This thread is a complete joke! (no x is so fat jokes)

[Alberio]

Where does Nepeta buy her food?

The Delicatessen!

Okay, so that was terrible. But you can do better!

MSPA jokes thread.

mod note: You guys can no longer tell "___ is so fat that...." jokes. If your joke is a pesterlog that is really, really long, I might move it to the fanfiction thread.

[Trannisaurus]

Why did the Gamzee cross the road?

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SO THAT NO ONE SURVIVES
honk
HONK
honk
HONK

...
I believe we're off to a rousing start.

[Varkarrus]

Terezi, John, and Rose walk into a bar. It's weird, because after John walked into it, Rose would have ducked. Not Terezi, though, she's blind.

[Spenny1515]

Knock knock
Who's there?

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No one, until Bec Noir teleport-stabs you

[DecidedlyDevious]

How was Nepeta murdered?

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Run over by a carcat

[BlastYoBoots]

Feferi, Nepeta, and Vriska once boarded a private jet. The landing gear collapsed under the weight.

[KawaiiMelon]

What is Vriska's weight?

The last time they tried to weigh her, the scale broke.

[BlastYoBoots]

The last time they tried to weigh her, the scale broke it opened the Rift.

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Vriska's BMI is Lord English.

[P_equals_NP]

what did rose say when she pricked herself knitting the bunny?

"i have a weakness for insufferable pricks!"

(ps if you get that joke ur a nerd)

[-Benedict]

(ps if you get that joke ur a nerd)

I'm sorry, were you implying there are non-nerds on these forums?

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] --

GC: H3Y 3R1D4N!
GC: H3Y
GC: HEY 3R1D4N!
CA: wwhat
GC: HOW DO YOU K33P 4N 1D1OT 1N SUSP3NS3? >:]
CA: i dont knoww howw
CA: ...
CA: seriously howw
CA: ...
CA: ........
CA: ...ter howw do i keep an idio

-- caligulasAquarium [CA] has been hanged. --

GC: H3H3H3H3H3 >:D

[BlastYoBoots]

CG: ONCE THERE WAS A RETARDED WIGGLER WHOM NOBODY LOVED.
CG: HE SPENT SIX SWEEPS SOILING HIS LEG-HOLDING CLOTHING ARTICLES BECAUSE HIS PERSONALITY CAUSED SANE TROLLS TO RECOIL AND DEFECATE INSTINCTIVELY OUT OF DISGUST.
CG: ONE DAY HE KILLED ALL HIS FRIENDS, ALL TWO OF THEM
CG: WHICH WAS AN IMPRESSIVE FEAT IN THE FIRST PLACE, ACQUIRING TWO FUCKING FRIENDS THAT DIDN'T FEEL LIKE CULLING HIM AT THE SIGHT OF HIS RIDICULOUS DYED HAIR
CG: AND AS A REWARD, HE GOT A SICKLE STUCK TWO FEET UP HIS BULGE.
CG: THE END.
CG: ...
CG: IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE ERIDAN DIES.

[Greyscale]

A Feferi, a Tavros, and a Kanaya walk into a bar and order a drink and a mop each.

[DecidedlyDevious]

What game does sollux excel at most?

Double Jeopardy!

[KawaiiMelon]

Yo Vriska's so fat, when Eridan tried to kill her her, the bean just went into her fat roll and hasn't came out since.

[ScientificFlorist]

GA: What Do You Get When You Cross An Automobile And A Feline
CG: ...DON'T FUCKING SAY IT
GA: Karkat
CG: ...
GA: Beep Beep Meow

EDIT:

Also, from the Different context thread,

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AG: Hey.
AG: What's gray and 8lack and 8rown all over?
CG: WHAT.
AG: Tavros, cause he's dead!
CG: THAT DOESN'T REALLY-
AG: When is a lance fully dressed?
CG: I DON'T REALLY-
AG: When it's wearing Tavros!
CG: THESE AREN'T VERY FUNNY.
AG: When is a driveway not a driveway?
AG: ...
AG: Tavros is dead!
CG: I MEAN REALLY.
CG: IGNORING THE GROSS DISPLAY OF INSENSITIVITY THESE REMARKS REPRESENT AND LOOKING AT THEM FROM A STRICTLY STRUCTURALIST PERSPECTIVE, THEY JUST AREN'T FUNNY.
AG: How many Tavroses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
AG: ...
AG: He's dead!

[deviantProfiteer]

GA: What Do You Get When You Cross An Automobile And A Feline
CG: ...DON'T FUCKING SAY IT
GA: Karkat
CG: ...
GA: Beep Beep Meow

EDIT:

Also, from the Different context thread,

show spoiler

hide spoiler

AG: Hey.
AG: What's gray and 8lack and 8rown all over?
CG: WHAT.
AG: Tavros, cause he's dead!
CG: THAT DOESN'T REALLY-
AG: When is a lance fully dressed?
CG: I DON'T REALLY-
AG: When it's wearing Tavros!
CG: THESE AREN'T VERY FUNNY.
AG: When is a driveway not a driveway?
AG: ...
AG: Tavros is dead!
CG: I MEAN REALLY.
CG: IGNORING THE GROSS DISPLAY OF INSENSITIVITY THESE REMARKS REPRESENT AND LOOKING AT THEM FROM A STRICTLY STRUCTURALIST PERSPECTIVE, THEY JUST AREN'T FUNNY.
AG: How many Tavroses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
AG: ...
AG: He's dead!

I love this.


How does Eridan get all the ladies?

He gets a little help from Rufio.

[Shadow of the Lotus]

Why did the bipedal fowl, unable to fly but covered in feathers, most closely resembling an Earth chicken other than its third eye, navigate in a fashion not solely described by 'cross' but seemingly conveyed in near totality by its phrasing, a pathway dividing two distinct land elements held different from the pathway itself?

The very rational by which the bipedal fowl navigated the pathway was inherent in the very act of crossing. This is humorous as the rational driving the action could be expected as being something other than obvious. However, as the rational driving the action is merely to do the action in itself, the bipedal fowl has tricked you and earned your scorn.

[BlastYoBoots]

GA: Why Did The Bipedal Fowl
GA: Unable To Fly But Covered In Feathers
GA: Most Closely Resembling An Earth Chicken Other Than Its Third Eye
GA: Navigate In A Fashion Not Solely Described By 'Cross' But Seemingly Conveyed In Near Totality By Its Phrasing
GA: A Pathway Dividing Two Distinct Land Elements Held Different From The Pathway Itself
GA: ?
TG: the fuck
GA: The Very Rationale By Which The Bipedal Fowl Navigated The Pathway Was Inherent
GA: In The Very Act Of Crossing
GA: This Is Humorous As The Rationale Driving The Action Could Be Expected As Being Something Other Than Obvious
GA: However As The Rationale Behind The Action Is Merely Self Evident
GA: The Bipedal Fowl Has Tricked You And Earned Your Scorn
GA: !

Fixed that for you

[Varkarrus]

That is hilarious. Made better by Blast yo boots, o course.

[ArmsAreLoud]

Yo momma's so fat, she could crush Vriska.

[Plummet]

Yo Vriska's so fat, when Eridan tried to kill her her, the bean just went into her fat roll and hasn't came out since.

VRISKA'S SO FAT SHE FELL ON HER LUSUS AND KILLED IT

ohhhhhhhhhhh snaaaaaaaaaaappppppp

ps.

o snap.

[KawaiiMelon]

Vriska's so fat, when she tried to stab a lance into Tavros she couldnt reach and ended up cutting herself.

[BlastYoBoots]

CT: D --> A noble musclebeast tramples into a bar, e%ecuting dozens
CT: D --> The imperial liquornnihilator 100ks up at its grand form in fear and veneration, and asks
CT: D --> "Why the long "
TG: oh my god

[Plummet]

Vriska's so fat, when she tried to stab a lance into Tavros she couldnt reach and ended up cutting herself.

Vriska's so fat, she sat on a boondollar and turned it into one million boonbucks!

What is Vriska's weight?

The last time they tried to weigh her, the scale broke.

Vriska's so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on the SCALE!

[KawaiiMelon]

TT: What did the eldritch abomination say to the mortal?
TT: Glthfdglthflflth.
TG: oh god
TG: why do people come to me for bad jokes
TT: Well, it amused me.
TT: Why don't you share a joke?
TG: fuck no, i've been bombarded with them all day
TG: ask john or something jegus
TG: fucking tired of jokes