Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
That was basically awesome, but I'm having a little trouble keeping up with everyone. Any chance you could expand that list to include all the characters?
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by CandyLemon
I'm now starting to ship Crowbar/Sleuth/Slick. That is what this place has done to me
My Hardboiled Universe OTP remains Sleuth/Slick. (Crowbar's just some two-bit villain, and Problem Sleuth has bigger fish to fry.)
I'm always going to gravitate to those two, and a weird fucked-up thing with Snowman. Other than that, obviously I am fond of jealous Droog and his for Sleuth.
That being said, I am trying to branch out and characterize a bit more of my headcanon for this universe. So it's time for some Felt.
...as soon as I finish Ambush. >_>
= = =
Originally Posted by Graven_Image
TT: His version of Bro is unnaturally obsessed with puppets.
GG: oh god lil cal
GG: DX
TT: "His version" nothing.
TT: Bro was always like that.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
@Graven: That got pretty hard to follow in the end thanks to matching chumbreviations and colours, but... "Not Gamzee, but an incredibly simulation." made it all worth it!
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by Graven_Image
4x4
turntechGodhead joined the memo
TG: ok
TG: john
TG: this is probably the worst slash best idea youve ever had
EB: uhhh.
EB: any particular reason?
TG: worst because of the derp squad
TG: best because of the new jade
TG: i really like the new jade
guardrailGrinder joined the memo
GG: aaaw!
GG: thats so sweet
TG: oh shoot you weren't supposed to read this
GT: Heh.
GT: Oh man, Dave. Sooo smoooth.
TG: ok shut up new john
TG: you are also the reason this is the worst plan ever
tentacleTherapist joined the memo
TT: Oh, I don't know about that.
TT: I happen to like this John quite well.
GG: yeah and thats my john youre bashing on so watch it, MISTER.
GG: jk, i love all of you guys
turntableTinkerer joined the memo
TT: And we love you too.
TT: Speaking of love, anyone want to come down here and help a sister out?
TT: I'm up to my neck in imps here.
TG: sorry man
TG: land of rain and clockwork no thanks
GG: the gears get all rusty and they end up making a huge noisy racket! DX
TG: its like my eardrums are being violated by a cardboard tube covered in sandpaper
TT: Ok, jegus.
TT: If you didn't want to, you could have just said no.
tentativeThaumaturge joined the memo
TT: If it's quite alright with everyone else, I'll go.
TT: Other me deserves a bit better that flatout rejection from everyone she shares a vague transdimensional relation with.
TT: Thanks.
TT: I guess.
GT: I suppose I'll go, too!
TG: why
TG: cmon dude you have nothing to do with her
GT: Yes, I do.
GT: Me and red Rose are dating, remember?
TG: uhh
GG: ohgodwhat
TT: Well, now that's out of the bag, I can breath a little less easy.
TT: Thanks, purplejohn. How would I live without you.
GT: I'd like to know. ;D
GT: Hokay, now that the references are out of the way...
geniusTinkerer joined the memo
GT: Oh no....
GT: Hey guys!!!
TG: speaking of the derp squad
gardenGnostic joined the memo
GG: whoa! there are more of you guys!!
GG: i thought green John was the only one!
TT: No, there are pretty much a million of us jackholes running around.
GG: and a million of you guys, apparently. :/
EB: wait, I don't get it.
EB: what's so bad about the green us-es?
TT: Wait for it.
turnaboutGadabout joined the memo
TG: hey guise did i miss anythign
TG: looks theres a...
TG: CELEBATOIN in this house
TT: That's what.
TT: I wasn't aware Pesterchum had a font selection function.
TG: nothings impossibe if you...
TG: BELEIVE in yourslef and in mircales
TG: thats what being KNIHGHT of SPACES is all abuot
GT: oh god don't tell me he's been talking to gamzee.
GT: pleeeaase.
TT: No, he's always been like that.
TT: I think it's that Insane Posse band he listens to all the time.
TT: Not Gamzee, but an incredible simulation.
TT: Fantastic.
TT: I'd just like to state for the record that I find rap music in all of its forms to be highly offensive.
TT: Sorry, red Jade.
GG: nah its alright
GG: i prefer hip hop
TG: you know what this conversation is about
TG: not that particular topic
TT: I think this conversation stopped masquerading as being about topics a while ago.
GT: I think i'm done.
GT: Say hi to Mom for me.
TT: Will do.
ghostlyTransfixation left the memo
TG: man somethigns HARSHING his MELLOW
TG: he mihgt need some of my...
TG: MARIJUANA
GT: uhh
GT: what?
GG:
TG: hehe wow
TG: green me grows weed
TG: this is so blindingly obvious in hindsight i dont know why i didnt suspect it sooner
GT: well, i take it back!
GT: he hasn't been TALKING to gamzee.
GT: he IS gamzee!
TG: pretty much
turnaboutGadabout is now an idle chum!
TT: And now comes the hours-long wake up sequence.
TT: Trust me, I've seen it before.
TT: Was he always a stoner?
TT: Yes.
TT: Pretty much the only one who didn't know was his Grandpa, and even then he wondered why the tomato plants looked weird.
TT: The only person in our little band of peers who didn't know was purple John.
TT: Wow, that sounds weird to say.
torturousGrit joined the memo
TG: I would like to point out that my doppelganger's mannerisms should not in any way reflect on your perception of me.
TT: No one's doing that, Dave.
TG: Well, I should hope not, since I am a virtual paragon of decency in this dimensional get-together of alternate versions of the same four hooligans.
TG: wow
TG: you are such a tool
TG: Come on, man, I'm the Knight of Light. I have to talk like this.
EB: you're dave.
EB: i don't think anyone's going to look at you weird for doing anything out of the ordinary!
EB: you can file it under irony.
TG: Irony? Do I look like a hipster to you?
TG: youre stepping on some toes here me
TG: What of it? You want to make something out of it?
TG: booyeah toolme come on
TG: ill meet you down at lohal in fifteen minutes
TG: J'accuse!
TG: A duel it is.
torturedGrit left the memo
turntechGodhead left the memo
EB: uuugh
EB: is purple dave always like that?
GT: always.
GT: he's kind of an insufferable jerk but i don't hold it against him.
GT: he doesn't really appreciate the stuff his mom did for him.
TT: Shock and horror.
TT: None of us do.
GG: man this is sorta painful to watch
GG: but also pretty hilarious so thats ok
TT: I always wondered how bro would've raised another one of us different.
TT: Now I'm not so sure I really want to know.
TT: Red Dave seems like a jerk.
EB: nah, you get used to it.
TT: I believe it's his way of releasing the tension he gets at home.
TT: His version of Bro is unnaturally obsessed with puppets.
GG: oh god lil cal
GG: DX
TT: "His version" nothing.
TT: Bro was always like that.
goldenGreenthumb joined the memo
GG: hey guys!
GG: you'll never believe where I am!
EB: is it an asteroid?
GG: ummm...
GG: yes!
GG: how did you know?
EB: keep going, you're in the right place.
GG: mkay!
GG: wait an asteroid what
GG: which asteroid is this
EB: the one with the ectobiology equipment that made us all.
EB: you know, no biggie.
GT: o.O
GT: oh man, i forgot about that!
GT: that was so weird...
TT: You wouldn't happen to be asleep now, perchance?
GT: hehehehe
GT: maaaayybeeee...
TT: Ugh.
TT: And it's going to keep being like this.
TT: Enjoy it, me.
TT: Enjoy or you'll go crazy.
A/N
So, I realized that *gasp* there was no room to shoehorn in every single variation of every single kid. So here are the last four that we didn't get to see in this fic.
Blue Dave – tripupGumshoe (obsessed with Problem Sleuth)
Green Rose – tipsyTambourinist (musician, but with a bit of an alchohol problem :X)
Purple Jade – glorifiedGrayhead (wise beyond her years, but a bit cynical)
Red John – gearheadTrailblazer (loves him some monster trucks)
I always love seeing other people's interpretations of alt!kids! Wheeee. also I like the idea of PS!BlueDave SO much more than my fail version x_X;
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by SeptimusMagistos
That was basically awesome, but I'm having a little trouble keeping up with everyone. Any chance you could expand that list to include all the characters?
Sure!
Blue John – ectoBiologist (Ghostbusters fan)
Blue Jade – goldenGreenthumb (Avid movie-watcher and gardener)
Blue Rose – tentativeThaumaturge (Loves magic, probably reads Harry Potter)
Blue Dave – tripupGumshoe (PS fanatic)
Green John – geniusTinkerer (Narcoleptic inventor)
Green Jade – gardenGnostic (Narcoleptic gardener)
Green Rose – tipsyTambourinist (Narcoleptic, alchoholic musician)
Green Dave – turnaboutGadabout (Narcoleptic stoner)
Purple John – ghostlyTransfixation (Aradia-ish obsession with talking to dead people)
Purple Jade – glorifiedGrayhead (Smart, but slightly cynical. Silly when she feels like it)
Purple Rose – tentacleTherapist (Snarky broad, enjoys occult literature)
Purple Dave – torturousGrit (Bit of a tool, chivalrous and all that)
Red John – gearheadTrailblazer (Monster truck enthusiast)
Red Jade – guardrailGrinder (Skater chick)
Red Rose – turntableTinkerer (Garage girl, likes cars)
Red Dave – turntechGodhead (Rapper, ironic master)
Color denotes... well, color. Abbreviation denotes which kid.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
@SkaianRedeemer: Yeah, that's a good point about Snowman that I didn't think up. What I was thinking was time and place. The middle of the day with all the businessmen walking around just isn't a good place for Snowman to ambush Problem Sleuth. She needs a dark alley in the middle of the night, and I couldn't provide.
It's good to know my plot fumbling occasionally has good results.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Ugh I will colorcode this eventually.
This relies on a specific culture context for recognition, so if you don't get it, I will explain in the second spoiler, but it is supposed to be a slow build to comprehension type of story. Of course the title might give it away for some of you.
The Whole Megillah
gallowsCalibrator [GC] has started pestering apocalypseArisen [AA]
AA: n0
GC: >:?
apocalypseArisen [AA] has ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]
GA: I Suppose I Can Do It
GA: In Addition To My Other Responsibilities
GA: I Mean I Do Not Mind
GA: But I Thought You Would Reserve Such A Major Role For Yourself
GC: >:] TH4NKS
GC: BUT I TH1NK I WOULD R4TH3R S1T TH3R3
GC: 4ND W4TCH
GC: G4MZ33
TC: WhOa
TC i WaS jUsT aLl hAvInG a MoThERfUcKiNg DrEaM dOwN wItH oF yOu
GC: R34LLY
GC: WH4T H4PP3N3D?
TC: i MoThERfUcKiNg SaW yOu BeInG aLl uP iN a ClOuD
TC: tYpInG
GC: W4S 1 S3ND1NG YOU 4 M3SS4GE?
TC: yEaH! :o)
GC: HMMM WH4T W4S 1T 4BOUT?
GC: W4S 1T... 4 M1R4CL3?
TC: wHoA tHiS iS gEtTiNg PrEtTy SpOoKy
GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3
GC: 1 4M PL4NN1NG SOM3TH1NG
GC: 4ND 1T 1NVOLV3S 4 M1R4CL3!
GC: SORT OF
GC: 4ND 1 4M TRY1NG TO G3T 3V3RYON3 1NVOLV3D
TC: WeLl CoUnT mE iN
TC: aNd dOwN
TC: AnD gEnErAlLy AlL aBoUt It
GC: >:O
GC: BUT YOU DONT 3V3N KNOW WH4T 1T 1S!
TC: yEaH...
TC: bUt...
GC: M1R4CL3S?
TC: MiRaClEs :o)
TC: hOnK
TA: ii 2till dont follow what iit iis you want me to do ff
TA: or ii gue22 ii do
TA: but not why
FF: MAYB-E its a SURPRIS--E MIST--ER MOP---EYMULL--ET!
FF: )(-E)(-E)(-E
TA: oh okay well ii gue22 iill ju2t hack anybodys computer on your 2ay2o wiithout a2kiing any que2tiion2 JEEZ
FF: thats right!! 38D
TA: defiiniitely excu2e me for a2king YOUR HIGHNE22 ii just thought iit wa2 a liittle fii2hy
TA: you wantiing to acce22 vri2ka2 computer after all the 2chemiing and planniing and giiggling youve been up to wiith tz
TA: it2 the giiggliing that worriie2 me the mo2t
FF: as well it should! )(ee)(ee
FF: anyway its not vriskas clamputer i want to get my fins on, reely!
FF: its tavros' hive 38)
TA: oh well that2 a lot le22 omiinou2
FF: )(ee)(ee)(ee
GC: H3H3H3H3H3
FF: )(-E-E)(-E--------E!!!
TA: oh god iim iin hell
FF: 38P you minnow you love it
GC: OK K4N4Y4 4GR33D TO DO TH3 COSTUM3S
GC: 4ND G4MZ33 1S 1N
GC: 1 PUT H1M 1N CH4RG3 OF NO1S3M4K3RS 4ND B4K1NG
AT: oH
AT: uMM
AT: aRE YOU SURE THAT IS, uHH, gOING TO WORK OUT ENTIRELY AS PLANNED AND NOT WITH
AT: fOR EXAMPLE
AT: hIM FORGETTING ENTIRELY TO DO IT BECAUSE HE WAS LOOKING AT, uHH, a ROCK
AT: oR A COLORFUL BUG
GC: H3H3H3
AT: i MEAN
AT: hE IS MY FRIEND
AT: bUT I DONT THINK HE WOULD BE, uHH, oFFENDED BY MY CONCERNS
AT: oR, uHH, uNDERSTAND WHAT I SAID }:/
GC: 1 4GR33!
AT: oH
GC: WH1CH 1S WHY YOU 4R3 1N CH4RG3 OF R3MIND1NG 4ND 4SS1ST1NG H1M!
AT: oH
AT: i WILL DO MY BEST TO HELP
AT: aND BE A GOOD FRIEND AND SUPPORT THIS CULTURAL ACTIVITY WHICH I
AT: uHH
AT: dONT FULLY UNDERSTAND I GUESS
GC: YOU DON'T H4V3 TO >:]
GC: JUST R3M3MB3R TH3 COOK13S SHOULD B3 SH4P3D L1K3 HORNS >:]
AT: oKAY
AT: tHAT IS A GOOD EXAMPLE OF THE KIND OF THING, i GUESS, tHAT I DON'T FULLY UNDERSTAND
GC: H3H3H3H
gallowsCalibrator [GC] has started pestering apocalypseArisen [AA]
GC: 1 W4S WOND3R1NG 1F YOU M1GHT W4NT TO B3 1N 4 PL4Y
AA: I d0nt think y0u understand the magnitude 0f what y0u are asking
AA: and i already answered y0u
GC: 1 W4S TRY1NG TO R3V1S3 DOWN >:[
GC: 4ND 1 ST1LL H4V3NT R34LLY 4SK3D
apocalypseArisen [AA] has ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]
GC: TH3 M1GHTY DR4GON 4PP34RS 4T TH3 L1ON3SS' C4V3RN B34RING 4 M1GHTY F34ST 4ND 4 M1GHT13R 3MBR4C3!
AC: :OO :33
AC: :33 <The lioness grrreets the dragon with a vigrrous pouncehug and a lot of purring!
AC: :33 < But warns she is simeowtaneously advenfuring with her silly meowrail (someow) and might have to go away!
AC: :33 < It has been a long time since you had time to roleplay with me! She purred.
GC: Y3S
GC: TH3 M1GHTY DR4GON H4S B33N V3RY BUSY W1TH OP3R4T1ON R3G1SURP >:[
GC: BUT 1S D3T3RMIN3D TO H4V3 SOM3 FUN R3G4DL3SS!
GC: 4ND D3SP1T3 4LL NUBBY-HORN3D ST1CKS 1N TH3 MUD
GC: 1 W4NT TO G3T 3V3RYON3 TOG3TH3R
AC: :33 < To roleplay??
AC: :33 < Oh purrlease purrlease
GC: SORT OF!
GC: TH3R3 W1LL B3 4 PL4Y 1 TH1NK
GC: 4ND M4YB3 3V3N 4 M4SQU3R4D3
GC: UH, S41D TH3 DR4GON
AC: :OO < How can the lioness assist with this impawsibly lofurly dream?
GC: YOU 4R3 OUR MOST 3XP3R13NC3D ROL3PL4Y3R
GC: 1 N33D YOU TO ORG4N1Z3 TH3 PL4Y!!
GC: OH 4ND DONT T3LL 3QU1US Y3T
GC: TH3 DR4GON W1LL N33D TO 4PPRO4CH H1M W1TH CUNN1NG 4ND PR3P4R4T1ON
GC: N3P3T4?
AC: :((
GC: OH BOY
AC: :33 < oops
CT: D-> I forbid you to involve Nepeta in whatever f001ishness you have concocted
CT: D-> I canter imagine what 100dicrous horsefeathers you have in mind
CT: D-> But you will not saddle my moirail with any responsibilities in the matter
CT: D-> When we have important business to attend to in the game.
CT: D-> Are we entirely trans100cent?
GC: OH J33Z
GC: F1N3
GC: 1 GU3SS W3 C4N DO W1THOUT OUR D1R3CTOR
GC: 4ND OUR K1NG >:[
GC: 1TS 4 PR3TTY 1MPORT4NT ROL3 BUT I GU3SS VR1SK4 C4N PL4Y 4 H1GHBLOOD JUST 4S W3LL 4S YOU COULD
CT: D-> Halt. Er, I order you to wait.
GC: OR 1 GU3SS 1 COULD 4SK G4MZ33 BUT W3 BOTH KNOW H3 WOULD FORG3T HIS LINES
CT: D-> What is this about the Highblood?
GC: 4ND 1T R34LLY N33DS SOM3ON3 STRONG 4ND F13RC3 AND COMM4ND1NG >:/
CT: D-> I order you to explain yourself, Miss Pyrope.
GC: OH 1M SUR3 YOU WOULDNT B3 1NT3R3ST3D 1N MY S1LLY 3NT3RT41NM3NT >:)
CT: D-> Actually we of the more cultured b100dlines have long and storied traditions of putting on entertainments
CT: D-> For reasons of necessity as well as horstory.
CT: D-> I order you to tell me more.
CA: dang it ter this play is all kind of insultin
CA: tell the truth did you wwrite it this wway on purpose
CA: jabbin at me?
CA: some kinda shadowy solicitin goin on here
GC: UGH
GC: NO!!
GC: 1T 1S 4N OLD TR4D1T1ON4L STORY FROM 4NC1ENT T1MES!
GC: TH4T MY LUS3S TOLD M3
CA: hmmmm
CA: im just sayin it seems all kinds of pointed
CA: pointed like a big black pointy spade
GC: UGH 4R3 YOU 1N OR OUT?
CA: wwell wwhats in it for me do you see wwhat im sayin? seems like this brinesucker comes to a pretty sticky end
CA: lets talk rewwrites
GC: LOOK DO YOU W4NT TO B3 1N MY PL4Y OR DO YOU W4NT TO S1T 4ROUND LOW44 4ND MURD3R 4NG3LS WH1L3 W3R3 4LL H4V1NG FUN?
GC: YOUR C4LL
CA; wwell
GC: 4DV4NC3 OR 4BSCOND! 4DV4NC3 OR 4BSCOND!
CA: fin fin calm the hell dowwn
CA: wwere just negotiatin
GC: >:|
CA: damn you drivve a hard bargain ter
CA: im in i guess
CA: but dont think youe gettin awway wwith anything
GC: F1N3.
gallowsCalibrator [GC] has ceased pestering caligulasAquarium [CA]
CA: <3<
gallowsCalibrator [GC] has blocked caligulasAquarium [CA]
apocalypseArisen [AA] has started pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]
AA: fine but 0nly because it fits int0 what i was always already g0ing t0 d0 anyway
GC: >:?????????
GC: 1 SUDD3NLY D0NT UND3RST4ND 4NYTH1NG
apocalypseArisen [AA] has ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]
AG: heeeeeeeey
AG: i think my feelings are hurt
AG: you havent asked me to 8e a part of your little scheme
GC: 1TS NOT 4 SCH3M3
AG: oh please redglare you are in cahoots with 8asically everyone at this point
AG: everyone 8ut me and your 8oyfriend ::::C
GC: 1 DONT KNOW WH4T YOUR3 T4LK1NG 4BOUT
GC: OR WHO... >:?
AG: YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!
AG: anyway
AG: I just wanted to know I saw what you've got Fishface 8uilding on Toreasnore's planet
AG: pretty impressive if i do say so myself!
AG: both the palace and that you got into my computer and 8uilt it
AG: with my grist!
AG: PRETTY CLEVER!!!!!!!!
GC: LOOK 1 H4V3 4 LOT OF 1RONS 1N TH3 F1R3
GC: 4ND 1 KNOW YOU DO TOO
AG: I have all of them!
AG: And don't you forget it
AG: All of the irons!
GC: OK4Y
GC: W3LL YOU 4R3 SO BUSY W1TH J4CK 1 THOUGHT 1 WOULDNT BOTH3R YOU
GC: SO 1 4SK3D CC TO BU1LD 4 S3T FOR M3
GC: T4VROS' WORLD W4S TH3 MOST 4PPROPR14T3 PL4C3
GC: SORRY 1F 1 OFF3ND3D YOU
AG: You wish you were significant enough to offend me, Redglare! ::::P
GC: Y34H...
GC: W3LL W3R3 4BOUT DON3
GC: SO 1F YOU W4NT H3R OFF YOUR COMPUT3R JUST CLOSE OUT THE SH4DOW PROGR4M
AG: Oh I will! I just wanted you to know I'm on to you!
GC: M3SS4G3 R3C13V3D. JUST PL34S3 DONT SM4SH 1T?
AG: Sorry to ruin your little scheme!
arachnidsGrip [AG]'s computer exploded.
GC: WHOOPS >:]
CG: OKAY
GC: 1 B3T VR1SK4 M3SS4G3D YOU
GC: SH3S H4D T1M3 TO 4LCH3MIZ3 4 N3W COMPUT3R BY NOW
CG: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO MESSAGED ME ALL RIGHT
CG: THIS IS NOT THE WHO MESSAGED KARKAT CONVERSATION
CG: IT IS THE WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON BEHIND YOUR LEADER'S BACK CONVERSATION
CG: SO
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON BEHIND MY BACK TEREZI??
GC: YOU 4R3 SO 4DOR4BL3
GC: 4ND DUMB
CG: I'M NOT HEARING ANY EXPLANATIONS
GC: L1K3 4 L1TTL3 TOY SOLD13R 4LL WOUND UP
GC: W1THOUT P4Y1NG 4TT3NT1ON TO WHO H4S H3R H4ND ON TH3 K3Y!
GC: YOU 4R3 B31NG M4N1PUL83D, DUMMY!
CG: BULLSHIT
CG: YOU ARE JUST AVOIDING EXPLAINING
CG: WHICH MEANS IT IS EXTRA TERRIBLE
GC: OH J33Z
GC: 3XCUS3 M3 FOR NOT BUGG1NG OUR L34D3R W1TH MY S1LLY PL4NS
GC: 1TS JUST TH4T TH3R3 1S 4 HOL1D4Y COM1NG
GC: 4 SP3C14L J3WG1SH HOL1D4Y
GC: 4ND 3V3N THOUGH W3 4R3 H3R3 4ND OUR WORLD 1S GON3 1 THOUGHT 1T WOULD B3 FUN
GC: SOM3 OF US 4R3 NOT 4S STRONG 4ND R3S1L13NT 4S YOU
GC: 1 THOUGHT IT WOULD CH33R 3V3RYON3 UP
GC: 4ND K33P US BUSY
CG: YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE BUSY WITH OPERATION REGISURP
GC: W3LL W3R3 4LMOST DON3!
GC: J4CK 1S TH3 ONLY ON3 L3FT
CG: WE ARE NOT EXILING JACK
CG: IT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION
GC: W3 C4N T4LK 4BOUT 1T L4T3R OK4Y?
GC; R1GHT NOW 1 4M D34L1NG W1TH 4 B1G PROBL3M!
CG: WHAT
GC: YOU W1LL TH1NK 1TS STUP1D
CG: BULLSHIT
CG: MORE LIES AND OBFUSCATION
CG: I ORDER YOU AS YOUR LEADER TO TELL ME
GC: W3LL
GC: MY ST4R DROPP3D OUT!
GC: TURNS OUT SOLLUX H4S ST4G3 FR1GHT
GC: H4LF TH3 T1M3 H3 JUST FR33Z3S UP 4ND ST4R3S OUT 4T TH3 4UD13NC3
GC: 4ND NO ON3 3LS3 CAN DO 1T! 3QU1US 4ND 3RIDAN H4V3 P4RTS 4ND 4R4D14 1S B31NG 4LL TH3 3XTR4S
GC: 4ND G4MZ33 1S G4MZ33
GC: 4ND 1 JUST DONT TH1NK T4VROS 1S CUT OUT TO PL4Y TH3 H3RO
GC: >:'[
CG: ...
GC: >:''''[
CG: GOD
CG: DAMN IT
GC: >:D?
CG: FINE
CG: WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO? WHO IS THIS GUY?
GC: H3 1S TH3 H3RO 4ND ST4NDS UP TO TH3 H1GHBLOODS TO S4V3 H1S P3OPL3
GC: B3C4US3 H3 L1ST3NS TO 4 V3RY SM4RT L4DY >:]
It goes off without a hitch; and afterwards there's a masquerade, and they exchange treats, and there are cookies shaped like the villain's horns. The Aradias don't stay for the masquerade; Terezi tries not to imagine what she has and already had planned for a hundred doomed timeclones.
And on Derse, Vriska bundles Jack Noir, bound and gagged, into the back of a ship with the autopilot set for Skaia and the defense portals. He writhes furiously, but Vriska's webs are snug as sin. He spits the gag out, though, and curses her. "Don't you know who I am!! I'm the Archagent!! I'm Ja--"
"P88888888T!" Vriska grins fangily at him. "8on voyage, slick! ::::P" She slams the hatch closed and strolls away, the elaborate prototyping regalia pulled up over her face, vanishing into the carapaced crowd.
It is a Purim fic! Running with the forum gag that Terezi is Troll Jewgish. Vriska ends up stealing the starring role as usual.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Got a weird AU idea on a whim and whipped this up in ten minutes. Who says the trolls can't be on opposite sides of the species gap?
-- crustaceansGenesis [CG] began trolling turntechChampion [TC] --
CG: OKAY, LISTEN TO ME, YOU WWORTHLESS HORRIFIC ASSHAT.
CG: I'VVE HAD ENOUGH OF DEALING WWITH YOUR SINGULARLY MORONIC HUMAN FRIENDS,
CG: BUT TO MY EVVERLASTING DREAD I HAVVE ONE MORE OF YOU USELESS ALIEN FUCKERS TO DEAL WITH.
TC: whOA duuUUUDe whAT the MOTherFuCK?
CG: SEE, THIS IS WWHY I'VVE BEEN STEWWING IN UNFATHOMABLE APPREHENSION OF THIS VVERY CONVVERSATION.
CG: FUTURE ME WWARNED ME ABOUT HOWW FUCKING HORRIBLE THIS IS GOING TO BE
CG: BUT I GUESS THERE'S NO AVVOIDING IT.
TC: ahahHAHA honk BrO I havE no not eVEN iDEA What you aRE all in to BE sAyING
CG: YEAH, THAT'S NOT UNEXPECTED.
CG: SUPPOSEDLY WWHAT I HAVVE TO DO IS TROLL YOU FOR SOME RIDICULOUS PREDESTINED REASON, BECAUSE IT ENDS UP SAVVING ALL OF OUR ASSES IN THE FUTURE.
CG: EXCEPT JACKASS FUTURE ME ONLY TOLD ME THAT I NEED TO HAVVE THIS CONVVERSATION JUST TO FULFILL SOME DUMBASS TIME LOOP.
CG: I MEAN YOU MIGHT THINK THE ROGUE OF TIME ISN'T GOING TO BE THE ONE WWITH THE BEST HANDLE ON THIS SHIT BUT APPARENTLY HE ACTUALLY DEVVELOPS A FUCKING MATESPRITSHIP WWITH HER WWITHIN THE NEXT FEWW HOURS.
TC: UHhHHhhhh...
CG: FUCK, I'M NOT HERE TO VVENT ABOUT MY MORONIC FUTURE RELATIONSHIP ISSUES. I'M HERE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING IMPORTANT.
TC: ahAAAAHAHA moTHERfuCKING spilL it MY bestESt BRO what i haVE NEVEr eVEn met
CG: OKAY.
CG: AS USELESS AS THE SENTIMENT IS GOING TO BE GIVVEN ALL THE SHIT THAT'S GOING ON WWITH UNAVVOIDABLE FATE LINES OR WWHATEVVER
CG: I NEED TO TELL YOU TO KEEP SMOKING YOUR DISGUSTING HUMAN SOPOR PLANT THING.
TC: wHOA i am not ALL up tO be uP iiiiN mothERFUCking stoPPing thE fLow of MIRACLESSSSSS
TC: itS lIKe all WhAt there AInt aNY no reASOn to be not BEST OF HIGH alL the MoThERFuCking time
CG: YEAH, OK, THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT SHIT.
CG: OBVVIOUSLY IN THE FUTURE YOU DO STOP, AND THEN YOU GO ON AN INSANE WWITHDRAWWAL-FUELED TIME RAMPAGE AND RUIN EVVERYTHING
CG: AND RIGHT NOWW IN MY PRESENT I ALWWAYS HAD TO ASK YOU TO NOT DO THAT.
CG: EVVEN THOUGH I KNEWW IT WWOULD/IS COMPLETELY GODDAMN FUTILE.
TC: AW mAN i donT thinK annnyyyyyy of iT IS MOTHErfuckinG futiiile
TC: cause BRO the MEssIAHS of HaRSHwhIMSY
TC: (whICH i could bE haVE to sAY are REAlly pupPETS of ME ME ME MOTHERFUCKING ME)
TC: (WHat on aCCOunt of hOW amazing PUPpets aRE to BE)
TC: aNYWAY theY'll rip out your god damned spine mother fucker.
CG: OH GOD WWHAT
TC: I'll take your useless motherfucking organs and wrap them around your neck.
TC: And then I'll motherfucking pull them tight.
TC: Lift you up like a marionette.
CG: OH GOD OH GOD
TC: AND THEN, MOTHERFUCKER, YOU WILL DANCE MY MIRTHFUL JIG.
CG: WWHAT THE FUCK IS WWRONG WWITH YOU, HOLY SHIT.
TC: Ha.
TC: HA!
TC: HAhaAhAHaahahaa
TC: UhUhuuhhhh
TC: brO fUCk I waSNT all to FinD mY sPeCIAL StarDuST anyWEAR
TC: dID I get ALL My ZonE ouT ON?
CG: OK, THIS CONVVERSATION IS OVVER, THERE IS NO WWAY ANYTHING GOOD CAN COME OF SAYING ANYTHING ELSE TO YOU EVVER.
CG: FUTURE ME WWAS RIGHT, YOU REALLY DO LOSE IT WWHEN YOU'RE NOT ON HUMAN SOPOR LEAVVES.
CG: HOWW THE FUCK CAN YOU BE CLOUDED IN THE THINK PAN LITERALLY TWWENTY-FOUR SEVVEN, THAT CAN'T BE HEALTHY.
TC: ahaAHAh HONK brO I donT even WHAT GeT youR SAYing ABOUT
CG: THIS OBVVIOUSLY CALLS FOR MORE DRASTIC MEASURES THAN USELESSLY TRYING TO UN-PREDESTINE THIS COSMIC FLIP THE FUCK OUT.
CG: WWHERE THE FUCK IS THAT SYLPH OF MIND CHICK?
TC: hooOoooOOoNK
CG: STFU.
-- crustaceansGenesis [CG] began trolling gallowsAnarchist [GA] --
CG: OKAY, OBVVIOUSLY THE JAMES HUMAN ISN'T GOING TO BE LESS INSANE.
CG: I'M WWILLING TO TRY YOUR WWEIRD MIND HEAL THING IF YOU THINK IT'LL PREVVENT HIM FROM COMPLETELY LOSING HIS SHIT.
GA: R34lly Now.
GA: 4ft3r 4ll Th1s T1m3 You H4v3 3l3ct3d To Sol1c1t My 41d?
CG: JUST SHUT UP AND GET WWITH THE FAKEY MAGIC SUICIDE PLAN.
GA: H3h3h3h3h3h3.
CG: CREEPY BITCH.
Originally Posted by XFactorInfinity
I really, really hate the way you type. That's an impossibly mean thing to be honest about, but it's true, and I wanted you to know it. It's nothing against you, and I'm sure you're a pretty okay person, I think?
But the way you string sentences together sounds like a mad libs from a buffy factory took all of the worst parts of the nineties and internet culture and condensed it into an impossibly unpleasant grammatical structure. It's like what an intern at Game Bro Magazine writes like, probably. Before editing. It has so much bullshit, why I gotta read -Benedict try to form a coherent sentence dude
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
@Altum: That was really cool! I figured it was something Jewgish, but I don't know anything about Jewgish holidays other than the ones the Rugrats covered back in the day.
@spacetimeCounselor: That was really cool. Human!stoner!Gamzee is the best. Someone needs to write a Jekyll and Hyde type thing with him.
EDIT: wow, I just realized how incredibly original I am with my praise. Everything is evidently "really cool."
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by Path
My Hardboiled Universe OTP remains Sleuth/Slick. (Crowbar's just some two-bit villain, and Problem Sleuth has bigger fish to fry.)
I'm always going to gravitate to those two, and a weird fucked-up thing with Snowman. Other than that, obviously I am fond of jealous Droog and his for Sleuth.
That being said, I am trying to branch out and characterize a bit more of my headcanon for this universe. So it's time for some Felt.
...as soon as I finish Ambush. >_>
My only OTP used to be the Slick/Snowman weird fucked-up thing, but then your writing persuaded me of Slick/Sleuth and jealous Droog. Add in all the Felt shipping I picked up from the Romart threads, and my Problem Sleuth/Midnight Crew/Felt shipping wall is such a complicated web I'm happy to add in extra links anywhere.
...I'm holding on to HD/NB though
“What?” Sleuth asks. “Is it Itchy? Do you need to get away from his smell first?”
“Fuck you, Problem Sleuth.” Itchy pipes up.
Crowbar grins at the comment. “No,” He answers. “We need to go someplace first.”
^ I also re-read that 4 times before I realised Crowbar was replying to Problem Sleuth and not Itchy. Clearly I have a bad case of Shipper's Brain and/or shouldn't try to read first thing in the morning
And yesssss, Ambush I'm looking forward to that.
Last edited by CandyLemon; 02-16-2011 at 02:19 PM.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by Aerodactylus
@Altum: That was really cool! I figured it was something Jewgish, but I don't know anything about Jewgish holidays other than the ones the Rugrats covered back in the day.
Thanks! I am not a Purim expert either, and I wrote it for my friend who is Orthodox that just got into Homestuck, so I was NERVOUS. I stuck to what I knew and stayed vague on the rest, and I think it worked out pretty well! There are some specific traditions of Purim involved here--plays and retellings of Esther's story (aka, the megillah, from whence the expression 'the whole megillah' entered English!), cookies shaped like Haman's hat, noisemakers used to drown out Haman's name every time it's spoken in the play, costumes and the exchange of small gifts of food.
The story goes like this:
The Jewish people are living as an unpopular minority in the Persian Empire, when the King of Persia decides to take a new wife. His eye lands on Esther, who discreetly hides her background as he courts her. This brings the king's evil vizier, Haman, into contact with Mordecai, Esther's uncle, who manages to offend him repeatedly. Haman schemes to wipe out not just Mordecai but the entire Jewish people, currently in exile in Persia, but with Esther's advice Mordecai wins the King's favor and earns the Jews not freedom from Haman's death squads but the right to defend themselves; they kick a lot of ass, and Mordecai takes Haman's place at the King's right hand.
The genesis and key joke of the whole thing is invisible to anyone who doesn't know about the Purim story, though--it is the one holiday I know of that ends with a hanging! Of course it's Terezi's favorite. The casting, I guess, is probably obvious.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Just my 2 booncents of Homestuck fanfiction here. I wrote this for a Secret Santa exchange on these boards and even though I was far too late I still had to rush to finish.
So the point is, I already know it's nothing good, but I figure that there may be one or two bits that one or two people might like and those odds are good enough for me to post it here anyway! All in good fun, I hope. Of course, if anyone does read it and wants to comment something - anything at all - I'm always listening! Since I'm still horribly inexperienced I can use any advice, if anyone would want to share, so feel free to point anything out you don't like and I'll be grateful for it!
April could always sense when she was being watched.
It was a peculiar feeling, starting somewhere in the back of her chest as a warm glow, then moving upwards to her neck and spreading around to the base of her skull as a light tingling sensation. A passing glance was not enough to trigger it, nor was a lingering gaze. Only a full-blown, rock hard stare focused directly at her would set the response in motion. Had it been easy to dismiss before she realised what it meant, she had never successfully ignored the soundless call once she had found out, no matter how she tried. It was a lack of willpower if anything. Every time again it was a mystery – who was watching, and why? – and she could simply not pass it up. It poked at her mind, pulled at her attention, and generally distracted the hell out of her.
Distraction was not something she needed right now, she thought blearily as she rubbed her tired eyes. She had been trying to catch up with her readings for English literature for several hours, with laughably little success. Her mind, while usually sharp and focused, became prone to wandering after a night of bad sleep, and last night she had barely slept at all, leaving her attention span at somewhere between zero and one - on a logarithmic scale.
In two hours she had a lecture to attend, but she had half a mind to just walk back to her apartment, crash down on her bed and sleep for twenty-four hours straight. Not that she would, though. Her sense of duty was only surpassed by her fear of missing out on that one crucial bit of information that would definitely come up as soon as she skipped class, and as such she always attended, even when sick or tired.
Failing to push the nagging sensation away, as always, she sighed, looked up from the thick volume before her and gazed groggily around the small cafeteria. It was around elevenish, right before the next batch of lectures, and the place was throbbing with students, chatting and laughing and making a lot of noise with their plates. None of that bothered her much. She actually found the background murmur more relaxing than complete silence, which was why she often came here to study. Annoyingly enough, though, it made it near impossible to single out whoever was taking such an interest in her, let alone catch them in the act. Was it the shy first-year standing in a corner, working up the courage to sit with his classmates? Or one of the giggly girls that claimed three tables for themselves and craned their necks every time a guy walked by? Could it be the older man in the thick black coat, sitting alone and looking rather out of place between all the young folk?
She stared long and hard at the last one, who seemed most suspect to her. He didn't seem to be paying her any attention, but he could have easily seen her searching and prepared accordingly. April squinted as she tried to mentally reinforce her gaze, to make him answer her stare, certain that from his response she would be able to tell the truth, but he kept stubbornly reading his paper.
"Come on, you bastard," she muttered. "Are you taking an unhealthy interest in girls half your age or not?"
"I'm pretty sure that guy's a professor," a voice to her right said. "And he's been reading since he sat himself down. Kind of like you, really."
April turned around so rapidly it was a miracle her neck didn't snap. At the table next to her sat a guy from about her own age, leaned back casually in his chair, watching her. She was almost certain she had never seen him before, and true enough, she would have remembered the gigantic shades that hid his eyes completely or his hair which, quite like her own, was such pale blonde it was almost white. And yet, something about his insensible demeanour, meticulously tuned to radiate a general indifference to anything and everyone, felt strangely familiar.
"You're the one who's been watching me?" she asked, her voice expressing only surprise. It was hardly ever that silent observers came over to introduce themselves. Moreover, how had she not seen him when he had been sitting right next to her the entire time?
"I had to make sure it was you." The way he said it didn't make it sound apologetic in the slightest. "You're April, right? We need to talk."
"Hold up - how do you know my name? Have we met before?"
"No. Look." The guy stood up and grabbed his coat, then slung it over his shoulder nonchalantly. "I will explain everything and answer any questions, but not in here. It's too crowded."
April wasn't sure whether to laugh or to scold. "Are you serious? I have work to do, you know. And in case this wasn't clear, I have no idea who you are."
He nodded. "That's exactly why you'll come along. You have to know." His voice should have sounded smug there, because he had hit the nail on the head. But instead, it sounded completely neutral, tired almost. "Besides, you've been sitting there for four hours and done little else than daydream. You could do with some fresh air, right?"
With that, he turned away without looking back. April stared after him, trying to get a grip of what had just happened. Then she cursed under her breath, flung the heavy book in her bag and sprinted after him.
"Hey! Have you been watching me for four hours?"
*****
The snow from the last few days had piled up nicely and formed a thick cold coating over the visible world. If the temperature kept below freezing a white Christmas would be more than likely. April enjoyed that prospect, even though she wished all the white goo wouldn't make getting around so arduous. Even now they were trudging through over a foot of snow, and while her winter boots and knitted shawl kept her warm enough she realised all the more why this season was best enjoyed from behind a plate of insulated glass.
"I have over an hour until my next lecture," she told her mysterious companion. "So what is this vitally important matter you wished to discuss, whoever you are, anyway?"
"Dave," he said shortly. His hands were dug deep into the pockets of his jacket and he didn't seem to like the cold much. "Cutting to the chase, I'm looking for a friend of mine who disappeared a while ago, and I have it on good authority you can help me."
"That is a mystery," April acknowledged, "but I don't see how I can help. Nobody I knew disappeared recently."
"I didn't say recently," Dave said. His breath morphed into coiling white clouds as he spoke. "It was a few years ago. One day she just stopped contacting us. When we did some searching we found out she had moved away to who knows where."
April shot him a curious sideways glance. "I haven't really kept in touch with any of my high school friends. What did you say the name of this fickle lass was?"
"Rose," Dave said. "She lived on the east coast with her mom and wrote godawful wizard fanfiction all year long like her brain was just a tangled ball of fluffed yarn. I never got whether that was on purpose or not, but whatever. She was crazy in a good way, I guess."
April frowned. The name sounded familiar, but only like any common name would, without ringing any specific bells. Stranger was the mentioning of the east coast – she had never even been that way, let alone lived there long enough to befriend anyone.
"I'm sorry," she said, "but I don't see how I could have known her at all. Who did you say referred you to me exactly?"
"Hold on. I have an old picture of her, which she e-mailed me once." Dave reached into the depths of his coat with one hand. "Maybe you could take a look at it and see if it sparks anything in your memory."
"I don't see how - I've never lived anywhere near her area. I really doubt-"
"Just look at it, will you?"
Reluctantly, April glanced over the picture that was put into her hands. A girl was standing in a cozy, somewhat messy room. Books lay strewn across the floor and bed. Through the window in the background April could see snow, more snow than she herself was standing in, and the outskirts of a forest. She turned the picture over in her hands to see if there was anything she was missing, but there was nothing else.
"Very quaint," she said, looking at the front again with a frown, "but I really don't see…"
The words died on her lips. She saw it now. As if two previously unrelated parts of her brain had suddenly connected, from one moment to another she understood what she was looking at. And somehow that set other thoughts in motion, unstoppable, until a mental whirlwind was blowing around inside her skull, with in the calmness of the center only the initial question, remaining resolutely unanswered.
"How?" she growled, looking up at Dave.
His unmoved expression betrayed nothing as he stood there, arms folded. "I told you. Rose took this picture of herself a few years ago. Showing it to you was the easiest way of reminding you of something you were made to forget… you remember now, don't you?"
"I remember being there," April said, staring in the distance without seeing, looking at the images that welled up in her mind like bubbles of swamp gas. "I remember living there. I know this isn't possible, but it feels as if… as if…"
"As if you once were that girl," Dave finished her sentence perfectly. He touched her cheek lightly, and she snapped out of her trance, stirring as if she had been stung. "You have two lives that are both yours," he added. "One of them was imposed on you three years ago, the other was subdued and stashed away in the dark corners of your mind. What remains is for you to choose between them – decide, if you can, who you think you really are."
April shook her head, in denial, in fear. "This is ridiculous. I know who I am. I can't be more than one person, that's just absurd! These - these aren't my memories!"
"Then say it," Dave insisted, raising his voice for the first time, "tell me you are April! Tell me you know this without a doubt and we'll be done here!"
"I can't!" April clutched her head, unable to repress the memories that seemed to roam freely around her head, memories of names and places, smells, fears, affections – all of them hers and none of them consistent with the life she had been leading. She realized with horror that between all the contrary parts that made up who she was, she was unable to distinguish which were truly hers and which were not – all of them were true!
"If I'm everything, I'm nothing," she whispered aghast. "And if I'm nothing-"
"Don't go there," Dave warned her, putting his hand on her shoulder. "For what it's worth, this problem will solve itself either way. The same procedure that kept those memories suppressed for so long will over time push them back again. Every morning you will remember a little less of them, and of this conversation, until you have forgotten completely about Rose and Dave."
"Why is that?" April asked, horrified. "What's happened to me? And why?"
Dave looked around, taking a moment to think. "I don't really have time to explain right now," he said then, "as they're looking for us. Hunting, actually. We'll meet up somewhere else, I'll tell you exactly where to go. From there on out we can work on solving this. Just remember that eventually the choice to go through with this will have to be yours, and it will have to be made soon. If not, well…" He sighed, for the first time showing something of emotion beneath his cool exterior. "If not, then I guess it was nice talking to you at least once more. I missed you, girl. I really did."
*****
More than two hours later, Dave was sitting on the edge of the roof of a fifteen story building, his back propped against a ventilation unit and his legs stretched out over the icy concrete in front of him. The gusts of wind that pulled at him didn't bother him in the slightest. Having grown up in a cramped apartment high up in a skyscraper, he had always found solace in tasting the fresh air and letting the wind blow his mind clear of the things that bothered him. The roof had been his playground, the crows his playmates, and the sky the limit.
His face was a cool mask as he fiddled with his mobile phone and saved the recording he had just made to a secure source. The server seemed to be running fine still, broadcasting away peacefully, undiscovered by the enforcers. For a moment Dave browsed idly through the hundreds of recordings already there. It always made him feel a little uneasy, insignificant perhaps, to see everything they had done since the start of the Destiny project condensed into a number of audio files. The risk of it being discovered was an even bigger cause for concern. Still, when dealing with brainwashing and mind control it was necessary to have a reference point, to be able to check up on yourself to see if you were really still you. The voice logs, personal and hard to forge, were simply the most efficient tool for that.
They had been Jade's idea, of course, just like the remote server. Dave knew very well they wouldn't have gotten this far without her almost infallible intuition. That only made it more harrowing to see her become less trustworthy and more of a liability with every passing day. Something would have to be done about it and soon, but who would make that decision? Not Egbert, and not Jade herself. It would have to be him again. Somehow, it always had to be him.
Annoyed, he swayed his legs over the edge and on to the gravel. Jade's fate wasn't a concern for now - priority was getting Rose back. She had been pretty freaked out, as expected, but she was a smart girl. With enough evidence to suspect at least something was wrong, she had been willing to follow his instructions and see what could be done about her condition. Whether she had any chance of recovering fully to her old personality remained to be seen. The situation was unprecedented, and they'd just have to roll with the punches.
At any rate, what was done, was done, he thought as he wandered along the roof, looking out over the crowded city streets. Choices had been made and events had been set in motion. Their actions had solicited immediate reactions from the side of the controllers – all within acceptable parameters, but still extremely dangerous. One misstep and it'd all come falling down. Then again, those were the circumstances under which he worked best, and he knew the odds.
"Chance of death, fifty-fifty," he said to himself as he pulled a small gun from inside his jacket. "Is that supposed to be a fucking challenge?"
Out of the blue, the door to the long winding stairwell was flung open with a loud clang, and in the doorway appeared a young man, clad in black and grey, his hand clenched around a pistol that was aimed directly at Dave's chest.
"My playground, bitch," Dave growled, and fired.
*****
Ka-klang, ka-klang. Ka-klang, ka-klang.
The noise of the old subway train speeding through the dark, desolate tunnels was deafening. Every click-clack of the rusty wheels on the jointed track was just a momentary interruption of the continuous creaking of strained metal and the whining of the derelict engine. Outside the tiny windows, endless concrete walling flashed by at indeterminable speed. And inside, a lonely soul was having a major identity crisis while simultaneously trying not to be thrown off her seat by the unremitting quivering of the subway car.
April Newman, she was not. She had been, scant hours ago, but looking back it didn't seem like her life at all, but that of a stranger, perhaps someone she had met once or had befriended on vacation. Looking ahead was even worse – who was this girl, this Rose, that she was supposed to be? She didn't know the first thing about her. How would attempting to be her be any less of a facade than retaining her old persona? At least she was adept at that. At least that was familiar.
She tapped her foot anxiously on the metal floor, starting to feel sick to her stomach. Knowing something was terribly wrong in her head and being unable to fix it by herself made her feel helpless, confused and surprisingly irrational. She wasn't even sure where this train was headed, but without retreat to the rational world she knew and understood she could do little but blindly follow instructions and hope for the best. At any rate, Dave seemed to know what he was talking about. And he had gotten her into this mess to begin with – she hadn't forgotten that, either.
When she let her gaze wander to the front of the car, she suddenly noticed a camera in the top corner, small enough to be inconspicuous but still clearly meant to be visible, and fixed right on her. The fingers of her right hand twitched involuntarily. Keep it cool, she told herself. It's just a security camera, probably not even a real one. It's just there to make people feel watched. It's not after you.
With as much forced self-control as she could muster she stood up and moved to the opposite bench. The camera followed her with a soft whirr. And then she panicked. Trying to get her breathing under control, she stared at her feet and pretended the thing wasn't there, but her heart was racing. While she was not usually susceptible to paranoia, her current vulnerability and Dave's vague warnings about covert assassins fed her imagination in terrible ways. Somewhat desperate, she grasped for something else to latch her mind on to and found the LED display that told her next stop would be end of the line – her destination. The promise of cold, fresh air and open space relieved her tension a little and helped her suppress the urge to scream for the two remaining minutes it took for the train to shakily slide into the terminal. As soon as it stopped and its doors squeaked open she was gone as well.
A hurried flight and a rapid dash up the station steps later she stood outside again, shin-deep in the snow that was coloured orange by a single defunct lamppost. Her lungs felt like they had shrivelled up and her head throbbed with every heartbeat, but worse than that was the sensation of wanting to act on two different instincts at once, one being to shake off the fear and deal with it and the other to go back home and hide under the blankets. She couldn't manage to do either, and so she just stood there, catching her breath, shaking vehemently, waiting for someone to tell her what to do.
There was no-one. She was all alone here. Deserted streets stretched off in every direction, gradually fading away in the milky white haze. Mountainous constructions dominated the skyline, darkly outlined against a plain grey sky. There was not a soul in sight. Once, she knew, this place had been the city's major industrial district, until economic changes had left it obsolete. Now these concrete colossi were subjected to tantalizing decay, their steel-plated bowels shut off and collapsing, the neural network of glassy fibre and copper conductors perishing and crumbling away, having finally yielded to Time's unrelenting melody...
She shook her head, a little dazed, but mainly annoyed. She was well aware the wordiness was an influx from her Rose-self, and she wanted nothing to do with it, just like she resented the cowardice of her April-self. Whatever that even meant. She kicked the lamppost in pure frustration, and some snow came twirling down from the top.
"For God's sake, who the hell am I?"
An eerie whistle cut through the stillness of the air and the frustration April radiated, enticing, fanning the tension in her heart. Her psychological crisis instantly put on stand-by, she looked around, panicky, and tried to locate the source of the sound while fighting an inner struggle on whether to make a run for it or not. Then she found it.
Across the street, hidden in the shadows, stood a tall figure, and for one moment she thought it might be Dave, and her heart jumped. But no – this one's build was different, and his hair couldn't be the pale blonde that would have drawn attention even in this lightless world. Even so, he beckoned for her to come over, which after a moment's hesitation she did, cautiously but well aware that if he was out to kill her he could have easily done so already.
Then they stood together in the shade, and he made no attempts to assault her. She observed him with a sort of suspicious curiosity. He was a youngster, like herself, but with black, messy hair and rectangular glasses that spelled out sincerity like nothing else. The happy, almost excited way in which he looked at her made it clear he knew her, and as with Dave April was positive she did likewise, a memory from her Rose-self that if anything told her he was trustworthy.
"Geez, Rose, I can't believe it's really you." He was grinning like mad, overjoyed perhaps at reuniting with an old friend. April wished she could reciprocate.
"I'm not sure it is," she said simply. "Are you a friend of Dave's?"
"Yeah, he was going to meet you here, but he was kept up, so-"
"Save it. I want to know what's going on, right now."
He started to say something, probably a continuation of another train of thought entirely, but then her words registered and he fell silent. He thought.
"What?" he said finally.
She poked a finger in his chest, rather less subtle than she was used to. "You heard me. I want answers. I want to know what the hell's happened to me. I want to know how to fix it. And I want to know what is up with all this secrecy, this hiding and running and paranoia. It's driving me crazy, alright?"
His face contorted into a puzzled frown. "There's not much time-"
"Make time. I'm not going anywhere otherwise."
"Listen, Rose-"
"I'm not Rose!" she snapped, suddenly exploding mentally and having only one target to discharge on. Her uncertainties coloured her words cruder than she would have otherwise imagined, but she was just so sick of dangling over this gap, of balancing on the edge of madness, that she could only vent it out word for noxious word.
"How can you speak to me like that?" she continued, her arms hanging cramped by her sides. "Why talk to me on such unfair terms? Have you any idea how wasted I feel right now, how scared I am? You can't dump this crap on me and then deny me help, and you have no right to show up here all friendly like and pretend it'll all be better now you're here! Because, as I already told your hipster buddy, I don't know you. I have no idea who you are. So don't speak to me like we're friends. Don't call me by a name that isn't mine. If you have any respect for me, you'll treat me like the girl I am – to you, a stranger – and if not, you can just get the hell out of here this instant!"
And with that, it was out, and she felt like she might just faint, and sure enough the ground seemed to leap up at her, and she closed her eyes for the blow. But when it didn't hit her and she dared to look again she found the guy was holding her up, supporting her with his arms. And to her surprise, a grin appeared on his face, no less sincere than before, without a hint of blame or anger.
"You're kind of crazy," he said, carefully setting her back on her feet, "but you are right, and I'm sorry. I can't even begin to imagine how confusing and frightening all of this must be for you." He extended his hand. "April, isn't it?"
April let her breath escape and shook his hand gingerly. "It is," she said. "I... thanks."
"No problem. I'm John." He looked down one of the snow-covered streets, then checked his watch. "Do you mind if we talk while walking? We're really short on time, and the longer we hang around the bigger the odds of getting a bullet in the head."
"Please tell me that's an exaggeration," April said weakly. "What... who are you guys?"
John's smile looked particularly grim as he pulled his hood up and hid the top half of his face in shadow. "We are the last remaining humans in charge of their own lives," he said. "And that doesn't stroke with the plans of some others. That's why they're after us. To prevent us from curing people. To stifle our progress when we're still a small group."
"Last remaining?" April felt the urge to sit down somewhere and think of nothing at all for a while. "Does that mean..."
"Yeah. You're not the only one who used to be someone else." John patted her on the shoulder, a feeble sign of compassion, of futility.
"You're one of about seven billion."
Then he started walking, through the snow, down the street, step by step, in silence.
After a while, she followed in his footsteps.
*****
The warehouse was one of the smaller buildings in the area, a brick construction with tiny, high-set windows. The front entrances, large enough for entire trucks to pass through, were chained solidly to the ground, and the chains had consequently rusted and frozen, making them impossible to unlock even if you had the keys. Not that anyone would want to – presumably, a generation of thieves had already halted there, given the building a long, hard look, and decided it just wasn't worth the effort, not with the hourly wages and the prices of heavy machinery and so on.
And so it was that, when John and April entered through the small, keypad-locked back door and strolled into the large hall, everything was more or less as it had been left when the district was locked down, only with a lot more dust and rat droppings. Most of the walls were filled with tall shelves who in turn were stacked were empty cardboard boxes and rusty tools and, for the most part, nothing at all. The light was dim and unpleasant and prone to flickering, and for some reason someone had dumped a huge metal freight container against the wall, conveniently sheltering off a portion of the room which turned out to have a large batch of computer equipment in it.
April counted sixteen monitors, almost all of which were displaying live security footage from outside. Only one was doing something else, and it was doing it with a lot of noise and flashing lights, expressing extreme urgency at an incoming call. There was a timer at the bottom; whoever was trying to contact them had been doing so for several minutes already.
John saw it too, and immediately jumped at the keyboard, cursing under his breath. The screen flashed, then changed to display a picture of – and this was when April shrieked in terror – Dave, who seemed to be in a darkened chamber of sorts. Even in that little light, it was obvious he was badly wounded, with his right arm covered in blood and his face wet with sweat.
"Jesus, Egbert," he hissed, "am I calling at a bad time?"
"We… we just got back," John said, seemingly mesmerized by the horrific spectacle on the screen. "We had to take the long way, enforcers are everywhere searching for us… Dave, where are you?"
"Don't know. Some hospital." Dave sat back in his chair panting. He looked as if he could pass out any moment. "I'll try to get to you. Don't wait, though. Get her fixed up and get out. This is turning worse by the moment."
"You can't go anywhere in that state!" April butted in. The image made her feel sick to her stomach but she couldn't look away. "If you can't trust anyone else, then we'll come to you!"
"No," Dave said. His head lolled on his neck for a moment, but then he focused on the screen again. "No, if you leave there, it's all for nothing. Can you tell me… who you are?"
"I-" April started, but realized she had no idea what to say. "I don't know," she admitted. "I don't feel like anybody."
Dave nodded painfully. "That's why… you have to stay. We will meet-"
He was interrupted by someone knocking forcefully on the door. A grimace appeared on his face. "Shit," he said. "I think they're he-"
The screen turned to static.
April and John stared at the flickering black and white dots, speechless. John was the first to drop his gaze. "He… can handle himself," he said, unconvincingly. "He'll be fine."
"That's bullshit!" April exclaimed, shocked. "We have to help him right now!"
"We don't even know where he is," John stressed, standing up. "We have our own job to do now, Rose."
"Job my ass!" she said, pointing a trembling finger at him. "He's dying out there! And I told you not to call me-"
"Rose?" a third voice said, silencing their quibble immediately. They both turned their heads, John in relief, April in surprise. Next to the freight containers stood a girl of their own age, with black hair and green eyes, watching them curiously. She wore normal winter clothing, but her left side appeared to be covered in black bandages underneath, hiding her left arm and half of her face, though not her eye. Her large round glasses and buck teeth only accentuated her wistful eyes and friendly, somewhat naïve smile, both of which April got a close look at as the girl jumped at her and pulled her into such a tight hug she thought she might break a rib or two.
"My god, Rose, it's really you! You're back!" she squeaked happily. "I thought I'd never see you again!"
"Jade, what were you doing?" John cut in, saving April an awkward response. His tone was somewhere between worry and annoyance and was enough to silence the black-haired girl immediately. Her smile faded as she let go of April and turned toward him, avoiding his gaze with the air of someone who knows herself to be guilty but would rather not hear it.
"I… was just checking out some of the other rooms, I…"
"Why? You were supposed to stay right here. We nearly missed Dave's call because you weren't around."
Jade stared at her toes. "I'm… I'm not sure what I was thinking. I was just looking for flowers."
"Flowers?" April blurted, then covered her mouth in embarrassment. John merely shook his head tiredly, rubbing his temple with his hand as though he had a headache.
"Fine, whatever," he said. "I'm going to check on the exits and see if the equipment's ready for the procedure. You guys don't go anywhere, alright? I mean, for real this time." He sauntered off without waiting for an answer, seemingly deprived of energy from one moment to the next. Jade looked after him with large, sad eyes.
"I think I hurt him," she said quietly to April. "I don't want to hurt him. I want to help. But I just keep messing up lately, it's like I can't focus on what I'm doing at all…"
April forced herself to smile. "Hey, don't worry. Some people are just a little forgetful from time to time. It's part of who you are."
"It's not that," Jade said, now turning her sad stare on April. "My thoughts used to be so much clearer. I actually managed to save John and Dave from the virus when this all started. It seems so long ago now, but I remember being pretty proud of myself. Until I got sick, I guess. It sort of went downhill with my usefulness from there."
She slumped into one of the crude office chairs and stared dejectedly at the wall. April just stood for a moment, trying to find anything to say that wouldn't sound hopelessly patronizing. Then, with a sigh, she sat down on an empty piece of desk and clutched her forehead. Her mind was bubbling with worries about Dave. Was he really headed their way right now, slogging through the snow while clutching his wounded arm? Or had he been captured, or killed? April's fingers rapped on the metal as she anxiously envisioned Dave's lifeless body being zipped up in a black bag and disposed of so discretely you wouldn't find a square inch of it back. Then it made her nauseous and she tried to turn her attention elsewhere, looking back at the girl called Jade who seemed to stare out at nothing in particular.
"So, hey," she said awkwardly. "You were pretty excited to see me back there, right?"
Jade's gaze, while not actually moving at all, seemed to withdraw from somewhere invisible and focus on her instead.
"I thought I was, but… well, you're not really Rose at all, are you? You look like her, but you're different."
"Tell me about it." April grimaced. "I don't really want to talk about it right now, though. It's driving me mad."
Jade nodded, either thoughtfully or absent-mindedly, April couldn't tell. "Is there anything else you want to talk about, then? We have to wait anyway."
April folded her arms and leaned forward. "John told me everyone, literally everyone, has been, like, brainwashed in some way. I'm a little vague on that, to put it mildly."
"It would be hard to comprehend if you didn't go through it and came out the other side with your mind still yours," Jade agreed. "And I guess the technical details would be wasted on you if you didn't have at least an above-expert grasp on ectomorphology."
"On what?"
"Yeah. But basically what you said sums it up nicely. The hardest part was getting the Dream into everyone's minds. That's what they created the virus for, to scare people into taking the vaccine they had prepared." She smiled sagely. "Wouldn't you choose a fake life over a real death?"
"What I would do I don't know. But it seems clear to me what Rose did." April clenched her fist involuntarily. Of course, Rose must have not have another choice – she tried to imagine everyone around her dying, and there being a cure up for grabs, and she knew what was logical to do. And yet, because of that, the past three years of her life had been a lie. Every choice she had made, predetermined. Was that really any different than being dead? Was it even survival?
"Don't be so hard on yourself," Jade said, her voice a shade concerned. "We're all glad you did what you did. You wouldn't be here otherwise."
April huffed. "It's not myself I blame, it's Rose."
"Your other self, then. You should realize by now there aren't two different people – both Rose and April are you."
"I just said I didn't want to talk about it, didn't I?" The sharpness of her tone was unintended, but it reflected her emotions with more clarity than the words themselves could.
Jade was taken aback for a moment, but then her brow furrowed and her voice got a surprisingly cold, almost steely quality to it.
"Well, and what about it? I'm sorry you feel bad. We all do. Only we're out here risking our lives to bring you back, and I'd very much appreciate you showing at least some respect if gratitude is too damn hard for you."
She didn't actually raise her voice, not once, but April suddenly realized how she had to appear to these people, how blunt and whiny and self-involved, and she felt her face turn red. But already Jade's features softened and she walked over to her friend, putting her non-bandaged hand on her knee.
"Look, April… no offense, but you don't know what we've been through. When you… when Rose disappeared and we couldn't find her anywhere, and then when people were dying everywhere and we knew others were out to kill us, we really got desperate at times, we really had to fight just to keep our legs moving and our minds on surviving. Do you have any idea how hard it is to fight and fight with no end for years on end?"
She shook her head, searching for words. "The world… changed around us, it was so bizarre. Entire cities disappeared and were reconstructed from scratch elsewhere. Millions of people migrated, walking the roads like empty husks, completely unaware of what was happening. It was like a horror movie, only the horror was everywhere and it never stopped."
Tired, she sank back on her chair and leaned against the cold steel of the container.
"There were others like us, too," she said, slowly, drowsily. "People who had somehow managed to refine or create their own cures. But the enforcers were relentless and killed anyone that showed signs of independence. If anyone besides us survived, they must have withdrawn to the wilderness or to abandoned cities, I don't know… it was horrible. It still is, every single day. All of it is. Horrible."
She closed her eyes and breathed heavily, occasionally stirring at visions burned into the inside of her mind, things she would never unsee again. April could almost feel the misery radiating off her. As she quietly let her fingers run over the keyboard next to her, she couldn't help but wonder if it was all worth it, to fight every single day while you could live a perfectly happy live without ever knowing you weren't really in control. How was that even different from before Destiny? Had people ever been certain of their autonomy, of their ability to choose their lives as they wished? She didn't think they had. And yet... knowing for certain she had not been in control was infinitely more stressful than merely assuming she might not have been. Now that she was aware that humans were merely manipulating humans into conflict, misery and hate for reasons too gruesome to imagine, the responsibility of changing it had fallen to her as well. And while that was a heavy burden to carry, she took a little pride in the fact that for Dave, Jade and John that load had just become a little lighter – another day, another chance to win.
Thinking of Dave made her frown again, but suddenly she felt more purposeful, more able than before. She swirled around, checking out the security footage for any sign of action. There was nothing to see but snow and darkness, though. In fact, it seemed to have started snowing again, which would only diminish the sight. Frustrated, she tapped her fingers on the desktop. "I wish there was some way to know where he was," she said, half to the computer and half to herself. "This is just spiting."
"It's not that hard," Jade muttered sleepily, opening one lazy eye. "We all carry transmitters on an encoded, rotating frequency. Here, let me show you…" She got up, pushed April aside and tapped one or two buttons. One of the screens changed to reveal a map of the district , with a green and a blue dot blinking close to each other and a third, red dot flashing some ways away. April only needed a moment to figure out what way was up, and then jumped up so roughly her chair fell over with a loud clanking.
"He's only three streets away!" she exclaimed, pointing at the screen. "And he's not moving. We have to go and fetch him!"
She turned to Jade, who seemed surprised. "Fetch him? But John told us to stay here. It's only a matter of time before they find us, and we have to destroy the Dream that's in your mind before then. There's no time for anything else."
"We'll make time," April dismissed her protests. "He needs our help, you know that."
"I think he would have wanted you to stay as well," Jade said unhappily. "I know it's hard, I really do. But Dave told us so many times he knew the risks and accepted the consequences. He wouldn't want to get us in trouble any more."
"That's not his choice to make." April grabbed her coat and flung it on. "And neither is it John's. That guy even told me that there was no way of finding Dave! Hypocritical bastards, both of them. They're just as bad as these controllers of yours."
"You don't mean that," Jade said, looking worried but making no attempt to stop her from leaving. "Do you?"
"No," April assured her, fastening her buttons, "I guess not. But after three years of living the life I've been told to live, I'm not going to spend my new-found freedom taking orders. This is my choice, and I'll deal with whatever new consequences arise from it."
Jade smiled. "I think I understand. I'll tell John when he comes back. Oh, and you might want to take this." She turned around, opened a drawer and tossed April a small gun. "Do you know how to use it?"
April caught the firearm dexterously, checked to see if the safety was still on, and slid it in her pocket. "I have some basic experience," she lied, thinking of the magazine on safe use of firearms she had once leafed through in the dentist's waiting room. "I'll be fine. You be ready to receive us when we get back – if I risk my life to get that guy out alive, he had better damn well make it through afterwards to acknowledge it."
*****
The wind had picked up to a steady gale, and the snowflakes cut like razors into April's cheeks as she pushed open the door. Shielding her eyes from the icy projectiles, she ran down the street as fast as she could, the fresh snow crisping under her shoes. For the first time that day since Dave had talked to her she had a clear sense of what she was doing, and it felt good, familiar. Now she was able to push her fears back far enough not to hinder her, and strode on grimly, trying not to think about what lay ahead, knowing that the only logical conclusion would be to turn back. And she didn't want to hear it.
The path she took led her down a wide street, then through an ancient parking lot where all sorts of rubble and metal were lying in wait under the snow. One or two decayed car carcasses watched her impassively with their cracked headlights. She looked around nervously. It would be hard to see her in this weather from any reasonable distance, but out in the open she still felt vulnerable, almost expecting a shot to crack at a any moment. She knew what was lurking the streets. She had seen one of them on the way here, a silent figure that was little more than a shadow in the wind, and disappeared before she knew what she was looking at. John told her that if they had been spotted, they would have been dead, and she knew he wasn't exaggerating.
So she kept to the shadows while she could, and kept her weapon close to hand. She hoped she would be able to use it if the need arose. She hoped even stronger that the need wouldn't arise.
She hoped Dave was alright.
Finally, she reached the street where she remembered last seeing him, and peeked around the corner cautiously. It seemed no different from all the others, which was to say it was wide, flat and covered in snow. Structures rose up on either side, but whereas those to her right were merely low, ugly warehouses, the one to her left was massive in size and intimidating in build. There was a fence round it, or what was left of one. The gates hung open and swayed in the wind, creaking with every twist.
There was, of course, no-one to be seen. April cursed silently as she found herself trembling, from cold but from tension as well. If Dave was still around, perhaps passed out, he would probably be covered in snow right now, which not only made him hard to find but also provided a real threat to his health. As if he needed another one.
Carefully, step by step as if testing the ice, April ventured out into the open, scanning the snow for any tracks or piles that could indicate a snowed-under person. Inside her head, parts of her mind were yelling at each other to send her body into completely different directions. As her anxiety grew, the difference between Rose and April became clearer, the choice between fight or flight harder. She tried to ignore it, focusing her gaze on details, trying to find any sign of Dave having even been here. There had to be something at least, footprints or even a trail of blood, but with all this damn snow that just kept falling and falling…
And there it was, suddenly, just when she thought she might panic. Tracks, already very faint and shallow, that led from the road on to the terrain of the gigantic building. April looked up at it worriedly. It was a giant hulk of a structure, with three immensely tall pipes on top, one of which had broken off near the top and most likely crashed through the roof. It was not a building that invited the use of terms like 'stable' or 'solid'. Even so, she had no choice but to follow the tracks, which she did, with a nasty taste in her mouth.
The front doors were gone, nowhere to be seen. The prints in the snow led straight towards them, and continued on the dusty concrete inside. April's lips tightened as she noticed some red beneath the white here and there. She went inside as quickly as she could without making any sound, sneaking into the dark room until she could no longer see any kind of trail. Then she looked around, listening, searching for a hint where to go next.
There was none. All was dark and quiet.
Had she wished for silence in the howling winds outside, now she wished for sound, but there were no footsteps, no groans of pain or even shallow breathing. As her eyes got used to the darkness, she discerned several passageways leading off and realised that for a stranger this place would be a maze. Why would Dave hide here, she wondered, annoyed. That would make him almost impossible to find. Getting out of the cold was one thing, but this almost made it seem like he didn't want to be found…
Oh.
April's hand tightened on her pistol as it dawned on her. Dave hadn't managed to get rid of his pursuers. At least one had probably followed him. Why else would he hide so close to his destination? She held her gun up in front of her and flashed her eyes from left to right. What the hell was she going to do now?
Turn back, one part of her said, turn back and get out. You can't help him anymore. Even if he's still alive, that only means that someone's inside here with him, someone who would kill you as easily as he'd swat a fly. Get out while you can.
April shook her head. It was so tempting to give in to that voice. But another part of her was pushing just as hard to ignore it. It urged her to think, to watch, learn and think. Desperately, she closed her eyes, and let her mind go over the facts.
She had a gun which she was almost sure she could fire. She had the element of surprise, considering that in this maze of hallways, even an enforcer wouldn't know where she was coming from, assuming he'd even know she was there at all. That was her advantage – she knew he was here somewhere, but he didn't know the same about her. Granted, it wasn't much, but if it could just give her an edge…
She would only have one shot. She had to find him, get close enough to fire accurately without him noticing, then hope the gun worked and the bullet would hit. If it wouldn't work, she wouldn't have much time to regret it, anyway.
So. Well. She opened her eyes and looked around. She was still very close to one end of the building, she recalled. If Dave was trying to lose his pursuer he'd go the other way, deeper into the maze. She nodded to herself. It seemed logical, at least, so now she had not only something like a plan but also a direction. Another deep breath, and she scurried off into what looked like a main passageway. Her fingers traced the wall as she plunged herself into the darkness. Soon, the last bit of light behind her had faded away, and she was all alone in that corridor, or so she hoped, at least.
Then, to her surprise, there literally seemed to be light at the end of the tunnel. That was strange, as on the outside of the building there hadn't been any windows on this floor. She advanced with extreme caution, sidling along the smooth stone, until she reached the end of the corridor, where lots of rubble covered the floor, almost causing her to trip.
When she looked around the corner, she saw why.
The huge pipe that had broken in half had crashed down on the roof right above and taken with it all the cheap, fragile floors in its wake before smashing itself to pieces on the solid ground floor. Through the consecutive holes, each an easy ten foot in diameter, the light of night twirled into the room, as did thousands of snowflakes that had already left a thick veneer on most of the rubble.
And in the middle of the room stood a figure in a long coat, looking down on a shape that lay near the other wall, huddled up, covered in blood and snow.
"You have fought for a very long time."
All the hairs in April's neck rose up as if charged with electricity. The voice was calm like a corpse is calm, and clean like a meticulously polished dagger. It suggested some very clear ideas of what the world ought to be like and precisely who should not be in it, along with the ability to put those ideas into practice.
"Always persisting. Always escaping. You are stubborn. I admire that, in a way. We both fight and kill for a future we wish to realize. We both want to shape that future to our own visions." The intonation changed almost imperceptibly, like a sword being drawn, an axe being raised. Like poison dripping in your drink.
"It is a shame your visions are so very wrong," the man said. "Otherwise you might yet live."
A soft clicking indicated a gun being cocked. The shape on the ground stirred. The man aimed his weapon at the shape, controlled, without a fuss.
And April yelled.
She didn't yell anything in particular, just a meaningless shout of fear and helplessness, the only result of her thoughts crashing into each other wildly without forming a coherent thought. The next moment she was staring into the barrel of the stranger's gun, and into his eyes, which were brown and surprised. An inch away from death, April was frozen to the floor, unable to move or breathe as she waited for the shot that would end it all.
And waited.
Nothing happened. They just stared at each other.
Then, to her astonishment, the man lowered his gun, relaxed his posture.
"You should not be here. It's not safe." He didn't sound worried. If anything, his tone held a tinge of pity. "Go home, then, and go to bed. I promise you that by tomorrow, you won't even remember this happened, and be glad that you don't."
She could only watch as he turned, away from her, out of her grasp, back to the slumped shape on the floor. Snowflakes fell down around him as he raised his gun for the last time. It glinted in the moonlight. Steel.
The shot echoed through the empty corridors, crude and ugly. A couple of rats fled from the dreadful sound, scurrying and scratching over the freezing floor.
Silence returned, settling like the dust.
*****
Sometimes, one arrives in the nick of time only to find that it is still too late. Sometimes, promises that are broken with good intentions will never be repaired, and nor will breaking them have made a difference.
Sometimes, even trusting yourself can be the hardest thing to do.
*****
The girl stepped over the body, without even bothering to check it. There was no need. The bullet had entered right at the base of the skull and come out the other side in a small fountain of blood. The gun fell from her stiff fingers and clattered on the floor as she knelt down at the other shape, the one that was pail of hair and skin. Her other hand reached out blindly, found the sunglasses. She put them on his face, where they belonged. He stirred.
"Who…?" he said, and it was all he had breath for. He tried to lift his arm, trembling, weak. "Who…?"
The girl seized his hand in mid-air, led it to her face, cupped it around her cheek.
"It's me," she said, and her voice was almost a whisper.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Holy crap, Sleaw. That was actually a really good story. The descriptions in particular were fantastic. I guess the only criticism I have is that the dialogue seemed a bit unnatural at times, but that's easily fixed and overall it was really good. It's clear that you put a huge amount of effort into it, and it shows.
I didn't really see much about it that relied on Homestuck to work--you could probably change the names of the characters (and I guess their descriptions), and have it be proper original fiction rather than fanfiction.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Taking a break from rewriting Crossing Over to bring you this thing
Doubt I'm gonna continue it and there's no way this hasn't been done a million times before (and despite not naming it, it's going to be completely obvious what this is)
I guess I'm just writing it to be writing something
Open memo:
-- jumpingMycophile [JM] opened memo on discussion board Pregame Preparations --
JM: Hello!
JM: I opened thisa memo so everybody will know whata team you will bea playing on, when we begin the game.
JM: There will be three teams! I will bea the leader of Teama Red.
-- runningRiot [RR] responded to memo.
RR: and I'm heading up Team Blue!
JM: The thirda team will be headed by that no gooda jackass who keepsa kidnapping my girlfriend!
-- spikedBrutality [SB] responded to memo.
SB: HEY MAN, WHAT THE HELL?
SB: YOU'RE BIPOLAR AS ALL FUCK, YOU KNOW THAT?
SB: ONE DAY WE'RE RACING GO-KARTS AND PLAYING TENNIS, ALL BUDDY-BUDDY
SB: AND THEN THE NEXT YOU'RE HARSHING MY BUZZ ABOUT THE THIRTY OR SO TIMES I STOLE YOUR GIRL
SB: I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND YOUR THOUGHT PROCESS. EVEN THE VERY ATTEMPT AT DOING SO IS ENOUGH TO MAKE MY BLOOD BOIL! )>:o -=o)
JM: What kinda smiley face is that?
SB: IT IS MY FEARSOME HORNED FACE SCOWLING AT YOU AS I BREATHE FIRE IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION.
RR: really man? because it kind of looks like a huge tool about to eat a clown
SB: OH FUCK YOU. WHEN THE HELL DID YOU TWO GET SO CHUMMY ANYWAY? I REMEMBER BACK WHEN YOU WERE AT EACH OTHER'S THROATS!
JM: God, enougha this.
-- jumpingMycophile BANNED spikedBrutality from responding to memo.
JM: Anyway! Here area the team rosters.
-- jumpingMycophile uploaded the file "rosters.txt" to memo.
eternalSidekick [ES] responded to memo.
ES: hey big bro, just got the roster anda
ES: we uh
ES: we aren't on the samea team
ES: how come
JM: Don'ta worry, little brother!
JM: We are justa organizing into teams as a sorta friendly competition, to see how can rack up the higha score!
JM: And it would nota be very fair at all to put botha brothers on the samea team, no?
ES: no i supposea not
-- eternalSidekick [ES] ceased responding to memo.
-- chronoWarrior [CW] responded to memo.
CW: *glares at JM angrily*
JM: Mama mia, CW, what isa wrong?
CW: *scoffs at JM indicating that he should have already known putting CW on the same team as that jackass who keeps trying to overthrow the kingdom was a bad idea*
JM: And whya the hell you gotta emote so much?
JM: *picks upa a stick and flails his armsa round like a moron*
JM: Hey everybody, I can be a huge idiot witha sword too!
JM: Err wait, hold on.
JM: *shoots everyone a stare thata shows he can lame it up just as hard as CW*
JM: There, was thata good enougha for you?
CW: *is taken aback by the suggestion that a sword is somehow not the best weapon there is*
JM: I'm not getting into thisa discussion again.
JM: Hammers are and will alwaysa be better than swords.
JM: That'sa really all there is toa say on the matter.
-- jumpingMycophile BANNED chronoWarrior from responding to memo.
JM: If there are any othera comments, pleasea pester me, RR or SB.
JM: I'ma gonna get to installing this thing.
JM: Thank you so mucha for reading my memo!
-- runningRiot [RR] ceased responding to memo.
-- jumpingMycophile [JM] ceased responding to memo.
-- jumpingMycophile [JM] closed memo.
Open pesterlog:
-- warriorsHeart [WH] began pestering jumpingMycophile [JM] --
WH: < =o So. Tonight's the night, I suppose.
WH: < =o I've fought so many battles, against opponents you couldn't believe.
JM: I don'ta know, I've battled SB many times and he justa keeps getting stranger and stranger.
WH: < =o Is he the one who yells a lot? Eh, it doesn't matter.
WH: < =o My point is, I've been able to defeat many opponents on the battlefield, but I'm powerless to stop you from doing what you're about to do.
WH: < =o What you're about to unleash has implications you can't possibly imagine.
WH: < =o I guess what I'm saying is... you'll only win if you keep your heart in the fight.
WH: < =o The fight is everything, and if you don't keep that spirit of battle, you can't hope to defeat what lies ahead.
WH: < =o That's all I'm gonna tell you. Keep it in mind.
-- warriorsHeart [WH] ceased pestering jumpingMycophile [JM] --
Notes:
THIS
IS
INCREDIBLY
SILLY
I swear I've got to stop writing just any dumb idea that pops into my head
Also, this is probably exactly what you think it is
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by ceruleanTresses
Holy crap, Sleaw. That was actually a really good story. The descriptions in particular were fantastic. I guess the only criticism I have is that the dialogue seemed a bit unnatural at times, but that's easily fixed and overall it was really good. It's clear that you put a huge amount of effort into it, and it shows.
I didn't really see much about it that relied on Homestuck to work--you could probably change the names of the characters (and I guess their descriptions), and have it be proper original fiction rather than fanfiction.
Yeah, I felt the same way. The characters didn't really have anything to mark them as themselves either (Rose I can forgive, due to brainwashing, but Dave and John sounded equally generic and kind of... you could have called them Bob and Joe and I REALLY wouldn't have known the difference)
i mean, definetly an interesting story, solid premise, but not very homestuck-y... TBH you should file the serial numbers off (ie, change everybody's names) and make it original fic.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Thanks and thanks! Yes, you are right. I had trouble getting a grasp on their personalities and so I guess they actually became different ones! I'll tell you worse though: I actually have trouble with this in other stories I write as well. Somehow, all my characters become more or less generic, no matter how they look in my head. It's something I'll definitely try to work on. Thanks a lot for reading and commenting!
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by Sleaw
Thanks and thanks! Yes, you are right. I had trouble getting a grasp on their personalities and so I guess they actually became different ones! I'll tell you worse though: I actually have trouble with this in other stories I write as well. Somehow, all my characters become more or less generic, no matter how they look in my head. It's something I'll definitely try to work on. Thanks a lot for reading and commenting!
Some advice for that - the way I learned to write character was, believe it or not, by roleplaying; and in turn the way I got good at THAT was to read a LOT of character dialog. In fact, the way I started with the first character I ever roleplayed (from fandom) was to literally copy down his dialog by hand from a printout of the game script while watching videos of him speaking. That got me to really think about how he spoke, the words he'd use, and in general how he'd behave.
believe it or not, a lot of writers I know do this when they want to master a particular style. It's really helpful with fanfic. So, if you want to do more Homestuck, go copy some pesterlogs and some of Hussie's narratives (don't post 'em anywhere, just do it for yourself)
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by Altum
Originally Posted by Aerodactylus
@Altum: That was really cool! I figured it was something Jewgish, but I don't know anything about Jewgish holidays other than the ones the Rugrats covered back in the day.
Thanks! I am not a Purim expert either, and I wrote it for my friend who is Orthodox that just got into Homestuck, so I was NERVOUS. I stuck to what I knew and stayed vague on the rest, and I think it worked out pretty well! There are some specific traditions of Purim involved here--plays and retellings of Esther's story (aka, the megillah, from whence the expression 'the whole megillah' entered English!), cookies shaped like Haman's hat, noisemakers used to drown out Haman's name every time it's spoken in the play, costumes and the exchange of small gifts of food.
The story goes like this:
The Jewish people are living as an unpopular minority in the Persian Empire, when the King of Persia decides to take a new wife. His eye lands on Esther, who discreetly hides her background as he courts her. This brings the king's evil vizier, Haman, into contact with Mordecai, Esther's uncle, who manages to offend him repeatedly. Haman schemes to wipe out not just Mordecai but the entire Jewish people, currently in exile in Persia, but with Esther's advice Mordecai wins the King's favor and earns the Jews not freedom from Haman's death squads but the right to defend themselves; they kick a lot of ass, and Mordecai takes Haman's place at the King's right hand.
The genesis and key joke of the whole thing is invisible to anyone who doesn't know about the Purim story, though--it is the one holiday I know of that ends with a hanging! Of course it's Terezi's favorite. The casting, I guess, is probably obvious.
That WOULD be Terezi's favorite. I'm familiar with the story of Esther (the Book of Esther in the Bible is the same story), but I didn't realize Jews had a holiday for it (although now that I think about it, it would make sense).
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by Altum
Originally Posted by Aerodactylus
@Altum: That was really cool! I figured it was something Jewgish, but I don't know anything about Jewgish holidays other than the ones the Rugrats covered back in the day.
Thanks! I am not a Purim expert either, and I wrote it for my friend who is Orthodox that just got into Homestuck, so I was NERVOUS. I stuck to what I knew and stayed vague on the rest, and I think it worked out pretty well! There are some specific traditions of Purim involved here--plays and retellings of Esther's story (aka, the megillah, from whence the expression 'the whole megillah' entered English!), cookies shaped like Haman's hat, noisemakers used to drown out Haman's name every time it's spoken in the play, costumes and the exchange of small gifts of food.
The story goes like this:
The Jewish people are living as an unpopular minority in the Persian Empire, when the King of Persia decides to take a new wife. His eye lands on Esther, who discreetly hides her background as he courts her. This brings the king's evil vizier, Haman, into contact with Mordecai, Esther's uncle, who manages to offend him repeatedly. Haman schemes to wipe out not just Mordecai but the entire Jewish people, currently in exile in Persia, but with Esther's advice Mordecai wins the King's favor and earns the Jews not freedom from Haman's death squads but the right to defend themselves; they kick a lot of ass, and Mordecai takes Haman's place at the King's right hand.
The genesis and key joke of the whole thing is invisible to anyone who doesn't know about the Purim story, though--it is the one holiday I know of that ends with a hanging! Of course it's Terezi's favorite. The casting, I guess, is probably obvious.
That WOULD be Terezi's favorite. I'm familiar with the story of Esther (the Book of Esther in the Bible is the same story), but I didn't realize Jews had a holiday for it (although now that I think about it, it would make sense).
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Hanukkah gets all the press because it's close to Christmas, but from what I understand from my Jewish friends, Purim is actually a bigger deal. It's one of the most 'fun' Jewish holidays, and not explicitly religious, although it is officially classed as a miracle. There is actually a Purim fic exchange on Livejournal, as a parallel/companion to Yuletide. /beetips
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
I'm not much good at plotting and descriptions (which you don't seem to have any issue with anyway), but I can offer some advice on character development I guess?
What I like to do is come up with the bare bones of a character, and then postulate different scenarios and decide how the character would handle them. As I go through the scenarios, the character gets fleshed out more and more. Eventually, I can derive the character's response to a new scenario by considering the logical outcome of her background and personality traits, and the character continues to evolve.
Then, to make it come across in the actual story, there are a number of things you can do. One method--illustrated beautifully by Homestuck--is to give each character a unique speech pattern and/or unique mannerisms. Another is to include scenes in the story that function as defining character moments (while, ideally, also moving the plot). But the most important thing, I think, is to let the characters drive the story. If you come up with a plot, and then characters to put in it, then they will by necessity become generic because they have to carry out the plot as it's written.
I hope that is helpful! I really did like the story. The scenario is a rich one and could easily be adapted to a longer work, like a novella.
Edit:
Originally Posted by lucidSeraph
Some advice for that - the way I learned to write character was, believe it or not, by roleplaying
Same here. In fact that's basically what I was saying about the scenarios, except worded much more succinctly. It really does help a great deal, because it forces you to figure out what they'd do on the fly, until thinking like the character becomes second nature to you.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by ceruleanTresses
I'm not much good at plotting and descriptions (which you don't seem to have any issue with anyway), but I can offer some advice on character development I guess?
What I like to do is come up with the bare bones of a character, and then postulate different scenarios and decide how the character would handle them. As I go through the scenarios, the character gets fleshed out more and more. Eventually, I can derive the character's response to a new scenario by considering the logical outcome of her background and personality traits, and the character continues to evolve.
Then, to make it come across in the actual story, there are a number of things you can do. One method--illustrated beautifully by Homestuck--is to give each character a unique speech pattern and/or unique mannerisms. Another is to include scenes in the story that function as defining character moments (while, ideally, also moving the plot). But the most important thing, I think, is to let the characters drive the story. If you come up with a plot, and then characters to put in it, then they will by necessity become generic because they have to carry out the plot as it's written.
I hope that is helpful! I really did like the story. The scenario is a rich one and could easily be adapted to a longer work, like a novella.
Edit:
Originally Posted by lucidSeraph
Some advice for that - the way I learned to write character was, believe it or not, by roleplaying
Same here. In fact that's basically what I was saying about the scenarios, except worded much more succinctly. It really does help a great deal, because it forces you to figure out what they'd do on the fly, until thinking like the character becomes second nature to you.
Whoa, that's almost definitely one of the things I've been doing wrong. I do tend to focus a lot on building a plot first and then almost adding the characters in when the framework's already there, leaving no room for them at all to move around on their own. If I try what you say - getting to know the character before I actually start writing - it should work out better. To be honest, I never even suspected that's where the problem might lie, so thanks! I will try it out!
Originally Posted by lucidSeraph
Originally Posted by Sleaw
Thanks and thanks! Yes, you are right. I had trouble getting a grasp on their personalities and so I guess they actually became different ones! I'll tell you worse though: I actually have trouble with this in other stories I write as well. Somehow, all my characters become more or less generic, no matter how they look in my head. It's something I'll definitely try to work on. Thanks a lot for reading and commenting!
Some advice for that - the way I learned to write character was, believe it or not, by roleplaying; and in turn the way I got good at THAT was to read a LOT of character dialog. In fact, the way I started with the first character I ever roleplayed (from fandom) was to literally copy down his dialog by hand from a printout of the game script while watching videos of him speaking. That got me to really think about how he spoke, the words he'd use, and in general how he'd behave.
believe it or not, a lot of writers I know do this when they want to master a particular style. It's really helpful with fanfic. So, if you want to do more Homestuck, go copy some pesterlogs and some of Hussie's narratives (don't post 'em anywhere, just do it for yourself)
That sounds like a great idea! I have only recently started to discover that there are subtle ways in which characters identify themselves through their dialogues, and by the way you explain it I think if I could manage to get a similar thing going my own characters would sound less generic as well.
To both points you guys raise, I think it's imperative that I try writing 'outside' the story as well, to get a feel for the characters. For some reason I've never really done that before, and I'm excited to try it out.
Side-note: I just noticed the thread title, and my story is actually titled 'Winterwands'.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Queen of Storm, Duke of Thorns
Queen of Storm
I’d always been the first person to act, and the last person to think. “Spaz.” “Problem child.” “Class clown.” “Wild cannon.” “Disrespectful.” I shrugged them all off. They weren’t my problem. It wasn’t my fault if people chose to see me like that. Then, after fighting about as subtly as a rhino on speed, and getting the shit beaten out of me, it finally hit me. What mom had meant all those years. If you didn’t pay attention to the world around you, you were as good as lost.
So I shut up, sat down, and listened. And what did you know? She’d been right the whole damn time. Sorry, mom. I guess it was always going to take something like three giant salt ogres to wake me up.
I still want to charge in, sometimes. Well, most of the time. But I guess it’s like bravery. A brave man isn’t one who never feels fear, but who keeps going despite it, right? Another thing mom always said. And I’m getting better at it, really. I hardly ever make a tornado when I’m trying for lightning, and it’s been a full week since a monster even got close enough to touch me. It’s not all about blasting them full force, either. Breezes and rain can do a whole lot of damage if you assess the situation right. Turns out actually taking the time to think saves a lot of time and energy in the long run.
I’m going to need all the energy I have, because tomorrow I might be dead.
Duke of Thorns
Being overlooked was kind of my thing. Nobody ever really bothered to learn my name in class, the teachers never called on me for answers, even at home I was lost among my 5 brothers and sisters. It’s not that I’m particularly ugly or smelly or repulsive or anything, although I don’t think I’m hugely attractive or charismatic or anything. It wasn’t anything as shallow as that. It was more a matter of choice, to tell the truth. I quietly removed myself from the flow of life around me, content to let the world happen to other people. I had something better, after all. Why live in reality when books and music can take you anywhere else you’ll never be able to go?
Man, I was kind of an idiot. Because something fantastic and impossible and awesome does happen, and I realized something they never mentioned in books. Adventure is just another word for ‘terrifying hard work’. Not that it doesn’t have it’s perks, of course. The Land of Towers and Dreams was beautiful, and meeting Sharon on Prospit was, well, everything I could ever have dreamed of. But there’s a cost to that. Everyone on earth, for one. Fear and lonliness and moments of true despair. After all, awesome and awful have the same root. Awe-inspiring.
Sburb got me to truly live, but to be honest, I should have been living all along. It’s okay to read a book and check out, it’s not okay to shut yourself away.
Tomorrow we face the Black King and end this. Today we wait.
Queen of Storm
I hate waiting. I have to keep shifting from side to side to keep my ass from falling asleep as I sit here, getting my thoughts in order. I want to be out fighting, psyching myself up, but there’s no point. I’m already at the top. All that would do is waste energy.
Everyone’s asleep but me and Gale. Of course, it’s his watch. I can feel him staring at me. What’s he thinking? Wondering why I’m not asleep? Anyone else I can usually get a read on, but despite how long I’ve known him, he’s still a mystery. And me? Well, I’m a ball of stress, so I break my resolution not to be a bitch and snap at him.
“Take a picture, it lasts longer.”
It’s somewhat satisfying to see him blush, but then I get surprised yet again.
Duke of Thorns
A month ago, I would have stammered out an apology and then looked anywhere other then at her. Today? Well, tomorrow we face the Black King. Today I can’t afford to remove myself from the picture.
“You look good in grey.”
Before she can respond with what I’m sure is a laugh, I continue.
“I-I mean, you look good in anything. You’d look good in nothing. Oh g-god, shit, that last part came out wro-“
Queen of Storm
I cut him off.
“Are you seriously hitting on me the night before we could die? Isn’t this a little…late?”
Part of me is upset, I think. I don’t want to be distracted. I can’t be distracted.
Damn, his eyes are pretty distracting. Have they always been that green? Well, hazel, really, but in this light they look green and-
No, focus.
Goddammit, cheeks, stop blushing.
Duke of Thorns
Okay, I probably torpedoed my chances right then and there, but I’m not giving up yet. Might as well shoot myself in the foot a few more times.
Maybe then I can metaphorically bleed to death with some dignity.
I open my mouth to say something, and all that comes out is, “I’m sorry.”
Queen of Storm
I don’t know why those words hurt so much.
Duke of Thorns
Shit, is she crying?
I do the only thing I can think of and hug her in close.
Queen of Storm
I wonder how long I’ve wanted him to hold me like this?
Tomorrow we may die, but today belongs to us.
Author's Note
Sometimes you just get a scene so strongly in your head you have to let it out. This was one of those times.
Originally Posted by CandyLemon
I'm now starting to ship Crowbar/Sleuth/Slick. That is what this place has done to me
for Sleuth. 
C20710
I'm looking forward to that.
I wrote this for a Secret Santa exchange on these boards and even though I was far too late I still had to rush to finish.
In fact that's basically what I was saying about the scenarios, except worded much more succinctly. It really does help a great deal, because it forces you to figure out what they'd do on the fly, until thinking like the character becomes second nature to you.
Chumhandle: ceruleanTresses
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