up for the male sections' suck. Third was his solo.

The backup came on, and the kids in front of him akwardly shifted to the side to let him come down. The spindly microphone beckoned stage front. Crap.

Man up, Strider.

He went down, the steps squeaking under his weight, and stood facing the audience, the microphone already preset for his height. He trie to make sure he didn't mouth breathe into it, standing well back until it was absolutely necessary to approach it. The face of dozens of parents loomed from the darkness, eyes glittering in the indirect light like a pack of coyotes. Oh God, this was unreal.

As he waited for letter C to come up, he scouted the audience. No sign of his Bro. Goddammit. He said he would be there, as soon as he got off his gig. He was probably yukking it up with his homeboys. Dave' stomach turned miserably as the piano started its retarded peddal to his note.

Why the hell was he acting like such a baby. Actually, it was probably better that he didn't embarass himself in front of Bro. He couldn't think of looking him in the-

-there he was. In the back, sitting forward in his seat. Dave, his view washed out by the glare of the lights, just managed to catch sight of the familiar, vibrant red cap in the back, cresting a doubly familiar set of sweet shades. His hands were locked together, elbows on his knees. He was watching Dave.

Dave took his starting breath, and Bro's fingers freed themeselves unconsciously to work at the notes, poking the pitch and swinging to sit atop notes, tapping the beat out lightly during holds. They had worked on perefecting it together, and Dave had been thankful, though he didn't say it, that Bro was a musical wizz. He had used hand signals along with pitches to help Dave memorize the note pattern. After a while, it became second nature, but Bro sang it with him so he wouldn't feel like an idiot alone. When Dave grew frustrated and tired of the lame music, Bro would only laugh at him, and Dave would come back every time, unwilling to be the only Strider to give up in the face of his brother's indefatiguability. Dave was a quick study himself, and soon enough he was listening as his brother sang harmony to his melody, turning the solo into a duet, to test that Dave knew his notes well enough to land them even when presented with a contrasting set.

It was probably one of the few times that Bro managed to teach him something that didn't involve puppets or swords, and thankfully, he didn't incorporate either, except for a few analogies scattered around.

When the piece finished, everybody clapped. Duh, of course. The teacher had agreed not to make him come down for a separate bow, so he just stood with the rest of the kids.

But in the back, Bro had stood up, raising his hands above the others so Dave could see only him, and even though it must have been impossible to hear them, Dave could have sworn he could hear his claps. God what a goon.


(But Dave still grinned.)

[egregiousBass]

I'm having a whole ass crater's worth of trouble getting the next Multidave chapter in, so here's a teaser thing or something.

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-- ?_? began pestering arachnidsGrip [AG] --

Greetings.
AG: Mister vanilla miksh8ke!
AG: How'd I do?
It was an adequate performance, though lacking in challenge.
AG: Haha, wow, I was just kidding.
AG: Like I care a8out your evalu8tion ::::P
A sentiment which can not be faulted.
In this story, I am but a mere narrator. It is you who must advance the plot, in whichever manner you desire.
AG: Really????????
Well, not entirely. Certain characters elude your complete control. But there are at least fifteen underlings who don't.
AG: So can I start ruining everything? ::::D
If that is what you wish, go right ahead. There are no rules of any sort. I, myself, am stationed far away on a distant moon, unable to supervise.
AG: Sw88t
AG: 8ut you can still see what's going to happen!
If by sight you mean knowledge, it just so happens there is a gap concerning the immediate future. Paradox space questions my discipline, it seems.
AG: I 8et if you knew what I'm gonna do, you'd try to stop me! ;;;;O
Then pray tell, how would you force my hand?
AG: How dear are your adora8le little paradox 8oys?
Oh, please. I aided in their salvage, but they are doomed nonetheless. I care not for them.
AG: Liar!
AG: They're all really imp8rtant and you're just trying to trick me with reverse psychology!!!!!!!!
I am amused that you think so lowly of me.
Yes, they are essential in completing a rather substantial time loop. Failing to create said loop would cause a nigh irredeemable paradox. If such a thing were to happen, I would surely be informed.
Besides, He is already here. The closing chapter is all but confirmed.
AG: Agh, so infuri8ing!!!!!!!!
AG: I thought I was free to mess with everything 8ut now you're telling me I w8n't?! No fun!
Consider it thusly. Since it is preemptively established that your actions will take place within acceptable boundaries, you are free to proceed with no regard for the consequences.
Free will is always an illusion. Not a single occurence is exempt from causality.
AG: 8luh 8luh!
AG: Why are you telling me 8ll of this anyw8????????
Perhaps this conversation was quintessential in securing a desirable sequence of events. But who knows? I certainly don't.
AG: Aaaaaaaargh
AG: You're a sick fuck and I hope you drop dead!

-- arachnidsGrip [AG] has blocked ?_? --

This typewriter has little regard for communication protocols.
AG: Do you think I c8re?

-- arachnidsGrip [AG] has blocked ?_? --

Sionnan, I'm going to read that right the fuck now.

[Tam Lin]

Am I allowed to request fanfics?

[arcaneCalligramancer]

I am totally awful at actually commenting on fics because I lurk more than a crocodile with social anxiety disorder, but Sionnan you are wonderful with your striderfics

[SkaianRedeemer]

Am I allowed to request fanfics?

You are but it might not be the best option considering that the thread moves very fast and I remember requests going sadly unfilled even in the tortoise days of Thread 2. If you're looking for an existing fic request setting, an LJ request meme exists here, though I've never been there myself. Looks like a new request post just went up to replace the old. Still, unless I've misunderstood (there is an art request post...), you can probably feel free to throw it out here if you want. Good luck!

[Wigmund]

Am I allowed to request fanfics?

I think there's a specific thread for requests. But to be honest, I'm more than happy to steal ideas from listen to other people's ideas.

[Katrika]

Sionnan. Never stop. Ever.

I want to read a Strider fic where a relative drops by. Maybe a cousin that Bro hung out with or something?

[Tam Lin]

Am I allowed to request fanfics?

I think there's a specific thread for requests. But to be honest, I'm more than happy to steal ideas from listen to other people's ideas.

Link?

[c_rowles]

Got no internet except for my phone and can't comment on much, but Sionnan, I feel all fluttery and awesome inside whenever you post a new fic. Never stop! Your writing is funny and entertaining, and your characterizations of Bro and Dave and their relationship are forever my [head]canon.

@Kass: if you're still up for ideas... how about a short fic about the Exiles? Nobody's touched those poor dudes for a while!

[SkaianRedeemer]

Am I allowed to request fanfics?

I think there's a specific thread for requests. But to be honest, I'm more than happy to steal ideas from listen to other people's ideas.

Link?

This one is the one I think Wigmund means.

[Graven_Image]

This is a thing that exists. Heaven help us.


John Wakes Up at the End

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OPEN PESTERLOG

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TT: And that's why you should never buy a grimoire.
TT: Not people in general, just you.
EB: uhh, thanks rose.
EB: i appreciate the advice.
TT: Getting a little weirded out, are we?
EB: if i say no, you'll just know i'm lying, so...
EB: yes. very yes.
TT: You're too kind, John.
TT: I wish the other people I know took even half as much an interest in my interests as you do.
EB: uhh...
EB: ok, i guess?
EB: oh shoot.
TT: What?
EB: man, i have to get to bed.
EB: it's midnight where i am! D:
TT: Oh dear.
TT: Pleasant dreams, I guess.
EB: heh, after that?
EB: not bloody likely.
TT: Are you trying to type like a Brit again?
EB: yeah, it's not working, is it.
EB: bye.

ectoBiologist ceased pestering tentacleTherapist

Ohh, man. Too many horrorterrors. Too much information beyond the ken of mortals. It was all overwhelming to John, and even worse, it was right before bed.

Talking with Rose before bed always gave him nightmares.

Maybe...

OPEN PESTERLOG

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ectoBiologist began pestering turntechGodhead

TG: whoa what
TG: dude its 3 am where I am
EB: and you don't go to sleep until like sunrise, right?
TG: true
TG: so whats up

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EB: and then she started telling me about all her spooky monster stuff
EB: and now i can't sleep!
TG: lol
TG: man what were you thinking talking to lalonde at ten at night
TG: that doesnt end well for nobody
EB: man
EB: i knoooow.
TG: so what
TG: you wanted some help getting to sleep
TG: or what
EB: nah, i just wanted someone else to talk to
EB: to get my mind off it.
TG: you know what maybe you should hit up GG
TG: she and rose are pretty opposite
EB: huh.
EB: you know, that's a good idea!
TG: uh huh
TG: remember you are talking to the good idea master
EB: right
EB: prince of smart, right here.
TG: yeah that's not a title i wanna go spreading around
TG: see ya
EB: bye!

ectoBiologist ceased pestering turntechGodhead

Well, 1 for 2 wasn't bad. And heaven only knew when Jade was and wasn't online. That girl switched the two like she was changing socks.

He checked. No dice.

gardenGnostic is currently an idle chum.

He laid back, and tried not to focus on the gaping image of Fluthulu Rose had subjected him to earlier that night.

DING

gardenGnostic is now an active chum!

Well then.

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ectoBiologist began pestering gardenGnostic

EB: uhh, hey there jade.
GG: john!! hi!!
GG: oh man i was just thinking about you!
EB: really?
EB: well, here i am.
GG: yes, here you are!
GG: i can see you.
EB: hehe, what?
EB: no you can't.
GG: well, NOW i can't
GG: but now I can!!!
GG: can't
GG: can!
GG: spinning is fun!
EB: uhh
EB: uhhhhh
EB: okay then.
EB: i just wanted to talk for a while.
GG: ok!
GG: what did you want to talk about?

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EB: and now I need help getting to sleep.
GG: hmm
GG: no!
EB: no what?
GG: no, you don't need help getting to sleep!
EB: how do you know?
GG: because, you need help getting awake!
EB: what do you mean?
GG: just lay down and try to wake up! it's not hard!
EB: i'm awake, jade.
EB: i'm really, really awake.
GG: that's the problem!
GG: and I think I can fix it....
EB: whoa what
EB: jade what's h appening i feel
EB: really
EB: rallly
EB: weirdddddddddddddddddd
GG: hehehehe!!

gardenGnostic ceased pestering ectoBiologist

"WAAAAAKE UUUUUP!"

His first conscious thought was that of the sensation of falling.

"What?"

And indeed, he was falling from somewhere. Somewhere very high up.

He screamed like a little girl. Horrorterrors or not, this was definitely another nightmare.

"Fly!"

Beside him, falling almost as fast, was a black-haired girl in a golden dress.

"Who are-"

"FLY, JOHN, FLY!!"

He covered his eyes as he neared the ground below.

No impact.

As he slowly opened them again, he realized that he was hovering a few feet off the ground.

Ok, so maybe it's not a nightmare. It's still weird.

"Yaaaay!"

The girl flew down to his level, clapping.

"You're awake! Finally!! I can't wait to show you everything!"

"Every what? Who are you?"

"It's me! Jade! You finally woke up!"

And suddenly he remembered all the weird conversations they'd had during the few years they'd known each other.

"Come on! I have to show you the clouds and the towers and the city and everything else! This is going to be SOOOO FUN!"

In any other scenarion, John would have asked more questions, or at least sought proof.

But right now, going out and seeing the world sounded like the best thing ever.

[Tenebrais]

I've had a post-Sburb concept going through my head for ages. Thought I'd write a couple of little vignettes. Probably do more later, especially if people like these.

New World

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“You’ll get fat, you know.”
This startled Vriska. It was the first time Kanaya had voluntarily spoken to her in months. Maybe even half a sweep. Not since they’d come to this world.
“I think I can handle one cupcake, Kan.” She was careful not lose face.
“But it’s not just one, is it? I bought those for Rose, and now there’s only two left.”
“Maybe she ate ‘em.”
“She didn’t like them. I know it was you, Vriska.”
“And so what if it was? Is that all you came and bugged me for?”
“I don’t really mind. But you will get fat if you keep going at that rate. You’ve put on weight already.”
“Well so what? I can put on weight if I want to. I already saved all your asses and got the guy! I think I can rest on my laurels a bit!”
“That’s not how I remember it. I seem to remember he saved you. And he did it while he hated you. I think he still does.”
“Well at least I got the guy then!”
“Vriska, humans don’t have that quadrant, remember?”
“Sure they do! They just don’t know it yet. You’ll see! When he comes back, you’ll see!”
She ate the rest of the cupcake, picking crumbs out of the case.
Kanaya cringed at the sight. “Well, like it or not, it doesn’t look like you’ll be able to fit into your trousers soon. And you know what that means.”
“Oh no. Hell no! Kanaya, if you can find one other person – one single person in all of paradox space – who cares even the TINIEST bit about your weird clothes thing, then – then! – I will go buy some with you.”
She just laughed.

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Orphaner Dualscar, terror of the tides. All who fell under his sights were doomed. And, sooner or later, everyone fell under his sights. No one was mightier or more feared than he was. One gesture, and fearful serfs clamoured to placate him. There was-
“Argh! Fuckin’ gankers! How the fuck am I supposed to lewel up when they’re always fuckin’ killin’ me just cause I’m an easy low-lewel target?”
“Aw, are the big mean players teasing you?” Rose mocked, leaning on his head. Crushing his hair. He pulled his head out from under her but, sadly, she didn’t lose her balance.
“Don’t patronise me, you fuckin’ witch,” he spat. “When I lewel up they’ll all be shakin’ at my might.”
“Of course they will,” she said, pinching his cheeks. “And when you’re all lewelled up like a big boy, maybe they’ll stop coming over to taunt you too.”
He looked back at the screen. His killer was still there, standing by his character’s corpse, doing that dance emote. And the name was...
“Oh, you fuckin’-“

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“Hey everyone! Roll call! We got mail!”
Gamzee had changed so much in half a sweep. He’d dropped the whole clown thing. Gone was his make-up, his hair had seen at least some attempt at combing, and his normal attire had been replaced with some sort of business suit in an attempt to “be a motherfuckin’ boss”. No one had any idea what he was on about, but it was a change, certainly.
“Alright, everyone here?” He asked after people had assembled in the room with him. “Vriska, Eridan, Sollux, Terezi, Dave... where are Rose and Kanaya? They’re not gonna want to fucking miss this!”
“What is it?” Terezi shouted out.
“It’s a letter from the others!”
A letter from the other group was the highlight of the month. A year ago, half of the sixteen heroes had gone to explore the world they’d forged and their friends had populated. The others stayed behind, their lust for adventure satisfied. When a letter from the wanderers came, everyone dropped what they were doing and assembled in the living room.
Well, almost everyone. Once Rose and Kanaya had been fetched they came down, adjusting their clothing. Rose hadn’t even managed to put her hairband back in. But no one noticed. Everyone was too keen to hear from their friends and partners.

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Hi!
Everyone tells me you’re all a really awesome bunch of guys, so I pretty much begged they let me be the one to write you a letter! My name’s Barry, by the way. Me and Sarah met your friends a few weeks ago. Have I told you about Sarah? She’s a hybrid. Forget what everyone says about them, she’s really nice. Those tiny white horns of hers are so adorable! We met three orbits ago and fell in love pretty much straight away! We got engaged last month, and we’re backpacking cross-country to celebrate. That’s how we met your friends. We weren’t really going the same way but we got along so well Sarah and me decided to tag along, at least for a while!
Oh man, I’m rambling again, aren’t I? Okay, enough about me, everyone has their stuff to say.
Feferi wants to say hi to her best matesprit ever, and she hopes you’re having a whale of a time. Her words, not mine! She told me you’d gone blind recently? Man, that’s so harsh. I hope it’s not too hard on you! But hey, she says you have Terezi to teach you how to cope with it and we all hope you’re doing well. She also says hi to Eridan, and that you shouldn’t beat yourself up too much. Don’t know what she means by that.
Equius says he’s been coming up with a lot of great material for this huge rap-off some of you guys have planned for when everyone gets back and you guys should prepare to be torn to shreds by words. I don’t get what this whole thing is about but I hear him and Tavros practicing pretty much non-stop and that’s the only chance I get to hear him speak most of the time!
Oh, Tavros also says hi. He says summer’s coming over so make sure you got all the right vegetables planted before the seasons change. There’s this book he gave you? Yeah, you probably know what to do. All this farming stuff goes way over my head! He also says the antelope have been breeding hugely lately and maybe you should get your hunt on. Or something like that.
Nepeta agrees about the hunting thing. You should see what that girl can do to a beast! Well, I guess you probably already have. She and Kitty are both doing great and they hope you are too.
Jade’s got a hell of a lot of new sketches. She’s getting really good at this whole drawing thing. She’s looking forward to showing you all, especially Dave, she thinks you’ll be really proud of her. In fact, I bet you’ll all be really proud of her. I would be! She can churn those things out so fast now, I swear she drew a songbird once while it was flying between two trees for just a second. But maybe I’m remembering wrong, I don’t know.
Aradia says hi too. She never says that much, even to me. That girl’s got issues, I’m telling you. But I guess all you trolls kind of have, huh? She gets on well with Jade, at least, and that’s apparently a good thing. She borrows those weird glasses sometimes. She says that Rose and Kanaya should be very ashamed of themselves. I think she was joking, though.
Karkat says “hi, you raging douchenozzles”. Word for word, no lie. He gets really creative with those insults, doesn’t he? He also says to Dave to keep your hands of his girl. I don’t actually know who he was talking about. I’ve heard quite a bit about you guys and I’ve managed to narrow it down to two girls. I guess you’d know which one!
John has all these great things to say about all the stuff we’ve been doing the last month. It’s been so badass! But I’m seriously running out of paper here so he’s gonna have to wait for another time. He says he loves you all, though.
Alright, I’m out of space now, so I’m just gonna say hi one last time. Hi!
Barry Southern

Author's Notes

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In case I never get round to telling the backstory, I figured all the major characters would arrive on a new planet, Nova, in a young universe. The Exiles use Incipisphere gear to populate it with paradox clones - of the players (in various combinations) as well as people from their home worlds, to keep the gene pool viable. This includes human-troll hybrids. They've got a pretty detailed biology that I won't get into now but will hopefully explain in the future. I just had to include one in the story somehow. The players themselves skipped several hundred orbits (an orbit is a year and a half, or about three quarters of a sweep) into the future, where the world was populated and easily inhabitable. Dad and Mom stayed behind, and the players live off the huge inheritance they built up from helping create civilisation.
Half of the players, the eight in the letter, wanted to explore the new world, so they set off to do just that. Jade took it upon herself to sketch as many specimens of new creatures or plants as she could without slowing the group down. Feferi helps too. Nepeta adopted a newborn cat and called her Kitty. She lives in her hat.
Established (loving) couples at this point are Dave/Jade, Karkat/Terezi, Sollux/Feferi and Rose/Kanaya. With the first three divided by so much space, though, there's a lot of pushing of boundaries. Rose is also forming a sort of kismesissitude with Eridan, which humans can't normally do. She's mostly doing it for fun but even she wouldn't deny there's some genuine feeling there.

Barry's a human, by the way.

[Graven_Image]

Interesting, Tenebrais. I like the concept of any post-SBurbian world, and these vignettes are pretty good at fleshing them out.

What would the MMO be called, though? WWorld of WWarcraft? :P

[kmsumrall]

Either this thread moves way to fast or I am becoming slow writer. Hint, writers block is blockage. I needs writers exlax.
Anyways, great stories all around.
I saw someone wanted to request a story. If anyone wants to see a story written I'll do my best to give it a fair shake.

[arcaneCalligramancer]

Writer's block is hell! It is the worst thing.

[Wigmund]

I've had a post-Sburb concept going through my head for ages. Thought I'd write a couple of little vignettes. Probably do more later, especially if people like these.

New World

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“You’ll get fat, you know.”
This startled Vriska. It was the first time Kanaya had voluntarily spoken to her in months. Maybe even half a sweep. Not since they’d come to this world.
“I think I can handle one cupcake, Kan.” She was careful not lose face.
“But it’s not just one, is it? I bought those for Rose, and now there’s only two left.”
“Maybe she ate ‘em.”
“She didn’t like them. I know it was you, Vriska.”
“And so what if it was? Is that all you came and bugged me for?”
“I don’t really mind. But you will get fat if you keep going at that rate. You’ve put on weight already.”
“Well so what? I can put on weight if I want to. I already saved all your asses and got the guy! I think I can rest on my laurels a bit!”
“That’s not how I remember it. I seem to remember he saved you. And he did it while he hated you. I think he still does.”
“Well at least I got the guy then!”
“Vriska, humans don’t have that quadrant, remember?”
“Sure they do! They just don’t know it yet. You’ll see! When he comes back, you’ll see!”
She ate the rest of the cupcake, picking crumbs out of the case.
Kanaya cringed at the sight. “Well, like it or not, it doesn’t look like you’ll be able to fit into your trousers soon. And you know what that means.”
“Oh no. Hell no! Kanaya, if you can find one other person – one single person in all of paradox space – who cares even the TINIEST bit about your weird clothes thing, then – then! – I will go buy some with you.”
She just laughed.

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Orphaner Dualscar, terror of the tides. All who fell under his sights were doomed. And, sooner or later, everyone fell under his sights. No one was mightier or more feared than he was. One gesture, and fearful serfs clamoured to placate him. There was-
“Argh! Fuckin’ gankers! How the fuck am I supposed to lewel up when they’re always fuckin’ killin’ me just cause I’m an easy low-lewel target?”
“Aw, are the big mean players teasing you?” Rose mocked, leaning on his head. Crushing his hair. He pulled his head out from under her but, sadly, she didn’t lose her balance.
“Don’t patronise me, you fuckin’ witch,” he spat. “When I lewel up they’ll all be shakin’ at my might.”
“Of course they will,” she said, pinching his cheeks. “And when you’re all lewelled up like a big boy, maybe they’ll stop coming over to taunt you too.”
He looked back at the screen. His killer was still there, standing by his character’s corpse, doing that dance emote. And the name was...
“Oh, you fuckin’-“

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“Hey everyone! Roll call! We got mail!”
Gamzee had changed so much in half a sweep. He’d dropped the whole clown thing. Gone was his make-up, his hair had seen at least some attempt at combing, and his normal attire had been replaced with some sort of business suit in an attempt to “be a motherfuckin’ boss”. No one had any idea what he was on about, but it was a change, certainly.
“Alright, everyone here?” He asked after people had assembled in the room with him. “Vriska, Eridan, Sollux, Terezi, Dave... where are Rose and Kanaya? They’re not gonna want to fucking miss this!”
“What is it?” Terezi shouted out.
“It’s a letter from the others!”
A letter from the other group was the highlight of the month. A year ago, half of the sixteen heroes had gone to explore the world they’d forged and their friends had populated. The others stayed behind, their lust for adventure satisfied. When a letter from the wanderers came, everyone dropped what they were doing and assembled in the living room.
Well, almost everyone. Once Rose and Kanaya had been fetched they came down, adjusting their clothing. Rose hadn’t even managed to put her hairband back in. But no one noticed. Everyone was too keen to hear from their friends and partners.

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Hi!
Everyone tells me you’re all a really awesome bunch of guys, so I pretty much begged they let me be the one to write you a letter! My name’s Barry, by the way. Me and Sarah met your friends a few weeks ago. Have I told you about Sarah? She’s a hybrid. Forget what everyone says about them, she’s really nice. Those tiny white horns of hers are so adorable! We met three orbits ago and fell in love pretty much straight away! We got engaged last month, and we’re backpacking cross-country to celebrate. That’s how we met your friends. We weren’t really going the same way but we got along so well Sarah and me decided to tag along, at least for a while!
Oh man, I’m rambling again, aren’t I? Okay, enough about me, everyone has their stuff to say.
Feferi wants to say hi to her best matesprit ever, and she hopes you’re having a whale of a time. Her words, not mine! She told me you’d gone blind recently? Man, that’s so harsh. I hope it’s not too hard on you! But hey, she says you have Terezi to teach you how to cope with it and we all hope you’re doing well. She also says hi to Eridan, and that you shouldn’t beat yourself up too much. Don’t know what she means by that.
Equius says he’s been coming up with a lot of great material for this huge rap-off some of you guys have planned for when everyone gets back and you guys should prepare to be torn to shreds by words. I don’t get what this whole thing is about but I hear him and Tavros practicing pretty much non-stop and that’s the only chance I get to hear him speak most of the time!
Oh, Tavros also says hi. He says summer’s coming over so make sure you got all the right vegetables planted before the seasons change. There’s this book he gave you? Yeah, you probably know what to do. All this farming stuff goes way over my head! He also says the antelope have been breeding hugely lately and maybe you should get your hunt on. Or something like that.
Nepeta agrees about the hunting thing. You should see what that girl can do to a beast! Well, I guess you probably already have. She and Kitty are both doing great and they hope you are too.
Jade’s got a hell of a lot of new sketches. She’s getting really good at this whole drawing thing. She’s looking forward to showing you all, especially Dave, she thinks you’ll be really proud of her. In fact, I bet you’ll all be really proud of her. I would be! She can churn those things out so fast now, I swear she drew a songbird once while it was flying between two trees for just a second. But maybe I’m remembering wrong, I don’t know.
Aradia says hi too. She never says that much, even to me. That girl’s got issues, I’m telling you. But I guess all you trolls kind of have, huh? She gets on well with Jade, at least, and that’s apparently a good thing. She borrows those weird glasses sometimes. She says that Rose and Kanaya should be very ashamed of themselves. I think she was joking, though.
Karkat says “hi, you raging douchenozzles”. Word for word, no lie. He gets really creative with those insults, doesn’t he? He also says to Dave to keep your hands of his girl. I don’t actually know who he was talking about. I’ve heard quite a bit about you guys and I’ve managed to narrow it down to two girls. I guess you’d know which one!
John has all these great things to say about all the stuff we’ve been doing the last month. It’s been so badass! But I’m seriously running out of paper here so he’s gonna have to wait for another time. He says he loves you all, though.
Alright, I’m out of space now, so I’m just gonna say hi one last time. Hi!
Barry Southern

Author's Notes

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In case I never get round to telling the backstory, I figured all the major characters would arrive on a new planet, Nova, in a young universe. The Exiles use Incipisphere gear to populate it with paradox clones - of the players (in various combinations) as well as people from their home worlds, to keep the gene pool viable. This includes human-troll hybrids. They've got a pretty detailed biology that I won't get into now but will hopefully explain in the future. I just had to include one in the story somehow. The players themselves skipped several hundred orbits (an orbit is a year and a half, or about three quarters of a sweep) into the future, where the world was populated and easily inhabitable. Dad and Mom stayed behind, and the players live off the huge inheritance they built up from helping create civilisation.
Half of the players, the eight in the letter, wanted to explore the new world, so they set off to do just that. Jade took it upon herself to sketch as many specimens of new creatures or plants as she could without slowing the group down. Feferi helps too. Nepeta adopted a newborn cat and called her Kitty. She lives in her hat.
Established (loving) couples at this point are Dave/Jade, Karkat/Terezi, Sollux/Feferi and Rose/Kanaya. With the first three divided by so much space, though, there's a lot of pushing of boundaries. Rose is also forming a sort of kismesissitude with Eridan, which humans can't normally do. She's mostly doing it for fun but even she wouldn't deny there's some genuine feeling there.

Barry's a human, by the way.

I loved these. Can't wait to see you do more with Nova.

[KarneWarrior]

I've had a post-Sburb concept going through my head for ages. Thought I'd write a couple of little vignettes. Probably do more later, especially if people like these.

New World

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“You’ll get fat, you know.”
This startled Vriska. It was the first time Kanaya had voluntarily spoken to her in months. Maybe even half a sweep. Not since they’d come to this world.
“I think I can handle one cupcake, Kan.” She was careful not lose face.
“But it’s not just one, is it? I bought those for Rose, and now there’s only two left.”
“Maybe she ate ‘em.”
“She didn’t like them. I know it was you, Vriska.”
“And so what if it was? Is that all you came and bugged me for?”
“I don’t really mind. But you will get fat if you keep going at that rate. You’ve put on weight already.”
“Well so what? I can put on weight if I want to. I already saved all your asses and got the guy! I think I can rest on my laurels a bit!”
“That’s not how I remember it. I seem to remember he saved you. And he did it while he hated you. I think he still does.”
“Well at least I got the guy then!”
“Vriska, humans don’t have that quadrant, remember?”
“Sure they do! They just don’t know it yet. You’ll see! When he comes back, you’ll see!”
She ate the rest of the cupcake, picking crumbs out of the case.
Kanaya cringed at the sight. “Well, like it or not, it doesn’t look like you’ll be able to fit into your trousers soon. And you know what that means.”
“Oh no. Hell no! Kanaya, if you can find one other person – one single person in all of paradox space – who cares even the TINIEST bit about your weird clothes thing, then – then! – I will go buy some with you.”
She just laughed.

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Orphaner Dualscar, terror of the tides. All who fell under his sights were doomed. And, sooner or later, everyone fell under his sights. No one was mightier or more feared than he was. One gesture, and fearful serfs clamoured to placate him. There was-
“Argh! Fuckin’ gankers! How the fuck am I supposed to lewel up when they’re always fuckin’ killin’ me just cause I’m an easy low-lewel target?”
“Aw, are the big mean players teasing you?” Rose mocked, leaning on his head. Crushing his hair. He pulled his head out from under her but, sadly, she didn’t lose her balance.
“Don’t patronise me, you fuckin’ witch,” he spat. “When I lewel up they’ll all be shakin’ at my might.”
“Of course they will,” she said, pinching his cheeks. “And when you’re all lewelled up like a big boy, maybe they’ll stop coming over to taunt you too.”
He looked back at the screen. His killer was still there, standing by his character’s corpse, doing that dance emote. And the name was...
“Oh, you fuckin’-“

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hide spoiler

“Hey everyone! Roll call! We got mail!”
Gamzee had changed so much in half a sweep. He’d dropped the whole clown thing. Gone was his make-up, his hair had seen at least some attempt at combing, and his normal attire had been replaced with some sort of business suit in an attempt to “be a motherfuckin’ boss”. No one had any idea what he was on about, but it was a change, certainly.
“Alright, everyone here?” He asked after people had assembled in the room with him. “Vriska, Eridan, Sollux, Terezi, Dave... where are Rose and Kanaya? They’re not gonna want to fucking miss this!”
“What is it?” Terezi shouted out.
“It’s a letter from the others!”
A letter from the other group was the highlight of the month. A year ago, half of the sixteen heroes had gone to explore the world they’d forged and their friends had populated. The others stayed behind, their lust for adventure satisfied. When a letter from the wanderers came, everyone dropped what they were doing and assembled in the living room.
Well, almost everyone. Once Rose and Kanaya had been fetched they came down, adjusting their clothing. Rose hadn’t even managed to put her hairband back in. But no one noticed. Everyone was too keen to hear from their friends and partners.

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hide spoiler

Hi!
Everyone tells me you’re all a really awesome bunch of guys, so I pretty much begged they let me be the one to write you a letter! My name’s Barry, by the way. Me and Sarah met your friends a few weeks ago. Have I told you about Sarah? She’s a hybrid. Forget what everyone says about them, she’s really nice. Those tiny white horns of hers are so adorable! We met three orbits ago and fell in love pretty much straight away! We got engaged last month, and we’re backpacking cross-country to celebrate. That’s how we met your friends. We weren’t really going the same way but we got along so well Sarah and me decided to tag along, at least for a while!
Oh man, I’m rambling again, aren’t I? Okay, enough about me, everyone has their stuff to say.
Feferi wants to say hi to her best matesprit ever, and she hopes you’re having a whale of a time. Her words, not mine! She told me you’d gone blind recently? Man, that’s so harsh. I hope it’s not too hard on you! But hey, she says you have Terezi to teach you how to cope with it and we all hope you’re doing well. She also says hi to Eridan, and that you shouldn’t beat yourself up too much. Don’t know what she means by that.
Equius says he’s been coming up with a lot of great material for this huge rap-off some of you guys have planned for when everyone gets back and you guys should prepare to be torn to shreds by words. I don’t get what this whole thing is about but I hear him and Tavros practicing pretty much non-stop and that’s the only chance I get to hear him speak most of the time!
Oh, Tavros also says hi. He says summer’s coming over so make sure you got all the right vegetables planted before the seasons change. There’s this book he gave you? Yeah, you probably know what to do. All this farming stuff goes way over my head! He also says the antelope have been breeding hugely lately and maybe you should get your hunt on. Or something like that.
Nepeta agrees about the hunting thing. You should see what that girl can do to a beast! Well, I guess you probably already have. She and Kitty are both doing great and they hope you are too.
Jade’s got a hell of a lot of new sketches. She’s getting really good at this whole drawing thing. She’s looking forward to showing you all, especially Dave, she thinks you’ll be really proud of her. In fact, I bet you’ll all be really proud of her. I would be! She can churn those things out so fast now, I swear she drew a songbird once while it was flying between two trees for just a second. But maybe I’m remembering wrong, I don’t know.
Aradia says hi too. She never says that much, even to me. That girl’s got issues, I’m telling you. But I guess all you trolls kind of have, huh? She gets on well with Jade, at least, and that’s apparently a good thing. She borrows those weird glasses sometimes. She says that Rose and Kanaya should be very ashamed of themselves. I think she was joking, though.
Karkat says “hi, you raging douchenozzles”. Word for word, no lie. He gets really creative with those insults, doesn’t he? He also says to Dave to keep your hands of his girl. I don’t actually know who he was talking about. I’ve heard quite a bit about you guys and I’ve managed to narrow it down to two girls. I guess you’d know which one!
John has all these great things to say about all the stuff we’ve been doing the last month. It’s been so badass! But I’m seriously running out of paper here so he’s gonna have to wait for another time. He says he loves you all, though.
Alright, I’m out of space now, so I’m just gonna say hi one last time. Hi!
Barry Southern

Author's Notes

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hide spoiler

In case I never get round to telling the backstory, I figured all the major characters would arrive on a new planet, Nova, in a young universe. The Exiles use Incipisphere gear to populate it with paradox clones - of the players (in various combinations) as well as people from their home worlds, to keep the gene pool viable. This includes human-troll hybrids. They've got a pretty detailed biology that I won't get into now but will hopefully explain in the future. I just had to include one in the story somehow. The players themselves skipped several hundred orbits (an orbit is a year and a half, or about three quarters of a sweep) into the future, where the world was populated and easily inhabitable. Dad and Mom stayed behind, and the players live off the huge inheritance they built up from helping create civilisation.
Half of the players, the eight in the letter, wanted to explore the new world, so they set off to do just that. Jade took it upon herself to sketch as many specimens of new creatures or plants as she could without slowing the group down. Feferi helps too. Nepeta adopted a newborn cat and called her Kitty. She lives in her hat.
Established (loving) couples at this point are Dave/Jade, Karkat/Terezi, Sollux/Feferi and Rose/Kanaya. With the first three divided by so much space, though, there's a lot of pushing of boundaries. Rose is also forming a sort of kismesissitude with Eridan, which humans can't normally do. She's mostly doing it for fun but even she wouldn't deny there's some genuine feeling there.

Barry's a human, by the way.

From what I read it sounds alot like a brighter version of Renaissance. Instead of physically trying to crossbreed humans and trolls, they used Equipment, right?

And there's the visibility of horns, too. My crossbreeds have horns but they stay below the skin, just little lumps. In fact, there's a rare breed going around that have their jaws hooked up to the horns giving them extra biting power. Why I came up with this when it will and can play NO part in my story is beyond me.

Anyways I just wanted to say that this is bloody brilliant, and also I think I telepathically stole your unwritten story or something. :P

E: Enders Game/ Homestuck Crossover. It needs to be done. I'll probably do it but I'm dropping off to bed so if anyone wants to run with it while I sleep go ahead.

[Decker]

Writer's block is hell! It is the worst thing.

mhm. I heard it saying once.
“Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.”

[X15lm204]

Crossposting from the livejournal request thread, because I can.

Transgender shenanigans warning for anyone not comfortable with that.

Implicitly follows this and roughly concurrent with this.

AU. Or is it?

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EB: so then the four slime containers got dumped into two bigger ones -
EB: dave’s bro’s with rose’s mom’s and my nanna’s with your grandpa’s -
EB: and here’s where it gets really weird and cool!
GG: oh my god :D
GG: i think i can guess!
EG: in pops four more babies!
EG: the four of us, two from each mix!
GG: oh wow :D
GG: wait...
GG: wouldn’t that make us...
EB: brother and sister, yeah!!!!!!!!
EB: dave and rose too!
GG: that’s sooo coooool!!!
GG: oh man i couldn’t have wished for a better brother! <3
EB: aww...
EB: or me a better sister!
EB: but actually you’re kinda getting a two for one deal.
EB: i mean, since dad is nanna’s son,
EB: the normal way, no paradox cloning or meteors,
EB: i think at least,
EB: that sorta makes him our half-bother.
GG: yay even better :)
GG: that’s gotta be kinda weird for you though, huh
EB: hehe, yeah.
EB: i don’t think he knows about this whole thing, so it’s gonna be interesting explaining this to him when we finally meet up again!
EB: if we do, i mean.
GG: don’t worry, i’m sure you will :)
EB: cloud vision?
GG: nope
GG: just trust in my brothers!
GG: (so coooool)
EB: thanks, jade.
EB: so anyway there i was,
EB: with all these little girls and bunnies,
EB: and karkat yelling about how i was about to do the WORST THING IN HISTORY,
EB: so of course i had to reenact a certain scene from a certain movie.
EB: practically my duty!
GG: hahaha of course!
GG: it sounds hilarious
EB: it was, you should have been there.
EB: oh wait.
EB: you were!
GG: heeheehee :D
EB: of course, babies poop a lot.
EB: and there were suddenly a lot of babies.
GG: groooss XP
EB: i’m just glad there were extra diapers in the lab, or it would have been a lot worse!
EB: though...
EB: well...
EB: here’s the thing...
GG: what?
EB: one of the babies i had to change was you.
GG: what
EB: surprised as i was to find out i had a twin,
EB: i was also surprised to find out we were identical!
EB: jade?
GG: oh nooooo
GG: then you
GG: i
EB: jade
GG: i mean
GG: i didn’t
EB: jade listen.
EB: this doesn’t change the fact that you’re one of my best friends and my favorite sister!
GG: but
EB: i probably should have said that first.
EB: but even though it doesn’t change anything i still think we should talk about it!
GG: i
GG: really
EB: really!
EB: :)
GG: um
GG: ok
GG: what did you want to know?
EB: well,
EB: mostly i just think it would be a good idea to get it off your chest.
EB: i mean, if it’s ok.
EB: so, how did this all start?
EB: like, did you’re grandpa just assume long hair meant girl and not bother to check, or something?
GG: i’m
GG: not actually sure if he ever knew
GG: believe it or not it was actually bec that took care of changing and washing me and stuff
EB: at this point that doesn’t even register on my weird-shit-ometer, haha!
GG: hee
GG: yeah
GG: guess not
GG: so, um, grandpa might have figured it out eventually, but he never mentioned it to me before he died
GG: i didn’t even realize that i was
GG: weird
GG: until a few months later when I found the internet :/
EB: i’m guessing from your panic earlier that didn’t go well?
GG: no
GG: no it didn’t :(
GG: if it’s ok i’d really like to not talk about that
EB: sure, of course.
GG: so when i met you and dave and rose
GG: well, i wanted you all to think of me as a girl so i didn’t say anything
GG: i’m so so sorry for lying but i just couldn’t deal with having to think of myself differently so i just kind of hid it
EB: don’t worry about it!
EB: i mean it’s not as if you were actually lying.
EB: whatever else you might be, you are a girl, right?
GG: yeah
GG: yeah i am :)
GG: but i didn’t think you’d think about it like that, and i’m not sure if the others will
GG: oh, please tell we you haven’t told them D:
EB: no, of course not.
EB: but i don’t think you really have anything to worry about with dave and rose.
GG: are you sure? :(
EB: yeah.
EB: i mean, rose would try to psychoanalyze you endlessly of course, but when it comes down to it she’s pretty much as chill as dave.
EB: which makes sense since they’re twins too!
EB: and you know dave’s always chill, he’d take it without missing a beat.
GG: maybe
EB: i bet he’d appreciate the irony too.
GG: is this ironic? :/
EB: i think so yeah!
GG: well, even if he didn’t think i was bad or weird
GG: i don’t think
GG: he’d ever
EB: ever what?
GG: um :(
EB: ...you like him, don’t you.
GG: yeah :(
GG: and he
GG: i mean
EB: and for it to go anywhere, he’d have to know.
GG: yeah :(
GG: john?
GG: are you still there?
EB: hey, what about your dreamself?
EB: i mean, it had to have been your grandpa who stuffed it, right?
EB: via whatever weird time shit brought him to the inscipisphere.
EB: so wouldn’t he know because of that?
GG: they’re “dream” selves, john
GG: the core of our subconscious images of ourselves made manifest
EB: right. so it wouldn’t have the same problem.
EB: oh no!
EB: that means...
EB: when you died you lost your chance at fixing this that way!
GG: no, john!
GG: stop this train of thought right there >:(
GG: that was in no way your fault and I made my choice in full knowledge of the consequences!
EB: but i took that chance away from you...
GG: shh only happys now
EB: hahahaha, what?
GG: :)
GG: really, it’s no one’s fault and certainly not yours!
GG: well, no one’s but jack noir’s, at least >:(
GG: so point that anger at him, not yourself, got it, mister?
EB: yeah.
EB: ok.
EB: sorry.
GG: good :)
EB: look...
EB: about dave...
EB: you know he’s a true friend and wouldn’t stop being a true friend just because you’re a little different than he thought, right?
GG: i guess :/
EB: so it can’t go as badly as you’re dreading, right?
EB: so if you do tell him, and tell him your feelings,
EB: worst case scenario, one of your friends is a little uncomfortable around you for a little while but will eventually get over it,
EB: best case scenario you get a cool new boyfriend.
EB: if you don’t tell him you’ve got no boyfriend and you’re still worrying about how he’ll react forever, which isn’t much better than the worst case scenario.
GG: yeah, but
GG: i just don’t think there’s any way he could
GG: you know
GG: feel the same way, if he knew everything :(
GG: i mean, even if he didn’t care i don’t think he’d understand or be
GG: interested...
EB: i think...
EB: first off, you can’t know if you don’t try.
EB: second,
EB: i’d be willing to bet that he’d be a lot more understanding than you think.
EB: and even if he freaks out you can just tell me and i’ll hammer him until he sees sense, ok?
GG: john! D:
EB: hey, it’s a brother’s duty to be overprotective of his sister!
GG: heeheehee :)
GG: well
GG: maybe you’re right
GG: i think i’ll talk to him a bit and think about it
EB: good.
EB: and no rush. i mean we’re only 13. whenever you’re ready, even if it’s never.
EB: but i really think your chances are higher than you’d expect.
GG: maybe :)
GG: ok, i’m gonna go now!
GG: but john?
EB: yeah?
GG: thanks
GG: bro!
EB: you’re welcome, sis.
GG: <3

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I've always found it funny how much Jade Harley had in common with one of my other favorite fictional characters, Jade Sinclair of the Whateley Academy series (http://www.crystalhall.org/). It wasn't too far a leap to put Harley in a similar situation to Sinclair.

Harley's a lot less crazy, though.

A lot less. Yes, really.

oh gog i don't even know where the jade/dave came from but i can't stop shipping them even when i'm shipping them with other people so i can't say i'm surprised

[winglessDrake]

X15lm24 -- Okay, speaking as a transguy, I've got to say you really nailed that whole aspect of the situation. I would react pretty much the same way as Jade did if I was outed to one of my friends like that (oh my god, that would be SO humiliating! Thank god John's a such a good guy1) and her reference to stuff that happened to her on the internet before she met the other three kids was both realistic, and very touching. So overall, this was awesome! And I'll be following those links to your other stories now. ^^

[sebastian]

X15lm24; sweet and endearing and funny, but now I so want to see the same done with Rose.

(Which, incidentally, would explain a lot about her and her relation with her mother.)

[lucidSeraph]

With Rose? I'd rather see the same done with Dave, tbh.

[sebastian]

With Rose? I'd rather see the same done with Dave, tbh.

It is in the first link. And it is hilarious.