Please continue. It's nice to see a fic of the kids just looking out for each other and having to face such a common "enemy" after going through all these trials.
--Censored Version--
Two sex jokes were removed from Part 11b to keep the fic in line for the forums. If it means that much to you, they can be found in the A03 copy of this fic.
GA: So In Essence It Is The Marriage Not The Dating Phase That Is The Actual Breeding Relationship
TT: I imagine the original intent may have been along those lines.
TT: It’s hard to tell when this has never exactly been my area of study, and may now be irrelevant.
GA: You Dont Figure You Or Any Of Your Fellows Will Attempt To Form A Marriage
TT: They might, I might. I can’t be sure. It’s a deeply ingrained institution, and I’m sure all of us have imagined being married at some point in our lives, even if we don’t retain it into adulthood.
TT: I was more referring to its relation to child bearing and rearing.
TT: Seeing as how none of us, Human or Troll, understand what might be waiting for us even in the most ideal of circumstances, it might be more practical to plan assuming that we may be relying on one another to survive.
TT: The four of us will likely have to be co-parents, with me as involved in Jade’s child’s life as she in mine.
TT: Children, perhaps.
TT: …John’s children.
GA: Oh
GA: You Have Mating Fondness For The John Human
TT: No, it’s not that.
TT: It’s a genetic concern, I can’t really see any other way around it.
TT: Genetic similarity in the parents is a risk for human children. Dave and I are too similar, biologically siblings. Better to stave it off for as many generations as possible by matching me with John and Jade with Dave and down the line.
TT: I do not believe any of us would for one moment stand in the way of each other’s happiness.
TT: But when the time comes to breed, there’s a simple practicality here that can’t be denied.
GA: I See
GA: If You Have Reservations Regarding Breeding With The John Human
GA: Perhaps You Should Consider Mating With The Jade Human Instead
TT: Urm
TT: Human breeding
TT: …I’m afraid human breeding does quite work that way.
GA: Are You Too Genetically Distinct
TT: No, it’s because we’re both female.
GA: Oh
GA: Is That Frowned Upon
TT: Kanaya please stop accidentally hitting social issues lost in the apocalypse straight on the head
TT: You’re making it very frustrating for me to converse with you.
GA: What Did I Say
TT: Human breeding requires male and female genetic material to create a single infant.
TT: Though now that you’ve pointed it out, I suppose ectobiology may provide an answer. I hadn’t thought of it.
TT: I’m not saying we’d have been forced to stay in those pairings our whole lives but genetically…
GA: I Can See That This Bothers You
GA: But I Must Press On To Know Why
TT: I’m not sure how to equate it to you.
TT: There’s a certain intimacy in human breeding for which I’m not sure I can find an Alternian equivalent to help you understand.
TT: …Tell me. Would I be right in assuming that moirails and auspistices play some role in the actual act of filling your conversationally taboo buckets?
GA: Certainly
GA: Not With Genetic Material But In The End These Are Their Relationships Too
TT: That’s what I was worried about. If the opposite was the case, I could have compared the experience to them being present at the time.
GA: Hmm…
TT: Would it be crude of me to ask bluntly if your species has a form of physical stimulation?
TT: Perhaps commonly shared between matesprits and/or kismeses?
GA: You Mean Sex
TT: Naturally, after I have spent all my time dancing worriedly about, I find that you use the same word as us.
GA: Do We Not Use The Same Words For Other Purposes
GA: After All We Largely Manage To Communicate Day To Day
TT: Are you familiar with the word “lung”?
GA: No
TT: Exactly.
GA: One Assumes Based On Your Line Of Questioning That Your Species And Mine Both Apply A Certain Intimate Restriction To This Act
GA: But That In Your Species Case It Is Used For Reproductive Purposes As Well As It May Have Once For Ours
TT: Yes. Since you worked that out so quickly I’m sure you can follow me the rest of the way.
TT: Now, if we cannot (re)create some form of artificial reproduction, complete or partial, with all the powers of alchemy, than I shall count myself surprised.
TT: But I hope you can see how, given the social history of marriage and sexual monogamy, that if I grow and end up in a sexual relationship with, say, Strider
TT: Or Jade,
TT: Or You,
TT: That having to even ecto-reproduce with John would strike as
TT: …For the both of us, don’t think I’m placing any blame at his door…
TT: very…
GA: Wrong
TT: Yes, succinct is best.
TT: I’d like to think I’d grow into the kind of person that understands the necessity of what’s going on.
TT: At the moment I’m still expressing juvenile “I want”s about how I’d prefer this go.
TT: In the end it still has to be John, or ecto with Jade. I just hope it loses any stigma for the four of us with maturity, so that we can raise however many we decide the new Humanity will need, nine months at a time.
GA: Your Species Only Gestates In Nine Months
TT: Was that a question or an expression of shock?
TT: Because we have horrific biological realities here to bury any shock.
GA: No I Can Imagine From What You Have Already Implied
GA: Internal Fertilization Live Birth And A Lack Of Metamorphoses Simply Struck Me As Requiring A More Complex Infant Body
GA: Yet You Outstrip Our Comparable Thirteen Months By Four
TT: Does this mean we’re winning?
GA: Yes My Species Has Been Soundly Trounced By Your Terrifying Pregnancy System
GA: You Will Start Lapping Us At Some Point I Imagine In The Fourth Generation
TT: Now you’re just making numbers up.
TT: But you did just remind me that we’ll have to deal with Westermarck.
GA: Now Youre Just Making Up New Terms To Frustrate Me
TT: I think this one will do a better job of frustrating the four of us over here!
TT: Westermarck’s an effect that’s shown that humans raised near one another see each other as family and thus, non-sexual.
TT: It’s the reason I can be attracted to Dave but still be biologically related. Really, biology doesn’t even factor in, it’s pure psychology.
TT: If we don’t raise our members separately, we’ll complicate their adult lives, even if all reproduction for everyone from here on out is non-biological.
TT: But we’ll need to raise our members somewhat together or risk problems on other levels. It’s an logisti/sexual disaster.
GA: But You Only Mention The Four Of You In This Cooperative Exercise
TT: Five, pardon.
GA: Thank You, But I Was Not Just Referring To Me
GA: Pardon My Assumptions As This Seems Like It May Be Or Become A Sensitive Issue
GA: But I Was Harbouring The Hope That When This Was Over Our Groups Would Continue Assisting One Another
TT: Do you think?
GA: Perhaps It Is Naïve Of Me To Suggest But Our Odds As A Society Strike Me As Stronger As Sixteen Compared To Four And Twelve Apart
GA: Besides We Both Seem To Be Entertaining Some Fantasy Where We Are Both Able To Uphold A Relationship In This Future
GA: Doesnt That At Least Imply Geographical Proximity Or Have I Misunderstood
TT: I suppose you make a good point.
TT: I had assumed that, given our differences, living together with your fellows would not really be the best idea. I suppose I had been unconsciously assuming a sort of allied sister societies.
TT: I’m sorry, I hadn’t yet accounted for you. This is still a fresh idea from my perspective. I haven’t turned much thought at all to the details but I’m sure we’ll work something out.
GA: Id Be More Touched If There Had Been A Larger Gap Since We First Brought It Up
TT: You? You’ve had a lot more time to think about it than us, I’m sure.
GA: I Think Youll Find That Our Thoughts Are Not Exactly On The Future Here
GA: We Once Had Much Grander Plans But They Have Fallen Aside Seeing As How We All Expect To Die
-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --
GC: K4RK44444444T
CG: UGH, WHY DOES NO ONE EVER JUST WALK OVER HERE?
CG: WHAT?
GC: HOW LONG W1LL W3 H4V3 ALON3 W1TH TH3 HUM4NS B4FOR3 TH3 D3MON G3TS H3R3
CG: I DON’T KNOW, AN HOUR. TWO, TOPS.
GC: 3XC3LL3NT >:D
CG: WAIT A MINUTE
CG: WHY DID YOU SPECIFY “ALONE”?
GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H
GC: JUST PL4NN1NG MY
GC: H3LLOS >;)
CG: OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE NO
CG: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
GA: And Then He Started Another Of His Memos
TT: And then John contacted me. Yes, I think I see how this played out across the temporal ping-pong table.
TT: But what about you? Do you believe you’re going to die?
GA: Frankly
GA: Yes
GA: But Im Not Going To Let Being Rational Stand Entirely In The Way Of Hope
TT: What do you think about it, then?
TT: The future.
TT: Start over, raise a new Alternia, or build the world in your own image.
GA: I Think Im More Concerned About The Dirty Work
GA: Not The Physical Labour But The Minutiae
GA: After All We Cant Really Create A New Empire Considering We Never Knew The Original First Hand
GA: Except With Hate
GA: We Hated The Old Empire Through And Through I Suppose We Would Not Want To Replicate It But What Else Do We Have To Serve As An Example
TT: What about children?
GA: Weve Taken Some Steps In That Direction
TT: That’s not what I meant. I meant what do you think about it?
TT: I realize this is going to be a major step for your society. Do you intend to raise them?
TT: You have lost most of the structure on which your original society was based. No Lusii, no dangerous planet to call their own on which to survive to adulthood, probably a smaller crop of larvae, all of which you will have to admit descended directly from you and your fellows…
GA: Yes Yes I See What You Mean
GA: Please Stop
TT: And raising your own children is something you haven’t done in living memory.
GA: I Realize
GA: That That Is Not Stopping At All
GA: Do You See This Face This Is The Face Disgusted At Your Behaviour
TT: Oh yes, very clearly.
GA: It Would Appear That Its Your Turn To Broach Sensitive Issues Accidentally
GA: Seeing As How I Know The Moment The Subject Is Breached We Trolls Will Be At One Anothers Throats
GA: You See
GA: The Loss Of Our Particular Upbringing Might Very Well Mean The End of Trolldom As We Know It
TT: Surely you exaggerate.
GA: Not At All
GA: Imagine Instead If You Took Your Generation Of Humans Out Of Your Child Prisons And Put Them In The Wilds
TT: “Schools”
GA: You Have To Admit That They Would Not Come Out Remotely Like Their Biological Lusus
GA: I Simply Believe The Reverse Is Also True
TT: So what will you do?
GA: We Will Likely Lock Horns And Set Twelve Completely Distinct Parenting Styles Against One Another
GA: Before We Even Have To Face The Larvae
GA: I Can Only Imagine We Will Become More Protective Of Our Memories Of Our Lusii Each Time One Of Our Number Tell Us To Abandon Their Techniques In Favour Of Another
GA: It Would Be Like An Affront To Their Memory
TT: With all due respect, and to abuse a human cliché, “You’re not your mother,” any more than ArachnidsGrip is her terrible Lusus.
TT: Well, not in the end.
TT: What I mean to say is, there’s no reason you can’t compromise, reason or sacrifice for the good of your society.
TT: And still remember your guardians in your own way.
GA: I Dont Think You Understand How Conflicting This Is Going To Be
GA: In My Mind Navigating Through This Hurdle Will Be The Last True Challenge Before All Is Said And Done
TT: I see. And I’ll try to understand, as best I can.
GA: I Appreciate
TT: And you honestly want John and Jade and Dave and I even peripherally complicating this Battle of the Nurtures with our human taint?
TT: Forcibly inserting our opinions on the sidelines of every act and action.
GA: I Think It Will Make Things More Interesting
TT: Well if you put it that way, how could we refuse?
TT: Since this subject has been broached, can I ask a question under the shelter of our original promise of neutrality?
TT: For scientific reasons?
GA: That Was The Deal
TT: I’m curious as to your opinion if our species can cross-breed biologically.
GA: Ah
GA: I Dont See Any Reason That That Would Be Possible
TT: I figured the same, but I really have no data to go on.
TT: You’ve at least seen us.
TT: It had to be asked, if not me than by someone else.
GA: I Understand It Could Have Just As Easily Been Me
GA: Or Worse It Could Have Been Anyone But Us
TT: John to Vriska is the worst case scenario I was imagining.
GA: Tavros To Jade
TT: Who?
GA: Trust Me
TT: I’ll try.
TT: What do you think we’ll do as societies if we can’t live together?
GA: I Suppose Well Simply Live Apart
GA: Long Distance Has Not Exactly Been Our Enemy Even If It Has Not Been Our Friend
TT: That’s true. If worst comes to worst and we humans make more enemies than we do friends, raising separate societies would not be the worst possible outcome.
TT: And there’s something to be said for silence and privacy.
GA: I Agree
TT: But that doesn’t mean I’m not looking forward to meeting in person.
GA: Yes
GA: I Wish I Could Show You My Hive And Its Original Surrounds
GA: It Was An Excellent Island For Privacy
GA: Even If Everyone Was Banging On My Digital Door For Advice At All Hours Of The Night
TT: Auspisticing stories, mother dearest?
GA: Oh Yes I Have Books And Books Full
TT: Perhaps I will ask you about them. Uh…
TT: Whose turn is it, really?
GA: Oh I Dont Know Any More
GA: Go Ahead By All Means
-------------------------
“I don’t want to sound overly, overly eager,” Rose said, “but I think we’ve humoured John’s joke long enough to get out of here if you’d like.”
Kanaya glanced at Rose out of the corner of her eye. Though they had been talking almost constantly for the past ten minutes and her work on the computer had been intent, furious and had not yet abated. “Did you have something planned?”
“Not really,” Rose said honestly, “I just was hoping to get a little… uh… time alone. Oh god, why does everything I want to say suddenly sound like innuendo?”
“You’re the psychologist,” Kanaya said with a grin.
“Yeah, that’s what’s worrying.”
Kanaya’s left hand started to work the keyboard with a few frantic hotkeys. “Rose, while I appreciate you inviting me Outside, or whatever you had in mind, I’d appreciate if you could wait just a half hour. Today’s my day on survey, for starters.” Rose nodded. Karkat had drafted the lot of them into a routine check of the surviving worlds and asteroids in the session to see what resources they still had open to them. Since it worked on a cycle of sixteen days, Rose had only done a single shift. Sadly, if the shifts had been reduced to a half hour at Kanaya’s current pace, Jack had not left much to work with. “Also, I have to get my clothing out of Karkat’s and, uh… my room is still a mess.”
“I can…” Rose said before thinking. “…You’re not going to let me help, are you?”
Kanaya reached up to pat her on the knee. “You poor, adorable slob.” She looked at Rose and smiled, which was nice before Rose realized she was doing it to distract her from her smoothing out her skirt. Rose swatted her away and Kanaya seemed to reach back, but when Rose tried again Kanaya caught her hand in her own.
“…Half an hour, huh?” Rose said with a smile.
“I promise.”
“All right, then,” Rose said, and took to her feet, stopping only to lean over and kiss Kanaya’s brow before stepping away. Jade watched her as she left. Nepeta had left their conversation moments prior, mid-sentence and crouched low to the ground as she went. At a doubled pace, Jade walked up to Rose with her fists clenched high and lower lip pinched down hard by her overbite.
“Where’s she going?” Rose asked before Jade could say a thing.
“I… Nepeta?” Rose looked over her shoulder and confirmed that Nepeta was stalking up behind Eridan. “…She said she had to go scout out ‘the Cave of Au-Furs.’”
“‘Authors’?” Rose asked, seeing Nepeta stalking off in the general direction of Vriska and Tavros’ co-authoring computer. “That one needs work.”
Jade replied by reaching over and swatting at Rose with the overlong sleeve of the sweatshirt she was wearing that day. “Stop changing the subject!”
“Me?” Rose protested. “I’m not changing the subject! I introduced the subject,” she explained as she sat down on the horn pile. “I’m just continuing it!”
Jade sat down too with a heavier drop, but the sound of the horns was muffled out by the mournful, dying cry of a Reader in his natural habitat. To wit: “Nep, what the fuck are you oh fuckin god what the hell get offa—” Jade scooted about to find her seating, and then again to get within whispering range.
“I mean you and Kanaya!” she said. “I mean, a few days ago she came to talk to Karkat and Nepeta, because they’re so used to relationships I guess, and John and me were there. And she says she wants someone else’s advice on what’s up with you and her, you know, meaning she just wanted someone to tell her.” Rose nodded. “And so Karkat told her to go with whatever came into her head the next time she saw you, because ‘IF YOU’RE TOO STUPID TO HAVE WORKED THIS OUT ALREADY—’” Rose was impressed, Jade’s Karkat impression was good even at a whisper, “‘—GOD KNOWS YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO FOR THE SHIT PLAN.’ Then I told her to go with her heart, Nepeta said you would be cute matesprits, it went pretty much like you can imagine.”
“So… what did she say in the end?” Rose did not exactly want to hedge her bets, but everything was so fresh that she could not help but be nervous. The mental picture of Kanaya picking a different quadrant in a less emotional moment had already crawled to the surface.
“She said…” Jade said, drumming her hands on her knees like she did when she would think, and Rose glared at her for the delay. “She said she would get you alone and wouldn’t let you go until she had told you… whatever she had picked.”
Rose heaved a sigh, though partially to cover for her relief. “Oh… that was my fault, then. I left, it was me.” Jade reached out and patted her arm. “I ran away and went to talk to Gamzee and Terezi.”
Jade’s volume perked up a bit at that, partially from surprise but more because “you wouldnt hurt a pretty kitty cat its just not nice!” “who said im nice nep im not fuckin nice” “of course you are youre as harmless as the prettiest dragonfl—arg, Eridan, don’t…!! ffft! fffffffffft!!!”
“Is that where you were?” Jade asked. “John and I were wondering. We only heard a bit from Kanaya before she and Karkat disappeared, and after a while I got… uh…” Jade wrung her hair (“tavros, help!” “no, tav, fuckin help me” “hehe, okay, yeah, help him”) “But it’s okay now, right? I mean, you kissed!”
“You and Kani kissed?”
Suddenly Rose did not know what was going on. There was an avalanche of tin and rubber, horns pouring past her and Jade, and they were raised up, shrieking. She tried to get out of the way but found herself tightly secured, Jade as well, and all they could do was shout and hold on to one another for dear life.
“ThIs iS ThE BeSt fUcKiNg nEwS I’Ve hEaRd aLl…” and he yawned, “…dAy!”
When Rose opened her eyes, she and Jade were on Gamzee’s lap. He sat chest-deep in the horn pile, though it continued to spill away from him, and held secure by their opposite shoulders.
“H-hi Gamzee,” Rose said, her heart calming down with relief, a little after the rest of her.
“No, we didn't kiss, but we're matesprits now!” Looking around she saw that Nepeta and Eridan were still at it, Vriska shooting Nepeta a dirty look she didn’t think Nepeta really understood. Karkat was talking to Kanaya in a strict business manner about the scans, as though nothing untoward had happened either just to his right or at all, yesterday and beyond.
“Sup bra?” Gamzee said, smacking his lips. His makeup was in even more disorder than when Rose had left the day before, and a glob of eyeliner had stuck his right eye entirely shut. “…Oh yeah, you just said! That’s fantastic, my man, fucking awesome.” And he clapped her on the shoulder.
“Yeah, thanks, isn’t it? Uh… were you asleep… under the horn pile?”
“Hah, yeah, I guess, eh? Has a bit of a tide sometimes but I think this one we can put on the treetop doorstep of my most litigactious ex going for a morning prank.”
Jade still looked a little shaken. “His… what?” she asked Rose as though Gamzee were not there.
Gamzee’s reaction was from the same page, as despite the firm grasp he held to keep her from falling aside, he looked up at her in surprise and exclaimed “Hey juggalette! Did you hear the news?” And he gave Rose a light shake.
Jade did not change the subject. “You have an ex here, Gamzee?”
“oH.” His face fell. “Yeah, Terezi broke it off with me last night, bummer y’know?”
“Terezi… what?” Jade reached up to clean out her ear. Even Karkat looked up at that one, though when he saw Rose watching him he made a face and waved it away.
But Gamzee was already back on the subject of Rose and Kanaya’s new matespritship. “This is totally rockin’, Rose,” he said, and Rose noted happily that he was still using both her and Terezi’s name even after a night’s rest, which Terezi had figured was an impossibility. “If you two ever need a big old romantic meal you know where to knock, but don’t let me shoot the fuckin’ gun too early because you gotta take things at your own pace. Hey! Speaking of meals…”
He freed Rose, leaving her to keep her own balance on his leg, and began to rummage into the horn pile. After a while he pulled out a pool noodle, then a horn with its bulb entirely covered in ketchep, then last of all a hot dog, which he passed to her. Sure enough, it was one of her original order that had been left aside as nausea set in. Rose could not help but giggle as she looked at it, only partially thanks to Jade’s expression.
“…Please,” Jade said. “Please tell me it’s a Bard power to pull food from nowhere.”
“Hah!” Gamzee said, still rummaging about. “Maybe! …Fuck, I can’t find the other dogs,” he said, which was disconcerting because Rose knew there were at least a dozen. “But I got a granola bar if you want, juggalette.”
“Are you really going to eat that?” Jade asked, taking the granola bar from Gamzee unconsciously as she looked at Rose’s hot dog like it was going to explode with salmonella on contact with a tooth.
“Gonna warm it first,” Rose said, savouring the look before captchaloguing her lunch. “Thanks a lot, Gamzee,” she said with a parting pat on his leg. Until the pat, which lurched him awake, Gamzee had been smiling crookedly towards Jade just as he had been since he had handed her the granola bar, and Rose was not sure if he was staring or if he had simply forgotten to start doing anything else. “I think Jade and I are going to go find a seat that’ll let you get your face on, what do you say?”
“Sounds like a fucking plan to me, Rosie! You just drop on over if you wanna chat, my door is always… uh…” He looked around, astonished first of all by Eridan and Nepeta’s ongoing scuffle, but then by the room that existed steps beyond his horn pile in general, to the point of mouthing “…fUuUuCk…” Jade and Rose had to excuse themselves.
“You two seemed… chummy,” Jade said, and with a reassuring giggle seemed to return to normal.
“What?” Rose said with a laugh. She pointed to the granola bar to remind Jade, and she did get around to it eventually. Without a declared destination, they both gravitated as per normal toward the couch, though Rose did consider heading over to bother the boys, who were discussing their bets on the recently resolved Nepeta and Eridan match. John put a bet on Vriska not letting Eridan back to read over her and Tavros’ shoulder, and Vriska acknowledged with a wink, grin and a kick of Eridan’s already toppled chair into Equius’ far corner. “Gamzee’s really nice!” Rose continued as they settled down. “He’s not exactly… erudite but he’s really… really…” Rose was at a loss for adjectives, but in a way she could not express to Jade, that seemed somehow more appropriate than any of them. “…you’d like him!” she said instead.
“I do like him!” Jade insisted, “just not when he’s appearing under me like some sort of horn-sea monster.”
Rose laughed, but could not resist to add: “…He thinks you’re cute.”
Jade did not seem to parse that at first. “…Nooooo,” she said, disbelieving, and swatted Rose with her sleeve again.
“I’m serious!” Rose said. “It was either you or John, and if you’ve talked to him lately, it’s definitely you.”
Jade rolled her eyes, but after a pause smiled slightly and said “He is really nice though. When he focuses.” Another pause, and then: “And he’s got arms and legs like whoa.”
Rose laughed as Jade grabbed her shoulder the way Gamzee had. “Acrobat, you know?” she said, and Jade nodded. “Rawr.”
“Hush!” Jade scolded. “I’m not…”
Jade stopped and looked over Rose’s shoulder, past the arm of the couch. Rose turned and immediately caught sight of motion in the corner of her eye. Facing the arm proper, she saw two felt eyes looking up at her, and two yellow eyes in the shadows below that.
“How’s it going, Nepeta?” she asked.
“Yoooooou…” Nepeta said, peering up for a better angle as she stretched the word, and then all at once: “made a kitty sound.”
“…Yes?”
Nepeta flopped up onto the couch’s arm with her own, head in one hand. “Why?”
“I…” she looked over to Jade, who did not dare signal a response. When Rose looked back, she saw Nepeta’s wide eyes turn slowly back from Jade toward her and then rapidly about, toward Eridan, whose attempts to recover his chair ended with it being kicked back out of his hand. “…I was teasing Jade about boys.”
“ooooooh” said Nepeta, who immediately began to try to climb onto all fours on the narrow couch arm.
“And I was just about to tell Rose…” Jade said, leaning over to help in case Nepeta toppled, though she did not. “…that I’m not interested in dating right now.”
“Right,” said Nepeta, teetering forward. “I’m not a’sposed’ta make suggestions.”
“Well, that’s fair,” Rose said to Jade, but anything else she had planned to say was interrupted when Nepeta through herself across both of their laps. Without explanation she stretched and rolled over, hands by her face and belly exposed. She only shifted to pull her sleeves down past her hands so that she could beg properly. Rose did not have to ask, and immediately reached down to rub Nepeta’s belly with a roll of her eyes. Jade silently laughed at her and, pulling back her own sleeves, scratched her friend behind the ears.
Rose was not really sure what she had expected when she reached down to pat Nepeta, except the poor attempt to feign purring. After all, she was a pre-moult Troll girl, and Rose had touched Kanaya often enough (accidentally, playfully, or for taking measurements) to know what that should have felt like. But Nepeta was different. Her stomach was a firm knot of muscles not belied by her baby face; her limbs were stronger than one would guess from her tiny frame and her baggy clothes to add to the disguise. Though her behaviour was perfect kitten, Rose had no doubt that Nepeta could have held her there if she really wanted to, even if her advantage in levels was drawn equal. Inwardly, Rose gained a modicum of respect for Eridan, or at least for his gall.
“Mmm…” Nepeta said, stretched her arms above her shoulders and settling them around Jade’s waist. “…I like humans.” She added sleepily.
Rose did not have time to ask why the emphasis. Behind her, she had previously caught the sound of the transportalizer, and after it sounded again the two parties immediately picked up their temporarily abandoned argument.
“I insist on knowing how you suffered these injuries. This should not be a matter of such secrecy when it could mean our lives.”
“It doesn’t mean our lives, Equius, though if you keep this up it might mean yours!”
Nepeta had perked up at the sound of Equius’ voice and sat up straight in Rose’s lap. Her moirail stood away from the transportalizer, arms crossed and an oil-sopped rag in his left hand.
“Are you…” And his characteristic sweating began. “…And it would be just like I would expect from a putrescent low-blooded—”
“Yeah, ‘putrescent,’ thank you, I forgot that I had died.” Aradia, with her left arm marked with a strange set of weld marks and clean, new metal, closed the gap between them with as fierce a scowl her facial mechanics could muster. “What am I doing that’s so ‘low-blooded,’ Equius?”
The sweating doubled. “Are you… cheating on me?”
“Cheating on you?” Aradia stalled, trying to come up with a response. Rose understood. She figured that if your kismesis asked you if you were cheating, it would be impolite to say anything but ‘yes’ but even more impolite to be telling the truth.
“W-with Strider,” Equius stammered. Vriska’s gasp at the theatrics called the others to attention, and he continued. “You said you were off with him when you suffered that injury, don’t deny it!”
The other Trolls were glued now, Karkat and Kanaya’s conversation interrupted by periodic glances in the direction of the fight, Gamzee with one sock on and the other off. Even John looked on as Dave tried to look interested in counting ceiling tiles.
“Well I guess you caught me, Equius,” she said, and even though he really should have expected that, Equius barred his teeth with a soft crack.
Nepeta frowned a determined, tiny frown and threw herself back to Jade and Rose’s laps.
“…hate her,” she mumbled. Jade and Rose instinctively started to scratch her back. Nepeta rubbed her head into Jade’s stomach like a pillow in thanks, but peered up at Rose in surprise when she realized she had a hand in as well.
“Sweetie,” Rose said, not intentionally going for the diminutive but unable to help it, given her behaviour. “They’re not doing anything they don’t want to do. These sort of fights probably mean a lot to them!”
Rose really believed what she was saying: Aradia was making it very easy with the enthusiasm she used to describe her and Dave’s lurid black affair. “Humans don’t have much for pain tolerance, Equius, but I’ve probably got the best one. And thanks to you he can be just as r0ugh as he wants with with me” and “You’d be surprised what you can do with an hour, especially if you can do it over and over and over again.” The reactions of the other Trolls were like they were watching a spectator sport, this public humiliation of a kismesis. Feferi, in addition to the look that normally on her face those days when she saw Aradia, seemed more in to it than all of them put together, hands clutched tight at her mouth. Nepeta made a sound that was probably supposed to be deep, throaty feline growl, but she screwed it up and it came out more like a broken cry.
“He doesn’t hate her,” she said. “He really likes her! So he does all sorts of nice stuff for her an’… an’… She doesn’t have to love him back but she could at least say ‘thank you!’” And then the sound again, as Aradia started to describe kissing with the ‘human tongue’ in terms a touch too complimentary. Nepeta pulled down her hat down over her ears. Rose looked up plaintively toward Jade, who gave as tiny a shrug as she could risk with Nepeta only just looking away.
“I don’t understand him… ah, as well as she does, Rose.” She reached down under Nepeta’s fingers and scratched her again behind the ears, which seemed to calm her down immensely. Nepeta’s grateful smile was more humanoid or emotional than anything Rose had seen her do all day. “For what it’s worth, Nepeta, I don’t think Dave actually likes blackrom any more than you.”
“Yeah,” Rose said. “She’s not… she’s not cheating on Equius.” At least.
“I know…” Nepeta said, risking a look back at the fight. “’m not stupid.”
Equius had just finished his apparently triple-forced response to Aradia’s monologue, which just barely broke past his mixed embarrassment and intrigue. “…I don’t have to stand for this… this… cuckoldry!”
And it was Dave who laughed, breaking out of his self-enforced neutrality. “Oh man, horsebits. Only you.”
And Aradia grinned at him, an idea coming to fore that sparkled even in her robotic eyes. She closed with Dave before he could fully raise a finger of protest and locked him at the lips. At first Equius was prepared to react with a sigh and a touch more perspiration, this being fully expected, but he and the others changed their tune when Dave decided to get in on the act and kissed back with a black passion. Aradia played in turn, taking on the weakened persona she had made up moments before and clasped his hand in hers, letting him crush the cosmetic covering on her fingers with an aluminum crunch. John jumped aside at the sight of them, muttering “F-fuck, man,” and hopped over to what only to him and Tavros amounted to the relative safety of Vriska. Equius was livid.
When Dave parted the kiss, Rose thought she heard a short giggle slip from Aradia’s mouth, and Dave freed her damaged hand to hold up the finger he had tried to ready prior. “Don’t you make me a part of this,” he whispered.
“He’ll work it out eventually,” she said back. She turned back to Equius who was breathing heavily just to stay standing, kissed some fingers on the hand her secret Red lover had damaged and touched it to his lips. “Don’t worry, you. I’ll fix it myself. …I’m used to it.” Equius’ only response was to squeeze his tough, leather oil rag so hard that Rose thought she heard it tearing.
Aradia returned to her seat, and Feferi caught her breath when she realized she was there, just a seat away. Sollux stopped his lesson, and even Aradia stopped to see what was going to come.
“…Princess?” she asked, when nothing did.
“I…” but Feferi’s courage seemed to fade when Equius returned and took Eridan’s chair, temporarily abandoned by the pile of spare parts when Eridan had stopped to watch the fight. Eridan slumped off to steal Terezi’s chair, instead. “…nothing,” Feferi said, her voice shrunk away like a mouse, almost entirely silent. Aradia did not hide her confusion in the look she shot to Sollux, who could only shrug in reply before leaning over his matesprit and starting a fervent conversation.
But Nepeta’s reaction was the strangest. Close enough to the couch to overhear Dave and Aradia’s quiet exchange, she gasped a ninja’s gasp and plucked her tablet from her inventory and began working at a furious pace. Rose looked over her shoulder and noticed her highlight “AA <3 TG” with a series of increasingly enthusiastic question marks.
“But…” Jade said, breaking away from trying to shoot Dave a meaningful look, “I thought you hated her.”
Nepeta looked up at both girls with exasperation. “I don’t hate Dave,” she said, with a roll of her eyes.
Last edited by SkaianRedeemer; 01-22-2011 at 12:53 PM.
--Censored Version--
Two sex jokes were removed from Part 11b to keep the fic in line for the forums. If it means that much to you, they can be found in the A03 copy of this fic.
“Unbelievable.”
Rose and the others turned about and realized they were not alone in checking the shipping charts. Karkat had returned, and looked grimly at them and then the rest of the room. Only a few ignored their fearless leader at first, but none when he stomped his foot with an echo Rose would not have expected. “Disgusting!” he said, mostly to keep their interest. “You shit-punks have spent the last twenty-odd days with nothing to do but cozy up to one another and all we see from it is a bunch of segmented romances by cowards that don’t want to pry out of their favourite quadrants!”
“Uh…” Tavros spoke for everyone: “…what?”
“I’m talking about this display right here!” he swept his arms at all of them. “You like the look of blackrom, bitches? Here’s a funny idea, oh, I don’t know, GET YOUR OWN! Good fuck, people, it’s not like I expected you to fall into place the moment we had a few week’s calm but you’d think you’ve all gone so far north or south on the relationship scale that you forgot the rest of it existed! And you!” He rounded on Nepeta. “Acting all afraid of it,” he said, in angry speaking tone. Nepeta knew Karkat well enough to take it, but Rose didn’t appreciate him hitting her when she was down. To the rest of the group and at his usual speaking volume, Karkat raged: “This used to be a point of pride! ‘Even our hate makes us stronger!’”
Feferi, who Sollux had tried to return to coding instructions, turned back over her shoulder. “Oh, don’t quote her, Karkat!”
“Yeah, not cool,” Vriska said, and Rose thought she saw a curious murmur and series of nods go about the room before Karkat snuffed it.
“I’m serious!” Karkat stepped towards Feferi as he spoke, taking the middle of the room as his stage. “At first I thought it was the Humans, but no. No! They even understand this better than you! God knows what we’ll do without them!”
What we will. That cut, and Karkat did not seem to realize it. Dave did not react but John and Jade, who had been looking away and hoping the conversation would not turn in their direction, looked up with immediate surprise. Rose, seeing a worrying lack of surprise on the faces of the Trolls, tossed a look instead to Kanaya, who could only frown.
“Now just look, who in here has even bothered to fill a quadrant on both sides of Red and Black? There’s me—”
A loud cough, loud enough even to overcome even Karkat, cut him off. He turned to the transportalizer to see Terezi, her cane held in an offensive grip as she tapped it against the floor. She could not have been there long, but the look of disgust on her face spoke to ‘long enough.’ Rose did not think Karkat really appreciated the depth of it, but before it could come to a boil, Terezi looked over at Rose and a grin invaded her frown and pushed it away. She turned instead to the horn pile and sat down beside Gamzee.
“Darling,” she greeted.
“’Sup bra?”
Terezi reached into her pocket and pulled out a canister. “I replaced those face paints I spilled.”
“Wicked,” Gamzee said, accepting the gift. “That was an awful hot dog,” he added. Karkat looked on, stupefied, no doubt still remembering Rose’s out-of-context comment about them ‘breaking up’ the night before.
“I believe,” Terezi said, “you were making a terrible speech?”
Karkat was nothing if not stubborn. “…Me…” he said, once again counting off on his fingers.
Dave, who was again checking out the ceiling, said: “John don’t count either, man.”
“Oh, well, then I stand corrected,” Karkat said, to John’s confusion, and Karkat returned his count to one: “ME.” Dave just shook his head. “…Aradia, and Rose. There isn’t a single biological Troll but your fearless leader in both Black and Red.”
“Thanks a lot, Karkat,” Aradia said as she plugged herself into her computer.
“This isn’t just about romance, you know,” he said. “This is about Troll fucking Pride, and I’d at least like to see some of you shits pretending to care. Think of what we’ll become, eh?” He vaulted over the arm of the couch to save on two steps of walking and landed in front of the DVDs, which he began to rifle through.
“Uh, Karkat?” Rose said. “I know we’ve been pinned down by the housecat here, but don’t you think we were gonna use that?”
“I’m not watching the movie,” he said, finding the disc he wanted and loading it.
A few legal messages went by, and the disc immediately filtered into the traditional first feature: the attached propaganda. But this one was different. Rose immediately noticed the lack of the usual soothing, after-school-special voice of the government’s favourite host. There was no sign of the comfortable looking fellow that peppered his bright messages for Alternia’s youth with jovial culling threats and cash incentives to turn in mutants; the man John had dubbed “Troll McClure.” Instead, the propaganda began with an overhead shot of a mass rally or procession, with all of the participants arranged in odd geometric shapes: hexagons or rounded stars with spiked points that Rose recognized from the fortress designs used in Europe before the first World War. The camera zoomed in to give Rose her first sight of the Troll Empire, dressed for war.
“Look at ‘em,” Karkat said to the video’s new audience. “Ready. Primed. These were Trolls! Jackasses, yes! But Trolls!”
They were dressed in camo, a land force of some sort, and each equipped with a heavy laser rifle and an unnecessary hand weapon held by the belt that Rose could not make out thanks to high camera shots. They had no ammunition belts or grenades, but worn-in marks on their uniforms that even Troll detergent could not remove showed that they had simply been removed for the demonstration. Some held flags or traditional unit banners, commanders wore their blood colour proudly no their cuffs, none below Green. They stood in formation tall and proud, like they were born to be there, but their kits spoke different as their ancient marching order was disrupted by the heavy guns. They squirmed as soon as the camera looked away but held firm when they were in frame, knowing their greatest weapon was in that propaganda, the symbolism of their ranks in the minds of the young Trolls watching on Alternia. Above them rose a thicket of horns of every shape and size, and the camera shot low above this thicket as often as possible, to emphasize over and again that the almighty force was made of Trolls first and above all.
And then it cut to her, and she began to speak.
“There she is,” said Eridan, somewhere behind the couch, but Rose did not look away. She could not help it. It was not magic or anything she had known even from Sburb, but simple pure charisma that hung on ear and eye from everything that came to Rose from Her Empress of the Eternal Thunder. She was saying something about the opening of the breeding season, but Rose was not listening. This woman was unbelievable to her. Not beautiful: in truth as well as flattery she preferred Kanaya in more than a few ways. But she had presence and magnitude. Her double trident shone in the light even though it looked like was made only of base, practical metal. Rose turned away and took a good look at Eridan, who looked up at the screen in a similar hypnotism. Mentally she tried to compare him to Tavros. Was it possible this was an aquatic Troll thing? Perhaps just the females? Would Feferi moult and strike her in exactly this same way?
“God dammed bitch,” Eridan said.
“You said it,” chimed Karkat. If he had had a point when he had started this video, the Empress had distracted it out of memory. “Take a look Ebert,” he said to John. “My first hate!” John looked – goodness knows he could not look away any more than the rest of them. “Fucking bitch turned Trolldom to shit, and we were gonna tear her a new one. Would have been quite a life.”
“Guys,” said Feferi, somewhere further away in the back than she had seemed before. “Turn her off, for glub’s sake.”
But the camera had cut to a new angle, and Rose had a question she had to ask. “Who are… those?”
“Her family,” Karkat said. “Breeding season after all. I mean, I doubt they ever did, why risk all that nice pink blood being hereditary? Probably mixed bleach in with the stuff before handing it off to the drones.”
Rose nodded, and the pieces sort of fell into place. Looking at them, she felt she could identify the Empress’ partners at a glance. The matesprit: a male Troll, purple blooded in his finery, who held the Empress’ free hand. The moirail: a stunning woman, more attractive than her partner by degrees, in brilliant but duller pink than the Empress and the trappings that lined the stage. Her kismesis: a Green sitting slump on the floor, chained and bound to a purple-blooded male auspistice who looked like he was trying to yank him to his feet whenever the camera was looking away. The kismesis was slumped and casual, and tended to roll his eyes or puppet the speech being given at his back.
Karkat knew the family intimately and led a tour with Eridan’s colour commentary, now all irrelevant and historical though they had once so clearly preoccupied Karkat’s mind. “And that lucky son of a bitch is a pirate that right out attacked the flagship one day and had her on a chase for three sweeps. Took off part of her finger one time, I heard.”
Eridan piped up. “I heard that when they finally caught him alive, he woke up chained in her bedroom with no sopor for five days.” And Karkat laughed at that, a hearty and healthy laugh Rose had never heard from him even when he was teasing John, and he slapped Eridan hard on the back. He was happier than any of the Humans had ever seen.
“…Hey!” he said suddenly. “Hey! We never said goodbye!”
Rose looked around and saw that he had again secured all the others’ attention, even Aradia’s, and their reaction was one of excitement against the Human’s confusion. Rose felt like she was intruding on something that didn’t concern her, that she really had no right to be a part of. Nepeta outright sat up and got up to Karkat’s side, bouncing. Sollux seeming intrigued as he typed behind his back with only one hand; only Feferi looked down.
“Karkat,” she said, “we really don’t have to do this.”
“Yeah, yeah we do!” And the others nodded or chimed agreement. “I mean, we won, she’s dead!” The others cheered agreement. “We swore, remember? We swore that one day all of us that were still alive would get and say goodbye to this bitch and all of her horseshit! Well that’s now, Fef.”
The others were babbling their agreement, voicing their buried surprise that of course, the Empress was dead, wasn’t she? It did not seem to have occurred to any of them. Feferi sighed but nodded a slow consent, saying “Fine, Karkat, fine,” and he went back to the DVDs with energy to spare and began to fast-forward through the propaganda. The other Trolls, even Vriska, bubbled with energy as they waited, boiling with a revolutionary fervour that Kanaya had only hinted at in their early conversations. At the end he hit play and Rose found that an orchestral tune was playing: an anthem in a dead language Rose did not understand.
And the other Trolls began to sing. The Trolls on the screen sang in a hollow chorus, but there in the lab the Trolls replied with the anarchy that fed their past lives as revolutionaries: this, it would seem, was there goodbye. Gamzee sang in warbling verse, and Terezi, cooled toward Karkat at this big of lost nostalgia, hung an arm over Gamzee’s back and rocked them back and forth as she sang in dirge. Even Aradia sang, softy. Kanaya and Sollux sang with ironic smiles, Equius with a diligent enthusiasm. Vriska’s tune was more of a screech, Nepeta a predictable caterwaul, Tavros unconfident as ever and warbling, but they sang all the same. Even Feferi. Rose had never, from the moment they had met and every hour that had followed, seen the twelve of them in that moment of chaotic song in such perfect unity, mocking the anthem of the enemy.
“Unbelievable.” It was John, leaning over the edge of the couch to be heard over the crowd. “I know they said they were never really ‘friends’ but look at ’em!”
“Once upon a time, eh?” Rose said, and he nodded.
“If we could get them like this Jack would run off with his tail between his legs.” And Rose believed it. Even though they were singing victory they looked ready to take on the world. John pulled away. He was thinking, thinking hard, struck with inspiration. “If we could… get them like this again…” he started.
But the song came toward its end, and he trailed off. At that point, all the Trolls in video and real life stood at attention, except for Karkat. Instead, he called out his scythes and dug with it at his fingers before assuming the same position. And at the end of the song the hands went out, fingers splayed on the screen in an Alternian salute. The camera shot low above the thicket of horns to the forest of raised hands, and in the lab they responded.
Rose did not remember quite when they had first discovered the Trolls shared several insulting gestures with them, but she knew it meant the same as it would on Earth when all twelve Trolls, from Karkat to Feferi, raised a different sort of salute to their fallen foes. A mutant trickle of candy red blood spiralled down Karkat’s middle finger, but he was not alone. Terezi, Kanaya, Tavros and Feferi had also pricked themselves at some point during the song, and a rainbow alliance flipped off the magenta stage on the screen. Rose realized then just what she was missing by not understanding this part of their history. This had driven them together, and the symbolism of mixed blood did not go past even her. She wondered if she would ever know the details in full. Her friends held there until the screen went blank and Karkat hit Stop.
There was a dire, mournful pause for a moment, and then a whoop of triumph from Vriksa, followed by a burst of laughter from all corners. And they laughed and laughed, clapping one another on the back and shouting jokes across the room. They were gleeful and invigorated like Rose had never seen; laughing at a past they had lost. The thing that had brought them together once upon a time faded away in celebration of the only victory they had been able to enjoy, trapped in the void, no chance to live.
Karkat called them all back to order with a brief solemnity, as he held up his hands for silence then, like a soldier, bowed toward Feferi. The others, Equius and Eridan with particular enthusiasm, followed. A magenta tear slipped from her eyes. “You guys…” and when she turned toward Sollux she reached out and pushed him back up. “N-no,” she said to him. “That’s not… you don’t have to. None of you have to, don’t be stupid!”
“All right, all right,” Karkat said, standing straight. “You heard the lady, back to you pathetic little lives!”
Vriska’s hand shot up towards him in salute. “Fuck you, sir!” Karkat replied by using her palm for a high five, restoring the jovial atmosphere that had been in the air, and everyone returned to their initial tasks with good humour, save two. Nepeta ran over to Equius and sat immediately in his lap, arms around his neck, and she whispered comfortingly to him, but he calmed her down and soon even she was smiling again.
“You’re a piece of work, do you know that?” Rose greeted Karkat when he returned to the couch. He nodded with unusual serenity, waving at the three humans to heap on more praise. “I’ve got a question for you but I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“Shoot.”
Rose borrowed the remote from him and rewound just a few frames, until she could see the Empress’ stage again. She pointed at one figure in particular, a hulking shadow spiked at almost every free angle, which laboured over two heavy loads. “Is that what I think it is?”
“Ooooh yeah,” Karkat said. “In the flesh.”
Rose adjusted the video to a better shot, and John sucked air through his teeth at the first sight of an Imperial Drone.
“Is that why you’re so worried about everyone’s breeding habits?” Rose asked. “Because you don’t have drones to scare them into line?”
“Mostly,” Karkat admitted. “What about it? That’s a leader’s job, right?”
“Yeah, I realize. What are you going to do without them?”
Karkat returned a haughty laugh, much more like his usual laughs than the happiness he had shown before. Even his scowl was returning. “You worried that I’m going to come burst down your and Kan’s door eight years from now? Show up on Strider and Medigo’s porch and hope either of them can give me a damn usable thing? Yeah, I know, they’re totally flushed. Spare me, I’m the relationship king, remember? Hope you were getting your hopes up on him, Harley.”
Jade rolled her eyes. “I’m happy for them, Karkat, thanks for your concern.”
“Okay, okay, that was uncalled for, I’m sorry.” Karkat seemed to mean it. He even reached over to apologetically pat her shoulder, though Rose wondered if that was the celebratory atmosphere or if it was just Jade that was reigning him in. “But yeah, I guess we do need some sort of reminder, even if we end up using ecto for the rest of forever. Whatever. No trouble, I’ve got a plan. You know me.” He got up and faced the others, slumped against the couch. “Check this out: we’re Trolls, and we’re naturally afraid of the drones. In three or four sweeps I’ll just pick whoever grew up looking the most like a drone to scare everyone into line. That’d be fantastic, because dealing with these shits once was already enough.” He added with a laugh: “These people are brick fucking wal…”
And then he got an idea. Rose could still see his face in profile and saw the inkling come to life in his eyes and a smile grow on his face, curling up first at the edges and spreading through his entire face. The more it grew the more comfortable he looked with it and soon some of those nearby began to notice his strange behaviour, their attention perhaps drawn by his use of the word “drone.” When he spoke again, it was clear and loud enough to be heard across all the other speakers clear to the other end of the room.
“Yeah,” he said. “I’ll just pick one of us to be the new drone. I figure we’ll go with, I don’t know… whoever has the most… horns.”
The room fell still as they realized what he was talking about, but a wave of giggling followed when they decoded his intent. Nepeta got up from Equius’ lap so that she could peer properly in the right direction, and the crept over to whisper to Tavros. Rose was not certain, but she thought she heard laughter and the B-word being passed along the room like a hot potato. Soon, the only sound in the room that wasn’t at a conspiratorial volume was the sound of typing. Typing that slowed, and slowed, and finally stopped all together.
“…no”
Karkat’s smile got even larger. “Sollux, c’mon, we’re friends, right?”
“No, no, fucking no, Karkat!” He rounded and stood to face his friend.
Karkat stepped forward as he spoke, arms casually behind his back. “No what, Sollux? Doing a service to your matesprit here in running the new world, I mean, I think that’s downright patriotic!”
Sollux tried to protest: “‘No,’ as in ‘No, I don’t want to hold your fucking buck—’”
But Feferi suddenly reached out and held him by the arm. “Please? PL-------EAS-E?” Sollux jolted at the force she used to tug at him. “This is really important! And…” she lowered her voice. “And I’m not… Sollux, I’m not really going to be comfortable to tell everyone else to breed.”
Sollux was wide-eyed: the two people that would normally be his first lines of defence had turned on him! “Feferi, he’s talking about thweepth from now!”
Without letting go of his hand, Feferi’s swapped out her demeanour for one more “head of state”: “I’ll have you know,” she said, dignified and sitting straight, “that I’m not just carping on this as an official matter. After all, I’m going to need time to groom you for the position.”
“Yeah,” chimed Karkat, Vriska, who laughing herself into a fit, joining him mid-sentence and matching almost word for word: “I bet you will.” Feferi did her very best to hold a demure, even loving smile, but she was a natural giggler and it was clear from her boyfriend’s expression that she would not be able to long hold out.
Equius took to his feet. “Now if I may say something—” and was immediately called at by almost the entire crowd to shut up, including Gamzee who, despite the fact that Equius was standing on the opposite side of the couple from him, shouted: “Down in front!”
Equius paused but otherwise ignored them: “Now I’m being serious,” he started.
Eridan interrupted: “We know!”
Equius ignored him too: “But you do must realize that, excuse me, Princess: things taking their natural course, this man will be our Prince Consort one day in the future. Is that really the kind of public figure you want digging around in our… our…”
Sollux hung his head, and Feferi reached up and wrapped both hands about the one she held and pulled it to her lips, to kiss his fingertips and bury her laughter. It was Terezi who chose to respond.
“Equius, would you towel off and do some math? If we do get out of here alive, we’re all going to have to do double duty to pull things back together.”
A chorus of agreement went through the room that made Equius return to his seat, but as the others were talking about which chores they hoped they would land, Feferi continued to speak to Sollux.
“Do you really not want to?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” he replied. “I jutht can’t imagine...”
“I know,” she said, “you don’t like new projects interrupting your schedule. But you’d only work a few days a year, and... we need this. We can’t act like we can wait until Kanaya and rounds everyone up into kismeses. She’ll drop dead from exhaustion. I mean, maybe Rose will could help, that’d be wonderful, but I can’t act like she’s going to be there no matter what. The Humans have their own lives coming up, you know.”
Rose immediately wished she had not heard that. She was briefly elated that Feferi, in her regal, official form, thought she could count on her to do auspisticing. But that was smothered by the heavy weight that Feferi thought she would just up and leave the Trolls as soon as they were settled in their new lives. Rose rubbed at the back of her neck, embarrassed and wishing she could say something, and realized at once that Sollux could see her doing it.
“All I’m saying is that, in a few sweeps?” Feferi said, “we’re gonna need someone big and scary just to remind them that there’s a line, and I’d really, really appreciate your help.”
“But I’m not big and thcary,” he muttered, and he reached up to rub his own neck. “…but,” he said. “Thince we’re starting fresh, maybe we can make it… thmart and thcary?” A smile teased on his lips as he whispered: “You know. Jutht this onthe.”
And Feferi gave a great whoop of joy and threw her arms around his neck, pushing he and his chair across the floor and her to her knees, laughing once again at herself. The other trolls looked up to see them, and Rose though she heard Karkat say “Oh, finally” as Feferi hopped over to sit in Sollux’s lap, throwing a fist into the air.
“So you’ll do it?” Karkat asked to confirm.
“Yeth. Fuck.”
“Awesome,” Karkat said, and he clapped his hands once. “Ladies and gentlemen, your new Imperial Drone!” And the others actually did applaud in the end, as Karkat walked away muttering: “I wash my hands of your grubfucking relationship deficiencies!”
But Jade jumped to her feet. “Wait, wait, wait!” She ran up towards Sollux, taking Karkat’s place, and only then realized she had every eye on her. She blushed furiously. “Uh… hi!” She dangled a foot. “Well, you see… when Dave started to duplicate my tower, one of the surviving rooms in the middle of the tower got run over by imps, pretty much in every duplicate. It was the room where Grandpa kept the… uh… automated vacuum system and other… uh, stuff.”
“Oh. Oh god,” said Dave, who immediately turned away. But the other humans caught on as well, Rose trying to hide her laughter behind both hands and John not bothering at all.
“So…” Jade continued. “I just wanted to… give you something to commemorate your new… position! And show that even though this isn’t how Rose or John or Dave and I do things, we still… support you and…”
“Jade,” Dave said, “just do it!”
Jade swallowed hard and retrieved a Strife card from her deck. “…I have the bucketKind specibus.”
The response was immediate and clamorous, louder even than the cheers at the dead Empress, save for Nepeta who only managed to squeak and Equius who looked like he was about to have a heart attack. Rose headed over to Kanaya and she only realized was laughing when she got up close, though she was trying very hard to hide it.
Dave spoke up: “I was picking up every bucket I saw in every duplicate cleaning rooms because I didn’t want to freak any of you out,” he explained. “Jade picked them up, there must have been about, I don’t know, a hundred in that card.”
“Eugh!” shouted Vriska between laughs. Most of the Trolls were laughing now that Equius had recovered (“Hideous! Indescent!”), even Feferi who rubbed Sollux back otherwise supportively and planted intermittent kisses on his brilliant yellow-blushed cheeks.
Jade, her smile showing she was getting into the mood in spite of herself, held up both hands. “And I certainly don’t want it!”
“No!” clamoured the others, even Equius joining in this time. Feferi eventually did get off of Sollux’s lap and gestured to him to take the card. He looked like he was going to be sick, but somewhere along the line, perhaps, he remembered that he had promised to be scary, and he stood up. He stood up not just to the floor but up again onto his desk, then waited for quiet and pointed in a pan at all the other Trolls.
“I want you all to know,” he said. “That you are all, each and every one of you, going two per2onally pay for thii2 one day”
And he snapped up the card from Jade’s outstretched hands to the cheers of his teammates. Karkat, once again satisfied with a job well done, did as he had done earlier that morning and jumped back onto the couch. Jade, catching him do it, ran back to fight him for it, Nepeta soon joining in to help. Sollux returned to the floor and the room returned to normal, even happier than they had been.
“Any chance you’re almost done?” Rose asked Kanaya. In the distance, she saw Karkat get pinned by the girls, who claimed the TV as their own.
“Almost,” she said, watching the others with equal fascination. Terezi and Gamzee were singing another round of some new song. John was talking to poor pinned Karkat. Eridan and Tavros wandered off toward the kitchen and Vriska, left to her own devices, had taken advantage of everyone’s good mood to scooch over toward Aradia, perhaps at last to make that apology Rose had demanded.
Rose smiled at matesprit. “I like your friends,” she said. “I wish I had met them earlier.”
“It’s been sweeps,” Kanaya said, wonder in her eyes, and she smiled before returning to finish up her work. Rose headed over toward the couch to spend away the rest of her time, but found it to be in a more dire mood than she had expected. Jade shuffled through DVDs, specifically cartoons. That did not bode well.
“What’s the matter?” Rose asked.
“I…” John cleared his throat. “Well, I was watching everyone, being all cooperative, working together to jibe Sollux and all. I was just saying that maybe, instead of waiting, we should set a date for, uh… for when we go and fight Jack.”
Rose’s breath caught in her throat. “…Oh.”
“Yeah,” he said, his usual look of doofish leadership in its prime. “I think if everyone’s working towards it, we’ll all be able to get together as a team and… pull it off. Like…”
“Like we haven’t been,” Karkat said from the couch. That hung in the air for a while, the only sound being Jade’s shuffling of cases and Nepeta’s commentary at each vibrant cover as it passed. “Haven’t picked a date yet,” Karkat added.
The mood was interrupted only by cries in the distance.
“uH, wHOA,”
“What the fuck happened to the kitchen?” Eridan shouted.
“Uh…” Rose looked back toward the horn pile, but Terezi and Gamzee had already made their escape. Well, Rose thought, that mood wasn’t going to last forever. “I have to go… help… Kan…”
John looked up. “Why, what’s in the kitchen?”
“Nothing? I don’t know, uh… bread?” Shit! “Well, you know… food.”
“Lalonde…” said Karkat.
“Wow Karkat,” Rose stammered. “You’re not smiling near enough for a handsome guy being pinned down by two pretty girls and… Well, bye!”
“Dammit Lalonde, get back here!”
Rose grinned nervously to Kanaya as she passed. “Boy, you’re impulsive for one night and, what do you know?” (“GET THE HELL BACK HERE!”) “…Date might be delayed a liiiiittle bit longer.” Kanaya waved a laughing goodbye as she left on what, thanks to Terezi’s inappropriately timed sense of justice, would prove to be a fruitless escape.
If you haven’t noticed (don’t worry about it), this chapter bleeds directly into the real-world sections of The Dargon Arc, another fic of mine that’s essentially an extended Squiddles episode. So yes, I’ll confirm here that TDA really does exist in the HiHH universe, even though it’s mostly just an extended Squiddles episode with a twist. Why? …Does writing an extended Squiddles episode sound like something that has a touch of reason in it? Also, it’s there to help me while I do some behind the scene work on HiHH like restructuring the chapter outline and working on a difficult (not long, in fact comparably short) upcoming chapter that’s starting to worry me. So yes. Squiddles.
I have been sitting on this pesterlog since just after Chapter 9/A03 10. It has just been languishing here ever since. The entire exchange between Feferi and Sollux (just the dialogue, along with interjections from the peanut gallery) is even older than that, first appearing, oh hell, somewhere around Chapter 5 or so. The video of the Troll army and Empress is one of the fic’s founding visuals, though I think Conquest has largely circumvented the need by providing a more thorough and entertaining portrayal of the Empire, but I have my reasons for maintaining it.
Last edited by SkaianRedeemer; 01-22-2011 at 03:10 AM.
CG: WOW MAN
CG: THE NERVE OF INSERTING YOURSELF INTO CANON IS PRETTY FUCKING INSANE
CG: WHERE DO YOU EVEN GET OFF
CG: THINKING THAT LITTLE TROLL OF YOURS EVEN MATTERS
CG: HE WAS PROBABLY SOME LITTLE SKIVE THAT SPIDER THEMED BITCH KILLED OFF
CG: IT'S JUST YOU WERE TO MUCH OF A BABY TO COME TO TO TERMS WITH THAT
CG: THAT'S REALLY REALLY SAD
CG: STOP WRITING
CG: JUST STOP
I think the best part is not only has somebody pointed this out to me, but I could totally hear Karkat through their words.
It made so much sense
Name! Tybian Sothoth
Pesterchum handle! solarRavager
You are the Convict of Space in the Land of Prisms and Echo!
It is you
Uh, so I did a thing. Not a proud thing but a thing none the less. This is the first thing I've written in about 3 years I believe. So hopefully It's good.
Feferi Equius btw...
A New Sense of Strong
Feferi had had enough of trying to consul Sollux after the incident of Aradia exploding. His mood swings were getting to be to much to handle. Feferi had returned to the main room of the lab, still covered in debris of her exploded friend and Eridan's computer. Everyone was pretty much back to normal. However quite a few of the others were missing. In fact the only ones left were Gamzee, Karkat, Nepeta, Kanaya, and Eridan. She wondered what had happened to everyone else. She had an idea of what Vriska and Tavros were doing, though she couldn't help but hope he was OK. Deciding she should see what happened to everyone else she approached Karkat.
"Karkat," She yelled , almost scaring him out of his seat. He quickly minimized the current conversation he was having and turned to face her. His face was so bright red that she wondered how he was able to keep his blood color secret so long.
"Wh-what! Can't you see I'm busy," He stammered.
"Sorry, I was just wondering where everyone went."
"Well Terezi was talking to that Dave human. Then ended up crying and ran off."
"Oh no! What happened?"
"I don't know. He probably said something perverted. You should have seen what he said to Tav the first time he talked to him,' He said shuddering at the thought.
"Speaking of Tavros, where is he?"
"I dunno he grabbed his lance and left. Maybe he's finally feeling black feelings for Vriska. He did look pretty pissed."
"I hope he's OK."
"He probably backed down by the time he found her. Besides, I don't think he's stupid enough to actually fight her. Someone who didn't even kill one thing throughout our entire session going against the only one to reach god tier. It's pretty much a death sentence."
"Yeah," Feferi said grimly. " What about Equius?"
"Well after Sollux and you ran off he grabbed something from the debris and I guess went to his room. A little unnerving that he saw the girl he loved explode and doesn't say a damn word."
"Maybe I should go check on him."
"If you want to talk to that creepy asshole go ahead," Karkat said turning back around.
Equius sat on his bed in his room turning a piece of metal over in his hands. Staring at it, but not really focusing. A sudden metallic clang at the door jolted him from his stupor. He hid the metal under a towel on his bed before responding to the disturbance.
"Who is it?" He asked as he stumbled toward the door. Wholeheartedly expecting Nepeta's voice.
"Um," The voice started weakly. "It's Feferi," She said growing louder and more confident toward the end. He was taken aback by this proclamation. Feferi had never really talked to him even pre-session, and the only person to ever visit him was Nepeta. Not even Aradia had been to his room.
"Aradia," The thought struck him with grief that he tried to choke back as he opened the door. Feferi smiled, greeted him, and strolled into his room gracefully avoiding all the towels and other clutter that littered the room. She settled down on his bed almost in the same spot he had been sitting moments prior. Equius closed the door and came to stand in front of her.
"Your highness, why have you come to see someone of such lower blood?"
"There you go already with the blood caste thing. Here sit down. There's no need to be so formal," She patted the spot next to her. Equius reluctantly accepted the offered seat scooting the hidden metal over as he did so.
"I'm sorry your high-" he started.
"And stop calling me 'your highness'. My name is Feferi!" She said cutting him off, causing him to start sweating.
"Sorry Fe-Feferi," He mumbled tripping over the words. "So why are you here?" He finally asked after a short pause.
"I came to see how you were doing. To make sure you were all right after..." She trailed off unsure of how to appropriately bring up the subject.
"I'm fine," He said managing to keep his voice from betraying his words. "Why would I care if someone of such low blood is lost?"
A loud resounding smack followed his words, echoing through the room only being absorbed by the multiple towels lying around.
"How can you say that!?" Feferi yelled holding her hand trying to ignore the stinging pain. "We all know how much you cared about her. You can try to say you didn't and that you only built her that soulbot because you wanted to, but just by looking at her you could tell that you cared for her. The level of detail was much higher than your usual work. You gave her blood to match yours and judging by the way your hair is cut I assume you used your own hair for her."
All of this hit Equius harder than the slap. Each statement stung him harder than the last and caused him to shift heavily; accidentally knocking the stashed metal onto the floor. The scarred and slightly charred piece of metal bore the symbol of their lost friend. It was stained a light shade of blue; far to light to have been from the blood inside her soulbot. Equius let out a surprised yelp as he dived to recover and hide the piece of his lost beloved, losing his sunglasses in the process. Burying the metal in his arms against his chest. Something started streaming down his face, which Feferi thought was sweat at first. It wasn't until he tried to speak that she realized how wrong she was.
"Wh-Why? Why did she go and have to die?" He managed to blurt out between deep breaths and short sobs. Feferi was stunned. The only emotions she had ever seen from Equius were arrogance and annoyance, but here he was completely shattered, crying over his lost love. She realized the blue stain on the metal was most likely from his tears.
"I don't care if our feelings for each other weren't in the same quadrant. I was happy enough with what we had. It's not like anyone would want someone as awkward and strange as me." He looked up at Feferi locking eyes. "Even you probably think I'm a creepy asshole."
She sighed. Unsure how she felt about him now. Originally thinking he was just like Eridan, an angry egotistical jerk, but now she saw that was just a facade to harbor a man who only wants to be accepted and loved. Her perception of Equius had changed; along with her feelings toward him. She placed a hand on his cheek and wiped away a tear with her thumb.
"I'll show you what I think of you," She said softly as she leaned in close tilting her head. Equius instinctively tilted his head to meet her kiss. He was surprised by how warm and soft her lips were; after all the only person he had ever kissed was Aradia and that was after she possessed the soulbot. After separating Feferi gave him a broad smile as a tear ran down her cheek.
"Did I hurt you?" Equius asked panic rising in him.
"No, I'm just so happy your not crying anymore and that I came to check on you," She said half laughing as she wiped the tear away.
He awkwardly smiled back.
"Now come on. Let's go see how everyone else is doing," She said pulling him up from the floor.
"Alright," He said laying the metal on a table as they walked out together hand in hand.
@ PingZing: Baaaw, John/Rose fluff. It's very cute. A nice job. Although, you do seem to jump back and forth between past and present tense a bit. To be honest, I wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't said something in the notes, but you might want to fix that anyway. Otherwise, nicely done.
An occasional fanfic writer and general lurker. -- Chromatica: An Ib-inspired text adventure featuring Homestuck characters
THAT IS NOT SPADES
THERE IS NO CONSENT
THAT IS LIKE SPADES RAPE
TROLLS WOULD BE DISGUSTED
Originally Posted by invalidgriffin
Where do you keep the chips, dB. Can you turn up the air conditioner? Man why is your internet so slow, it is taking forever to download all these seasons of Digimon. YES Digimon is important to the lesbians process will you stop nagging.
Originally Posted by olivia
Originally Posted by Doodled
Eridan: Hunt for fearsome beast
Very fearsome indeed.
got that bitch a wweb-cartoonist. bitches lovve wweb-cartoonists.
Fanfics
Chapter Fics
Thicker Than Blood 01234: It seemed like a pretty straightforward moraillegience. He provided her with food, she protected him from the other rainbow drinkers. Maybe if her old matesprit hadn't gotten involved, it would have stayed that way.
Wizardstuck 12345678910111213141516: The new Hogwarts students just keep getting weirder every year.
Zombiestuck KKEG (1): They thought that the Earth would be empty, ready for them to rebuild and reshape it as they saw fit. They weren't expecting that the meteors wouldn't hit everywhere, or that they might have some nasty side effects. They weren't expecting the Infected.
Don't Press Buttons (1): As usual, John does something stupid. Only this time, the result is that he becomes a troll, and Karkat becomes a human. Shenanigans ensue.
One-Shots
Blood and Noir: I'd fallen for that trap once. I wasn't going to do it again. The Road Ill Traveled: A poem about Karkat and Terezi written in the style of Robert Frost's "The Road Not Traveled". Pixie Trails: Sometimes luck doesn't even factor in. Unovastuck-Karkat vs Throh and Sawk: Apparently, a Sawk is faster than a Throh. Faster than a Braviary too. Karkat finds out the hard way. Kore Wa Troll Desu Ka?: Includes crossdressing and magical girl transformations. Karkat was not pleased. The Lawyer and the Goddess: Vriska and Terezi are having a very important chat when they get interrupted by a certain juggalo. Prompt Dunp: A group of several short fics I wrote based on prompts, including Tavros and Bro sharing tea, Slick talking with Jade about (briefly) hobbits, and Dave finding a birthday gift for Rose. Tears: Getting stabbed in the chest once sucks. Getting stabbed in the chest twice really sucks. Prey: Nepeta is a clever kitty. Yes: In a moment of weakness, Rose consults her magical cue ball. My Little Sis: An alt!kids fic about Bro raising blue!Jade. Based off of MSB's AU roleplay. Funhouse: John really, REALLY doesn't like clowns. Or music by Pink. Ice Cubes: Bro talks to Nanna before his fated battle with Jack. INDIGO and CaNdY rEd: An altblood pesterlog, featuring mutant Gamzee and indigo Karkat. Kantostuck: John wants to be the very best. Like no one ever was. Disease Called Friendship: Karkat has had a bad time with friends. The Demon: Death sometimes comes in the form you'd least expect. Hope: Even the Prince of Hope doesn't understand it. Hoststuck: Yeah, I don't really know either. Coulrophobia: HONK HONK MOTHERFUCKER Do: Killer: He stalks in the darkness, waiting. Waiting. Awaken: It's hard, being a rainbowdrinker. It's hard and no one understands. Kitten: Hearts Boxcars adopts an adorable kitten. Misery Loves Company: Terezi gives the bad news, and finds out some bad news of her own. Tend the Living: Gogdammit Hussie I hate you. Doll: It's actually a very good thing that Vriska allowed Bec to be prototyped. Don't Die On Me: Terezi discovers a new reason to hate Vriska. BL1ND Buddiie2: Sollux consults Terezi on the best method of seeing without sight. Cold: Dave decides to take a little time out to go see Jade.
Rebbe - I read all of those, but oh my goodness, Camaraderie was fantastic.
Seraph - More PurpleDave? Fantastic! I love that Mom has a Don Quixote statue this continuity...
Wigmund - You made me feel sorry for Vriska. Well-played sir, well-played indeed.
Posting something of my own. I had a scene in my head that just wouldn't leave me alone. I don't know if I did it justice, but here it is.
Candlelight and Clockwork
Rose
Somewhere in the periphery of his awareness, John hears a match flare. The acrid smell of briefly burning sulfur rouses him from his stupor, and he groans. He feels the air in the room shift and he catches a whiff of smoke. He feels the ground tremble slightly as the sound of footsteps approaches. A warm hand gently presses against his forehead, and he shivers at the difference in skin temperature. For an instant, the hand feels too cold and dry, before he realizes it's his skin that feels feverish and clammy. He shivers again, uncontrollably this time, and clutches the blanket closer to his chest.
What? A blanket? Where am―
“We wondered when you were going to wake up. I was beginning to fear I would need to take drastic measures."
John opens his eyes and is met with the sight of Rose sitting over him wielding a glass of water and a small smile. He is in a dimly-lit room, with sporadically placed candles providing flickering illumination. Underneath him is an unfamiliar bed, but the room's design and candy-colored light from the gaps in the curtains tell him it's probably Rose's. The flames from the candles make shadows jump and shudder erratically and for a moment, John is certain that Rose's shadow is larger than it should be. In an instant the illusion vanishes and he shakes his head.
“Rose? What's going on?”
“It would appear that in the course of your travels, you neglected to recall the simplest piece of advice given to you by your father regarding cold weather,” she says, and sets the glass down on a table beside the bed.
“What?”
A third voice chimes in from John's left, “He warned you about colds, bro.”
John turns his head and sees Dave leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed, smirking.
“He warned you, dog,” says Rose. John turns to her in surprise. Her expression is desperately trying to hide her amusement, but the twitches at the corners of her mouth give her away.
“I didn't think you'd get in on Dave's, uh...” John trails off.
“Preposterous foolishness?” Rose suggests.
“Ridiculous nuttery?” John says.
“Harebrained hilarity?” Rose returns, grinning.
“Unmitg―“
“Okay, whatever silly thing you're about to say?” Dave cuts in, “Don't say it. I can just see it fucking bubbling up through the cracks in your ridiculous prankstery brain, so you cap that shit right now, or I'm going to contract diabetes this very second. Like, it'll take all the insulin in goddamn Larry King's home and then some just to keep me stable if this gets any more saccharine.”
“Huh? What do you mean, Dave?”
Dave is silent for a moment, nonplussed. He glances at John, then at Rose, then back at John. “...Egbert, you're my best bro, but I cannot believe how dense you are sometimes. Look, Rose, can you handle the explanation? I've got some goddamn temporal cluster-predestination-fuckery to take care of. Apparently. I'll be back in exactly twenty-seven minutes. Or so I hear.” And with that, Dave steps out of the room.
John blinks for a moment and turns to Rose. “'The explanation', huh? Dave makes it sound like some super-secret plan to...I dunno, really!”
Rose leans back and looks up. “Tell me John, what's the last thing you remember before waking up here?”
John pauses for a moment and thinks. “Well, I had just woken up on the battlefield after going to sleep on my Quest Bed thing. And after what I saw in the clouds I...didn't really want to go back to my planet. Not right away, anyway. And since I didn't really know what to do on the battlefield without talking to you, I decided to come here. Oh! Rose, did you know I can fly now?”
“Yes, as a consequence of ascending to the God-tiers and realizing your role as the Heir of Breath. Or perhaps because you're inhabiting your dream self's body, which is capable of flight. I'm not entirely certain.”
“I guess I shouldn't be surprised you know all this,” John laughs. “No one can beat Rose Lalonde in a Seer-off. You are simply the best there is.”
“So what happened after that John?”
“Well, I was...I uh...” John trails off. He frowns and looks down for a moment. “I don't remember.”
“Then allow me to attempt to fill in the gaps. I was watching you through my crystal ball--” Rose pauses for a moment to glare at a snickering John. John holds his hands up in surrender, and Rose continues, “I was watching you fly to my planet when you fell unconscious. You crashed into a sand dune and I found you about ten minutes after that."
“Okay...but what does that have to do with my dad’s advice?”
“John, what does every parent tell their child about going out in cold weather?”
“Uh...don't eat yellow snow?”
“Y-what? No, John. They tell you to dress warmly. Because if you don’t, you’ll catch a cold. Which is strictly speaking, false, as colds are caused by pathogens rather than inclement weather. However, unpleasant weather does have a variety of effects that lead to a higher chance of catching a cold.” John's eyes begin to glaze over. “Regardless, you’ve been traipsing around a windy, chilly planet for quite some time now, and I refuse to believe that an apparently all-cake diet has bolstered your immune system. It’s likely you caught something a few days ago, and it’s just now manifesting,” Rose finished triumphantly.
John nodded. “I guess that makes sense. Except...” He frowned. “If I just hit the God-tier, that means I'm my dream self right now, right? And I think ascending is supposed to heal me...I think it’d be kinda weird if it left me sick!”
Rose’s face fell. “Oh. Yes, I suppose that does make sense. No sense in allowing a player to ascend and then allowing them to be done in by simple illness. Perhaps you’re simply exhausted then? Either way, you’ve got a fever and you fell unconscious a few hundred feet up in the air. It’s a miracle you’re not seriously injured.”
“Oh, why'd you have to bring it up? Now I feel awful again...” says John.
His fever returns in full force, and he fails to repress a shiver that shakes him from head to toe. Alternating waves of heat and chill make him sweat and shiver as he draws the blanket closer to his body and squeezes his eyes shut. He’d been feeling fine while he was speaking, but now that his body has caught up to his mind, it's presenting the bill for damages incurred. Bruises, check. His entire left side is tender whenever he shifts. Soreness, double check. Every limb aches as though he's run a marathon after a championship weightlifting tournament. A buzzing in the back of his head had been gradually transforming into a headache over the course of his time spent awake, and is making its presence known. John is suddenly very grateful for the dimness of the room after he recalls how bright Rose's planet typically is. Speaking of which...
“Rose?”
“Yes, John?” Rose had remained silent as John took stock of his maladies. She leans forward.
“Why are you using candles, anyway? It's not like it's dark outside.”
It's difficult for John to tell in the low light, but he could swear Rose is blushing. Her face remains impassive, but her voice betrays her. “I simply prefer candlelight to the gaudy pastels this planet insists on bombarding its occupants with with.”
John peers at the candle more closely, realizes he's missing his glasses, and finds them on the bedside table. He puts them on and examines the candle before grinning triumphantly. “I knew it!”
Rose looks at the candle herself and raises a single eyebrow, “What, may I ask is it that you knew, John?”
John turns to Rose, trademark full-faced grin present on his face. “Dribbly candles! You're pretending to be a wizard!”
Rose takes a deep breath before she lets out a protracted sigh and gently lowers her face into her palm.
Notes
blah blah blah blah my god I made them talk a lot. I began writing this in present tense and didn't even realize it until halfway through the third paragraph when I realized I'd switched back to past tense. I shrugged and decided I'd give it a try, you be the judge of whether or not it worked.
There is more to this, but it is sadly only partially written. If some things seem under-explained, that's probably why. There will be a second part at the very least.
I wonder if we'll ever have some conversations like those in the comic again. I miss them. Now is all BLUH! BLUH! HUGE DRAMA!!!!
Thanks to your series and others, plus my overactive imagination - I started to think about another good reason for the humans and trolls to merge once they head on to their new world.
It's a bad idea to have two territorial, violent species living next to each other (or even on the same planet) if you want to start new societies for both. They'll end up wiping each other out, and if humans do hold a breeding advantage, it would probably be the trolls who lose out. Especially if multiple human groups decide to team up against their greater foe and go hunting for the troll's breeding pits to slaughter the Mother Grubs and any eggs they can find.
@PingZing: I really liked "I'll be back in exactly twenty-seven minutes. Or so I hear.” That's really got a finger on Dave right now, and it made me laugh.
@Crimson Lunar: Poor Equius! Or maybe lucky Equius, I guess it depends on which half you want to focus on.
@Tybian: Sometimes we all need a little Karkat shouting in our ears! True, true, most of the time we would do better without...
@Doodled: Nooo, keep writing. Or maybe I should congratulate, no one should be stuck up writing at that hour. It's already my curse, there's no need to share it. Anyway, write now!
@Nexev: Oh man, now I'm keepin' everybody up, what the crap?
@Graven: That line almost got cut, even, I always feel lucky when someone likes one that got so close to the chopping block!
@Wigmund: I have a feeling that the Trolls might have turned to the Mother Grubs for a breeding advantage in the first place, but I decided to jibe them by saying they've never had to deal with an opponent like humans before. Either way, I agree with you that the breeding pits are a serious tactical weakness, since the canon Trolls have gone to such extremes to hide Alternia. Like you've said, you've got to account for the day when you stop liking one another. Now me, I've got a lot left to talk about re: their future society in HiHH, but that's for later, for now I'm always just glad to be sparking more ideas!
(if you read chapter 4 when I originally posted it, not much has changed except a bit of the wording. The last section, the one with the BLU Demoman, is new though)
The first thing any Scout learns, assuming they survive their first combat, is never to directly confront an enemy. Always go for the sides or the back, unless they're obviously distracted by someone else.
Johnny remembered this rule as he was flying backward, tossed back as he was by the Ogre's massive flipper.
Beyond his feet, he saw the bridge the short encounter had taken place on fly some distance into the horizon. Oh wait, nope. The horizon just moved. Or... something. Johnny couldn't make sense of directions for a bit, but in his confusion, he wondered. If he had fallen off a bridge, and he was in the Land of Bridges and Darkness, where would he end up? Probably darkness. Or another bridge.
Oh well, he'd find out soon enough.
WHAP.
Dirt?
Oh right. The stuff that connects bridges. Also, buildings.
You can't have a land composed of literally bridges and darkness. It'd be an engineering nightmare. It needs dirt for support. And Johnny had been lucky enough to land on nice, soft dirt instead of a hard metal bridge, a concrete building or thoroughly immaterial darkness.
Johnny shook the stars out of his eyes. He must've been hit harder than he thought.
He got his bearings. Yup, dirt. The immediate area consisted of two facilities; one that he was standing beneath, and another that presently silhouetted a scaly ogre. And oh hey, there was another imp there. He had forgotten about that little guy. He was kind of huddling behind the ogre, but he wouldn't be a bother. The imp would probably be traumatized for the rest of his short life.
The facilities were connected by OH SURPRISE SURPRISE ANOTHER BRIDGE. Johnny thanked his rough upbringing for his athletic abilities and slight build and chuckled to himself, imagining how much trouble Ivan would have been having in this terrain.
Johnny would've given anything for a minigun at that point, though.
So, options. Charge again? Not a great idea. Go back to pistol? Scouts didn't carry a lot of ammo; it was generally dead weight. Try flanking? That would be difficult with the ogre looking right the hell at him.
"Aww, cripes." The ogre gave another roar (fishroar? what?) and began its approach. The ogre stepped onto the intervening bridge while the terrified imp stood frozen, wondering whether to stay near its guardian or run as fast as possible.
Oh hey, there's an idea.
Johnny took out his pistol and took aim. He fired a few paltry shots at the ogre. They got his attention but didn't cause much harm... and again, it just pissed the ogre off. It struck its most intimidating stance, gave yet another roar that was as loud as it was impossible, and prepared to charge.
Then the pistol gave off several sharp retorts and a handful of small-calibur bullets flew between the ogre's legs.
The imp hiding behind took two shots in the abdomen, the rest flying wide. It gave out a weak cry as it was hit, but it didn't burst - there was still some life left. But the cry caught the ogre's attention, causing it to turn around for one crucial second.
Johnny smiled to himself. He had been aiming for the thing's crotch, but that worked just as well.
He gave a cry of "Say goodbye to your kneecaps, chucklehead!" and then demonstrated the second thing any scout learns on the battlefield... a distracted opponent is an opponent that cannot dodge a baseball bat.
A loud crack signalled the shattering of the ogre's left knee. It pawed out feebly at the offending scout, but Johnny had long since moved on to the right. A second crack rang out just moments later. The crippled ogre landed on its back, flailing its arms wildly but unable to move from its position. It was down for the count.
Johnny couldn't get close enough to finish off the ogre - those arms were still working perfectly fine - but incapacitating it was enough. He turned to the imp and began walking toward it, a malicious smile on his face.
Then the imp's stomach popped open and revealed what could only be described as a medicine cabinet full of bullets.
And, uh, medicine.
Johnny heard a loud CLANK behind him and turned just in time to see that the ogre had sprouted a similar mechanical growth. And then he saw the green streams flowing between the two monsters and he made the connection.
The good news was, Dell had just entered the game! The bad news was, Dell had just given every monster in the game a health and ammo dispenser.
Johnny saw that the ogre's legs had begun mending themselves already. So he shot the imp in the face with his scattergun. It finally burst as the others had, and the streams of healing energy stopped flowing abruptly. Dispensers couldn't heal themselves. Problem solved, sort of. The ogre was still there, but there wasn't a chance Johnny could take it down without a stronger weapon, protection from melee attacks, or a lot more ammo. He fired a few more rounds into the ogre's knees to keep it down, and entered the building the monsters had been guarding. It was empty but for a beautiful, glowing circle. About damn time.
OPEN CHATLOG
bS: okay pal
bS: never thought i'd say this
bS: but i apologize.
bS: we have enough dispensers.
bS: we don't need any more.
battaSwing has ceased pestering baconEnthusiast.
-----
You have just helped your friend DELL THE ENGINEER enter the LAND OF DUST AND CHOKEPOINTS. It was a lot less difficult than he made it out to be. You are now watching him on your COMPUTER SCREEN. You are making multiple suggestions as to what he should TIER TWO PROTOTYPE his KERNELSPRITE with, but he is not listening. He seems to have trouble understanding your speech.
This game is so much fun! You can't wait to see what your LAND will look like. The other two ended up in LANDs similar to the bases they were stationed at, and HARVEST BASE happens to be made entirely of WOOD. You think you will very, very much enjoy your turn at this game.
You contact your bestest friend immediately to tell him the news.
OPEN CHATLOG
beautifulPetroleum has started pestering beyondSecrecy.
bP: Shjulo m,hy hgokmkwedokgfsd!
bS: Um.
bM: Ze Pyro! You appear to have INPUT THE WRONG FREQUENCY!
bM: Uh... 8D
bP: SZkil;ly vsapyk, vyou kjnhow OI klmnowe it'sd yupouj.
bM: Ze spy is not available right now! He is, uh.
bM: ELSEWHERE.
bM: D8<
bP: Juisdt getr mwe inm.
bS: Ugh. FINE.
bS: In the absence of any comprehension of your genuine meaning, I assume you wish for me to assist you in entering this...
bS: "Game".
bP: Ywesd.
bS: Non.
bS: I am busy.
bS: Go bother somebody else.
bP: POhgooewyt.
beyondSecrecy has gone offline.
---
beautifulPetroleum has started pestering bloodyDetonation.
bP: YHopu bvuisdyu?
bD: Ach! Alcohol and bombs, aye!
bP: !!!!
bP: SDPYT
bP: SDFEWRKLOM,SANM ISA AS SPYT
bD: I'm soooo drunk you have no idea!
bD: Because I'm a demoman and that's the way I am all the time.
beautifulPetroleum has blocked bloodyDetonation.
---
beautifulPetroleum has started pestering bulletHappy.
bP: TRHJWE SDEM,O,SAM ISD AS SAPYT!!!!!!
bH: HEAVY HAS QUESTION FOR PYRO.
bH: HOW DO YOU EAT WITH MASK ON?
bP: ...
bP: >:Q
bH: WHAT'S THAT PYRO?
bH: YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU GET INTO GAME?
bP: ...
bH: GOOD IDEA!
bH: COMPUTER IS FIXED.
bH: HEAVY FOUND LOTS OF SCRAP METAL.
bH: HEAVY IS KRAFTING MASTER!
bH: LOTS OF EXTRA SANDVICHES.
bH: SANDVICH PLUS DALOKOHS BAR EQVALS LOOSE PIPES, NAILS AND SCREWS!
bH: IS SIMPLE MATH, PYRO.
bP: Fuixcvlk oitr. HGitr mer, UIvcsan.
bH: I WILL NEED HELP WITH THIS, PYRO.
bH: YOU HELPED ENGINEER. YOU ARE CREDIT TO TEAM.
bH: YOU ARE SMART ONE, SO YOU MUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
bP: Fuvclkinmgf SPHYG. SDPHY FDERMO.
bH: SPEAK UP PYRO.
bH: I CANNOT HEAR YOU THROUGH FIRE MASK.
-----
Elsewhere, a man named Alastair Macbain lay dying in a pool of his own blood, a butterfly knife hilt-deep in his back. In his last moments, he found himself thinking philosophical thoughts. This was not an uncommon occurrence; while Alastair was not a philosophical man under normal circumstances, he often found himself full of bullets, shrapnel, alcohol, or some combination thereof, and as a result, his condition could rarely be described as "normal".
But at this point, rather than thinking about things like efficient stickybomb placement or why booze seemed to vanish faster the more you've had of it, he was asking himself what the point of it all was. He had had a long and fulfilling career as a Demoman for the BLU team, but what had he gotten out of it? Plenty of money and an outstanding lifestyle, sure, but what else? He had no romantic relationships, no children, no lasting impact upon the world. All he had that made any bit of difference at that particular point in time was the knife in his back, and that wasn't really "his". It belonged to the RED Spy that had put it there. Here you go, Demoman, hold on to this for me with your vertebrae. I'll be back for it soon. That was how it went. But the spy hadn't asked politely, he just put it there.
And that was surely why the BLU team and the RED team always fought. Because the REDs were pansies, and also they were very impolite.
But really, why did they fight? They weren't so different, Alastair thought. In fact, he noticed, his own uniform was becoming more and more red as time went on. Why couldn't they all be friends?
At that moment, however, Alastair caught movement out the corner of his remaining eye. The spy who had killed him earlier was standing there, enjoying the last bit of his lit cigarette.
"Nothing personal, you understand." He tossed his cigarette butt. It landed in a splatter of Alastair's blood, and the high alcohol content of the liquid combined with the heat of the butt caused a small fire. "I just had to get you out of the way so I could kill every last one of your friends. While wearing your face. You were outclassed, you useless drunk, and you never had a chance of accomplishing this little 'mission' of yours."
What mission? Oh. That mission.
The mission Alastair never knew the details of.
The mission Alastair had been stabbed trying to begin.
The mission Alastair didn't care about anymore because BY GOD that spy had just lit his blood on fire in more ways than one.
A plan began forming in the demoman's mind. It never really formed fully because of various factors that made thinking difficult at the time, but it was as good a plan as any. All that was needed was a badass one-liner. The demoman did the best he could.
"'Ey, spy..."
The spy turned toward him.
"Yer ass is... ass...."
The demoman rolled over onto his back, ignoring the pain of the knife.
"...An' I'm the grass.... man."
And the demoman lit the fuse on one of the many, many explosive devices he had been carrying.
COMMENTARY:
Is this the end for the BLU Demoman? Will our hero make it out of his own explosion? Find out next ti- no he won't. He's dead.
I changed the Heavy's text because it looked too similar to everybody else's. It is now black text. From, uh, really dark blue.
Also, I find that the Pyro's text and the Blu Spy's text look too similar, but I can't decide whether purple (think Feferi purple) is acceptable for a Blu team player.
What do you guys think about the lines I steal from ingame dialog? More of that, or less of that? It makes it feel more authentic but occasionally a little too self-referential, in my opinion. It's hard to strike a balance.
Gonna do more comments on fics tomorrow. I'm procrastinating like crazy on it because it just doesn't feel like I'll ever get done... it takes a really long time to read and comment on every single fic, which is why I only do 3-4 pages per post. I have to work, too. It's tough but I AM DEDICATED.
Last edited by Kerensky287; 01-22-2011 at 08:48 PM.
Proud owner of the most generic corns in the world:
@Doodled (AKA self) Idiot. Karkat's text isn't that light.
Edit: @Kerensky287: You're a genius, you know that?
Originally Posted by SkaianRedeemer
@Doodled: Nooo, keep writing. Or maybe I should congratulate, no one should be stuck up writing at that hour. It's already my curse, there's no need to share it. Anyway, write now!
Oh, so THAT'S who you think I am, huh? Your slave of fan-fictionery? To churn out such atrocious fictions to make yours look even be-
Oh crap here's part 7:
Dead.
"HORR1BL3?!"
The remaining trolls were still gathered in the computer room.
Gamzee's wound had healed moderately...
But without Equius, there would be no hope for another right arm...
"yeah, you're a horriible thleuth."
"TH4T'S NOT-"
"the kiiller ith riight here, and you are jutht doiing NOTHIING!!!"
Tavros looked up, half-expecting Sollux to have just confessed to the murders.
But no. He was pointing right at Eridan.
"oh okay, fine, Sol. you just blame me for evverything, don't you?"
"and you call ME ovver-dramatic..."
Sollux twitched in anger. Vriska instinctively prepared her mind to telepathically settle him down...
But her concentration was in the wrong place.
"i'vve about had it wwith you, sol!"
"your accusations havve gone too far."
Eridan pulled out a legendary piece of shit.
"ThIs Is GeTtInG mOtHeRfUcKiNg CrAzY, mAn. We NeEd To CaLm DoWn..."
Eridan aimed the rifle at Sollux.
"meet ahab's crosshairs, you bipolar wwaste of time!"
Nepeta screamed out in terror, but Sollux was still under Vriska's spell.
He could not move.
Nepeta bolted towards Sollux, tackling him just in time to avoid the incoming blast!
It hit the wall with great force, causing the whole facility to shake, and obliterating the computer of the late Equius Zahhak.
Vriska and Terezi ran over to Eridan, where they struggled over the rifle.
It quickly fell from their grasp, landing just out of reach of Tavros's hands.
Before he could pick it up, however, it started floating.
It started levitating.
It floated right into Sollux's hands.
He took aim.
"you kiilled feferii, diidn't you?"
"you kiilled them all."
"feferii, equiius, kanaya..."
"even aradiia, siince you made her robot!"
"they all had the relatiionthips that you only wiithed you could have."
"you hated them for iit, and when feferii deniied you, you dethided to thtrike back."
"ii don't know why nobody thuthpected you. vriithka can vouch for what happened..."
"but, you're goiing to diie now."
"thiis wiill all be over."
"good-bye, asth-hole."
The other trolls looked on in shocked silence.
Eridan stared, wide-eyed, at his own rifle glaring back at him.
He probably had learned his lesson, but there would not be another cha-
HONK!
Tavros accidentally stepped on one of Gamzee's horns.
Sollux whipped his head around to glare at him with rage!
Eridan, slowly, began to...
RUN AWAY AS FAST AS HE FUCKING COULD!!!
Sollux turned back around.
"oh no, you're not gettiing away that eathily, fuck-asth!"
Sollux fired the beam at the fleeing Eridan.
The monstrous beam of energy slammed into Eridan at full force, pushing him even farther down the hallway.
With a thunderous crash, the facility rumbled, and distant debris began to fall.
Eridan.
He's dead.
The trolls thought through this slowly, as Karkat raged into the room.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN HERE?!"
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE TAINTCHAFFING-GRUB HAPPENED?!"
"THE SCREAMING AND THE QUAKES! SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FU-"
Before he could finish, the situation had become clear.
The rifle in Sollux's hand was still glowing at the tip.
Eridan was nowhere to be seen.
"SOLLUX, DID YO-"
"HeY mOtHeRfUcKeR, yOu MaY wAnT tO mOtHeRfUcKiNg ChIlL..."
Steam came out of Karkat's face in the most horrifyingly literal way.
"H3Y K4RKL3S, C4N 1 T4LK TO YOU FOR 4 MOM3NT?"
Talking to Terezi was simultaneously the first and last thing Karkat wanted to do, but Terezi grabbed him by the shoulder and forced him off.
Nepeta longed to follow, but something deep inside her told her that she shouldn't.
"sO, uHH, iS HE DEAD?"
"yeth, tavroth..."
Sollux whipped off his glasses in the coolest, most hard-boiled way he could think of.
"the kiiller ith dead..."
A/N
So it's the end...
OR IS IT?
DUN DUN DUN!
...
But seriously, I was going to hold off on this happening, but with the recent flash update, it seemed so...
Right. :P
Last edited by Doodled; 01-22-2011 at 04:51 PM.
In dedication to Nepeta Leijon: The best meowrail anyone could ask for AO3TindeckTumblr
You find her sitting outside, of course. Every night for the past three days, she has sat out here and eschewed sleep. Until now nobody has ever followed her, but tonight curiosity won out over sense. You have to know. You have to.
She doesn't reply immediately, doesn't even move. Her back is turned and she's sitting cross-legged on the ash strewn surface of the meteor. Her hood is down, the horn-flaps left unbuttoned and flapping despite there being very little wind. You can hear a slight ticking sound, see a red haze at the edges of your vision.
Finally, a reply. "Yes, Sollux?" There's a distinct echo to her words as always, but her tone is warmer - more alive - than it's ever been.
"You've been out here a lot, Aradia," you mumble. "It'th worrying everyone. It'th worrying me."
"I am busy."
You carefully walk around the aries, giving her a wide berth without really knowing why. Her eyes open and she looks up into your own mismatched ones, and you wonder if she's smiling, or if she is focusing too hard to show it. In the depths of her eyes you see a red glow that on closer inspection sharpens into an elegantly illustrated clock. You realise distantly that she's using her newfound powers.
"Buthy? Doing what?"
To her immense credit, her powers do not waver as she gives you an intense stare. It's not hateful, but it carries a connotation of 'this ought to be obvious'. She elaborates anyway, much to your relief: "I am holding the demon in the heart of Derse. Delaying our destruction. I will release him only once we are ready to face him."
Her words scrub away that newfound relief and replace it with an ice-cold horror.
"You can't keep that up!" you hiss, striding towards her. The Maid of Time's reply is careful, measured,and incredibly focused.
"I can. I must," she says quietly. "I cannot fail."
The shadows under her eyes have darkened to bruises, she's slouched ever so slightly. She's tired, in a word, and you feel a sudden pang of empathy. Her demeanour turns ice-cold again, and the ticking grows louder. You can see a faint maroon glow off in the distance, amongst the violet rubble of what was once Derse.
"Do you want thome company?" you ask, on a spur-of-the-moment decision.
She nods, ever so slightly, and you sit cross-legged next to her.
You find her sitting outside, of course. Every night for the past three days, she has sat out here and eschewed sleep. Until now nobody has ever followed her, but tonight curiosity won out over sense. You have to know. You have to.
She doesn't reply immediately, doesn't even move. Her back is turned and she's sitting cross-legged on the ash strewn surface of the meteor. Her hood is down, the horn-flaps left unbuttoned and flapping despite there being very little wind. You can hear a slight ticking sound, see a red haze at the edges of your vision.
Finally, a reply. "Yes, Sollux?" There's a distinct echo to her words as always, but her tone is warmer - more alive - than it's ever been.
"You've been out here a lot, Aradia," you mumble. "It'th worrying everyone. It'th worrying me."
"I am busy."
You carefully walk around the aries, giving her a wide berth without really knowing why. Her eyes open and she looks up into your own mismatched ones, and you wonder if she's smiling, or if she is focusing too hard to show it. In the depths of her eyes you see a red glow that on closer inspection sharpens into an elegantly illustrated clock. You realise distantly that she's using her newfound powers.
"Buthy? Doing what?"
To her immense credit, her powers do not waver as she gives you an intense stare. It's not hateful, but it carries a connotation of 'this ought to be obvious'. She elaborates anyway, much to your relief: "I am holding the demon in the heart of Derse. Delaying our destruction. I will release him only once we are ready to face him."
Her words scrub away that newfound relief and replace it with an ice-cold horror.
"You can't keep that up!" you hiss, striding towards her. The Maid of Time's reply is careful, measured,and incredibly focused.
"I can. I must," she says quietly. "I cannot fail."
The shadows under her eyes have darkened to bruises, she's slouched ever so slightly. She's tired, in a word, and you feel a sudden pang of empathy. Her demeanour turns ice-cold again, and the ticking grows louder. You can see a faint maroon glow off in the distance, amongst the violet rubble of what was once Derse.
"Do you want thome company?" you ask, on a spur-of-the-moment decision.
She nods, ever so slightly, and you sit cross-legged next to her.
You think Aradia might actually be smiling.
Author's Notes
Hurrdurr is my OTP showing
So... yeah.
Awwwwwww.
In dedication to Nepeta Leijon: The best meowrail anyone could ask for AO3TindeckTumblr
So, maybe this needs a WARNING: The following story contains unstable quantities of Badfic. Radiation levels are at an alltime high. For safety's sake, use speelcheck after reading this story.
And also wash your hands.
HOMESTUCK: A GAME TO END ALL OF THE OTHER GAMES THAT WAS!
jhon egbert who was jade harleys brother was in his bedroom typing on a computor when he got an chat from his chum that said METORS and MAONSTERS were attacking bros place so jhon egbert wet on the platyform to go to skaia where he was in the Land of Wind and Shade. he did a backflip off of his House to get to the Land of FROGS and ICEE THINGS. he walked really fast to the hug tower where he found that Jade was making out with bec noir and also she was a goffic person.
and then bec noir said "get out kid before i stab you" and then jhon said "but she is my sister " and then bec noir felt bad because he was making out with jad harley. so he teleportalizated john egbert out of the black tower and then john was on the LAND OF CLOCKWORK and also LAVA
and dave was there and he was fighting the FINAL BOSS who was also KArkAt. john looked around and saw the gun on the grond and picked it up and shot and the bullets went into the final bosses eye. and then dave kicked the horns off of karkat which made him normal and humen.
karkat said to john and dave that "I AM SAD FROM THE THINGS THAT I HAVE DONE AND I WILL DIE FOR THEM AND THAN THE WORLD WILL BE HAPPY TOO" and john said " noooooooooooooo " and karkat breathed his last breath. and then dave and were happy becuz humenkind was saved from the trolls. but the laugh was over quickly though because then jade harley appeared and shoot dave in the heart. dave said "no, jade why are you doing this thing?????" and jade said back to dave " because I am with JKack Nore and now we are evil too" and then eridan laughed and jade and bec noir both laughed too because they saw that dave was dead.
but john walked away really fast and jade and bec noir couldnt find him because he was hiding in the bushes. and eridan tried to science john out but john was tricky and the science cudnt find him, and then bec noir said "let's have some tee guys" and they left to go to starbucks.
but john was still alive and he said 'I must avenge my friend dave and take my sister jade harely back!" and then he got the hammer and went off to find bec noir.
"It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who has given us freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier, who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag."
-Father Dennis Edward O'Brien/USMC
Courage is endurance for one moment more....
-Unknown Marine Second Lieutenant in Vietnam
Originally Posted by PingZing
Equius btw...
" and then bec noir felt bad because he was making out with jad harley. so he teleportalizated john egbert out of the black tower and then john was on the LAND OF CLOCKWORK and also LAVA
