MSPA Fanfiction IV

[morpheoMancer]

@morpheoMancer
If you really want my - romance you'll have to beat my seven evil exes.

That explains this weird hipster guy who burst through my window and tried to attack me.
Do you mind if the quazzledorf blood is slighty tainted with hipster blood?

[morpheoMancer]

edit: Double post. Also, dead forum.

[Embargo]

EDIT: FUUUUUU- forum prevented me from edits.

Rivalry

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It had been... satisfying, at first. A form of instant gratification that you had welcomed all too easily. But the moment had been far too fleeting for your liking. They had all gone down too easily. A single blast of empirical energy and they were gone, souls stripped from their mortal coils almost instantaneously.

He didn't get to repay them for all the wasted energies, the emotional torment, the endless mocking, the indescribable feelings of lonliness... He'd sat at the epicenter of a whirling hurricane of burning feathers and melting flesh, shooting at angels and watching their bodies rain blood and ash onto the earth. When the seraphim had begun fleeing for their lives, he'd chased them into their temples and razed them to the ground. No where had been safe for them. Not the skies where they once frolicked, not the ground which had been turned into an endless sea of fire, not even their best hidden sanctuaries could protect them from his wrath.

Only total genocide could sate Eridan's need for conflict. It had been easy pickings, after a while. The winged demons were no match for Ahab's Crosshairs, and each kill only strengthened him. But it hadn't been enough. It was never enough.

He descended into the depths of the astroid with his webbed fingers curled tightly around his Wand of White Science. Behind him, his cape stained the floor with the wet blood of his kills. Mossy green blood mixed with navy blue, angry red blood mixed with royal purple, and mustard-yellow... he enjoyed that one the most. Thoughts of each kill flashed across his vision, returning him to that unbelivable high only to for the feeling to to sink again when he came back to reality.

No, he wasn't satisfied just yet.

"Eriiiiiiiidan..."

He swiveled around, wand readied and glowing. The voice had disappeared, leaving only an echo that filled the void around him. He knew that voice. It had been there when he raised holy fires all across his world. It had been there when he battled desperately against Sollux the first time, and bloodthirstily the second time. It had been there when he blasted apart his own kind without hesitation or remorse.

"Vriska, get yer goddamned nook out here! I know you've been watchin' me. You know what I can do, so don't make me tear apart this place lookin' for ya."

That same, infernal laugh filled the air like a chorus. The voice was everywhere, and it spoke with the authority and force of a thousand Vriskas. "Oh my. It looks like my little Eri finally decided to grow up. And look at what a mess you've made with all that blood! It's staining that lame little cape of yours. "

He grinded his teeth in frustration. Vriska was toying with him. She was going to get what was coming to her. "Yer afraid of me now that I have the power of SCIENCE behind me. That's why you won't face me. The only person in the universe who has any hope a beatin' me is Jack, and I should know. I am the Prince of-"

"Yeah, yeah. I get it. You're super hopeful. Good for you." the girl replied sarcastically. Her voice began to lower in pitch and volume with every second. Her presence receeded from the room, retreating into the deepest recesses of the lab. He'd just barely managed to make out her final words as they disappeared with the rest of her voice.

"I'm waiting for you Eridan. Don't disappoint me."

The prince could only smile. "I don't intend to."

[DJ-P0N3]

@morpheoMancer
If you really want my - romance you'll have to beat my seven evil exes.

That explains this weird hipster guy who burst through my window and tried to attack me.
Do you mind if the quazzledorf blood is slighty tainted with hipster blood?

That makes it even better.
-

[sarasvati]

throwing in with all the sadfic. sort of.

how about an eridan introspective piece?!?!

all of a sudden i miss everyone
karkat says he's being an idiot, but this is the smartest he's felt in a long, long time.

this is why i don't write trolls, ever should write trolls all the time

Fix'd.

Just wanted to say, again, that it was beautiful.

noooo never writing trolls again

but thank you!

[Sionnan]

I was screwing around doing some research on the game related aspects of, uh, the game, and came across something that prompted this.

The Exchange

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She looks to him.

And he looks to her.

A flash of understanding passes between them.

It is a gesture of The Game, oft repeated. He holds the box in his thin black hands, watching the light glint off of her in heliographs, and she watches him, the dark sword in her hand weeping blood.

The head of the Brute lies between them, and its round, smooth shape is like an unlikely dot of obsidian amongst the scrabble. Even as Jack feels a pang of regret, the sharp stab of fear, an uncanny wash of deja vu engulfs him. It dances under his carapace, and even though this is the first time he's ever seen something like this, he is somehow flatly unimpressed.

He proffers the simple green box, and she in return hands him the coveted relic.

And with the quiet certainty of the inevitable falling neatly into place, the exchange is passed.

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Also, you lose. HAH!

[Twigwise]

>:[ Sionnan! Ugh, you combine short awesomeness with a constant mental chorus of "Augh, dammit, not again!"

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You're the best, heh. It's fun to remember that the carapaces are bound by chess!

[lucidSeraph]

@Sionnan: I always love it when people actually work chess metaphors in. even though I suck royally at chess.

[Douhneill]

^^ what he said.

[Kassiopeia]

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS

bring me sadfic or bring me death. I need some catharsis.
(and I am hoping this means there will be a reset button of some sort, ajshjg)

[arcaneCalligramancer]

i would but tbh these updates have pretty much soured me on writing for this fandom! (not that, you know, I actually contribute anything, given my writing speed is akin to a sprinting tortoise)

[Graven_Image]

I'm angry right now.

Kanaya is dead, I'm tired, and a memory loss something-or-other just ate the last third or so of this chapter that no longer exists because I NEED TO GO TO BED.

There was going to be a quip here about how long Indystuck is getting, but right now, I'm just happy it's not in a canon that threatens it with AU-idation through the metric crapton of deaths.

So yes, you got gypped out of a segment of Tim because I'm angry and tired. Sorry.

Indystuck

Chapter 22

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"You don't get it, Your Highness! This is not chess! This is a war! A war, I'd think, you have interest in winning!"

"And I don't think you get it, Doctor, how we are already prophesied to win, not by playing according to the rules, but by playing well."

"You are hopeless!"

"And you are getting dangerously close to blasphemy against Derse, Doctor."

"Screw it. I'm leaving."

Clomp, clomp, clomp

The boots of Dr. Fetus echoed against the chamber's marble walls. The Queen, he resolved, was an idiot with too much head for "honor" and not enough common bloody sense.

I mean, seriously. You've got a potentially superpowered Bandage Girl, and the worst you do is put her in a tower? With an imminently-awake clone of Meat Boy? This woman was bats up the freaking belfry.

Not like Jack.

Jack was a good man to have around. As a matter of fact, the Doctor was considering hiring him as a full-time henchman once this brouhaha was over and he got back home. Somehow.

He immediately quashed the line of thought before it got any weirder.

"Hey, Doc. Business as usual?"

"Yeah..."

"..."

"What's with the ring?"

"Dress code."

"Wow. No wonder you hate her so much."

"And the best part? It's only going to get worse."


Farther inward from Derse, but not so far as to leave the airspace of the Medium completely, stood a robot.

His name was spoken in legend in the annals of his island. Now he stood overlooking a landscape glistening with light and color, friend and sprite by his side.

OPEN SPRITELOG

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CURLY: }So, where did that portal in the Egg Corridor take us?
KINGSPRITE: This is Quote's land, the Land of Light and Technology.
KINGSPRITE: There are others like it here, but this one is uniquely made to suit him.
KINGSPRITE: Here, he will undergo a journey that will transform him and leave him a better man, or uh, a better robot for the experience
CURLY: }That sounds dangerous.
KINGSPRITE: Well, he'll have you along.
CURLY: }He will?
QUOTE: ...?
KINGSPRITE: Well, he's not going to get anywhere with a speech impediment like that one.
KINGSPRITE: You're going to have to make nice with the locals.
KINGSPRITE: Who knows, maybe he'll finally get over it by the time this is through.
CURLY: }Hey, I see someone coming.
CURLY: }It looks like...
CURLY: }A mimiga!
QUOTE: o.O ...!!
KINGSPRITE: That would be the welcoming committee.
KINGSPRITE: Go make nice, kiddies. I have to watch over the island.
KINGSPRITE: Ta-ta.

OPEN CONSORTLOG

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??: Umm, hello.
CURLY: }Hi there!
CURLY: }Who are you?
??: N-no one.
??: Tell me, are you the Warrior?
CURLY: }Well, I'm a warrior.
CURLY: }Why do you ask?
??: It's just...
??: My village has run afoul of some verminous monsters.
??: And if you are the Warrior, you can help us.
CURLY: }Sounds like a plan!
CURLY: }C'mon, Quote! Just like old times, right?
QUOTE: /:\
CURLY: }Oh, don't give me that look.
CURLY: }This'll be FUN!

[draconicAlgorithm]

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS

bring me sadfic or bring me death. I need some catharsis.
(and I am hoping this means there will be a reset button of some sort, ajshjg)

I'm too busy making a hollow, despondent keening noise of pure melancholy to coherently write anything.

[cynicface]

God, guys, that update is actually making me shake a little. I think I'm grieving for a fictional character.

Rotting Rainbows

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As the body of your friend falls to the floor with a sick thud you loosen your death grip on the wand and hold it lightly by your side. Sollux is slumped against the wall, either dead or close enough, his mustard blood staining dingy gray paint. That smug, self-deprecating piece of shit. He deserved it. Feferi’s body is silent on the horn pile now, her eyes unseeing as thick maroon liquid seeps into silvery funnels. That obnoxious bitch always took you for granted, just like the rest of them. She deserved it too. And now Kanaya’s body leaks jade blood onto the cold tile, looking almost peaceful save for the gaping green wound in her stomach. She... she stood in your way. It’s not her fucking peasant right to do something like that. Her death is a little harder to justify, but you’re too busy and royal for lowblooded things like guilt.

You laugh under your breath, low and guttural and sounding almost like a sob. You’ve almost got the whole fucking hemospectrum on your hands. All that’s left is... red.

You kick a piece of the shattered matriorb away. It skitters off under a desk, and as you turn to face the only other person witness to your rampage you finally realize he’s been shrieking his head off. If there are words to the noise, you can’t understand them.

“What did you do... what the fucking shit did you do...” he moans, yellow eyes wide and fixed blankly on Sollux’s twitching form.

“They deserved it,” you reply. Your voice sounds like it’s coming from very far away. You can hardly hear it over the roaring in your ears.

“What...?” He slowly shifts his gaze to yours.

“All of you deserve it! You think I didn’t fuckin’ hear you all laughin’ behind my back? ‘Oh, let’s all pity poor little Eridan, can’t get no one to stand in no quadrants with him at all!!’”

Your voice is becoming louder and shriller the longer you speak, but now that you’ve started you don’t think you can stop.

“‘Kill all land-dwellers, kill all land-dwellers, that’s all he fuckin’ says! Nothin’ to worry about though, he’s too much of a fuckin’ wimp for his plans to work! Let’s all patronize stupid! fuckin’! Eridan!’”

You advance toward him as you rant, and he backs up until he knocks a terminal over with his elbow. He’s scared and shocked and almost a little betrayed, but mostly angry.

“You BLITHERING GODDAMN FUCKASS!!!” he screams. “I never thought that about you! NEVER!!! And now look what you’ve fucking DONE! You... you were my FRIEND!!!”

“Friend...?” You laugh again, this time cold and humorless. “I ain’t friends with angry knowitall dirtscrapin’ freaks like you. You just kept mockin’ my noble ambitions.”

“Because your ‘noble ambitions’ were complete and utter BULLSHIT!” He grabs the front of your shirt and shakes you a bit. You tighten your grip on the wand. “Fine, so you hate me. Whatever! But you loved Feferi!”

You snarl at him. “I loved her right up until I realized she’s a cowardly bullshit excuse for an empress-to-be. Everythin’ I did was for her! I fed her fuckin’ lusus and tried my goddamn hardest to make the world a little less fuckin’ terrible, and what does she do? She uses me just so she can go fuck a dead mustardy peasant at the first opportunity! She took me for fuckin’ granted, is what she did.”

“What about Sollux, then?” His voice is almost pleading. “What about your pitch black rivalry? Most trolls don’t actually kill the subject of their caliginous leanings!”

“He wasn’t worthy a my black romance,” you sneer. “He underestimated me too, and look what it fuckin’ got him.”

“Fine. So you had a legit quarrel with those two. But what about her?”

Your face pales a bit as you follow his trembling gesture to the solemn green corpse on the floor.

“She... that’s what happens to the ones who think they can stand in my way.”

Cherry tears are pouring down his cheeks. The sight makes you sick to your stomach. You always suspected he was at the bottom of the castes, but you never thought he’d end up a redblooded freak.

“She made you that fucking wand!” he cries.

“And she laughed at me the whole time!” you retort. “All a you laughed at me... called me pathetic and harmless... well how’s this for pathetic?”

You press the wand to his forehead. He opens his mouth, but no words come out. It’s time to spill that mutant cherry red. Pity that it’ll paint the lab all nasty and freakish, though Ter will have a fucking sniffgasm.

“... All I ever wanted was a little respect,” you mutter.

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I was originally going to write a longer version where Karkat survives, but I didn't want to jinx it. ;~;

... Uugh. In my defense, this was written in fifteen minutes at like 3 in the morning. 0_o

[Beep]

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS

bring me sadfic or bring me death. I need some catharsis.
(and I am hoping this means there will be a reset button of some sort, ajshjg)

I'm too busy making a hollow, despondent keening noise of pure melancholy to coherently write anything.

While I'm too busy laughing at KK's face.




And I guess mourning Kanaya too I guessssss.......

[draconicAlgorithm]

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS

bring me sadfic or bring me death. I need some catharsis.
(and I am hoping this means there will be a reset button of some sort, ajshjg)

I'm too busy making a hollow, despondent keening noise of pure melancholy to coherently write anything.

While I'm too busy laughing at KK's face.




And I guess mourning Kanaya too I guessssss.......

That was before the update. Karkat cured my horrible keening.

[Beep]

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS

bring me sadfic or bring me death. I need some catharsis.
(and I am hoping this means there will be a reset button of some sort, ajshjg)

I'm too busy making a hollow, despondent keening noise of pure melancholy to coherently write anything.

While I'm too busy laughing at KK's face.




And I guess mourning Kanaya too I guessssss.......

That was before the update. Karkat cured my horrible keening.

Curing the sads is what he does best.

[linguisticDoctor]

Ides of March

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1. Sollux: Resuscitate.

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The first thing he awoke to was the taste of his own blood, acrid and bitter in his mouth. Rivulets of it were flowing down into his throat, and Sollux coughed and spat and flailed as he tried to rise. Up--he had to get up. He had to stop Ampora once and for all, he had to make him--

"Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking--no, no, don't fucking try to get up you goddamn idiot!"

Was that Karkat?

He didn't know--all he knew was hands on his shoulders as he sputtered, gasped, and managed just barely to nod in KK's direction. Or what he thought was his friend's direction. He couldn't tell--it was so fucking dark.

Probably Ampora took out the lighting somehow. Lousy bastard.

"Fucking grubsniffing son of a--c'mon, Sol, cough it out. Breathe, fuckass!"

Yes, that was KK all right. As instructed, he coughed and spit and got every drop out of his throat, till his breath came in heaves rather than starts.

"Ampora," Sollux managed, as he heard KK reach them. "Where'th that fucker?! I have thomething for him. Two thingth," he snarled, feeling around for his glasses.

There was a troubling silence, and then KK's hand squeezed his shoulder.

"Bro, he...Fucker got away. I...I couldn't...fucking grubshit got to the transportalizer." KK sighed heavily. "We can't find him anywhere on the asteroid, or in the nearby Veil..."

"He'th lucky, I guethth. The thhithead," Sollux coughed. "God, my head hurtth. And I can't thee anything, KK. Can't we do anything about the lightth? I know he took them out, but..."

...Another troubling silence, this one lasting much longer until his friend finally responded.

"Sol, the lighting system is fine."

A small voice that did not belong to any of the repressed departed, but to his own mind, began to scream in the back of the psychic's mind.

"...No it ithn't. I can't...I can't thee anything. It'th all dark," he said.

Silence. Fucking complete silence.

"I'm...Thith ithn't funny. I can't. I can't thee, KK..."

"...Shit," was all he heard, and then he felt his friend's arms wrap around him, and panic began to settle in very comfortably in the house of his mind. No. No, no, no, not like this, not like this...

"I can't thee," he whimpered, "I can't thee, I can't...My eyeth...I can't feel my fucking eyeth..."

A quaver? In KK's voice? How was this real?

"That motherfucker. That fucking...that...that asshole, oh my fucking God...I'm sorry, bro...I'm so sorry..."

A bolt of hope, then, burning through the panic.

"FF! Thhe can fikth thith! Get her! I know thhe mutht be thcouring the athteroid or thomething, but--"

"She can't," KK whispered.

"What, what do you mean," Sollux hissed, his voice cracking in fear and anger and despair, trying to shove his friend's arms away. "What do you mean thhe can't, KK, thith ith fucking THERIOUTH, I can't THEE, and--"

"She can't, Sol," and oh my God Karkat's voice cracked too. A tear that wasn't his own fell onto his hand. Was he sobbing? Was the Knight of fucking Blood--

Realization. Cold. Voices whispering from beyond the Furthest Ring, beyond any kingdom of life.

"No," he whispered.

"I'm sorry."

"Thhe's not dead," Captor choked. "N-not FF...nooooo...noooooooooo..."

He wanted to scream like the voice of his mind, but all that came out were broken, tear-choked sobs, as rivers of pale, watery yellow stained Karkat's shirt at last.

2. Terezi: Regret.

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OPEN PESTERLOG

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--carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]--
CG: TEREZI.
CG: WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?
GC: 1'M ST1LL DOWN H3R3 1N TH3 LOW3R L4B
GC: W1TH TH3 BOD13S
GC: TRY1NG TO M4K3 S3NS3 OF TH1S
GC: FOR3NS1C4LLY SP34K1NG 1N T4V'S C4S3
GC: WHY? >:?
CG: WE NEED TO TALK. JUST YOU AND I.
CG: STAY THERE. I'LL COME FIND YOU.
GC: 1S SOLLUX 4LL R1GHT?
CG: NO.
CG: HE'S NOT GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT FOR A LONG TIME.
CG: HE PROMISED NOT TO KILL HIMSELF THOUGH.
CG: PRETTY MUCH ALL I CAN FUCKING ASK FOR AT THIS POINT.
CG: ANYWAY, HANG ON.

--carcinoGeneticist [CG] has ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]!--

GC: >:[

The teal-blood sighed and clicked her glasses back to their regular function, resuming her long, sad sniffs of the equally sad and ruined body of Tavros Nitram.

"He's probably just coming to ask me to help Sollux with his smelling things," she sighed, shaking her head. "I suppose I can't be mad at him for that, can I?"

Tavros' corpse was, predictably, mute. She could imagine the boy's stuttering, mildly confused response, though. That made things a little better.

uHH, NO, i MEAN YOU, UH, ARE KIND OF THE AUTHORITY ON HOW TO, UHH, COPE WITH BLINDNESS,,, bUT THAT ISN'T, UHH, WHAT YOU WANT, EXACTLY, IS IT,

"No," Terezi sighed, resting her chin on her hands. "I...I want things to be like they were, Tav. Is that so bad? I mean...I liked when I could tell his angry-smiles from his actual anger, and when he'd actually tell me his feelings about stuff, and not, not be so stupid."

yOU WANT HIM TO, UH, TRUST YOU AGAIN, RIGHT,

"Basically."

uHHH,,,tO BE FAIR, YOU HAVEN'T EXACTLY BEEN, UH, FORTHCOMING, UH, YOURSELF, TER,

"Yeah, I know...Dave...and then... I was kind of jealous about his going pale for Kanaya...of course, now...now that doesn't even matter..." Her arms folded under her nose, and she sniffled, then looked about wildly, wiping at any impending tears--she couldn't cry, not right now. She needed her inner legislacerator, and cursed leaving all her scalemates in the stupid chest system.

aWWW, DON'T, UH, CRY, TER, P-PLEASE, YOU'RE STRONGER THAN THAT,

"I know, little buddy," she whispered. "It's just...This..."

iT REALLY SUCKS,

"Basically." She sniffled again. "I wish you were alive...to say something about Rufio, or your self-confidence, or anything. Something dumb would be awesome right now..."

Perhaps, in a world where magic was real, at this point the dead body behind her would have turned out not to be dead after all, or the medical slab would have turned into his Quest Bed, or Aradia would have burst through the wall like the Kool-Aid Troll and resurrected everyone with time shenanigans.

But resurrection wasn't possible anymore. Not for them. The Tavros she heard was a made-up friend--the way fairies were, at least those that weren't actually huge stupid bitches in orange clothes.

She was sad and alone and surrounded by the dead.

And so it was entirely natural that when Karkat came down to the makeshift morgue, she wrapped her arms around him and spent half an hour sobbing into his chest.

And she'd never tell anybody, but she swore he was crying too, the whole time.

3. Karkat: Reconcile.

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They separated and didn't speak for a moment after the embrace was over. Oddly, he was the one who broke the still.

"Believe it or not, I'm not down here to ask you about helping Sollux now that he's blind," he said, growling slightly, trying to regain his proper position of masculinity. "I'm not that completely fucking thick."

"I would never dream of accusing you of being," she said with a wide, particularly shit-eating grin, but her eyebrows showed she thought otherwise.

"Oh ha ha," he said. "No. Look, I...I need you to promise me something."

Her arms crossed faster than he'd ever seen her cane move, and he'd seen her cane move particularly fast.

"What?"

He rubbed his head in frustration, and there was another moment of silence before he spoke again.

"...Look. I know you see yourself as the last form of justice left. I think you probably are the last one here who knows what the fuck justice means and how the law works. And I know what you want to do is get that motherfucker and hang him from the highest possible rafter while the rest of us dance in his nooksniffing purple gut confetti, which I fucking assure you is high on my priority list--"

"--but you don't want me running off after him and getting killed," Terezi finished for him.

"Yeah. Basically. You and I need to keep the rest of these idiots together. This horseshit has got to stop right here. No one else is fucking dying."

Terezi studied him for a moment, and then nodded. "Okay. I promise I'll stick around and not go off on a vengeance quest."

"Good. You should also come and meet me up in the main hub so we can coordinate with the pink-skinned fuckasses that are our only remaining hope of...anything."

She nodded. He sighed, and began walking to the door, which slid open.

But he could feel her eyes boring into his back. Or her nose. Or whatever.

A thousand terrible movies do teach you some things, so Karkat Vantas turned just enough to look right at her, swallowed the pride and bile in his throat, and said, "Terezi, also...I'm sorry."

He could actually see her blink in surprise.

"...I've really been in your nook for a whole bunch of bullshit fucking reasons," he went on hurriedly, as if vomiting out the words faster would make them easier, "and...and I shouldn't have been. I mean, I think Coolkid Strider is the biggest fucking waste of bone bulge in the known universe, that is never going to change, but--I mean--he's not worth losing you as a..."

"Karkat..." She was walking over to him, but he barely registered it.

He shook his head. "And I felt bad when you were crying, that was why I poked you, I wasn't trying to be--God, I've been such a fucking asshole to everyone," he said, his voice cracking again, "and the real reason I don't want you to go after Ampora is because I can't lose you, at all, I just watched my moirail die and all I did was stare like a fucking moron--"

"Karkat," she said, taking his hands and squeezing them gently.

"Y-yeah?"

"Shut up," she said, and kissed him, softly, on the lips, no tongue or licking or inappropriate sniffing or anything.

"...Okay."

4. Vriska: Revenge.

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The lab was silent. The lights were now dim.

Vriska Serket stood beside the body of the jade-green girl who'd been her moirail, and the brown-stained victim of her kismesisitude, and wished her eyes would stop stinging. If she was going to cry like a wriggler, fine, she could cry.

Tavros' ruined eyes accused her in the dark. Everyone was willing to accept the idea that Eridan had killed him too; why would the traitor be concerned with a brown-blood on his way to ascendancy with the Demon? No one questioned the idea that she was asleep in her nest of dreams and Nic Cage at the time.

Oh, Nic Cage. If only he was here. With his big, beautiful, brown eyes. He'd know just what to say.

Vriska sighed. "Don't look at me like that, Pupaaaaaaaa........Damn it, we ended on a good note!!!!!!!! You finally really hated me........."

Are You So Sure

She sighed and looked to Kanaya, whose dead hand was locked in her own.

"........I guess not, Fussyfangs."

Her eyes stung again, not from mores of dust or the dim light, and she swore softly. "This isn't fair, you know!!!!!!!! Right when I'd need you the most, right when I could really confiiiiiiiiide in you...You're so stuuuuuuuuupid, Kanaya..."

I Am Sorry For Not Orbiting Your Brilliant Eightfold Sun Appropriately, Vriska, I Will Try To Postpone My Death Next Time

"Quit snarking at me in my own thinkpan........"

A cerulean tear traveled a grey cheek.

"Ffffffffuck."

This couldn't stand.

OPEN PESTERLOG

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--arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]--

AG: H8y, f8rl8ss l8d8r.
CG: I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M FUCKING SAYING THIS, BUT EXCELLENT.
CG: I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TALK TO YOU.
AG: Ohhhhhhhh????????
CG: YEAH, REGARDING THE RECENT MURDER SPREE.
CG: OR SHOULD I SAY SPREES.
CG: THOUGH I GUESS YOU WERE ONLY REALLY GUILTY OF KILLING ONE PERSON.
AG: D::::<
AG: Y8u c8n't pr8ve sh8!!!!!!!!
CG: LOOK, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT.
CG: I'M PISSED OFF THAT YOU KILLED HIM ON MY WATCH, AND TEREZI THINKS YOU'RE AWFUL, YEAH.
AG: ::::P Wh8 else is new????????
CG: WHAT'S NEW IS YOU AREN'T A FUCKING WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT TRAITOR WHO DOOMED OUR RACE, BLINDED SOLLUX, AND KILLED TWO OF OUR BEST BEFORE RUNNING OFF TO JOIN JACK FUCKING NOIR.
CG: THAT'S WHAT THE FUCK IS NEW.
CG: SO HERE'S WHAT I THINK SHOULD HAPPEN.
CG: WE STAY HERE AND WORK ON JADE'S MERGING PLAN OR WHATEVER.
CG: YOU GO AFTER AMPORA.
CG: YOU FIND HIM AND WHERE HIS NEW FUCKING ASSHOLE GOD ARE HIDING OUT EXCHANGING SHITTY TONGUESTAINS.
CG: AND YOU MAKE HIM PAY LIKE HE'S NEVER PAID BEFORE.
CG: LIKE NO ONE'S EVER PAID BEFORE.
AG: .........
CG: OH DON'T FUCKING ELLIPSE AT ME. YOU CAN DO IT. YOU'RE VRISKA FUCKING SERKET.
CG: YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON WHO'S EVER MANAGED TO SCARE EVEN NEPETA.
CG: YOU ARE LIKE THE TOP ARTIST OF REVENGE AND PAIN.
AG: No no noooooooooo, you misunderstaaaaaaaaand. The off8r's t8mpt8ng, Kaaaaaaaarkaaaaaaaaat. ::::)
AG: Aaaaaaaaaand I'd 8e ly8ng 8f I s8d I didn't want to do it.
AG: 8ut.
AG: Y8're going to h8ve to h8nd over a l8ttle more of the ol8ve 8ranch.
CG: FUCKING FINE. HERE.
CG: I AM GOVERNOR FUCKING TROLL CANDY CANES AND THE REPRESENTATIVE OF JEGUS ON ALTERNIA IN EXILE AND I WILL ABSOLVE YOU OF YOUR MULTITUDINOUS FUCKING SINS.
CG: NO ONE MENTIONS TAVROS, YOUR KILLING IS BEHIND YOU, BLAH BLAH BLAH.
CG: YOU AND TEREZI HAVE A NEW TRUCE CLAD IN INDESCTRUCTIBLE FUCKING URANIUM OR WHATEVER.
CG: AND YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE SLOPPY MAKEOUTS YOU WANT WITH JOHN ONCE WE COMPLETE THE SUPER SECRET NOOKFUCKING PLAN.
CG: YOU'LL BE VRISKA SERKET, HERO OF THE DAY, THE ONE WHO CUT THE FUCKING TRAITOR PRINCE ASSHOLE'S HEAD FROM HIS UNDESERVING SHOULDERS AND STUCK IT ON A PIKE FOR ALL SKAIA TO MOCK.
CG: ALL THE ACCOLADES WILL BE YOURS. ALL OF THEM.
AG: ::::| Hmmmmmmmmm
AG: .........ooooooooh, fiiiiiiiiine, 8ec8use y8u 8sked so niiiiiiiiicely.........
AG: Aaaaaaaaaand it coinc8des w8th my g8als. Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
AG: ::::D
AG: Y8u h8ve y8ur 8ss8ssin, s88888888r. ;;;;o
CG: DON'T MAKE ME REGRET THIS.
AG: N8v8r!
CG: ...
CG: GOOD HUNTING.

-- arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]--

The Thief of Light's face split in a brilliant grin. It was perfect. It was so perfect. It was a blank fucking booncheck. And all without an ounce of mind control! Not even manipul8ion involved!

I Have To Admit Even I Would Be Impressed

She would hunt Eridan.

She would hunt Noir.

She-- not Jade-- would accomplish the plan, save both species. She would become who she was born to be. And the best part was Karkat had asked her to do it.

She restrained herself from cackling as her wings began to beat. In the center of her right eye, the torments the Prince of Hope would endure were already forming, images from a nightmare queen. Top artist? Oh, Karkat didn't know the half of it.

She would make him pay.

But first, she had a game to win.

[linguisticDoctor]

Aaaaaaaaaand one more for the road.

Goddamn Troll Kids

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The Courtyard Droll was really confused by this guy. He was not at all what the Dignitary had told him to expect. The Dignitary had told him that Jack had a new "disciple", whatever that meant, and he should meet him when he arrived at the heart of Derse, so he could be readied for the coming battles.

The Prince of Hope, the Dignitary had called him. It conjured up images of a terribly fearsome warrior. Probably one nearly as scary as Jack was.

The one who came through the gateway wasn't scary. Different from the four lunar princes and princesses the Droll had seen imagery of, but not scary. Grey-skinned, with weird candy-corn horns coming off his head, yellow eyes, and some sort of purple symbol on a sweater...and then there was the scarf and the glasses and the rings.

And the fucking magic white wand.

The Droll recoiled.

He was dealing with some sort of hipster wizard, here?

And then he felt bad for recoiling, because the guy fell to his knees, started shaking, dropped the wand from his hand, and began to cry uncontrollably.

The Droll just blinked. Oh geez. He had no idea how to handle this. Especially since the guy's tears were purple! That was just weird. This guy was a weird emotional wreck. He kept trying to say something, but the Droll had no idea what. Then he started banging on the ground with his fists. Something about it "wwas their fault! THEIR fault!" came through.

The Droll scratched his head. He wished sometimes that he was someone else. If he was Jack, for example, he'd have something witty to say, like "There, there, you blubbering goddamn pansy."

Or if he was the Dignitary, he could have knocked him out with his cane and muttered about "Goddamn disciples. Fuckin' pain in the ass."

If he was the Brute he could have just picked him up and carried him. But he was the Droll, and he was not equipped for this horseshit. Guy was just blubbering and blubbering away, and making a big mess, though. That couldn't keep going on.

So the Droll sat down next to him, and did the only thing that came to mind: put his hat on the Prince's head. Then he patted him on the shoulder.

"Cheer up," he said. "It ain't all bad."

The Prince looked up, blinking. "Wwho th' fuck are you?"

"I'm the Droll," said CD proudly. "I work for Jack. I'm supposed to meet you."

"...Oh." The Prince sniffled. "Wwait, howw d'you know it ain't all bad, I just, I fuckin' killed twwo of the girls I really lovved, an'--"

"Yeah, yeah, you guys really love your kissin'. Dignitary warned me about that," the Droll waved him off. "But it ain't all bad. Cause you're with us now! AND," he said, in the loudest of conspiratory whispers, "you got a new hat."

"....Wwhat." The Prince felt his head.

"It's a bull penis hat!" the Droll exclaimed proudly.

"Wwhat the fuck."

"I KNOW! But it totally is!"

The Prince stared at him, and slowly, the corners of his mouth curled slightly.

"...you're a wweird little guy."

"Nah, I'm the Courtyard Droll. But you can call me CD."

"Eridan. Eridan Ampora." He took the Droll's hand, and carefully pulled himself up. "So wwhere wwe goin'?"

"Just follow me!" The Droll grinned toothily, and Eridan jumped back.

"The hell you flashin' all those teeth for, those are awwful!"

"Hey, your horns are pretty tacky too! Half of why I gave you the hat!"

"My horns are fuckin' magnificent!"

"DUMBnificent!"

"Least I don't look like some kinda goddamn monster wwhen I smile!"

"No, you look like a stupid fake wizard."

"I'M A SCIENTIST YOU SHUT UP THIS IS A WWAND OF WWHITE SCIENCE"


The Draconian Dignitary shut off the fenestrated wall and executed a FACEPALM 1X COMBO with precision unequaled.

This, he could tell, was just going to be complete bullshit.

He really hoped Jack got back here soon, or he was going to start killing people.

[draconicAlgorithm]

linguisticDoctor, I love you.

[Nox]

I Am Not Like You

The moment when you can no longer hide from your own sins is always painful. All at once the weight hits you, and those little lies you told yourself sweep after sweep are broken.

"...I am..."

Some things you can justify, and from a logical standpoint even accept. But they still haunt you, clinging to your being like a stain. Lighter then the other ones, but their were so many of them. All the trolls you fed to your Lusus, all the death you caused. It may have had to be done, but you enjoyed it far too much. Feferi was even worse off, and she never enjoyed feeding her monster.

"...not..."

A few sins were you trying to help, honestly they were! Tavros was always a pathetic troll. That point was never argued even by those that pointed fingers at you. You pushed him, set him up to come into his own and come out of his shell again and again. Every time, every single time he disappointed you. You even let yourself bleed out and suffer what is to date the greatest physical agony you have ever felt. The coward just let you bleed, after you sacrificed so much. He was the cruel one! Him, him!

"...like you..."

You tried again with John, and he was everything you could hope for. So much potential, so much promise! He just needed a single push. So you set him up to reach the god levels like you did. It's true you lied about what what that meant, but you gave him a choice none the less. You even spared him the pain you went through by making sure he slept through the death. That counts for something, right...right?

"...I...am...not...like...you..."

Other sins were you being petty. Tavros pissed you off, and refused to grow a spine. So you revoked his spine privileges permanently. When Aradia made you pay for that, the souls she set on you came dangerously close to seeing the weight of your sins. Naturally that was a hard hit. You tell yourself you killed Aradia because you wanted revenge, but the truth is now you were scared. If she set the souls on you again it would crush your illusions. You were terrified of that revelation.

"...I am not...like you..."

Terezi shut you out, and it hurt. Saying sorry wasn't in either of your vocabularies so you never patched things up. But that she would expose you and get your eye and hand blown off was way too far! Even worse, that could have killed you. She was going to pay.

"...I am not like you."

Then at last their is your new sin. The big black stain that is still fresh on you. That bastard Tavros gets a spine NOW of all times! You admit after you slew him it didn't have to end the way it did. You could have subdued him with little trouble, you WERE a lot stronger then him after all. But no, the idiot had tried to kill you while you were helping everyone. Yes you had created the demon, but did he not understand that was inevitable? You had enough, the useless moron was history.

"I am not like you."

Then you decide to meet up with the others. You had to tell them about Tavros before they found the body. You were not going to let your side go unheard. But that was a tale no one would hear. Eridan made sure of that.

"I am not like you!"

It didn't take long to discover what had transpired. The idiot had gone on a killing spree. It had started with Feferi, then Kanaya, and soon? Well, let's just say she was now one of only two trolls in existence. (Unless Aradia is magically alive somehow.)

"I am NOT LIKE YOU!"

The moron had made some grand speech to her about the whole thing, talking about how it was necessary and he had to do it. About his while plan to join the demon, as if that would really work. All the while you just stood their gaping as the truth hits you. Them, all of them, they're gone. Tavros stung a bit, but losing everyone else was like a punch in the gut.

"I AM NOT LIKE YOU!"

Then the moron did the stupidest thing he had done all day. And considering what a day it had been that was saying something. When he saw you were just gaping while he rambled about his plan he made the remark. That you could not judge because you were 'just like him.'

"I AM NOT LIKE YOOOOOOOOU!"

All you could see was red. This was not the hate of a black romance, but something much deeper. You hated the thing he was, and you hated the all too similar thing you also were. And above all, you hated Eridan for showing you the horrid truth that you could only honestly claim to be a little better than this...utter tool. That was not ok, not by a longshot.

"NOT! NOT! NOT! NOT! I AM NOT!!!"

You don't bother with the dice, and he doesn't have time to raise his wand. You can teleport, stupid! It's been about twenty-five minutes since you started beating the hell out of him while you screamed at him at the top of your lungs. It's been about ten since you last saw him show any sign he was alive. Your hands are coated in blood. Mostly his, but your sure his bones cut into you once or twice. You don't care, you're not done yet.

"NOT LIKE YOU! NOT LIKE YOU! I AM NOT ANYTHING LIKE YOU!"

Tears stream down your face. Tears for the horrors of yourself you now must face. Tears for all the missed chances to change forever gone now. Tears for the trolls you cared for now gone through his arrogant foolishness and your negligence. Tears for the deep pain you had all your life you only now see as it reaches critical mass.

"NOOOOOOOOT! I'M NOOOOOOOOT! I CAN'T BE!"

You would read over the old chat logs, and impersonate the other trolls for now. Because if you have to explain what happened to the humans right now your sure it will destroy you. And your not going to do that. By all that you are, you WILL do right, if only once. Then you'll...you don't even know what next. Perhaps nothing, since you might not survive. But damn it, your not letting everything we all worked for be for nothing! You were going to save the humans and stop the demon...or die trying. Just once, you really were going to be the hero.

"...I'm not...I'm not..."

...just as soon as you are done turning what is left of Eridan into a purple smear on the ground.

[linguisticDoctor]

linguisticDoctor, I love you.

*bows* I do try.

Fact: "Goddamn Troll Kids" was originally going to be introspective and angsty and filled with Eridan crying over his various sins, but I decided nah, let's do a Droll fic. BECAUSE I DON'T SEE WHY NOT.

[Ganato]

Aww man. So much deliscious sadness.

lD, you are magnificent.

Nox, I will glee happily if that actually happens.
Though I guess I just kind of jinx'd it.

[Kassiopeia]

linguisticDoctor you are the prince or princess of my SOUL
those were beautiful. Your characterisation of all the trolls is perfect, and the scene with Terezi and Tavros was really moving. You fleshed out their relationship nicely, given that we haven't seen much of their interaction. (You have also raised the horrible thought in my mind that Vriska is going to blame Eridan for what happened to Tavros and get away with it again. And I LIKE her but I don't want that to happen, argh)

also you have no idea how much I laughed at "hipster wizard". 3333

[linguisticDoctor]

linguisticDoctor you are the prince or princess of my SOUL
those were beautiful. Your characterisation of all the trolls is perfect, and the scene with Terezi and Tavros was really moving. You fleshed out their relationship nicely, given that we haven't seen much of their interaction. (You have also raised the horrible thought in my mind that Vriska is going to blame Eridan for what happened to Tavros and get away with it again. And I LIKE her but I don't want that to happen, argh)

also you have no idea how much I laughed at "hipster wizard". 3333

This prince blushes!

...then realizes that title puts him close to Eridan oh noooooooooooo

Thank you especially for the compliment on the Terezi/Tavros thing; it's a read I'm surprised most people don't get off their relationship, but I think she's always seen him as sort of a "little buddy" archetype--I got the sense that she really meant it when she told him in Alterniabound that believing in Rufio was a good thing. She might laugh when he falls down, but Terezi would be the type to help him back up once the fun has been had, it always seemed to me.

One of the reasons she's my favorite troll (even though my patron is Sollux).

As for Vriska, I'll be really surprised if she doesn't take the tack of "oh no, it was totally Eridan! ::::O I was asleep and dreaming of silly human makeout times, wooooo". And, frankly, I think most of the trolls will buy it, given Eridan's SITH LORD OVERDRIVE he just pulled.

But I think Terezi will be watching, and she'll be waiting. JUST1C3 W1LL OCCUR. Like Vriska herself said, if you fuck with Terezi Pyrope, or the people she likes, you are so screwed.

(....course now that I say that watch Hussie have Vriska just straight-up waste her. )