MSPA Fanfiction IV

[rampantVariable]

-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

GG: are you guys friends yet??
TG: weep, john
TG: weep and i will cradle you in my wings and whisper sweet nothings in your ears
TG: whoa okay wrong chat window
GG: .........

-- gardenGnostic [GG] blocked turntechGodhead [TG] --

I LOVE YOU

He beat me to it.

Seriously, I am completely unable to keep up with this thread and usually don't wind up reading a lot of this stuff, just the short things, but I love your art so much I had to take a break to read something you wrote and I gotta say that you've got a lot of talent. Oh, and don't take offense to this anyone else, chances are if I'm not praising you it's because I simply didn't see whatever it is you wrote/drew, same as the art thread pretty much everything I do see here is amazing.

[c_rowles]

Previously, on Unhinged...
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Unhinged - part 14

show spoiler

hide spoiler

It was Davesprite and Jade against the Medium. Enemies continued to spawn and swarm across the towering house on LoHaC in ever-increasing numbers, an army sent for the sole purpose of killing Dave in his sleep. They'd lost most of the structure already; there were too many doors and windows, copied and pasted by Jade without thought as she built upwards, and it was impossible to seal them all before the creatures found a way in.

Dave's room was their last stronghold. Jade's cursor hovered just outside the door, a cinderblock held securely in her virtual grasp, and she swung it back and forth, bashing in the heads of any game enemy that dared attempt to get past her. Davesprite was at the window, barricaded with another stack of cinderblocks save for a tiny slit at the top, through which he sent laser after laser, frying whatever came close to the shattered glass.

It would have looked, to an outside observer, as if they guarded in silence. But Jade's screen and Dave's iShades were alive with text.

-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

GG: hey dave?
TG: yeah
GG: have you talked to john yet?
TG: no

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

GG: i think you should talk to john! you two are friends and its dumb that you won't talk to each other just because of some stuff you said when you were upset!!
TG: would you get off my back about this
GG: no!!! >:P

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

GG: dave....
TG: let me guess
TG: you want me to talk to egbert
GG: no!!!
GG: okay, yes.
TG: why dont you talk to him?
TG: apologize for me or whatever
TG: oh john hes so sorry
TG: how dare he feel insulted at the horrible horrible things you said to him
TG: grovel grovel
GG: you are both being so stupid!!!

-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

GG: talk to dave!!!!!
EB: um..... what?
GG: do it now or i will hate you forever!!!!!! <
EB: really?
GG: well maybe a little bit!!!
GG: you wont like it john! every time i see you ill look the other way and pretend you dont exist or something mean like that!!
GG: you think i cant be mean but i can be mean!!!!
EB: thats cold, jade. he doesnt even want to talk to me anyway!
EB: i said some stuff i shouldnt have and i think it made him really mad.
GG: what was that? i think it was the sound of you not existing~
EB: jaaaaaaade!
GG: was that the wind? i think it must have been the wind because it sure wasnt my good friend john!
GG: because my good friend john doesnt exist!!!!
GG: and will continue to not exist until he talks to my good friend dave and they are good friends with each other!
EB: bluuuuuh, you and dave are spending way too much time together.
GG: i think i will close this empty chat window where i am not talking to anybody who exists!
EB: jaaaaaaaaaaaaaade!
GG: watch me be mean, john!
GG: i mean dont watch me be mean because there is no john here!!!!
GG: >

-- gardenGnostic [GG] blocked ectoBiologist [EB] --

-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

EB: hey...
TG: sup
EB: can you tell her to unblock me?
TG: cant man
TG: she wont talk to me until i talk to you

An awkward silence.

EB: are you really mad? about how i said you werent our dave?
TG: nah
EB: okay.
EB: i was going to pester you right back and say something but i figured you were pretty mad.
EB: and then some other stuff came up, like getting jade into the medium and that kind of thing, so i guess i figured i would do it later!

Another awkward silence, which John seemed compelled to fill.

EB: so.....
EB: im going through my second gate right now.
EB: i know its stupid to just give jack what he wants, but theres still stuff we can do about it!
EB: so im going to check up on rose. just to make sure her regular body is okay, you know?
TG: good idea
TG: what about jade?
EB: ive got my cosbytop so i can get her in from wherever.
EB: all i really have left to do is prototype her sprite and weve got a while to decide anyway.
TG: great
TG: hold off on entering until rose is out of there though
TG: last thing we need is another prototyping
EB: well duh!
EB: hey, um...
EB: dave are we cool?
EB: you know i didnt mean that stuff about you and i know you didnt mean that stuff about rose.

Davesprite sighed and blasted an ogre to oblivion without really thinking about it, knowing that Jade could see him on her screen and was waiting for him and John to make amends. They weren't cool, not really, but it made a difference that John wanted to be.

TG: hey
TG: two options here
TG: we could talk this thing out and get all weepy
TG: cry on each others shoulders like little girls
TG: swear to never fight again
TG: that kind of thing
TG: or we could be real men
TG: avoid the subject entirely
TG: and lie out our butts when she comes back
EB: but dave! i have always wanted to cry on your big strong shoulders!
TG: i know right
TG: theyre just irresistible
TG: so manly
EB: so manly!

-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

GG: are you guys friends yet??
TG: weep, john
TG: weep and i will cradle you in my wings and whisper sweet nothings in your ears
TG: whoa okay wrong chat window
GG: .........

-- gardenGnostic [GG] blocked turntechGodhead [TG] --

- - - - - - - - - -

In silence Dave landed on a narrow ledge about halfway up one of the palace towers, just below the row of windows that led to Rose's office. The other three towers loomed distant and massive, and beyond them yawned the dark void of the Furthest Ring, where Dave could vaguely make out the drifting shapes of the Horrorterrors, black, formless shadows in the darkness of his shades.

He gripped the little glass vial he'd been given by Pariah, straightened up, and peered carefully into the window just above him, careful not to be seen. The Fenestrated Walls were glowing faintly, and Rose's desk sat vacant before them; it seemed like no one was here.

The Knight grasped the grating he'd ripped out of the wall before (she'd made him put it back, so no one would get suspicious), and pulled it away easily. He laid it aside on the ledge beneath him and climbed inside. "Rose?"

At first there was no answer, and the horrible panic struck him that they'd moved her again, that she was lost forever, that he'd never be as lucky as to find her a third time. "Hey, Rose!"

There was blood on the desk.

It was smeared across the papers and files and dark purple wood, and drops of it had spattered against the floor, still bright and wet and red. Dave's heart twisted sickening for a split second (blood on my hands blood all over me and I'm lying on the floor dead with DD's switchblade in my back and now I know exactly how much blood there is in a human body oh god oh god I have to get rid of it before Jade sees because she will freak).

But before they've killed her had time to become a fully formed thought, he heard her voice from behind one of the Fenestrated Walls. "Dave."

He practically sprinted the length of the room, some part of him embarrassed for not being cool about this and the rest of him not caring. Rose was sitting in the shadows, her back to the dark side of the Wall and her chin resting on her knees. Dave stared down at her, panting, and she looked up at him with watery eyes and an ash-pale face.

"You hurt?"

She shook her head. Letting out a heavy breath, he slid down the wall and sat beside her. "God, Rose. There's blood all over."

"I know."

"But you're okay?"

"Yes, Dave. It's not my blood." She was holding the quill pen he'd brought her between her hands, and it shone clean and white in the shadows. "I'm sorry for hiding back here, it's just... Jack came in covered in blood and told me he'd killed a lot of people, and I think it just scared me more than it should have."

"Oh." Ha, imagine him, Dave Strider, panicking over something as simple as that. "Yeah, you may not have picked up on this, but he does that."

She gave a weak laugh. "No, I hadn't noticed. How kind of you to inform me."

He remembered the vial in his hand, and passed it over to her. "Here, it's from my rebel alliance of three."

"I thought you were Darth Vader?" she commented with a sort of forced lightness, taking the vial and watching its dark contents move around with syrupy slowness within.

"Nah, that got old fast. I'm Zazzerpan the Fantastical now."

"That's terrible. You're hardly worthy of Zazzerpan's most ancient and exalted name."

"You can't call it 'ancient and exalted' if you write slashfic about it. Pretty sure that's a universal law."

"Disappointed sigh, Dave. What's in here, anyhow?"

Dave shrugged. "Antidote for poison, I think. Pariah was pretty insistent that you had some, in case Jack or his minions tried to use you as a food tester. I'm pretty sure she's been poisoning his food, so I'd take her seriously."

"I know." Her voice caught in her throat, and Dave turned his head to see her biting her lip, her eyes shining. "I just... I'm aware that his food is being poisoned. Was being poisoned."

"Rose?"

"Dave, I don't... I d-don't..." Her shoulders were trembling, and her hands clenched tightly around the pen.

"Yeah?"

Wide-eyed and white faced, her words came out in a whisper. "I don't want to do this anymore."

There was a point at which something irrational took over, and suddenly that flood of self-hatred and smothered fears that had been dammed up for so long broke free, and you kept talking and talking and couldn't stop yourself because if you did you'd drown in it. "I'm a terrible person. I'm a terrible horrible person and I deserve to have horrible things happen to me, because I'm driving a man insane. I'm tearing him apart inside and I'm doing it WELL and he doesn't even know because I made him blame his best friend. And the worst part is that I didn't even feel bad about it at first because I hated him! I hate him! I was so angry and I wanted to hurt him so much and then I did but it just made me feel sick because of how good I was at it, and-"

"Rose," Dave began, trying and failing to stop the flow of words that sleeted around him.

"-this isn't like my mother, it's nothing like that. I know I say all those terrible things about her but she loves me, and if I don't win one of our stupid little battles of one-upmanship she doesn't even notice, and she won't kill me if I do something wrong. And here I could die if I say even one thing out of line. And I'm scared! I'm really scared and the only thing to do is to keep going forward even though I hate what I'm doing, and I just want to stop! I don't want to do this anymore!"

"Rose!" he said at last, and she gazed at him with cheeks flushed and wet with tears.

"You done?"

"I think so," she said, wiping her eyes with the edge of her Archagent's uniform. Dave put an arm around her shoulders, because that was what his bro used to do when he'd woken from a nightmare, and hugged her to his side. She leaned her head on his shoulder.

He honestly had no idea what to do. He'd never seen Rose this upset before, and he had the odd feeling that who she really needed was John right now. John was the cheerful, optimistic one who always knew the right thing to say. Dave just supplied the irony.

"Okay," he tried. "First off, you're not a terrible person. Like, not even close. I've never seen you kick a puppy or anything so you'd probably suck as a villain."

"I've killed imps."

"Computer game, Rose. That doesn't even count. Actually, yeah, second thing. This is a freaking computer game. The bad guys are evil; it's okay to brutally murder them. Even Jack," he added, as she opened her mouth to contradict him. "I know they seem like people or whatever, but they're characters in a game, and he's our final boss. Fucking up his shit is kind of the whole point."

"You didn't hear him. When he told me about how he'd as good as exiled Droll and Draconian... They were his best friends, Dave! They were like you and Jade and John to him! I ruined that."

"We're gonna have to kill him, you know. All the stuff he's done, he deserves it." He repeated himself, just to make sure she understood. "It's just a game. And the bad guys are evil. Even if they're people. Especially if they're people. People suck."

She nodded, slowly, her cheek brushing his shoulder. "He said he'd kill you and have you stuffed like Jade. He knew he'd killed her dreamself, and he knew it hurt me to hear that. And he thought it was funny."

"See, he's a creep. And the last point, and this is the important one... are you listening closely?"

Another nod.

"There is an open window right over there." Dave rolled his eyes and gave her a little shove. "You don't have to keep doing this. You're not a prisoner anymore. You can literally leave any time you want to, and go back to your tower on the moon and never have to think about this again."

Rose gave a little laugh that turned into a hiccup. "I know."

"Then why are we still talking about this? We could be partying it up in my dream-room right now."

"Because..." She sighed. "Because I have to be here. No, I suppose it isn't that I have to, it's because I am. I don't think I can go back now. At least, not yet."

"Not yet," he repeated flatly. "Don't tell me you actually like being kidnapped. Stockholm Syndrome, or whatever. Are you and Jack a thing now?"

"Yes Dave, Jack and I are a 'thing'. Well done, spotting that."

"Ha ha. But seriously, what the hell. You have had so many chances to be rescued and I'm getting sick of waiting on you."

She had regained most of her composure by now, but her face was still pale. "It's like you said, I'm not a prisoner anymore. When this whole thing started, I was just angry. I didn't know what I was doing, I just wanted to make Jack suffer for what he'd said and done. But now I have power over him; he trusts me. It's an opportunity we may never have again: to weaken our final boss without a fight. I can't waste that."

"Yeah," said Dave, watching her fiddle with the pen. "But you don't want to."

"It's alright. I was just emotional because... Well, honestly that had been building up for a while." She cracked a small smile. "As these things do, with hysterical dames."

"Oh yeah, of course."

"So I think I should stay. Just a little longer, just for that one opportunity. I'll escape before Jade enters the Medium. That can't be more than a few hours away, anyhow."

But hours for Rose's sleeping body could, and already had, amount to days in the twisted spacetime of Derse. And Dave didn't say it, because looking at her eyes he knew she knew. All he responded with was, "You sure?"

"I'm sure. But... Dave?" Her hands tightened unconsciously on the quill again. "Could you stay on Derse with me? I need you to... um... I need you to get me some... ink. For my pen."

"Ink." In his mind's eye, he could recall at least three brand new inkwells sitting atop her desk.

"Yes. It's vitally important to my Zazzerslash."

"Sure," said Dave, because after a conversation like that it was impossible not to read the undertones of that simple request. I'm scared, and I just need you to come back once in a while and remind me that I'm not alone. "Of course, Lalonde. Dave the wonderdog, at your service, ready to fetch you pointless junk."

"You should go. I think they're sending someone to clean up the desk."

He released her reluctantly and returned to the window, hearing her call out behind him, "Put the grating back on your way out. Jack and I are having regular therapy sessions now, and I'd hate for him to notice."

He leaped down to the narrow, decorative ledge below, and started slotting the grating back into its grooves in the dark violet wall. "How'd you get him to agree to that?"

"Sleep deprivation is a terrible thing, Strider," was all she answered.

UHNINGED, YESSSSSSS! No better way to start the day!

I adore how you write Rose. Her breakdown felt completely IC, and adds a lot to her character: she's clever and brave, but she's still in way over her head, and now it's all finally sinking in. Dave is perfect as well, and that accidental pesterlog between Jade and Davesprite that everyone keeps quoting really did make me laugh out loud. Long story short: you're awesome!

[Kawa]

So what's this about splitting shit off into a new thread? Were you talking about Population? Does that mean I can't post "The Trial of Gamzee Makara" here?

Or mention that I fixed a very silly bug in what was supposed to be a security measure in the Trollopedia?

Well, fuck that, have a courtroom drama.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

"Ladies and gentlemen, court is now in session."

Gamzee sat in the defendant's chair, his mind buzzing as usual. Terezi was seated next to him, dressed up nice in a black business suit.

"Mister... Makara?" the judge started.

"That's 'Makara', your honorable motherfucker."

"Please don't call me that or I will hold you in contempt of court. Anyway, Mister Makara, you are here for the alleged murder of two fairly popular musicians known best as... 'Shaggy 2 Dope' and 'Violent J'. How do you plead?"

"Guilty as fuck, your honor", came the honest reply.

"Your honor, I would like to plead for insanity", Terezi spoke up.

"You may try."

Karkat, seated in the audience to keep an eye on his matesprit and best worst friend, was somewhat amazed that Terezi was defending in court. She had taken to Earth justice quite rapidly... or was it just because it was Gamzee on the line?

"Thank you your honor. My client is usually a highly volatile person, but managable when he's on something. You may notice the glazed look in his eyes and the relaxed posture. Does this man, as he is now, strike you as capable of bloody murder?"

The judge cast an inquisitive look at Gamzee. Gamzee smiled and waved back.

"I can't quite say that he does, but I've had plenty people in that chair you would never even consider. Tell me, Miss Pyrope, what exactly is the defendant on?"

"That's 'Pyrope', your honor."

"Stupid aliens and their stupid names", the judge mumbled under his breath. Terezi's ears twitched.

"Please don't say that or I will hold you in contempt, your honor. Heheheh. Anyway, he's on sopor slime."

"And what, pray tell, is that?"

"It's a little complicated to explain but I'll try. We Alternians have an incredibly bloody past, and we tend to have violent... nightmares about it", Terezi rattled, almost saying "daymare" instead but dodging extra confusion. "Sopor slime helps to keep us calm in our sleep, though we've been working on alternatives since we've almost ran out. The main thing is, it's not supposed to be ingested, like delicious paint chips."

Terezi paused to lick her lips.

"Excuse me, umm... my client is known to bake sopor slime pies. Where he first got that idea I don't know, but it turned out the pies were keeping him sedate."

"An interesting story, miss. Now tell me, was the defendant on sopor during the murders?"

"Gamzee?"

"Motherfuck yeah!"

"Now, if the defendant is harmless when under the influence, how could he have committed the murders if he was at the time?"

"Your honor, everybody has his or her limits. Before we arrived, my client was sent a link to your Earth Youtube website. Specifically, a music video made by the victims. Before you ask, he was sopored up at the time."

The judge tried to imagine the scenario.

"Continue."

"We were all very surprised to see our pillar of chill flip his lid like that. He screamed something about blasphemy, stormed out of the room and returned later with a fresh pie. One slice missing."

"Hold on a minute. If this 'sopor slime' is rare, where did the defendant get a fresh pie?"

"From his sylladex, your honor. Nobody knows how many pies he has."

"Not even the defendant himself?"

"Motherfucking MiRaClE Modus, your honor."

"And you had calmed down by then, Mister Makara?"

"Heavily, yuron."

"Miss Pyrope?"

"My point is, that to make my client enraged enough to A, burn off his sopor buzz in seconds and B, plan and execute a double clownicide--"

"Aaaaall across America", Gamzee overlapped, waving his arms.

"--whatever set him off like that must've been the worst thing ever. To him."

"So, your main point is that the defendant was acting out of insanity?"

"Basically? Yes, your honor. As long as he's sopored up, he's completely harmless."

"I'm willing to judge the defendant not guilty, but I worry for the future."

"Because we're running out of sopor slime, your honor?"

"Yes. What will happen then?"

"Nothing, your honor. Like I said, we don't know how many pies my client still has, and to tell you the truth..."

Terezi grinned at the judge as she playfully scratched Gamzee's scalp.

"...he's not on sopor right now."

The audience reacted in various sorts of shock. Some screamed, some started to get up to run away. Karkat laughed to himself.

"It's weed."



And so, Gamzee Makara got away with killing the ICP by being stoned off his ass.

That was hardly drama.

[JudgeDeadd]

Guys, I absolutely don't mean to be ruining your fun here or anything, but - might it be a good idea to shift the troll-baby/hybrid stuff to its own thread, like we did with the SCP and Trollcops stuff?

Yeah, this. It's kind of starting to overtake everything in this thread, and other fics are getting buried :\

Uh. Yeah. Agreed. =/

YOU HAVE MY SWORD



Yeah, as much as I like your series, Kawa (including the newest installment), its greatness hardly can be accommodated by this wimpy little thread. It deserves some room!

[Kawa]

I'll be off, then.

[Kassiopeia]

@Red Pen Aaa that was wonderful. How was I unaware of this glorious thing before now? I'm gonna have to go and read the rest when I have a moment

[Kawa]

Population goes here now.

[sebastian]

I don't think it is necessary start a new thread every time someone start a series. What about the striderfics then? Sionnan made at least three times as fics as kawa made for Population, should he made his own theead, too? In the long term it will only make fanfics harder to find when they will be spread in a dozen threads rather than in just one.

[Decker]

The thing is that other people have made fics in the population series. Not just one or two either. It's kind of a group project now.

[lucidSeraph]

The thing is that other people have made fics in the population series. Not just one or two either. It's kind of a group project now.

Yes, this. Only one person writes the Strider fics, and that's Sionnan. Furthermore, most of the commentary on those goes for only about a page. The Population fics, though, have multiple authors, and the cruft surrounding them can take up three pages of people talking about JUST that.

*e*

Thanks, Sionnan, Kass, and Wig for your comments I'm glad to see that my obsessive filling of firefox with multiple tags of pages from the comic and entries from various wikis actually paid off x_X; Hopefully it will pay off EVEN MOAR in the future.

I have a lot to do today, but I am kind of inspired right now. We'll see how it goes. :3

[Kawa]

the cruft surrounding them can take up three pages of people talking about JUST that.

Exhibit A: Dylan's virginity.

[Summergale]

The Knight and the Witch: Chapter 3
One, Two

show spoiler

hide spoiler

She's shown into the ward quietly. It's still early, and all Jade can hear is the desolate beeping of machines, underlaid with the steady breathing of the patients those machines support. The nurse who introduced herself to Jade as Aradia just leads her along the corridor, until finally she stops at a set of curtains.

"He's still sleeping off the surgery," Aradia murmurs. "He should come round soon."

Jade steps into the little closed-off space and just. Stops.
Dave lies there under the covers, deeply asleep. He looks so small, so frail, it contradicts so fiercely with Jade's image of him - the brave Knight, the bravest one of them all except for maybe John. His hair is ruffled and messy and there's traces of blood where he collapsed in the club. She sits beside the bed and strokes his hair softly back into position. He's not wearing his glasses, she muses, and glances around. They're lying on the bedside table, neatly folded. There's blood on those, too, and Jade wipes them clean with a small handkerchief, before setting them back onto the table and just waiting. It feels like hours.

He dreams of heat and clockwork, of light and rain, of frost and frogs, of wind and shade. He dreams of it all and for a moment SBURB has him back in its grasp like a fly in a web. He sees Bro with a sword in his chest, Davesprite's pendant bloodied and broken, but then he sees John holding hands with Rose, or he remembers having a snowball fight with Jade, all the happy times woven amongst the bad like threads of gold in an ebon tapestry. Voices surround him, urgent and sometimes not so quiet, barking commands and there's a constant fiery pain in his gut that he wishes would go away. It's ironic, he muses. The Strider family seems to be drawn towards knives and swords to the stomach or chest. It keeps happening. Pain, then a sudden calm that makes him wonder if he's dead.

But he isn't.

Scarlet eyes flutter open and Jade beams. Dave's chest rises and falls rapidly and he blinks in the sudden dark. At least there's some light here; it isn't the void of his nightmare dream.
"Dave!" she whispers, and the Knight turns his head ever so slightly. A smile crosses his face.
"Sup?" he croaks. Jade gives a breathless laugh.
"You... You're asking me that? Dave, you were stabbed!" she says quietly, her expression turning all at once to worry and fear. "I... I thought..."

Tears well in her eyes and this time she can't stop them. She would hug him - wants to, so badly - but he's probably still sore. Instead her hands wrap around one of his and she just smiles. It's a fragile smile, soft and awkward and she probably looks a right state, but he's alive. He's alive.
"I'm okay now," he mumbles. "Patched me up, didn't they?" he continues, voice wobbling ever so slightly.
"Y-Yeah. They did," Jade whispers, and finally settles on something to do.

She leans forward and gently kisses Dave on the cheek. She pulls away and quickly turns a shade of red that would put an angry Karkat to shame. It felt like the right thing to do, and who cares otherwise?

Author's Notes

show spoiler

hide spoiler

aaaaaaaugh this was so difficult to write. It feels ridiculously short and awkward and fuuuuuuuuugh I can't do it. The next chapter will be the epilogue though.

also dave/jade remains my favourite pairing amongst the kids

[Ganato]

The Knight and the Witch: Chapter 3

also dave/jade remains my favourite pairing amongst the kids

Agreed.
Continue the good work.
-thumbs up-

[egregiousBass]

I hope there's at least one metallica-knowing person out there.

Also God bless paint.net

You are now the wayward vagabond.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

In a different session.

In the past.

In the future.

You've recently come across a precarious complex of buried ruins. You're not sure it's a complex, really. You spent the last five minutes staring at something that popped up on a screen.



No seriously stop that.

He seems familiar somehow. You are reminded of stories you heard long ago. This human is important. Very important.

Yes, you remember now.



He appears only vaguely aware of your polite presence. For all the etiquette you have demonstrated, he should have shown some in kind. Oh well.

There is much work to be done! Best to start right away.



You are quickly irritated with this human. You decide to blow off some steam by doing a whole lot of shit that we've already seen.

When you return, you stumble upon a most gracious sight.



Sir Cliff is obviously in battle right now. Best not disturb him. Oh my. What is he doing with his hair? Is it some sort of rotary ritualistic intimidation tactic? It reminds you of the windmills of home. Mesmerizing.

Wait, what's happening? Where's the camera pointing to?



Oh, him. If memory serves, he is the Knight of Breath. Totally a waste of time. Just look at that highly abrasive piece of clothing.

This will not do. He is stealing Mister Cliff's thunder.



Bah, it's not working. He's too caught up in the moment to heed any of your commands.

You reach for the impoliteness key, but your finger slips onto Tab, forwarding the observed scene one year into the future. Idiot.

You see yet another individual sitting by a table with your dear own Cliff. Ah yes, the Page of Hope. The view appears to wobble slightly. That's because they're inside a moving vehicle, but you wouldn't know because you're a penniless peasant.

They are drawing cards, it seems. Cliff pulls up an ace of spades. This strikes you as ominous for some mentally surpressed reason. It appears your mentee has won. What now?

Oh! You understand now. He is the King of Bass, and has just won the right to his quest bed. Well, come on then. You command him to claim the page's resting place. And so he does, although you wouldn't know because you can't lip read.

Well, you're not keen on watching humans sleep for the rest of the day, so what now? You can't imagine that something would require your immediate attention, so it is best you tend to your mayoral duties.





What what WHAT?

Did the driving human just inexplicably fall asleep?! Foolish fool!

Oh no, the moving wheel dohickey is taking a tumble! The humans within must be highly perturbed. You dare not imagine what they are going through.

The gigantocarriage comes to a halt. The humans' trial has ended. Every one of them appears to be relatively unharmed...except...except...



The screen turns to static. The King of Bass is dead. The tragedy is overwhelming.

You are absolutely sure he is forever gone. Every single instance of him.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

CLIFF: Dude! You gotta teach me, seriously.
JADE: nope! extra arms for me only :D

This is the dude by the way. Now I should get back to writing paradox coolkid shenanigans Px

[Kawa]

Okay that was just...

[AppleTree]

The Knight and the Witch: Chapter 3
One, Two

show spoiler

hide spoiler

She's shown into the ward quietly. It's still early, and all Jade can hear is the desolate beeping of machines, underlaid with the steady breathing of the patients those machines support. The nurse who introduced herself to Jade as Aradia just leads her along the corridor, until finally she stops at a set of curtains.

"He's still sleeping off the surgery," Aradia murmurs. "He should come round soon."

Jade steps into the little closed-off space and just. Stops.
Dave lies there under the covers, deeply asleep. He looks so small, so frail, it contradicts so fiercely with Jade's image of him - the brave Knight, the bravest one of them all except for maybe John. His hair is ruffled and messy and there's traces of blood where he collapsed in the club. She sits beside the bed and strokes his hair softly back into position. He's not wearing his glasses, she muses, and glances around. They're lying on the bedside table, neatly folded. There's blood on those, too, and Jade wipes them clean with a small handkerchief, before setting them back onto the table and just waiting. It feels like hours.

He dreams of heat and clockwork, of light and rain, of frost and frogs, of wind and shade. He dreams of it all and for a moment SBURB has him back in its grasp like a fly in a web. He sees Bro with a sword in his chest, Davesprite's pendant bloodied and broken, but then he sees John holding hands with Rose, or he remembers having a snowball fight with Jade, all the happy times woven amongst the bad like threads of gold in an ebon tapestry. Voices surround him, urgent and sometimes not so quiet, barking commands and there's a constant fiery pain in his gut that he wishes would go away. It's ironic, he muses. The Strider family seems to be drawn towards knives and swords to the stomach or chest. It keeps happening. Pain, then a sudden calm that makes him wonder if he's dead.

But he isn't.

Scarlet eyes flutter open and Jade beams. Dave's chest rises and falls rapidly and he blinks in the sudden dark. At least there's some light here; it isn't the void of his nightmare dream.
"Dave!" she whispers, and the Knight turns his head ever so slightly. A smile crosses his face.
"Sup?" he croaks. Jade gives a breathless laugh.
"You... You're asking me that? Dave, you were stabbed!" she says quietly, her expression turning all at once to worry and fear. "I... I thought..."

Tears well in her eyes and this time she can't stop them. She would hug him - wants to, so badly - but he's probably still sore. Instead her hands wrap around one of his and she just smiles. It's a fragile smile, soft and awkward and she probably looks a right state, but he's alive. He's alive.
"I'm okay now," he mumbles. "Patched me up, didn't they?" he continues, voice wobbling ever so slightly.
"Y-Yeah. They did," Jade whispers, and finally settles on something to do.

She leans forward and gently kisses Dave on the cheek. She pulls away and quickly turns a shade of red that would put an angry Karkat to shame. It felt like the right thing to do, and who cares otherwise?

Author's Notes

show spoiler

hide spoiler

aaaaaaaugh this was so difficult to write. It feels ridiculously short and awkward and fuuuuuuuuugh I can't do it. The next chapter will be the epilogue though.

also dave/jade remains my favourite pairing amongst the kids

Lemme go crawl back to the horn pile. DavexJade is one of my fav. pairings. I'm looking forward to the epilogue!&lt;G3

[JNJ]

-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

GG: are you guys friends yet??
TG: weep, john
TG: weep and i will cradle you in my wings and whisper sweet nothings in your ears
TG: whoa okay wrong chat window
GG: .........

-- gardenGnostic [GG] blocked turntechGodhead [TG] --

shhh...only dreams now.
But really, that was very funny. Unhinged maintains a delicate balance between funny and serious.

a courtroom drama

"The defendant doesn't even know."

The Knight and the Witch: Chapter 3

Swords do keep happening, now that you mention it.
Wait, Aradia? HMMMM...

I hope there's at least one metallica-knowing person out there...

Not me, but I still think the whole thing was rather amusing.

[Graven_Image]

More post-Sburb mythology.

A War of Shadow and Flame

show spoiler

hide spoiler

The Thief had brought evil into the world through the murder of a king.

And so the world became poisoned.

Dark thoughts crept into the minds of the people, a fact which the Rogue took note of. He heard the strings of dissent play between pairs and groups, and resolved not to ingratiate himself with the worse off of them.

Evil seeped into the hearts of men and women, which caused the Seer no end of distress. The beauty she had loved so dearly was being destroyed, replaced with the gaudy frills of pride, the nauseating drippings of gluttony, and the lean wolfishness of greed.

The Thief was villified throughout the known world. No city would harbor her, nor risk inviting death to its door by imprisoning her. She eventually had to flee to the east, as had the Mage of Shadow before her. The Knight of Doom, betrothed to the Thief and shunned much like she had been, set out to find her.

They were not heard from for many years.

Almost a decade later, a great cloud bank loomed on the horizon. Genesis and all her neighboring cities had joined together in a single nation, ruled over by the Prince. He saw the shadows cast by the clouds, and knew that the Mage had returned.

He led a force of Peacekeepers out to greet her, each the most elite among their peers.

The shadow rose up in the form of the Mage, who had grown powerful in her years of solitude in the east.

She spoke of the Thief and the Knight, both forced from their homes by the race they begat. The Thief had only acted in self-preservation, she said, and the Knight could not help knowing the end of things. The end of the golden age, she said, was brought about not by them, but by shortsightedness and hubris.

The Prince rebuked the Mage, recounting the many achievements they had made during their time as a nation. Could a shortsighted people accomplish such lasting victories as they had? Could hubris fester in such a rightfully proud race of creations such as these?

The Mage merely smiled. She told the peacekeepers around the Prince of a war in Heaven, of forces of light and darkness that the Creators had to bring into harmony before they could set about making the world and everything in it.

And letting the shadows gather around her, she spoke of the Prince. Could those without vision of the future truly be victorious? Could pride take over in those whose victory was so complete?

She said it must be so, for it was the Prince who was the most shortsighted and prideful of the Creators, and it was he who had led them to success.

Deeds, she said, meant nothing, when one is doomed to destroy oneself.

And she disappeared.

The Prince's fury rose that day. A great aura of fire surrounded him, burning up the ground he trod on and tinging the air around him with smoke.

He swore vengeance upon her for her words. Friend or not, he swore that none should speak to a ruler such as that and not face the consequences.

He could not finish his threats, however, for vengeance proved to be the Mage's.

Living shadow sprung out of the ground where the clouds threw darkness. An army of shades, each hungry to avenge its master upon the race she had been ousted by.

And thus did the War of Shadow and Flame begin.

[Katrika]

Bluh bluh bluh, dumb fic.



Bardic

show spoiler

hide spoiler

They’d all thought he was just a sopor-riddled addict. A good guy, they’d hasten to add, only mostly they wouldn’t, really. After all, they didn’t hurt his feelings. His feelings were never hurt. You could heap mountains of verbal abuse on him and he’d still call you his best friend.

Even the ones who’d attest to his easygoing nature and friendliness would bite their lips when the subject of his intellegence or competence came up. And then they’d get distracted by a trollian message, or suddenly remember something they had to do, and somehow the subject would never come up again.

They’d all thought that, and they all couldn’t have been more wrong.
----
It all started when Kanaya took away his pie. Normally she’d have let him be, but Aradia had just exploded, and tensions were high. She’d seen him grab for a pie, and without thinking, she’d grabbed it and stormed away to dispose of it. It had struck her as disrespectful to Aradia, somehow, and she hadn’t realized or cared that his modus would only produce a pie on an hourly basis.

For the first time in 4 sweeps, Gamzee Makara was well and truly sober.

He looked around the room with unclouded eyes, and took a deep breath.

And then he screamed.

As he screamed, he clawed at his arms, drawing blood. He banged his head against the table, trying in vain to drown out the music that sang through every fiber of his being.

Too much. Too much too much too much too much. He had to scratch-scream-hit-bleed drown it out, outoutOUT-
----
45 minutes later, the Bard of Madness hummed happily to himself and drew a bloody smiley face on his monitor, blissfully unaware of the destruction in the room around him. He licked the last traces of sopor off his mouth. It was nice and quiet at last.

Nobody would ever take his pie away again

[Graven_Image]

I swear, every time Well, the last two times I put one of my post-sburb things, I got immediately followed up by you, Katrika.

It was properly creepy, as a fic on madness deserves to be.

[SkaianRedeemer]

You know, there's a section in HiHH where Rose asks Kanaya about the relationship between members of two opposing relationships (the relationship between someone's Matesprit and Kismesis, etc), and Kanaya gives a sort of a not-answer because the question is a bit too pertinent, but now I wish I had answered because the idea of KarkatJade while KarkatJohn is far too entertaining to me right now.

Cross Quadrants

show spoiler

hide spoiler

TT: If I help John stay alive as his auspistice would you at least consider--
TG: im not gonna touch that shitheads last quadrant with a twelve foot pole
TG: probably just turn him on at this rate fuck
TT: You know you like it.
TG: rose seriously fuck off i dont have time for this pole touching bullshit
TT: Phallic puns, how Freudian of you, Strider.
TG: no no dont you fucking start
TG: besides isnt that your job with nubhorns and egbert now i mean cmon
TT: Yes, you'd like that, wouldn't you.
TG: yeah human guy/human girl/alien shitmonkey has been my secret fetish all along
TG: it makes perfect psychological sense if youve lived all your live surrounded by puppets
TG: its my goddammed dream johns living out there rose
TT: Should I be concerned that you didn't want to swap out me for Jade in that comparison?
TG: hell no i love being psychoanalyzed while im macking it to a lady and my worst troll homeboy
TG: thats why i cant be his new bestest friend after all because youve got to be worst frenemies to be in these weird ass clubbed relationships and if i dont hate the bastard i have to toss you out like yesterdays biosibling/not-sibling trash
TT: Oh, are we doing the sibling thing?
TG: hell no call me your brother and ill be fucking pissed i swear to god
TG: first off i only had one sibling and id like to respect that thanks
TG: second off neither are john and jade so like why
TG: third if i was in the market id have said it already and id get right down to westermarking all over you like a pair of chinese child spouses
TG: but im not so i wont because youre cooler as my friend than my sister
TT: Thank you, I think.
TT: I also value the work we’ve already put into our established bond more than needs biological enforcement.
TG: damn straight
TT: Strider, it has to be asked, but is that rambling about alien threesome and non-siblings this your incredibly obtuse way of propositioning to me?
TG: what
TG: hell no
TG: rose anyone could tell you that i have the flirting ability of a five year old
TT: I was going to say something to that effect, yes.
TG: so my obtuse way of getting up in your jibe goes more like me telling tavros to tell egbert to tell jade to tell nepeta that i like your fruity headband
TG: while pulling your fucking hair or some shit
TG: a few years later we all grow up and you realize youre more attracted to burly fuckers like equius so i go on a life-affirming series of antics to become a coolkid and win you over
TG: couple fucking teen choice awards right there
TT: I know you’re enjoying being off in your own world over there, Strider, but I should point out that you’re pretty much sounding exactly like the kind of guy that would moirail for Karkat.
TT: Hanging out in the middle of the night planning the perfect romcom that’ll make you both household names.
TT: He could be John Hughes and you could be all of his leading men.
TT: I’m getting sick just thinking of it, so it must be True Pity.
TG: rose dont make me say it again i have no desire for any of this
TG: the only romantic endeavours dave strider is interested are one that was set out days ago and just making sure karkat doesnt break jades little heart because im fucking first in line for that
TT: You don’t think that should go to his kismesis?
TG: fuck john i have a sword
TT: Well so long as I’m second I don’t care who goes first.
TG: im glad were all equally confident in this little fling of theirs
TT: I’m confident in Jade and Karkat as a matter of fact.
TT: I just think that if things went bad even for minor reasons Karkat’s reaction would be more over the top than I’d want for any of you, much less Jade.
TG: exactly
TT: Now what was this about your other romantic endeavour?
TG: oh hell no youre not beating down my door about that either
TG: i already told you i dont do the psychoanalyzing crap
TT: Unless you’re making out with your therapist.
TG: i stand by that
TG: youd put up with my sort of shit if you were making it with me i think
TT: I put up with your shit now. I think if I was kissing you’d I’d just prefer you shut up for a while.
TG: nah youd totally be all over it
TG: id keep rambling on and on and youd know youd love it
TT: So I guess you’re not going to tell me about your secret, days-ahead-of-time plans?
TG: not a rats ass i dont spill secrets over the internet
TG: and i dont think youve got it in you to cross the lab and find out
TG: and thatd mean leaving john and karkat so and i dont think youve got it in you to split from your newfound threesome
TT: Hold on, Nepeta wants something.
TG: no its cool you dont have to confront the truth
TG: youre totally club-whipped
TG: like poor kanaya youll be there from dusk till dawn filling out all their problems and youll love every minute of it
TT: …
TG: then jade will come over with her little smoochy face and make john go all feral and shit
TG: and youll be like “tell me about your problems” and egbert will go spilling his tears out all through the night about how his boyfriend never has any TIME for him and its just not FAIR
TG: and youll be thinking all “fucking goldmine” getting off on this poor saps problems until the sun comes up
TG: like a jungian vampire
TT: Are you just going to keep talking or are you going to explain why Nepeta walked up to me and pulled my hair?
TG: well i dont fucking know
TG: thats not what i told tavros to say at all
TG: but thats the fucking telephone game for you i bet you would have a field day with that too
TG: talking about all the weird shit people do when they dont quite understand what they heard
TG: put on a filter of human vs troll psychology and itll be the best week youve ever had wouldnt it lalonde

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] is now an idle chum! --

-------------------------

“...hi.”

“Hey. Nice expression.”

“It’s confusion. Nice internet rambling."

“Thanks, it’s nerves.”

Rose pulled up a chair.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

OH SHIT! DOUBLE SHIPPING REACHAROUND!!

show spoiler

hide spoiler

My week-long migraine must be clearing, considering I only intended to write the first five lines of that and post it on Romart. But I defy even the most headached of you to just leave Dave talking about “pole touching bullshit” unattended. Defiance!

...so I guess I, as well as Kanaya, am incapable of talking about the relationship between two opposing quadrants. Hm.

[Wigmund]

I'm confused Skaian, what the hell's up with Dave? Is he stressed over Karkat & Jade?

[apocalypticCritic]

I think Dave is ironically shipping himself with Rose while also avoiding getting shipped as Karkat's Matesprit.

[SkaianRedeemer]

Yeah, sort of. Bleh.

[Graven_Image]

Troll romance sure is weird.