MSPA Fanfiction IV

[TacticGamer]

I just thought of the best thing ever.

Opposite!Eridan should call scientific things "magic" like

"hey bitches look at me i am doing forensic MAGIC"

"troll albert einstein and troll isaac newwton wwere the best magicians evver."

[apocalypticCritic]

I imagine the reason all of Indystuck's sprites have been deadly objects thus far is because they are characters from games. There is nothing but death in store for them.

[JudgeDeadd]

Mr. Bull And Lioness Search Fur the Fountain of Cute

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One day, the pretty kitty was playing deep in the jungle being all cute and cuddly hunting the various creatures of the furest so she could update her shipping walls.

But then, she heard something loud and big crashing through the brush.
"? < *The beautiful lioness pawses and wonders who is coming towards her.*"
"uHH, nEPETA, dO i REALLY HAVE TO DO THIS?"
">( < YES! Now get back into charactpurr!"
"uH, sORRY."

So the brave lioness got up on a big rock and looked intently into the brush trying to see who was coming to visit. She was surprised to see it was her bestest furiend, Mr Bull!
"D < Hello Mister Bull! What brings you into my furest?"
"uHH, i WAS, uM, bORED AND WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU WANTED TO PLAY TOGETHER?"
"? < Why are you purred?"
"uM, eVERYONE ELSE WAS BUSY WITH SOMETHING ELSE AND, uH, kARKAT-"
">:[[ < Karkitty!"
"uH, yEAH, kARKITTY, hE TOLD ME TO GO PLAY WITH YOU BECAUSE HE WANTED US OUT OF HIS HAIR."

The lioness danced with joy that her other bestest furiend cared so much about her that he sent Mr. Bull to play with her. She jumped onto Mr. Bull's horns-
"uH, wATCH OUT, i AM STILL, uH, uNSTABLE ON THESE NEW LEGS."
":33 < *The lioness purrtended that she didn't hear Mr. Bull being out of charactpurr because then she would have to cut him.*
XDD < Shall we go on a quest Mr. Bull?"
"uH, yEAH-"
Mr. Bull pawsed as The Lioness looked at him directly in his eyes and smiled at him with her cutest kitty grin showing him all of her sharp teeth that she used to eat her purrey.
"*mR bULL INDICATES THAT HE'D LOVE TO JOIN HIS LIONESS FRIEND ON A QUEST*"

The lioness jumped off of her furiend's horns and ran to an opening in the jungle.
":33 < Let's go looking fur the Fountain of Cute Mr. Bull!"
"uHH, oKAY, i GUESS."
So the lioness took her furiend's hoof and led him deep into the jungle, looking fur the Fountain of Cute.

Along the way they ran into many interesting and pawsome things. The was so many fun things they did along the way that they couldn't fit it all into one story. So efurryone reading the story just has to wish they were there.

But the mighty lioness decided that she was going to be a great storyteller fur her furiends and tell them efurything that happened along the way.

The furst thing Mr. Bull and Lioness ran into was a great big spider. Normally the Lioness would have other words to describe the Nice Spider, but she was recently told by her bestest bestest furiend, Mr. Musclebeast, she couldn't say those words any more.

The Nice Spider offered to let Mr. Bull sleep in her web, promising not to hurt him and that he would enjoy it, but the Lioness told the Nice Spider that they had to go find the Fountain of Cute.

So the Nice Spider just laughed at them and told them to keep playing their games, which they were more than happy to do. The Lioness had such nice furiends in the furest!

Then the Lioness and Mr. Bull ran across a Silly Goat. But he kept saying bad words, so they decided to keep on going after picking up some nice pies from him.

They ate the pies and then efurrything got really fun as the Lioness and Mr. Bull flew through the sky! It was so much fun! There were so many nice pictures up there and so many purrty colors!

But then, Mr. Bull and the Lioness found themselves in a dark cave. Someone else was there too.
"? < Who's there in the dark? Are you a furiend?"
"Of course you know who it is-" It was Mr. Sadslug! He always liked to hide down here whenever he was sad. Unfurtunately, Lioness couldn't let anyone see what else Mr. Sadslug had to say because he just used too many bad words and Mr. Musclebeast wouldn't like that!

So Mr. Bull and the Lioness continued their quest, but then they found a great big lake. There was so much water there and it was purrty. The Lioness went to get a drink, but was stopped when Mrs. Fish popped up out of the water and said,
")(-ELLO! W)(at are you two up too?"
"uH, wE'RE JUST PLAYING A GAME."
"XDD < We're looking fur the Fountain of Cute! Do you want to join us?"
Mrs. Fish frowned and looked at the other end of the pool where her bestest friend was trying to not fall into the water.
"I'm sorry, but I'm busy trying to teac)( t)(e silly glub )(ow to swim."

The Lioness and Mr. Bull frowned, but they knew their silly friend needed to learn how to swim. So they went on their way.

After a really long journey, they found Mr. Musclebeast! He was playing with his toys in his cave.
":33 < *The lioness silently creeps up on the unsuspecting musclebeast and gets ready to-*"
POUNCEGREET!
"D--> What is the meaning of this f001ishness? Why must you insist on these silly games?"
"( < I'm sorry, Mr. Bull and myself are just looking fur the Fountain of Cute."
Mr. Musclebeast took a long, hard look at Mr. Bull who was trying to find his way out the cave, but the Lioness wouldn't let him leave.
"D--> You know I frown upon you playing games with those-"
":33 < *The Lioness suddenly realized she had somewhere else to look fur the Fountain of Cute! So she grabs Mr. Bull and leads the way deeper into the furest*"

Deep into the jungle they ran, crashing through the brush and making a ton of noise. They were having so much fun!

But then they ran across the nice gardener lady who made sure efurrything worked well in the furest!

"What Are You Two Doing Here In My Quarters?"
":33 < Hello! We're looking fur the Fountain of Cute!"
The nice gardener looked over at Mr. Bull and asked him the same question.
"uH, yEAH, wE'RE ON A QUEST."
The gardener laughed and then stood up and walked away from the purrty thing she was working on. A dress? Fur who? The silly girl with the nice kitty that she liked to talk to? So many things to put on the wall later.
"Well, If You Two Are On A Quest, Then I Suggest You Look Elsewhere For Your Reward.
As You Can See, I Am Busy At This Time."

So with heavy hearts, the Lioness and Mr. Bull left the nice gardener lady alone. But they then found themselves face to face with Karkitty! Karkitty wanted to play as well as he screamed and said so many naughty things!

It was then the Lioness realize that the Fountain of Cute was not a fountain, but a purrson! It was Karkitty she was looking fur!

So Mr. Bull went back to his home while she and Karkitty went to her lair and played other games >:33

A/N:
[spoiler]Oh god, I was pushing it with this story. Don't report me anyone!

Couldn't stop laughing, good job. I loved this.
But

The silly girl with the nice kitty

That's an insult!!!1!
BAN WIGMUND, THAT DEPRAVED INSULTER

[horosphere]

Okay, so... is "characters from some other story play a dysfunctional game of Sburb" a thing now? If so then... I kinda had to do this.

a hellish crossover

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{ devilishDiva [DD] is now questioning maleficMonarch [MM] }
DD: Hey.
DD: Prince!
DD: Oh, prince~ ♥
DD: Priiiiiince...
DD: ...
DD: DAMMIT WHERE ARE YOU THIS IS IMPORTANT!!
MM: ...WHAT.
MM: you had better not be wasting my time.
DD: Nah! I have something you need to do!
MM: you... have something... i need to do.
DD: Yep!
MM: ...
MM: aren't you forgetting something?
MM: something kinda important?
DD: Hmmm.
DD: Nope! Pretty sure I'm not.
MM: oh well then let me remind you.
MM: I'M IN CHARGE AROUND HERE, REMEMBER? YOU WORK FOR ME!
MM: YOU DON'T GET TO TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO DO!
DD: Hahaha!
DD: You're so cute when you're angry!
MM: ...
MM: ugh... okay, fine. whatever. spit it out.
DD: We're going to play a video game!
MM: ...a video game.
MM: how is this supposed to be important?
DD: I'm soooooo glad you asked~ ♥
DD: I found it in a meteor that landed in the Stellar Graveyard. I don't know where it came from, but there's some sort of vast, mysterious power sealed inside it...
MM: ...vast, mysterious power, you say? hm.
DD: I showed it to some of the prinnies... one of them recognized it somehow. That's how I found out it was a video game.
DD: The prinny also told me it contains the power to destroy worlds.
MM: ...destroy worlds, you say? hmmm.... ahahaha.
MM: hahahaha!
MM: HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!
MM: very well! i will play this video game... and take its power for my own!
MM: bring it to me at once, so that I may begin.
DD: I'm sending a prinny over with it right now. But, uhm...
MM: ...what now?
DD: Well, it's a bit more complicated than that.
MM: it figures.
DD: Apparently the game requires two people. One to play the game, and one to... assist them, I think? The prinny kinda left out some of the details.
DD: In hindsight I might have been a little too... enthusiastic in my questioning, hahaha.
MM: ugh. if that's how it works... then, i command you to assist me as i play the game.
MM: you better be ready quickly, though.
DD: Haha, silly prince! Waaaaaay ahead of you there, I've been ready this whole time.
MM: ...hmph. i guess i'll give you credit for efficiency, at least.
DD: Just install the game once the prinny gets it to you, and connect to me.
DD: I'll be waiting~! ♥
{ devilishDiva [DD] is no longer questioning maleficMonarch [MM] }

You briefly wonder if you should feel guilty about this. Of course, outright lying to him would be no big deal. Expected, even! But this half-truth business makes you a bit uncomfortable. Oh well. What's done is done! He'll understand later.

Oh, looks like he's starting the game up... time to get to work, then. No rest for the wicked!

{ maleficMonarch [MM] is now querying devilishDiva [DD] }
MM: okay, now what?
MM: this is boring so far. hurry up!
DD: Calm down! You're so impatient and demanding, prince.
MM: hmph. mere flattery.
DD: Now I just use my end to... create some stuff you'll need... Hmm...
DD: ...there! Perfect~!
MM: ...
MM: what did you just do to my toilet?
DD: It was in the way! Picky, picky.
MM: ...nnngh. why do i put up with you?
DD: Because I'm beautiful!
DD: And loyal.
DD: I've only stabbed you in the back THREE times.
MM: ...four.
DD: Wait. Really?
MM: flonne's birthday party. remember?
DD: ...after the card game! Oh yeah!
DD: Hahahahahaha! That was hilarious! You should have seen your face!
MM: ...
MM: let's just keep playing this game, okay?
MM: i only need to get my hands on this mysterious power, then i can forget all about this nonsense.
DD: Okay, okay! Here are the instructions for what you do now, as far as I understand it.
DD: See that blocky thing with a tube? You need to remove the lid from the tube, then use something that's inside it together with that weird card and the other machines.
DD: This will let you create... some important item. Then depending on what that item is, you have to do something with it to get the main part of the game started.
DD: Okay?
MM: ...
MM: that was the most pitiful excuse for instructions i have ever heard.
MM: seriously, you're terrible at this.
DD: Hey, I'm working with what I've got, okay?
DD: Besides, I can't hold your hand all the time! Stop being such a baby, prince.
MM: actually, you're right!
MM: i can figure it out myself. no thanks to my useless disrespectful vassal.
MM: haaaaaahahahaha!
DD: Okay then!
DD: Try not to hurt yourself, prince~
{ maleficMonarch [MM] is no longer querying devilishDiva [DD] }

You feel like you might be forgetting something... probably nothing too important. Now to just wait for the prince to... oh no.

Not THIS guy again.

Ugh. You should have known this was coming.

{ !UNIDENTIFIED_TRANSMISSION! ?? is now quarreling with devilishDiva [DD] }
??: Hahaha, oh wow, I am fucking impressed!
??: No really, I mean that. You played that self-important brat like a fucking fiddle.
DD: ...shut up. I don't need your praise.
DD: Just tell me what to do next.
??: No, no, I wasn't done! I particularly liked that "power to destroy worlds" part... oh man, that was beautiful!
??: Lemme tell ya... you've got potential, kid. You should let me help you out.
??: I can offer you more power than you've ever dreamed of.
??: All I ask are a few... favors.
DD: "Favors"? You're some kind of pervert, too?
??: That's... I... what? Hahaha, in your dreams!
??: I don't even wanna know where the hell you got that idea. And you called ME a pervert!
??: But, okay. Moving right the fuck along.
??: Shit's pretty simple at this point, actually. Just do what the game tells you. Even your useless prince should be able to figure it out quickly enough.
??: Me, I'll be over here relaxing while you idiots run around and embarrass yourselves.
??: Once you get your shit together I'll be in touch, fill you in on what's up next.
??: You clear on that, kid?
DD: Yeah.
??: Good, 'cuz I'm not gonna repeat myself. Be seeing you.
{ !UNIDENTIFIED_TRANSMISSION! ?? is no longer quarreling with devilishDiva [DD] }

{ devilishDiva [DD] is now querying !UNIDENTIFIED_TRANSMISSION! ?? }
DD: ...wait.
??: Haha, what? Miss me already?
DD: This... will really work, right? I can bring... uhm...
??: Oh hey, the fuck is this?
??: You're gonna start doubting me NOW?
??: It is WAY too goddamn late for that, numbnuts. You're in over your empty little head already.
??: But don't worry. I'm here to help, cross my heart. Hahaha.
??: I may be a huge asshole, but I'm not lying to you. That sort of shit is for weaklings who can't get what they want honestly, not a total badass like me!
??: This is all above-board, an honest trade, quid pro motherfucking quo. Simple as can be!
??: It'll work. You'll get to see your little demon boyfriend again or whoever the hell it is you're moping about. Doesn't matter to me.
DD: ...
??: Now stop whining and get your scrawny shapeless ass in gear! You've got a lot of work ahead of you.
{ !UNIDENTIFIED_TRANSMISSION! ?? is no longer being queried by devilishDiva [DD] }

Geeeeeez! That guy is annoying. Someone really needs to put him in his place.

Preferably someone powerful. And beautiful. Not that you have anyone specific in mind or anything. Hee hee.

Better check on the prince and see how he's--wait, who's this now?

{ !UNIDENTIFIED_TRANSMISSION! ?? is now quibbling with devilishDiva [DD] }
??: No!
??: Please stop!
DD: Whaaaaaat? And who are you?
DD: One of my secret admirers, perhaps?
??: Uhm... :\
DD: Well, I'm busy right now! If you want my autograph you'll have to wait.
??: No, that's... you have to stop! Don't play that game!
DD: ...What.
DD: Do you have any idea how much I've been through to get my hands on that??
DD: This is really important! What's your problem??
??: It's really dangerous!
DD: So? That's what makes it fun~!
??: No, you don't understand... it will destroy the world.
??: Everyone will die! :(
DD: ...Yeah, and? I know all that.
??: You... do? But...
DD: Hahahahahaha! You don't even know who I am, do you?
DD: I don't care about any of these peons. They've done nothing to earn my respect.
DD: Wellllll, I guess maybe the prince has a little bit of my respect.
DD: But he'll be fine anyway. Everyone else can just die.
DD: Their pitiful cries for mercy will be music to my ears~ ♥
??: That's a horrible thing to say! ._.
DD: ...well, they'd say the same about me. The Netherworld is a pretty unfriendly place, you know. It's dog-eat-dog down here. And I aim to be the biggest dog around.
DD: I suppose you're from some disgusting world made of candy and happy puppies, is that it? Where everyone was your friend?
??: ...
DD: There's only one person down here I ever really gave a damn about. And this game is my second chance.
DD: But maybe that's not something you'd understand.
??: ...
{ !UNIDENTIFIED_TRANSMISSION! ?? is no longer quibbling with devilishDiva [DD] }
DD: Huh.
DD: That was weird.

You... realize that you probably shouldn't have said that much to whoever that was, but you're way too on edge after talking to that jerk with grayish text. Might be a good idea to let off some steam.

You glance over to see who else is on that you can take your frustrations out on. Someone you don't mind pissing off. Flonne? Nah, can't ever get a fun reaction out of her. Maybe... no, definitely not talking to him right now. What about... ohhh, perfect! This ought to be fun.

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...okay, there's basically no way that can end well for anyone concerned. Suffice it to say that things go downhill quickly.

And yeah, no real ending I guess. Just kinda stopped there. Wasn't sure if anyone else would be interested? Problem with crossover-ish things is that people who don't know the other source material tend to just kinda shrug and move on past...

[absoluteCertainty]

i've never played disgaea and i knew it was disgaea as soon as i opened the spoiler so i think you did a good job!

[Lexxy]

Announcing this here because it's relevant to EVERYONE'S interests:

Art is officially exempt from the Pillweef rule.

You may now continue with your regularly uncensored fanficcing!

[Solaris]

i request one fanfic make use of the both heavily and junk, anyway because I want to go blind, and because i made it

also it is pretty

[DJ-P0N3]

Announcing this here because it's relevant to EVERYONE'S interests:

Art is officially exempt from the Pillweef rule.

You may now continue with your regularly uncensored fanficcing!

Hallelujah
With that I apologize if I seemed rude or irrational or otherwise during the release of this new rule.

[Kassiopeia]

Announcing this here because it's relevant to EVERYONE'S interests:

Art is officially exempt from the Pillweef rule.

You may now continue with your regularly uncensored fanficcing!

Thanks for letting us know!

[Decker]

Oh! That was faster than I thought.

[mutecebu]

(Alternate Universe)
Guardian:

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Show Pesterlog:

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-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

TG: thats it i cant take it anymore
TG: it was such a huge mistake prototyping seppucrow with this useless mindnumbing jackass
TG: im going back
EB: already?
TG: what do you mean already shit took 4 goddamn months
TG: or something
TG: i dont know im kind of losing track of how long its been with all this time hopping
EB: four months?
EB: dang.
TG: yah
EB: umm… are you sure you’re ready?
TG: yah dude we’ve got some slick gear
TG: gear doesn’t any more slick than this
EB: but we still don’t know how to beat the game!
TG: what’s there to know
TG: don’t be an idiot
TG: don’t let rose and jade die
TG: knock some heads together
TG: solve the weird puzzle shit
TG: rinse
TG: repeat
TG: i can jump from cog to cog for another year and not get anywhere
TG: like commander keen on his pogostick
TG: fucker keeps bouncing around like its going out of style
EB: okay i get it!
EB: soo…
EB: what’ll happen to me?
TG: oh man i don’t know
TG: maybe you and the whole timeline will disappear
TG: maybe not
TG: id say try to go to sleep but yeah
EB: i missed the boat on that one.
EB: i think i’d rather take nonexistance over an eternity with the squiddles.
TG: yah I hear you
EB: well…
EB: good luck.
TG: you too
EB: *fist bunp*
TG: *fist bunp*

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

A scratch of the timetables, and Dave was gone.

You wince, and wait. The seconds pass.

Nothing.

Well, that answers that question.

***

The days turn into weeks, and you play the game. You help the salamanders wherever you can, and soon stand over the crushed form of your monstrous denizen. You allow yourself a great feeling of satisfaction as the oil drains from the planet’s pipes, the skys clear, and fireflies descend to alight on branches, tubes, and salamanders worldwide. Resting your hand on your hammer, you stand proud as Man Skylark.

Still, you kept playing. Taking your trusty Turbokite, you leave your mended planet and begin exploring the remnants of the Veil. (Never mind how does it work in space, how do you even breathe? Whatever.) Mostly it is just rocks, but you find the occasional gem.

Oh, like this one. A secret lab, in the middle of space? This is so completely awesome. How could this amazing thing be floating out here unnoticed all this time? You investigate.

Inside you find tubes of all shapes and sizes, with an arcane purpose. They are all destroyed, though whether by accident or on purpose you cannot tell. You pass a ruined set of monitors. They look suspiciously like the SBURB logo, though this kind of thing never fazes you anymore.

Further in, you find one unmarked red button. Will it still work? Only one way to find out.

You mash the button, and a rumbling fills the lab. Thankfully, it doesn’t collapse. You make your way outside the lab in time to see Skaia’s huge form looming quickly. A green spirograph envelops you, and you brace for impact.

***

20 years later, a man works with his adopted mother in the family joke shop. He glimpses a professional lady, and old memories are stirred.

An old mother lost today, but a new son gained.

The gentleman has discovered a clue. A violet scarf. The knitting, familiar.

[Wigmund]

Announcing this here because it's relevant to EVERYONE'S interests:

Art is officially exempt from the Pillweef rule.

You may now continue with your regularly uncensored fanficcing!

Woo-hoo! Hurrah for us having such a great mod who's all awesome and stuff!
There's one less rule I have to worry about breaking.

i request one fanfic make use of the both heavily and junk, anyway because I want to go blind, and because i made it

also it is pretty

I'll take this challenge! Now I need to think up of a fic where Eridan and Karkat are yelling at each other about Vriska

[Graven_Image]

Indystuck

Chapter 14

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When the light faded, Quote half-hoped to find King floating there, somehow liberated by the hatching of the kernel.

No such luck. Just the sword, floating there, being quiet.

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CURLY: }I don't suppose you're any more willing to talk now, are you.
BLADESPRITE: ...
MISERY: So, I suppose we should attempt to re-prototype it?
MISERY: A willing volunteer would be my first choice.
QUOTE: ...
BALROG: I'll do it!
CURLY: }NO!
MISERY: I am not saddling our hero's journey with you as a spirit guide.
MISERY: Back away from the sprite.
BALROG: Alright, alright, fine.
BALROG: Yeesh, some people.
CURLY: }So, what'll it be, Quote? Any ideas?
QUOTE: ...?
QUOTE: *shrug*

"Well then. I think there's only one solution left to us."

"Oh, really, Misery? Go on. Blind us all with your magnificent insight."

"I'll do it."



"What."

"I will be the second prototyping. Perhaps I will be able to bring out King from the sword, or failing that, I will at least be able to fulfill the sprite's intended function."

"So... You're sacrificing yourself? To help us?"

"Don't be ridiculous," said Misery as she walked up to the glowing sword. "I'm not going anywhere."

FWOOSH

OPEN PESTERLOG

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redMeat began pestering newGuy

RM: ok
RM: what did you put in?
NG: not me
NG: it was those screwups on the client end
NG: they put a sword in
NG: a sword that may or may not have been possessed
RM: well
RM: that explains the overabundance of sharp things on my end
NG: speaking of sharp things
NG: imma go out and do the exploring thing like you are
NG: this game looks AMAZING

newGuy ceased pestering redMeat

"Alright, your highness. I drew up the plans just like you... Oh my."

The Black Queen looked different. Instead of her queenly robe, she was bedecked in full battle regalia. A long, wickedly curved sword hung at her side. A single scar marked her cheek just below the eye.

And the weirdest thing about that last one was, despite never being there before, it looked like she had borne it for years.

"Don't just stand there, Doctor. Hand them over."

Dr. Fetus pased the sheaf of papers to the Queen. She cursorily flipped through them, at one point muttering, "Rubbish..."

"Excuse me?"

The Queen glared at him over the multitude of poorly-drawn battle plans.

"Would you be killed in your sleep like an ailing pet?"

"I- I'm not following."

"What is on this paper is dishonorable and absolutely disgraceful to the name of Derse. It has the signs about is of disease. And here, when a part is diseased, we cut it off."

"So... what?"

"So, either find me a more suitable plan, or get off of my planet. Begone!"

The not-at-all-good Doctor hurried out of the throne room. He noted the desk jockey sitting where he left him, a bemused smirk on his face.

"What was...?"

"Pretty sure it's the latest prototyping. You'll get used to it."

"I think she's absolutely mad."

"That's something the citizens have known for a long time, buddy. No one does anything about it, cuz hey. That's how it's always been."

"I get the feeling you disagree," said the Doctor, leaning on the desk.

"Yeah. So what if I do?"

"I think our interests may be aligned."

The desk jockey just looked at him. Dr. Fetus offered his hand.

"Dr. Fetus, Ph. D."

The man took it.

"Noir. Jack Noir."

[Ganato]

The rule is abolished?
Happy days!
Lexxy, the bearer of good news.

Another one-shot sadfic inspired and named after A Tender Moment.

A Tender Moment

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“Don’t cry for me, coolkid,” she said brushing one of his tears away. He didn’t flich or move. He was a true coolkid.
“I love you,” she said before she succumbed to her wounds. Dave slowly bent forward and kissed her, and closed her eyes for her.

Dying alone is the worst that can happen. He had seen himself die so many times, but as often as possible they would make sure another Dave would be nearby. One to say a final word or give a final gesture of acknowledge, when the other would pass on. He regretted all those he found, where they did not have anyone. Thoese that travelled back to change the future for the better, only to die in such a shameful way. He was happy his brother and Davesprite had died together in battle and not alone. Bro might’ve been a lone wolf, but Dave had realised long ago that he did truly care. He wanted no one to die alone.

Which was why he had appeared at Jade’s side as soon as she had sent him a message.

He was a coolkid. He wasn’t meant to show feelings. Yet, he had screamed her name when Noir had appeared out of nowhere, humiliating the still low-levelled witch before disappearing in another green spark. He had been the one to recieve her last words. Words that did not surprise him, but he knew he would never hear them in another conversation. It was only when facing the end she could utter the words and he could not even do it then. But it didn’t matter. He knew she knew and she knew he knew. It was an ironic mobious double reach around.

He was a coolkid. But he was also a boy, and what he wanted to do was stay where he was, holding the fragile body in his arms and find a place to give it rest. What he had to do was do what a knight is supposed to do. Protect any damsel in distress. He put down her body, ever so gently, in the snow. Her blood had been running out and colored the snow around her a lush red. He imagined her as a sleeping princess, but no amounts of kissing would wake her. He stepped back and promised her, he would not let it happen again.

Re-wind

As he fell, he regretted how little it had changed. He had jumped at Noir as soon as he had appeared, taking the monster by surprise. And true enough, there was Jade, completely confused about what was happening. And there came past-him. He quickly grabbed Jade and quickly she realised what was happening. She looked at him, the future Dave, before using her powers as the Witch of Space and disappearing in a flash, not unlike Noir.

Dave never got to experience the future he had created. Noir was powerful and in two swings Dave was disarmed and speared. The bastard even disappeared while he was still falling to the ground, and he hit the snow with a wet sound. His blood was painting the snow red and desperatly he wanted to speak to her. To tell her own Jade that he would be coming. That she did not need to wait. That he loved her.

But that was impossible.

She had never existed.

And he died with the regret of dying alone.

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Been listening to 'A Tender Moment', '3 In The Morning (Pianokind)' and 'Last Night, Good Night' so I got in the mood for some sad fanfiction. I hope you enjoyed

[Kawa]

Oh shit, it's Jack! This is gonna epic.

[GPP]

This is probably a really bad idea!
It's another one of those stories with characters from another story play Sburb. Yeah, not really the most original thing ever.

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future dragonAwakener began pestering baseballEnthusiast
FDA: hey.
FDA: i need to talk to you.
BE: what
BE: could I ask who you are?
BE: and how you started pestering me in the first place
BE: because i dont see you on my chumroll at all
FDA: huh?
FDA: oh wait,
FDA: now I get it.
FDA: now I know how you started pestering me.
BE: wait what
FDA: it's not that big a deal.
BE: um, if you dont mind, ive been wanting to talk to a friend of mine about a game
FDA: i wish I could tell you not to play it,
BE: why would you want me to not play a game?
BE: are you trying to troll me?
FDA: no,
FDA: i am not trolling you.
FDA: but anyway,
FDA: not playing the game would lead to the unexisting of everyone you know.
BE: wait, unexisting?
BE: youre making whatever youre talking about sound completely stupid
FDA: okay,
FDA: i made it sound stupid,
FDA: but it's true.
BE: um
BE: could i just go talk to my friend now?
FDA: the psychic girl,
FDA: you mean?
BE: psychic?
BE: i didnt think shes psychic
FDA: i must be talking to you really early in your adventure right now.
FDA: oops.
FDA: at any rate,
FDA: you should start talking to Paula now,
FDA: or else you will all...
FDA: not exist,
FDA: i guess.
BE: you knew her name?
BE: and well cease existing if we dont play the game?
FDA: that's the word i was looking for!
FDA: ness,
FDA: you'd cease from existence completely!
BE: youre creeping me out right now
BE: who are you?
FDA: my name is Lucas.
BE: thats a pretty common name
BE: do you have a last one so i can report you to the police as a stalker?
FDA: um,
FDA: what's a last name?
BE: ...really?
BE: thats a kind of pitiful trolling attempt
FDA: I AM NOT A TROLL,
FDA: and you can't even report me to the police,
FDA: anyway,
FDA: considering i don't live anywhere near you.
BE: ...look, i just want to play the game with my friends
FDA: ok,
FDA: but im warning you,
BE: GOODBYE.
baseballEnthusiast ceased pestering future dragonAwakener

...Really? That's the second weirdo this week. How do they even know your chumtag, anyway?

And then I just get ninja'd by sadfic. Hooray.

EDIT: Eco-Mono, thank you for helping me slightly improve this horrible thing.

[KarneWarrior]

Trial by Void
Moonrise

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"I can't keep going. I feel weak. Leave me. Save yourself."

"Come on you selfish bastard, keep walking. You aren't going to make me miss my first moonrise."

"Just... Leave me. Go!"

"I'm not leaving you. Get up, Azla." She started dragging him through the tunnel, straining to move him.

"Please..."

"Don't fucking die on me! Don't you dare fucking die on me! We're almost there."

"You're... Delusional..."

"I can feel the breeze!" She lifted him onto her arm. He leaned on her, secretly thankful for the help.

Then he felt it too. A soft movement of air, a faint light at the end of the trial caverns! It was almost over, they were almost there. The light was getting brighter, brighter, brighter!

Azla began to scuffle forward on his own power, lightening the load on Iksti. The duo hurried up toward the surface, elation and wonder filling them to the brim.

And then they were out. The stars broke out like diamonds against the midnight-blue velvet of the sky. The moons hovered endlessly over the planet, watching the tiny goings on below. Purple and green in an endless dance overhead, the stars sparkling. Soft, natural light fell upon their shoulders, spilling over and through them until they felt as though they could fly. Azla's broken eye stopped hurting. Iksti broke down entirely and plopped on the ground, sobbing and looking up at the sky in wonder.

The world was bright. Pink trees swayed in the distance, stretching out to pluck the stars from the sky. The grass blew in waves, as if the ocean itself could not bear to be away from this moment. A city sparkled on the horizon like a million gemstones, colored windows shining dimly across the night. Somewhere a hopbeast skittered away.

They were here. They were on the surface. They were alive!

Azla sat down next to Iksti and put his arm around her shoulder, and they watched the night go by in silence.

[Eco-Mono]

Someone liked this the last time I did it, so. Here's another.

The Parable of the Meddlesome Maiden

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One there was a maiden...

whose love flowed towards danger.
She adored her self-destructive sister,
and longed to protect her from herself,
as much as she longed to embrace her in her arms.
But she could do neither,
for her embrace would discourage her sister's survival,
and her chiding would discourage her sister's love.
And so instead she sat at the bank of the stream,
and watched her beloved drown.

Edit:

Shit shit shit stupid color thing wouldn't work.
[COLOR="rgb(102, 102, 51)"]I mean look at this piece of shit.[/COLOR]
I need to stop swearing. But how do I make that ^ work?

Try using hex values (like #666633 ) instead of that rgb(102, 102, 51) thingy.
So like this.

[Wigmund]

Mr. Bowdler, There's Something Wrong With Your Edit

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"OH ! WHAT'S YOUR ERIDAN?"
"Kar, it's VVri...I think I'm her."
"Oh come on man. I know you're . But come on. No one is that . ."
"Yes . I'm a and evveryone ."
"Well, that's . But you're yourself."

Karkat the , seatroll. This was odd, normally Karkat wanted to Eridan, but hearing about this - it triggered his . So now he had to the poor guy.

"So when did you Vriska?"
"It wwasn't until she me the other day and if I wwas her."
"I wonder ?"
"I don't knoww! Noww I'm with all these and I don't know what to do!"

Karkat the troll on his . He always when he had to like this face to face.
"Well, have you her this?"
"Oh gog no! I can't !
her! I can't her!"
"Too late for that."

Eridan Karkat with tears in his eyes.
"Just try her. If she you, I doubt she'll ."
"Oh, all right. I'll her. Thanks for Kar."

So Eridan Vriska and Karkat felt .

WARNING: UNEDITED VERSION HIDDEN BELOW!

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Fools Rush In

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"OH GOGDAMMIT! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM NOW ERIDAN?"
"Kar, it's VVri...I think I'm falling in lovve wwith her."
"Oh come on man. I know you're desperate. But come on. No one is that desperate. Not even Tavros."
"Yes I am. I'm a fuckin loser and evveryone knows it."
"Well, that's true. But you're being too hard on yourself."

Karkat sat down next to the poor, lonely seatroll. This was odd, normally Karkat wanted to have nothing to do with Eridan, but hearing about this - it triggered his romantic counselor mode. So now he had to help the poor guy.

"So when did you notice these feelings for Vriska?"
"It wwasn't until she approached me the other day and asked if I wwas interested in her."
"I wonder what prompted that?"
"I don't knoww! Noww I'm dealin with all these strange things and I don't know what to do!"

Karkat sighed and patted the sobbing troll on his back. He always hated when he had to do stuff like this face to face.
"Well, have you talked to her about this?"
"Oh gog no! I can't do that Kar!
Wwhat wwould I say to her! I can't be pathetic in front of her!"
"Too late for that."

Eridan looked at Karkat with tears in his eyes.
"Just try talking to her. If she approached you, I doubt she'll say no."
"Oh, all right. I'll talk to her. Thanks for helping me Kar."

So Eridan approached Vriska and Karkat felt satisfied with a job well done.

Oh gog, Lexxy's gonna kill me for this. So many rules violated. So many.

[egregiousBass]

When I read the censored version I thought Eridan had made Vriska pregnant.

@Ganato: Magnificently sad. I have nothing else to say.
Except HAH at gender roles >:P

[DJ-P0N3]

Welp.
I have been working on this on and off for a few days now.
So, uhm....let's see here.


Tea or Death

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WARNING: This fanfiction contains excessive gore and torture.
Do not click the following link if this disgusts or displeases you.

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Tea or Death

Author's notes

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This idea came from a doodle of Death from Problem Sleuth in a dress drinking tea.
I then drew in a simple question, then added Nepeta.
And voila, a weird idea is born.

[Katrika]

Noooo, Death!

[Blox]

When I read the first version, I replaced every with Fuck xD


First Loss

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Jarred from your deep slumber, you blinked the tiredness from your eyes and cast a wary gaze over your surroundings, only to be nearly hit by a hail of metallic bullets. The shots land haphazardly around your location and while diving out of the way, you spy PM taking cover behind a large rock. Immediately you clamber over and take refuge besides her, pulling your hood further over your carapace head. She quickly explains that they were attacked by three other exiles looking to steal from the food storage. She’d managed to take out one of them with her sword before AR and the other two (who seemed to have terrible aim too) began firing, forcing her to hide behind this rock. You simply nod and hunker down more as shots begin hitting the area around you.

You are both silent for a little while as the gunfire finally peters out. Cautiously, you peer over the top of your cover, to see the two exiles absconding into the distance. AR proudly stands guard over Can Town, his firearm gripped tightly in his hands. You scrabble over the rock and sprint towards the town, your citizens need you. However, as you near the city hall, you abruptly stop, skidding slightly along the dessert ground. Your body tenses as you carefully bend down and extract a single can. It’s been severely wounded by multiple shots, its casing is twisted out of shape with numerous bullet holes through the silver shell. You close your eyes and bring the can towards your chest. There is no chance of recovery, the can is destined to depart from this life. It's your first loss.

[Sionnan]

Sollux fic. He has one of his typical migraines and receives a cure from an unexpected source.

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Oh God he hated the world.
He hated the world and everything in it, especially things that had bright colors or loud noises or emitted light or just existed period. He hated his lusus because the fucking thing only knew how to do shit like kill other shit and maybe ogle him in a manner that hovered between deranged and adoring.

But god forbid it knew how to do anything like cure a migrane. Or fetch an aspirin. Or even just rub the base of his horns. That was like the prime fucking spot for some therapeutic tension release, but mostly it was just hungry and demnading and totally fucking retarded.

But you know what, on the other hand, this was a good thing. The only thing here to witness him crying in his recuperacoon were the bees cultivating his mainframe upgrades. And thankfully, there were very few people who could actually decipher beenary in its primary form, so even if those traitorous fucks decided to tattle on him, the only response they would probably get in return was a garbled and panicked, "OHGODBEEEEEES".

His computer honked at him and he winced. Fucking honked. It had to be Gamzee, because no way did he set up that particular signature noise. He wondered if somehow he had managed to cultivate a few braincells and figure out how to hack into his system.

And then decided it was giving him way too much credit.

And then determined Gamzee probably set Karkat up to it. Not that Karkat really had to be set up to anything; he would jump at the chance to prove his incredibly feeble computer skillz to someone as ignorant and uninitiated as the clown humper. Oh, man. Oh man oh man oh man. He was being totally uncharitable, but fuck 'em all. His right side was beginning to seize up on him in concert with the iron pike being driven above the corresponding orbital socket. Even he was disgusted by the little whimper that got swallowed up by the sopor slime. He cuddled against the slime, trying to coax his muscles into relaxing.

It wasn't fair. He was alone, and he wanted to be alone but he didn't want to be lonely, and his friends kept up their inane goddamn chatter making his computer bleep and honk at his sore bulge and none of it was goddamn fair.

He spent the better part of the day wrapped in a swaddle of sopor slime and debilitating pain, the translucent yellow slipping down his face making doscolored little pools around his torso. Or maybe it wasn't most of the day, maybe it was really only a few minutes or hours, because time stopped making sense a while ago, and made less sense with this armageddon raging on in his brain. When he decided that the recuperacoon wasn't doing much aside for making him stir crazy, he hauled himself out, sliding down the bulbous face of it and trailing bicolored slime everywhere.

He would have been amused at the unwitting imagery he was conjuring if not for the nausea and searing fire. Not bothering to wipe off, Sollux crawled into some debatably clean clothes left lying around on the floor, rolling around instead of sitting up to situate himself. He was at his computer adjusting the brightness settings the next time he came to himself. A giant mute icon was just flashing to the bottom of his screen as he squinted through the mercifully light killing glasses perched on his nose.

And whaddya know. Someone new was trolling him. Well, not someone new, but definitely someone who would rather swallow their royal tongue before talking to someone like Sollux of their own volition. Ordinarily, he would find this somewhere between amusing and pathetic, given how big of a tool Eridan was, but right now it was kind of hard to summon any kind of coherent thought. He clicked on the flashing chat window.


[caliguasAquarium] began pestering [twinArmageddons]

CA: of for the lovve of the sea wwill you please just answwer this and end this baseless humiliation
CA: the things i do to keep my moirail placated
CA: its absurd really
CA: totally beneath me
CA: sollux are you there
CA: are you there
CA: are you there
CA: are you there
CA: are you there
CA: are you there
TA: whoa 2top iit
TA: what do you want
TA: unless iit2 a flaming bag of vomiit delivered two your door2tep, ii probably cant proviide
CA: oh charmin
CAjust exactly wwhat i wwould expect from such a scum sucker like you
CA: but
CA: i must
CA: restrain my disgust for you and attempt to reach out.
TA: ii can practically hear the 2traiin
TA: make thii2 fa2t ii have to feed my lu2u2 before all of hiis braiin2ell2 leak out
tho2e are iirrepla2able you know
TA: so ii would have a totally retarded lu2u2 because of you
TA: waiit he2 already totally retarded
TA: 2o ii gue22 ii have 2ome time

CA: alright stop
CA: just stop
CA: i can feel my skin crawwl as i read this drivvel
CA: but before i do this i must let you you this gesture is done under the greatest duress
TA: uh huh
CA: shut up
CA: feferi in her unknowwable font of misguided mercy has tasked me wwith a noble quest
TA: iif thii2 ii2 2ome weiird roleplay bull2hit can you take iit 2omewhere el2e
TA:ii have a miigraiine and iim not 2ure how long ii can keep iit from kiilliing me
CA: yes
CA: this is wwhat I am approachin you about
CA: my quest is to provvide one disgusting grovvelling creature so far beneath my notice that i wwould have to lift my shoe and use a magnifyin glass to find you, a service
TA: you need a wiidening len2 to fiind me
TA: yeah that2 classy
TA:befiittiing of royalty
TA: oh god
TA: waiit did ii ju2t read that riight
TA: a 2ervii2e?
CA: yes shut up.
CA: i wwas informed by gamzee that you wwere probably sufferin from one of the afflictions that plague your mutated lowwborn land body
TA: actually iits a 2ide effect from being p2ychic
TA: which coiin2iidentaly, ii2 totally not 2omethiing eiither of you royal2 are
TA: wow look at that 2ome nook2ucking 2cumblood wiith 2ome awesome fucking power2 that
TA: haha
TA: you dont have
CA: uuuurggghgh shut up shut up
CA: no i must exercise control
CA: you are so far beneath me it is sad and pathetic and funny
CA: ahahahaha
CA: there
CA: now i shall magnanimously donate a respite for your cripplin lowwborn disease
TA: what?
TA: waiit 2o youre really actually doing 2omethiing not totally douchey?
CA: ignorin that
CA: it is really vvery rare and precious and there is only enough for one use
CA: one of my many incredible finds that i stumbled upon during my roleplaying sessions
CA: but of course wwith my perfect health i have no need of it
CA: so i might as wwell give it to a land dwweller
CA: may you choke on it and die soil fucker

[caligulasAquarium] ceased trolling [twinArmaggedons]

Well that was totally worthwhile. Now to get back to making friends with the floor and hope the bees didn't make a mainframe on his inert body.

Just as he was about to turn away, something different caught his eye. A dim, flashing light at the bottom of his screen showed that he had an email message. Kind of rare, given that he normally only used chat. He clicked on it, listening to his lusus grumble above him. He really did have to get the lead out and feed that poor fucker, or else he would find him up there comatose because he forgot how to breathe.

It was a notification from the mail system. The actual physical mail system, which was kind of odd and funny because he just got a mail about mail. Nevermind. It declared that the most expensive postage was used, and stamped with a royal seal. So basically, as soon as it left Eridan's moist hands, it practically landed on his doorstep. It didn't weigh much but was marked as fragile. He considered the threat of it being stolen and weighed it against the inferno in his head, and then briefly considered using his psychic powers to bring it up from his mail slot.

Wow what a totally braidead indea. That would probably make him have a seizure or something equally harmful.

So he slouched down the stairs, resolutely ignoring his lusus' bawwing, into the grungy lowest common area of the communal hive stem. The rows of dictatorial transactions slots were lined off to his right, and he fought his way through a throng of older trolls to get to it, not even bothering to snarl at them as he pushed through. He dug his key, nice fancy alien word, out of his pocket and opened his own slot. Inside was a thin package, the only mail he'd receieved for a few weeks. He was down on boondollars, so he'd had to cut back on the games he ordered, making downstairs trips largely useless.

And in spite of himself, and the growling tirade infesting his head about the fishy fuckwad, a small, helpless little voice begged that Eridan was being truthful, and this would actually help his migraine. His fingers were stiff as we pried it open, flicking off some of the curious horde he had just dispelled who were now watching his conduct with opportunistic interest. Fuckers could go find their own royally endorsed homeopathic medecine. This shit was his.

The inside of the package smelled of books and antiques and stank of purple blood. Swell. He'd have to burn this damn thing so as not to have it stink up his respiteblock. Sollux sighed, diving a hand in and fishing around.

Oh fucking great. Nothing there. God he couldn't believe what a gullible douche he was to fall for that-

Wait.

His hand closed around a tiny ampoule. He pulled it out, and held it to the dim lights above him. It was a dark bottle, covered with peeling paper and lettering he couldn't read. Holy shit, he actually meant it.

Sollux paused, torn between desperation and mistrust. For all he knew this was just a step in that genocidal fishfucker's master plan to wipe out the land dwellers. And then discarded it, popping open the tiny glass stopper, because after all, it wasn't like Eridan was really any good at mass killing anyway.

It didn't have much of a scent, he noticed when he brought it to his face. His throat was getting a little tight from frustration, and he reached up to run a few gentle fingers at the base of his horns, putting the mouth of the bottle to his lips. It tasted like sea water and tears as he swallowed the scant mouthful.

Somewhere, he could hear the great wash of the sea.

Wait that didn't make any fucking sense, he wasn't anywhere near the-

The migraine was gone.

Sollux stopped dead, flabbergasted and totally mystified.

Nothing in particular came to invade the void the realization made, and he stood there, tiny bottle clutched in one pale hand with the taste of the sea in his mouth.

After a few minutes blisfully devoid of agonizing pain, he shuffled off, not even bothering to close the door of his slot in his pleasant stupor.

The long walk up the stairs gave him time to think, as the sound of his lusus' braying became more insistent with each ascending flight. Maybe he should thank Eridan-- wait, no. It wasn't Eridan's doing, it was Feferi's, kind of indirectly. He contemplated how to return the gesture without coming right out and thanking her and making himself as much of a tool as her doofy moirail.

He didn't even mind the blush that had crept up from his collar to his ears in repercussion from the endorphin high the little bottle gave him. At least, that's what he told himself it was from.

[Ganato]

Sollux is the new strider.

@Mayor:
Yes.
Death is not a joke character.
He is DEATH!

@eB:
Damsels will be damsels.
And it will be knights who have to save them.