@Katrika, stop making me laugh, I have an awful cold and laughing hurts.
@Sionnan: See, Sionnan understands. Sionnan's ripping arms out of sockets with the usual level of quality writing. That doesn't hurt my throat. Inexplicable joint aching, yes, but it doesn't hurt my throat.
@AppleTree: Annnd there we go.
@crash: Rent it out until the rest of us. Maybe that's what Gamzee's already doing? Gamzee lurks this thread, it's so clear now. Homestuck now makes 1% more sense.
so it appears that as I am in a school with no wifi, you guys are over here chillin' with your bad selves writing awesome fic and talking about interesting TG-gender-mixup-shenanigans.
Well that would be what this is related to.
That was all they had time for. Though, to be honest, the thought of the Knight of Time running out of "time" for a meeting was laughable, to say the least.
Nonetheless, five minutes was all the time that Dave and Jade could spare between him managing the timelines and her level-grinding to catch up with her friends, but spare it they did. It would be the first real time that any of the kids had ever met face to face, and while originally, everyone had been expected that it would be John and Rose to take that first step, that was just the way that the dice rolled.
Jade was nervous, as she pulled her cropped red jacket around herself, shivering in her realm's snow. But she had agreed to meet Dave at the most recognizable, least falling-apart portion of the island, and that happened to be the volcano not far from her house. Jade was nervous, because she had never seen Jade outside of one strange Skype session and the few glimpses she had caught of him through her dream-clouds. But she had become, to say the least, infatuated with the idea. He was always the one best suited to make her feel better, even more so than her twin brother. Dave never failed to make her smile, to assure her that everything would be alright. At risk of a bad pun, Jade thought of her friend as a bit of a knight in shining armor.
But it wasn't shining armor that appeared through the veil of snow. Instead it was red, a flaming line of red that appeared to be hovering towards her, around five feet from the ground. And then ruddy-blonde hair, and then glasses, and before Jade realized she was, she was sprinting across the snow of her land to run over and tackle her friend.
She knew something was off before impact. Dave... wasn't exactly how Jade had expected. His shoulders were thinner than the average teenage boy's, and his limbs more slender, and there was just the barest hint of a waist underneath his shirt. As she got closer, he noticed that she was even taller than the boy. To tell the truth, she didn't really care, and the two went tumbling through the ice and snow, Jade laughing, Dave caught somewhere between doing the same and yelling in frustration.
They came to a stop, and Jade looked up into Dave's face, and was just about to comment on how his sunglasses were askew when-
His voice was familiar, and that shouldn't have been so. Jade hadn't done voice chat with any of her friends before, but she did know Rose's voice through a video file that Rose had sent out months ago, before the game. Just a little thing the others watched out of politeness. And Dave's voice happened to be Rose's.
Carefully, Jade picked herself up off of Dave and helped him up as well. Or, she hoped it was Dave. And then she nervously fiddled with her hands a moment before
"Er, not to be, like, rude or anything, but you are Dave, right? Not Rose that Dave sent because he thought it would be sooooo funny? "
and Dave's face fell.
He had been feeling a similar thing to Jade; When he saw her, he had thought that it was John, dressed in Jade's clothes. The graphics aren't the best in sBurb, you see, and Dave had missed before the fact that his best friend's and his kinda-maybe-crush's builds were just about identical. Jade was thinner, sure, but she had broad, boylike shoulders, and just barely too shapeless a body to write off as her being a late-bloomer. And that voice. No, Dave couldn't deny, it was like he was talking to John, the one time they had talked over the phone. The syntax was different, as well as the accent, but Dave never forgot a voice and this sure as hell was John's.
"Depends. You John?"
Jade hesitated, biting her lip and fidgeting more. "Noooo!!! Why would you ask that?"
A glare. "Why would you ask if I was Rose? I mean, all of this cool couldn't possibly fit in her creepy ass." Jade giggled at that.
"Well, you just sound like her! And, uh, you kind of look like a girl? I think!"
"And you've pulled some witchery on John to steal his voice, so what? TT's my time-slime twin, we're just, like, identical."
Jade practically chomped through her lip, and Dave tensed as he realized what he had said.
"You know, like, identical twins are," Jade started, but Dave held up a hand.
"Fully identical, yeah, I got that." Jade teared up a little.
"Ohhh nooooo!!! John told on me, didn't he? And now you're making fun of me!!! "
Somewhere between the "Oh no!" and the beginning of Jade's muttering about how "You're gonna hate me!" Dave realized what Jade was talking about. He had never pulled off a facepalm combo like that in his life. Rose would be proud.
"Uh, Jade?" Said girl looked up, tears trickling down her face. And though Dave knew that this would be his first and only time saying it voluntarily
"I, uh... I have the same problem."
The awkwardness it brought on was diffused instantly by the warm feeling of Jade tackling him into the snow, crying out of relief that her crush didn't hate her. And not for the first time since entering the veil, Dave cursed the game, and time itself to a degree.
They'd never be able to get all the words out in five minutes.
Er... one in the morning and I need to be up in four hours. Um... This isn't that good feel free to start lynching, I'm free after school tomorrow >.>
Better stretch my legs... Sure has been a while. twigwise.tumblr Steam Powered Fanmily Member
“Trying to keep lookout without burning the fuck up. You want to take over watching then be my guest, I can use the extra sleep.Actually, I’m starting to think the leader shouldn’t be doing watch duty anyways.”
“I have questions for you.”
“Awesome. Amazing.” Karkat coughed. “I’m sure this mystery has been keeping you up all day. I can see how it’s tearing up your strong insides to know. Go back to sleep, numbhorns.”
Equius would not be deterred. “Why did you open up that horrible, ugh, Fiduspawn factory? It should have remained closed. Or destroyed.”
Karkat sighed and put down the Regisword, wincing slightly. “I’m just going to go straight to the point so maybe your underdeveloped mind can understand. These things are the future Lusus.”
“Think about all the stupid fucking stuff we’ve had to fight. You think any of that over-muscled shit can raise a grub? No, the Fiducrap was made to obey trolls.”
“I...I don’t quite understand how that how that would work. How-”
“Right. You don’t have the fucking foresight that I do, which is why I’m the leader and your just muscle. You know? You can have this shift until night starts. I’m getting some sleep.”
As Karkat settled between the sleeping trolls Equius opened the tent flap slightly, staring into the sun-soaked landscape.
Five night ago they saw a small mountain in the distance and made a detour to get their bearing. The violent fauna thinned out as they got closer, as if there were afraid of the gigantic structure. It was pretty clear why.
“I had always hoped to see one and pass on my strong genes or accept my failure but...”
Vriska was the first to notice that the mountain was the wrong shape to actually be a mountain. The high points weren't the right shape and the long out-reaches of the foothills spread in way too straight of lines.
“This... This is impossible!”
Equius was the one to find the giant handle, tripping over it. He started to pull it out, with the intent to throw it over the horizon, but when what it was attached to got uncovered he dropped it in horror and started sweating.
“No! This can’t be! The Imperial Drone can’t be- They just can’t-!”
“It’s ok...” Nepeta tired to hold Feferi’s shoulder but the aquatic troll brushed her away.
“Empress, please, we should-” Equius was drowned out by sobs.
Feferi just stared and sobbed, feeling everything crashing down on her. There had always been Drones, walking past the hive, dropping off pails at the factory, publicly killing any poor troll that didn’t-
“Oh come on! What the fuck did you think happened? They all just got together and started prancing around a fucking field singing sappy songs? The fucking world ended! Open your damn eyes! What could they do anyways?”
Equius started to protest but Nepeta held him back.
“The Drones, they could- They could still collect-”
“What, from dead trolls?”
“Th-The Mother Grub- she could just make new-”
“From under a meteor?! Everything got meteored! Mother Grub, breeding caverns, trial caves, the whole thing!”
Feferi fell to the ground, face in her hands. “No! No no! It really is the end! Its all over!”
Karkat shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, it is the end. What the fuck did you expect? All the troll race is is dead. What are you going to do about it?”
Feferi looked up, violet tears in her eyes. “D-do?”
“Yeah. Do. You are still alive, the other group is alive, and maybe we got a Matriorb too. Are you or are you not the fucking Empress?”
“I don’t deserve it...”
“Hey! Don’t make me ask again, are you the Empress?!”
“Is that a question?”
“I...am. I am!”
“Are you just going to minnow out and cry like a sad little pupa?”
“What are you going to do?”
“I am going to... shore up my confidence!”
“And what are you going to do with that shit?”
“Lead the school!”
“Who are you?!”
“I said, who are you?!”
“I don’t think you were listening to me. Who the fuck are you?!”
“Feferi Peixes! Troll Empress! Uniter of Races!”
“And don’t you forget it!”
“Right!” The empress jumped up, holding her spear in the air. “Vriska and Nepeta, swim to the top of the dear sweet dead drone! This is a good op-perch-tuna-ty to check the star charts to navigate this sea of sand!”
Nepeta snapped off a quick salute. “You got it, Empurress!”
Vriska shrugged and followed the huntress up the giant spiny corpse.
“Hey! Just because you are a part of dead roe-lty doesn’t mean you can be the sole leader!” Karkat stopped and blinked. “Fuck! I can’t fathom how I made such terrible puns! ...Damnit!”
He walked away shouting to himself as Feferi squealed.
“What are you supposed to be playing at now?”
“What do you mean?”
Weeeeeeeell,” started Vriska, “You lost all that stupid cat gear shit, so now what are you going to pretend to be? Wear a shell and be a toise-girl? It’s just as fake fakey pretendy stuff.”
“Silly Vriska, purrtend is for kids! You can’t stop the inner kitty! You don’t just play as a kitty, you be the kitty! Hunt the kitty! Eat the kitty! Smell the kitty!”
“Yeah, I can smell the kitty right now.”
The always cat-girl stuck out her tongue and went higher. “So,” she said and she climbed, “what about you? Still purrtending to be a great pirate?”
“Screw off, Leijon! I am waaaaaaaay past all the kiddie kid games and the kids that play them! The Marquise has taken the long deserved retirement that she earned.”
Vriska focused hard, trying to bring out at least a slight sliver of laser death, but nothing emerged. Muttering under her breath, she lifted her self up to the plateau that was the top of the drone’s head.
From here the two could see for miles in every direction. There was still no flora, although except for perhaps a touch of green in the direction they headed. This could have been just a moon’s reflection. Beasts struggled over some carrion in the distance, best to avoid starved blood-crazed corpse-eaters. The skies were clear of flying beasts, they must of stayed in the hills.
“Hey Vriska, what’s that grey thing over there? It looks really out of place.”
The 8 pupiled troll used seven to see what the other girl meant. Far out sometime metallic gleamed. She squinted harder.
“It’s got... I think it’s troll made. A walker of some sort, maybe a war machine. Looks damaged. Might be able to get some supplies or weapons from it. Wait a sec... Something is flying out of the hole. Looks like... Bees?”
I wonder who Vriska manipulated into bed so she'd have Ferris.
My theory is that she just wanted to try this "sex" thing (I'll let you imagine who she choose as a "volunteer"). She had no intention to get pregnant
(or whatever the word for trolls is). When it happened she invented, or stole, the "virgin pregnancy" and Troll Jegus idea.
Of course "he" doesn't remember a thing and have no idea he have a child.
Dave Strider wasn't sure where Jade Harley had heard that song, but as the girl danced through the snow on the Land of Frost and Frogs, he had a small memory pop up, but it was then distracted by the words that she was singing. Jade Harley never really sang, for although her voice was pure, it wasn't trained, and therefore cracked more often than not. However, as she looked up at the darkened yet bright sky, she sang, the notes heavy with pain, "I ask for nothing, I can get by - but I know so many, less lucky than I...." Jade looked over at Dave as the note broke at the last bit, her small buckteeth catching in the light, and as she bounced over to him, singing his name, he woke up abruptly on the floor in the library of the Land of Light and Rain.
Dave very rarely cried. His crying was a signal that something was seriously wrong. Why? - because, most of the time, when he was down, he just kept his iShades on, and his eyelashes glittered with the silvery tears that he never let escape until now. However, now, curled up around the last thing he had of her - a scrap of white fabric with a simple black circle on it. The center of the revolving rings, the center of his life - it came back in pain and soft, weeping horror as he tried to block the old memories from his brain. All the noises she made as she collapsed to the ground, to the Scratch of the timetables as he once again acknowledged his inability to anythi-- the beeping of his iPhones makes him nearly scream in frustration, but he eventually answers.
-- ectoBiologist [EB] has begun pestering turntechGodhead [TG]
EB: hey dave!
TG: john go away
EB: dave you can't keep missing her forever
TG: what the fuck do you mean
EB: do you think Jade would want you to keep moping around
EB: i mean, come on, she always had a smile on her face!
TG: john shut up seriously
EB: Jade was always the happy one, even when she was confused, don't you remember that story about her sprite and her?
EB: come on dave, get up, get out those tables
TG: THE TABLES CAN'T FUCKING HELP ANYMORE, JOHN
EB: whoa, dave, st--
TG: i'm saving her on my own
-- turntechGodhead [TG] has blocked ectoBiologist [EB] --
-- turntechGodhead [TG] has blocked tentacleTherapist [TT] --
Dave pushed to his feet in the Land of Light and Rain, and he looked out at the gate. He knew, unlike Rose and John, that the next gate did not lead to the Land of Wind and Shade, but instead to the Land of Frost and Frogs, where he had so recently seen her black hair buried underneath the soft white snow, where he had whispered his last good-byes to the only girl that ever broke his cool exterior. Therefore, when he noticed she was off, he pushed to his feet, grabbed the cycling Caledfwch, and made sure his time-tables were working for the first time since the Scratch that stopped him from saving her - and simply flew through the gate, and landed on a patch of ice, skidding to his knees.
As he started to panic as the white fall of the snow and the clear glisten of the ice and frost makes his heart race as he stumbles to his feet, gripping his weapon tightly in one hand, the other one poised on his TimeTables as he carefully walked through the glistening place. His heart ached as he acknowledged the sincere beauty of it, of the forward of it, of the coolness in it - that he thought on, ironically - that so reflected one of the people closest to her heart - him. Not that her heart was beating anymore. That thought made his teeth grit, and he slowly continues his way, walking past the stump that no one ever seemed to comment on, except there was a crackling of energy, and Dave whirled, the point of Caledfwch swinging through the air.
There was nothing but silence momentarily, but then behind Dave, he hears a nasty, chuckling cackle, and he whirls around again, to stare at Jack Noir. "No." Dave says, softly. "She died because her Denizen woke too early, that's what Rose said, that's why they didn't let me near her --" Jack shooks his head, an incredibly smug look on his face. "Oh no." He whispered in that dark, chuckling voice. "She died because she wanted to save you, my greatest adversary." Dave blinked and reflexively stood back, unsure - "Greatest because only you can stop time. So why don't you hold still for once?"
The TimeTable's rewound - and kept going until there were dozens of Doomed Dave timelines behind the real Dave. All were dressed identically, with Caledfwch and the TimeTable out, and the long red shirt with the infamous broken record. Jack Noir smiled. "A challenge, eh?" There was no answer from the Daves, only the wicked gleam of every iPhone in the area challenging him. "So be it." Jack snarled.
There was nothing - but then there was everything. The clash of multiple Caledfwchs', the noise of Jack Noirs' knife against them, the energy of the time-steps that they both took to save their own skins. There was nothing but battle, not even the other timeline Rose and Johns' pestering any of them could get their attention. But in the end, exhaustion falls - and one cannot ever truly stand up to the invincible. Jack Noir smiled as he gutted Dave, taking the TimeTables contemptously and throwing them against the stump, where they broke and made a sad humming noise as they permanently Scratched.
"Next time, kid." Noir said, before disappearing.
Dave wavered on his feet and slowly dropped to his knees. He wasn't far from the special place, he could make it there, he KNEW he could, it was just a matter of doing it, and he slowly dragged himself away from the carnage and that utter battlefield, licking his dry lips as he made his way through a small forest in the Land, breathing huskily, his knees making many crushing noises on the ground. Far away, he could hear Rose and John crying his name. Dave didn't care though; he had tried, that was all that mattered, and she was waiting for him. When he made it out of the forest, it was revealed that he was in a little clearing, where there was nothing, but a small blue stone embossed with purple.
'IF ONLY A MOMENTS TIME HAD GRANTED US A LIFETIME'
Dave ran his bloody fingers along the words, darkening the purple to a purple-red of a pomegrante. He sighed, rolling over to press his hand against it firmly. He was no longer aware of actual words, but only of time itself descending on him, time which he had been unable to control, and had lost her forever. Dave started crying again softly, as he left a bloody, permanent handprint on the stone. He was indistinctly aware of the cold of the snow against him. But he heard her voice again, and that was the most important thing. She was laughing and crying at the same time, and he was reaching out for her, and right as their fingers touched -
- Dave Strider died on top of Jade Harley's grave in the Land of Frost and Frogs.
Somewhere else, he pulls her into his arms as they both weep and he swears to never leave his princess again.
Don't say I didn't warn you. This was actually an exercise, because I normally write from female headcanons so writing from more Dave's point of view made me stop and ahfaereahaehea at times. But uh. Enjoy?
Last edited by flutterShy; 01-05-2011 at 02:02 PM.
Reason: formatting issues, herp derp -- and chumtitles :|
From Almost Human's Fanventure:
Originally Posted by CaptainZaven
Originally Posted by Almost Human
"Almost Human! Why are you trying to help my bully?"
"Why are you trying to hit my girlfr-Wait...bully?"
Story of my life.
Then, the continuation, after Zaven gets the girl:
The troll girl flipped her hair back. “Oh really? Are you going to the store or something? I’ll wait here, you pick me up something nice ok?”
“No. Being the first-born should have been my right as Troll Jegus. Instead-”
“Do you know how silly you sound? It’s like one of those human Saturday morning cartoon character.”
Ferris twitched slightly. “You would be a great inspiration to the others of our generation.”
“Eh, Whatevah. Hey little boy, can you wait here while I call your crazy mom?”
“You do not talk about Mother!” He breathed in deep, calming down. “Mother is incapacitated at this moment. Joining me is in your best interest. My human slaves can keep you... safe.”
Shula took out her scythe and started spinning it around. “Huh, safe. Hey, how come you aren’t talking to the parents?”
“They have been infected by the human disease known as friendship. They have forgotten their roots, how to be strong. The Troll Jegus will show you the proper way.” He held out his hand. “Are you willing to follow the correct path?”
Shula spat on him and knocked the troll boy down. She walked away in disgust.
Ferris scowled and put his hands to his temples.
“I was going to be civil. I was going to allow her to be my second in command. I was going to allow her to be with Carmen or Felicia or Elisha or any of them. There would have been no worries about continuing the race. I am the Troll Jegus.” Ferris stood up as his Sopor soaked slaves converged on the house. As he walked away, he turned back. “You would have made a good ally. Very good. Ah, well. Killed by humans is just as good.”
Man, I think Ferris needs someone to take him down a few pegs.
You cannot do it. You cannot finish the next Multidave chapter.
So here's some other AU thing instead.
-- gelidGadgeteer [GG] began pestering tragicTomfoolery [TT] --
GG: rose youve got to see this
GG: this is so cool oh my gosh
GG: rose are you idle or what
TT: i was passively ogling your inexplicable display of enthusiasm with wild abandon.
TT: what is it that has you acting out of character?
GG: i can time travel now!!
TT: is that so?
GG: i can prove it
GG: ask me some random thing
TT: who was the most prominent of the latin apologists?
-- gelidGadgeteer [GG] began pestering tragicTomfoolery [TT] --
GG: justin martyr
TT: oh my.
GG: honestly rose i cant believe the kinds of things you think are interesting
GG: dont you have anything else to do with your time than read stupid books
TT: i could say the same for your butt puppets.
GG: that was just uncalled for
TT: i presume you traveled back to before the apocalypse and looked up that name?
GG: nope :)
GG: i went to your land and asked you myself
GG: then i went back
TT: so, presumably, at some point in the future you will approach me bearing that same question, at which point i reply in the exact same fashion which you've seen me do?
TT: what do you mean 'hopefully'?
GG: well if its a stable time loop then everythings okay
GG: but its always possible that something happens that breaks the loop
TT: perhaps that, in light of this conversation, i will anticipate the future encounter and give you a false answer, such as anselmus of canterbury?
GG: what the fuck ever
GG: but yeah that would mess things up
TT: in what way exactly?
GG: the timeline i just came back from would be an offshoot and everyone in it stops existing
GG: and id be a paradox clone
GG: alongside past jade
GG: and then paradox space is gonna want to finish me off
GG: like drop a piano on me or something
TT: really? i'd have thought the great old ones less random in their dealings.
TT: never mind.
TT: but that is awfully macabre.
GG: its okay rose!
GG: i dont see past me anywhere
GG: so its probably okay
TT: it's possible that she's already left to find me...
TT: actually, wouldn't that be the case even in a stable time loop?
GG: well if you put it that way
TT: and i don't know how imminent this paradox clone killing really is,
TT: but there's always the off chance that it's yet to happen.
GG: are you saying
GG: rose are you saying im gonna die??
TT: shh, i didn't mean to scare you.
TT: i just tend to think in terms of the worst case scenario. it's a bad habit.
GG: but rose, if what youre saying is right i could be dead soon D:
GG: what if im a paradox clone??
TT: jade, listen. i can make sure that you aren't.
TT: what exactly did i say? i mean, in the future?
GG: umm it was like
GG: i dont remember >_<
TT: please jade, pull it together.
TT: i've dealt with enough nervous breakdowns for a day.
-- gelidGadgeteer [GG] is an idle chum --