MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands

[DJ-P0N3]

Oh thanks for the kind words everyone.
It ended up being more adorable than I had intended, but regardless.
A win is a win.

[Doodled]

How does this thread keep growing so fast?!

HOW?!

[Kerensky287]

40k fic

I. Must. Have. More! Even though I normally hate 40k, I must have more of this!

Aww, somebody already did a 40k fic? I guess I missed it.

What page is it on? I need to know so I can do mine differently somewhat. :/

[draconicAlgorithm]

How does this thread keep growing so fast?!

HOW?!

Miracles, man.

mOtHeRfUcKiNg MiRaClEs

[Jim Groovester]

Took a break from Sapphire of Alternia to write this. I had to get it out of my head.

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The redblood stood before the violetblood, shackled. His sickle laid on the floor next to him. He had been disarmed, and guards were keeping him in check with their weapons.

The palace walls were painted with rainbow colors. The redblood’s fight had taken him to the throne room itself. Only through sheer luck had the violetblood subdued him, as the royal guards had fallen nigh instantly in the battle. Only now, after the melee, did more enter the throne room and start cleaning up the gore.

She fumed, pacing back and forth in front of him. “Never before has there been a more rebellious threshecutioner.”

“Never a more dangerous one either.”

She spat on his face. “Your caste is the lowest of the low. What makes you think you belong there?” She said as she pointed at the throne.

“I don’t give a shit about my blood color.” He said. “I belong there because you’re a terrible leader.”

“And you think you can do better?”

“I know I can do better. I didn’t get here on my own.”

The violetblood glared.

“Did you really think your blood color gave you the authority to command all trolls?” He shook his head. “No, that right belongs to the troll who can take it. That troll is me. I think I proved it just now.” He gives a small grin. “That I’m from the lowest caste imaginable just makes it a terrific insult.”

“You’ve proven nothing because your coup has failed. You are in shackles, about to be executed.”

“Maybe.” He said. “But, honestly, how much longer do you think you’re going to last, with a peasant blood thresecutioner getting all the way to steps of the throne?”

The violetblood stopped in fright. “Guards.” She called. “It’s time.”

Guards grabbed the redblood by the shoulders and forced him onto his knees. The violetblood grabbed her double-headed trident.

“Make it quick.” The redblood said.

“I grant your request.” The violetblood said as she jammed the double-headed trident into the redblood’s neck. He toppled over, adding bright red blood to the mix on the floor.

The violetblood looked at her guards. “I have a new proclamation. All trolls with this, this,” She said in disgust. “This abominable blood color are to be executed. Bright red blood will be removed from the hemospectrum and all who carry it will be culled. They will be branded mutants, so that they may never threaten the throne again.” She said boldly and confidently to cover up her fright.

The guards nodded their assent and carried on with their work. The redblood’s determination and skill, and even leadership. They were indeed impressive. Blood color did not help her or her guards in the fight with the redblood. Perhaps... no.

The violetblood returned to her chambers in thought.

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If only there was some sort of interesting explanation for why bright red is a mutant blood color. Seems a bit arbitrary, doesn't it?

I can do a better author's note than that.

This came about when somebody on another forum I frequent wondered about Karkat's ancestor and how awful it would have been for him. I decided to make Karkat's ancestor as awesome as I could think of. Being so deadly that his blood color was outlawed and declared mutant, I think, is perfect.

Time to get back to the Sapphire of Alternia.

Path, SkaianRedeemer, you guys are the best.

[Miss Prince]

@Skaian: I found it very easy to follow! Relationships as political maneuvering, auspiticing being rewarding for a sense of dominance... yeah, I can follow that just fine! Also liked the conversation about Sollux and Karkat being friends and not moirails; it's in line with what you've established for this universe, and a good way to bring the whole "trolls don't really have friends" point up again.

Only thing that bothered me was this line:

GA: And The Princess Was More Willing To Account For Us Than For Using Us To Gather Allies

It seems sort of garbled and doesn't make much sense. I can tell it's an introduction into the topic of political romance, but I'm not exactly sure what you were trying to say.

I'm excited to read more!

[anonymousComrade]

How have I not commented on Jim's stuff yet.

Don't read my bullshit, this guy blows all my stuff out of the water to such a ridiculous degree

Every time Jim posts with a new Problem Sleuth story, I know I am in for good times

[Graven_Image]

Man, I didn't used to write drabbles. But this is drabbly beyond belief.

Forebears

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Mindfang was nothing if not patient.

She reclined on the deck of the starship, among the remnants of the Dersite cowards fleeing the destruction of their homeworld.

Sunbathing.

The great Marquise was using the lingering explosion to work on her tan.

"You know, Spin, if you're not gonna take this 'ancestors' thing seriously, you could at least help us man the guns."

She lifted her glasses long enough to make out the source of the irate jeering.

"Oh, please, Verm. It's not like you and señor itchytrigger over there don't already have it covered."

"The name is Dualscar!"

"Bite me, tunabreath."

Two more of the imposing figures emerged from belowdecks, one carrying a datapad.

"D-> Alright, we have enough provisions to last us another half-sweep, if we're very conservative"

He looked at Mindfang.

"D-> What is she doing"

":33{ I dunno. Maybe she's cold?"

"The two of you can shut it. I haven't been near a decent sun in weeks, and I'm not letting a chance like this by."

"D-> You are taking advantage of the demise of millions to enhance your skin tone"

"Look, Keratin, I don't think she's gonna budge. She's been laying there for eight minutes already."

"D-> I know this is probably a doomed line of discussion, but it's the principle of the thing"

"Look, are the engines prepped or not?"

":33{ Yep! We're all ready to go save these kids that are apparently so important."

"About time, too. I've been gettin' velts from aimin' this turret for so long."

"Pretty sure those are from your self-flagellation, Orphy."

"Oh vill you shut up!"

OPEN PESTERLOG

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corruptedGenepool began trolling carcinoGeneticist

CG: hey there, kid.
CG: ...THE HECK?
CG: WHO ARE YOU?
CG: well, if my sources are to be believed...
CG: i'm the answer to all your prayers.

[SkaianRedeemer]

@CeruleanTresses: Thanks! I just hope everyone else follows too!

@Wigmund: Why the reboot? Are you going to take another shot at the story you had started before once things are back on their feet?

@Domoz: I can only hope Karkat and his genetic donor would both have the same taste in entertainment. (Or were you actually implying that he's related to Troll Will Smith? Which would also be awesome)

@Jim Groovester: Eh, I'm willing to give bright red being "mutant" a biological pass. In fact, I think this sudden intro of Andrew's might just... but this isn't the IDE thread. All the same, always love some Troll Politics.

@Skaian: I found it very easy to follow! Relationships as political maneuvering, auspiticing being rewarding for a sense of dominance... yeah, I can follow that just fine! Also liked the conversation about Sollux and Karkat being friends and not moirails; it's in line with what you've established for this universe, and a good way to bring the whole "trolls don't really have friends" point up again.

Only thing that bothered me was this line:

GA: And The Princess Was More Willing To Account For Us Than For Using Us To Gather Allies

It seems sort of garbled and doesn't make much sense. I can tell it's an introduction into the topic of political romance, but I'm not exactly sure what you were trying to say.

I'm excited to read more!

Thanks Miss Prince, that does help. Kanaya's line should probably be... let's think here... I'll go more direct. Reformatting the lines there and about:

GA: I Suppose If Genuine They Would Have Made Useful Allies Since They Would Have Been Able To Infiltrate The Fleet Ahead Of Us
GA: But The Princess Was Willing To Account For Our Feelings When It Came To Our Personal Lives
GA: Highly Unusual Of Her But
GA: Appreciated

[morpheoMancer]

Took a break from Sapphire of Alternia to write this. I had to get it out of my head.

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The redblood stood before the violetblood, shackled. His sickle laid on the floor next to him. He had been disarmed, and guards were keeping him in check with their weapons.

The palace walls were painted with rainbow colors. The redblood’s fight had taken him to the throne room itself. Only through sheer luck had the violetblood subdued him, as the royal guards had fallen nigh instantly in the battle. Only now, after the melee, did more enter the throne room and start cleaning up the gore.

She fumed, pacing back and forth in front of him. “Never before has there been a more rebellious threshecutioner.”

“Never a more dangerous one either.”

She spat on his face. “Your caste is the lowest of the low. What makes you think you belong there?” She said as she points at the throne.

“I don’t give a shit about my blood color.” He said. “I belong there because you’re a terrible leader.”

“And you think you can do better?”

“I know I can do better. I didn’t get here on my own.”

The violetblood glared.

“Did you really think your blood color gave you the authority to command all trolls?” He shaked his head. “No, that right belongs to the troll who can take it. That troll is me. I think I proved it just now.” He gives a small grin. “That I’m from the lowest caste imaginable just makes it a terrific insult.”

“You’ve proven nothing because your coup has failed. You are in shackles, about to be executed.”

“Maybe.” He said. “But, honestly, how much longer do you think you’re going to last, with a peasant blood thresecutioner getting all the way to steps of the throne?”

The violetblood stopped in fright. “Guards.” She called. “It’s time.”

Guards grabbed the redblood by the shoulders and forced him onto his knees. The violetblood grabbed her double-headed trident.

“Make it quick.” The redblood said.

“I grant your request.” The violetblood said as she jammed the double-headed trident into the redblood’s neck. He topples over, adding bright red blood to the mix on the floor.

The violetblood looked at her guards. “I have a new proclamation. All trolls with this, this,” She said in disgust. “This abominable blood color are to be executed. Bright red blood will be removed from the hemospectrum and all who carry it will be culled. They will be branded mutants, so that they may never threaten the throne again.” She said boldly and confidently to cover up her fright.

The guards nodded their assent and carried on with their work. The redblood’s determination and skill, and even leadership. They were indeed impressive. Blood color did not help her or her gaurds in the fight with the redblood. Perhaps... no.

The violetblood returned to her chambers in thought.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

If only there was some sort of interesting explanation for why bright red is a mutant blood color. Seems a bit arbitrary, doesn't it?

I can do a better author's note than that.

This came about when somebody on another forum I frequent wondered about Karkat's ancestor and how awful it would have been for him. I decided to make Karkat's ancestor as awesome as I could think of. Being so deadly that his blood color was outlawed and declared mutant, I think, is perfect.

Time to get back to the Sapphire of Alternia.

Path, SkaianRedeemer, you guys are the best.

Man, I didn't used to write drabbles. But this is drabbly beyond belief.

Forebears

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hide spoiler

Mindfang was nothing if not patient.

She reclined on the deck of the starship, among the remnants of the Dersite cowards fleeing the destruction of their homeworld.

Sunbathing.

The great Marquise was using the lingering explosion to work on her tan.

"You know, Spin, if you're not gonna take this 'ancestors' thing seriously, you could at least help us man the guns."

She lifted her glasses long enough to make out the source of the irate jeering.

"Oh, please, Verm. It's not like you and señor itchytrigger over there don't already have it covered."

"The name is Dualscar!"

"Bite me, tunabreath."

Two more of the imposing figures emerged from belowdecks, one carrying a datapad.

"D-> Alright, we have enough provisions to last us another half-sweep, if we're very conservative"

He looked at Mindfang.

"D-> What is she doing"

":33{ I dunno. Maybe she's cold?"

"The two of you can shut it. I haven't been near a decent sun in weeks, and I'm not letting a chance like this by."

"D-> You are taking advantage of the demise of millions to enhance your skin tone"

"Look, Keratin, I don't think she's gonna budge. She's been laying there for eight minutes already."

"D-> I know this is probably a doomed line of discussion, but it's the principle of the thing"

"Look, are the engines prepped or not?"

":33{ Yep! We're all ready to go save these kids that are apparently so important."

"About time, too. I've been gettin' velts from aimin' this turret for so long."

"Pretty sure those are from your self-flagellation, Orphy."

"Oh vill you shut up!"

OPEN PESTERLOG

show spoiler

hide spoiler

corruptedGenepool began trolling carcinoGeneticist

CG: hey there, kid.
CG: ...THE HECK?
CG: WHO ARE YOU?
CG: well, if my sources are to be believed...
CG: i'm the answer to all your prayers.

Omigod
I'm torn between headcanons
these are both so amazing!

[ceruleanTresses]

I made another silly thing.
(I don't even like Cats that much honestly, but I couldn't get this idea out of my head. Though I wouldn't be surprised if it's been done.)

The Spider8itch

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tHE sPIDER8ITCH, iS A MYSTERY TROLL, wHOM FEW CAN CLAIM THEY SAW,
FOR SH3S 4 M4ST3R CR1M1N4L WHO C4N D3FY TH3 L4W
S)(e's the BAFFL---EMENT of all the courts, His Tyranny's despair!
For When They Reach The Scene Of Crime
The Spider8bitch 8'nt there!

the 2piider8iitch, the 2piider8iitch, there'2 no one liike the 2piider8iitch.
SH3S BROK3N 34CH 4LT3RN14N L4W, 34CH H31ST GO3S OFF W1THOUGH A H1TCH
Her Skill At Manipul8ion Would Make Terezi Stare
AND WHEN YOU REACH THE SCENE OF CRIME,
The Spider8bitch 8'nt there!

y0u may seek her in the medium, y0u may l00k up in the air
but ii tell you twiice and twiice agaiin:
The Spider8bitch 8'nt there!

D--> The Spider8itch is a blue-b100d troll; it's said that she can fly
You Would Know Her If You Saw Her By Her Seven-Pupilled Eye
hER FACE, iS MARKED BY A VICIOUS GRIN, hER LIPS ARE ICY COLD,
and iif you fiind her beautiiful, you're already controlled.

:33 < she rolls her dice from side to side and makes the meowntains shake
and wwhen you think shes half asleep, shes alwways wwide awwake

THE SPIDER8ITCH, THE SPIDER8ITCH, THERE'S NO ONE LIKE THE SPIDER8ITCH.
:33 < she'll have you leaping off a cliff, in the span of a whisker-twitch!
YoU mAy MeEt HeR dOwN iN lOmAt, AnD aPpRoAcH hEr If YoU dArE,
BUT WH3N 4 CR1M3S D1SCOV3R3D THEN
The Spider8bitch 8'nt there!

D--> She's really quite despicable
i KNOW, sHE CHEATS, aT FLARP,

But t)(at's somet)(ing s)(e won't confess, )(owever muc)( you carp!
and wwhen a vvictims looted or a sunken ship is rifled
D--> Or when the milk is missing or another lowb100d stifled
WH3N 4LL14NC3S 4R3 BROK3N AND OLD FR13NDSH1PS P4ST R3P41R
ThErE's ThE mIrAcLe Of tHe ThInG:
The Spider8bitch 8'nt there!

T)(e Spider8itc)(, t)(e Spider8itc)(, t)(ere's no one like t)(e Spider8itc)(!
sHE'LL TAKE WHAT DIGNITY YOU'VE GOT, aND LEAVE YOU LYING IN A DITCH,
Y3T 4LW4YS H4S 4N 4L1B1, 4ND ON3 OR TWO TO SP4RE
whatever time the deed t00k place
The Spider8itch wasn't there!

AND THEY SAY THAT ALL THE VILLAINS WHO'VE SPREAD BLOODSHED NEAR AND FAR--
I Might Mention Our Last Empress I Might Mention Jack Noir--
are n0thing m0re than agents f0r the tr0ll wh0 all the time
HAS CONTROLL3D TH3 OP3R4T1ONS OF 4N 3MP1R3 OF CR1M3

The Spider8itch The Spider8itch Theres No One Like The Spider8itch
2he's a fiiend iin trollii2h 2hape, 2he loves two murder and bewiitch.
D--> You may meet her when she wills it, though I urge you to beware
but when a crimes disc0vered then the spider8itch
The Spider8itch
TH3 SP1D3R8ITCH
tHE sPIDER8ITCH,

When a crime's discovered, then,
The Spider8itch 8'nt there!!!!!!!!

Some of the syllables are a bit wonky (for instance, you have to pronounce Noir like it's two syllables), but overall I am reasonably happy with this.

Link to the original song.

Edit: QUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRKS! *shakes fist*
Edit the Second: COLORTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGS! (again)


Also, Jim Groovester, that was some badass fic right there. Karkattius (I will call him that forever) was kickass, and I loved his dynamic with Feferencestor.

[Wigmund]

@Wigmund: Why the reboot? Are you going to take another shot at the story you had started before once things are back on their feet?

Too many ideas and concepts changing as I spent time away from my old fics :/
I couldn't get back in the right frame of mind to write more for those series, I hate that.

[Jim Groovester]

@anonymousComrade: Thanks for the praise, but you don't give yourself enough credit. Everything you've wrote I liked. The self imposed challenge was especially good.

@SkaianRedeemer: Eh, oh well. Maybe Karkat's blood is mutant, maybe it's political (probably mutant). I'm just making shit up I think is cool.

@morpheoMancer: Ooh, ooh, Pick mine! There's no special reason why I think you should pick mine, other than that it's mine.

[Aerodactylus]

Holy shit guys, EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING is awesome.

@Wigmund: That reboot is the fucking cutest thing ever. These updates have made me ship John/Vriska like burning.

@morpheoMancer: YOU ARE MY FAVORITE PERSON ON THE ENTIRE PLANET.

@draconicAlgorithm: Wizardstuck continues to be amazing. I'm waiting for some kind of humiliation conga for Malfoy when he tries to intimidate the trolls. And possibly some pithy lines from Ron about Vriska. And just...everything.

Keep rocking, guys!

[SkaianRedeemer]

@Wigmund: Why the reboot? Are you going to take another shot at the story you had started before once things are back on their feet?

Too many ideas and concepts changing as I spent time away from my old fics :/
I couldn't get back in the right frame of mind to write more for those series, I hate that.

Ugh, hate when that happens so much.

@Jim Groovester: The coolest!

[quantumCopycat]

Karkat as Marius makes me weep tears of joy.

These are such good character matchups, I am in awe.

[ceruleanTresses]

Karkat as Marius makes me weep tears of joy.

These are such good character matchups, I am in awe.

Aaaaah thank you! But just wait till I write "EMPTY CHAIRS AND EMPTY HUSKTOPS" or whatever I end up calling it. Suddenly your tears of joy will be black tears of liquid sorrow.
(I probably won't even have to change the lyrics much.)

Also, Jadsette has a castle on a cloud. She likes to go there when she sleeps.

[penguinbound]

Will to Survive
Chapter 1: Preparation

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OPEN PESTERLOG:

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cG: OKAY, SINCE APPARENTLY I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO'S NOT TOO FUCKING TIRED TO EVEN TYPE, I'M GOING TO ACTUALLY START SAYING THIS.
cG: THERE'S A LOT OF USELESS RAMBLING UP ABOVE, NOTHING YOU NEED TO READ.
cG: ANYWAY, THIS IS END GAME. THE BLACK KING IS WAITING, AND WE'VE GOT TO GET IN THERE AND KICK HIS ASS.
cG: BUT WE CAN'T DO THAT WHEN WE'RE RESTING.
cG: I HOPE YOU SEE WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS.
cG: YOU GUYS NEED TO GET YOUR SHIT IN GEAR, ALRIGHT? WE'VE GOT THE BEST EQUIPMENT, THE HIGHEST LEVELS ON THE ECHELADDER.
cG: OKAY, NOT ALL OF US HAVE GOD TIER. BUT FUCK THAT.
cG: WE'RE STRONG ENOUGH, HELL, EVEN TAVROS MADE IT HERE, THAT SHOULD SAY SOMETHING.
cG: WE NEED TO STAND THE FUCK UP,
cG: GRAB OUR WEAPONS,
cG: TAKE A DEEP BREATH,
cG: AND GO STAB THE HELL OUT OF SOME GIANT FUCKFACE.
cG: IS ANYBODY ELSE WITH ME?
cG: THE ANSWER IS YES, YOU HAVE NO SAY IN THE MATTER.
cG: WELL, THEN.
cG: I JUST HAVE TO SAY THAT, FOR ONCE, I'M NOT ANGRY ENOUGH TO SAY THAT,
cG: FUCK YES, WE CAN DO THIS.
cG: SO, I HOPE YOU GUYS ARE READING THIS.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] closed the memo

I turn off Trollian, and sigh. I cast a glance at the group, and they're reading something, hopefully what I wrote. I know they're tired, I'm tired too. Hell, I'm even scared. But I'm not going to admit that, knowing the shit they'd toss, and besides, I'm the leader, I can't show anything but my brave-face, and lead these guys to safety, and victory. We had worked so, so hard, and managed to reach here, and we weren't going to stop moving forward. We would beat the Black King, we would beat SGrub, and we would beat whatever we had to face after.

Trollian beeped back to life, again, and I returned my attention to the screen. Terezi. I watched as her words popped up on the screen...

OPEN PESTERLOG:

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gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
gC: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3
gC: 1 S4W YOUR SP33CH K4RK4T
gC: 1T W4S SOM3TH1NG SP3C14L 1N F4CT 1 TH1NK 1T BROUGHT 4 T34R TO MY 3Y3 >:']
gC: 1 DONT TH1NK 1 COULD H4V3 DON3 B3TT3R MYS3LF
gC: 4LR1GHT M4YB3 1 COULD H4V3 H3H3H3H3
gC: OK BUT TH4TS NOT TH3 PO1NT
gC: TH3R3 4CTU4LLY 1SNT 4 PO1NT TO TH1S R34LLY
gC: 1 JUST W4NT3D YOU TO KNOW TH4T 1 L1K3D YOUR SP33CH
gC: SO W4Y TO GO L34D3R >:]
gC: H3H3H3H3H3H3
gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
cG: YEAH, YOU BETTER HAVE LIKED THE SPEECH.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

This time, I don't turn Trollian off. It doesn't really matter either way, but now I don't need to hear that annoying pop when the screen comes back on. I swear to god, if I ever meet the troll-well, I guess it's too late for that now. I shake my head, and stand straighter, shoving my things into my sylladex. "ALRIGHT, NOOKSTAINS, ARE YOU GUYS READY YET? I'M TIRED OF WAITING, AND I'M SURE THE BLACK KING IS TOO." Vriska and Equius were already ready, which wasn't that surprising. Gamzee stumbled to his feet, chuckling as he let out a honk. Everyone stood ready, along with me. I turn around, and grunt.

"ALRIGHT, WRIGGLERS, LET'S KICK THIS SHIT INTO GEAR."

We march forth, into the hardest fight SGrub had prepared for us, with our strongest weapons in our hands, and footprints at the top of our Echeladder.

"Yes, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me.

~Troll Will Smith

Damn. Troll Will Smith sure is a poet.

Going forth towards something that will possibly, probably, kill you, willingly, is no fun. I could feel all the tension in my shoes, and they felt like weights. But, I trudged ahead, in front of the group. I can do this. We can do this. And then, Gamzee screams. We all turn our heads, and he's on the ground. "GAMZEE?"

"hAhAhAhA, oH mAn, ThAt WaS sO mOtHeRfUcKiN, lIkE, wOw," he honks, and sits up, picking a horn up from in front of him. "My FeTcH mOdUs MaN, sUcH a MoThErFuCkInG mIrAcLe!"

He picks himself up off the ground, stumbling, and honking his horn repeatedly. There goes our badass entrance. I snarl, curse words flowing out of my mouth as we continue walking, someone, probably still Gamzee, is laughing, and others are talking. Because, shit, we can't ever do something cool. Oh, fuck, it's not like it mattered. I started shaking my head, and we continued walking.
- - -
It felt like it took forever, to reach the Black King. It only took a few minutes. Everything seemed to stand still, as the behemoth of a final boss rose up, punching his fists together and roaring. Everyone, even Gamzee, got into a fighting stance. I gulped, and my breathing quickened, I wanted to run, I wanted to not be in this situation. My arm twitched, just as the first punch by the Black King was tossed. I rolled to the side, barely being scrapped by the fist. I heard a thunk, and saw Tavros roll over. I cursed, and started for him, when another punch came at me.

I rolled again, and as soon as it passed, I leapt at the hand, cutting at it with my sickle, but it didn't even seem like it hurt him. Terezi jumped, and started giving what looked like some painful drubbing, but the Black King swatted her away with a flick of his hand. Eridan and Sollux both launched lasers at him, hitting him in the chest, making it roar more. The Black King hit the ground with both of his fists, and it sent a shockwave, knocking everybody, except a few, down. Gamzee tottered on the edge of the platform, chuckling. I raised my eyebrows, and I was about to give him a verbal smack down, when I got punched directly by the King. It was like being hit with a thousand bricks.

Vriska laughed, more loudly than normal, so we all heard, and charged the King directly. She's such a dumbass. She skidded to a halt in front of him, and launched her dice, gaining multiple hits on the behemoth. The Black King swatted at her, and she dashed back, avoiding the hit. Tavros had finally gotten up, and was dashing at the King, while Nepeta leapt off of Equius' shoulder, flailing her arms, claws extended. After that, Equius ran to the monster too, and the three managed to score hits at the same time.

Gamzee's laughing got annoyingly louder. It was hard to get out of my ears, and, now that I really strained, it sounded like it hurt, almost. A sudden screech came from behind, and I saw Aradia had just damaged the Black King, and Feferi was stabbing at one of the monster's arms, keeping it at bay. I turned towards our clown friend. "HEY, ASSHOLE, MAYBE TRY HELPING, A LITTLE?" The ground was smashed on again, and everyone, except Gamzee fell down. The clown started twitching more, and more, his laughing getting more intense, maybe a little more angry, and there was some fear mixed in, now. It sent shudders down my back.

We all stood back up, shakily. This guy was tough. We were barely doing jackshit to him, and I don't know how much longer we could last. I'm sure Equius, Vriska, Aradia, too, maybe Nepeta, they could've lasted longer, but everyone else was in bad shape. And then, there was Gamzee. Not doing anything, making me angrier, and I just wanted to tear his voice box out, he was so annoying!

"ALRIGHT, LISTEN HERE, YOU BIG SACK OF SH-"

"honk."

"...WHAT?"

"HONK."

There was something different with his voice. He sounded like he was alternating between two people.

"honk. HONK. honk. HONK. honk. THE MOTHERFUCKING BARD OF RAGE HAS GOT THIS SHIT. don't even worry bro. HAHAHAHAHA." He scared me, like this. More than walking up to here, more than anything had ever scared me. He stumbled forward, giggling, his voice alternating between a softer pitch, and a darker pitch, mumbling incoherently between breaths. He stood in front of the Black King, and grinned.

"hahahahahahaha. HONK. honk. HOOOOOOOOONK."

A purple glow surrounded him, and he pulled out his clubs, giggling madly now, his mumbling louder, but still indecipherable. Then, without anyone seeing what happened, the glow was gone, and there was a big scorch mark on the Black King's chest, and it's eyes were twitching.

"...hAhAhA... dUdE... wHaT eVeN hApPeNeD?" He sounded normal again. I blinked. What. The. Fuck. Wasn't... wasn't his title just some big joke? I couldn't process this. Another screeching sound, but it wasn't Aradia. I looked up, and the Black King was freaking out, screeching in a pained voice, and in front of him, retrieving her dice, was Vriska. She had finished the Black King off.

"Hahahahahahahaha! All the scores, they're mine!"

As soon as I saw the glow of the door, I completely dropped my anger. I ignored everyone's chattering. The twelve blocked door was magnetic, and it seemed to be calling out to be. I couldn't help it, and my eyes went wide, my mouth dropping open. I took a step forward, everything hurting from the attack of the Black King. But, I didn't care. I continued on, my heart beating faster, my blood running through my veins in a faster current. I still wasn't used to being able to feel blood running through somebody. I shook my head. Now wasn't the time for that.

I was in front of the door. I could feel the others behind me. I reached out, and hesitated. This was it, we had beaten SGrub, and the ultimate prize was ours.

"GO ON, K4RK4T!"

I nodded, slowly. My hand gripped the knob, and I closed my eyes. All at once, a feeling of great dispair, like something horrible was about to happen. But, nothing did. My grip on the knob tightened. My breath came out shaky, but finally, I did it. I turned the knob. I swung the door open.

There were so many colors, and it was so amazingly beautiful.

[X15lm204]

So hey remember how I said I was going to write Who 8m I?

WHOOPS NO HIJACKED BY GAMZEE

Ringmaster of the Hive
Messieurs makara, MAKARA, and MaKaRa invite you to the COUR des MiRaClEs.

(Original Song)

This is the worst thing that I have ever done.


motherfucking mirthful messiahs, how do you meter it

[Path]

Jim, nice ficlet. I love Defiant Redblood. But then, I like most rebellion leaders etc. You did have a few typos and some trouble with tense, though, so I sort of corrected it and left it here. Sorry if that's rude, I just like to help.

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She spat on his face. “Your caste is the lowest of the low. What makes you think you belong there?” She said as she pointed at the throne.
= = =
“Did you really think your blood color gave you the authority to command all trolls?” He shook his head. “No, that right belongs to the troll who can take it. That troll is me. I think I proved it just now.” He gave a small grin. “That I’m from the lowest caste imaginable just makes it a terrific insult.”
= = =
“I grant your request.” The violetblood said as she jammed the double-headed trident into the redblood’s neck. He toppled over, adding bright red blood to the mix on the floor.
= = =
The guards nodded their assent and carried on with their work. The redblood’s determination and skill, and even leadership. They were indeed impressive. Blood color did not help her or her guards in the fight with the redblood. Perhaps... no.

If only there was some sort of interesting explanation for why bright red is a mutant blood color. Seems a bit arbitrary, doesn't it?

I hold faint hope there's some sort of genetic compatibility with the humans because of it.

Path, SkaianRedeemer, you guys are the best.

Um yaaaaaaaay

[ceruleanTresses]

So hey remember how I said I was going to write Who 8m I?

WHOOPS NO HIJACKED BY GAMZEE

Ringmaster of the Hive
Messieurs makara, MAKARA, and MaKaRa invite you to the COUR des MiRaClEs.

(Original Song)

NOTE: Somehow I seem to have posted this within a minute before AO3 went down, so until that goes up again, here it is on Google Docs.

This is the best thing that anyone has ever done.

FIXED.
OH MY GOD THIS IS SO AMAZING THAT I AM PRACTICALLY INCOHERENT. AND I'M ONLY HALFWAY THROUGH LISTENING TO IT. I HAD TO STOP TO TELL YOU HOW AWESOME IT IS.
Time to watch the rest!

AND NOW I WATCHED THE REST, AND IT WAS BRILLIANT. High!Gamzee as Madame Thenardier was just...It was just so...*Wipes a tear of joy from her right cheek*
And, and

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everybody give a honk now
ANYONE I’VE LET SURVIVE

F***ing miracles man.

[Aerodactylus]

So...I'm just gonna leave this here. Jumping on the crossover bandwagon.

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reluctantPrince [RP] opened memo on board LET’S DO IT.

RP: Alright, so. Is everybody clear how this is working?
insaneMembrane [IM] responded to memo.
IM: Yes. And, just for the record, I want it noted how INSANE I think this is.
adrenalShopaholic [AS] responded to memo.
AS: Noted. Can we please move on now and just DO this? We’ve been talking about it for hours. I’m ready for action!
IM: Oh surprise, surprise.
IM: Have you even stopped to consider how stupid this idea is?
IM: Never split the party, man.
IM: Never.
IM: Split.
IM: The party. Just saying.
xenologicalCentaur [XC] responded to memo.
XC: I am confused.
XC: I was under the impression that a party is a human ritual where many humans gather to partake of delicious food and enjoy each other’s company.
XC: Am I mistaken?
IM: *facepalm*
XC: Oh, I see! You just performed on of those human internet memes, am I correct?
XC: Meem.
XC: Meeeeeeem.
XC: Iiiinternet meeeem. Muh. Meeeeem-muh.
IM: OH MY GOD. WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT. WE ARE TYPING. THERE IS NO NEED TO PLAY WITH SOUNDS THAT DO NOT EXIST.
critterCaretaker [CC] responded to memo.
CC: Settle down, everyone! Especially you, IM.
IM: Sorry. I’m just a little stressed, I guess.
AS: From what? This plan rocks.
RP: We all agreed that splitting into two teams was the most efficient way to clear the worlds and get to our respective gates.
IM: No, YOU did. I still think it’s an awful idea. Oh, and I want this on the record too, you put me on the team with HIM.
RP: Well, someone has to be.
thermalRider [TR] responded to memo.
TR: Don’t worry about it, man. You’ve got me and BG to back you up!
IM: Great. The moody one and the alien. Fantastic.
barkeatingGenius [BG] responded to memo.
BG: you dshoiuld nmot wortry so myuch im
BG: hew ill be lkittrle rtouble ni teh meidum
TR: Whoa, BG, what’s up with your text? You having trouble with the English alphabet?
BG: noi it ids tihs ciomupter i alchgemiuzesd
BG: claqws adn kewyboasrds do not go togfetehr so wdsell
BG: i wol hazve to crerate somnethign styrdire adn mre uiser friend;y wehn w get morw groist
TR: Ah. Alrighty then.
RP: So everyone got it? We’ll split into two teams of four.
RP: Team one is me, CC, AS, and XC
RP: Team two is IM, BG, TR, and GC
AS: Yes, we get it. Now let’s go!
galaxyConqueror [GC] responded to memo.
GC: FOOLS! WHEN I ESCAPE THIS PRIMITIVE HUMAN GAME CONSTRUCT I WILL CRUSH YOU ALL!
RP banned GC from responding to memo.
RP: And that’s a wrap! Everyone move out!
AS: Let’s do it!

RP closed memo.

[lucidSeraph]

MY CHILDHOOD

[ceruleanTresses]

So...I'm just gonna leave this here. Jumping on the crossover bandwagon.

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reluctantPrince [RP] opened memo on board LET’S DO IT.

RP: Alright, so. Is everybody clear how this is working?
insaneMembrane [IM] responded to memo.
IM: Yes. And, just for the record, I want it noted how INSANE I think this is.
adrenalShopaholic [AS] responded to memo.
AS: Noted. Can we please move on now and just DO this? We’ve been talking about it for hours. I’m ready for action!
IM: Oh surprise, surprise.
IM: Have you even stopped to consider how stupid this idea is?
IM: Never split the party, man.
IM: Never.
IM: Split.
IM: The party. Just saying.
xenologicalCentaur [XC] responded to memo.
XC: I am confused.
XC: I was under the impression that a party is a human ritual where many humans gather to partake of delicious food and enjoy each other’s company.
XC: Am I mistaken?
IM: *facepalm*
XC: Oh, I see! You just performed on of those human internet memes, am I correct?
XC: Meem.
XC: Meeeeeeem.
XC: Iiiinternet meeeem. Muh. Meeeeem-muh.
IM: OH MY GOD. WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT. WE ARE TYPING. THERE IS NO NEED TO PLAY WITH SOUNDS THAT DO NOT EXIST.
critterCaretaker [CC] responded to memo.
CC: Settle down, everyone! Especially you, IM.
IM: Sorry. I’m just a little stressed, I guess.
AS: From what? This plan rocks.
RP: We all agreed that splitting into two teams was the most efficient way to clear the worlds and get to our respective gates.
IM: No, YOU did. I still think it’s an awful idea. Oh, and I want this on the record too, you put me on the team with HIM.
RP: Well, someone has to be.
thermalRider [TR] responded to memo.
TR: Don’t worry about it, man. You’ve got me and BG to back you up!
IM: Great. The moody one and the alien. Fantastic.
barkeatingGenius [BG] responded to memo.
BG: you dshoiuld nmot wortry so myuch im
BG: hew ill be lkittrle rtouble ni teh meidum
TR: Whoa, BG, what’s up with your text? You having trouble with the English alphabet?
BG: noi it ids tihs ciomupter i alchgemiuzesd
BG: claqws adn kewyboasrds do not go togfetehr so wdsell
BG: i wol hazve to crerate somnethign styrdire adn mre uiser friend;y wehn w get morw groist
TR: Ah. Alrighty then.
RP: So everyone got it? We’ll split into two teams of four.
RP: Team one is me, CC, AS, and XC
RP: Team two is IM, BG, TR, and CG
AS: Yes, we get it. Now let’s go!
galaxyConqueror [CG] responded to memo.
CG: FOOLS! WHEN I ESCAPE THIS PRIMITIVE HUMAN GAME CONSTRUCT I WILL CRUSH YOU ALL!
RP banned CG from responding to memo.
RP: And that’s a wrap! Everyone move out!
AS: Let’s do it!

RP closed memo.

At the "meeeem" part, I realized what this was, and I flipped. SO AWESOME.

Edit: Oh god the chumhandles are so perfect. I am pretty sure that you selected literally the best possible chumhandles out of the entire English language.

[X15lm204]

@cT: I didn't mean that I'd done a bad job - I'm rather proud of it, really - just that I feel like I need to shower just from the concept alone, let alone the actual act of writing it.

@Aerodactylus: yeeesssss

YEEESSSSS