MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands

**Rimbaum** · 02-13-2011, 06:26 PM

OHGODWHUT?

I may or may not continue this.

REPO!stuck

**ceruleanTresses** · 02-13-2011, 06:38 PM

Originally Posted by Doodled

More crossover. Yay.

Still awesome. MORE PLZ.

**Doodled** · 02-13-2011, 07:37 PM

Originally Posted by ceruleanTresses

Originally Posted by Doodled

More crossover. Yay.

Still awesome. MORE PLZ.

Stop that!

You stop being encouraging this instant!

...

Drat. More... HeavyStuck/HomeRain/Whatever... cross-over time!

**DizzySpecibus** · 02-13-2011, 07:50 PM

Gosh Doodled, your Fanfic is so awesome : D

**Doodled** · 02-13-2011, 07:51 PM

Originally Posted by DizzySpecibus

Gosh Doodled, your Fanfic is so awesome : D

...

I don't think I can comprehend how happy this comment makes me.

Also,

seriously, though, there's some INSANELY awesome fan-ficcers out there. I'm really just an average writer. :P

**Jim Groovester** · 02-13-2011, 08:00 PM

The Sapphire of Alternia, Part 9

**DizzySpecibus** · 02-13-2011, 08:01 PM

*shrug* Hey, maybe that's so. But you still rock : D

**Decker** · 02-13-2011, 08:08 PM

Originally Posted by Jim Groovester

Originally Posted by Path

Diamonds Droog woke up in the morning and thought, "Today is the day I kill Problem Sleuth."

So, just like every other day then?

Looking forward to the next part.

"What are we going to do tonight Droogs?"

"The same thing we do every night Deuce. Try to kill Problem Sleuth!"

**ceruleanTresses** · 02-13-2011, 08:30 PM

Originally Posted by Doodled

Drat. More... HeavyStuck/HomeRain/Whatever... cross-over time!

YES! Equius is PERFECT for this role! And I love how Karkat keeps showing up to be an asshole!

**anonymousComrade** · 02-13-2011, 08:35 PM

Hey kids, it's that time again: another chapter of Crossing Over

This one's kind of short and not a lot gets done, but it does reveal more of this mysterious plan the kids are hatching up!

Previous chapters are in my sig if anyone wants to go back and check those out

Crossing Over: Chapter 6

Notes:

**apocalypticCritic** · 02-13-2011, 08:39 PM

Jim. Jim. Stop it. Stop being so awesome. Because, as has been said at least twice, I hate it when Sapphire of Alternia updates. BECAUSE THEN I HAVE TO WAIT FOR MORE SAPPHIRE OF ALTERNIA.

Or type faster. One of the two.

**Jim Groovester** · 02-13-2011, 09:19 PM

But, but, I've written nine parts in nine days. I don't think I could write any faster if I wanted to!

**Path** · 02-13-2011, 09:34 PM

Sapphire of Alternia comments!

Originally Posted by Jim Groovester

“Maybe when you clean up a bit, you’ll come back.” The receptionist says.

“But I’ll need a reason to do that.” Problem Sleuth says with a smirk as he walks to the elevator. “You got one?”

“Oh,” The receptionist reciprocates the smile. “A few.”

Problem Sleuth, you are such a popular man. I am not an attractive secretary or even an ugly secretary but I would also flirt with you shamelessly.

Originally Posted by Jim Groovester

You can see everything from up here. The whole city. Every single inch. And it goes on for miles. Residential blocks, apartments, industrial districts. Office buildings, movie theaters. Race tracks, casinos. It’s breathtaking.

And then beyond it. Wasteland. Mountains devoid of vegetation. The occasional ruin. It’s humbling. The rest of the planet is like that. Completely dead, and right here is the only spark of life.

Here's where I began to feel that ominous undertone I associate with so much of Hussie's work. It's the feeling you get when you realize you've been staring at one city block for weeks and the world just unfolded and revealed itself. Oh god the world is so big.

Originally Posted by Jim Groovester

Wallstreet Keynoter sighs. “You’re right, of course. I may be expecting too much out of you for asking that. I can’t expect you to work miracles anymore.”

WHAT WHAT IS THIS

Originally Posted by Jim Groovester

Crowbar gives a grin full of contempt. He’s waiting beside two green sedans. Flanking him are Itchy, Die, Eggs, and Biscuits. Crowbar hefts his namesake and steps right in front of Problem Sleuth. “We need to talk. Get in. I’m not going to tell you twice.” He says, pointing to a car with his crowbar. “I’m in a bad mood because of you.”

Originally Posted by Jim Groovester

Make that three times.

Here's your complementary beating for the day. What's that? You're full? You've had your share of beatings? I'm sorry, but I prepared this one specially for you, and I just cannot wait until you're ready. You're just going to have to take this one now.

Originally Posted by Jim Groovester

I've been a jackass author to him recently. But I am completely unapologetic.

This reminds me of a few quotes from the Jim Butcher book Side Jobs, a collection of Dresden short stories. I'm sorry I keep harping on how much your Sleuth reminds me of him but it's about the highest compliment I can pay.

Originally Posted by Decker

Originally Posted by Jim Groovester

Originally Posted by Path

Diamonds Droog woke up in the morning and thought, "Today is the day I kill Problem Sleuth."

So, just like every other day then?

"What are we going to do tonight Droogs?"
"The same thing we do every night Deuce. Try to kill Problem Sleuth!"

It is important to note that the events of Waiting are still holding true! My Droog does not lose patience easily, and he made up his mind at the end of Waiting to let Sleuth and Slick's relationship run its course before he brutally tortured and murdered Problem Sleuth (but, erm, more on that later).
I guess he really must care about Slick, if seeing him with someone else makes him lose his cool.
And Droog is nothing but cool.

**Rio** · 02-13-2011, 09:35 PM

People why must you be so awesome :c

**draconicAlgorithm** · 02-13-2011, 10:07 PM

Whew, got this finished. Not posting it tomorrow because I have another fic I'd like to write for Valentine's Day.

Anyway, Wizardstuck!

Wizardstuck: Valentine's Day

**Ixelrod** · 02-13-2011, 10:08 PM

I am loving Wizardstuck.

**Doodled** · 02-13-2011, 10:13 PM

Originally Posted by draconicAlgorithm

Whew, got this finished. Not posting it tomorrow because I have another fic I'd like to write for Valentine's Day.

Anyway, Wizardstuck!

Wizardstuck: Valentine's Day

*applause*

Well, that was...

-Cool
-Witty
-Adorable
-Funny

all wrapped up into one.

I'd say we've got a winner.

**ceruleanTresses** · 02-13-2011, 10:17 PM

Yeah, I'm going to have to add my voice to the clamor of "WIZARDSTUCK IS AWESOME." Because it is. It is so awesome. Especially Karkat.

**Rio** · 02-13-2011, 10:18 PM

Dawww.

**SkaianRedeemer** · 02-13-2011, 10:38 PM

@draconicAlgorithm: I'm glad and surprised you got through it in one day! I can't quite take credit for all of the esoteric pairings, since some of them were selected and random and the rest derived from circumstance, but I'm glad you're enjoying them! As for Wizardstuck, I'm glad to see that you can jump ahead so far and still keep everything coherent. I assume the next chapter will be back in the Fall though?

@Jim: I love how Problem Sleuth's idea of useless doesn't match ours. "Oh, he actually is a Sburbian veteran? A highly respected one? Mobster Kingpin would have been a Prospitian, that's true!" and he's just yawwwwning and walking straight into another, dare I call it, Path trap. I'm saying he's about to get chrono-drubbed, is what I'm saying.

I'm afraid I didn't keep the results of my comment dump because I just wasn't keeping up, but I did just read most everything that wasn't crossed over with something I know nothing about and you are all, as usual, wonderful.

**lucidSeraph** · 02-13-2011, 10:44 PM

Originally Posted by draconicAlgorithm

... Yeah. The Hufflepuff section is so long because Hufflepuff is the best house, okay?

fixed that for you bro

**draconicAlgorithm** · 02-13-2011, 10:46 PM

Thanks guys! I'm glad you all liked it. Half the time I post these thinking "Oh jeez, no one's going to like it this time, it's so silly," but everyone does anyway. xD

@SkaianRedeemer: Haha, I love random pairings, so it's all good. And I'll admit, it was really long, but I wasn't doing much today anyway. xD And yeah, the next one will go back to the fall, although to be honest, I'll be jumping around a bit soon as I start telling random stories from the points of view of different characters.

EDIT: Ninja'd!

@lucidSeraph: You're right, that is the real reason.

**Author** · 02-13-2011, 10:47 PM

LAAAAADIIIIIESS AND GENTLEMEN!!!!

BOOOOOYS AND GIIIIRLLLLLS!

CERULEANTRESSES AND AUTHOR PRESENT TO YOU

BLOOD AND BLOODLESS - Rebooted

WELL, CHAPTER 12 OF BLOOD AND BLOODLESS WAS A PIECE OF SHIT, AS A RESULT OF BEING WRITTEN BY PAST ME, WHO IS ALSO A PIECE OF SHIT. SO KANAYA IS HELPING ME REBOOT IT.

GA: Karkat I Am Not Sure This Is The Best Idea
CG: SHUT UP, IT'LL BE AWESOME.

KARKATTIUS CRIMONSICKLE AUTHORITARIAT SLOWLY WALKED DOWN THE HALLWAY. ALL THE TROLLS TURNED TO STARE AT HIM, BECAUSE HE WAS JUST SO FUCKING COOL. HE WAS WEARING SUNGLASSES, BUT NOT THE KIND THAT STRIDER WEARS BECAUSE THOSE ARE DUMB. HIS SUNGLASSES CHANGED COLOR AND SHIT, AND HAD SPIKES ON THEM. Kanayarian Leftwinged The Third Passed By Karkattius. She Did Not Approve Of His Sunglasses Because Equius Wore The Same Pair.

CG: KANAYA, THEY ARE NOT STRONGTARD'S FUCKING SUNGLASSES!
GA: You Said You Wanted Me To Help You Write It
GA: That Is What I Am Doing
GA: Helping
CG: THEY ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM SWEATYFUCK'S SUNGLASSES.
CG: Not Really Karkat
CG: HIS SUNGLASSES ARE STUPID SUNGLASSES AND THEY ARE MADE OF SHIT.
GA: I Do Not Agree Karkat
GA: Nepeta Claims That Equius Wears Them Very Daintily
CG: JESUS KANAYA NO, LOOK.
CG: SWEATQUIUS'S GLASSES HAVE SQUARE LENSES, AND ARE FULL OF CRACKS, AND ARE BASICALLY AWFUL IN EVERY WAY.
GA: And Yours Also Do Not Look Like The Ones Belonging To
GA: That Bro Strider Always Speaks of
GA: Clearly They Are Much Different
GA: They Are Not Similar In Any Way Whatsoever Correct
CG: KANAYA, SERIOUSLY, I SAID THEY HAVE SPIKES AND CHANGE COLOR.
CG: THEY ARE JUST THE MOST BADASS SUNGLASSES, OKAY?
GA: Obviously
GA: It Is Not Like You Stole The Captchalogue Code From Striders Old Sunglasses
GA: And I Most Certainly Did Not See You Do That
GA: Because That Never Happened
CG: DAMN STRAIGHT.

SO ANYWAY KARKATTIUS KIND OF GAVE KANAYARIAN A DISMISSIVE YET INTRIGUED GLANCE. HE WASN'T GOING TO BE ALL GAPING LIKE A MOONSTRUCK WIGGLER JUST BECAUSE KANAYARIAN WAS LESS RETARDED THAN THE OTHER TROLLS. HE WAS A TOTAL BADASS, AND BADASSES DON'T WEAR FUCKING DIAMONDS ON THEIR SLEEVES. Kanayarian Leftwing The Third Was Usually Alone At School Because She Did Not Approve Of Karkattius Abominable Blood Color

CG: OKAY CAN WE NOT GO THERE.
GA: I Am Sorry Karkat
GA: I Thought We Were Roleplaying
GA: Like What Vriska And Nepeta Do
CG: WE ARE, JUST IF WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT HIS BLOOD COLOR THEN LET'S FOCUS ON HOW IT MAKES HIM IMMUNE TO VAMPIRES.
CG: I MEAN I GET THAT IT'S JUST A STORY, BUT I'M PRETTY SENSITIVE ABOUT THAT.
GA: I Am Really Truly Sorry
GA: I Will Get A Notorized Letter And Everything
GA: If Only To Apologize To You For What I Had My Character Say In The Story
CG: I CAN'T TELL WHETHER YOU'RE BEING SARCASTIC.
GA: Sorry
GA: It Happens When I Show Emotion Sometimes
GA: I Blame Those Movies You Forced Me To Watch
GA: Why Exactly Did The Troll Always Get The Other Troll Anyways
CG: BECAUSE THAT IS THE WHOLE POINT!
GA: But It Made No Sense
CG: YOU JUST DON'T GET THE NUANCES.
CG: THE PROTAGONISTS HAVE TO FILL THEIR QUADRANTS BECAUSE IT'S FATED.
GA: What About The Movie Where The One Troll Did Risque Things With Many Other Trolls
GA: And The Other Trolls Always Found Matesprits Afterwards
GA: And It Was Because Of Mind Trickery
CG: OKAY, YES, BUT THAT ONE WAS EXPLORING ALL THE SUBTLETIES OF COURTSHIP.
GA: I Still Felt Awkward Watching That With You
GA: They Showed So Many Risque Objects
CG: I'LL ADMIT THAT THE PAIL SHOT WAS A BIT MUCH.
CG: BUT THEY WERE GOING FOR REALISM.
GA: I Understand That But It Was Truly Unnecessary
CG: NOTHING ABOUT MY ROMCOMS IS UNNECESSARY. THEY ARE METICULOUSLY CRAFTED EXPLORATIONS OF THE TROLL PSYCHE AND THEY ARE FUCKING AWESOME.
GA: I Also Dont Understand Why You Demanded Eridan Watch It As Well
GA: You Were Just Encouraging Him
CG: ERIDAN NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO FUCKING INTERPRET SOCIAL CUES.
CG: THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN A GOOD ROMCOM FOR EDUCATING THE ROMANTICALLY RETARDED.
GA: But You Also Showed Him A Movie Where The Main Character Was Oblivious To Everyones Needs
GA: Except Those Of The Object Of His Flushed Affections
GA: What If He Used That Character As A Role Model Karkat
GA: What Would You Do
CG: OKAY, THAT WAS MAYBE NOT THE BEST CHOICE OF MOVIES...
GA: But This Is Completely Beside The Point

Kanayarian Had A Secret That She Did Not Want Others To Know About. She Had Many Such Secrets, But This Was The Most Secretive Of Them, And She Particularly Did Not Want The Manly Karkattius To Discover It. KARKATTIUS COULD TELL THAT KANAYARIAN WAS BEING SECRETIVE, BECAUSE HE WAS INCREDIBLY PERCEPTIVE. BUT HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS, WHICH WAS UNUSUAL FOR HIM BECAUSE HE USUALLY KNEW ANYTHING HE WANTED TO KNOW. NORMALLY IF SOMEONE TRIED TO KEEP A SECRET FROM KARKATTIUS, HE WOULD JUST REMOVE HIS SUNGLASSES AND GIVE THEM A GLOWERING GLARE WHILE RUNNING HIS FINGER ALONG THE BLADE OF THE LACRYMOSE CRESCENT OF WAXING RETRIBUTION. But Kanayarian Was Far Too Strongwilled To Succumb To Karkattiuss Glare. AND HE WOULDN'T DO THAT TO HER ANYWAY BECAUSE HE HAD MORE RESPECT FOR HER THAN THAT. Kanayarian The Leftwinged Quickly Departed From The Hallway Of Corridorlikeness, Making Her Way Swiftly Towards Her Secret Place Of Secretive Secrets.

GA: Karkat Why Do You Keep Adding Punctuation To My Parts
GA: Its Disrespectful
CG: KANAYA, YOU'RE MY MORAIL AND I CARE ABOUT YOU, BUT YOUR QUIRK IS FUCKING AWFUL FOR PROSE.

KARKATTIUS TURNED INVISIBLE, BECAUSE HE COULD DO THAT, AND FOLLOWED HER SILENTLY. Kanayarian Did Not Notice Karkattius, Because She Could Not Sense Invisible People. But She Could Sense A Soul Of True Charisma Following Her. She Walked Quickly To Her Secret Place With Secrets In It, And Gently Touched A Picture Of A Boy That Had Been Taken Hundred Of Years Before, Wondering Why Nobody Had Ever Come To Take His Place KARKATTIUS OBSERVED WHILE LEANING INVISIBLY AGAINST A PILLAR, LOOKING FUCKING BADASS, OR AT LEAST HE WOULD HAVE IF HE WEREN'T INVISIBLE. HE WAS WEARING A LEATHER JACKET.

GA: Karkat
GA: Kanayarian Cant Even See Karkattius
GA: Why Does He Need A Leather Jacket
CG: HE WAS WEARING THE LEATHER JACKET BEFORE HE TURNED INVISIBLE.
CG: IT IS PART OF HIS FUCKING AWESOME ENSEMBLE AS THE THRESHECUTIONER GENERAL.
CG: I THOUGHT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD APPRECIATE MY USE OF FASHION HERE.
GA: Okay Fine

Kanayarian Whispered To Herself Where Have You Gone Orphaner What Will You Do She Quietly Sobbed To The Picture Because It Made Her Very Sad That She Had Not Seen Her Friend For So Long

CG: HAHAHA ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
CG: ERIDAN'S GODAWFUL FUCKSTUPID FLARP ELF?
GA: Karkat
GA: If You Are Going To Make Fun Of Eridans Roleplaying
GA: I Feel Obliged To Remind You That Were Writing Fanfiction About You And Your Obsession With Trollight
CG: OKAY FIRST OF ALL.
CG: YOU ARE TOTALLY NOT GIVING ME ENOUGH FUCKING CREDIT HERE.
CG: TROLLIGHT IS A BRILLIANT EXPLORATION OF THE COMPLEX DYNAMICS OF SUPERNATURAL INTERSPECIES ROMANCE.
CG: AND THIS ISN'T FANFICTION. THIS IS
CG: UM.
CG: A FURTHER EXPLORATION OF THE TROLLIGHT UNIVERSE, BUT IN A COMPLETELY ORIGINAL WAY WITH OUR OWN FUCKING AWESOME CHARACTERS.
GA: So Its Fanfiction
CG: GODDAMMIT NO IT'S NOT, SHUT UP!
GA: Alright

ANYWAY KARKATTIUS COULDN'T EVEN BELIEVE KANAYARIAN WAS PINING AFTER ORPHANER DUALSHIT, BECAUSE DOUCHESCAR IS JUST THE WORST CHARACTER EVER. HE HAS NO FUCKING CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. ALL HE DOES IS GO AROUND DRESSED IN A RIDICULOUS OUTFIT AND MAKE UP COOL POWERS TO HAVE. Kanayarian Shivered Slightly In The Cold She Said I Know You Are There Karkattius. KARKATTIUS SAID, "I KNOW YOU KNOW,” BECAUSE NOTHING EVER TOOK HIM BY SURPRISE. HE HAD BEEN EXPECTING THIS ALL ALONG. HE STOPPED BEING INVISIBLE, WITH THIS REALLY COOL VISUAL RIPPLING EFFECT. Kanayarian Wondered How Karkattius Knew Because He Was Invisible And She Thought That Rainbow Drinkers Could Only Have One Ability.

CG: KANAYA, WE HAVE BEEN OVER THIS.
CG: KARKATTIUS ISN'T A RAINBOW DRINKER.
CG: KARKATTIUS IS LIKE THE ANTITHESIS OF A RAINBOW DRINKER BECAUSE OF HIS BLOOD.
CG: RAINBOW DRINKERS CAN'T DRINK IT, WHICH IS WHY KARKATTIUS CAN GO AMONG THEM FREELY.
CG: AND IT IS ALSO WHY HE IS UNIQUELY SUITED TO LEAD THEM, BRINGING DISPARATE FACTIONS TOGETHER TO COOPERATE TOWARD A COMMON GOAL.
CG: AND HE CAN HAVE AS MANY POWERS AS HE WANTS, BECAUSE HE'S FUCKING AWESOME.
GA: Oh
GA: I Think I Understand Now
GA: Let Me Change That Last Sentence Then

Kanayarian Wondered How Karkattius Knew Because Even The Most Amazing Of All Threshecutioners Only Spoke Of A Few Powers That He Held In His Possession. KARKATTIUS WOULD NEVER TELL HER BECAUSE HE IS TOO BADASS. BUT HE KNEW, SECRETLY, THAT HE HADN'T ACTUALLY USED A POWER THIS TIME. HE WAS JUST SO FUCKING PERCEPTIVE. Kanayarian Glanced At Karkattius, Asking Him Politely To Leave Her Secret Place. If You Know That, Then You Know This Is The Only Place Where I Can Be Alone She Says. KKARKATTIUS DIDN'T LEAVE BECAUSE HE KNEW THAT WHAT KANAYARIAN REALLY WANTED WAS FOR HIM TO STAY, EVEN IF SHE COULDN'T ADMIT IT TO HERSELF. Kanayarian Turned Around Slowly, And Ran Toward Karkattius Clinging To Him And Crying Jade Colored Tears

GA: Karkat This Feels Really Weird
GA: Were Morails
GA: And Its Awkward To Write Things Like That
CG: JEGUS, KANAYA! GROSS!
CG: I THOUGHT THAT WAS MEANT AS A PALE INTERACTION!
GA: It Didnt Seem Pale
CG: WHO SAYS HUGGING CAN'T BE PALE?
GA: Erm
GA: Everything Ive Read
GA: Your Romantic Comedies
CG: OKAY FIRST OF ALL, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WROTE IT.
CG: SECOND, I WOULD ABSOLUTELY LET YOU HUG ME IF YOU WERE UPSET, WHAT KIND OF FUCKING MORAIL DO YOU THINK I AM.
CG: THIRDLY, YOU ARE COMPLETELY OVERSIMPLIFYING THE ROMCOMS.
CG: LET ME EXPLAIN AGAIN.
GA: No It Is Perfectly Fine
CG: THE ROMCOMS ARE BRILLIANT EXPLORATIONS—AND SOMETIMES SENDUPS—OF ROMANCE IN ALL QUADRANTS.
CG: MOIRALLEGIANCE INCLUDED.
CG: THEY SKILLFULLY HANDLE THE COMPLEX INTERACTIONS BETWEEN THEM.
GA: Alright
GA: Wait But If Karkattius Is Now Morails With Kanayarian
GA: What About Jacob
CG: THIS IS A REBOOT, REMEMBER?
GA: Oh Yes
GA: Sorry
CG: HE IS NOT MORAILS WITH JACOB BECAUSE JACOB IS STUPID.
CG: THERE IS NO REAL DEPTH TO HIS CHARACTER AND HE BASICALLY EXISTS ONLY TO CREATE CONFLICT, SO FUCK HIM.
CG: BESIDES
CG: THAT WAS THE WRONG END OF THE DIAMOND FOR KARKATTIUS.
CG: KARKATTIUS IS TALENTED AS SHIT AT PSYCHOLOGY, BUT HE IS ALSO A BADASS.
CG: A VIOLENT WARFARING BADASS WHO ISN'T AFRAID TO GET HIS SICKLE BLOODY.
GA: Very Well
GA: What Do You Have Karkattius Do Then

KARKATTIUS STROKES KANAYARIAN'S HAIR IN A REALLY BADASS AND MANLY WAY, OFFERING SUPPORT WITHOUT COMPROMISING HIS STOICALNESS.

AT: hEY, uHH, kARKAT, wHAT ARE YOU DOING?
CG: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE...
AT: bECAUSE, uHH, IT LOOKS REALLY ODD FROM OVER HERE,
AT: yOU'RE KIND OF, uHH, LEANING OVER A BOOK WITH kANAYA,
AT: aND, sCRIBBLING IN IT,
CG: TAVROS, GO FALL DOWN SOME FUCKING STAIRS OR SOMETHING.
CG: MAYBE YOU'LL BREAK YOUR GODAWFUL HORNS OFF IN THE PROCESS.
CG: BUT OH WAIT, THAT WON'T DO ANY GOOD.
CG: BECAUSE IT WON'T MAKE YOU ANY LESS STUPID.
AT: i DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE,
AT: i THINK I'VE FINALLY, uHH, mASTERED THE NUANCES OF THE STAIRS,
CG: GOOD, THEN WHY DON'T YOU GO WALK UP AND DOWN THEM FOR A FEW HOURS AND LEAVE US ALONE.
GA: wELL, uHH, rUFIO SAYS PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT,
AT: sO i WILL, uHH, gO DO THAT,
GA: Karkat That Was Rather Mean
GA: He Just Asked A Question Of You
CG: WELL, HE SHOULDN'T BE BUTTING IN.
CG: STICKING HIS GREAT BIG STUPID HORNS, WHICH ARE WAY WORSE THAN MY HORNS, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR AWESOME WRITING SESSION.
CG: BUT UGH, FINE. I GUESS I CAN LAY OFF HIM A LITTLE BIT.

Kanayarian Sobbed A Bit Into Karkattius, And Then Looked Up At Him Her Eyes Still Shimmering With Jade Colored Tears, Thank You Karkattius I Have Felt So Alone For So Long But With You I Feel Like I Finally Have Somebody To Talk To. KARKATTIUS SAID, "YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE AGAIN." Never She Asked? "NEVER,” KARKATTIUS CONFIRMED. “I AM HERE TO PROTECT AND GUIDE YOU, BECAUSE I AM MANLY AND BADASS."

CG: OK, LET'S STOP THERE. I WANT TO END IT ON A HIGH NOTE.
GA: That Story Didnt Really Have Much In The Way Of Genuine Conflict
GA: And I Dont Think It Was Very Well Paced
CG: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING.

I played Kanaya and Tavros. ceruleanTresses was the amazing Karkat.

**draconicAlgorithm** · 02-13-2011, 11:01 PM

Originally Posted by Author

LAAAAADIIIIIESS AND GENTLEMEN!!!!

BOOOOOYS AND GIIIIRLLLLLS!

CERULEANTRESSES AND AUTHOR PRESENT TO YOU

BLOOD AND BLOODLESS - Rebooted

WELL, CHAPTER 12 OF BLOOD AND BLOODLESS WAS A PIECE OF SHIT, AS A RESULT OF BEING WRITTEN BY PAST ME, WHO IS ALSO A PIECE OF SHIT. SO KANAYA IS HELPING ME REBOOT IT.

GA: Karkat I Am Not Sure This Is The Best Idea
CG: SHUT UP, IT'LL BE AWESOME.

KARKATTIUS CRIMONSICKLE AUTHORITARIAT SLOWLY WALKED DOWN THE HALLWAY. ALL THE TROLLS TURNED TO STARE AT HIM, BECAUSE HE WAS JUST SO FUCKING COOL. HE WAS WEARING SUNGLASSES, BUT NOT THE KIND THAT STRIDER WEARS BECAUSE THOSE ARE DUMB. HIS SUNGLASSES CHANGED COLOR AND SHIT, AND HAD SPIKES ON THEM. Kanayarian Leftwinged The Third Passed By Karkattius She Did Not Approve Of His Sunglasses Because Equius Wore The Same Pair

CG: KANAYA, THEY ARE NOT STRONGTARD'S FUCKING SUNGLASSES!
GA: You Said You Wanted Me To Help You Write It
GA: That Is What I Am Doing
GA: Helping
CG: THEY ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM SWEATYFUCK'S SUNGLASSES.
CG: Not Really Karkat
CG: HIS SUNGLASSES ARE STUPID SUNGLASSES AND THEY ARE MADE OF SHIT.
GA: I Do Not Agree Karkat
GA: Nepeta Claims That Equius Wears Them Very Daintily
CG: JESUS KANAYA NO, LOOK.
CG: SWEATQUIUS'S GLASSES HAVE SQUARE LENSES, AND ARE FULL OF CRACKS, AND ARE BASICALLY AWFUL IN EVERY WAY.
GA: And Yours Also Do Not Look Like The Ones Belonging To
GA: That Bro Strider Always Speaks of
GA: Clearly They Are Much Different
GA: They Are Not Similar In Any Way Whatsoever Correct
CG: KANAYA, SERIOUSLY, I SAID THEY HAVE SPIKES AND CHANGE COLOR.
CG: THEY ARE JUST THE MOST BADASS SUNGLASSES, OKAY?
GA: Obviously
GA: It Is Not Like You Stole The Captchalogue Code From Striders Old Sunglasses
GA: And I Most Certainly Did Not See You Do That
GA: Because That Never Happened
CG: DAMN STRAIGHT.

SO ANYWAY KARKATTIUS KIND OF GAVE KANAYARIAN A DISMISSIVE YET INTRIGUED GLANCE. HE WASN'T GOING TO BE ALL GAPING LIKE A MOONSTRUCK WIGGLER JUST BECAUSE KANAYARIAN WAS LESS RETARDED THAN THE OTHER TROLLS. HE WAS A TOTAL BADASS, AND BADASSES DON'T WEAR FUCKING DIAMONDS ON THEIR SLEEVES. Kanayarian Leftwing The Third Was Usually Alone At School Because She Did Not Approve Of Karkattius Abominable Blood Color

CG: OKAY CAN WE NOT GO THERE.
GA: I Am Sorry Karkat
GA: I Thought We Were Roleplaying
GA: Like What Vriska And Nepeta Do
CG: WE ARE, JUST IF WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT HIS BLOOD COLOR THEN LET'S FOCUS ON HOW IT MAKES HIM IMMUNE TO VAMPIRES.
CG: I MEAN I GET THAT IT'S JUST A STORY, BUT I'M PRETTY SENSITIVE ABOUT THAT.
GA: I Am Really Truly Sorry
GA: I Will Get A Notorized Letter And Everything
GA: If Only To Apologize To You For What I Had My Character Say In The Story
CG: I CAN'T TELL WHETHER YOU'RE BEING SARCASTIC.
GA: Sorry
GA: It Happens When I Show Emotion Sometimes
GA: I Blame Those Movies You Forced Me To Watch
GA: Why Exactly Did The Troll Always Get The Other Troll Anyways
CG: BECAUSE THAT IS THE WHOLE POINT!
GA: But It Made No Sense
CG: YOU JUST DON'T GET THE NUANCES.
CG: THE PROTAGONISTS HAVE TO FILL THEIR QUADRANTS BECAUSE IT'S FATED.
GA: What About The Movie Where The One Troll Did Risque Things With Many Other Trolls
GA: And The Other Trolls Always Found Matesprits Afterwards
GA: And It Was Because Of Mind Trickery
CG: OKAY, YES, BUT THAT ONE WAS EXPLORING ALL THE SUBTLETIES OF COURTSHIP.
GA: I Still Felt Awkward Watching That With You
GA: They Showed So Many Risque Objects
CG: I'LL ADMIT THAT THE PAIL SHOT WAS A BIT MUCH.
CG: BUT THEY WERE GOING FOR REALISM.
GA: I Understand That But It Was Truly Unnecessary
CG: NOTHING ABOUT MY ROMCOMS IS UNNECESSARY. THEY ARE METICULOUSLY CRAFTED EXPLORATIONS OF THE TROLL PSYCHE AND THEY ARE FUCKING AWESOME.
GA: I Also Dont Understand Why You Demanded Eridan Watch It As Well
GA: You Were Just Encouraging Him
CG: ERIDAN NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO FUCKING INTERPRET SOCIAL CUES.
CG: THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN A GOOD ROMCOM FOR EDUCATING THE ROMANTICALLY RETARDED.
GA: But You Also Showed Him A Movie Where The Main Character Was Oblivious To Everyones Needs
GA: Except Those Of The Object Of His Flushed Affections
GA: What If He Used That Character As A Role Model Karkat
GA: What Would You Do
CG: OKAY, THAT WAS MAYBE NOT THE BEST CHOICE OF MOVIES...
GA: But This Is Completely Beside The Point

Kanayarian Had A Secret That She Did Not Want Others To Know About She Had Many Such Secrets But This Was The Most Secretive Of Them And She Particularly Did Not Want The Manly Karkattius To Discover It KARKATTIUS COULD TELL THAT KANAYARIAN WAS BEING SECRETIVE, BECAUSE HE WAS INCREDIBLY PERCEPTIVE. BUT HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS, WHICH WAS UNUSUAL FOR HIM BECAUSE HE USUALLY KNEW ANYTHING HE WANTED TO KNOW. NORMALLY IF SOMEONE TRIED TO KEEP A SECRET FROM KARKATTIUS, HE WOULD JUST REMOVE HIS SUNGLASSES AND GIVE THEM A GLOWERING GLARE WHILE RUNNING HIS FINGER ALONG THE BLADE OF THE LACRYMOSE CRESCENT OF WAXING RETRIBUTION. But Kanayarian Was Far Too Strongwilled To Succumb To Karkattiuss Glare AND HE WOULDN'T DO THAT TO HER ANYWAY BECAUSE HE HAD MORE RESPECT FOR HER THAN THAT.Kanayarian The Leftwinged Quickly Departed From The Hallway Of Corridorlikeness Making Her Way Swiftly Towards Her Secret Place Of Secretive Secrets KARKATTIUS TURNED INVISIBLE, BECAUSE HE COULD DO THAT, AND FOLLOWED HER SILENTLY. Kanayarian Did Not Notice Karkattius Because She Could Not Sense Invisible People But She Could Sense A Soul Of True Charisma Following Her She Walked Quickly To Her Secret Place With Secrets In It And Gently Touched A Picture Of A Boy That Had Been Taken Hundred Of Years Before Wondering Why Nobody Had Ever Come To Take His Place KARKATTIUS OBSERVED WHILE LEANING INVISIBLY AGAINST A PILLAR, LOOKING FUCKING BADASS, OR AT LEAST HE WOULD HAVE IF HE WEREN'T INVISIBLE. HE WAS WEARING A LEATHER JACKET.

GA: Karkat
GA: Kanayarian Cant Even See Karkattius
GA: Why Does He Need A Leather Jacket
CG: HE WAS WEARING THE LEATHER JACKET BEFORE HE TURNED INVISIBLE.
CG: IT IS PART OF HIS FUCKING AWESOME ENSEMBLE AS THE THRESHECUTIONER GENERAL.
CG: I THOUGHT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD APPRECIATE MY USE OF FASHION HERE.
GA: Okay Fine

Kanayarian Whispered To Herself Where Have You Gone Orphaner What Will You Do She Quietly Sobbed To The Picture Because It Made Her Very Sad That She Had Not Seen Her Friend For So Long

CG: HAHAHA ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
CG: ERIDAN'S GODAWFUL FUCKSTUPID FLARP ELF?
GA: Karkat
GA: If You Are Going To Make Fun Of Eridans Roleplaying
GA: I Feel Obliged To Remind You That Were Writing Fanfiction About You And Your Obsession With Trollight
CG: OKAY FIRST OF ALL.
CG: YOU ARE TOTALLY NOT GIVING ME ENOUGH FUCKING CREDIT HERE.
CG: TROLLIGHT IS A BRILLIANT EXPLORATION OF THE COMPLEX DYNAMICS OF SUPERNATURAL INTERSPECIES ROMANCE.
CG: AND THIS ISN'T FANFICTION. THIS IS
CG: UM.
CG: A FURTHER EXPLORATION OF THE TROLLIGHT UNIVERSE, BUT IN A COMPLETELY ORIGINAL WAY WITH OUR OWN FUCKING AWESOME CHARACTERS.
GA: So Its Fanfiction
CG: GODDAMMIT NO IT'S NOT, SHUT UP!
GA: Alright

ANYWAY KARKATTIUS COULDN'T EVEN BELIEVE KANAYARIAN WAS PINING AFTER ORPHANER DUALSHIT. BECAUSE DOUCHESCAR IS JUST THE WORST CHARACTER EVER. HE HAS NO FUCKING CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. ALL HE DOES IS GO AROUND DRESSED IN A RIDICULOUS OUTFIT AND MAKE UP COOL POWERS TO HAVE. Kanayarian Shivered Slightly In The Cold She Said I Know You Are There Karkattius KARKATTIUS SAID, "I KNOW YOU KNOW,” BECAUSE NOTHING EVER TOOK HIM BY SURPRISE. HE HAD BEEN EXPECTING THIS ALL ALONG. HE STOPPED BEING INVISIBLE, WITH THIS REALLY COOL VISUAL RIPPLING EFFECT. Kanayarian Wondered How Karkattius Knew Because He Was Invisible And She Thought That Rainbow Drinkers Could Only Have One Ability

CG: KANAYA, WE HAVE BEEN OVER THIS.
CG: KARKATTIUS ISN'T A RAINBOW DRINKER.
CG: KARKATTIUS IS LIKE THE ANTITHESIS OF A RAINBOW DRINKER BECAUSE OF HIS BLOOD.
CG: RAINBOW DRINKERS CAN'T DRINK IT, WHICH IS WHY KARKATTIUS CAN GO AMONG THEM FREELY.
CG: AND IT IS ALSO WHY HE IS UNIQUELY SUITED TO LEAD THEM, BRINGING DISPARATE FACTIONS TOGETHER TO COOPERATE TOWARD A COMMON GOAL.
CG: AND HE CAN HAVE AS MANY POWERS AS HE WANTS, BECAUSE HE'S FUCKING AWESOME.
GA: Oh
GA: I Think I Understand Now
GA: Let Me Change That Last Sentence Then

Kanayarian Wondered How Karkattius Knew Because Even The Most Amazing Of All Threshecutioners Only Spoke Of A Few Powers That He Held In His Possession KARKATTIUS WOULD NEVER TELL HER BECAUSE HE IS TOO BADASS. BUT HE KNEW, SECRETLY, THAT HE HADN'T ACTUALLY USED A POWER THIS TIME. HE WAS JUST SO FUCKING PERCEPTIVE. Kanayarian Glanced At Karkattius Asking Him Politely To Leave Her Secret Place If You Know That Then You Know This Is The Only Place Where I Can Be Alone She Says KARKATTIUS DIDN'T LEAVE BECAUSE HE KNEW THAT WHAT KANAYARIAN REALLY WANTED WAS FOR HIM TO STAY. EVEN IF SHE COULDN'T ADMIT IT TO HERSELF. Kanayarian Turned Around Slowly And Ran Toward Karkattius Clinging To Him And Crying Jade Colored Tears

GA: Karkat This Feels Really Weird
GA: Were Morails
GA: And Its Awkward To Write Things Like That
CG: JEGUS, KANAYA! GROSS!
CG: I THOUGHT THAT WAS MEANT AS A PALE INTERACTION!
GA: It Didnt Seem Pale
CG: WHO SAYS HUGGING CAN'T BE PALE?
GA: Erm
GA: Everything Ive Read
GA: Your Romantic Comedies
CG: OKAY FIRST OF ALL, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WROTE IT.
CG: SECOND, I WOULD ABSOLUTELY LET YOU HUG ME IF YOU WERE UPSET, WHAT KIND OF FUCKING MORAIL DO YOU THINK I AM.
CG: THIRDLY, YOU ARE COMPLETELY OVERSIMPLIFYING THE ROMCOMS.
CG: LET ME EXPLAIN AGAIN.
GA: No It Is Perfectly Fine
CG: THE ROMCOMS ARE BRILLIANT EXPLORATIONS—AND SOMETIMES SENDUPS—OF ROMANCE IN ALL QUADRANTS.
CG: MOIRALLEGIANCE INCLUDED.
CG: THEY SKILLFULLY HANDLE THE COMPLEX INTERACTIONS BETWEEN THEM.
GA: Alright
GA: Wait But If Karkattius Is Now Morails With Kanayarian
GA: What About Jacob
CG: THIS IS A REBOOT, REMEMBER?
GA: Oh Yes
GA: Sorry
CG: HE IS NOT MORAILS WITH JACOB BECAUSE JACOB IS STUPID.
CG: THERE IS NO REAL DEPTH TO HIS CHARACTER AND HE BASICALLY EXISTS ONLY TO CREATE CONFLICT, SO FUCK HIM.
CG: BESIDES
CG: THAT WAS THE WRONG END OF THE DIAMOND FOR KARKATTIUS.
CG: KARKATTIUS IS TALENTED AS SHIT AT PSYCHOLOGY, BUT HE IS ALSO A BADASS.
CG: A VIOLENT WARFARING BADASS WHO ISN'T AFRAID TO GET HIS SICKLE BLOODY.
GA: Very Well
GA: What Do You Have Karkattius Do Then

KARKATTIUS STROKES KANAYARIAN'S HAIR IN A REALLY BADASS AND MANLY WAY, OFFERING SUPPORT WITHOUT COMPROMISING HIS STOICALNESS.

AT: hEY, uHH, kARKAT, wHAT ARE YOU DOING?
CG: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE...
AT: bECAUSE, uHH, IT LOOKS REALLY ODD FROM OVER HERE,
AT: yOU'RE KIND OF, uHH, LEANING OVER A BOOK WITH kANAYA,
AT: aND, sCRIBBLING IN IT,
CG: TAVROS, GO FALL DOWN SOME FUCKING STAIRS OR SOMETHING.
CG: MAYBE YOU'LL BREAK YOUR GODAWFUL HORNS OFF IN THE PROCESS.
CG: BUT OH WAIT, THAT WON'T DO ANY GOOD.
CG: BECAUSE IT WON'T MAKE YOU ANY LESS STUPID.
AT: i DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE,
AT: i THINK I'VE FINALLY, uHH, mASTERED THE NUANCES OF THE STAIRS,
CG: GOOD, THEN WHY DON'T YOU GO WALK UP AND DOWN THEM FOR A FEW HOURS AND LEAVE US ALONE.
GA: wELL, uHH, rUFIO SAYS PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT,
AT: sO i WILL, uHH, gO DO THAT,
GA: Karkat That Was Rather Mean
GA: He Just Asked A Question Of You
CG: WELL, HE SHOULDN'T BE BUTTING IN.
CG: STICKING HIS GREAT BIG STUPID HORNS, WHICH ARE WAY WORSE THAN MY HORNS, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR AWESOME WRITING SESSION.
CG: BUT UGH, FINE. I GUESS I CAN LAY OFF HIM A LITTLE BIT.

Kanayarian Sobbed A Bit Into Karkattius And Then Looked Up At Him Her Eyes Still Shimmering With Jade Colored Tears Thank You Karkattius I Have Felt So Alone For So Long But With You I Feel Like I Finally Have Somebody To Talk To KARKATTIUS SAID, "YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE AGAIN." Never She Asked "NEVER,” KARKATTIUS CONFIRMED. “I AM HERE TO PROTECT AND GUIDE YOU, BECAUSE I AM MANLY AND BADASS."

CG: OK, LET'S STOP THERE. I WANT TO END IT ON A HIGH NOTE.
GA: That Story Didnt Really Have Much In The Way Of Genuine Conflict
GA: And I Dont Think It Was Very Well Paced
CG: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING.

That was the single most beautiful thing I have ever read. It brought a single manly tear to my eye.

And I'm not even a man.

**apocalypticCritic** · 02-13-2011, 11:04 PM

Originally Posted by Author: Blood and Bloodless- Rebooted

GA: That Story Didnt Really Have Much In The Way Of Genuine Conflict
GA: And I Dont Think It Was Very Well Paced

And that pretty much sums up Twilight.

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