MSPA Fanfiction IV

[Graven_Image]

ByB I think I may have to legit start shipping 'Rezi - Jade now.

o.o

I think I may have to as well.

Terezi is troll of the year. All years.

[Altum]

Ryavis and BYB, holy shit. Well-played you guys.

EDIT: although in re: Ryavis' Author's Note, I'll raise a possibility that may redeem the more warm-n-fuzzy grubfics.

If trolls originally hatched and raised their own young, and the lusus/Mother Grub/Imperial Drone symbiosis is something artificial or developed relatively late in the trolls' civilization, maybe to facilitate their farflung adult empire, then the underlying parental instincts might still be there, even though in the normal course of things an adult troll might never see a grub. It wouldn't entirely overcome the cultural difference in mindset, but it would make things less totally... alien.

[Graven_Image]

Indystuck

Chapter 11

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OPEN PESTERLOG

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incognitoInstigator began pestering neckwearAficionado

NA: Hello.
NA: I'm sure you're very angry at me.
NA: And rightfully so.
NA: But I stand by my statement that what you are mad at us for had to happen.
NA: Also, if you do not close this window right now, my future self is going to wire so many viruses into your computer from your future that it will literally explode.
NA: Seriously, he can do that.
II: ...

incognitoInstigator ceased pestering neckwearAficionado

NA: Smart man.

The villagers were worried, as they had every right to be.

A meteor? Headed for their island? Someone fire up the helicopter.

"It- HEY!"

The crowd quieted down at the sound of Curly's bellowing.

"It's alright. I have every confidence that Quote and the other Guardians of the Island will protect us like they always have. Does anyone here dispute that they've kept us safe in the past?"

No one said a word.

As she continued her attempt at controlling the crowd, Quote was inside another house, one historically owned by the late mimiga Arthur.

Inside were he, a large toaster-lunchbox-thing, an old, graying woman, and a young blue-haired girl, floating above the scene.

"So... the island is again in danger?" asked the woman.

Quote nodded.

"Well, what can we do to stop it?"

"Well, isn't it obvious?" asked the box-thing. "I'll simply jump up to the meteor and PUSH IT out of the way! HUZZAH!"

He punctuated this last exclamation with a pose that would have no doubt looked brave on a more humanoid frame. On him, it simply looked idiotic.

"Only you, Balrog," said the floating girl, "would concieve of brute force against an asteroid. You can no more change its course than move this very island."

"But," said Curly as she walked in, "we do have a plan. Right, Quote?"

He just nodded again.

OPEN PESTERLOG

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mischeviousRobot began pestering viridianVoyager

MR: Viridian, I think I have a problem
MR: Talking
VV: To women?
MR: No
MR: Just talking
MR: Out loud
VV: Oh, this again.
VV: Just patch me through. I can take care of it.

"Uhh. Hello?"

There was a pause.

"Quote?"

"No, this is a friend of his. My name's Viridian. I think this 'plan' of yours wasn't fully informed."

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craftyMiner began pestering newGuy

CM: hey man are you gonna come save quote or what
NG: NOT THE TIME
NG: GHOSTS
CM: oh well
CM: carry on

craftyMiner ceased pestering newGuy

"...So, where will this 'game' take us?"

"I don't know. Neither of the sprites we've gotten so far have been willing to tell us."

"And what makes you think that the sprite we get will be different?"

"Well, we're going to be smart about the prototyping, for one. Meat Boy got a version of his girlfriend who was half something that's been trying to kill him for years. The Kid got a spike, which can't talk. We're going to need a more sympathetic prototyping."

"Well, what would you suggest?"

"Umm, isn't there that dead guy you guys are always talking about? Arthur or something? We could dig him up, use his ghost to help us out!"

There was a silence.

"What?"

The old woman stepped forward.

"I don't know how much of Mimiga society you have been informed of, Mister Viridian, but 'prototyping' this... whatever-it-is with a dead Mimiga is not only likely to get you lynched, but also nearly impossible."

"Okay, now it's my turn to not understand."

"Mimigas disintegrate into a fine powder on death," Curly said. "What little is left of Arthur would probably be indistinguishable from the rest of the dirt in his grave. And even if you did try to dig him up, I can't imagine it would go over very well with the Mimigas."

OPEN PESTERLOG

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MR: Wait a second
MR: WAIT A SECOND
MR: I have the best idea
MR: I can take it from here
VV: Alright.
VV: Try not to need my help again, I'm in a bit of a rush.

viridianVoyager ceased pestering mischeviousRobot

[Kerensky287]

graven i'm gonna need you to stop posting right as i finish these stories

it makes it take longer for me to get around to reading them
(EDIT: Oh man, Tim is the best character in this and every story.)

@ByB: Yessssssss! There isn't nearly enough interaction between Jade and Terezi, both in canon and in fanon. Thank you for pitching in to resolve this grievous error.

@Kass: I love that Vriska was wearing her slutty fairygown at the time she and Rose somehow managed to create a hybrid ectobaby. I'm trying to come up with a contraception joke but I almost think it speaks for itself.

@Ryavis: Excellent job. I think that even without the whole "Trolls haven't had parents for any of their recorded history" thing, Kanaya would find motherhood very difficult. There is a lot to get agitated about.


Anyway, I'm gonna go straight back to narcissism and post another chapter of my thing.

SBURB FORTRESS

Chapter 3

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You are the BLU PYRO. You love FIRE in all of its forms. As a result, you have grown to be a professional firestarter, so to speak. At this point in time most of the FIREs you start use humans as fuel. They are on the RED team in general, though, and REDs are completely acceptable prices to pay to bring more delicious FIRE into the world.

FIRE loves and sometimes it loves too much, and your past run-ins with excessively compassionate FIRE have led you to wear a protective suit for your own safety. The suit covers every inch of your body and actually provides some protection against the NON-COMBUSTIBLE methods used by some of your less civilized opponents.

Your current loadout includes your beloved FLAMETHROWER; your SHOTGUN (which you mostly use against opponents who love FIRE as much as you); and your FIRE AXE, which you ordered when you heard the name. You were very disappointed in the product when it arrived.

Like your compatriots, you speak in an almost identical manner to the way you type - in your case, you type in a way that is incomprehensible due to the restraints of your suit. Or if you had been typing that yourself, it is iincxokmkreewhjwenmsibler duywer gto gfthje rewsdtrsaoinmtrsd oifd yoiure sdauitr.,

Your chat tag is beautifulPetroleum and you hate SPIES with a passion.

You are sitting in HARVEST BASE. Your COMMUNICATOR is beeping. Within line of sight are a SUPPLY CLOSET, several DOORs (to the EAST, WEST and SOUTH), a set of CUPBOARDS where your team members stow their personal belongings, and a COMPUTER SYSTEM.

What do you do?

>INPUT NAME

What is your name?

Invalid input.

What is your name?

Invalid input.

What is your name?

Invalid input.

------

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

"GROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAWWWWWRRRRRRRR!!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

"GROOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWRRRRRRR!!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

"GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRR !!!!!"

-----

What is your gender?

Invalid input. Your options are MALE, FEMALE.

What is your gender?

Invalid input. Your options are MALE, FEMALE.

-----

"GROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR!! !"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHey, what am I screamin' about? I'm the freakin' Scout!"

And so Johnny stopped screaming, nodded approvingly at how thoroughly dry his underwear was, and took out his scattergun. He then proceeded to misjudge the distance between himself and the ogre, firing a hail of flechettes to no real effect. It just pissed the ogre off more.

Ooookay. Flanking seems like a better option. Johnny took off running, part of him hoping that he'd find a return node before he found the ogre again, while the other part just hoped somebody was watching when he finally took the thing down.

Wait a second.

-----

OPEN CHATLOG

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battaSwing started pestering baconEnthusiast.

bS: yo hardhat can ogres use teleport nodes
bE: Kinda busy here.
bP: VBGsaxckj oifdgfd hbuixdxzssyg,m hsdde'sa kinmwe@Q!
bE: Yer gonna have to speak up there, I think there's a problem with the signal.

battaSwing ceased pestering baconEnthusiast and beautifulPetroleum.

OPEN CHATLOG

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battaSwing started pestering betterMedicine.

bS: doc
bS: doc come on man
bM: SCOUT, you are TRYING my PATIENCE! 8I
bS: doc you're a smart guy right
bS: can ogres use teleport nodes
bM: I am NOT A PSYCHIATRIST, your INSANITY will have to be treated ELSEWHERE! D8<
bM: Zis is a house of EXPERIMENTAL MEDICINE however and if you REALLY WANT, I have SEVERAL IDEAS YOU MAY ENJOY!
bM: At least SEVEN of them may result in your DEATH or PERMANENT INJURY HOWEVER! >8D

battaSwing ceased pestering betterMedicine.

OPEN CHATLOG

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battaSwing started pestering beyondSecrecy.

bS: listen up, you backstabbin scumbag
bS: you know all about enemy intelligence and stuff right
bS: maybe you can tell me if ogres can use return nodes
bS: I see you have already entered ze game?
bS: Having not experienced it myself I'm afraid I cannot advise you.
bS: But if I am reading between the lines enough, you are running away again, yes?
bS: Keep doing that. It is always best to use all the resources you have available to you.
bS: If life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Or in your case, run away from the lemons with your tail between your legs.
bS: yo screw you pal!
bS: yo screw you pal!
bS: dammit stop you masked french piece of backstab!
bS: this is scout, rainbows make me cry

battaSwing ceased pestering battaSwing(?).

OPEN CHATLOG

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battaSwing started pestering ??????.

bS: yo can ogres use return nodes
??: GROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
bS: sorry wrong frequency pal

battaSwing ceased pestering ??????.

-----

Johnny hadn't made much progress anyway. He was quick, but the ogre had some seriously long strides. Well, may as well take that Spy's advice, sort of.

Johnny pumped his shotgun once to reload and charged toward the ogre.

Commentary:

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Ugh, now I see what you guys are talking about when you say stuff goes on longer than you want it to. I was hoping to have Scout beat up the ogre this chapter, but the Pyro's intro went on longer than I wanted to, and I wanted to play around with Medic and Spy too.

This color thing is going to turn around and bite me in the ass, I just know it. The issue mostly lies in finding something readable... if I write up the Soldier or Demoman or Sniper and nobody can read their text, I apologize in advance and will try to fix it. But geez, there are only so many shades of blue and green to choose from.... maybe I'm just incompetent at this color-selection thing.

[Metaflare]

Keren

i love this

so much

[egregiousBass]

Finals are draining my creative juices, so here's a little pesterfic. Imagine the game is over and everyone's together on Skaia. And Green Dave is there too for some reason.

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GG: joooohn :D
GG: where are yoouuu?
GG: :o
GG: :|
GG: pesperpesterpesterpesterpester
EB: hey, gimme a break!
GG: :P
EB: so what's up?
GG: how's my little paradox brother doing? >:)
EB: you're calling me little brother now? =P
GG: why not, huh?
EB: last time i checked we were born at the same time!
GG: but that's so boring! and i've always wanted a little brother.
GG: it's all like
GG: i dunno, i just like it!
EB: haha, okay.
EB: well, i'm pretty much just loafing around.
EB: yesterday was tiring...
GG: have you talked with your dad yet?
EB: bluh, i forgot about that.
GG: come on, get to it!
GG: i wanna know when i can move in!! :D
EB: umm...in a little bit =P
EB: hey, why don't you go talk to him sometime?
EB: he's both our dad now, isn't he?
GG: ohmygosh you're right :O
GG: wow, i hadn't even thought of that!
EB: hehe, you're really excited about this.
GG: well yeah! i haven't had family for like a kajillion years
GG: and now suddenly i have you and dad, it's pretty amazing!
GG: even though dad is like amazingly boring
EB: i nak at that comment
GG: :V
EB: but yeah, i'm pretty stoked too, you know =P
EB: sharing a house with both you and dad now
EB: i seemed a bit iffy to me at first
EB: but it actually feels more natural than i'd thought
GG: <3
GG: ALSO
GG: don't you think there's somebody being left out?
EB: you mean someone else we can adopt?
GG: uh-huh!
EB: well, i can think of someone
EB: don't know if that's who you're talking about
EB: but if i'm right, then i think there's a misunderstanding.
GG: :o
EB: i'm not actually serious about casey. sorry if you were looking forward to a niece.
GG: ewww!!! no!
EB: why not? don't be racist, jade.
GG: i mean alternate timeline dave, gog
EB: oh
GG: well?
EB: umm
EB: why?
GG: what do you mean why??
GG: john, he's adorable!
GG: and he gives the best hugs, and and
GG: ohgogiwanttofeedhimsoup :'|
EB: yeah, i acknowledge that =P
EB: but
EB: he's not actually related to us i think?
GG: bluuuuh!
GG: come on john, i didn't know you were so close-minded!
GG: his own timeline is gone, and now he's all alone!
GG: he needs a home!!!
EB: okay, sorry?
EB: look, i understand
EB: but just adding random people to our family just doesn't sit well with me, is all
GG: random?! he's your best friend >:O
EB: ugh, no jade, he's not. our dave is my best friend.
EB: and i think he'd need this more
GG: what, a family? ._.
EB: well, not necessarily
EB: but if dad hooks up with rose's mum it could sort of happen?
EB: ..nah
GG: i still don't see the problem, john!
EB: weeeeell
EB: i don't know if you've noticed, but dave's been really quiet ever since other-him came here
EB: and you know how happy he (other dave) was to see me =P
GG: uh-huh <3
GG: so you're saying our dave is feeling left out?
EB: yeah, i think
EB: i've wanted to talk to him, but sorting out all this family stuff has kept me pretty busy.
GG: john, he's fine >:/
EB: you think?
GG: he's dave motherfunking strider! do you really think such a cool dude couldn't handle it?
EB: no offense jade, but i think i know him a bit better than you do
EB: but i don't know everything that's been going on so i guess i could be wrong
GG: well there definitely is something going on ;)
GG: which is why he can't be my brother, see?
EB: oh
EB: OH
EB: so you want one dave to be your brother and the other as a boyfriend? that's stupid.
GG: ugh, john, i can't believe you said that!
EB: no wait sorry, i didn't mean to say that
EB: it's just
EB: i think you're being a bit careless with all of this!
GG: why, do you think you're the only one who cares?
EB: huh?
EB: of course not, that's not what i meant
GG: well then what do you mean john >:(
GG: i'm getting fed up with your attitude!
GG: you're right, i don't need to talk to you. it's my family as much as it's yours!
EB: wait

-- [GG] has blocked [EB] --


*sigh*


EB: hullo?
TT: Good afternoon.
EB: hi
EB: do you know where dave is?
TT: And here I was thinking you just wanted to talk.
TT: I'm afraid I don't. He isn't any more open with me that he is with you.
TT: Argh. *than
EB: oh
EB: well, it's kind of important i think
EB: so can you do me a favor and track him? =P
TT: If you mean by way of clairvoyance, I can't seem to find him on my crystal ball. That boy likes to be elusive.
EB: d'oh
TT: He was with Jade earlier. Perhaps she might know?
EB: well she blocked me :x
TT: Sibling squabble, hmm?
TT: What appears to be the problem?
EB: it's not really something i want to discuss atm
EB: but it's about the new dave.
TT: Ah, no doubt conflicting with a romantic persuasion?
EB: you know about that? ._.
TT: Dear, everyone knows.
TT: Or at least as far as one out of two constitutes "everyone" by way of statistics.
EB: i don't really know what you're talking about, but can you throw me a bone and get her to talk to me again?
TT: What would you have me say?
EB: tell her i'm sorry about what i said, and that i shouldn't judge, and something about me being her silly little brother maybe?
TT: Received. One reconciliation pending.

GG: hmmmmm
EB: :?
GG: okay, i forgive you >:)
EB: sweet
GG: and i think you may have been right :[
EB: eh?
GG: what you said got me thinking, and dave (strider) was acting pretty weird this morning...
EB: :o
GG: like he wasn't being his usual cool self i guess.
EB: could you be a bit more specific?
GG: i dunno exactly, i was too busy being awestruck by his coolness =P
GG: but he was asking me stuff about you
EB: really?
GG: like "does john still think im cool"
GG: things i really didn't have an aswer for obviously
EB: why couldn't he just ask me?
GG: that's what i thought :/
GG: i tried to cheer him up by praising his badassery
GG: you know, like i usually do
GG: and it just made him more sad :s
EB: oh man
GG: i think he really needs you
GG: so
GG: sorry about how i acted back there :(
EB: it's okay, jade
GG: *huuug*
EB: <3
EB: do you have any idea where he is now?
GG: he only said that he needed some time to think things through (*swoon*)
GG: and that maybe he was gonna ironically imitate some shitty japanese movie or something
EB: huh
EB: did he really say that?
GG: relax, john! that's just his idea of a joke :P
EB: haha, right =P
EB: i think i know where he might be
EB: so i'll go check on him now
GG: bye bye and good luck :)
EB: cya

By the way, I subscribe to altum's IDE.

And I really should read Sburb Fortress sometime, being a TF2 player and all P:

[Wigmund]

Please tell me Spy's tag changes so he has the same acronym as anyone he's talking to.

[apocalypticCritic]

Graven: IDE/Theory: Quote is gonna prototype Arthur's knife, since it contains his spirit.

Also still F-ing love Indystuck.

[sebastian]

A fanfic about a fanfic...

That was so awesome...

Can we have a fanfic about Vriska (and maybe the other trolls) reading other fanfic?

I've always being curious at what could be Vriska's reaction in reading Dead Red Virgo, for example.

[egregiousBass]

Can we have a fanfic about Vriska (and maybe the other trolls) reading other fanfic?

I've always being curious at what could be Vriska's reaction in reading Dead Red Virgo, for example.

TT: Hello there.
TC: wHaT's Up MoThErFuCkEr
TT: Would you like to see my fanfiction?
TT: It's about us.
TC: sOuNdS mOtHeRfUcKiNg AwEsOmE tO mE
TT: http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post4302029
TC: :oD
TC: :o
TC: :|

[sebastian]

A/N
[SPOILER]I'm sorry if this subject matter is overdone.
I just feel that a lot of the stories really miss the mark. Trolls aren't just humans with funny horns. They're aliens. Assuming a Troll is going to happily raise a child without problems, despite lacking the thousands and thousands of years of sociological, psychological, and biological preparation the average human has, just seems absurd. That is where, say, the Population series misses the mark for me (sorry, Kawa).

FWIW I see the Population series as the trolls being "changed" as part of their Reward. To make up a system of mother grub and imperial drones and Lusus to keep their species alive and integrate everything to exist together with a a human society would have been too much even for the Game, so It changed them a little, biologically and psychologically, so that they could raise their children in a more human-like manner.

How much they were changed is left as an exercise for the reader.

[egregiousBass]

FWIW I see the Population series as the trolls being "changed" as part of their Reward.

So their reward is to conform to our superior human culture?

[Wigmund]

I think that's what some of them wanted. It's why human society arose the way it did. They created us, we're reflections of their subconscious desires.
Also, I think the Reward also creates a dominant race the winners can interbreed with so they can create the God-Kings of myth and legend.

[lucidSeraph]

Something of an unexpected problem.

THANK. YOU.

I'll admit, I'm getting tired of all the babbyfic for the reason you mentioned: so much of it completely ignores things like how hard babies are to take care of, and the fact that trolls are trolls. They're not going to be all "d'awww!" about wrigglers, they even mention several times how strange it is that human adults care for children, because troll adults kill children.

So, thank you for finally giving a fresh take on what's starting to be a very, very overdone sort of fic in these parts.

[egregiousBass]

Something of an unexpected problem.

I only just now read that since the writing seemed spotty when I skimmed it before, and wow, this is wonderful. Or maybe that's just because it correlates with mine and Seraph's interpretations. In any case, it's a good counterweight to the delirious amounts of ethnocentrism.

[BlastYoBoots]

Seconded! Absolutely perfect, Ryavis.

I only just now read that since the writing seemed spotty when I skimmed it before...

Spacing paragraphs out stylistically is important; you might want to clean that up, Ryavis. It makes it easier to read, and gives a far better first impression.

<insert rant about colors and bolding here>

[Ryavis]

Ahaha, after rereading it, my old nemesis 'random tense changes' strikes again! I shouldn't write fanfics after midnight so often.

Seconded! Absolutely perfect, Ryavis.
Spacing paragraphs out stylistically is important; you might want to clean that up, Ryavis. It makes it easier to read, and gives a far better first impression.

Yeah, that's probably a good idea too.

FWIW I see the Population series as the trolls being "changed" as part of their Reward. To make up a system of mother grub and imperial drones and Lusus to keep their species alive and integrate everything to exist together with a a human society would have been too much even for the Game, so It changed them a little, biologically and psychologically, so that they could raise their children in a more human-like manner.

It just seems like wasted potential to me! It could have had a neat aspect about the Trolls trying to adapt to a world with no Lusii, where they don't really have to breed because they are so overleveled they can just easily kill any of the Imperial Drones the new Mother Grub spawns, where the majority of the world's inhabitants would find their traditional childrearing method to be a form of neglect.


Oh yeah, and thanks for all of the comments, people!

[Wigmund]

My fics are all extremely tongue-in-cheek. Realism left when the demon puppet showed up and ate everyone. Though the acknowledged difficulty of raising babies is why I included the Guardians (Mr Egbert and Mrs Lalonde) and the exiles, because I couldn't figure out how a bunch of thirteen year old kids and six sweep old members of race that sacrificed its desire to raise kids to go conquer the stars would raise twelve hybrid babies. The best I could acknowledge the trolls' unease was how some of them were freaked out by the hybrids, though I imagined that Karkat, Nepeta, Feferi and possibly Tavros as being the quickest to adapt to what happened since they seem to be the most different socially from regular troll society.

I'll keep writing in the post-game setting I have developed over the past couple of months because I enjoy it. If I was a much better writer I'd include stories about the trolls adapting to being raised by Mr Egbert and Mrs Lalonde (Mrs Egbert in later stories). It would be interesting to write about the troll kids adapting to having someone actually care for them and then as the years pass, start raising their own hybrids and eventually their own children.

And post 1025!

[SkaianRedeemer]

@catharticCarnifex: Hah, yeah, going too far over 2.5k is pushing it around here since Thread 2. Which totally explains why I have never bothered to adapt for it in the slightest. Bluh, bluh, 3000 word story about Squiddlezzzzzzz. Do what you want, just be aware of how it can potentially affect readership. There's always A03 if you're concerned.

@Grubs again: Heck, I don't have much to add to this that Altum hasn't already said. I wrote my Grublings stories because they make me happy, and even then I was fond of sprinkling Troll parenthood with its characteristic cruelties. But I guess I'm more than a little peeved. I don't have anything against Ryavis' fic and I can't speak for Kawa, but in my case this is the kind of feedback I would have appreciated at the time, not weeks after the fact. With its hit count split for chapters, Cold Grublings is my least-read fic, and for feedback least enjoyed. I knew that already, but I figured it was just too long or not appealing. If I had known I was outright adding to the grinding of gears I would have just stopped and saved us all the trouble. Oh well. Done is done for everyone.

@Graven: I love that Quote still can't talk, I was seriously wondering but didn't know if it would ever actually come up!

@egregiousBass: "GG: ohgogiwanttofeedhimsoup :'|" This is The Best Sentiment.

[Graven_Image]

Indystuck

Chapter 12

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Quote pulled out King's blade.

There was another pause.

"You mean you want to prototype the Blade, and try to bring King back?"

He nodded.

"Quote, are you feeling alright...?"

"No, Misery, listen," said Curly. "Back when we were saving the island, King gave him his sword when he died. Sometimes... Sometimes we saw his ghost."

Misery muttered something about superstition.

"I know what I saw!"

"You're not serious. Ghosts are NOT REAL."

"Misery, listen to m-"

"Shut up. I am a wise shadow mage and I know what I am talking about."

Her mother scoffed at this.

"Whatever it was, ghosts aren't real. It was something else outright entirely. It might have been fancy and impressive and all, but it wasn't the figmental storybook claptrap you wanted to make out like it was."

"MISERY!"

Balrog was the one yelling this time.

"I saw it, too. I was on the recieving end of it, if you don't remember. If Curly says King's ghost was helping, I'm inclined to believe her."

"Thank you, Balrog."

"I'm not saying this for your benefit. I knew there was no way you could have beaten me by yourself."

Ha, ha, ha, Balrog. You funny, funny man.

"So... what? We throw the sword in and hope for the best?"

"It's our best shot."

OPEN PESTERLOG

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neckwearAficionado began pestering mischeviousRobot

NA: Are you available?
MR: Not now, Tim
MR: Kinda having a meeting of the minds here
NA: Ah, yes, your Guardian convention.
MR: You've seen the future
MR: How do we do?
NA: I'm afraid I haven't, actually.
NA: But you get the island in safely, so I imagine your, Curly's, Balrog's, Misery's, Jenka's, Steve's, and The Kid's plan goes off without too much trouble.
NA: Also, Mother Q. Mary on a pogo stick, that is a lot of co-conspirators.
MR: Hehe
MR: Yeah, I'm guessing that's our plan
MR: Given the future-knowledge Seal of Approval, I take it
NA: Indeed.
NA: Oh, hang on. Another one of the trolls is picking at me.
MR: Man, they seem to be everywhere today!
NA: Don't worry. This won't last more than two minutes.

OPEN PESTERLOG

show spoiler

hide spoiler

nanoMechanic began pestering neckwearAficionado

NM: what are you doing
NM: letting an island of that size into the game
NM: teleporting an entire city into the incipisphere
NM: this is insanity
NA: Insanity, Iji?
NA: Have you considered, perhaps, that I am the sane member of this conversation?
NM: how do you know my name
NM: who told you
NA: I'm the Wizard of Time, remember?
NA: You told me.
NA: In a version of this timeline I rewound out of.
NM: so i guess you know what i'm about to say
NM: is there no way i can change your mind
NA: None whatsoever.
NA: I think you underestimate how long I've had to think this through.
NA: Everything that will transpire from my perspective and has transpired from yours has gone according to my design.
NM: so you brought this on us knowing what would happen
NA: I'd like to think the ultimate outcome justifies the extraneous consequences.
NM: you
NM: you are a cruel and heartless man
NM: is that all we are
NM: consequences
NA: I'm afraid I'm all out of time.
NA: I have to go bring about what has to be brought about for us to be having this conversation!
NA: So really, if you wanted any chance at a changed future, you shouldn't have started trolling us at all.
NA: You sure botched that, eh?
NA: Ta-ta.

neckwearAficionado ceased pestering nanoMechanic

[BlastYoBoots]

But I guess I'm more than a little peeved. I don't have anything against Ryavis' fic and I can't speak for Kawa, but in my case this is the kind of feedback I would have appreciated at the time, not weeks after the fact.

Nobody is wishing ill on the existence of grubfics! They're cute regardless of which way you take them, and it is intrinsically hard for humans not to imagine their instinctive "daawww" babby response applying to others. (Meaning that, even when we disagree, it doesn't suspend disbelief!)

The more cynical, troll-centric viewpoint is just an unexplored avenue, one for which people have been silently thirsty (without knowing it) since the avalanche of tasty diabetes grubfics. It's nothing you should hold against your efforts so far. :/


(Also, remember Terezi's reaction to Dave's implication of "having sex with a grub in a bucket"? They could be just as protective of their species' young - in canon - but systematically disassociate themselves from personal interaction with them, due to politics/culture. And Sollux does mention pedophiles as being equally reviled by Troll society.)

[arcaneCalligramancer]

@Grubs again: Heck, I don't have much to add to this that Altum hasn't already said. I wrote my Grublings stories because they make me happy, and even then I was fond of sprinkling Troll parenthood with its characteristic cruelties. But I guess I'm more than a little peeved. I don't have anything against Ryavis' fic and I can't speak for Kawa, but in my case this is the kind of feedback I would have appreciated at the time, not weeks after the fact. With its hit count split for chapters, Cold Grublings is my least-read fic, and for feedback least enjoyed. I knew that already, but I figured it was just too long or not appealing. If I had known I was outright adding to the grinding of gears I would have just stopped and saved us all the trouble. Oh well. Done is done for everyone.

Aww! I liked Cold Grublings, just it was a whole lot of characters and the reader was kind of thrown in the deep end with figuring out who raised who and so on.

[egregiousBass]

@egregiousBass: "GG: ohgogiwanttofeedhimsoup :'|" This is The Best Sentiment.

This is where I got it from.

Also, comment dumps like these are appreciated, even though they're dwarfed by the kind that appears in the fan art thread.

And I have nothing against grubfics, or the population series, except when there's sexuality. Because I am Victor McChastitypants.

[Ember]

Ryavis: Ooooh! I like that a lot! I do tend to think that Kanaya would be quite a good mother to an older child, one developed enough to speak and to act somewhat independently, because she's always been the sort drawn to mothering her friends. But a baby? Haha, no, that's going to freak her out.

On the bright side, a Kanaya/Rose ectobiology child is going to be the most precocious little monster ever. But that won't stop the first several years from being really, really rough.

[Kassiopeia]

Nobody is wishing ill on the existence of grubfics! They're cute regardless of which way you take them, and it is intrinsically hard for humans not to imagine their instinctive "daawww" babby response applying to others. (Meaning that, even when we disagree, it doesn't suspend disbelief!)

The more cynical, troll-centric viewpoint is just an unexplored avenue, one for which people have been silently thirsty (without knowing it) since the avalanche of tasty diabetes grubfics. It's nothing you should hold against your efforts so far. :/

Yeah, absolutely. I apologise if I've contributed to any bad feeling - cute babyfic has its place as much as darker xenofiction-type stuff, and honestly they're both about equally far from the canon anyway, so it's not as though anyone should be made to feel bad about their preferences. If you look at the fanart threads, it's perfectly possible for this and these to coexist - they're just different interpretations of the same canon.

(My own tastes will always swing further towards the sci-fi gloom side, but if you enjoy writing/reading the other stuff then hey, more power to you.)