@ Ember: I'd be lying if I said I actually thought the ship name that far through. Pretty much bashed two five-dollar words together and went "yeah that's just about pretentious enough." In retrospect it is kinda apropos in that Queen Anne's Revenge sort of way. Mostly I was just giggling at the idea of someone sailing around in a ship called the Truculent.
@Kassiopeia: That's the idea. Too many people getting all weepy eyed an' crap, need a booster shot of Things What Kick.
Anyone have any fic they want to see done by an amateur with too much free time?
Kanaya Bro.
DO IT.
... WAIT BUT I WANT VRISKA BRO
CAN WE HAVE BOTH???
...
I would cry but there are no tears left.
Originally Posted by HarMegidon
I just am asking why she is selling sausages at a funeral.
Originally Posted by inexpediency
Everyone is a hedgehog...on the inside.
Originally Posted by Tesseract
On a deadness scale of normal to doorknob I would rate her as double doorknob
Originally Posted by Jitka
fuck yeah sodium hexametaphosphate
that is my favorite hexametaphosphate
Malakin:because its actually the truman show just with ponys
crash826:that
crash826:makes
crash826:far too much sense
gingerale:xD
Malakin:think about it
Malakin:it all makes sense
Originally Posted by Catbread
Those sound like some pretty badass park rangers.
Originally Posted by ranasan
Wow... it's like if someone managed to manifest Missingno. from Pokemon Red and Blue into the real world, grind it up into a fine powder and then snort it.
18:21 Girard so I learned something at the barber:
18:22 Daniel ?
18:22 Girard The entirety of England, London in particular, is actually a stage for the biggest production of the musical Oliver ever made.
18:22 Girard England is a giant musical.
18:22 Girard This explains the small children with cockney accents and giant hats who dance in the streets.
18:23 Daniel ...DAMN YOU MARY POPPINS!
18:23 Daniel DAMN YOU TO HELL!
Those are tears of MANLY JOY. You just don't know it yet.
MANLY TEARS OF JOY. Goddamn now I want to write a fic around that concept, 'cause what I've been working on isn't coming.
If you feel that there's no way things could get any worse, that means things will only get better!
...That, or you're possibly being fed on by a dementor. Eat some chocolate, stat.
If you feel that there's no way things could get any worse, that means things will only get better!
...That, or you're possibly being fed on by a dementor. Eat some chocolate, stat.
Either way, it's clearly meant to evoke the image of blood on a spider's fangs. The difference is that to humans it could be anyone's blood, whereas to Trolls, "pinkish-red" would indicate she's gunning for royalty. It's pretty much anarchic, and probably a cullable offense. Vriska has nerves of steel.
"SHUT UP, GAMZEE."
"H3H3H3H3H3..."
"uHH, kARKAT, wHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW?"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"
The ten remaining trolls, minus Sollux and Nepeta, had gathered in the main room.
"Feferi Has Lost All Biological Signs Of Health Due To A Heinous Murder"
"Tavros Was Merely Asking What We Will Do To Avenge Her"
"THAT'S TEREZI'S DUTY, BUT SHE'S SHITTING ON THE JOB AGAIN."
Tavros randomly guffawed. It seemed to be extremely uncharacteristic of him.
Suddenly, he clamped his hands over his mouth and nervously glanced over at Vriska, who was cackling with delight.
"FUCK, VRISKA! STOP DOING THAT TO HIM! WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF SOME SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS!"
"H3H3H3... Y3S, VR1SK4. 1 H4V3 4N 1D34…"
Terezi paused.
And remained paused.
"D--> Please do not keep us waiting in such an e%cruciating manner…“
"ter, tell us, wwill you?"
"4LR1GHT! J3GUS..."
"LeTs AlL mOtHeRfUcKiNg ChIlL, gUyS."
Terezi began pacing, while staring down the other trolls.
Terezi was sure to say this right into Karkat’s ear. He shuddered, and Terezi smiled.
"1T W4S 4 L4RG3 CUT, BUT TH3 BLOOD W4S CONTROLL3D 1N SUCH 4 W4Y…"
“TH4T WHO3V3R D1D 1T MUST’V3 COLL3CT3D BLOOD FROM F3F3R1’S BODY!”
Silence. Tavros shifted his feet, accidentally honking one of Gamzee’s horns.
"NOW, WHO H3R3 WOULD B3 TH4T OBS3SS1V3 W1TH BLOOD?"
"Karkat doesn’t like 8lood on the floors…”
”SHUT THE FUCK UP, VRISKA. IF ANYTHING, THIS MEANS I’M IN THE CLEAR…”
Karkat quickly slammed his mouth shut, hoping nobody would question that.
Luckily for him, Terezi moved on.
"BUT WHO DO W3 KNOW TH4T COLL3CTS BLOOD?"
Silence. This time, however, everyone came to the same conclusion:
Nepeta.
"uHH, dOES ANYBODY KNOW WHERE SOLLUX IS?"
Without a word, everybody got up and dashed towards the transportalizer.
They knew that Nepeta and Sollux were down there. Alone.
If he’s dead… Karkat thought to himself.
I’ll never forgive myself.
They arrived where all the rooms were. They didn’t know where to go from there.
"We Must Scatter And Search The Premises!”
Kanaya went down one way, everyone else ran some other way, and so on.
Karkat ran down a hallway. He heard soft noises in the right direction.
He turned a corner of the corridors…
to find Nepeta holding her razor-sharp claws to Sollux’s neck.
“SOLLUX! WAKE UP!”
Karkat sprinted down the corridor at full-speed. Nepeta looked up.
She shrieked suddenly and tried to defend herself from the approaching Karkat.
He tackled her as hard as he could.
In the commotion, Sollux stirred and woke up.
Nepeta angrily yelled and screeched, trying to force Karkat off of her.
It was Sollux that finally did.
"What’th the matter with you, karkat?!”
"I JUST SAVED YOUR FUCKING LIFE! SHE WAS ABOUT TO KILL YOU!”
Nepeta whimpered a little.
":3(< i was just trying to wake him up!"
"theriiouthly, back off, Karkat!"
Karkat could not believe what he was hearing.
Footsteps ran up to him from behind. It was Terezi.
"WH4T’S GO1NG ON H3RE?"
Nepeta was sobbing, and Karkat’s fist was in a threatening position.
Nepeta ran off towards the transportalizer, while Terezi gave Karkat a stern look.
"TH4T W4SN’T V3RY N1C3…"
Karkat couldn’t say a word. He stayed behind as everyone else went back to the main room, and he wondered how everyone’s opinion could change so damn fast…
Alright, it's story-time kiddies and Uncle Wigmund's got a fun one fer y'all.
F8ed 8attle
Just as she had planned, the Demon arrived before those kids would.
Now Vriska Serket, the lone troll to attain god-tier, would defeat the foul beast and gain everyone's admiration for what a great person she was! It was perfect.
Nothing could go wrong with the plan.
Nothing at all.
Until she started to fight the Demon.
And her luck ran out.
When the Demon arrived at the asteroid, everyone fled deeper into the labs to buy themselves some time until the kids destroyed the Green Sun and then arrived to help them.
But Vriska, this is what she wanted. She wanted a final battle with an unbeatable boss. Unbeatable by anyone but her.
She stood proudly on the asteroid's surface when the thing arrived. Dressed in her awesome Thief of Light outfit, this was going to be great.
"Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
You've fallen into my incredi8le trap!"
The Demon looked at her quizically, cocking his head as he pulled that dreadful sword from his chest.
"Fuck off girl. Better yet, how about you just die?"
He calmly walked towards her and she didn't take a step back. He smiled. Someone had the balls to fight him.
He was going to enjoy this.
When the Demon was a dozen feet from her, Vriska threw her dice at him.
"Let's see those 8's! Good8ye Demon!!!!!!!!"
She laughed as the Fluorite Octet flew through the void between herself and the Demon.
She stopped laughing when he cut them from the air.
"What the fuck was that you little bitch?"
He continued walking towards her, glaring, his wings and sword glowing vibrantly with the energy of the First Guardians.
"You thought you could fucking defeat me with dice? ME!?"
She started to back away, terrified.
This couldn't happen.
"Wh8t the hell? This isn't supposed to go this way! I'm supposed to defeat you! I cre8ed you! I should 8e a8le to 8eat you!"
The Demon stopped mid-stride. Vriska had taken a stumble and was now sitting on the ground, looking up in terror at the furious Demon.
"What was that?"
"I...I cre8ed you...I'm the re8son everything h8ppened in the hum8n's session! Everthing w8s my idea. I m8de everthing h8ppen so I could h8ve my 8est and gr8est 8attle ever...I..."
The Demon leaned in close to her, smiling.
"You fucked up"
He put aside his sword and picked her up off her feet.
"And now I've found the fucking bitch responsible for every damned thing I've gone through."
He pulled her in close, she could smell his foul breath, feel the hot air.
"I'm going to fucking enjoy this."
He threw her up into the air.
Excellent!
"HA! I can fly you stupid 8sshole!"
He disappeared and then a voice was behind her.
"I can too."
And with that, he cut off Vriska's wings.
She screamed in pain, agony and terror as she fell to the ground, impacting heavily and knocking the breath from her.
She rolled over to see the Demon float down gracefully, exactly like an angel in Troll culture, towards her. His grim smile just widened as he closed in.
"What should I remove next?"
On some instinct, her right hand went up to her eight-fold eye and then to her left arm.
"Giving me a choice then? Well, well."
He landed astride her and pushed her down into the ground with his clawed foot, cutting into her chest and drawing more cerulean blood.
"I think I'll choose your..."
He stopped...something was wrong...
He stumbled back from Vriska looking at his hand...the energy.
Where was his guardian energy?
He flexed and writhed in pain as his ring forced a transformation upon his body, returning him to the form he had before this one.
He might have lost the Guardian's powers, but he gained two new weapons.
"They...they did it...they destroyed the Green Sun..."
"I don't need that to defeat you."
A tentacle reached out and wrapped around Vriska's leg, lifting her upperside down into the air in front of Noirlecrow.
He smiled at her.
She tried to not cry in terror and pain. She had to be strong...she had to defeat him.
She swung out with her left hand to punch the Demon. To do anything.
He rewarded her by cutting off that arm.
She screamed in agony.
He then flipped her upright, wrapping the other tentacle around her throat, leaving the tendril's tip floating in front of her face.
"And now your fucked up eye."
She closed her eyes so she wouldn't see the tentacle as it entered.
Then to add insult to injury, the Demon tore off her hood.
"You're nothing. You're nothing but a pathetic loser."
He tossed her to the ground and brought the sword to bear on her chest.
"And now, I'm going to end it."
He pulled back, preparing to stab her in the chest.
Vriska closed her remaining eye, unable to bring herself to watch anymore.
She flinched when she heard the sound of metal hitting metal.
She opened her eyes to find a pink-skinned being in a stupid blue outfit standing over her. Using a silly looking hammer to block what would have been the coup de grace.
"Looks like you need some help."
She smiled broadly despite the pain.
"No I didn't! I h8d everthing under control until you showed up!
Joooooooohn! You ruined everything!!!!!!!!"
He just laughed and tossed back the Demon with a mighty push. Vriska looked behind herself to see the others coming to join the battle.
The Demon roared in anger and frustration at them.
Vriska clutched at her arm stump, trying to stop the blood flow, as she worked her way to her feet.
But a pair of hands restrained her.
"You Are Gravely Wounded Vriska, You Should Remain Where You Are."
"uH, yEAH,,,wE CAN'T HAVE YOU DYING BEFORE, uMM, tHE dEMON DOES."
She looked in shock at the two who had forsaken her and were now comforting her. She reached up and clutched their hands.
Crying.
It was a great battle, everyone agreed about that.
Even without his guardian powers, no one could say the Demon was a pushover.
But in the end, he was defeated.
The sixteen companions withdrew back into the asteroid to determine what their next action should be.
And for one of their own to heal and re-adapt to possessing cybernetic prosthesis.
But she had someone by her side.
"Oh wow, that's cool Vriska!"
"Of course! If it w8sn't, why would I h8ve it?"
She started to laugh, but stopped when pain from her various wounds all protested at once. John reached out and grabbed her real hand, the one that could feel his soft warm skin, and squeezed it.
"Everyone agreed that the time the Demon took beating you up ended up saving everyone's life."
"Wh8t? I...I failed John. He 8eat me mercilessly. I w8s nothing to him."
Tears came to her eye. He reached up and wiped them away.
"Maybe, but the time he spent doing that gave us time to show up."
Vriska sighed heavily. She wanted to brag about how it was her plan all along. She wanted to gloat about how everyone should be thankful to her.
But that lust wasn't there. It just wasn't there anymore.
Deep inside. Something finally clicked. A lesson had been learned.
It took its damned time.
She looked over at the human boy she had guided through his own session, the boy she had mercilessly manipulated in her misguided quest for glory. A quest that cost him his life on one occassion and reclaimed her arm and her Vision Eightfold.
He smiled at her and brushed her hair back from her face, which she immediately brushed to cover the eyepatch over her missing eye. He brushed it back so the eyepatch was revealed again.
"Looks cooler this way."
As he pulled back to sit down, she reached out and grabbed his shirt.
"Come here you silly 8oy!!!!!!!!"
A/N:
8luh, 8luh stupid story. But it did let me maul Vriska and give her a happy ending at the same time.
This story started with the mental image of John standing over a gravely injured Vriska using the Warhammer of Zillyhoo to block Bec Noir's sword, and the rest was forcefull placed around that.
@Doodled: Nice murder mystery. It's obviously not Lil Cal, he'd be taunting them more and the body's wouldn't be so intact. Can't wait to see what's next.
Last edited by Wigmund; 01-09-2011 at 10:58 PM.
Reason: Bluh, bluh damn you grammatically correct sentences.