The Aisleventure that doesn't take place in an aisle (most of the time)

[billybobfred]

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Aisleventures are like normal adventures, except that every command results in an ending, and the goal is to find all the endings. All of them.

Only since I'm making this up as I go, you can't actually find all the endings, because I can just make another one.

So really you're just inputting commands and seeing what I do with them.

Because it's fun, obviously.

Finally. You've been searching for so long, and you're finally done.

... You're not entirely sure what to do now that you've found what you're looking for.
:> _:

[Bommster]

Sell that stupid holy grail in a garage sale.

Not worth the time.

[Nametaken]

Finally! You have found the treasure! Now you shall be rich and... OH SHIT! PIRATES!

[SonicLover]

>Ask your partner to hide it again

[Nametaken]

Write down your name in the list and hide it again so someone else can find this precious geocache.

[SonicLover]

Write down your name in the list and hide it again so someone else can find this precious geocache.

Now, now, one command per person per turn.

[Reecer6]

>Suddenly, NINJA GUARDS! THOUSANDS OF THEM!

[Brickman]

Cross milk off your list and start searching for bread.

[Nametaken]

Write down your name in the list and hide it again so someone else can find this precious geocache.

Now, now, one command per person per turn.

let the writer choose that ._.

[billybobfred]

For the sake of order, I'm going to say one command per person per turn.

For the sake of "I'm too lazy to actually check", I'm not going to enforce that.

Yes, I'm too lazy to do less work.

Sell that stupid holy grail in a garage sale.

Not worth the time.

This... This is it? The Holy Grail is... Man. Lame. At least in Fate Stay/Night it was a badass blob of evil goo. This is just... Screw it. Garage sale.

Unfortunately, nobody wants to buy a blob of... whatever that is. Even if they do believe it's the Holy Grail. Which it seems they don't.

*** Fuck garage sales. ***

Finally! You have found the treasure! Now you shall be rich and... OH SHIT! PIRATES!

With at least five cutlasses at your throat, there's no way you can take any action against these pirates.

"Yarr!" the leader, uh, yarrs. "This be our treasure, and anyone what be tryin' to steal it will be walkin' the plank."

"Wait, steal it?" you respond. "Oh. That's not what I'm here for at all! I'm here to tell you-- the secret treasure that everyone who opens it dies?"

"Yarr...?"

"It's kind of a trap. There's some kind of... it's..." You know there's a curse or something on it preventing you from explaining it; apparently the curse applies to itself as well.

"Oh, and you think you can be trickin' us into lettin' you open it yerself? Fat chance, landlubber." The pirate captain casts his gaze among his crewmates. "You there! You do it!"

"Bad idea..." But you can't stop him. The treasure chest explodes and you all die.

*** Who makes a trap like that?! ***

>Ask your partner to hide it again

"I wi-in, I wi-in," you say to your friend.

"No fair! You peeked!"

"Nuh-uh! I bet you elevty mazillion dollars that I can find it again just as fast!"

"You're cheating somehow! I'm not gonna play with you anymore!" And he storms off in a huff.

*** He'll get over it in a few hours. ***

Write down your name in the list and hide it again so someone else can find this precious geocache.

Man. This little rock must have quite a story to tell. Or rather, it would if rocks could talk. Too bad about that. You add your name to the list, put the whole container back together, and head home. You'll think of somewhere to hide it tomorrow. You always do.

*** It took a month to be found again. New record! ***

>Suddenly, NINJA GUARDS! THOUSANDS OF THEM!

GAH

*** You have been stabbed. A lot. ***

Cross milk off your list and start searching for bread.

Why do they keep moving stuff around, anyway? It's bad enough that your grocery store is literally a maze. Dead ends and everything.

*** You never could find tomatoes again. ***


Finally. You've been searching for so long, and you're finally done.

... You're not entirely sure what to do now that you've found what you're looking for.
:> _:


Ending count: 6

[Nametaken]

Now that you've finally found "The best barber shop in the world.", which was unconvenientlly hidden inside a forest on the top of the mountain, it's time to get your hair cut!

[Mirdini]

> Suffer from a nervous collapse in the wedding aisle now that you've found the ring you dropped and subconciously still don't want to get married.

(Mirdini: Subvert the adventure name).

[Heatwizard]

>Finally, you have been reunited with the TV remote. It has been lost to the Barren Sofa for ages.

[SonicLover]

>Finally, you can find out how that novel ends!

[Brickman]

Beyond that door lies The Truth, but do you really want to face it? Wouldn't it be easier to go back to living your comfortable lie?

[billybobfred]

Now that you've finally found "The best barber shop in the world.", which was unconvenientlly hidden inside a forest on the top of the mountain, it's time to get your hair cut!

Jegus that took forever. Your hair is out of control. It took how long to find this stupid barber shop? Ugh.

... What's that sign in the window? ... "Sorry, closed"?

*** GOD. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMNN ***

> Suffer from a nervous collapse in the wedding aisle now that you've found the ring you dropped and subconciously still don't want to get married.

(Mirdini: Subvert the adventure name).

You... found the ring. You thought you had dropped it in such a way that it would never be found again. This is... such a relief. You can... uhhhhh

*** You have lost consciousness. ***

>Finally, you have been reunited with the TV remote. It has been lost to the Barren Sofa for ages.

Freaking finally!

*** You no longer have to stand up to change the channel. ***

>Finally, you can find out how that novel ends!

Seriously, it's the second most popular book in the world. You'd think the library would have more than one copy. You take it to the front desk to check it out, but...

"Sorry, that book is reserved and there are approximately nine thousand people on the waiting list."

*** Waiting list?!? ***

Beyond that door lies The Truth, but do you really want to face it? Wouldn't it be easier to go back to living your comfortable lie?

... Nah!

*** You now know everything you need to know. ***


Finally. You've been searching for so long, and you're finally done.

... You're not entirely sure what to do now that you've found what you're looking for.
:> _:


Ending count: 11

[Nametaken]

Now that you finally found the last piece of the puzzle, it's time to finish what you started!

[Brickman]

There's no way she'll be walking away from this party alive. You will have your revenge tonight.

[SonicLover]

>Buy that figurine and complete your collection!

[Reecer6]

>Use final jump power-up to jump into the secret area

[Andorxor]

>You finally got the bread,and what a stupid place to store it, next to the toilet paper.Now search for onions.

[billybobfred]

Now that you finally found the last piece of the puzzle, it's time to finish what you started!

Yes! Assemble that puzzle!

Click click click...
... It's a duck.

*** All that work for a duck? ***

There's no way she'll be walking away from this party alive. You will have your revenge tonight.

She stole everything you ever loved. Except your knife, Sasha. You don't actually see the point of naming a knife, but all your new friends at the Revenge Center do it, so you figure there must be a reason.

Sasha will drink well tonight. ... Maybe that's the reason. Sure sounds a lot better than "I'm gonna stab the fuck out of this girl".

Anyway-- wait, where did she go?

*** You are too easily distracted. ***

>Buy that figurine and complete your collection!

"That'll be 413 boonbonds," the guy says.

"413 boonbucks," you respond, pulling out your wallet. "You have yourself a--"

"Bonds. 413 boonbonds. Not bucks."

"413 boonbonds? How the hell rare is this thing?"

"Rare enough."

You eye the salesman. It seems he's serious. You turn around, making a huge show of how exasperating this is. "Look. I will give you 612 boonbucks, and that's my final offer."

"No deal."

"Oh, fine," you say, and having confirmed that there are no witnesses, you stab him to death.

*** You said Sasha would drink well tonight, and by golly she's gonna drink! ***

>Use final jump power-up to jump into the secret area

Man. You only died like a thousand times against that boss. Finally, you can get into that blatantly-visible secret area in the first room.

In it you find a note that "A WINNER IS YOU!".

*** Lousy goddamn stupid game developers. ***

>You finally got the bread,and what a stupid place to store it, next to the toilet paper.Now search for onions.

Onions? Who needs onions?

*** You hate onions. ***


Finally. You've been searching for so long, and you're finally done.

... You're not entirely sure what to do now that you've found what you're looking for.
:> _:


Ending count: 16

[Andorxor]

>You need onions,because your pregnant wife wants liver with onions.Now that you have remembered take them and search for liver.

[SonicLover]

>Yes! With this powerful new card, you can finally beat James at your next trading card duel!

[Xander]

You just found the infinite ammo rocket launcher.