Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
@Path: /purrrrrrrrrr. I wish I had something more constructive to say, but.... nope.
edit:
HAH what Graven said. Oh man. What kind of monstrosity would a SBURB/40k crossover even turn into? (well, nobody would be especially phased by Horrorterrors, anyway :I)
Last edited by Kassiopeia; 02-04-2011 at 04:15 PM.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Things are getting a little too hardboiled around here. Perhaps it is time I soften them up with:
Chapter 5: Making The Rounds
Some people can mope around for days or even weeks. They can spend hours at a time wallowing in self-pity, doing nothing except contemplating the many unfortunate things that have happened to them and the fundamental unfairness of life.
Because such people are not well adapted to survive playing SGRUB, Karkat got sick of it in about two hours. He might have gone on longer if his withdrawal was having an apparent effect. Instead, life got on without him. People kept running around and typing feverishly on their computers. Plans were being made and implemented without his leaderly guidance.
This could not go on.
Skimming through the recently dated memos, Karkat zeroed in on the apparent usurper and proceeded to march forward in order to reclaim the mantle of leadership.
View Conversation:
CG: KANAYA!
GA:Yes
CG: WHAT THE HELL? DID YOU THINK I WOULDN’T NOTICE YOU TRYING TO SNEAK YOUR WAY INTO BEING THE LEADER?
GA: Rest Assured I Had No Such Intentions
CG: DO YOU EXPECT ME TO ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT?
CG: BECAUSE IF SO YOU MUST BE DREAMING
CG: OH WAIT, YOU CAN’T ANYMORE.
CG: THIS IS A BY-THE-BOOK POWER GRAB.
CG: YOU WAIT UNTIL I TURN MY BACK FOR A MINUTE AND THEN TAKE CONTROL BY MOBILIZING THE FRIGHTENED AND EASILY LED MOB OF IDIOTS.
CG: OR IS THERE SOME OTHER REASON YOU STARTED THIS WHOLE THING WITHOUT ME?
GA: As I Recall You Wanted Nothing To Do With This Effort
GA: You Were In Fact Quite Emphatic On The Subject
CG: YEAH WELL I CHANGED MY MIND.
CG: I STILL SAY WE’RE ALL FUCKING DOOMED, BUT IF THERE IS GOING TO BE ANY KIND OF EFFORT UNDERWAY, IT WILL BE LED BY ME.
CG: SO HAND OVER THE REINS RIGHT NOW, MARYAM.
GA: Very Well
GA: You Have Defeated My Ploy Which I Was Clearly Making
GA: Because That Is Exactly The Sort Of Thing I Do All The Time
GA: You May Now Take Charge Of The Itinerary
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
GA: It Is The Organizational Structure And Schedule Of Our Effort
GA: The Survival Committee Encompasses Everyone Willing To Participate In Staving Off Our Supposedly Inevitable Doom
GA: Which If You Are Joining Includes Everyone We Know
GA: But Most Of The Actual Work Is Being Done By The Various Subcommittees
CG: HOW MANY OF THOSE ARE THERE?
GA: The Number Has Been Steadily Growing Since Conception
GA: But It Appears To Stabilize At Sixty Two In Two Hours
CG: THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT MANY COMMITTEES ARE NECEESSARY.
GA: No Of Course Not
GA: I Freely Confess Some Of The Subcommittees Are Mainly Created To Keep Their Members Occupied
GA: And Not Thinking About The Terrible Fates That Have The Potential To Befall Us
GA: But Many Serve A Genuine Purpose
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT?
CG: I’M PUTTING YOU IN CHARGE OF THIS COMMITTEE BULLSHIT
CG: YOU CAN JUST KEEP RUNNING EVERYONE AROUND
CG: AS LONG AS YOU NEVER FORGET WHO THE TRUE LEADER IS.
GA: Very Well
GA: I Shall Make A Post On The Main Board Reminding Everyone Of Your Continued Leadership Status
GA: In The Meantime I Need You To Do A Favor For Me
CG: WHY WOULD I DO THAT?
GA: Because I Can See The Future You Doing It
CG: GODDAMNIT.
CG: WHAT’S THE FAVOR?
GA: I Need You To Check If Everyone Is Doing Their Job And Gently Prod Anyone Goofing Off Back To Work
CG: YEAH, OKAY.
Karkat walked away, plagued by nagging suspicions that he was being manipulated. But he couldn’t think of a way to retaliate that didn’t involve tracking down the minutiae of hundreds of meetings between assholes and idiots he didn’t even care to look at, much less observe closely. Therefore he would rely on Kanaya’s notable lack of ambition – for the moment at least.
He inspected the lab. Only about half the trolls were still here. Gamzee was not scheduled to go crazy for several more hours. Once that happened there would be no more wandering off. Not if he had anything to say about it. But for the moment, his subordinates were running around like so many fowl with their heads removed.
He stared at those that were present. He walked the lab, looking over their shoulders. Much to his surprise, they actually seemed to be working. Not that he trusted that for a second. All his leadership experience told him that if he turned his back on anyone for even a second, they would immediately stop doing anything useful whatsoever and start being idiots. The situation demanded a more thorough investigation.
The trolls currently in the room were split into three basic groups:
One was Gamzee, lounging in the horn pile all by himself. Karkat immediately decided to put him off until last.
The second group consisted of Eridan, Feferi, and Vriska. This immediately set off warning bells. The two sea-dwellers had had minimal contact since the game’s beginning but Eridan’s recent habit of making speeches about the power of hope seemed to be slowly winning Feferi’s trust. Karkat wasn’t really sure how to feel about that aspect of it. But seeing Eridan next to Vriska was something else. With the kind of thing those two got up to back in the day they were dangerous enough to start with. And now with Vriska’s God Tier powers and Eridan’s White Science they were probably more powerful than the rest of the group combined. If they were to somehow arrange to be in cahoots again…
He had to stop it.
The third group, consisting of Sollux and Nepeta, was certainly odd, but could wait until later.
View Conversation:
CG: OKAY, THERE IS NO WAY THE TWO OF YOU AREN’T GETTING UP TO SOMETHING, SO OUT WITH IT: WHAT HORRIBLE THING ARE YOU PLOTTING?
AG: Oh, please, Karkat!
AG: I am much too 8usy to indulge your theatrics.
AG: For your information, I am 8eing a good little trooper and juggling the su8committees like so many irons in the fire.
AG: So many!
CG: THAT IS THE WORST METAPHOR EVER.
CG: IF YOU TRIED JUGGLING IRONS FROM THE FIRE, YOU WOULD BURN YOUR HANDS.
CG: ACTUALLY, NEVER MIND.
CG: THE METAPHOR IS PERFECT, BECAUSE THAT IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF DUMB STUNT YOU WOULD PULL.
AG: Thanks!!!!!!!!
CG: BUT I STILL DON’T TRUST YOU FOR A SECOND.
CG: AND I DON’T TRUST THIS FUCKING FISH-FACE HERE EITHER.
CC: Do you )(ave some sort of a problem with fis)( faces? 38P
CC: For your information, --Eridan’s been be)(aving )(imself!
CC: Glub.
AG: In other words, the dwee8 has mostly 8een hitting on us.
AG: With no time left over for any of his lame gothy supervillainly.
AG: Talk about paaaaaaaathetic!
CA: none of that is evven remotely true
CA: wwell except the part about the supervvillainy
CA: i really havven’t been doin much of that lately
CA: but i definitely wwasn’t hitting on anyone
CA: although i don’t sea wwhy you should be so hostile to the idea
CA: i mean it’s not like you havve a proper rivval or anythin
CA: wwhat wwith noir bein dead and tavvros bein a fuckin doormat
AG: You see what I mean.
CG: OKAY, I CAN BELIEVE THAT HE HAS BEEN WAY TOO BUSY GETTING SHOT DOWN ROMANTICALLY TO PLOT ANYTHING MUCH.
CG: BUT YOU I STILL SUSPECT.
AG: Oh pleeeeeeeease, Karkat!
AG: I have a vested interest in surviving too, you know.
AG: So I’ll play Kanaya’s little game until it gets too 8oring.
AG: At which point I will 8egin subverting it to my own ends.
CG: NOW THAT I’M WILLING TO BELIEVE.
CG: YOU’RE OFF THE HOOK FOR NOW.
Karkat tried to decide how much of that he could trust. Quite a bit, probably. Eridan had never really been that serious about killing. It was more a way to meet girls than anything else. And the contempt in Vriska’s voice seemed genuine. It didn’t seem as though she was willing to look past her own superiority complex long enough to reform Team Karkat Doesn’t Need This Bullshit Right Now.
Not for the first time Karkat was thankful that whatever deity decided to make it impossible for trolls to do anything useful for five minutes at a time extended that inability to killing.
With that situation ostensibly under control, he could head for the other one. Sollux and Nepeta, while unlikely to be up to much, were a strange enough combination to warrant investigating.
View Conversation:
CG: I AM SUSPICIOUS AS HELL.
CG: MAINLY AS TO WHY YOU’RE HANGING HERE WITH THE CATGIRL INSTEAD OF OVER THERE WITH THE FISHGIRL.
TA: KK, ii am tryiing 2 get 2ome actual work done.
TA: FF ii2 iin no way conductiive 2 thii2 ambiitiion.
CG: AND I’M SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THIS ONE HERE IS?
AC: :33 < *a mighty lioness pounces on the crabby little customer
AC: :33 < * she holds him down and explains
AC: :33 < i have been working very diligently!
AC: :33 < *ac has a very impawtant job to do here
TA: a2iide from the 2hiitty roleplayiing 2he 2as been mo2tly quiet
CG: OKAY POP QUIZ: WHAT ARE YOU WORKING ON?
TA: ii call iit the project2 2fold
CG: OF COURSE YOU DO.
TA: 1: ii’m on the 2ubcommiittee of computiing machiinery
TA: where ii have to carry the whole project on my back
TA: becau2e the only one around here who know2 even the 2liighte2t biit about codiing ii2 equiiu2 and he’2 2 bu2y with other bull2hiit
TA: 2: ii am al2o on the 2ubcommiittee of p2ychiic power2
TA: where my chief job is to 2iit around 2cratchiing my head along wiith everyone el2e
TA: becau2e really what do any of us know about the oriigiin or nature of tho2e thiing2
TA: we might a2 well be gamzee tryiing 2 figure out magnet2 for all the good we’re doiing
TA: and kanaya put me on a 2lew of other 2ubcommittee2 but ii’ve been actiively iignoriing them becau2e ii’ve got enough on my plate a2 iit ii2
CG: FINE, BUT I’M WATCHING YOU.
CG: AND IF I CATCH YOU GOOFING OFF, I’M GOING TO SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF YOU SO HARD THOSE STUPID GLASSES OF YOURS WILL FLY RIGHT OFF YOUR FACE.
CG: IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?
TA: shut up, KK
CG: FUCK YOU.
Okay, that was all taken care of. Sollux’s loyalty to the cause had been confirmed and the traditional volley of insults and quasi-sincere hostility exchanged. Apparently nothing fishy was going on at the moment. Probably this was all still too new to everyone. Give it a couple more hours and they would be tripping all over themselves to fuck everything up.
But that still left Gamzee. As much as Karkat wanted to just walk away, he could not in all good conscience do so.
So…
View Conversation:
CG: UH, HEY.
CG: YOU ALL RIGHT?
TC: MoThErFuCkInG FiNe mY BrOtHeR
CG: NOT FEELING...CRAZY OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT?
TC: NaH
TC: I Am uNdEr aBsOlUtElY No cOmPuLsIoN To kIlL YoU AlL AnD MaKe yOuR BlOoD InTo mIrAcLeS
CG: OH GOD.
CG: WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT.
TC: BeCaUsE It’S TrUe oF CoUrSe
TC: WhY ElSe sAy mOtHeRfUcKiNg aNyThInG
CG: OKAY, NO.
CG: I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS RIGHT NOW.
CG: JUST...JUST SIT HERE AND KEEP DOING WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING.
CG: AND IF YOU FEEL THAT COMPULSION YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT, JUST GET UP AND GET AS FAR AWAY FROM US AS POSSIBLE, ALL RIGHT?
TC: SuRe
TC: If yOu sAy sO
CG: I DO.
CG: I ABSOLUTELY SAY SO.
CG: DON’T YOU WORRY, GAMZEE.
CG: WE’RE GOING TO FIX YOU.
CG: WE’RE GOING TO GET YOU SOME MORE SLIME AND GET YOU BACK TO NORMAL.
TC: rEaLlY
CG: WELL, IF WE’RE BEING REALISTIC, PROBABLY NOT.
CG: MOST LIKELY WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE, PROBABLY BY YOUR HAND.
CG: BUT UNTIL THEN WE’LL JUST KEEP TRYING.
TC: WeLl tHaT’s ReAlLy aLl a MoThErFuCkEr cAn aSk fOr iSn’T It
TC: ExCePt mAyBe a mIrAcLe oR TwO To hElP OuT
CG: GAMZEE, AT THIS POINT I’LL TAKE WHATEVER HELP I CAN GET.
CG: SO PRAY TO WHATEVER FUCKING GODS YOU WORSHIP AS HARD AS YOU CAN.
TC: CaN Do mOtHeRfUcKeR
And that – finally – took care of everyone in the room. Unfortunately, this was just the beginning. Karkat had another question to face.
View Conversation:
CG: HAS ANYONE SEEN TAVROS, EQUIUS, ARADIA, OR TEREZI?
CG: WAIT.
CG: FUCK.
CG: EQUIUS AND ARADIA ARE MISSING AT THE SAME TIME.
CG: THAT MEANS THERE IS A SMALL BUT SIGNIFICANT CHANCE THEY ARE MAKING OUT.
AG: Thanks a l8t, Karkaaaaaaaat!
AG: Some of us were trying to forg8t that!
TA: 2eriiou2ly.
CG: OKAY, ARE THEY IN THE FLUSHED OR CALIGIONOUS PHASE RIGHT NOW?
CG: GOD I DON’T KNOW WHICH IS WORSE.
AC: :33 < *ac thinks it’s very cute!*
AC: :33 < also i think you should be fine as long as you don’t check the pile of robot parts.
CG: OH GOD NO.
CG: IF THEY’RE IN THE ROBOT PART PILE I DON’T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT.
CG: I DON’T EVEN CARE IF THEY’RE JUST LYING IN THERE AND DISCUSSING STRATEGY OR SOMETHING.
CG: ALSO WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THE ROBOT PART PILE ANYWAY?
CG: I MEAN I REALIZE THERE IS SORT OF A TRADITION OF MAKING PILES OF INCREDIBLY STUPID THINGS AND THEN LYING AROUND IN THEM AROUND HERE, BUT STILL!
CG: IT’S FUCKING FULL OF JAGGED PIECES OF METAL. I DON’T CARE HOW STRONG HE IS OR HOW HIS GIRLFRIEND’S MADE OF METAL, THAT CANNOT BE IN ANY WAY COMFORTABLE.
CG: FUCK IT, THOSE TWO CAN GET BACK TO WORK WHENEVER THEY WANT.
CG: I DIDN’T EVEN WANT TO TALK TO HIM ANYWAY.
Karkat was through the teleporter before he realized he forgot to ask where the other two were. Naturally, he didn’t go back and instead forged ahead blindly, hoping to run into one of them through sheer dumb luck.
Evidently, dumb luck was indeed on his side today because it took no more than five minutes for him to run into Tavros. To no-one’s surprise, Tavros wasn’t working. But he didn’t seem to be randomly running around stashing things where they didn’t belong either. Instead, he was just sort of sitting on a stair with his head supported by his arms – whether to demonstrate heavy emotions or to compensate for the enormous weight of his horns Karkat didn’t know.
Still, he wasn’t busy. Such insubordination could not go unpunished.
View Conversation:
CG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?
AT: hI, kARKAT,
AT: i AM THINKING,
AT: oR AT LEAST I AM TRYING TO,
CG: AND JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT?
CG: BECAUSE IT HAD BETTER BE YOUR ASSIGNMENT.
CG: OR ELSE.
AT: nO, nOT REALLY I SUPPOSE,
AT: kANAYA PUT ME ON THE SUBCOMMITTEE OF ROLEPLAYING,
AT: aND ALSO THE SUBCOMMITTEE OF PROSPIT,
AT: bUT IF WE’RE BEING HONEST I DON’T REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT THOSE THINGS,
AT: i THINK THAT RIGHT NOW,
AT: i WOULD PREFER TO JUST SIT HERE AND THINK,
AT: aBOUT OTHER STUFF,
AT: iF THAT’S OKAY,
CG: WHAT OTHER STUFF, EXACTLY?
AT: wELL, i AM THINKING ABOUT CONFIDENCE A LOT,
AT: aND ALSO RED FEELINGS,
AT: aND FRIENDSHIP,
AT: aND A LOT OF OTHER THINGS, rEALLY,
CG: OH GOD.
CG: DOES THIS HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH VRISKA?
AT: nOT, uHHHH,
AT: nOT ALL OF IT,
AT: bUT MAYBE SOME OF IT,
CG: WHO, THEN?
AT: i WOULD RATHER NOT SAY,
AT: iF THAT’S OKAY WITH YOU,
CG: NO IT’S NOT FUCKING OKAY WITH ME.
CG: IF YOU’RE GOING TO SIT AROUND ON THESE STAIRS AND MOPE AROUND INSTEAD OF GOING OUT AND BEING USELESS IN ONE OF KANAYA’S BULLSHIT COMMITTEES,
CG: YOU WILL AT LEAST TELL ME EXACTLY WHY.
AT: oH, oKAY,
AT: iT’S JADE.
CG: OH GOD.
CG: AGAIN WITH THE HUMAN-TROLL ROMANCES.
CG: THIS IS THE SICKEST FUCKING THING I’VE EVER HEARD.
AT: dON’T WORRY,
AT: jADE ISN’T INTERESTED IN ME,
AT: iN THAT WAY,
AT: sHE SAID SO,
AT: wHICH IS SORT OF WHY I AM SITTING AROUND HERE,
AT: mOPING,
AT: aND ALSO THINKING,
CG: WELL, IT COULD BE WORSE.
CG: YOU COULD BE ERIDAN.
AT: i DON’T THINK I’M THAT MUCH BETTER OFF,
AT: iF WE’RE BEING HONEST,
CG: MAYBE YOU TWO COULD GET TOGETHER SOMETIME AND START THE REJECTED BY HUMANS CLUB.
AT: aND WOULD YOU JOIN US IN THAT CLUB,
AT: kARKAT,
CG: STFU!
AT: sORRY,
CG: LOOK, JUST
CG: JUST NEVERMIND.
CG: SO HAVE YOU COME UP WITH ANYTHING?
CG: IN YOUR THOUGHTS I MEAN.
AT: wELL,
AT: iN THINKING ABOUT CONFIDENCE,
AT: i THINK THAT MAYBE HAVING CONFIDENCE IS IMPORTANT,
AT: bUT IT IS NOT GOING TO GET YOU EVERYTHING YOU WANT,
CG: BETTER THAN NOTHING, I GUESS.
CG: OKAY, YOU CAN MOPE FOR ANOTHER HALF AN HOUR
CG: BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO GET BACK TO THIS COMMITTEE CRAP.
CG: AND PLAYING GAMES FOR GIRLS AND TALKING ABOUT PRANCING AROUND PROSPIT IN YOUR FUCKING SISSY GOLDEN LEOTARD.
CG: GOT IT?
AT: yES,
AT: aND I THINK THAT MAYBE I AM OKAY WITH THAT,
AT: i GUESS I WILL PROBABLY SEE JADE A LOT IN THE SUBCOMMITTEES,
AT: aND EVEN IF SHE DOESN’T FEEL RED FOR ME, WE CAN AT LEAST BECOME FRIENDS,
AT: aND I AM HAVING SOME OTHER HOPES,
AT: bUT I DON’T WANT TO SAY THEM RIGHT NOW,
CG: OH GOD WITH THE HOPE.
CG: I DO NOT WANT TO LISTEN TO ANYTHING ABOUT HOPE RIGHT NOW.
CG: JUST GET BACK TO YOUR MOPING, OKAY?
AT: i DON’T KNOW IF I WANT TO MOPE ANYMORE,
AT: aLTHOUGH I THINK THAT I STILL WANT TO THINK FOR A LITTLE BIT,
AT: aND ALSO TO SAY THANK YOU FOR LISTENING,
CG: OH NO YOU DON’T.
CG: DON’T YOU TURN INTO A BLUBBERING PANSY ON ME RIGHT NOW.
CG: WE HAVE A JOB TO DO HERE.
CG: YOUR JOB IS TO GET OVER YOURSELF AS SOON AS POSSIBLE
CG: AND MY JOB IS TO GO FIND TEREZI I GUESS.
And that left precisely one subordinate left to find. Naturally it was the wiliest one. If Terezi did not want to be found, no-one could find her.
Okay, no, that was a lie. Terezi actually left more of a trail behind herself than anyone else. You could track her down anywhere by the trail of shitty chalk drawing and freshly executed plushies. It took about ten minutes for Karkat to track her to one of the abandoned labs.
View Conversation:
GC: H3Y TH3R3!
GC: TO WH4T DO 1 OW3 TH3 PL34SUR3 OF TH1S V1S1T?
CG: I’M HERE TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE STAYS IN LINE AND DOES THE JOB THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO.
GC: OH, 1 G3T 1T!
GC: K4N4Y4 ROP3D YOU 1NTO M4K1NG SUR3 3V3RYON3 W4S ST4Y1NG ON H3R PR3C1OUS SCH3DULE! >:)
CG: NO-ONE’S ROPED ME INTO ANYTHING.
CG: I AM THE LEADER HERE.
CG: AND THAT MAKES ALL SCHEDULES MINE, REGARDLESS OF WHO I GET TO MAKE THEM.
GC: OF COURS3 1T DO3S!
GC: WH1CH 1 GU3SS 3XPL41NS WHY YOU 4RE H3R3 NOW.
GC: RUNN1NG 3RRANDS.
GC: (1T DO3SN’T 4CTU4LLY 3XPL41N TH4T 4T 4LL!)
CG: I DON’T KNOW WHY I BOTHER, REALLY.
CG: IT’S NOT LIKE ANYTHING YOU DO COULD EVER BE USEFUL TO THE MISSION ANYWAY.
GC: K4RK4T! SUCH D1STRUST! >:o
GC: 1 4M 1NSULT3D!
GC: FOR YOUR 1NFORM4T1ON, OH GRUMPY L34D3R, 1 4M H3R3 R1GHT NOW ON A S3CR3T M1SS1ON!
CG: A SECRET MISSION? IS THAT SO?
CG: AND JUST WHAT WOULD THIS SO-CALLED SECRET MISSION HAPPEN TO INVOLVE?
GC: TH4T...
CG: YES?
GC: 1S...
CG: YES? I’M LISTENING
GC: 4 S3CR3ET! >:)
CG: GOODDAMN IT, TEREZI!
CG: YOU ARE GOING TO TELL ME WHAT YOU’RE DOING HERE RIGHT NOW!
GC: F1N3, M1ST3R SN1PPY-P4NTS.
GC: 1F YOU MUST KNOW, 1 4M S34RCH1NG FOR SOPOR SL1M3.
CG: THAT’S BULLSHIT. THERE’S NO MORE SOPOR SLIME.
CG: IF THERE WAS SOPOR SLIME HERE, WE WOULD DUPLICATE IT AND FEED SOME TO GAMZEE AND HE WOULDN’T GO CRAZY.
CG: AND SINCE HE DOES GO CRAZY, CLEARLY THIS HUNT OF YOURS IS GOING TO AMOUNT OF NOTHING.
GC: YOU C4N S4Y WH4T YOU W4NT, BUT TH3R3 1S ST1LL SOPOR SLIME ABOARD THIS M3T3OR.
CG: AND HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT, HUH?
GC: 1 C4N SM3LL 1T, K4RKL3S!
GC: YOU C4N FOOL TH3 3Y3, BUT THE NOS3 KNOWS!
CG: WAIT, SERIOUSLY?
CG: YOU CAN SMELL THE SLIME?
GC: Y3S!
GC: TH3R3FOR3, 1 W1LL CL34RLY F1ND 1T JUST 1N TH3 N1CK OF T1M3!
GC: 4ND M4K3 MY D4R1NG 3SC4P3 FROM G4MZ33!
CG: OR GET CAUGHT BY HIM AND HAVE YOUR HEAD BLOWN OPEN.
CG: YOU DON’T KNOW BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T BEEN CHECKING ON YOUR FUTURE SELF EITHER.
GC: OF COURS3 1 H4V3N’T!
GC: WH4T K1ND OF L1F3 WOULD 1 H4V3 1F 4LL 1 D1D W4S S33 WH4T 1 W4S GO1NG TO DO 1N TH3 FUTUR3?
GC: NOT A V3RY PROP3R K1ND OF L1F3 4T 4LL, TH4T’S FOR SUR3!
CG: YEAH, NO, SCREW THAT.
CG: IF YOU’RE GOING TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS, I’M STAYING WITH YOU.
GC: WHY K4RK4T! 1 D1DN’T KNOW YOU C4R3D!
GC: 4ND WH4T 4BOUT YOUR L34D3RSH1P ROL3?
GC: 4R3N’T YOU M34NT TO BE SC4MP3R1NG 4ROUND 4ND POK1NG 3V3RYON3?
CG: THREE WORDS, TEREZI:
CG: FUCK.
CG: THAT.
CG: SHIT.
CG: NOW LET’S GO!
GC: >:D
Last edited by SeptimusMagistos; 02-04-2011 at 06:58 PM.
Trees and Tentacles- Bro's insomnia leads to inspired art and a little brotherly bonding time.
Undone- Dave tries to see his brother one last time.
Supermarket Shenanigans- in an early installment of the Striders, Bro looses Dave in a store. Cue panic.
My House- Dave butts heads with a lady friend of his brother's.
Binary- Bro's life and death are simple and convoluted affairs.
Climb- a brief look at where Bro is after he rocketboards off the roof.
Key- Bro teaches Dave the key behind being an ironic roof rapping ninja.
Parenthood- What Bro had to go through to make Dave what he is.
Parental Guidance- Parent teacher conferences are never fun for anyone involved.
Of Bathrooms and Beatdowns- The Striders' early morning rituals turn into unpleasant experiences at a party bro dj's at; aka roofies are never okay.
The Two of Us Are Dying- Bro has dreamt of his death sporadically for the past 13 years. Fallout.
Rap Battle!- One of the brothers' many sylladex hashrap battles. Chaos ensues.
If Illness was This One- Bro Strider is sick. Dave is not happy. The pumpkin shows up. [what pumpkin?]
Puppets and Porn- Bro Strider runs a faux/real puppet pr0n website from his home. With a minor in it. Of course someone was going to be totally not cool about it.
Puppet Porn pt II- Child protective services get called. Shit gets real. THE APARTMENT IS CLEAN OMGOMGOMGOMG
Voyeur- Jack Noir watches as Bro dies at his feet.
Surprise!- Dave wakes up on his birthday to the usual Strider shenanigans.
When "Puppets" Go Bad- Dave watches a clip of a video on Bro's computer of what looks to be a puppet trying to kill him in his sleep. Though, that's not quite the case.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Ugh, Graven, now you've made me want to write a Futurama Sburb fic. It's a good thing I'm not in a writing mood, because I went as far as outlining it before I stopped.
Scene 1: The Professor introduces the game in a memo, knowing and even saying full well that it's going to destroy the universe. When Bender asks if he can put Killbots in his sprite, Farnsworth replies "Oh my, yes... the possibilities for worldbuilding are endless... and you'll be killed by each and every one of them!"
Scene 2: Fry, Leela and Amy meet on Prospit and discuss what Leela thinks is a cruel joke at her expense over being named seer. Fry discusses Bender's repeat, ineffectual and Rube Goldbergian suicide attempts to reach God Tier even though robots don't have dreamselves.
Scene 3: Scruffy the Janitor is Trolled by Homer Simpson, leading to the most intellectually stimulating conversation ever recorded. Homer eventually copy and pastes some text from Lisa that imply that the Futurama cast have ruined the one and only attempt they'll get at a God Tier.
Scene 4: We cut to the Land of Hypnotoads and Brainslugs (Despite the Professor's warnings in Scene 1 not to prototype any "stale running gags"), where the Heir of Hope (Zoidberg) is wandering around holding polite conversation with the imps and Consorts, all of which have hypnotised or brain wiped one another, and talking about how wonderful it is to be God ("And then I died, even!") of such a polite world where everyone listens to him all the time.
Last edited by SkaianRedeemer; 02-04-2011 at 05:06 PM.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Alright second segment of this fanfiction I'm doing. This time from John's POV.
There is some duplicate dialog due to being in the same time frame as Deserve.
You do not have to read Deserve to understand Innocence that I'm aware. Due to this it means Vriska is in this part as much as the last, but in different ways (John IS the focus here).
If anyone sees any glaring issues with this part, could you contact me via PM? I've only slept about 8 hours in the past 3 days due to medical issues and I may have let something slip.
Please enjoy .
Authors note pre story (no spoilers)
If you read the prior story you may notice some discrepancies it is mostly to POV, and how someone will notice things about you you don't. EX: Habitual motions you take when you talk that you don't notice, but someone else might.
It was very hard trying to figure out what would make John lose his innocence, but still keep it in his own way.
Getting angry at Vriska was a thing I felt had to happen, and it had to be with a feeling that John's friends were threatened by her presence.
Realizing things are not always as they appear, and also that the game they are playing is not some child's thing I felt was necessary as well.
In the dream when he becomes an adult, it was a bit rough deciding how he would think. He is still a thirteen year old. His dream is clouding his thoughts with how he perceives an adult should be. So all the "herp pretty girl" stuff is probably things already in the back of his mind, but he feels as an adult he doesn't have to suppress it as much since its not "wrong"
It is why when the dream is over he is still not sure he "loves" Vriska.
He just knows she is someone he doesn't want to lose and cares about despite everything she's done because he knows she has a kind heart under that rough exterior.
AKA he's still a confused hormonal teenager, we all remember being that right?
Vriska on the other hand, you may have noticed had little change during the dream shift. This is because to a troll, they are already adults - they have to think of death before they are out of the brooding caverns, and there is an urgency to think of romance due to the imperial drones.
I wanted to make perfectly clear, Vriska is still a killer. John knows this as well. Thinking of a way to bring the others back is to him a way for Vriska to find redemption, not to take away the blame.
Long exposition is long.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by Sionnan
@eB: x_x I might need to be your moirail to stop you from inflicting whatever horrors you want to perpetuate on them.
:O
Wow, I never considered our relationship this way! And I was sorta pining for Almost Human in the pale quadrant. But now that you say it...I'm totally down with this!
But it will take a heavy helping of sacharine striderfic to make me start writing cute things again and/or change my avatar back from Cliff Burton >:|
(I hope you nobody minds the forging of moiraillegeances in this thread)
(also how do you even spell that)
@Path: I really don't ship Slick/Sleuth. But the way you do it, and unf the Midnight Crew, it all fits so perfectly. So hardboiled.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
All these awesome hard-boiled fan-fics...
Too bad I have to be a C-C-COMBO BREAKER (at least, when I started typing this into the reply box...) with the finale to the Murder Mystery (which I guess will be the title of the whole series, unless someone can come up with a better name...)
And PART 8 is linked as this exact quote, for both of our convienence...
This outer quote links to Part 9 (and a recap.)
Here goes part 10...
The Sacrifices
You sure you wanna read this? The first words spoken will reveal Terezi's culprit...
You ready?...
"T4VROS N1TR4M, YOUR K1LL1NG D4YS 4R3 UP!"
Tavros whirled around from the computer he had taken to his respiteblock.
"M4YB3 1 SHOULD'V3 3XP3CT3D TH4T TH3 ON3 WHO W4S 4LW4Y-"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Terezi jolted to a stop.
She quickly grew annoyed that he would interrupt.
After all, she was giving her crime-solving speech!
Oh, of course... Criminals don't like having their flaws pointed out to them...
"I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOU, ALWAYS PUSHING ME AROUND!"
Terezi wanted to correct him; to tell him that that was more of Vriska's thing...
But she was too stunned by his sudden confidence.
"I'M TIRED OF ALL OF YOU PUSHING ME AROUND! I'M NOT JUST, uHH..."
Tavros faltered a bit.
Terezi realized that he had been glaring at her within a few feet of her face... Or at least, he had been doing so.
Now he was stepping away, as he seemed to slip back into his usual, faltering voice...
"wELL, uHH... yOU KNOW HOW ANNOYING IT IS OR IS NOT, oR, uHH..."
Tavros seemed to be confusing himself. He stepped back towards his computer.
Terezi remembered what she was there for.
"YOU 4R3 UND3R 4RR3ST, M1ST3R N1TR4M!"
Producing a length of rope, Terezi approached Tavros to bind his hands.
Tavros growled.
"TEREZI, YOU MORON! I'M NOT THE, uHH... tHE... tHE KILLER! oKAY! I'M NOT THE KILLER! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THIS BULLSHIT THAT YOU ALL KEEP FORCING ON ME!"
As Terezi approached Tavros, seemingly undettered, she also produced her cane from her Strife Specibus.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
@Skaian- if you finish that you will ascend to immortality. You'll just fully bypass God-Tier. Straight to preservation in the depths of the internet catacombs (and my computer.)
Better stretch my legs... Sure has been a while. twigwise.tumblr Steam Powered Fanmily Member
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by Kerensky287
Next fic in the series by the way is going to be much more grim and dark, and may or may not take place in the far future. The presence or lack of anything other than war in this far future is not something I'd like to comment on.
HEY! I'm the master of grimdark around here! No one is gonna write a fic like that without me being alright with it!
...
Ok, I'm alright with it. Continue...
Writing:
Bulletproof: Vriska is a lot more vulnerable and remorseful than anyone would suspect, she just doesn't let anyone see that. My Best Friends: Nepeta makes a sacrifice, and reflects on her life in her final moments. I Am Not Like You: The moment when you can no longer hide from your own sins is always painful. Vriska learns this when Eriden becomes her mirror.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by Kerensky287
Originally Posted by lucidSeraph
@Path: ... I'll be in my bunk.
Speaking of which.
SBURB FICS THAT NEVER WERE
II: Cowboy of Space
There have been many Incipispheres. There will be many more. But at the moment, only one concerns us.
In this Incipisphere, there are eleven planets.
Of those eleven, nine exist solely to assist a group of destined heroes in their quests for self-realization.
Until very recently, one was been shrouded in mystery; whether it had been inhabited, or in fact even existed, before this moment, was irrelevant. But what no one can argue is that now it is there, and it is inhabited.
This planet is known as the Land of Dust and Frogs. Across its vast surface, one can find great mountains, deep canyons, sparse forests, and occasionally the ponds home to the creatures that give the planet half its name.
Presently, in the exact center of a majestic plain, in sight of all these beautiful mysteries, is a man. The man sits on a rock just outside the cargo bay of what was once his beloved space ship. Now the cargo bay is all that remains, the rest stripped away for the sake of his crew.
But for once, the man is not concerned for the safety of his crew. Likewise, he is not concerned about the state of his ship. For at this moment, he is dumbstruck by the landscape surrounding him.
He looks at the mountains. He stares at the valleys. He gives the ponds a good once-over. He adjusts his long, brown coat, runs a gloved hand through his hair, and says the most eloquent thing he can think of at that moment.
"Huh."
-----
OPEN CHATLOG
CAPTAIN MALCOLM REYNOLDS: Okay, Wash, I'm in.
HOBAN "WASH" WASHBURNE: Glad to hear it, Cap'n. Sorry it took so long, I've had a lot on my hands. This plan of Kaylee's has taken some doing, but I think we've just about got it working.
MAL: S'fine. Everybody else is in, right? I'm the last one?
WASH: Yep.
MAL: Wouldn't have it any other way.
WASH: I don't think we COULD do it any other way, with respect.
MAL: So what's the status on the rest of the crew?
WASH: Well, River's doing surprisingly well on her own. Simon's worried about her, obviously, but he's got his hands full figuring out this whole "not dying" thing. Jayne's fine, Inara's fine, Zoe's fine, Kaylee's BUSY, and Book is...
MAL: Book is what?
WASH: Book is bothered.
MAL: Bothered? Bothered how?
WASH: Maybe you should speak to him yourself, Cap'n.
MAL: Will do. Good luck, Wash. Keep me posted.
WASH: We're just waiting on your section, by the way. Whenever you can...
MAL: I'll find a way to get the parts to you, yeah.
WASH: Thanks, Cap. Good luck!
--disconnected--
-----
Elsewhere...
Shepherd Derrial Book was conflicted. He had given up a life of violence and sin for dedication to the word of God, and now the only way to ensure his own survival and the survival of his crew was to take up arms all over again and gun down these harmless creatures.
Well okay, not HARMLESS. They certainly tried to harm him. They just weren't very good at it. But that made them all the more pitiable. Book couldn't bring himself to fire a single shot from his rifle when they attacked... not after the first one, at least. These creatures were so much more vulnerable, it seemed, than most other living things. He had shot one in the foot and it had exploded instantly into what apparently functioned as all-purpose building materials.
Book's mind boggled.
So the only course of action he found he could take was to keep them away from him. He fashioned defensive walls around his home base - formerly the kitchen and eating area of the ship known as Serenity - and just sat there, waiting and trying to think of another solution.
His radio gave a squawk.
-----
OPEN CHATLOG
MAL: Shepherd, what's this I hear about you bein' bothered?
BOOK: Well, Captain... have you encountered any of these "imps" yet?
MAL: Can't say I have, no. Will I?
BOOK: Everyone else has. I don't expect you'll have much difficulty with them, of course. But that's the problem I'm having.
BOOK: These are presumably LIVING CREATURES, Captain. I won't kill them if I can help it. And if I am to defend myself, I have to.
BOOK: They're too weak to survive what would otherwise be a nonlethal attack.
MAL: Well, Preacher, first priority is the safety of the crew. I'm sure you agree.
MAL: If it's between them and us, they gotta go.
BOOK: I agree, but... I truly, truly hope it won't come to that.
MAL: How about this alchemy thing? Have you tried anything interesting?
BOOK: ...Very little. Not as much as Jayne, at least. He's using all of his building materials designing new and more impressive weaponry, and that makes it very difficult to act as his server.
BOOK: One second, I think he's busy... I'm just going to put another level on his home base.
BOOK: ...Nevermind. He didn't NEED that extra floor, of course. Much better to compliment his seven-barreled machine gun with the rapid-fire harpoon pistol he just wasted all his grist on.
MAL: Well, you don't have to make weapons with this alchemy thing. Why not look for a nonlethal alternative there?
MAL: You're a smart man, Preacher.
MAL: Smart at it.
BOOK: Well put, Captain.
BOOK: I'll do my best. Thank you.
--disconnected--
Bible && Machine Gun == "Bible Belt-fed"
-A high-powered, blessed machine gun. Perfect for vampire hunting!
"...Not quite what I was looking for."
Bible || Machine Gun == "Book'em Danno"
-Imagine a novel, but with every page replaced with high-calibre weaponry. The swiss army knife of modern combat.
"Still no."
Bible && Crucifix == "Redundant Redundancy"
-Your bible has been improved with pop-up pictures and a soundtrack provided by none other than Morgan Freeman, reprising his role as God for the first time since Evan Almighty!
"...I'll hold onto this. River might enjoy it. But... wait a minute."
Redundant Redundancy && Book'em Danno == "Give 'em Grief"
-A pop-up book that shoots pop-up books. Excellent as a distraction, a way to fill up space, or just to bug people!
"Not bad. Not bad at all. I'll take several."
-----
OPEN CHATLOG
SIMON TAM: Shepherd... what did you do to the kitchen?
SIMON: Is that... are those imps in that pile of pop-up books?
SIMON: Oh go se, why are the piles GROWING?
BOOK: Watch your language, young man.
BOOK: You should really follow your sister's example.
SIMON: Oh, so you'd like me to make YOUR little castle non-euclidean, too?
SIMON: I was under the impression you would've liked to look around without vomiting.
BOOK: Vomiting? I'm surprised at you, Simon!
BOOK: You should really be supporting your sister's artistic habits.
BOOK: Now if you'll excuse me, I apparently have a chance to explore now. I'm going to take a look around.
--disconnected--
-----
OPEN CHATLOG
MAL: And the code for the last piece is...
MAL: 234hjlk3.
KAYWINNET LEE FRY: You'll want to put that one in real careful, Wash! It's a bit fussy.
WASH: Oh, please, Kaylee! I know this ship like the back of my hand!
WASH: ...And thankfully I can always make another part if I make a mistake.
WASH: Liiiike I just did. One second.
WASH: And there we are! Good as new!
WASH: Chair's a little stiff, I guess, but that's probably because it needs to be broken in.
WASH: I'm so excited, you wouldn't BELIEVE it.
WASH: Anything left to say before I give 'er a test run?
MAL: Nope. Have fun, Wash!
And with that, Wash pushed a series of buttons in the cockpit of the rebuilt Serenity.
The engines started turning and she came to life once more.
REOPEN CHATLOG
KAYLEE: Now you be careful with her! Don't want to have to rebuild her again, do we?
MAL: And she's still MY ship! Make your way over here once you pick everyone else up!
MAL: We've come this far as a team. May as well end it that way.
WASH: Sure thing, Mal. I'll see you soon.
WASH: And don't worry, Kaylee.
WASH: I'm a leaf on the wind.
WASH: Watch me--- HRK
MAL: Wash? WASH!
---WASH has been speared through the chest!---
KAYLEE: Oh gawd! WASH!
MAL: Wash! No, no, no, no, no...
Luckily, River Tam had had the foresight to alchemize the pilot seat of the Serenity with Wash's QUEST BED, creating a QUEST CHAIR. She put it in place when no one was looking. Wash promptly awoke as the Pilot of Breath, and then he did the Leaf On The Windy Thing right over to Prospit, where his wife Zoe's dreamself was resting. Wash woke her up (her dreamself I mean, because her realself had to go to sleep for that) AND THEN THEY PORKED
Comments
My headcanon is that this is how the Serenity movie actually ended. Also? Book died on his QUEST AA GUN, awakening as the Cardinal of Hope.
Next fic in the series by the way is going to be much more grim and dark, and may or may not take place in the far future. The presence or lack of anything other than war in this far future is not something I'd like to comment on.