MSPA Fanfiction IV

[DJ-P0N3]

Still haven't caught up on 1-up down-1 though. Darn it all.

If you keep waiting, it'll be over before you know it.
Best catch up now.
I only planned 6-7 parts.

@Shiromisa
Parts of this made me giggle
Parts made me smile
Personally I do not support Jack NoirBlack Queen.
But all in all, I thought it was adorably fun.

[crash826]

@MayorSillyBiscuits: I would enjoy 1-up down-1 a lot more if I could understand horrorterrorese.
Even so, it's really very good.

[DJ-P0N3]

@MayorSillyBiscuits: I would enjoy 1-up down-1 a lot more if I could understand horrorterrorese.

Oh lord, this again.
I took care of it just now, go back and check.
I apologize for not doing this sooner.
It slipped my mind.

[ceruleanTresses]

Oh my God. Homestuck Princess Bride and Homestuck Bioshock are so ludicrously awesome.

In the Bioshock one, when Sollux Ryan starting talking, I lost it. Aaah, I'm really looking forward to when he gets all pissed shortly before he dies, and is being all dramatic IN A LITHP. "MY THRENGTH ITH NOT IN THTEEL AND FIRE, BUT IN MY INTELLECT AND WILL!" Also the casting was PERFECT.

And Kartley (is that how it's spelled?) is freaking hilarious. "All you need to know is that I'm not one to be fucked with," aaahahaha.

[Bufu]

I look away for TWO SECONDS and there's a new thread here again jeez guys!

Sionnan your Strider fics are delightful as always, never stop

here's some stuff I've had written for ages but been too lazy/busy to format and put up
species AU nonsense with Tavros and Jade
species AU nonsense with Rose and Momthulu
non-species AU nonsense with Dave, Terezi and ridiculous sidequests

[Caprisaurus]

GAHJGDA
Whyy did I not read the intermission its so incredibly awesome fhnkjaa
SOMEONE SLAP ME FOR DOING THAT ATROCITY

[Wigmund]

A Storybook Story
Part 4 (Parts 1,2,3 are linked in signature below)

show spoiler

hide spoiler

The Black Vigilante drags Butterjade through the wilds of the frontier. She is near exhaustion, but still, he drags her onward. Finally, when it feels as though she is going to collapse, he lets go of her.

"Catch your breath."
"If you release me...I promise you...you'll get whatever ransom you ask for..."
"And what is that worth, the promise of a woman?"
The Vigilante sneers hatefully at Butterjade. What did she do to deserve this much hatred from him?
"You're fucking funny, Highness."
"I was trying to give you a chance.
No matter where you take me, Prince Striderdink will find you."
The man in black smiles slyly at the Princess.
"You think your dearest love will save you?"
"I never said he was my dearest love.
But yes, he will come. That I know."
"So you don't even love your own fiance?"
"He knows that I do not love him."
"Is it 'not capable of love' you mean instead, Princess?"
Butterjade stands aghast at this horrid slight. She gets up and stares at the Black Vigilante directly into his yellow eyes, furious.
"I have loved more deeply than a killer like yourself could ever dream. I-"
She was cut short when the man in black grabbed the front of her garment and lifted her from the ground. Pure rage was in his eyes...and something else...
"This is just a warning, my lady. The next time, there will be no warning and I will continue on alone.
Prince Striderdink will find you - just not all of you."
He puts her back down, she is terrified and shaking. He grabs her hand and they head off again.


At the deadly picnic, the Prince and his cohorts arrived to find the scene just as the Black Vigilante had left it. Prince Stiderdink dismounts and searches the scene. One of the soldiers boots the body of Vriskini. The Prince walks back to Count Eridan after finding the empty poison packet and hands it to him.

"Dersite poison. I'd bet my life on it.
And I found the Princess's footprints. She is alive...or she was an hour ago.
If she is otherwise when I find her, I shall be pissed."

The Prince remounts his horse and head off into the wilds after the Black Vigilante and Princess Butterjade.


Who are running along a narrow ridge, the drop to one side is steep and a tumble off would not be a pleasant experience.

"Rest, Highness."
"I know who you are. Your cruelty reveals everything."
The Man in Black stares at her and says nothing.
"You are the Dread Pirate Vantas. Admit it."
"So my reputation proceeds me. What may I do for you my Princess?"
With that, he gives Butterjade an insulting bow.
"You can die slowly, cut into a thousand pieces."
"My, my. Whatever did I do to deserve that?
Well, on top of my other actions that is. What did I do to deserve such venom from you?"
Butterjade stares at the ground, finding it hard to speak to this demon.
"You killed my love."
"Well that narrows the list down a bit. I have killed a great many people.
So, Princess, who was your love? Another fat slob of a prince?"
Butterjade whipped her head up to stare at the Pirate Vantas, tears in her eyes, her voice cracking in pain and sorrow.
"No, he was just a farm boy. Poor...poor and perfect.
He had eyes as beautiful as the reddest sunset."
If she did not hate this man in front of her so much, she truly would have broken down at this point. But not in front of the Dread Pirate Vantas. It was the least she could do for the memory of her Kartley.
"On the high seas, your ship attacked the one he was on, and the Dread Pirate Vantas never takes prisoners."
Vantas just shrugged his shoulders and smiled at the sad Princess.
"I can't afford to make exceptions. Once word leaks out that a pirate has gone soft, people stop obeying you.
Then it's nothing but work, work, work all the fucking time.
Quite a pain if you ask me."
"You mock my pain!"
Vantas kneeled down to the Princess' eye level and stared her down.
"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
I remember this farm boy of yours, I think. This would be, what, four or five years ago...about two sweeps?"
Butterjade nodded in agreement.
"Will it pain you to hear this?"
"Nothing pains me more than to be near the man who stole my love away. Go ahead. You can't hurt me anymore than you already have."

Vantas stood back from her, crossing his arms as he thought back.
"He died well, that should please you. No bribe attempts or blubbering. He simply said, "Please. Please, I need to live."
It was the 'please' that caught my memory, not many people say that to a pirate with the sincerity I heard from that man.
So I asked him what was so important for him.
"True love," he told me. And then he told me of a girl of surpassing beauty and faithfulness. I can only assume that he meant you.
You really should thank me, Princess, for ending him before he found out what you really are."
Butterjade backed away from the venom in that last sentence, aghast.
"What am I?!"
"Faithfulness the poor boy talked of. Your enduring faithfulness.
Now tell me truly. When you found out he was gone, how long did you wait?
Did you get engaged to that Prince within the same hour?
Or did you wait a week out of respect of the dead?"
"Shut up! I died that day!"
During her reply, the Dread Pirate was distracted. He saw the dust cloud being kicked up by the horses of Prince Striderdink. Taking the opportunity, Butterjade charged him and pushed him over the edge and down the slope.
"And you can die too, for all I care!!"

As Vantas tumbled down the slope, the wind brought up to Butterjade his reply.
"...as...you...wish..."
Butterjade clasped her hands to her mouth. Could it be...it couldn't...but that...it was!
"Kartley! Oh god, what have I done."
She started down the slope after his prone form, but she too lost her balance and went tumbling down after him.


Prince Striderdink and the others managed to reach the location where Butterjade had offered the Dread Pirate Vantas some measure of safety for her return. The Prince looked at the tracks and shook his head.

"They've gone into the Fire Swamp. What would prompt that kind of insanity."

When the Prince mentions the Fire Swamp, Eridan goes pale.


At the bottom of the ravine, the two bodies lie just a few feet apart, not moving. Butterjade and Kartley have finally been reunited. But it seems that it is in death they meet again.

After a short time, Kartley slowly forces himself up and crawls over to his love.
"Can you move?"
Butterjade awakens, looks at him and smiles. She reaches out for his face and strokes it.
"Move? You're alive. If you want, I could just fly away right now."
"I told you that I would always come for for you. Why didn't you wait for me?"
"Well...you were dead."
Kartley smiled at her.
"Death cannot stop true love.
All it can do is delay it for a while."
"I shall never doubt again."
And slowly, they move closer to each other and begin to kiss.

It a tender one, full of love and heartache. Tender and loving and gentle and--

==================================================

"What? Not again!"

Karkat looked at his daughter.
"What now?"
She stuck her tongue out at him and grimaced.
"They're kissing again, do we have to go through this again?"
Karkat smiled at her.
"You know, someday you may not mind so much."
That earned him a dirty look and a small pout.
"Skip to the Fire Swamp - that sounds cool."
Karkat rolled his eyes and flipped forward a few pages.
"Alright, since you're sick, I grant you this boon.

Let's see...where are we? Okay..."

================================================== ==

Kartley and Butterjade raced along the ravine floor. As they are running, Kartley looks up behind them to see Prince Striderdink and his party look down at them.
"Suck it you asshole, a few more steps and we'll be safe in the Fire Swamp."
"But we'll never survive here!"
"You only say that because no one else ever has."
Kartley pulls Butterjade into the swamps, leaving the Prince behind.

Now in the swamps, they look in awe and fear at the great looming trees that block out the very sun itself. The ground is moist and the air reeks of sulfur.

Butterjade is terrified. Kartley probably is too, but he is not showing it. He moves onward confidently, sickle in hand.

"You know, except for the horrible reek, it's not too bad here.
I wouldn't want to build a summer getaway here, but the trees are really quite lovely."

They stop to look up at one of the great trees that make up the swamp and block out the sun. It is thick and covered in a green-black moss.

Then the two hear an odd popping noise coming from below them.

Suddenly, a gout of flame erupts from the ground, narrowly missing Kartley, but Butterjade is not so lucky. The bottom of her dress is set aflame.

Kartley knocks her to the ground and tries his best to put out the flames. It's not easy, but he accomplishes that.
"Well now, that was a fucking adventure.
Are you hurt?"
Butterjade shakes her head 'no' and looks up at him with worry in her eyes. He shakes his head too as he pulls her to her feet.
"I'm alright as well."

They head onward into the Fire Swamp, but yet again, there's another series of popping. Kartley quickly pulls the Princess to the side just as another flame gout erupts.
"Well, this place certainly does keep you on your toes."
Butterjade is terrified, but Kartley just takes her hand and leads her deeper in the Swamps.


Sometime later, they are still trying to find their way through the swamps. The sun is obviously lower in the sky, streaks pierce the swamp between the tree trunks. Are they near the other side of this foul place?

"This will all soon be but a happy memory because Vantas' ship 'Revenge' is anchored at the edge of this swamp. And I, as you know, am Vantas."
Butterjade looks at Kartley full of questions, finally she speaks up.
"How is that possible, he has been marauding the sea for nearly twenty years and you only left me a short time ago?"
"Ah, the funny little quirks of life."

There is another popping sound, then a flame spurt. But apparently the two have grown use to these as Kartley simply picks Butterjade up and moves her deftly out of the way and they continue on without missing a beat.

"You see, what I told you about saying 'please' was true. It intrigued Vantas, as did my descriptions of your beauty."

Kartley pulls out his sickle and slashes through some wicked-looking vines in their path. The vines groan and writhe as they fall to the ground. But the two pay little attention to that.

"Finally, Vantas made a choice. He told me,
"All right, Kartley, I've never had a valet. You can try it for tonight. I'll most likely kill you in the morning."
Two years this went on,
"Good night, Kartley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning."
It was fine for me, I learned to wield these sickles, learned to fight, learned anything anyone would teach me.
And Vantas and I eventually developed a friendship. And then it happened."
Butterjade blushes as Kartley moves her across a narrow rickety trunk that bridged that dark foul waters of the swamp.
"Oh dear...what happened?"
"Well, the old fuck got rich. He wanted to retire.
So he took me into his cabin and let me onto a little secret.
"I am not the Dread Pirate Vantas," he told me.
His name was really Deuce and he had inherited the title of the Dread Pirate Vantas, just as I would.
The man he had inherited the title from was not the real Vantas either. His name was Boxcars. The real Vantas had been retired for over fifteen years and was living a life of luxury somewhere in the New World.
Then he told me that the most important thing was the name, it was necessary for inspiring the fear everyone had.
Because, who's kidding, no one would surrender to the Dread Pirate Kartley."

They continue onward into the swamp, Butterjade rapturously paying attention to Kartley as he recounted what had happened to him when he disappeared from her life.

"So we sailed for port, took on a new crew and Deuce stayed on as the first mate, all the time calling me Vantas.
Once the crew believed him, he left the ship and I have been Vantas ever since. Except, now that I have found you once again, I shall retire and let someone else take the name. Get it?"

Butterjade was terribly perplexed about all of this, but before she had a chance to ask her love another question, she was sucked into the ground.

Lightning Sand, a huge patch of it.

A cloud of powder rises into the air as she screams for Kartley and disappears. Kartley quickly slashes a vine, secures it both to a tree and to himself and dives in after her.

While they are down there underneath the sands. Something horrible crawls by and snuffles at the sands where the two had just disappeared. It was terrible beyond description, but thankfully, it just wandered off.

Eventually, a hand breaks the surface of the sand and Kartley pulls both himself and Butterjade out. They are both caked in the powdery sand as they gasp for air. Above them, something watches.

Kartley pulls Butterjade up to a tree and begins to help her clean the dust from her face. He stops and looks up at the thing. It stares back. Butterjade is thankfully oblivious to what is going on.
"We'll never make it. We're going to die here."
"Don't say that. We have already succeeded."
He looks up again to see two of the beasts looking down at them.

Kartley quickly props Butterjade up and they head onward as he encourages her.
"I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp?
One, there's the flame spurts. No problem, we know about the popping noise, we can avoid that.
Two, the Lighning Sand, but now that we know what that looks like, we can avoid any future unpleasantries with that."
"Kartley, but what about the P.A.P.'s?"
"Predatory Alien Puppets? I don't think they exis-"

Before Kartley could finish, his assertion about the non-existence of the P.A.P.'s was horribly rebuked by one leaping onto him from above.

It was a horrid thing. It had gangly limbs and a horrible pale face frozen in a terrible smile. Large white teeth crowded its mouth and the rosy cheeks and pale blue eyes just capped the horror that was a Predatory Alien Puppet.

Kartley was pinned underneath the thing as it tried to tear into his back. He managed to roll himself over only to be rewarded by it sinking its teeth deep into his arm. He screamed in pain.

He barely managed to knock the thing off with a fist into one of its blue eyes. He just had time to retrieve one of his sickles before thing was on top of him again.

Eventually Karley managed to get his legs up underneath the P.A.P. and send it flying away from him. He got up just in time to see it now charging for Butterjade who was frozen in terror.

She screamed for Kartley as he leapt onto the demonic thing's back and started to roll around with it. Butterjade grabs a branch and starts to beat on the thing's head distracting it for a bit.

Unfortunately, the P.A.P. managed to switch positions with Kartley and now was on his back. Biting fiercely and tearing chunks out of the poor man's shoulder.

This was it for Kartley...

Until he heard the popping noise nearby. In an act of desperation, Kartley and the P.A.P. rolled across the ground and into the gout of flame that erupted.

The P.A.P. screamed in pain as flames covered it. Kartley got up, retrieved his sickle and walked up to the beast.

He watched it as it tried to put out the flames covering it. Then, with one deft move, he removed the beast's head.

Butterjade runs up to Kartley and embraces him. She helps support him as they make the rest of the way through the Fire Swamp and onto the shores of the nearby bay where the Revenge is moored.

Unfortunately, someone was waiting for them.

Striderdink, Eridan and a few of the soldiers were there. Weapons drawn.

"Surrender!"
Kartley smiles at the Prince.
"Oh, you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept."
Striderdink sneers at the low life.
"I shall commend you for your balls, but don't make yourself look like an idiot."
"But how do you plan on capturing us, you ass?
It is little effort for us to go back into those swamps and live there quite well.
So if you feel like dying, please come and visit us."
"I'm not going to ask again. Surrender!"
"Fuck off, insufferable prick!"
Butterjade gasps as Striderdink's eyebrows raise from behind his shades in what is obviously rage at that horrid insult. She also notices the crossbow-wielding soldiers steep out from behind the trees, aiming for Kartley's heart.
"Surrender you Nookstain!"
"Suck it Buttstink!"
Butterjade, in terror, steps forward in between the angry Kartley and Striderdink.
"Will you promise not to hurt him?"

Striderdink looks at her perplexed.
"What was that?"
Kartley has the same reaction.
"Huh?"

"If we surrender, and I return with you, will you promise not to hurt this man?"
"May I live six hundred years and only enjoy twelve of those."
"Alright, he is a sailor aboard the pirate ship 'Revenge'.
Please return him to his ship."
"I swear it will be done."

Butterjade turns to Kartley and embraces him yet again. As they hold each other, Striderdink whispers to Eridan.
"Once we're out of sight, take him back to the Capital and toss the fucker in the Pit of Despair."
"My pleasure. I swwear it wwill be done."

Not hearing them, Kartley and Butterjade hold onto each other.
"I thought you were dead once, and it nearly destroyed me.
I could not bear it if you died again, not when I could have saved you."
Unfortunately for Butterjade, Kartley was dazed and silent. Before she had a chance to say anything else to him, she was swept up onto Striderdink's horse and taken away.

Kartley watches her go before turning back to Count Eridan. The Count watches as the man is dragged up to him and he pulls out a wicked looking wand.
"Wwe must get you to your ship. I vvery much doubt that you wwant to miss it."
"Stop the bullshit, douchebag."
Eridan sneers at the petulant cur as Kartley looks him over.
"Wwhat is it?"
"Your hair. You have a douchey patch of purple."
Kartley gives the Count a malevolent smile.
"I met someone who is looking for you."
Before Kartley could continue with his insults, Eridan smashed his head with the wand.

And all goes black.

A/N:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Oh dear, what is going to happen to our hero? And what the hell - two parts of this tale in one day?

But some good news, I plan on there being two more parts to this tale and an epilogue. And we've hit the point where it really starts to get good.

[Douhneill]

Holy smokes everyone here is awesome. Just... holy smokes.

I want to comment on all the fics so far, but I wouldn't be able to come up with anything decent to say. So, I'm stuck with just saying: Holy freaking smokes.

Incidentally, Heirman chapter 5 is not going as smoothly as I had hoped. I may not be able to get it finished by the end of the day! Stupid writer's block.

[egregiousBass]

Damn you, Sionnan and your kidney stones. Look what you made me do.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

1 - In which they cuddle :3
2 - In which they start some sick fires
3 - In which Bro catches some sick fires
4 - In which shit just got legal
5 - In which adults are stupid
6 - In which there is mood whiplash
7 - In which shit just got harmonic
8 - In which there is toilet humor
9 - In which Bro maims someone
10 - In which Kermit is planning to kill
11 - In which there is a nerve-wracking birthday
12 - In which there is generic epic shit
13 - In which there is key
14 - In which Sionnan tells teenage parenthood like it is
15 - In which there is attention deficit ooh shiny
16 - In which there is estrogen and kidney stones
17 - In which Bro makes a stupid
18 - In which there is needlessly repetitive angst
19 - In which there is oblique awareness of distant alternate angst

That's quite a portfolio already.

[Sionnan]

Damn you, Sionnan and your kidney stones. Look what you made me do.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

1 - In which they cuddle :3
2 - In which they start some sick fires
3 - In which Bro catches some sick fires
4 - In which shit just got legal
5 - In which adults are stupid
6 - In which there is mood whiplash
7 - In which shit just got harmonic
8 - In which there is toilet humor
9 - In which Bro maims someone
10 - In which Kermit is planning to kill
11 - In which there is a nerve-wracking birthday
INTERMISSION
12 - In which there is generic epic shit
13 - In which there is key
14 - In which Sionnan tells teenage parenthood like it is
15 - In which there is attention deficit ooh shiny
16 - In which there is estrogen and kidney stones

That's quite a portfolio already.

HOLY-

There are no words. Thank you so much, egregiousBass. For that, my next fic will be what you requested, something about Dave in school. How does a science fair, with Strider style contributions, sound to you?

[egregiousBass]

There are no words. Thank you so much, egregiousBass. For that, my next fic will be what you requested, something about Dave in school. How does a science fair, with Strider style contributions, sound to you?

Boring >:/

Just do whatever you feel like writing. It's no fun if there's no surprise.

[lucidSeraph]

Oh man I know this is Bass' request, but Striders doing SCIENCE sounds about like the greatest thing ever.

[Sionnan]

Boring >:/

Just do whatever you feel like writing. It's no fun if there's no surprise.

Haaah. At least you tell it like it is.

Alright, I'll just keep doing my thing.

[MneumonicCarbuncle]

Striders doing SCIENCE

striders + science
STRIDENCE

on that note, sionnan here is my usual amount of lavish praise on your striderfics. the tone is what makes'em flippin immaculate. i can't see the strider household any way else

@biscuits: enjoying 1^v1!
@shiromisa: cute, CD waaaaa great first(?) post

[lucidSeraph]

Boring >:/

Just do whatever you feel like writing. It's no fun if there's no surprise.

Haaah. At least you tell it like it is.

Alright, I'll just keep doing my thing.

that just means we're going a log about SCIENCE later >8|

[Shiromisa]

MayorSillyBiscuits: Thank you! ^^ Smiling and fun was what I was going for, despite the little somber moment at the end. Basically I wanted CD to be adorable.
I didn't ship JackQueen til recently when a friend linked me a fic that handled it really well.

MneumonicCarbuncle: Thank you! If not for carapace people being cloned, my personal canon would be that CD is DD's little brother who they keep in the gang to keep him out of trouble. He's too adorable.

[Ganato]

Haha, awesome! People seem to like Biostuck. Oh, I have some concept art lying about. I'll possibly post that some other time.
Also thanks to thoese that read the Epilogue of My Demii2e. I hope you found it a satisfactory ending.
I seem to be on a roll, with fanfics in this thread.

Second Chance ~ precariouslyAware

I REALLY want to see what is going on and why it is so. Please post more.

Kidney Stone ~ Sionnan

Oh god, what? Most annoying girlfriend ever and kidney stones? Magnificent.

Rebirth ~ KarneWarrior

I think it was pretty good. You certanly have my attention. Post more parts ASAP.

1-up, down-1 ~ MayorSillyBiscuits

I only just caught up with this and now... DAT TWIST.

A Very MSPA Christmas ~ Shiromisa

I love everything that includes the Midnight Crew or their human session counter-parts. Good job! CD is uncontrollable.

AU stuff ~ Bufu

Oh god troll Phoenix Wright.
It's unbeatable man.
You just can't win that shit.

Also, leftfielder.

Am I the only one who actually pronounces ASAP? Not as ai-es-ai-pee but more like a-zap.

[Kassiopeia]

Sionnan, just never stop doing what you do

[Katrika]

I do. A-sap!

[Kawa]

And now, a Population: 13 intermission: The Visit

In which old friends are reintroduced.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

A sleek but somewhat dated car sped through the desert, on a straight line towards the colony known to most of the surrounding area as New Alternia. To the people in the car, it was also known as the former Veil Laboratory and one of the last things left over from playing the game. Most other things had snapped back. Most, since the Chums had been pleasantly surprised to find all their new costumes and most of their weapons right there in their respective sylladices. This made dressing for the occasion very easy, and they were on their way to such an occasion just then.

As the Chums rode up to the visitors' center, constructed from the part of the lab that they had shortly inhabited before the endgame, they passed a small farm plot. Jade wondered from the back seat how Tavros managed to grow whatever it was he was growing in the middle of a desert, but stopped shortly after. After all, he did grow crops in a desert, and he wasn't an alien for nothing.

John stepped out of the car and looked around in wonderment. In a relatively short time, the Trolls had built a proper colony with empty buildings to spare from a single ectobiology installation. The really interesting part was Peixes Lake -- he had looked up the colony's location, and there was no lake there before the Trolls had landed.

Dave was perfectly comfortable with the desert heat and didn't stick to the ample shade provided by the various apartments. It reminded him of the Land of Heat and Clockwork, and he was, after all, still the coolest kid to ever coolkid, even if he had grown old enough to be Bro's height -- and drive a car. But he never would've expected death from above.

Said death came in the unmistakable form of Nepeta Leijon, who gave Dave her customary pouncegreet from two floors up.

"Daaave! You're back!"

"Yeah, and you just nearly crushed my ribcage", Dave rasped from underneath. "Good to see you again, though."

"So, you know why we're here, Nepeta?" John asked as he pulled the little psycho off of his buddy.

Nepeta remained silent. She didn't know.

"We're here to visit Karkat and Terezi."

"Oh, okay! You know where they live, now that they moved into a bigger hive?" Nepeta asked as she adjusted her new coat.

"No, but if you could lead the way..."

Nepeta quickly nodded, turned around and walked towards one of several apartment buildings. As the Chums followed, Dave turned to John.

"But damn did she grow up", he whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I got a pretty good close up just now and jegus they're even bigger than Jade's!"

Predictably, Dave felt the business end of the Girl's Best Friend poking him in the back of the head within moments. John just sagely stroked his little beard.

~~~

"But pappaw, Humans are scary", the little troll girl complained as she hid behind Karkat's legs.

"Listen kid, Humans are not scary okay? They may be disgusting and different, but 'scary' is not the word here, right?" Karkat argued back.

Shula Vantas growled defiantly. She had seen the Chums before, on photographs, and they had visited when she was just a few months old, but she had no conscious memory of that time.

"You know what's scary, grub?"

"Naw?"

"Your momma when she's not wearing her glasses."

Karkat was, of course, not joking in the slightest. Just as he said that, Terezi walked in.

"What's this about me being scary, Karkles?" she rightfully inquired. Karkat picked up Shula, held her high enough to look straight at Terezi and gave the signal.

"Staredown, kiddo", Terezi announced. "Just like with Karkles last week."

As Terezi counted down from three, she reached for her glasses and whipped them off. Two bright-red, unblinking ocular monstrosities stared at little Shula's regular yellow eyes.

And then she started cackling. By itself the cackling wasn't half bad, but the burnt-out eyes made it extremely unsettling.

Shula blinked heavily within seconds.

"Now that is scary", Karkat said as he put his daughter back down. "The humans? Nothing wrong with 'em. Okay?"

"Kay."

It had taken Karkat several weeks to desensitize himself so he could sleep next to his matesprit, who did not leave her glasses on during the night.

Why she had taken them off when Shula was conceived, Karkat would never know.

~~~

"Hey, wassup my most awesome motherfuckers?"

Gamzee touched down from his Sollux-powered flight, the psionic hacker himself following close behind.

"Gamzee, where'd you just come from?" John asked with some surprise.

"Oh me and the main miracle man were just out in the Human city, grabbing some food and drinks. I was all out of the wicked elixir and this motherfucker was chill enough to let me hitch a ride."

"Why didn't you just take the Unireal Air?"

"Because thith thupid douthebag captchalogued it and the Miracle Modus ith a dumbath piethe of thit."

"Now now, Sollux mah boi, don't be dissing the mIrAcLeS", Gamzee defended, punctuating it all with a resounding HONK.

"I knew that streak in the air seemed familiar", Rose remarked. "Doesn't that frighten off a lot of people, though?"

"Oh, it did at firth. Then Fef had her little audienthe with the POTUTH and itthall cool now between New Alternia and whatever that dumbfuck little town ith called."

Sollux snapped his fingers and several bags full of supplies dropped down.

"Letth get thethe into thorage, Gam. Thee you guyth later."

~~~

"Hey hey, Carcat" John greeted, pronouncing Karkat's name noticably wrong entirely on purpose.

"Hello again asshole", Karkat returned with a fist to John's stomach, eliciting a nak.

"So where's that little bundle of joy you guys got hitched up with?"

"Right behind you with my sickle in her grubby little hands."

John just barely managed to dodge as Shula swiped at his legs with a sickle larger than she was.

"You were right pappaw. They aren't that scary!"

She looked disturbingly cute for someone who had nearly cut off a guy's right foot.

Karkat took back and pocketed his sickle, then picked his daughter up and faced her towards Jade.

"See that lady? That's your gogmommy!"

Jade was rather surprised at that statement.

"Wait wut?"

[KarneWarrior]

O.K, that was one of the best endings.

EVER.

[Caprisaurus]

askjhfjaskda
I agree, best ending evar Kawa

[Katrika]

Adorable, Kawa!

[JudgeDeadd]

And now, a Population: 13 intermission: The Visit

In which old friends are reintroduced.

I am JudgeDeadd and I approve of this product or service

It's like Christmas presents, only afterwards.

[Sionnan]

I just wanted to take the time to thank you guys for being such creative, positive, amazing people. I don't think I've been this productive, or felt this included in a fandom, in years. All of you guys inspire me, and that's a great feeling. Thanks, you guys.