MSPA Fanfiction IV

[Nexev]

Okay I am going to post something that is a excerpt of an idea, I shall continue said idea in either a fanfic or a forum adventure if said idea gets a postive reception of any sort.

CONSORTQUENCES EXCERPT THINGY!

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In the land of Skaia a lone salamander sits in his tube, after a long day of farming, he finally has afforded his first rumpled hat, and thus he has earned a name, what shall it be?

Your name is Fedora Top.

You are a busy Salamander, or would be if you didn't have the habit of SPACING OUT.

Wait... what was going on? OH! INTRO! Right you totally knew that.

You are a big fan of CARAPACED PESTS, considering them very tasty. You are a big fan of BUBBLES which you blow when excited. Besides your massive BLOWING SKILLS you are a BIG FAN OF SHAVING CREAM as well as any sort of FASION, though your taste in clothes matches the HORRIFYINGLY TERRIBLE TASTE IN FASHION that all of your race shares.

In addition you like DABBLING INTO DARK FORCES BEYOND MORTAL'S WILDEST COMPREHENSION and would be a MAJOR THREAT TO CREATURMANITY if not for the fact you FORGOT HOW TO OPEN THE FRONT DOOR.

You are about to play a game called Game with your friends, all of which are from different species.

All games in Skaia are called Game, so hopefully you and your friends will be playing the same one.

Your minglemantle is glubBlower [GB] and you are sortof space
d out

Continue as adventure or as fanfic, or not continue at all?

[Metaflare]

@Lantadyme: Oh, goodness! That's the first fic I've read from Casey's point of view, and it actually feels stronger for it. I love the play off frogging, as is to be expected, but more than that I really enjoy seeing Rose from a closer perspective for once. (Plus Casey is one of my favorite mini-characters, so it only serves to strengthen my love for this fic. )

@Metaflare: Look at my icon. Now back to your fic. Now back to my icon, now back to your fic! Sadly, the terrible cropping job I did isn't the wonder that is your fic. But if you look between the two, you'll see why I love you so much right now. Seriously, I'm loving what I see so far!

@Kassiopeia: oh god so much hnnngh forever. In case the one fic I've posted didn't make it obvious, I love Jack, and I really love the way you've been writing him. This fic is delicious, would consume read again in a heartbeat!

There are quite a few fics in the past few pages I really want to comment on still, so I think I'm going to go back and look for them / reread them. Good job to everyone in this thread - keep it up!

oh my god WHERE IS THE FULL VERSION OF YOUR AVI

[Kassiopeia]

@Karijou thaaaaanks (Jack is one of my favourites so there will probably be more from me at some point. I'm thinking something Midnight-Crew-oriented, because then I can have Snowman too, aw yiss.)

@Nexev AHAH that would be amazing. Although one small quibble - don't the Salamanders live in LOWAS rather than Skaia?? I really liked "All games in Skaia are called Game, so hopefully you and your friends will be playing the same one" though (link me to the adventure if you decide to do that :3)

[egregiousBass]

And now another dime-a-dozen pesterfic, but this one inspired by my own exams instead of Kass' stupid catullus shit.

Homestuck meets Bertolt Brecht

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The Land of Heat and Clockwork, 4/13/2009

TG: jade
GG: dave, is that you?
TG: yes its me jade
GG: oh thank god, i was beginning to think you were gone.
GG: my denizen's captured you and wants to eat you alive
GG: and i need a server player asap or i'm not gonna make it! what're you going to do?
TG: take a guess
GG: i'm too naïve to do that.
TG: im gonna travel back in time and make sure this never happens in the first place
GG: oh nooooo! really?? D:
GG: but wouldn't that make you a paradox clone??
TG: yeah sure its not fun getting killed but i need to do this
GG: but why?
TG: its my role
TG: im the knight and youre the witch so i need to rescue you
GG: oh, i see now!
GG: i'm completely smitten by this gesture, even though it will make me stop existing.
TG: you got it babe
GG: but just because i'm in love with your stoic attitude doesn't mean i want you to die!
TG: do you have a better option
GG: i could just use my space powers to whisk you out of there, you know!
TG: haha jade seriously
GG: >:/
TG: look ill explain
TG: i know you took my coolness at face value and basically fell completely in love with it
TG: but im actually really insecure
TG: i try to fix that with the whole coolkid thing
TG: part of which is rescuing damsels in distress
TG: if you end up saving me instead i might have an identity crisis and do like a major fucking pirouette off the existential handle
GG: oh, i had no idea :<
GG: so the only solution is for you to twist the situation so it ends up conforming to the expected pattern decided by our roles?
TG: exactly
TG: you could try to talk me out of it i guess
TG: like reach through the facade and forge an emotional connection or something for once
GG: sorry, but i'm too busy wallowing in self-pity from losing an emotional anchor.
TG: i see
TG: looks like our mutual facetiousness leaves us no other choice
[COLOR="Lime"]GG: i couldn't have put it better myself.[COLOR]
TG: haha jade you fail at color tags
GG: >:/

And so these two individuals resign to damnation, shackled by the roles they have fashioned for themselves. Now it falls to you to consider; Was this ending necessary? How would you act in this situation? Please don't try to guess my intent as the author. In fact, it would be best if my identity were to remain hidden.
ribbit
wh00ps

[Graven_Image]

Indystuck

Chapter 18

Also known as

The Pesterlog in Which Tim Rips II's Plan a New One

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OPEN PESTERLOG

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redMeat began pestering neckwearAficionado

RM: hey
RM: looks like I caught you in time
NA: What is it, Meat Boy?
NA: This is very important.
RM: yeah i know
RM: just bear with me here
RM: has quote set up the game yet
NA: No.
NA: I have yet to arrive at the house I will be using as my entry point.
NA: Why do you ask?
RM: one of the trolls contacted me
RM: and for a troll he was surprisingly civil
NA: Was it incognitoInstigator?
RM: yeah
NA: It figures.
NA: He's been the most persistent so far.
RM: he wanted me to tell you not to prototype what you're thinking of
NA: Really.
NA: I've already made up my mind about it, so there's no convincing me otherwise.
RM: no man don't do the ring
RM: do something more innocent
RM: less time wimey and all-around bad in a general sense
NA: The ring?
NA: How did he know it was the ring?
RM: he saw you put it in
RM: we wants me to tell you not to
NA: Well, if he saw me do it, I have to do it.
NA: Can't go around causing paradoxes on a whim, can we?
RM: no no no listen to me
RM: lets assume for a second that the future can be changed
RM: wouldnt this make it easier for all of us to NOT PUT IN A TIME-SLOWING MAGICAL RING
NA: No.
NA: In fact, it would make our lives considerably harder.
NA: Not to mention a great deal shorter.
RM: i'm not following
RM: how does not giving them time powers make it worse
NA: Because our dear friend, II, has witnessed me placing in the kernel.
NA: And so it must be done.
NA: The timeline is a lot more stable than he would like to think.
NA: I always thought he was their "of Time" player.
NA: But he can't be, given this flagrant disregard for the mechanics.
NA: That's...
NA: That's like Time Player 101.
RM: okay
RM: stop
RM: too many words
RM: auuugh
RM: are you absolutely, positively, irredeemably sure that the ring has to go in?
NA: Not just that, but indubitadly and unquestionably as well.
NA: The future is the future.
NA: Nothing will change it.
NA: Tell II to stick that in his pipe and smoke it next time you come across him.

neckwearAficionado ceased pestering redMeat

[Kassiopeia]

@Bass much as your denigration of my poor babby Catullus pains me, that ending made me laugh RIDICULOUSLY LOUDLY irl. This is so beautiful. (Will you do Hobbes next???? I WOULD PROBABLY DIE)

[egregiousBass]

@Bass much as your denigration of my poor babby Catullus pains me, that ending made me laugh RIDICULOUSLY LOUDLY irl. This is so beautiful. (Will you do Hobbes next???? I WOULD PROBABLY DIE)

I've never even heard of hobbes outside of this forum

Also the fact that I'm completely uninterested in Graven's indystuck series makes me feel like a cultural barbarian in relation to fanfiction and indie games.

[Graven_Image]

Meh, to each his own.

Some people just don't like indy games. Some people just don't like crossovers.

You don't have to be either of those people, egregiousBass.

[Nexev]

@Karijou thaaaaanks (Jack is one of my favourites so there will probably be more from me at some point. I'm thinking something Midnight-Crew-oriented, because then I can have Snowman too, aw yiss.)

@Nexev AHAH that would be amazing. Although one small quibble - don't the Salamanders live in LOWAS rather than Skaia?? I really liked "All games in Skaia are called Game, so hopefully you and your friends will be playing the same one" though (link me to the adventure if you decide to do that :3)

The Crocs, Salamanders, Clowns, Pigs, Weasels, Elves, Turtles, and whatever the blue thingeys Rose was teaching were are also part of the game.

So rather then the session taking place in a game that crosses sessions, the game only takes place in Skaia.

[Decker]

@Kass. I like your take on Jack. Keep it up!

[Kassiopeia]

@Decker thanks bro
@Bass Here is the best article I have read about Hobbes! (But mostly about zombie movies) (it's awesome).
@Graven I WISH I could play more indie games >: I've played Braid a little on my gf's computer but using a Mac most of the time makes it kind of difficult.

[Karijou]

@Lantadyme: Oh, goodness! That's the first fic I've read from Casey's point of view, and it actually feels stronger for it. I love the play off frogging, as is to be expected, but more than that I really enjoy seeing Rose from a closer perspective for once. (Plus Casey is one of my favorite mini-characters, so it only serves to strengthen my love for this fic. )

@Metaflare: Look at my icon. Now back to your fic. Now back to my icon, now back to your fic! Sadly, the terrible cropping job I did isn't the wonder that is your fic. But if you look between the two, you'll see why I love you so much right now. Seriously, I'm loving what I see so far!

@Kassiopeia: oh god so much hnnngh forever. In case the one fic I've posted didn't make it obvious, I love Jack, and I really love the way you've been writing him. This fic is delicious, would consume read again in a heartbeat!

There are quite a few fics in the past few pages I really want to comment on still, so I think I'm going to go back and look for them / reread them. Good job to everyone in this thread - keep it up!

oh my god WHERE IS THE FULL VERSION OF YOUR AVI

Here! It's amazing, and I found it completely by chance. C:

[sebastian]

@Bass much as your denigration of my poor babby Catullus pains me, that ending made me laugh RIDICULOUSLY LOUDLY irl. This is so beautiful. (Will you do Hobbes next???? I WOULD PROBABLY DIE)

I've never even heard of hobbes outside of this forum

Hobbes, the stuffed tiger of that blonde kid, never heard of them?


Oh, god, Calvin and Hobbes playing Sburb could be awesome.

Or maybe Charlie Brown & c.

[Metaflare]

@Lantadyme: Oh, goodness! That's the first fic I've read from Casey's point of view, and it actually feels stronger for it. I love the play off frogging, as is to be expected, but more than that I really enjoy seeing Rose from a closer perspective for once. (Plus Casey is one of my favorite mini-characters, so it only serves to strengthen my love for this fic. )

@Metaflare: Look at my icon. Now back to your fic. Now back to my icon, now back to your fic! Sadly, the terrible cropping job I did isn't the wonder that is your fic. But if you look between the two, you'll see why I love you so much right now. Seriously, I'm loving what I see so far!

@Kassiopeia: oh god so much hnnngh forever. In case the one fic I've posted didn't make it obvious, I love Jack, and I really love the way you've been writing him. This fic is delicious, would consume read again in a heartbeat!

There are quite a few fics in the past few pages I really want to comment on still, so I think I'm going to go back and look for them / reread them. Good job to everyone in this thread - keep it up!

oh my god WHERE IS THE FULL VERSION OF YOUR AVI

Here! It's amazing, and I found it completely by chance. C:

Oh man Leo made that! No wonder its so awesome

[ArmsAreLoud]

This idea came to me right after yesterday's update. Only now I am getting to write it down, though. So yeah.

Adorable Little Freaks

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Phase one of repopulation was complete, and I was already regretting it. Sort of. I was still about as unsure of my decision after I made it as before.

There she was. A little Kanaya all my own. I must admit that in my conversations with the humans I had grown quite fond of the idea of maternalism; my own lusus had served the role of a loving, caring mother quite well, and I could only wonder how much better Alternia would have been had the other members of my race had someone to fulfill the role similarly. How much better everything would have been if Vriska had had a tender mother.

So, despite an untold number of years of norms in the troll reproductive process, I cradled the grub in my arms. She would be better than the generations that came before her. I would make sure of it.

I suppose I should have expected that Karkat would want to check up on how the ectobiology was going. He did always have a thing for micromanagement. And yet, I jumped in surprise when he came down the stairs and took his first glance at my new... Child, I believe the word is.

"ALRIGHT KANAYA LET'S SEE HOW THIS IS... KANAYA."

"Yes Karkat"

"WHY DOES THAT GRUB HAVE BLONDE HAIR. THAT IS NOT A THING THAT HAPPENS IN TROLLS NATURALLY. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO."

"Um Well"

"WAIT... NO. NONONONONO. YOU DID NOT. PLEASE TELL ME YOU DID JUST DO WHAT I THINK YOU DID."

"Well You Will Have To Tell Me What You Are Thinking First"

"YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHAT THE FUCK I AM THINKING. I AM THINKING THAT YOU JUST MADE AN ECTO BABY WITH ROSE MOTHERFUCKING LALONDE."

"Would You Prefer That I Deny It"

"YES I WOULD, KANAYA. BUT YOU CAN'T, CAN YOU? DO YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW RIDICULOUSLY AWKWARD THIS IS GOING TO BE ONCE THE RIFT HAPPENS? I BET YOU DIDN'T EVEN TELL HER FIRST!"

"Well No I Do Not Think I Did"

"WELL THEN WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING THROUGH YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU DECIDED TO MAKE THAT INTERSPECIES ABOMINATION?"

"Well I Had To Use Someones Dna Right So I Figured I Might As Well Nervousness Dots"

"MIGHT AS WELL WHAT KANAYA? USE YOUR SECRET HOMOLUST THAT EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT? YOU DISGUST ME."

"If Jealousy Is An Issue I Can Make One For You And Jade After All I Know You Like Her Wink Wink"

"WHAT? WAIT FUCK NO BAD IDE-"

"Oh My I Appear To Have Pressed The Button Shout Pole Your Slime Is Now In The Tube"

"I SWEAR KANAYA IF YOU CONTINUE THIS NONSENSE I WILL SHOVE THIS SICKLE SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU HAVE NO I-"

"Oh My There Goes Jades Too And Now I Have Pushed The Button Again"

"WAIT. FUCK. PLEASE STOP KANAYA I AM BEGGING YOU!"

It was too late for poor Karkat Vantas. The baby was already here. The cloning pad spawned a child that appeared more human than troll. She looked much like Jade, really; the most Karkat thing about her were her pair of nubby horns.

"THIS IS QUITE POSSIBLY THE MOST AWFUL THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE. WE MUST DESTROY THESE ABOMINATIONS IMMEDIATELY BEFORE ANYONE DISCOVERS THEIR EXISTENCE."

"You Know Karkat In Some Human Cultures It Is Customary For The Father To Name The Child"

"WHAT. FUCK, NONONONO. I AM NOT GETTING WRAPPED INTO THIS."

"Just Look At Her Karkat Isnt She The Cutest Thing"

"UHH... I AM NOT ANSWERING THAT QUESTION."

"Fine Then If You Are So Hell Bent On Killing Your Poor Daughter Then You May Do So I Am Going To Find Mine Some Food"

"F... FINE. YEAH. YOU GO."

Before exiting the basement I turned back to see Karkat awkwardly holding the child, unsure of what to do with it. I can safely say there was no killing on that day.

We're still not sure what to tell the humans.

[egregiousBass]

Hobbes, the stuffed tiger of that blonde kid, never heard of them? :D

Oh, that hobbes. I thought he was an IRL person based on someone's post in a gen chat thread.
No first hand experience. Sorry.

@Arms: That is a grubfic I am empathically 0k with. You even went so far as to justify both their lackings in baby hate.

In the realm of IRL crossovers:

Homestuck meets Sophocles

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CG: OKAY, SO
CG: I KNOW WE HAD A STRICT NO-MEMO POLICY HERE
CG: BUT THIS IS REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT SO PAY ATTENTION.
CG: TAVROS IS DEAD.
TC: :o
AC: :CC > Oh noooo!
CA: wwhat the fuck
GA: What The Hell Happened
AG: ::::(
TA: oh don't giive u2 that crap vrii2ka
TA: ii bet you're the one who kiiled hiim iin the fiir2t place
AG: Bl8h bl8h!
CC: T) (is is no time for pointing the FING----ER!
CG: FISHWOMAN IS CORRECT. LET'S KEEP IT REAL HERE.
CG: EVEN WORSE, I FOUND TEREZI'S CORPSE RIGHT NEXT TO TAVROS'.
CG: SEEMS LIKE SHE COMMITTED SUICIDE.
AG: W8 what?
AC: :CC > *Nepeta is confident in the pouncellor's survival*
CG: ACTUALLY NO, SHE'S DEAD AS A LOAD GAPER.
TA: kk have 2ome tact for fuck2 2ake
CG: LOOK, I'M SHAKING ALL OVER AS I TYPE THIS BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I CAN GO HAVE AN EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN. I'M THE FEARLESS LEADER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
AC: :CC > What about me?
CG: ACTUALLY SURE GO AHEAD.
AC: :CC > *the kitty is griefstruck by her great leader's passing!*
AC: :CC > *she may not be able to go on without her!*
CG: NO WAIT, STOP THAT.
AC: :CC > I <3 you karkles...
-- [AC] committed suicide! --
CG: AFGSFDASFGAS
TA: now look what you've done, 2tupiid.
CG: SHUT YOUR WHORE CHUTE.
CT: D--> N-nepeta!
CG: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
CT: D--> I've failed her. This will not do.
CT: D--> I'm an utter failure. A disgrace to you all!
CT: D--> ...anyone have a towel?
GA: Im Afraid Weve Run Out
-- [CT] committed suicide! --
CA: is there evven anyone here wwith a sound state of mind
CG: I DOUBT ANYONE HERE EVEN CARES ABOUT HIM SO I GUESS WE'RE COOL.
AG: I c8re!
CG: SHUT YOUR FACE.
TA: ii2 that all?
TC: i'M tHrOwInG a HoRn PiLe TiCkEt SaLe, My BrOtHeRs
CG: HOLD YOUR RECENTLY DISEASED HORSES FOR JUST A SECOND.
CG: BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THERE IS A SILVER LINING TO ALL OF THIS.
TA: aradiia liive2?
CC: WOW!
AG: 8888)
CG: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KNOW THAT.
TA: you alway2 have your head too far up your nook two notice what'2 goiing on around you.
CG: WELL EXCUSE ME FOR THINKING I'D FOUND SOMETHING THAT WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY.
TA: whatever.
TA: iin any ca2e ii'm glad two have my mate2priit back.
CC: W) (AT?!
TA: oh 2hiit.
TA: 2orry, ii 2hould've told you.
CC: how could you do this 8(
CC: I trusted you sollux!
TA: ii diidn't thiink you'd miind that much
TA: diidn't we become mate2priit'2 becau2e you piitiied me anyway?
CC: UGH
CC: No Sollux, I actually loved you! Does that word make any sense to you?
CC: LOV----E
TA: ii'm 2orry
CC: Too lat---E! I'm through. I've had enough.
CC: Goodbye.
TA: waiit
TA: plea2e
-- [CC] committed suicide! --
TA: feferii...
CG: WHO'S THE TACTLESS BITCH NOW, BITCH?
TA: you know what kk
TA: you're ab2olutely riight
CG: HEY WAIT
CG: I DIDN'T REALLY MEAN THAT
-- [TA] committed suicide! --
CG: AAAAAAAAAAA
CA: noooooo sollux
AG: ?
CA: i mean
CA: nooooo feferi
-- [CA] committed suicide! --
GA: This Is All A Bit Overwhelming
CG: KANAYA, NOT YOU TOO. COME ON.
GA: My Apologies
GA: Will You Give Me Leave
CG: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
CG: I'M THE FUCKIEST MOIRAIL EVER.
GA: No You Were The Best
GA: Goodbye
CG: See you around...
-- [GA] committed suicide! --
AG: EVERY8ODY ST8P.
AG: Wh8t the hell just happened????????
CG: YOU KILLED TAVROS AND EVERYONE BEGAN OFFING THEMSELVES. ISN'T IT OBVIOUS?
AG: You still don't g8t it do you?
AG: I killed him so he could asc8nd to the god tiers!
CG: THAT REEKS OF BULLSHIT BUT OK.
AG: 8ut it looks like someone didn't pl8 their part!
AG: I know you're h8re so come out!
AA: 0_0
AG: So what's the deal? Why didn't you do it?
AA: i was c0ntemplating it.
AA: but in my newly acquired state of life, i s0ught to break free by d0ing n0thing.
AA: and s0 it seems i have 0nce again d00med us all thr0ugh my passiveness.
AA: i'm s0rry.
AG: Rew8nd already! We c8n fix this!
AA: and d00m myself in the pr0cess? i'm thr0ugh with that s0rt 0f thing.
AA: i am taking an individualistic c0urse 0f acti0n and i expect y0u t0 f0ll0w.
AG: 8888888888888888888888888888
-- [AA] committed suicide! --
CG: WELL, WASN'T THAT SHORT LIVED.
AG: stupidstupiddumbihateyouihateyou
CG: IT'S FUNNY THAT YOU'RE SHITTING BRICKS OVER EVERYONE BEING DEAD WHILE THE SENSATION FEELS NUMB TO ME AT BEST.
CG: IS IT BECAUSE I'M NOT THE ONE WHO MURDERED THEM OR BECAUSE I'VE ALREADY DECIDED TO OFF MYSELF?
AG: f8ck you karkat!
AG: I only made one mist8ke and then they just got suicidal!
CG: GAMZEE?
TC: nAh I'm GoOd
CG: IN ANY CASE, I FIND IT LAUGHABLE THAT YOU'RE STILL PRETENDING NOT TO BLAME YOURSELF FOR ALL OF THIS.
AG: Ok8, fine, you got me. You've successfully trolled me. H8ppy now????????
CG: I DON'T GIVE A FUCK, REALLY.
CG: ALTHOUGH I CAN GUESS THAT YOU'RE GONNA LIVE ON FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.
CG: JUST TO KEEP OUR LEGACIES ALIVE.
AG: im n8t l8st8n8ng
CG: I GUESS I KIND OF ADMIRE YOU.
AG: w8 dont go
CG: LOOK, YOU'RE STRONGER THAN ME. I CAN'T TAKE THIS MUCH HORSE SHIT.
CG: SEE YOU AROUND.
-- [CG] committed suicide! --
AG: fuck8ss ::::(
TC: ...
AG: Gamzee?
TC: PeEr PrEsSuRe MoThErFuCkEr.
-- [TC] committed suicide! --

[mythmonster2]

I'm not sure what it means that I was laughing like a maniac throughout the whole story.

[ArmsAreLoud]

Oh dear gog EB I shouldn't be laughing at that but I am LAUGHING SO HARD YOU HAVE NO IDEA

[Kassiopeia]

AHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS THE BEST. THE BEST. OH MY GOD, this is all going to make studying the Antigone this year SO MUCH MORE BEARABLE. (also Bass I didn't know you were Classically-inclined :3)

[DJ-P0N3]

egregiousBass, that was
I

so beautiful

[egregiousBass]

Oh dear gog EB I shouldn't be laughing at that but I am LAUGHING SO HARD YOU HAVE NO IDEA

I laughed too when Antigone ended. It was like World War I except instead of declaring war everyone killed themselves.

I've gone ahead and sigged these dumb things. Surely they are worth preserving.

[Karijou]

Well, I know I posted pretty recently in this thread, but I've actually just finished another fic, sooo... I guess I'll be putting it here! It's set in the same universe as Lucien/Seraph's "Violetescence," focusing mainly on Rose Egbert. For background:

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You are ROSE EGBERT, and you will soon be the SEER OF BREATH. You inhabit the LAND OF WIND AND RAIN, both in and out of the Incipisphere, and yet you have somehow retained your UNFLINCHINGLY CHEERFUL DISPOSITION. You have a bit of A THING FOR MAGICIANS, and you find the mysterious way in which they present themselves to have an undeniable allure. You also have a fondness for games, though you often have trouble getting your friends to play them with you.

Your chumhandle is talentedThaumaturge, and you type in a teasing, yet thoroughly amicable, manner.

No warnings this time, actually; apparently I usually write things that don't involve terror and Dersites!

Blue Breezes Soft, on AO3

[penguinbound]

I'm actually pretty nervous about posting this, but uh, here we go. This is the first part in a series about the human alternates of the Trolls. I hope you like it, or something!

Cancer

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His mother was sick. Even if no one told him, he was able to tell that she was sick. So when she went to the hospital, he turned to his father, and asked why mommy was sick. He responded that they didn’t know yet. He knew that was a lie. There were obvious signs that he could see, even as a twelve year old. His father responded, and told him that she had cancer. He blinked, and asked if she was gonna be okay. He said that they didn’t know. He knew that was the truth. So, a few weeks later, when his father came home from the hospital, and sat him down on the couch, and told him his mother had died, he wasn’t surprised. Just sad. So, he stood up with silent tears, and went back to his room, and lay on his bed, tears crawling along his face. He let out a shaky sigh, and wished he had his mother back. At the funeral, his relatives gave him hugs, gave him kisses, but, they didn’t mean anything to him. It felt as if everything had been desensitized.

So, he returned to school a week later, and the other kids said sorry to him, if they were brave enough, and others just avoided looking at him. The words were meaningless. They didn’t understand. So, he kept himself silent, and sat through classes, and managed to get through the day. At home, he continued to stay in bed, not wanting to go outside, where others were happy. How could anyone else be happy, when he was so sad? His birthday was a few days later. His dad got him a computer, and set it up in his room. He moved his movie collection into the closet, and his dad set things up for him. After browsing the internet for a while, he found a web site, offering a download of the new chat client Pesterchum. After a bit of hesitation, he downloaded it, and clicked on it, watching as it loaded everything up.

He needed a Chumhandle. He had no idea what to use. He thought about putting something that would represent his mood. But, he wouldn’t want others scared off, would he? Alright, maybe he would want that, a little, but he kind of hoped to gain some new friends from this, even if they were only internet ones. Then, he remembered his mother. Her disease that they had gotten too late. he wrote cancer inside the first block. Inside the second, he typed Biologist in. Then, he clicked accept. The name was registered, and a small message block popped up, wishing him a fun experience with Pesterchum. He closed out of it, and sat for a moment. How would on even go about talking to people on here? He clicked on the options menu, and he saw a member list. Clicking on that brought him to a large list of names. He clicked on the first name, and saw two options, chat and block. Closing out of that, he started scrolling down the list of names. He randomly clicked on one, and saw the highlighted name. FatallyErratic. He clicked on chat, and started with a simple hello.
- - -
He wasn’t comfortable with this, but, lately, he wasn’t comfortable with a lot of things. He wasn’t comfortable with destroying his planet, nor was he comfortable flinging his home into some weird place filled with monsters hell bent on destroying him and his friends. He particularly wasn’t having fun dealing with the stress of being the leader of his friends, and having to talk to those annoying trolls that seemed to be trying to help them by being mean-spirited, or something. So when the trolls started whining about them being near the end, and about them needing to get all the levels, and ascend to something, he was near fed up, so he took it out upon various enemies around him, mostly imps, and, despite him not being a fighter, really, he found it quite releasing. And then, he reached the top of his Echeladder.

He hadn’t thought much about his quest bed, some stupid, uncomfortable rock in the middle of one of the copious red streams that curved around his planet. He hopped onto it with a leap, and slowly, cautiously, walked up to it. He had been instructed to just lay down on it and sleep. He just wished he would’ve known he was going to die, then. He hadn’t seen what had killed him, but it was a stinging pain, one that stabbed at his entire body. Then, he woke up. Somewhere different, but now, he felt much stronger.

He had become the Heir of Blood.
- - -
He had lead his team through hardships. He had seen some of them die on their quest beds. He had learned to deal with hearing, seeing, feeling their blood move through their bodies. He helped them, as much as he could have, deal with their new “gifts.” He had created ectoclones of himself, and his friends. He had finally gotten the better of his want to stay home. So, when he, and his friends, stood together in front of the Black King, with their strongest weapons, their highest levels attained, he was...

Comfortable with it.

[DeadBrain]

Hobbes, the stuffed tiger of that blonde kid, never heard of them? :D

Oh, that hobbes. I thought he was an IRL person based on someone's post in a gen chat thread.
No first hand experience. Sorry.

@Arms: That is a grubfic I am empathically 0k with. You even went so far as to justify both their lackings in baby hate.

In the realm of IRL crossovers:

Homestuck meets Sophocles

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CG: OKAY, SO
CG: I KNOW WE HAD A STRICT NO-MEMO POLICY HERE
CG: BUT THIS IS REALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT SO PAY ATTENTION.
CG: TAVROS IS DEAD.
TC: :o
AC: :CC > Oh noooo!
CA: wwhat the fuck
GA: What The Hell Happened
AG: ::::(
TA: oh don't giive u2 that crap vrii2ka
TA: ii bet you're the one who kiiled hiim iin the fiir2t place
AG: Bl8h bl8h!
CC: T) (is is no time for pointing the FING----ER!
CG: FISHWOMAN IS CORRECT. LET'S KEEP IT REAL HERE.
CG: EVEN WORSE, I FOUND TEREZI'S CORPSE RIGHT NEXT TO TAVROS'.
CG: SEEMS LIKE SHE COMMITTED SUICIDE.
AG: W8 what?
AC: :CC > *Nepeta is confident in the pouncellor's survival*
CG: ACTUALLY NO, SHE'S DEAD AS A LOAD GAPER.
TA: kk have 2ome tact for fuck2 2ake
CG: LOOK, I'M SHAKING ALL OVER AS I TYPE THIS BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I CAN GO HAVE AN EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN. I'M THE FEARLESS LEADER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
AC: :CC > What about me?
CG: ACTUALLY SURE GO AHEAD.
AC: :CC > *the kitty is griefstruck by her great leader's passing!*
AC: :CC > *she may not be able to go on without her!*
CG: NO WAIT, STOP THAT.
AC: :CC > I <3 you karkles...
-- [AC] committed suicide! --
CG: AFGSFDASFGAS
TA: now look what you've done, 2tupiid.
CG: SHUT YOUR WHORE CHUTE.
CT: D--> N-nepeta!
CG: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
CT: D--> I've failed her. This will not do.
CT: D--> I'm an utter failure. A disgrace to you all!
CT: D--> ...anyone have a towel?
GA: Im Afraid Weve Run Out
-- [CT] committed suicide! --
CA: is there evven anyone here wwith a sound state of mind
CG: I DOUBT ANYONE HERE EVEN CARES ABOUT HIM SO I GUESS WE'RE COOL.
AG: I c8re!
CG: SHUT YOUR FACE.
TA: ii2 that all?
TC: i'M tHrOwInG a HoRn PiLe TiCkEt SaLe, My BrOtHeRs
CG: HOLD YOUR RECENTLY DISEASED HORSES FOR JUST A SECOND.
CG: BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THERE IS A SILVER LINING TO ALL OF THIS.
TA: aradiia liive2?
CC: WOW!
AG: 8888)
CG: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KNOW THAT.
TA: you alway2 have your head too far up your nook two notice what'2 goiing on around you.
CG: WELL EXCUSE ME FOR THINKING I'D FOUND SOMETHING THAT WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY.
TA: whatever.
TA: iin any ca2e ii'm glad two have my mate2priit back.
CC: W) (AT?!
TA: oh 2hiit.
TA: 2orry, ii 2hould've told you.
CC: how could you do this 8(
CC: I trusted you sollux!
TA: ii diidn't thiink you'd miind that much
TA: diidn't we become mate2priit'2 becau2e you piitiied me anyway?
CC: UGH
CC: No Sollux, I actually loved you! Does that word make any sense to you?
CC: LOV----E
TA: ii'm 2orry
CC: Too lat---E! I'm through. I've had enough.
CC: Goodbye.
TA: waiit
TA: plea2e
-- [CC] committed suicide! --
TA: feferii...
CG: WHO'S THE TACTLESS BITCH NOW, BITCH?
TA: you know what kk
TA: you're ab2olutely riight
CG: HEY WAIT
CG: I DIDN'T REALLY MEAN THAT
-- [TA] committed suicide! --
CG: AAAAAAAAAAA
CA: noooooo sollux
AG: ?
CA: i mean
CA: nooooo feferi
-- [CA] committed suicide! --
GA: This Is All A Bit Overwhelming
CG: KANAYA, NOT YOU TOO. COME ON.
GA: My Apologies
GA: Will You Give Me Leave
CG: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
CG: I'M THE FUCKIEST MOIRAIL EVER.
GA: No You Were The Best
GA: Goodbye
CG: See you around...
-- [GA] committed suicide! --
AG: EVERY8ODY ST8P.
AG: Wh8t the hell just happened????????
CG: YOU KILLED TAVROS AND EVERYONE BEGAN OFFING THEMSELVES. ISN'T IT OBVIOUS?
AG: You still don't g8t it do you?
AG: I killed him so he could asc8nd to the god tiers!
CG: THAT REEKS OF BULLSHIT BUT OK.
AG: 8ut it looks like someone didn't pl8 their part!
AG: I know you're h8re so come out!
AA: 0_0
AG: So what's the deal? Why didn't you do it?
AA: i was c0ntemplating it.
AA: but in my newly acquired state of life, i s0ught to break free by d0ing n0thing.
AA: and s0 it seems i have 0nce again d00med us all thr0ugh my passiveness.
AA: i'm s0rry.
AG: Rew8nd already! We c8n fix this!
AA: and d00m myself in the pr0cess? i'm thr0ugh with that s0rt 0f thing.
AA: i am taking an individualistic c0urse 0f acti0n and i expect y0u t0 f0ll0w.
AG: 8888888888888888888888888888
-- [AA] committed suicide! --
CG: WELL, WASN'T THAT SHORT LIVED.
AG: stupidstupiddumbihateyouihateyou
CG: IT'S FUNNY THAT YOU'RE SHITTING BRICKS OVER EVERYONE BEING DEAD WHILE THE SENSATION FEELS NUMB TO ME AT BEST.
CG: IS IT BECAUSE I'M NOT THE ONE WHO MURDERED THEM OR BECAUSE I'VE ALREADY DECIDED TO OFF MYSELF?
AG: f8ck you karkat!
AG: I only made one mist8ke and then they just got suicidal!
CG: GAMZEE?
TC: nAh I'm GoOd
CG: IN ANY CASE, I FIND IT LAUGHABLE THAT YOU'RE STILL PRETENDING NOT TO BLAME YOURSELF FOR ALL OF THIS.
AG: Ok8, fine, you got me. You've successfully trolled me. H8ppy now????????
CG: I DON'T GIVE A FUCK, REALLY.
CG: ALTHOUGH I CAN GUESS THAT YOU'RE GONNA LIVE ON FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.
CG: JUST TO KEEP OUR LEGACIES ALIVE.
AG: im n8t l8st8n8ng
CG: I GUESS I KIND OF ADMIRE YOU.
AG: w8 dont go
CG: LOOK, YOU'RE STRONGER THAN ME. I CAN'T TAKE THIS MUCH HORSE SHIT.
CG: SEE YOU AROUND.
-- [CG] committed suicide! --
AG: fuck8ss ::::(
TC: ...
AG: Gamzee?
TC: PeEr PrEsSuRe MoThErFuCkEr.
-- [TC] committed suicide! --

This is pretty much definition of this.

[Tybian Sothoth]

http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post4515717
http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post4517215
http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post4521451
http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post4525474
http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post4526712
http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post4526848
http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post4531039
http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...=1#post4532950

The Survivor
Chapter 9

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==>

Looks like your explosive temper has finally become just that! You survery the large crater you just left in the Land of Sand and Zephyr.

Tybian: Think of a new plan

You decide that trying to speak with all of the idiots at once is a pretty bad idea, you're not exactly sure why you thought that was a good idea in the first place.
You catch your TELESCOPE and begin stargazing for a nearby planet. You spot a nice white one not too far away, there are other planets between you and it, but you'll avoid them since they look kind of dull.

Number one! Engage warp thrusters!
...

You have a feeling that sounded really corny. Good thing nobody was here to hear that.

Unfortunately, someone DID hear that, but they aren't telling everyone about the stupid line you just uttered. No, they're in the middle of trying to message their leaders about the weird GREEN caped fellow!!

Draconian Dignitary: Receive message

Weird GREEN caped fellow hmm? You remember seeing a PURPLE caped fellow around, but not a GREEN one. You might have to take a look into this.

Tybian: Appear! and Survey!

The ground beneath you seems to be made up of small CUBES. You pick up a loose cube and taste it. Whoa, that's really sweet! There are huge TEAPOTS everywhere! What the fucking kind of planet is this? It's like it's sole purpose is to serve as an underlying joke not meant for you to understand.

Land of Little Cubes and Tea

Whatever.
You take a look through your TELESCOPE to see if anyone is nearby. Nothing but imps, imps, and horrible tentacle nightmare creatures. Yeesh, this place has absolutely no sense of style, it's like somebody threw Alice in Trollerworld and some H.P. Trollcraft books in a blender and shit out this monstrosity.
Oh well, no point in fretting about appearance, it's time to get a better look at this white eyesore.

Tybian: Head to that cliff!

You find yourself at the edge of a large canyon overlooking a huge plain of white with TEAPOTS and TEACUPS dotting the expanse. There are fucking imps EVERYWHERE, but it seems like they're heading to the large TEA KETTLE TOWER on the horizon. You're not sure what the deal is, but it's none of your concern.
You catch a glimpse of a scuffle directly below you.

IT'S HIM