MSPA Fanfiction IV

[Graven_Image]

Graven... What was all that?

It was a bunch of indy game characters singing 80's hits in a chat room.

What did it look like?

[SkaianRedeemer]

You really should read them. They're all good books, really good books.

Not quite what I've heard, specifically:

all

...that part. But the reason I haven't read the original is because my booklist is a mile long. Right now I'm reading The Silmarillion, because I am a masochist (actually, it's good from the perspective I would enjoy Norse Myths, but not "good" in the sense that I'm eager to sit down with it).

@QuetzaDraka: And people already practically explode when they break in the AA universe! The combination could be ...EPIC.

[Metaflare]

@Meta Oh noooooo don't break Nick People practically explode themselves when they break in your universe!

Oh he'll be fine

eventually

[KarneWarrior]

You really should read them. They're all good books, really good books.

Not quite what I've heard, specifically:

all

...that part. But the reason I haven't read the original is because my booklist is a mile long. Right now I'm reading The Silmarillion, because I am a masochist (actually, it's good from the perspective I would enjoy Norse Myths, but not "good" in the sense that I'm eager to sit down with it).

The Alvin the Maker series is total suck, I guess. But most if not all of the Ender series is worth reading, and the Bean spinoff series as well.

Anyone who tells you otherwise is too locked into their culture to appreciate what he did with the final three books, when Ender is growing up and trying to settle down on Lusitania.

[Author]

Hi Author! Don't tempt me with classic, rereleased games. I will be tempted to recommend more (PlanetfallwasrereleasedPlanetfallwasrereleased). Good luck with the catch-up, I can't imagine where you intend to start. :S

By catch-up, I meant 'ignore everything and praise everyone for being awesome.'

But that's beside the point. I'll start a quick fic after my block fades.

STUPID BLOCK BLOCKING MY WRITING ABILITIES.

[MessiahForHire]

Hey Fanfic thread, what's up? :D
(The secret twist ending is that I don't really follow this thread and am missing out on a lot of awesome writing because I'm always amazed whenever I venture here because you folks are so talented with words.)

I'm just kinda here to post something I did. (This is the first creative writing I've started and completed outside of school in years. Wow.)

Also I kinda did most of it a few weeks ago and only got around to finishing it now, so it's not exactly seamless since I forgot a few details that I probably wanted to include originally, so it's definitely unclear about a couple of things unintentionally. Sorry about that. I just wanted to finish it so that it wouldn't collect dust in my general WIP folder. I guess I just like to occasionally dip my toes into non-visual arts then wonder what the hell I was thinking.
/cool story bro

It's Untitled. :V

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Oh no. This isn't good. How could that happen; this isn't right. This shouldn't be happening why is this happening. No no no no no don't let this happen.

But it is happening. If it weren't happening, well, then that would mean that something was seriously wrong; you've already watched it happen a hundred times. Of course it had to happen this way; these things already happened. Will happen. Are happening. Whichever, really; they all mean the same thing. It doesn't matter, since you're more worried about this mess you just caused.

Why did you say that. Why. You're so stupid; how could you say that! Everything you've worked for could have just been lost in a minute because you just couldn't stop and now you've said something stupid that came out completely wrong. You really really don't want to go down this road again it only ends in heartbreak and you really don't think you could deal with that sort of thing especially not now and--

Okay, stop. Hold that thought. Breathe. Slow, deep breaths. It's still salvageable. Just don't start panicking lest everyone else see fit to barge in on your business. You can do this. All you need to do is just tell her exactly what you feel. That was the problem before, and it looks like this is the problem now. Just breathe, relax, then speak your mind. Easy. No problem. You'll feel better, and she might too. Go for it.

Your hands hover for a moment over the awaiting keys. You're ready, she looks like she has the time to listen, no one's looking over your shoulder. You can do this. There's no reason to not do this now.

Okay wait yes there is. There are actually at least hundred reasons. You should mull this idea over some more, and plan it out better. Being spontaneous never got you anywhere. If you just blurted this out thoughtlessly, you'd appear silly. Maybe she'd think you were joking. She said you were making progress on that, so her first reaction would not be sincere. Besides, if you told her now, that's just something else for her to worry about, and worrying about more things is the last thing she needs. Not to mention that she probably doesn't even feel the same way. If you told her, she'd probably laugh at you. Stop chasing girls like this; they won't ever feel the same way. Why are you just setting yourself up for heartbreak? You know they're just going to swoon over someone else.

Silly you, always having feelings for the people who won't return them. Silly, miserable, pitable you.

Still. The only way to know is to do it. Looking over your shoulder, you're reminded why this is still the best option. Not saying anything means you'll probably not be able to take it when everything comes crashing down. Might as well get it over with, then. Best to do it when she's a little preoccupied, maybe. That way you'll have a way out, and she'll be busy enough with her things that she won't mind terribly.

Okay. You can do this. Send the message; don't leave before trying.

The greeting's sent. She responded. Second thoughts. Shit. Stall.

GA: Are You Busy

Of course she is, you idiot. You started here because she's busy.

She makes time for you anyways.

Okay, so you're locked into conversation now. Do it. Tell her. Get it over with. Go.

She asks about your motives. Shit. You should have come in with an excuse. You're just continuously doing idiotic things, aren't you. Okay, just come up with something fast. Think on your feet. How can you draw this out.

GA: How Well Do You Remember Our Past Conversations

Wow what is even wrong with you. They were only a few hours ago for her, idiot.

GA: Specifically The Conversation Wherein We Exchanged Our Ignorance On A Subject
GA: Where I First Revealed That The Viewport Went Dark When Viewing You Specifically And You Asked Me About The Green Sun

She remembers well. She brings it up by mentioning your slip. She's definitely curious about this very thick, hypothetical book. How does she always manage you get you on the defensive. That's not how this is supposed to go. Shit shit shit shit shit. Why does this have to be so damned hard. Why are you such a coward. Why why why why why can't you just suck it up and tell her.

You can't say anything more about the viewport. That subject is old news and bringing it up would only make it more suspicious. Why does she have to be so good at figuring you out it's so infuriating. And no one knows anything about the Green Sun, so that's a dead end too.

Wait.

The Green Sun.

You did ask Karkat.

You have a way out. A terrible one, but it can still work.

You tell her that you asked Karkat about the Sun. You tell her that he had no idea what it was precisely. You also let her know that he must have been in contact with some of them in the future because they had mentioned it and it was part of an important plan. She lets you know that you've began to ramble.

You can tell that she's already figured out that you deviated from the original intention you had in contacting her by the way she asked if that was the only thing you wanted to tell her. You tell her that what you just said was the important thing for her to know, and that anything else you might want to tell her right now is largely unimportant, since there's somewhere you need to be right now. Not exactly a lie, since you're worried that Terezi might have been eavesdropping. You can't ever tell with her nose.

Actually, what you said was fairly truthful, just incredibly vague. You don't think that she's that interested in your deep feelings, and you really need to get to your room before you completely break down.

You exchange your goodbyes as fast as you can without betraying this, and rush off to your room before anyone becomes any more interested in you than they already might be.

You never tell anyone why you wouldn't respond to any messages for so long.

Yeah okay the last bit that I added on today is pretty terrible because it's a huge change in style and tone but I just wanted this done. Enjoy. :v

[Doodled]

So many awesome fics...

Gog-damn it, I gotta get back in on this action...

[Douhneill]

Graven... What was all that?

It was a bunch of indy game characters singing 80's hits in a chat room.

What did it look like?

A bunch of indy game characters singing 80's hits in a chat room.

But the sheer audacity made me have to ask.

[Rebbe]

HUFF PUFF, I have been bullied and/or flattered into posting here by a certain someone -- whom I shall leave nameless, of course -- and so. New to the forums, been writing HOMESTUCK fic for a few months now, blah blah blah etc etc etc. You know the deal. Have some fanfiction!

Maximum Potential -- a Dave/Jade thing that I wrote for my bro Ari, whom I believe goes by 'emesis' over here on these forums? I don't know.

Discordant -- an Aradia thing with a touch of Sollux♥Aradia, which I wrote for my bro Pelly. She probably has an account here too, but I've no clue what it would be. Mmm, and this was inspired by a piece of fanart done by luzerna@DA.

Thicker Than Water -- some Terezi♥Vriska for fun! Ari is partially to blame for this one, too.

Cut to Coda -- and some Dave, in the aftermath of certain updates that occurred just over a month ago.

Roundabouts -- some nice Tavros♠Vriska. Inspired by a certain piece of fanart done by eyes5@DA? You bet!

Camaraderie -- an AU in which Diamonds Droog adopts Aradia. Written at Ari's request after a long conversation in which we decided that this would be the best thing ever.

And that's all for now. I haven't been writing much recently, but eh, I'll see if I can do something about that in the near future. In any case, please enjoy!! (:

[Kerensky287]

Sorry guys, accidentally took my "Break day" a day early because the Dissidia 2 demo hit the net. I'm off work tomorrow though, so I'll see about doing CJs and a chapter/short story in the same day.

MAYBE YOU GUYS CAN STOP POSTING 60 AWESOME FICS A DAY SO I CAN CATCH UP HUH

[Metaflare]

a Dave/Jade thing that I wrote for my bro Ari, whom I believe goes by 'emesis' over here on these forums?

you know emesis, you are instantly amazing

[Miss Prince]

@Rebbe: I love your fic! I've sort of poked through your archives since I found that link to How Serendipitous! In addition to that one, which is awesome and not on your list, I particularly like Thicker Than Water and Camaraderie.

[Rebbe]

@Metaflare -- ARI IS THE COOLEST, YES. I cannot hope to measure up to her, but I will try c:

@Miss Prince -- Ah, thank you kindly!! And yeah, I didn't link to a couple of things because it would feel wrong/arrogant to do so, since I wrote them anonymously for the anonmeme ]:

[Dex Davican]

I am about 90% sure I know who the jerk with the gray text is, and I love that guy! Even though he ate all the hotpods.

Oh, duh.

[mewtant-307k]

I'm really fond of that oneshot, Messiah That stream-o-consciousness inner monologue type of deal is a style I've always liked.

[Doodled]

First: Rebbe. You're awesome.

Second: Here comes a late-night part 5 to my unnamed mystery series:

Couple of things about this:
1. First and Second Part, Third Part, and Fourth Part
2. This takes place as if the events of [S] Wake (not to mention quite a few other events) had never happened. Tavros is alive, Aradia is dead, Vriska is only a casual bee-yotch, etc.

Without further ado:

Trickled Down

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"Okay"

is highly subjective.

Nevertheless, when Nepeta, Sollux, and Terezi had arrived in the hall, they deemed Gamzee to be "okay."

His entire right arm was blown off, strawberry-flavored Faygo being split all over the floor, alongside his deep, indigo blood.

His eyes were open wide, still having trouble believing what had happened.

As his blood continued to drip continuously onto the floor from the cavity in his nubb'd arm, the other 8 trolls looked on in silence.

Finally, Nepeta spoke.

":33 < get some LEEEEEEEEEAVES!''

She shoo'd Equius to the respiteblock of the late Kanaya Maryam, where medical supplies were sure to be held.

Terezi attempted to get some information from the frightened Gamzee, but no words came out. He was clearly shocked to the point of being unable to act laid-back.

The next seconds ached on too long for everyone, as another drop of blue-purple blood wet the floor upon impact.

"EQUIUS, WHAT THE FUCK IS TAKING SO LONG?!"
"uHH, kARKAT, i DON'T THINK HE CAN HEA-"

Suddenly, Tavros stiffened up.

He proceeded to screech in laughter before slapping himself around and tugging at his own horns.

Vriska cackled.

"VRISKA, GOG-DAMN IT. I TOLD YOU TO STOP SCREWING AROUND WITH HIS MIND!"

Seconds went by.

Then a minute.

"W3 SHOULD PROB4BLY L4Y G4MZ33 DOWN, K4RKL3S."
"DON'T FUCKING CALL ME THAT."

It was troublesome without Equius being STRONG, but the trolls managed to lay Gamzee down.

"if eq takes much longer, gam wwill be as good as..."

Terezi punched Eridan in the arm. Hard.

"and you'd be fiine wiith that, wouldn't you, Eriidan?”
"i swwear, if you're still insinuating that i..."

"3R1D4N! SOLLUX! SHUT UP!"
"BOTH OF YOU!"

As Terezi continued in calming Gamzee down, Nepeta was becoming visibly nervous.

"Wh8t's the maaaaaaaatter, Nepeta?”

Karkat stood up. He realized something.

We just left Equius alone...

"OH FUCK!"

Karkat led the way of what had become rather repetitive by this time.

The trolls followed Karkat through the halls of the asteroid, eventually happening upon Kanaya's respiteblock.

Vriska stayed back.

The memories were too... distressing...

Karkat burst through the door, nub-horns first.

He wish he hadn't.

For there, pinned to the wall, was Equius.

Pinned by a sword. A nasty gash spread across Equius's midsection.

His deep blue blood trickled down, staining the sword.

The sword already stained by a lighter color of blue, and a dazzling shade of violet.

Vriska and Sollux walked away almost immediately, quickly followed by Eridan and Tavros.

Nepeta just stood and stared.

She shook a bit, causing her cat-hat to brush her hair.

She shook again, for the good feeling of the brushing hat.

Nepeta walked into the room, avoiding all eye contact with the corpse. She grabbed the medical supplies, then silently walked out of the room.

An emerald tear had come floating down her cheek.

Terezi had already walked up to examine the sword, but Karkat stood back.

He just couldn't take it. He was the leader, right? And now...

Karkat walked away.

Terezi was alone.

All alone.

Before, she had never really despised the feeling, as she had all the control that she wanted: Her rope could lynch all the dragons that she wanted to, and her words could manipulate anyone else.

She was always in control, but not now.

She knew she had to stay though, so she pulled out her cane, and thwacked it against her palm.

It would have to do.

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The "leaves" were successfully used on Gamzee, who, while alive, looked to be nearly brain-dead.

Of course, he had always seemed that way before.

It was more of a "spirit-dead", if not anything else.

Sollux glared at Eridan with all of his might, with Vriska, amazingly, trying to stop any unnecessary violence.

Despite her oddly peace-keeping attitude, Tavros huddled in a corner as far away from her as possible.

Nepeta noticed that Karkat was still missing.

She left the main room, walking towards Karkat's respiteblock.

A cord seemed to appear right in front of her

and as she tripped, a whistle went through the air...

A stringy trap came down upon Nepeta, scooped her up, and attached her to the wall!

A menacing laugh came from the darkness as Nepeta struggled fruitlessly against the contraption that held her captive.

It was no use. A figure came walking up to her, brandishing a knife...

She tried to scream, but no words came out.

A/N

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Is the ending a bit too cliche?

Oh well.

Man, I just had to get back in on the fanfic action...

Also, sorry that the part is so short. :P I feel like an idiot making such a big deal out of so little...

[Kassiopeia]

REBBE REBBE HI

(you know I think all your fic is fantastic and I will do some proper commentary once I am done with class today )
(I will not deny a certain MAD FONDNESS for that DD&Aradia fic though. One of my favourite things.)

[Unlogic]

Hello fanfic thread, I've never really written fanfiction before, but I couldn't stop thinking about this, so here you go.

Him Again

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This short crosspost brought to you by the Troll!Cops AU.

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Please read it.

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It's about Hussie.

And now that I finally managed to write something, I would like to say that EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU HERE IS FANTASTICALLY AMAZING and you all have managed to make each and every day of the last several months better with your amazing writings.

[apocalypticCritic]

I loved it. It made me literally laugh out loud. In the middle of the school commons. I got strange looks.

Also I really should read the TROLL!COPS thread. It seems to be appropriately zany.

[Katrika]

Rebbe, Roundabouts was WONDERFUL. As were the others. Never leave.

Doodled, OMG on the edge of my seat.

...I really need to write something again.

[Graven_Image]

Rebbe, you've inspired me to make a (sort of) Aradia fic.

HOW U DO THIS


Shadow in Light, Light in Death

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The first thing she notices is the blood.

Brown, first and foremost.

The blood of an innocent, spilled needlessly and completely according to the bearer's plan. She'd tell you it was self-defense. She'd be lying.

Cerulean, second.

Most significantly, from the wound that once housed her eye.

But not the good eye

She'd never let herself lose the good eye

It still trickles, sending macabre tears down the deranged scowl painted onto her face.

Less noticeable are the rivulets dripping down her arm, from the vice grip she has on her dice.

Totems, almost. Idols she worships, miniscule monuments to randomness and chaos. Now they're done serving her. They get their payment in blood.

Just behind the physical, she sees the spirit, as is her right as a speaker for the dead.

The ghost of the girl in front of her is splattered with blood. Green, purple, yellow, orange, pink.

And most recently, candy red.

Under the caked-on layers of blood, tears, and callous, she spies her own.

Dark red.

Trash.

Not worth thinking about.

And yet here they are, face to face as equals. And the "trash" is fated to be the victor.

"I knew you were nothing but trouble," she says, lifting up her blood-soaked weapons one last time. "I shouldn't have sent the hacker to do what I should have finished."

She advances, slowly. Her wings twitch erratically, though due to nerves or the sheer damage they've sustained, she couldn't tell.

"You're a bleeding heart, Aradia. Pure and simple. If you hadn't butted in for your poor, precious Tavros, none of this would have happened."

A dim smile manages to worm its way out of her expression.

"And you were still too late to save him."

She casts the dice, trailing her own drained fluids as she does so.

"And like it or not, you're about to join him!"

[mutecebu]

Hello fanfic thread, I've never really written fanfiction before, but I couldn't stop thinking about this, so here you go.

Him Again

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This short crosspost brought to you by the Troll!Cops AU.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Please read it.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

It's about Hussie.

And now that I finally managed to write something, I would like to say that EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU HERE IS FANTASTICALLY AMAZING and you all have managed to make each and every day of the last several months better with your amazing writings.

Oh man, I laughed more at this than any other fanfic I've read, I think.

[UrbanGrifter]

Um, hi, everyone! I'm actually currently writing a fanfic on the ~chan but not everyone goes there, so I thought I'd post what I'm working on here as well. I don't mind critique at all, as this is the only fan fic I have ever been moved to write. Please to be letting me know what you think. It's in progress, so... thanks for looking! If you've already seen this, I'm sorry! If this is a dumb way to post fic, please let me know, I'm not very forum-literate. It's called Alternate Alternate Earth.

Part one

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The show was fucking great but Dave didn't want to betray his excitement to his companion. No, he was far too chill do do something entry-level like that. He stood, back to the greasy wall, hands crammed in the pockets of his skinny jeans. The air was humid and thick with the stench of a hundred different kinds of body spray and laundry detergent. Rose squeezed against him, holding her microbrew close to her chest as herds of ironic people in ironic clothes inched back and forth, pretending to ignore the band like they were.

"Why do we come to these dreadful things again?" Rose deadpanned, not looking in his direction.

"Because everyone does. I guarantee these people will be huge next year, and we saw them for 12 dollars. You can't buy that kind of cred, you know."

"Honestly, I don't care about 'cred'. I only come to annoy Jade, who doesn't like it when I stay out late. I did, however, write her a note in apology for inconveniencing her, and knitted her a little stuffed Bec." She sighed heavily. "Jade doesn't care about my oneupmanship. It's times like these I miss Mother."

"That was a hundred lifetimes ago. Well, it feels that way to me, anyway. Sometimes I forget when I am. I dream we're all still thirteen, enduring the troll's ideas of sick burns."

She didn't respond for a long time. She emptied her glass, set it on the counter behind her and rewound the scarf around her neck.

"Lets abscond, it's far too hot."

"Cool. Leaving before the show's over is best, anyway."

They wound their way around the swarm of people and down the narrow stairs, past the pool table, out into the frost. Dave turned the collar of his peacoat up and Rose slid her gloves on as they crossed the intersection, on their way home.

"What do you think they're up to tonight?"

Dave's mouth moved dangerously close to forming a grin. "I assume a Face/off marathon. Jade will endure anything. She's a real good sport."

Manhattan was in full holiday mode. Lights adorned the few plants outside the apartment buildings and shops, and the burnt, acrid smell of roasting chestnuts filled the air. They found the nearest subway entrance, and swiped their cards to get through the turnstile. They could already hear the telltale screeching of the subway car making it's way to the stop. The doors slid open after it arrived, and there were no empty seats, even this late on a Wednesday night, so they grabbed on to a metal pole, and lurched back as the car started up again on it's way across the East River.

"Kinda miss those days sometimes. Having a grown up job and everything is nice and stable, but intergalactic magic and time travel are pretty hard to beat, don't you think?"

"Strider, you really ought to keep your mouth shut. Nothing has technically been resolved, if you are to be believed. All of this is simply an alternate timeline. We are just alternate selves. Who knows what Scratch is capable of? Why invite trouble here, in this place?"

"You're paranoid. If something in the past causes me to lose control, believe me, you'll know it. Besides," he said as he pushed his shades up his nose, "We're too clever for those losers. I'm sure we'll concoct some rad plan they can't do shit about."

Rose arched a brow. "I'm ecstatic you can be so cavalier. As a courtesy to us former eldritch magicians, however, could you refrain?"

Dave sighed as they reached their stop and got off. They walked the two blocks to their building, breath steaming in the frigid darkness. Rose's keys jangled as she pulled them from the pocket of her coat. As soon as the key slid into the lock and connected, the hallway lit up like white fire. A pale, pulsing circle of energy surrounded Rose like a shield. The ends of her hair slowly raised, like she'd been struck by lightning. Her eyes widened, and her lips formed an O of horror. She slowly shook her head and held a gloved hand in front of her, as though she could stop whatever was happening to her. The air crackled, like it was alive. A ghostly projection of Eridan with his hand extended dramatically skyward, appeared. He stood in some kind of library.

"Wwell, if it isn't Rose Lalonde, Seer of Light. You thought you could slip away, just like that, land dwweller?"

"Well, this is dramatic." said Rose, recovering her wits.

"Wwe have a beautiful rivvalry, darlin', and I aim to collect. I am powwerful now, just like you. I aint a fuckin' chump anymore."

Dave face palmed. "Are you serious? Out of all the trolls they could send to fuck with us, they send this sad sack. I feel like we should be insulted."

"Don't wwaste your breath, filthy mud wwalker. Wwe're not safely tucked awway in another galaxy anymore. You think you're the only ones wwith echeladders to climb? Wwe'vve surpassed you grubs in evvery way."

"All right, Eridan. We're all very impressed."

"Of course you are. I'm a far more powwerful wwizard than you noww, Rose Lalonde. But you do have a point. Time to leavve the useless humans here to rot. A magician like you, though, is too vvaluable to wwaste. You're coming wwith me."

The projection slowly squeezed its open hand into a fist, and the energy bubble popped, taking Rose with it.

Dave, agape, walked through the space where Rose had been suspended moments before. He felt nothing. He touched the key in the lock, hoping to conjure up the bubble again, but succeeded only in opening the door. John and Jade were asleep, and Nicholas Cage's sad eyes were plastered all over the television screen. Dave paused, thinking about the implications of such an action on the part of the trolls. They were here somehow, in HIS alternate timeline. He knew the trolls could access their lives at any point, but never this directly, only through the internet. Something had changed. He had to remember. He needed the turntables.

Part two

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"That's ok, you don't havve to thank me for savving you from those morons."

Rose's eyes communicated her complete disgust without replying.

Eridan paced back and forth across the threadbare carpet, hands clasped behind his back. He was trying to formulate what to say, but Rose's icy glare was incredibly distracting. He had restrained her, of course- a witch of her prowess couldn't be trusted to stay put otherwise.
He stopped suddenly, mid stride, and ran ringed fingers through his hair before adjusting his scarf, trying to compose himself. He swiveled to meet the shrew's gaze, and almost decided to give up then and there. He shook his head. He couldn't give up. Not now. He'd finally done something. Something he wanted. He was a fucking wizard now, a real one.

"Listen, wwitch, consider this a favvor. Noww you can commune with people of your status, and you don't havve ta slum it anymore."

"Oh, you're right! I've been thinking about this all wrong. Thank goodness you've shown me the light!"

"See, noww wwas that so hard? You don't havve to be ashamed of your upbringing, I'm positivve it wwasn't your fault."

"Probably a good time to stop talking."

"Hahahahaha. That's right, this is perfect. Don't wworry, I'vve had a long time to think about howw much I hate you."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Look, I think wwe got off on the wwrong fin last time wwe talked, and I thought a lot about wwhat I said. You wwere right to showw me howw dangerous you wwere. I really didn't believve magic was a real thing, I mean, If a highborn prince like me couldn't do it, howw could it be real? Like I said before I knoww you don't understand our culture, but you knoww, I think you're a lot more like us than you think."

"Oh, no, you flatter me. I'm not worthy of such a compliment."

"No, it's true, I mean, I'vve seen you in action, you're totally ruthless. There wwas a time that I had a… partner in crime, a person to share the spoils of perfectly hatched diabolical plots wwith. I… wwe can have that again. You'vve really let yourself go, wwitch. I doubt you could cast evven the most basic spell at this point."

"That reminds me, how exactly did you get here, anyway?"

"Wwhat do you mean?"

"Clearly you are in the same session as we are, and up to this point, I didn't think such a thing was possible. How and why are you here?"

"Oh, wwell, that, I… I don't think that's really important. Besides, our fate lies elsewwhere. Wwho gives a shit about my felloww players, and yours? They're nothing."

"What do you mean 'elsewhere', Eridan?"

"This fuckin planet's ours. Wwe made it. You grubs just live here. There's a million of you land dwwellers, ignoring authority, and I think it's about time to change things around here. Showw the commonbloods wwho's boss."

"You're right, you really have changed. I'm blown away by your nobility and raw ambition."

Eridan flushed and looked at the floor, scratching the back of his head.

"Now, all I need to be your hate buddy forever is my wand; I'm afraid I can't level cities without it."

"You don't carry it wwith you? Shit, if I had a real wwand, I'd nevver let it out of my sight. Howw did you make that thing, anywway?"

"That's a secret for only the most powerful wizards, but I will show you, if you transport my wand here, like you did me."

"Can I make one of my owwn?"

"Of course."

He straightened, a steely look of determination in his eyes. "Consider it done, Rose Lalonde. I havve to prepare, the transportation trick is complicated, and I need to concentrate. I'm sorry for leavvin you in such a state, but considerin you destroyed my computer last time i asked for your help, I don't really trust you."

"I'll be eagerly awaiting your return."

He nodded, and gathered up his purple crushed velvet robes before exiting theatrically, leaving the Earth girl bound behind him. He collapsed into a chair, propped his chin up with his hand, and looked into his bedroom mirror. He tried not to get too excited. He'd only done this spell correctly once. The fact that it worked had surprised even him, he had no idea how he'd done it, exactly. He'd just have to retread the steps he'd taken the night before. Now, let's see…

He heard a knock on the front entrance of his respite block. Feferi's voice carried brightly through his bedroom window from outside. Concentration shattered, he launched himself into the living room and slid to a stop next to the door. He opened it a crack, and smiled the biggest, toothiest smile he could muster.

"Fef! Uh, wwhat brings you here?"

"I wanted to c)(eck up on you, I )(aven't seen you for days, thought some)(ing bad )(ad )(appened!"

"Oh, wwell, don't you wworry your pretty head, darlin', I'm fine. Noww, if you'll excuse me…"

")(a )(a, you can't get rid of me t)(at easily! I broug)(t my trident, I t)(oug)(t we could go )(unting toget)(er!"

"Oh, that wwould be great, but I'm in the middle of vvery important things right noww…"

"Cut it out, silly, I'm coming in. You're so rude!"

She pushed past him, shaking her head. "Really, you're becoming suc)( a )(ermit t)(ese days, it makes me….wait….who is this?"

Rose slowly lifted her head to look at Feferi, her mouth set in a grim line.

Eridan opened and closed his maw and spread his hands, unable to utter a syllable as Feferi gaped at Rose in horror.

"What...is the meaning of this, Eridan?"

"I...can explain…"

She spun angrily and slapped his face. "You are so shellfish! Ugh, I can't stop making puns, even when I'm furious! Now I have to tell everyone what you've done. This is a complete disaster. I hope you're happy!" She stormed out and slammed the door shut behind her. Rose looked at him, her face completely expressionless. He slowly reached up and touched the warm spot Feferi's hand had left on his gilled cheek.

He had to hurry.

Part three

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Dave Strider stood on the lip of his apartment building's rooftop, elbow resting on a bent knee, and watched the sun rise over the New York skyline. His hands were casually tucked into his red jacket pockets, his posture, relaxed. Pale stubble, left untended for the sake of more important matters, was ochre hued in the morning light. Were it not for the almost imperceptible furrow of his brow, his face would have been expressionless; were it not for his totally badass shades, his present company would have seen the dark rings under his eyes.

Not one to toss around cheap cliches, the Knight of Time found himself forced to admit that it had been a long god damned night.

"And we're still fumbling around like three blind mice trying to grab a piece of the farmer's wife's ass."

An irritatingly genial *pap* sounded behind him, presumably John slapping his fist into an open hand with stubborn heroic flair. "Well... we can't give up! The farmer hasn't cut off our tails yet. We have to figure something out! In fact, I'd say that dumb farmer is going to find out we still have a few tricks up our sleeve."

Dave sighed and turned to face his friends. John was smiling defiantly, his eyes bright with the desire to be helpful. It was kind of lame. Jade, on the other hand, had her hands clasped to her heart, hair comically askew, wearing a pitiful expression while staring dramatically skyward.

They looked like they belonged in one of the anime DVDs he prominently displayed in a glass case for ironic purposes. Ridiculous. Not for the first time, found himself missing Rose's essential counterbalance to these lovable weirdos. She was the one who usually kept everyone in line, the one who took shit seriously. Dave felt pressure with her gone. SOMEONE had to get things done.

He hopped off the roof's edge and approached John, whose smile faltered slightly. "I don't think you really understand the situation we're in, man. I dunno about you, but I haven't whipped out any fray motifs, broken swords, or even a vaguely aggressive beat on my mixer in about six years. At this point, I'd say the farmer cut us good. Like a pimp." He poked John roughly. "Try to imagine yourself in the farm. You get your first look at this 'dumb farmer' as you enter a clearing. He moves like a bird, lightly, bobbing his head. And you keep still because you think that maybe his visual acuity is based on movement, like T-Rex--he'll lose you if you don't move. But no, not the farmer. You stare at him, and he just stares right back. And that's when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side..."

He reached a hand inside his jacket's open front, produced a slender cigarette, and clenched it between his teeth.

"From the other two farmers you didn't even know were there," he continued. "Because farmers are pack hunters, you see, they use coordinated attack patterns, and they are out in force today. And he slashes at you with this..." He held up his finger. "A six-inch retractable cutting knife, like a razor. He doesn't bother to bite your jugular like a lion, say... no no. He slashes at you here…"

"Auuuuugh shut uuuuup!" John interrupted, his mouth twisted in confusion. "Did you just quote Jurassic Park...?"

"No, what are you talking about, This is serious business."

"Hehe, like I wouldn't recognize it. You're retarded."

"Ess-tee-eff-you."

"Dave!" Jade squeaked, her mittened hands covering her nose and mouth. "Get that thing out of your mouth! It's bad enough trolls are kidnapping us, we don't need your cancer!"

"It's cool baby I don't light them, it's just for dramatic effect. Anyway, mixed metaphors aside, the sitch is grim, and we're running out of time. While you two wasted an hour running around the block looking for Rose--as if she wasn't teleported into the fucking aether by a space asshole--I dusted off my time tables from the ol' sylladex. And guess the fuck what?"

"What?" they asked together.

"They don't work. Or at least, I don't work. I've lost my moxy."

John rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Now that you mention it, I can't really call on the Breeze. I've been trying all morning, and... well, all I get is this regular wind! Which I guess isn't 'cause of me at all. More like totally ordinary natural wind."

"And I can't call on my power, either," added Jade, pouting. "I've been trying this whole time!"

"Hey Jade," said John, rubbing his chin almost raw with his thoughtfulness. "I forget. What specific control over Space did you have again? Specifically?"

"Oh, well, it--"

Strider held up a hand. "Talking about your non-temporal and therefore lame aspect powers does pretty much nothing to help the situation. Let's cut to the chase. The best case scenario is, we're rusty. Worst case scenario, we've gone so long without tapping into our powers that we've been cut off altogether." The tight line of his mouth arced into a derisive sneer. "And those 'little monsters' who've suddenly popped out of the sphincter of Paradox Space seem to be in tip-top shape. Or, at least, the gilled hipster was--and he was, like, the weakest one or something. Who knows what god awful planet wrecking shits Vriska and Terezi are capable of laying?"

He barely avoided grimacing when Egbert began to giggle like a little girl. "Dave," he said with a mirthful shrug, "You worry too much in your old age. Where did the coolkid who didn't care about anything go?"

"He went to bed with your mom."

"Ew dude that's my Nanna!"

"John's right," said Jade. "We can't let ourselves get held back. Even if we're a little unpracticed, and even if the trolls aren't, I think... well, I think something will come up! Something that will help us!"

"Is this a legit prediction or are you just being optimistic?"

Jade smiled wide, as if her mouth was unable to contain its goofy teeth a moment longer. "Just optimistic! But still, that's how things usually worked out in the past, right?"

Sunlight glinted off of Dave's shades. "The past ain't your jurisdiction. Contrary to popular belief, miracles do not--"

The tinny sound of a record scratching sounded from his pocket. A ringtone. Jade cheerfully stuck her tongue out at Dave as he frowned, peering at the tiny battery icon in the upper right hand corner of the screen. It was red.

"I totally forgot to charge it after the show last night," he said plainly, before answering.

"Yo."

Jade and John stared, unable to read his expression as he listened to the voice on the other end. "Uhuh. Yeah. I dunno. I've been good, thanks. You? Yeah. Cool. Hey, is it weird that I can actually hear the stupid fucking three's and four's and shit in your voice but still understand you perfectly? Yeah. Hey, what's so funny?"

"1T'S JUST TH4T MY 34RS W3R3 BURN1NG," responded the voice in the phone, audible only to Dave. "H4V3 YOU B33N T4LK1NG 4BOUT M3, MR. STR1D3R?"

"Maybe. One sec." He pressed the phone against his chest and said to his friends, "It's Terezi. She said she's gonna help us."

Part four

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She ran through the tunnels of the hive, passing this portal and that, on her way to find someone, anyone, who could help her get Eridan out of the mess he'd gotten himself into. She couldn't fathom how he could have possibly gotten the girl here, or why he would have snatched her in the first place. She knew Eridan was reckless when it came to boorish attempts at romance, but this was beyond the pale. Should she tell Sollux? No, every time she brought up Eridan's name he flew into a manic rage. She shook her head in disgust at how many trolls he'd completely alienated with his antics. She almost felt bad for telling him to jump in a lake. Almost.

She slowed as she passed the warp to Gamzee's respiteblock. He might be the only one who could talk Eridan out of his insane shenanigans. She stepped gingerly on the rune-etched disk on the floor, and was enveloped in silver flames.

The room was a complete disaster. It was, as always, littered with bizarre objects and half empty bottles of brightly colored soda. Feferi, distracted, stepped off the transportalizer and directly onto a horn, producing a blast of ear splitting noise. Startled, she eyeballed the room's owner, who was levitating a couple feet off the ground in the lotus position, apparently undisturbed by the sound. Fef smoothed her skirt, and approached the floating figure.

"Gamzee, I )(ave a favor to ask."

His eyes remained closed, painted lips curled in a contented smile.

"Gamzee! )(ey, Wake up! Listen, I don't )(ave time for t)(is, Eridan is in some serious trouble, and I need you to )(elp me talk some sense into )(im. GAMZE------E!"

"OoOoOoOoOmMm….WhAt's Up?"

"Eridan is )(olding one of the Eart)( c)(ildren )(ostage in his little s)(ack! I guess )(e )(as a good reason not to listen to me, since I rejected )(im, but w)(atever )(e's doing can't be good."

"HaHaHaHa, WoOoOaAaAh, ChIlLaX, BrO, I'm SuRe ItLl WoRk ItSeLf Out. I'm DoInG ThE AsTrAl PlAnE RiGhT NoW, CaN YoU CoMe BaCk LaTeR?"

"No, I can't come back later. T)(is is serious! I know you're swimming in sopor rig)(t now, but I really need you to focus!"

"ArEn'T YoU PrEtTy MoThEr FuCkIn' GoOd At AlL KnOwInG WhAt'S uP aNd gOiNg To HaPpEn BeFoRe EvErYoNe ElSe? WhAt MoThErFuCkIn' MiRaClE CaN YoU SeE In YoUr CrYsTaL BaLl?"

"T)(at's just it, I can't sea anyt)(ing. Somet)(ing is blocking me from grasping t)(e w)(ole picture )(ere. I'm really worried."

"YoU? ThE PrInCeSs Of ThE MoThErFuCkIn SeA? DoNt Be. Go TaLk To KaNaYa, ShE's WaY hElLa BeTtEr ThAn Me At SeRiOuS ShIt LiKe ThAt. I cOuLdN't WaLk A MoThEr FuCkIn' StRaIgHt LiNe RiGhT NoW iF EqUiUs AlL dEmAnDeD iT, HaHaHaHaHa."

Feferi sighed, and decided she wasn't going to get Gamzee to come out of his trance for her or anyone else. She thanked him, and turned on her heel, carefully avoiding the noisemakers strewn about this time. She began to step on the transportalizer, but a furtive rustling of fabric disturbed her concentration. She looked up just in time to catch a red sneaker in her peripheral. Only two trolls wore red shoes, and only one was sneaky enough to eavesdrop and not announce herself. Things just got worse. She decided to heed Gamzee's advice, and transported up to the hub to find Kanaya's respiteblock, but Kanaya wasn't there. Panic began to set in. Who else could she trust?

She may not love Eridan, but she didn't want him hurt. She hadn't seen him for months. She worried he might have gone crazy out there all alone on the beach.

It was risky, but she thought Terezi might help her. Feferi knew she had some sort of weird connection to one of the other Earth children, and might be sympathetic to her cause. It had been ages since they had any contact, however, and Terezi might not care anymore. She hesitated, but decided she didn't have enough time to ponder. She hurried to Terezi's block, and saw with relief that she was in. She materialized in the middle of another of Terezi's mock trials. She noted wryly that the judge must be feeling particularly vindictive; dozens of brightly colored plush dragons swung from crude nooses all over the room. Terezi, mid rant, swiveled, pointing at her with an accusing finger meant for an offending toy. Her mouth was stained with red chalk dust. She looked horrifying. She slowly relaxed her posture, and grinned. That was a good sign.

"W3'RE 1N TH3 M1DDL3 OF 4 TR14L, PL34S3 T4K3 4 S34T."

Feferi exhaled, and smiled back.

Terezi waited a full minute, hands politely folded, before shouting, "TH3 B3NCH C4LLS F3F3R1 P31X3S TO TH3 ST4ND!"

Fef, startled, stumbled over to the overturned furniture serving as a "stand". Terezi gave her a copy of "Wherein the son of a divine creator is reincarnated by a virgin mother, grows up and begins preaching around the country, gathering twelve followers, one of whom will betray him in the end (and so on)" to swear on, and after crossing her heart and hoping to die, she quickly explained the situation. Terezi seemed amused, and willing to help, if only to confound Eridan.

"You know, I'm pretty sure Vriska over)(eard me talking to Gamzee." Fereri murmured, hesitantly.

"SO YOU'R3 S4Y1NG TH4T TH3R3 W4S 4 W1TN3SS?"

"Yea)(, and I'm not sure w)(at s)(e's going to do to )(im."

"SO 1T'S 4 HOST1L3 W1TN3SS?" She suddenly glared, peering around at all the hanging convicted felons. "ORD3R. ORD3R, 1 S4Y!" She slammed her gavel over and over until the assembled had calmed down.

Feferi laughed nervously, unsure of how to react to her friend's roleplaying. "Well, u)(... I t)(ink our course is clear! You need to come wit)( me back to )(is block and )(elp me calm )(im down before )(e )(urts someone!!!"

"C4LM H1M DOWN? HMM..." An evil glint reflected off of Terezi's sunglasses as a toothy grin spread across her face. "1'M NOT SO SUR3 H3 D3S3RV3S TO B3 C4LM3D DOWN." She folded her arms behind her back, and began to pace. "H3 H4S BROK3N TH3 T3RMS OF OUR COLL3CT1V3 4GR33M3NT BY M4K1NG CONT4CT W1TH TH3 HUM4NS, K1DN4PP3D ON3 OF TH3M, 4ND K3PT H3R H1DD3N 4W4Y FOR N3F4R1OUS PURPOS3S, TH3 N4TUR3 OF WH1CH W3 C4N ONLY B3G1N TO GU3SS..."

"Actually, s)(e wasn't really )(idden away t)(at well..."

Terezi rested an elbow in her right hand, and propped her chin up with the other, brows knit in thought. "R3G4RDL3SS, TH1S 1S 4 ST1NK1NG CR1M3 ON TOP OF 4 ST1NK1NG CR1M3, 4 TOW3R OF 3V1L FR4GR4NC3S TH4T N31TH3R D3L1GHT OR 1NTR1GU3 TH3 S3NS3S..."

"W)(at do you plan on doing?"

Terezi spun around, and slapped the business end of the gavel in her palm. "TH4T 1S, OF COURS3, UP TO TH3 HONOR4BL3 COURT. L4D13S 4ND G3NTL3M3N, 1N TH3 C4S3 OF 3R1D4N VS. TH3 TROLLS, HOW DO YOU F1ND TH3 D3F3ND4NT?"

She paused, grasping the gavel tightly, nodding solemnly as if hearing grim news long expected. Every so often, she'd mumble a barely audible concurrence, an "MHM, MHM, Y3S JUST 4S 1 SUSP3CT3D," and one "4H 1NT3R3ST1NG."

Feferi watched wide-eyed. She desperately hoped that what was about to happen was not about to happen. However, when one deals with Terezi Pyrope, one learns to expect the worst.

As if on cue, Terezi laughed triumphantly, tossing the gavel aside and retrieving her weaponized cane from her sylladex. "GOOD N3WS, F3F3R1! THE COURT UN4N1MOUSLY AGR33S TH4T 3RID4N MUST B3 PUN1SH3D FOR H1S CR1M3S!"

"P-puni)(ed? )(ow?"

"HOW DO YOU TH1NK?" The blind girl cackled and ran erratically into the transportalizer, disappearing with nothing but a cyan bolt shaped afterimage hanging in the air to mark her passage.

Ferfi stamped her foot in frustration. Just when she thought her friends might settle things without tragic violence... "Terezi! NOOOO! WAIT!"

Part five

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"Wwell this is a right an' proper fuckin' mess," said Eridan to Gamzee, who was standing in his respiteblock, face smeared with paint and green sopor jelly. "That prissy little wwitch is runnin' all ovver the god damn place tellin' evveryone about my brilliant fuckin' schemes..."

"HaHa, YeAh MaN, sHe Is So FuCkInG hElPfUl AnD sHiT!"

"Wwhy the hell did she get you to talk to me, anywway? There are wway better trolls than you at handlin' serious shit like this."

"UhHhHh... HaHa, Y'kNoW, I uP aNd FuCkIn' FoRgOt!"

A cultured voice boomed from the corner, seething with barely bridled rage. "D--> Allow me. I was visiting Gamzee in his respite block for... my own reasons... not long after his discussion with the Empress. He e%plained the entire situation to me, with little hesitation or loyalty. It was then I who command--I mean, politely suggested--that we inform you immediately of the machinations of your social peer."

"YeAh, SuRe! ThEn He AlL gOt mAd At Me AnD aLl WhEn I cOuLdN't WaLk In A sTrAiGhT mOtHeR fUcKiNg LiNe AhAhAhA!"

Equius delicately slid his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose with a forefinger. "D--> It was e%tremely frustrating. He should show more restraint when serving those of higher station than he." He bowed. "D--> I hope you will inc100de me in your plans to humble these 100d and disobedient malefactors."

"Yeah! That's fuckin' awwesome! Wwhat about you, Gam?"

"I'm JuSt TrYiN tO hElP mY fRiEnDs OuT!"

Rose watched from her prison, lazily knitting a scarf. After assuring him she wouldn't flee, her kidnapper had loosened her hand restraints and bound her feet instead. "Congratulations, Eridan. Two incompetent goons just joined your party."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME! Anywway, listen up, you incompetent goons! As your neww wwizardly ovverlord, your job is to protect me from Fef and wwhoever else she's bringin' here wwith your livves! Eq, stop swweatin on my fuckin carpet, for the lovve of Troll Jegus!"

"D--> Yes, sir!"

Eridan sneered in disgust. "Eugh. Uh... so yeah, you twwo go wwait outside, and I'll sit in here, safe and protected by my swweet neww goons. I'm puttin up a fuckin' forcefield made out of pure unadulterated HOPE. That should givve me enough time to wweave another transportation spell and abscond wwith this snarky loudmouthed piece of human trash."

"Thanks, Eridan, I love you, too."

Eridan spun to face Rose, his cheeks tinged a deep purple. "WW-WWHAT? REALLY?"

"No."

His hopeful expression soured, and he shook an angry fist at her.

Gamzee leaned in to Equius and loudly whispered, "YoOoO, EqUiUs BrO, wHy Is ThAt HuMaN aLl HeRe WiTh HeR wIcKeD aSs MoThEr FuCkInG sCaRf AnYwAy?"

"D--> I can only assume she is a pawn in an incomprehensibly comple% game of chess between your fellow violet bloods. Isn't it e%citing, Gamzee? Being in the middle of such a titanic clash of intellects, mere t00ls in the hands of the highest echelon of our e%tinct society? Being so masterfully handled by a brilliant tactician, f00led around with like objects of little value, vigorously stroked into action by--"

"EQ YOU'RE MAKIN' A FUCKIN' PUDDLE AROUND YOUR GROSSLY MUSCULAR LEGS! GET OUT OF MY BLOCK AND GET READY TO KICK SOME FUCKIN' WWASTE CHUTES!"

Part six

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Feferi transportalized to the thin strand of beach which Equius had designated "headquarters" for team Eridan. Towering black stones, slick with years of polishing, jutted out of the surrounding water, acting as a treacherous barrier against any human ships which might sail too close. Waves crashed against them and caused rainbows to materialize in the constant and violent spray. Terezi was rushing through one such rainbow as the Empress vainly called out her name, but her voice was lost in the deafening roar of the sea.

It was then that the top of one of the rock formations exploded. Huge chunks rained down on the sand, and the Seer of Mind barely dodged the craggy shrapnel.

Equius Zahhak stood proudly on top of the ruined rock, arms crossed, hair whipping in the wind. His frown made Feferi shiver. Was he in league with her ex-moirail? She wanted to throttle Eridan for joining forces with such a dangerous and arrogant troll. She rushed to catch up with her companion.

"... ordered us to defend him with our lives. You will not pass as long as my... my superior and I stand guard." His teeth clenched around the the word "superior."

"GR34T. YOU D1DN'T S4Y 4NYTH1NG 4BOUT F1GHT1NG TH1S J4CK4SS, F3F3R1."

"I didn't know Eridan )(ad sunk so low! UGH W)(AT IS WRONG WITH )(IM!"

"K33P YOUR S1GHT B4LLS P33L3D FOR 4NOTH3R ON3. H3 S41D H3 H4D 4 SUP3R1OR..."

"D--> Indeed. Together you may have stood a chance against me, but you are no match for the combined might of the Heir of Void and Bard of... of... where is he anyway?"

All six eyes turned at once to Gamzee, who was sitting on the rubble, staring dumbly at the colors reflected in the droplets of sea spray.

"WoOoOoOoAaAaAhHhH! DoUbLe MoThEr FuCkInG rAinBoW! AcRoSs ThE sKy!"

All three simultaneously shouted his name.

"GAMZE--------E!" Glubbed Feferi. "You tell ME you aren't getting involved, t)(en you JOIN FORCES WIT)( T)(EM??? I TRUSTED YOU!!!"

His cheerful smile sagged. "AwWwW... I'm FuCkIn SorRy..."

"D--> As much as I would enjoy watching you be dutifully admonished by a superior, Gamzee, I am more eager to punish the disobedient Seer of Mind. You will engage the Empress in battle. Let us end this swiftly."

"HaHaHaHa, WhAt? I'm NoT fEeLiNg AlL uP tO fIgHtInG oR nOtHiNg RiGhT nOw..."

"D--> I anticipated this. Gamzee? Do you recall the human musical group that so heinously parodies your beloved gods? The so called 'Insanity Clown Possum'?'"

"ArRrRgH, tHoSe... mOtHeRfUcKeRs!"

"D--> Quite. Did you know that Feferi not only actively encourages their heresy, but has purchased several of the primitive Earth compressed discs which contain a vast catalogue of their music?"

Gamzee jumped to his feet, two solid clubs already in hand, eyes burning with fiery hatred. "FfFfFfFfFfFfFuUuUuUuUuUuUcK!"

Feferi lifted her Brain-Trident just as the Bard of Clearly Crazy launched his juggling clubs at her, deflecting them with a discordant THWACK heard above the sound of the ocean. Equius had already somersaulted off the stone and engaged Terezi, a torrent of sand erupting around the spot where his fist connected with the ground next to her.

The usually mirthful clown-worshipping troll wielded his clubs with surprising deftness, keeping up with Feferi's trident, always angling her away from the sea. She silently cursed, knowing that if she could drag him into the water, she would have the advantage. She always felt more clumsy on land, and the ferocious and uncharacteristic onslaught of her friend nearly had her outmatched.

Meanwhile, Terezi continuously dodged Equius' wild swings, knowing full well that her cane would shatter against even a glancing blow. She jumped to scale the tall sea boulders, using her natural agility to hop from rock to rock, easily retaining her footing on their slippery surfaces. Equius was with her every moment, roaring in anger, his broken fangs bared, but he struggled to keep up as stone crumbled beneath his fists.

He was surprised at her skill in pulling off such Flashy acrobatics. One false move here and she would be lost in the raging sea below. She was like a Hellcat, or a devil, with all her daring. Like some kind of Daredevil. He couldn't help but Marvel at her courage. Despite her lesser blood, she was truly an opponent worthy of his ability. Comic books.

He stopped to catch his breath on a relatively safe outcropping of stone. Terezi, too, perched a distance away from him, watching him warily and grinning from ear to ear. "D--> Enough of this f00lishness," he said, suddenly flexing his muscles. "D--> I will show you the power of my Role. Did you know what I inherited, as the Heir of Void, filthy green-b100d?"

"VO1D?"

"D--> ... say something else. An insincere comment, like I was expecting."

"UH... OK4Y. DUHHH, G33, I DUNNO MR. Z4HH4K, S1R, M4YB3 YOU 1NH3R1T3D 4 ST1NKY BUTT F4CE???"

"D--> Wrong again, as e%pected of a slime-b100ded urchin. You will now e%perience first hand the true power that I inherited... the power of Void!" Equius shot forward with his arm extended. But instead of a fist, his fingers curled around what seemed to be an empty black hole nested in the palm of his hand. Terezi jumped as he plunged towards her rock, slapping him playfully with her cane as she leap-frogged over him.

His hand slammed into the boulder, which the black hole immediately consumed. Equius turned to face Terezi, standing in the massive, perfectly circular hole he made in the rock. The thick black Void throbbed eagerly in his hand. "D--> Do you see now, how hopeless this fight is?"

"1 C4N'T S33 SH1T, DUMP4SS! H3H3H3."

Equius growled, and once more jumped at Terezi palm-first. But before he could clear half the distance, a colorful form burst from the sea below and struck Equius soundly in the face with the haft of a brain-themed trident. The Heir of Void's head snapped back, blue blood spraying from his nose and broken pieces of fang scattering in the air. He collapsed back in the hole he had made with a groan. His body went limp as he lost consciousness.

"H3Y, 1 W4S JUST 4BOUT TO B34T H1M UP!"

")(e)(e, sorry!" Feferi landed back in the water with a splash, but her head quickly popped above the surface, grinning. "Gamzee forgot w)(y )(e was fig)(ting me after about a minute, and got distracted by t)(e rainbows again. T)(ese guys won't be a t)(reat anymore. Let's go get Eridan!"

The two rushed headlong towards the shack, leaving the two goons behind. Feferi felt a pit in her stomach. She could only hope that they weren't too late. Although she didn't agree with Terezi's methods, she understood now that he was beyond dissuasion. "Punishment" may, in fact, be necessary.

They were suddenly flung back several feet, just outside the entrance of the shack. A golden light shimmered in the air, surrounding the building like a canary cage.

"WH4T TH3 FUCK," said Terezi as she rubbed her head. "H3 C4N M4K3 SOM3 K1ND OF FORC3 F1ELD? 1 D1DN'T KNOW TH4T."

Feferi approached the field and poked it. Her finger met instant resistance, and an electric shock forced her to draw back. "T)(at's part of )(is Role's power. )(ope."

"WH4T DO3S HOP3 H4V3 TO DO W1TH 4NYTH1NG?"

"Well, )(e never really explained it to me very well, but... from w)(at I understand, Eridan )(as the ability to make almost any )(ope a reality as long as )(e wis)(es for it really, really )(ard."

"TH3N WHY C4N'T H3 G3T A D4T3? H3H3 Z1NG!"

")(e)(e! O)(, but it's not as strong as you t)(ink. It requires a lot of concentration, more t)(an )(e is usually capable of! And it can't do EVERYT)(ING. To be )(onest, I always t)(oug)(t its effects were pretty arbitrary."

"1T 1S STR4NG3 TH4T 3R1D4N 1S 4BL3 TO SUMMON TH1S K1ND OF POW3R. 1 M4Y H4V3 UND3R3ST1M4T3D H1M 4LL TH1S T1M3."

Feferi didn't respond, but Terezi was only half right. Eridan had somehow become stronger than he had ever been before, and in a relatively brief time. He should not have been capable of something like this.

"H3Y F1SHGUTS!" called Terezi, shaking her cane in defiance at the force field. "G3T YOUR STUP1D G1LL3D F4C3 OUT H3R3 SO 1 C4N H4NG YOU!" She turned to Feferi and whispered, "NO OFF3NSE. 1 TH1NK YOUR G1LLS 4R3 PR3TTY, 4CTU4LLY."

Feferi giggled and blushed.

No sound came from the shack at all. They waited for a couple of minutes, and Terezi called out again.

"3R1D4N. 1 KNOW YOU C4N H34R M3. W3'LL F1GUR3 OUT HOW TO G3T 1N TH3R3 3V3NTU4LLY. OP3N UP!"

Still no sound. They looked at each other, defeated.

"Well, gos)(, Terezi, I t)(ink we're going to )(ave to wait )(im out. )(e isn't strong enough)( to keep t)(is up forever."

"I KNOW I PROM1S3D TO H3LP, BUT 1 C4N'T S1T H3R3 4LL N1GHT. TH3R3'S JUST1C3 TO M3T3 OUT!"

Feferi sighed heavily, accepting the inevitable. "You're rig)(t, I can't in good conscience ask you to wait for t)(is idiot. I guess )(e deserves w)(atever punis)(ment is coming! T)(ank you for…"

As she was speaking, the electrified air sputtered, and the shimmer disappeared, leaving the path to the shack open.

The pair looked at each other, and then immediately back at the shack as an explosion rocked the timbers, blowing pieces of wood everywhere. A gigantic hole remained in the side of the house.

"WH4T IN J3GUS N4M3 W4S TH4T?"

They scrambled to a standing position and ran to the door, which was blocked. They only had one other option. They moved towards the ruined wall of the building, coughing, eyes watering from the smoke, gingerly picking their way forward into Eridan's room. The carpet and wood floor was scorched from the mini fireball that had ripped through the house. Miraculously, the rest of the room was left intact. The door to the living room was wide open, and Eridan stood with his back to them, holding Rose's arms at her sides.

"Are you fuckin' insane, you crazy wwitch? Wwhat did you do? You don't evven havve your wwand!"

"Let me go, Eridan. I have no qualms destroying you right now. I'm sure you can see I'm capable of it."

"----ERIDAN!!! W)(at in t)(e world are you doing? you've lost your mind! You )(ave to let t)(e Eart)( girl go!"

At the sound of his name, Eridan spun, and looked at Feferi and Terezi, his eyes unfocused and wild in a state of incoherent panic.

"Leavve me the FUCK ALONE! DO NOT TELL ME WWHAT I HAVVE TO DO! I WWILL HAVVE THIS GIRL'S POWWERS! I'M FUCKIN' OUTTA HERE!!!!"

The air around them grew uncomfortably warm. Eridan appeared to be glowing, haloed in a strange purple light. The light grew, surrounding him, Rose, and the chair Rose was tied to. It got brighter and brighter, bathing the room with blinding radiation. In seconds, the light, the chair, Rose, and Eridan were gone, popped out of existence with no evidence that they had been there at all. Feferi and Terezi turned to one another, mouths agape. What was going on here? They walked slowly through the house, looking for any evidence to try and discover what Eridan had been up to for the past 6 months, closeted here, alone. They made their way back to his room, finding nothing but ironic clothing and magazines with glossy pictures of buckets. They dropped those back onto the floor with disgust. Feferi moved his desk, and jiggled the mouse. The screen came back to life, displaying Trollian full screen. One line of text appeared in the window.

AG: You fucking moron. Can you not do annnnnnnnything right?

Terezi grinned suddenly. "H3Y F3F, I THINK W3 N33D TO C4LL SOM3 H3LP IN ON TH1S ON3."

"Well, I agree, but w)(o? Everyone around )(ere is too stupid or too full of t)(emselves to )(elp."

"I'M NOT T4LK1NG 4BOUT TROLLS."

"T)(e… kids?"

"TH4T'S R1GHT. 3V3RYON3 D3S3RV3S TH31R D4Y IN COURT, 4ND CL34RLY, 4 L4W OR TWO H4S B33N BROK3N H3R3."

Terezi pulled a phone out of her pocket, and began dialing, mumbling about the smell of cherries.

[Wigmund]

Nice fic UrbanGrifter, I hope you keep posting future chapters here.

[Katrika]

The fic I'm working on now is set a few centuries from this.