MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands

[Rimbaum]

i was going to write a brief homestuck/vtm: bloodlines crossover, but it was the most secret of all my shames.

maybe now i will.

I DEMAND A MALKAVIAN IN THERE. DEMAND IT.

[KarneWarrior]

My favourite fictional vampire is Mitchell from Being Human :3

Mine is Otto from Discworld.

Oh that reminds me. Someone really should write a discworld/homestuck crossover.

I sort of made one where Vriska was slaughtering Dromes, if that counts.

In case it wasn't clear Tiffany Aching is my favorite character from Discworld. Actually pretty damn close to Bean, who has his own cottage in my mental mountain range. He's neighbors with Drizzt.

They drink a extraordinary amount of Coffee.

[SkaianRedeemer]

i was going to write a brief homestuck/vtm: bloodlines crossover, but it was the most secret of all my shames.

maybe now i will.

I DEMAND A MALKAVIAN IN THERE. DEMAND IT.

TC: tHaT iS fUcKiNg WhAcK mY bRoMiDe
GA: Gamzee... What Are You Doing?
TC: sUp BrO? i WaS jUsT tAlKiNg To ThE fUcKiNg SeNaToR.
GA: ...
Microwave: ...

[Graven_Image]

The Most Intellectually Stimulating Conversation Ever Recorded

show spoiler

hide spoiler

eatDonuts began trolling banallyLoquacious

ED: so uhh i hear its your falt were in this mess
ED: u got anything to say for yurself?
BL: Yeah.
BL: Just one thing.
BL: Bite me.
ED: now hey hey hey
ED: hey
ED: hey
ED: theres no reason to be mean about this
ED: accept for the fact that this is yor fault
BL: Do you mind?
BL: Scruffy's got himself a company to save.
ED: o yah rite you die.
ED: you all die
ED: ren said so
BL: Oh dear lord.
BL: You and Ren are in cahoots? I should have known.
BL: And let me guess, you have Griffin in on it, too.
ED: umm
ED: yes
BL: Which Griffin, dare I ask.
ED: peter and stewie and brian
ED: they though they were getting into a game of paintball
ED: but i was tooooo smart for them
BL: Ugh.
BL: Listen, pal.
BL: Scruffy may be a janitor.
BL: But Scruffy knows when a bad idea gets worse.
BL: If you really are on an asteroid with Ren and the worst of the Griffin family, you're truly a lost cause.
ED: not true
ED: stewies actually been really nice
ED: hes been helping us track down a murderer
BL: A murderer.
ED: yep!
BL: Homer, humor me for a second.
BL: Suppose Stewie Griffin, megalomaniacal infant extraordinaire, went on a killing spree.
ED: uhh
ED: i didnt understand those words in the middle but ok
BL: What do you think he would tell you if you asked him who the killer was?
ED: well
ED: i dont know but probably
ED: "not me"
BL: Uh huh.
BL: Did you ever actually ask him who the murderer was?
ED: well yeah that was my first queston
BL: And what, exactly, was his answer.
ED: well
ED: he said uhh
ED: uhhhh
BL: Mmmm hmm.
ED: D'OH!
ED: ill have to get back to you, scruffy
ED: i think my family is in danger
BL: Send Maggie my regards.
BL: Tell her Scruffy said "Thanks for the birthday present."
ED: umm
ED: ok
ED: i guess
ED: bye

eatDonuts ceased trolling banallyLoquacious

[SkaianRedeemer]

Yes Graven! And double yes for the additional crossovers!

[Twigwise]

Graven. You rock. (Also smileys yo :P )

[Rimbaum]

i was going to write a brief homestuck/vtm: bloodlines crossover, but it was the most secret of all my shames.

maybe now i will.

I DEMAND A MALKAVIAN IN THERE. DEMAND IT.

TC: tHaT iS fUcKiNg WhAcK mY bRoMiDe
GA: Gamzee... What Are You Doing?
TC: sUp BrO? i WaS jUsT tAlKiNg To ThE fUcKiNg SeNaToR.
GA: ...
Microwave: ...

Sadly, Gamzee does exhibit the qualities of a Malkavian. I CAN TOTALLY SEE THAT HAPPENING.

[Graven_Image]

Graven. You rock. (Also smileys yo :P )

What smileys? I see no smileys.

Also, yes. I do rock.

[Aerodactylus]

I now I must be totally late to the party by now but SHIT SON WE CALLED IT. THIS BOARD. TOTALLY CALLED IT.

[Graven_Image]

You're late, but that's OK.

I was late too, an hour ago.

[X15lm204]

...
Aradia - Giovanni
Tavros - Tzimisce
Sollux - Tremere
Karkat - Ventrue
Nepeta - Gangrel
Kanaya - Toreador
Terezi - Ravnos
Vriska - Lasombra
Equius - Nosferatu
Gamzee - Malkavian
Eridan - Assamite
Feferi - Brujah

And now the 2.5 people on the board who know what all those words mean will undoubtably tell me how wrong I am.

[Nox]

Vampire: The Masquerade, right?

[sarasvati]

WRONG X15

SO WRONG, FOREVER

nah i'm kidding. i'd swap a few but my turbonerd gauge is registering a zero right now.

[DJ-P0N3]

Before I procrastinate this any further
I would like to
honk
HONK
honk
DARK CARNIVAL PART 3
hoooooooonk

[slakensColin]

...
Aradia - Giovanni
Tavros - Tzimisce
Sollux - Tremere
Karkat - Ventrue
Nepeta - Gangrel
Kanaya - Toreador
Terezi - Ravnos
Vriska - Lasombra
Equius - Nosferatu
Gamzee - Malkavian
Eridan - Assamite
Feferi - Brujah

And now the 2.5 people on the board who know what all those words mean will undoubtably tell me how wrong I am.

Gamzee is right on the spot.
"No sign, YOU STOP!"

[SkaianRedeemer]

...
Aradia - Giovanni
Tavros - Tzimisce
Sollux - Tremere
Karkat - Ventrue
Nepeta - Gangrel
Kanaya - Toreador
Terezi - Ravnos
Vriska - Lasombra
Equius - Nosferatu
Gamzee - Malkavian
Eridan - Assamite
Feferi - Brujah

And now the 2.5 people on the board who know what all those words mean will undoubtably tell me how wrong I am.

Unfortunately I only know from the two PC games, so I'm not much of a good judge either! My roleplaying habits aren't very well established, though I am quite fond of Paranoia and wanted to do a crossover fic about that at one point in the past, but I couldn't come up with a plot.

[Rimbaum]

...
Aradia - Giovanni
Tavros - Tzimisce
Sollux - Tremere
Karkat - Ventrue
Nepeta - Gangrel
Kanaya - Toreador
Terezi - Ravnos
Vriska - Lasombra
Equius - Nosferatu
Gamzee - Malkavian
Eridan - Assamite
Feferi - Brujah

And now the 2.5 people on the board who know what all those words mean will undoubtably tell me how wrong I am.

So many of them fit. There's a few I wouldn't put there, but OH HELL YES TO ASSAMITE ERIDAN

[Path]

I don't agree with all of them obviously, but I do agree that Kanaya makes a lovely Toreador.

[TacticGamer]

Before I procrastinate this any further
I would like to
honk
HONK
honk
DARK CARNIVAL PART 3
hoooooooonk

I suppose Gamzee has a plan to strip Bec Noir of his powers and use him as the Dark Carnival Hoofbeast?

[DJ-P0N3]

@TacticGamer
Gamzee has no real plan.
Thus far that has been going with the flow and improv.

[Aerodactylus]

...
Aradia - Giovanni
Tavros - Tzimisce
Sollux - Tremere
Karkat - Ventrue
Nepeta - Gangrel
Kanaya - Toreador
Terezi - Ravnos
Vriska - Lasombra
Equius - Nosferatu
Gamzee - Malkavian
Eridan - Assamite
Feferi - Brujah

And now the 2.5 people on the board who know what all those words mean will undoubtably tell me how wrong I am.

Other than knowing what VTM is, I'm clueless. Care to fill me in on what they mean?

[Path]

Care to fill me in on what they mean?

This'll help a little, probably.

[Path]

I'd also love some elaboration on the implied Slick/Sleuth/Droog triangle. PLEASE DO SOMETHING FOR THAT. Or I might have to.

Hopefully I've saved you a bit of work. For now.

Note: I am extremely frightened of my headcanon Droog.


Waiting

show spoiler

hide spoiler

You watch Problem Sleuth without a word, without tiring, without losing patience. You look exactly as you always do: exquisitely dressed and completely cold. You don't feel the need for Slick's threats and posturing. You are the most dangerous person in the city, and the perceptive will know it when they see you without you telling them what you'll do to them when they step the wrong way.

You make up your mind what you will do to everyone the first moment you meet them. You have excellent judgement and a superb understanding of pain tolerance, with an instinctive knowledge of whose is where. So stepping the wrong way is truly just an excuse for you to mete out their inevitable fate. Some avoid it, it's true. They are extremely lucky.

You've seen the way he handles himself. He is wary, but not paranoid, and too caught up in his own grandeur to be truly aware. You do not rely on this, but you factor it into your considerations. He will not take you seriously at first- or rather, he will pretend to take you seriously. You will make him stop, and quickly. You have infinite patience but little tolerance.

Fingers, one by one. Tape his mouth... no, gag him. Horrible things, gags. You will wear gloves. There is no way you will touch him. If you could get Boxcars to... but no. This will be just between you and Problem Sleuth, as things used to be just you and Slick, and now are just Slick and Problem Sleuth. You find appealing symmetry in it.

You watch him passively. Unlike many people, you have the ability to hold utterly still when you wish, which is frequently. You find excessive movement a sign of weakness.

Your phone rings. It's Slick. He reminds you of your job, of the plan. You find it painful to listen to, the way he dances around where you are and what you're doing. You are here to ensure Problem Sleuth does not leave his apartment, and thus misses the extremely important business transaction going on just down the street.

Slick was so much better once. Like you. Well, not perfectly, but more so. Callous and cruel and insular, though still raving and forceful and emotional. He was an excellent foil. He was more than that, certainly. He clearly did not ascribe the same importance to your relationship as you did. No, you refuse to believe that. It cannot be correct. You and Slick were brothers, and he drew you out just as you balanced him. It was ideal.

You cannot believe it has fallen apart as it has. It is not permanent; once he's over his infatuation with Problem Sleuth (you can barely bring yourself to say that), things will return to the way they were meant to be. You cannot imagine how it got this way to begin with.

You cannot believe that Problem Sleuth, of all people, has come to replace you. He's weak. He is fragile. You can ruin him so simply. You slipped into Slick's apartment last night and stood over him while he slept, holding a dozen varieties of card. Your heart was seizing with bitter freezing hatred, cold and silent and waiting, and you stood over him as he snored there, arm thrown over Slick's shoulder. Slick mutters something in his sleep, like he always has, and your hatred pulses slightly, your grip tightening on the queen of diamonds. Fingers, one by one...

But no.

This is Slick's decision. Slick was always the boss. You always obey. That's just how it is, and you're going to show Slick that if he wants to throw away what you had, well, you will wait. At the end of the day, you will be there waiting.

And as soon as he's finished with Problem Sleuth, you will be there waiting for him, too.

[Doodled]

So, I was sad when I noticed no comments...

But then this:

The Most Intellectually Stimulating Conversation Ever Recorded

show spoiler

hide spoiler

eatDonuts began trolling banallyLoquacious

E so uhh i hear its your falt were in this mess
E u got anything to say for yurself?
BL: Yeah.
BL: Just one thing.
BL: Bite me.
E now hey hey hey
E hey
E hey
E theres no reason to be mean about this
E accept for the fact that this is yor fault
BL: Do you mind?
BL: Scruffy's got himself a company to save.
E o yah rite you die.
E you all die
E ren said so
BL: Oh dear lord.
BL: You and Ren are in cahoots? I should have known.
BL: And let me guess, you have Griffin in on it, too.
E umm
E yes
BL: Which Griffin, dare I ask.
E peter and stewie and brian
E they though they were getting into a game of paintball
E but i was tooooo smart for them
BL: Ugh.
BL: Listen, pal.
BL: Scruffy may be a janitor.
BL: But Scruffy knows when a bad idea gets worse.
BL: If you really are on an asteroid with Ren and the worst of the Griffin family, you're truly a lost cause.
E not true
E stewies actually been really nice
E hes been helping us track down a murderer
BL: A murderer.
E yep!
BL: Homer, humor me for a second.
BL: Suppose Stewie Griffin, megalomaniacal infant extraordinaire, went on a killing spree.
E uhh
E i didnt understand those words in the middle but ok
BL: What do you think he would tell you if you asked him who the killer was?
E well
E i dont know but probably
E "not me"
BL: Uh huh.
BL: Did you ever actually ask him who the murderer was?
E well yeah that was my first queston
BL: And what, exactly, was his answer.
E well
E he said uhh
E uhhhh
BL: Mmmm hmm.
E D'OH!
E ill have to get back to you, scruffy
E i think my family is in danger
BL: Send Maggie my regards.
BL: Tell her Scruffy said "Thanks for the birthday present."
E umm
E ok
E i guess
E bye

eatDonuts ceased trolling banallyLoquacious

And this:

Before I procrastinate this any further
I would like to
honk
HONK
honk
DARK CARNIVAL PART 3
hoooooooonk

You just made my day. Twice.

[Kassiopeia]

omg Path

how
how do you make them all such sexy intriguing bastards

WHAT ARE YOUR SECRETSSSSS