MSPA Fanfiction IV

[Embargo]

Man, you guys are amazing! You all pass the talent for writing. All of you.

Now im going to write moar abouts eridan. Brb.

[morpheoMancer]

Mayor, I challenge you to write something that will instantly shatter my heart into 10^(10^100) pieces.

Go ahead. I dare you.

[DJ-P0N3]

Mayor, I challenge you to write something that will instantly shatter my heart into 10^(10^100) pieces.

Go ahead. I dare you.

Its very tempting.
Whats in it for me?

[deceitfulDarj]

Mayor, I challenge you to write something that will instantly shatter my heart into 10^(10^100) pieces.

Go ahead. I dare you.

Its very tempting.
Whats in it for me?

((The shattered pieces, I would presume?))

[Wigmund]

Now for something incredibly stupid.

Fruity Rumpus Past-hole Future-y

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Oh god, Karkat Vantas thought to himself as he opened up his Trollian client, it can't be time to respond to this fucking memo. He wished he had never opened the damn thing. But he was an raging asshole back then, he still is.
"Jegus fuck, not now..."
"What is it Karkat?"
Karkat jerked in surprise and looked at the girl who plopped herself down next to him and started to look over his shoulder at what he was doing on his computer. Karkat tried to hide the screen with his hands.
"Oh, uh, it's nothing. Nothing at all."

Jade narrowed her green eyes at him, prompting the troll to blush.
"It looks a prompt to open a memo. A memo that I remember..."
Karkat glanced around, but it was just him and Jade at the top of her tower on LOFAF.
"I have no idea what you're talking about Jade."
"Yes you do, this is the memo when you come to my rescue against your past self."
She leaned her head on his shoulder and forced him to open the memo.
"Oops"
"Dammit Jade, now I'm gonna have to deal with myself when I was convinced about all that past/present/future bullshit."
"Oh look, he's attacking me. Be my knight in shining armor. I'm going to need one."

Karkat glanced at the memo. Oh fuck, there he went on his god spiel again. Why did he insist on doing that with the humans?

--Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory Memo--

CCG: PERSONALLY I THINK THAT WARRANTS A LITTLE GRATITUDE, AND JUST MAYBE, A BIT OF DEFERENCE.
CCG: A CURTSY, PERHAPS?
CCG: BUT YEAH GO AHEAD AND KEEP BLOWING ME OFF LIKE THE FLAKEY LITTLE TWERP YOU ARE.
FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 3 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCG: HEY DON'T TALK TO HER LIKE THAT YOU UNCOUTH PIECE OF SHIT.
FCG: THIS IS REFLECTING POORLY ON BOTH OF US, IT'S GODDAMNED EMBARRASSING.

--------------------

Karkat glanced at Jade, she was giggling as he responded to himself and his past response.
"You're so silly when you get riled up."
Karkat grimaced as he responded to the memo again and then saw past Jade's response of 'aaauugh what the hell!!!'. Jade started laughing when she saw that. That prompted Karkat to apologize to past Jade for some reason, god what the fuck was he doing this for?

Jade wiped the tears from her eyes and watched Karkat argue with himself as the troll she was sitting next to tried to defend her from his past self.

She gasped when he slapped himself. He rubbed his cheek where he did that.
"Wow, that did sting..."
Karkat then went back to the memo.

--Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory Memo--

FCG: IT STINGS TOO, YOU'LL FEEL IT IN A WHILE. AND THEN THE GHOST OF PAST ME WILL CRY.
FCG: PAST ME DOESN'T EVEN EXIST ANYMORE. HE'S A STUPID BAWLING WIGGLER PHANTOM. HE'S DEAD, NOT A REAL GUY ANYMORE, LIKE ME.
FCG: I'M THE REAL ONE. YOU'RE FAKE, A SHADOW OF A SAD MEMORY THAT PISSED ITS PANTS WHILE SCREAMING.
FCG: TIME TO DEAL WITH IT.

--------------------

Jade gasped when he typed that.
"You're not referring to the slap when you say 'it stings'. Your talking about when you...when you were..."
"Killed in the failed session? Yeah, but my past self shouldn't know what's literally coming. I took it as some bullshit I was telling myself."

Karkat looked down at his stomach and rubbed it. He could still remember feeling the killing blow that sent him into the afterlife. He remembered screaming in pain and involuntarily pissing himself while rolling around. It was embarrassing.

Apparently the reflection upon the past showed up on his face, because he was interrupted from his thoughts when Jade rapped her arms around him and quietly sobbed. She didn't watch him die, but he sent her a message when it was his time. From what John and Dave said, she was inconsolable until they got the rift opened and dragged everyone out of the afterlife into the kids session.

"It's alright Jade, I'm here. I'm alive thanks to you."
"I...I know...it's just I can't stand the thought of the pain you had to go through to get here."
"It was a small price to pay for all of this."

He focused back on the memo as past Jade went into her rant against PCG and FCG.
"Oh god, I remember how much you two pissed me off here.
God-damned fuckass."
She watched the troll type away.
"Well, that's true - I did need to hit you up."
"In more way than one"
"What was that?"
"NOTHING! I didn't say anything."

There was a soft bamf behind the two, Jade turned around and waved their new guest over. Karkat glared at Dave as he sat on the other side of Karkat.
"Is this what I think it is Mr. Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory?"
Dave looked at the screen and opened up his iShades.
"Oh fuck it is! This is gonna be fun."
"Fuck off Dave! You...ah fuck you responded to the memo."
Past Karkat banned Dave. Dave smiled and took out his turntables and disappeared in the time stream, Karkat frowned and re-banned the asshole from whatever time he decided to try to re-enter the memo from.

"Aww, that was rude Karkat."
"Dave needs to learn to mind his own business, the smug fucker. Besides, shouldn't he be making out with Terezi right now?"
"He probably is, time powers and all that."
Karkat grimaced as he imagined that going on.
"Well, I'm your knight now. hmmmm?"
Jade papped him upside the head, he rubbed his ear and focused back on the memo.
"Is that offer to kiss your ass still up?"
PAP
"Okay, that answers that."

Jade and Karkat went back to reading her past response to the memo. He was startled when she suddenly flipped off the computer screen.
"I was wondering when I would remember to do this."
Karkat laughed and tore into his past self. Jade giggled as Karkat argued with himself.
"Am I really a 'CIVILIZED, MATURE, GROWN ASSED ADULT' now?"
Karkat blushed yet again and shrugged. Jade laughed at his reaction and she kept laughing as her past self got tired of the two assholes fighting with each other and left the memo.

She stopped when she could still hear Karkat typing away at the computer, looking at her fearfully.
"What's going on now? What are you typing?"
She looked at his screen, knocking his hand out of the way.

--Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory Memo--

CCG: I THINK
CCG: I WAS PROBABLY WRONG ABOUT JADE
CCG: SHE'S A LITTLE LESS LAME THAN I THOUGHT
FCG: SHHHHSHHSHSHSHSH
FCG: SHE CAN STILL READ THIS YOU STUPID FUCK
FCG: NOW'S NOT THE TIME TO OPEN YOUR VEINS AND WRITE POEMS ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS
CCG: FUCK YOU, I'M JUST VOICING A HARMLESS OBSERVATION OK
CCG: IT'S NOT MY BUSINESS IF SOME LUNK HEAD IN THE FUTURE GETS CARRIED AWAY WITH WHATEVER LITTLE THOUGHTS I MAY OR MAY NOT NOW BE THINKING

--------------------

Jade gasped as she read that bit.
"You do like me."
He finished typing in the memo and closed the computer.
"I...I, uh, yeah..."
She leaned in close, he could feel her breath on his cheek. It was warm and he could smell the flowers she had been playing in earlier once her world warmed up and they started to bloom.
"Yeah what?"
Her hand creeped around Karkat's shoulder and pulled in closer to her.
"Yeah, I, um, oh fuck, I..."
He could glance out of the corner of his eye to see her face was right there.

Fuck boy, just turn to face her. Man up, show some bulge.

He gulped as she started to rub his hair. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling. Oh gog that felt good. But, he just...
"Come on Karkat, it can't be that hard to sp-"
He interrupted her when he turned to face her and ended up kissing her on the lips. They just sat there for a moment, he opened his eyes and looked into hers.

She was surprised and apparently hadn't planned beyond teasing him. So he tried to take the lead by wrapping his arms around her and sweeping her-
")(-E)(-E)(-E)(-E!!! About glubbing time Krabcakes!"
"About tiime thhiithead."
Karkat's eyes widened in terror.
"Wh4t 1s th1s? 1s our br4v3 l34d3r 3ng4g1ng 1n som3 r3volt1ng troll/hum4n sloppy m4k3outs?"
"uMM, iT LOOKS LIKE HE IS."
Oh gog, who else was over there.
"Not faaaaaaaair!!!!!!!! I w8nted to eng8ge in some hum8n rom8nce."
"You can just back off Vriska, John's heart is my property."
"I don't w8nt his heaaaaaaaart! I w8nt something else."
"All mine."
"What About My Own Vascular Organ Rose?"
"That as well."
"Fuck you! You can't do th8t!"
"I've got all the hearts, all of them."
Karkat and Jade just looked into each other's eyes.
Their eyebrows raised in terror as they realized there was quite a crowd gathered nearby.
":,(( < Aww, I wanted to get the Karkitty.
>:33 < But right now I need to update the walls."
"D--> This is e%tremely decadent.
D--> I cannot believe I am watching this f001ish debauchery!
D--> I...I need a towel."
"Indeed y0u d0 Equius."
Oh fuck oh fuckohfuck...
"JuSt MoRe FuCkInG mIrAcLeS aLl ThE mOtHeRfUcKiNg TiMe HeRe."
"I told you about the makeouts Karkat."
"Is it about time you two stopped to take a breath?"
The two kissers could hear everyone laugh.

Karkat broke away from the kiss and turned to face the crowd.
"HOW FUCKING LONG HAVE YOU ALL BEEN THERE?"
"Aradia and I brought everyone here about the same time you two started to suck face."
"YOU GOGDAMNED NOOKSNIFFING ASSHOLE I SHOU-"
"Shut up Karkat, we were busy with something else."
She grabbed his head and brought him back to face her and locked lips with him again.



Elsewhere....
"The survvivvors should just be dowwn this hallwway Master Noir!"
Eridan led the black figure down the cold, lonely hallways of the asteroid. It was quiet except for the clicking of their feet on the metal floor tiles. Where the fuck was everyone.
"I left their so-called leader and the fucking meddlin bitch that was tryin to plant that Matriorb alivve so you could claim them for yourself."

They stepped onto the teleportalizer that led into the main lab.

They appeared in the room and Eridan's jaw dropped as he saw the bloody carnage left there. Not just the carnage from when he killed Fef and battered that fucking low-blooded piece of shit, but...oh god no.

He gazed in horror at the ten other bodies splayed out across the room. Eridan turned around to look up at his Master who was reaching for the sword in his chest.
"No! Please Master, they-"

One more body fell to the ground in the lab.

A/N:

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I inspired myself while digging through older Homestuck memos and pesterlogs looking for clues as to what will happen in the future. Then I re-read the memo where CCG and FCG antagonize each other and piss Jade off. I came up with a theory and now this fic.

And this was incredibly silly and stupid and oh fuck what did I post this?

[morpheoMancer]

Now for something incredibly stupid.

Fruity Rumpus Past-hole Future-y

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Oh god, Karkat Vantas thought to himself as he opened up his Trollian client, it can't be time to respond to this fucking memo. He wished he had never opened the damn thing. But he was an raging asshole back then, he still is.
"Jegus fuck, not now..."
"What is it Karkat?"
Karkat jerked in surprise and looked at the girl who plopped herself down next to him and started to look over his shoulder at what he was doing on his computer. Karkat tried to hide the screen with his hands.
"Oh, uh, it's nothing. Nothing at all."

Jade narrowed her green eyes at him, prompting the troll to blush.
"It looks a prompt to open a memo. A memo that I remember..."
Karkat glanced around, but it was just him and Jade at the top of her tower on LOFAF.
"I have no idea what you're talking about Jade."
"Yes you do, this is the memo when you come to my rescue against your past self."
She leaned her head on his shoulder and forced him to open the memo.
"Oops"
"Dammit Jade, now I'm gonna have to deal with myself when I was convinced about all that past/present/future bullshit."
"Oh look, he's attacking me. Be my knight in shining armor. I'm going to need one."

Karkat glanced at the memo. Oh fuck, there he went on his god spiel again. Why did he insist on doing that with the humans?

--Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory Memo--

CCG: PERSONALLY I THINK THAT WARRANTS A LITTLE GRATITUDE, AND JUST MAYBE, A BIT OF DEFERENCE.
CCG: A CURTSY, PERHAPS?
CCG: BUT YEAH GO AHEAD AND KEEP BLOWING ME OFF LIKE THE FLAKEY LITTLE TWERP YOU ARE.
FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 3 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCG: HEY DON'T TALK TO HER LIKE THAT YOU UNCOUTH PIECE OF SHIT.
FCG: THIS IS REFLECTING POORLY ON BOTH OF US, IT'S GODDAMNED EMBARRASSING.

--------------------

Karkat glanced at Jade, she was giggling as he responded to himself and his past response.
"You're so silly when you get riled up."
Karkat grimaced as he responded to the memo again and then saw past Jade's response of 'aaauugh what the hell!!!'. Jade started laughing when she saw that. That prompted Karkat to apologize to past Jade for some reason, god what the fuck was he doing this for?

Jade wiped the tears from her eyes and watched Karkat argue with himself as the troll she was sitting next to tried to defend her from his past self.

She gasped when he slapped himself. He rubbed his cheek where he did that.
"Wow, that did sting..."
Karkat then went back to the memo.

--Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory Memo--

FCG: IT STINGS TOO, YOU'LL FEEL IT IN A WHILE. AND THEN THE GHOST OF PAST ME WILL CRY.
FCG: PAST ME DOESN'T EVEN EXIST ANYMORE. HE'S A STUPID BAWLING WIGGLER PHANTOM. HE'S DEAD, NOT A REAL GUY ANYMORE, LIKE ME.
FCG: I'M THE REAL ONE. YOU'RE FAKE, A SHADOW OF A SAD MEMORY THAT PISSED ITS PANTS WHILE SCREAMING.
FCG: TIME TO DEAL WITH IT.

--------------------

Jade gasped when he typed that.
"You're not referring to the slap when you say 'it stings'. Your talking about when you...when you were..."
"Killed in the failed session? Yeah, but my past self shouldn't know what's literally coming. I took it as some bullshit I was telling myself."

Karkat looked down at his stomach and rubbed it. He could still remember feeling the killing blow that sent him into the afterlife. He remembered screaming in pain and involuntarily pissing himself while rolling around. It was embarrassing.

Apparently the reflection upon the past showed up on his face, because he was interrupted from his thoughts when Jade rapped her arms around him and quietly sobbed. She didn't watch him die, but he sent her a message when it was his time. From what John and Dave said, she was inconsolable until they got the rift opened and dragged everyone out of the afterlife into the kids session.

"It's alright Jade, I'm here. I'm alive thanks to you."
"I...I know...it's just I can't stand the thought of the pain you had to go through to get here."
"It was a small price to pay for all of this."

He focused back on the memo as past Jade went into her rant against PCG and FCG.
"Oh god, I remember how much you two pissed me off here.
God-damned fuckass."
She watched the troll type away.
"Well, that's true - I did need to hit you up."
"In more way than one"
"What was that?"
"NOTHING! I didn't say anything."

There was a soft bamf behind the two, Jade turned around and waved their new guest over. Karkat glared at Dave as he sat on the other side of Karkat.
"Is this what I think it is Mr. Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory?"
Dave looked at the screen and opened up his iShades.
"Oh fuck it is! This is gonna be fun."
"Fuck off Dave! You...ah fuck you responded to the memo."
Past Karkat banned Dave. Dave smiled and took out his turntables and disappeared in the time stream, Karkat frowned and re-banned the asshole from whatever time he decided to try to re-enter the memo from.

"Aww, that was rude Karkat."
"Dave needs to learn to mind his own business, the smug fucker. Besides, shouldn't he be making out with Terezi right now?"
"He probably is, time powers and all that."
Karkat grimaced as he imagined that going on.
"Well, I'm your knight now. hmmmm?"
Jade papped him upside the head, he rubbed his ear and focused back on the memo.
"Is that offer to kiss your ass still up?"
PAP
"Okay, that answers that."

Jade and Karkat went back to reading her past response to the memo. He was startled when she suddenly flipped off the computer screen.
"I was wondering when I would remember to do this."
Karkat laughed and tore into his past self. Jade giggled as Karkat argued with himself.
"Am I really a 'CIVILIZED, MATURE, GROWN ASSED ADULT' now?"
Karkat blushed yet again and shrugged. Jade laughed at his reaction and she kept laughing as her past self got tired of the two assholes fighting with each other and left the memo.

She stopped when she could still hear Karkat typing away at the computer, looking at her fearfully.
"What's going on now? What are you typing?"
She looked at his screen, knocking his hand out of the way.

--Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory Memo--

CCG: I THINK
CCG: I WAS PROBABLY WRONG ABOUT JADE
CCG: SHE'S A LITTLE LESS LAME THAN I THOUGHT
FCG: SHHHHSHHSHSHSHSH
FCG: SHE CAN STILL READ THIS YOU STUPID FUCK
FCG: NOW'S NOT THE TIME TO OPEN YOUR VEINS AND WRITE POEMS ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS
CCG: FUCK YOU, I'M JUST VOICING A HARMLESS OBSERVATION OK
CCG: IT'S NOT MY BUSINESS IF SOME LUNK HEAD IN THE FUTURE GETS CARRIED AWAY WITH WHATEVER LITTLE THOUGHTS I MAY OR MAY NOT NOW BE THINKING

--------------------

Jade gasped as she read that bit.
"You do like me."
He finished typing in the memo and closed the computer.
"I...I, uh, yeah..."
She leaned in close, he could feel her breath on his cheek. It was warm and he could smell the flowers she had been playing in earlier once her world warmed up and they started to bloom.
"Yeah what?"
Her hand creeped around Karkat's shoulder and pulled in closer to her.
"Yeah, I, um, oh fuck, I..."
He could glance out of the corner of his eye to see her face was right there.

Fuck boy, just turn to face her. Man up, show some bulge.

He gulped as she started to rub his hair. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling. Oh gog that felt good. But, he just...
"Come on Karkat, it can't be that hard to sp-"
He interrupted her when he turned to face her and ended up kissing her on the lips. They just sat there for a moment, he opened his eyes and looked into hers.

She was surprised and apparently hadn't planned beyond teasing him. So he tried to take the lead by wrapping his arms around her and sweeping her-
")(-E)(-E)(-E)(-E!!! About glubbing time Krabcakes!"
"About tiime thhiithead."
Karkat's eyes widened in terror.
"Wh4t 1s th1s? 1s our br4v3 l34d3r 3ng4g1ng 1n som3 r3volt1ng troll/hum4n sloppy m4k3outs?"
"uMM, iT LOOKS LIKE HE IS."
Oh gog, who else was over there.
"Not faaaaaaaair!!!!!!!! I w8nted to eng8ge in some hum8n rom8nce."
"You can just back off Vriska, John's heart is my property."
"I don't w8nt his heaaaaaaaart! I w8nt something else."
"All mine."
"What About My Own Vascular Organ Rose?"
"That as well."
"Fuck you! You can't do th8t!"
"I've got all the hearts, all of them."
Karkat and Jade just looked into each other's eyes.
Their eyebrows raised in terror as they realized there was quite a crowd gathered nearby.
":,(( < Aww, I wanted to get the Karkitty.
>:33 < But right now I need to update the walls."
"D--> This is e%tremely decadent.
D--> I cannot believe I am watching this f001ish debauchery!
D--> I...I need a towel."
"Indeed y0u d0 Equius."
Oh fuck oh fuckohfuck...
"JuSt MoRe FuCkInG mIrAcLeS aLl ThE mOtHeRfUcKiNg TiMe HeRe."
"I told you about the makeouts Karkat."
"Is it about time you two stopped to take a breath?"
The two kissers could hear everyone laugh.

Karkat broke away from the kiss and turned to face the crowd.
"HOW FUCKING LONG HAVE YOU ALL BEEN THERE?"
"Aradia and I brought everyone here about the same time you two started to suck face."
"YOU GOGDAMNED NOOKSNIFFING ASSHOLE I SHOU-"
"Shut up Karkat, we were busy with something else."
She grabbed his head and brought him back to face her and locked lips with him again.



Elsewhere....
"The survvivvors should just be dowwn this hallwway Master Noir!"
Eridan led the black figure down the cold, lonely hallways of the asteroid. It was quiet except for the clicking of their feet on the metal floor tiles. Where the fuck was everyone.
"I left their so-called leader and the fucking meddlin bitch that was tryin to plant that Matriorb alivve so you could claim them for yourself."

They stepped onto the teleportalizer that led into the main lab.

They appeared in the room and Eridan's jaw dropped as he saw the bloody carnage left there. Not just the carnage from when he killed Fef and battered that fucking low-blooded piece of shit, but...oh god no.

He gazed in horror at the ten other bodies splayed out across the room. Eridan turned around to look up at his Master who was reaching for the sword in his chest.
"No! Please Master, they-"

One more body fell to the ground in the lab.

A/N:
I inspired myself while digging through older Homestuck memos and pesterlogs looking for clues as to what will happen in the future. Then I re-read the memo where CCG and FCG antagonize each other and piss Jade off. I came up with a theory and now this fic.

And this was incredibly silly and stupid and oh fuck what did I post this AWESOME IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY

Fixed. And how dare you try to convert me to Karkat x Jade with your absolutely wonderful fiction? HOW DARE YOU

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cheer:

@ Mayor: Ten thousand virgin's tears would be your reward.

[DJ-P0N3]

@morpheoMancer
Those tears are not worth much to me.
Offer me the blood of a thousand quazzledorfs
and two characters to use
and I will consider it.

[morpheoMancer]

@morpheoMancer
Those tears are not worth much to me.
Offer me the blood of a thousand quazzledorfs
and two characters to use
and I will consider it.

*starts culling the quazzledorfs in anticipation*
Go with Rose and John. They're my favorite ship, it'll make your job easier.

[DJ-P0N3]

@morpheoMancer
Those tears are not worth much to me.
Offer me the blood of a thousand quazzledorfs
and two characters to use
and I will consider it.

*starts culling the quazzledorfs in anticipation*
Go with Rose and John. They're my favorite ship, it'll make your job easier.

I hope you aren't expecting it soon.
I give myself a week, maybe longer to do this one.

[morpheoMancer]

@morpheoMancer
Those tears are not worth much to me.
Offer me the blood of a thousand quazzledorfs
and two characters to use
and I will consider it.

*starts culling the quazzledorfs in anticipation*
Go with Rose and John. They're my favorite ship, it'll make your job easier.

I hope you aren't expecting it soon.
I give myself a week, maybe longer to do this one.

That works just fine. And I'll just keep all of this blood in these pails I have laying around.

[KarneWarrior]

Not really to be completely honest.

That just seems a bit over the top.

Over the top?
OVER THE TOP?!
YOU DON'T KNOW OVER THE TOP!

Over the Top
Also known as: Equius' Big Day; Brawlin'; Why One Does Not Hurt Nepeta; Why Jack Noir Stopped Short Of Killing Aradia; Where Elvis Went; Why One Does Not Cause Significant Emotional Damage To The Man Who Punched Out Clark Kent; Fisticuffs; Blue Blood Is Thicker Than Water; That One Fic; My Immortal; The One Where Equius goes Batshit; Why Can't This Guy Write His Patron Troll; Get on With it.

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Eridan stalked through the exit of the lab only to be pounced on by Nepeta. He growled and pushed her off of him, to wich she only responded by bouncing a small ways away and licking her glove in a cat-like manner.

Realy Eridan couldn't see anything at all attractive in the girl. He wondered shortly why he even bothered to ask her out. Then he remembered the events that took place only seconds before and shrugged. There were always worse options than that.

In anycase there was reall no reason for him to shoot her in the foot. He just decided that since he was evil and all that he may as well act on his more dark instincts. So he did, with a small beam of white energy.

Nepeta, clutching her foot, yowled slightly. The next thing Eridan knew he was sailing through space attached to a rather beefy and sweaty rocket, oddly shaped like a fist, and also headed into the wall. Eridan made sure to protect his vital spots with his head, as he rocketed through the lab propelled by the Equius-shaped rocket. Odd, thought Eridan as if in a dream, while blasting through another couple walls with his face, that someone would make a rocket shaped like Equius.

It took him a few seconds to realize it was indeed Equius, that he had several severe concussions and that his cape had been swiped by none other than Kanaya, who was considering making a dunce cap out of it. Then he also realized that he was in space, floating towards the horrorterrors, and there was something green behind them. He let out a belated scream.

Which really didn't do anything, as Eridan screamed his way past massive abominations, small abominations, and the abominations usually found in math classrooms filled with smal children. The ones that attempt to impress their knowledge into your kids. You know the ones?

Math teachers are horrorterrors, is what I'm trying to say. That's the joke, you see.

Anyways as Eridan screamed past horrorterrors, Math teachers, and for some reason Neil Patrick Harris, Equius turned around and let him drift off into the green sun. The horroterrors got in his way though, so he casually tapped one on it's shoulder, upon which it promptly imploded. Equius walked unmolested on the odd half-air of the medium al the way back to the lab, where he shared a sandwhich with Elvis, who had decided to show up since humans weren't worth it anymore. They discussed morality, higher physics and that keyboard cat from the internet.

Distantly a explosion sounded as the Tumor (also known as Eridan) hit the green sun. Vriska felt a chill go down her spine and decided to hide somewhere. She didn't want to know what Terezi would do.

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NOW THAT'S OVER THE TOP.

[DJ-P0N3]

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@morpheoMancer
Those tears are not worth much to me.
Offer me the blood of a thousand quazzledorfs
and two characters to use
and I will consider it.

*starts culling the quazzledorfs in anticipation*
Go with Rose and John. They're my favorite ship, it'll make your job easier.

I hope you aren't expecting it soon.
I give myself a week, maybe longer to do this one.

That works just fine. And I'll just keep all of this blood in these pails I have laying around.

Pails...dear me....I am not ready for this.
Its so sudden.

[Caprisaurus]

...I'll give you more blood if you manage to stuff Jade and Dave in there Mayor.
LET'S JUST ADD MORE HEARTBREAK
-starts to help with the blood fund along with figuring out a more suitable reward AND finding a non-rusted hornpile-

[Graven_Image]

So, update.

Anyone going to try to call the outcome?

[Wigmund]

And how dare you try to convert me to Karkat x Jade with your absolutely wonderful fiction? HOW DARE YOU

show spoiler

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It's the best ship there is.
They have the cutest Christmases, The cutest kids and the cutest wedding.

[Domoz]

So, update.

Anyone going to try to call the outcome?

Sloppy blackrom makeouts

because I ship this ;;

[DJ-P0N3]

...I'll give you more blood if you manage to stuff Jade and Dave in there Mayor.
LET'S JUST ADD MORE HEARTBREAK
-starts to help with the blood fund along with figuring out a more suitable reward AND finding a non-rusted hornpile-

By adding those two in.
I got a wicked idea.
It might be more horrific in the end.
I will get to work on it when I have the chance.

[Bratmon]

So, update.

Anyone going to try to call the outcome?

Kanaya's still alive. She has to give additional passwords to Jade.

[Ryavis]

So, update.

Anyone going to try to call the outcome?

Switches to Jade or Dave, we don't learn about the outcome for at least a week.

[morpheoMancer]

So, update.

Anyone going to try to call the outcome?

Karkat. Scythe. Long overdue culling.

@ Mayor: -

@Wigmund: Those fics have all of the cute. All of it.

[Graven_Image]

Kanaya's still alive. She has to give additional passwords to Jade.

Booyeah. +99 to Plot Armor.

I keep track of the plot armor, by the way.

[DJ-P0N3]

@morpheoMancer
If you really want my - romance you'll have to beat my seven evil exes.

[Graven_Image]

@morpheoMancer
If you really want my - romance you'll have to beat my seven evil exes.

But wait

Since it's blackrom, wouldn't they have to be the seven good exes who you're still all on good terms with?

[Kisame12]

@morpheoMancer
If you really want my - romance you'll have to beat my seven evil exes.

But wait

Since it's blackrom, wouldn't they have to be the seven good exes who you're still all on good terms with?

SSHHHH! I like where this is going!

[DJ-P0N3]

@morpheoMancer
If you really want my - romance you'll have to beat my seven evil exes.

But wait

Since it's blackrom, wouldn't they have to be the seven good exes who you're still all on good terms with?

They are still evil.
They are just not my kind of evil.