MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands

[SeptimusMagistos]

Chapter 13: Finally trolling successfully

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AG: Hey, white text guy!
AG: I am talking to you here!
Yes?
AG: ::::D
AG: That is me right now.
AG: You would not even 8elieve how hard I am laughing at this.
AG: My sides are 8asically a8out to 8urst.
I see little reason for such levity.
AG: Yeah, right!
AG: You spent all this time telling me how doomed we all were.
AG: Well, guess what, smart guy?
AG: You were wrong!!!!!!!!
AG: !
AG: HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!
I am never wrong.
AG: Oh, no. You are not going to pull your little tricks on me!
AG: Not this time!
AG: We 8eat Gamzee without a single casualty.
AG: And John got the 8omb out of his 8attlefield!
AG: And he and his friends 8eat all of their Denizens.
AG: All of them!
AG: (You see what I did there? I used my catchphrase on a concept that is quantitatively exhaustive at 8/2!) ::::D
AG: And now instead of 8eing doomed we are all sitting around and cele8r8ing with some cake and faygo.
AG: And I find that to 8e uproariously hilarious!
This is only a minor snag.
There have been. . .difficulties. But it’s nothing I can’t handle.
I have resolved thornier problems before.
I just need to think.
AG: You need to think a8out how pathetic you are, may8e!
AG: Seriously, I can see why you’re so eager to get 8ack to a timeline where you matter
AG: You know, as opposed to this one, where you are 8asically wrong a8out everything ever.
I am not wrong.
AG: 8ut too 8ad, 8uster!
AG: I think I like it here!
I am not!
AG: And hey? Guess whaaaaaaaat?
AG: here is something else you didn’t see coming!
TA has opened the conversation to the public.
Wait, what?
AT: oKAY, fIRST OF ALL WE ALL THINK YOU’RE AWFUL,
AT: lET’S GET THAT FACT OUT ON THE TABLE WHERE EVERYONE INVOLVED CAN SEE IT,
AA: and sec0ndly we are n0t 0kay with what y0u did
I did nothing.
AA: d0nt even try t0 feed us that line
AA: as the maid of time i kn0w perfectly well h0w a small cause can have a large effect!
AA: y0u were deliberately causing situati0ns that w0uld n0t have been p0ssible with0ut y0ur interventi0n
AA: just because y0u ch0se t0 d0 it in a way that w0uld require minimum acti0n 0n y0ur part d0es n0t make it any less your fault!
This is ridiculous.
TG: we know what you did bro
TG: and it is some pretty fucked up stuff
TG: and we know what youre going to try to do
TG: and it is basically the worst thing ever
Childish insults.
Coupled with callbacks to meaningless conversations you have had in the past.
GC: H3Y TH3R3 M1ST3R V4N1LL4 M1LKS4K3!
GC: SP34K1NG OF C4LLB4CKS:
GC: DO YOU R3M3MB3R TH3 T1M3 1 KN3W WH4T YOU WOULD DO N3XT?
GC: W3LL 1 KNOW 1T NOW TOO!
GC: 4ND L3T M3 T3LL YOU:
GC: 1T 1S GO1NG TO B3 H1L4R1OUS!
Pretend knowledge.
Or. . .real knowledge? Why can’t I tell?
AG: Helmets!!!!!!!!
AG: You know, from the other side they are much more satisfying!
CA: wwoww you wwere basically right vvris
CA: this guy is just pathetic
CA: i am ashamed to havve him share a color wwith my scientific powwers
And you would know pathetic, wouldn’t you?
CC: H----EY!
CC: -------Eridan mig)(t )(ave )(is troubles in t)(e romantic department
CC: And )(e mig)(t be basically t)(e )(ardest moirail ever to keep in line
CC: But )(e’s not a t)(ousandt)(‘s as bad as you are!!!!! 38(
TC: MoThErFuCkInG RiGhT
TC: BeSiDeS I DoN’T ThInK YoU ReAlLy HaVe aNy fAiTh aT AlL
TC: NoT In yOuR MaStEr
TC: nOt iN YoUr pLaNs
TC: WhEn yOu hAvE FaItH YoU DoN’T HaVe tO Be cOnStAnTlY InTeRfErInG WiTh eVeRyThInG
TC: YoU CaN JuSt lEt tHiNgS Be
TC: oThErWiSe iT Is nO KiNd oF FaItH At aLl
I will not accept theological advice from you.
I have seen things your drug-addled mind could not imagine!
TT: I have not known Gamzee for long.
TT: But from what little I’ve gleaned I daresay his drug-addled mind has seen things you cannot imagine as well.
CT: D --> You know, the Subcommittee of Stri% Beats was assigned a task of coming up with a suitably derisive rap for this occasion
CT: D --> But I think it would be a waste of our considerable talents at this point
I’m hardly going to believe that you view me as the enemy. If it were not for my actions you would not have your beloved now.
GA: Ah So You Do Take Responsibility For The Events In Question
AA: he is basically resp0nsible f0r them yes
AA: which is n0t t0 ex0nerate any0ne else inv0lved
AA: n0ne 0f us were perfect
AA: but 0bvi0usly that d0esnt st0p s0me 0f us fr0m bearing a grudge
A grudge? Is that all you have to offer? Something like one of your caliginous flirtations?
This is not worth my time.
AG: You know, at least when Tavros uses fakey fake confidence, he has the guts to 8e upfront a8out it!
AG: When you do it it’s just sad!
CG: SO TO SUMMARIZE: YOU ARE STUPID, EVIL, AND FUCKING INSANE AND WE’RE NOT GOING TO TAKE YOUR CRAP ANYMORE.
CG: SOLLUX, HE’S ALL YOURS.
So that’s your secret weapon. The little programmer?
TA: iit’2 SOLLUX CAPTOR two you.
TA: the chiief admiinii2trator of the 2ubcommiittee of computiing machiinery .
I suppose you think you have as much reason to hate me as anyone.
Do you blame me for everything that’s happened to you? Do you think you didn’t deserve it? Do you think it matters?
Well?
Answer me.
Doc Scratch’s typewriter has exploded
TA: 2omethiing wiitty.
TA: okay no waiit ii can do better than that.
TA: eat 2hiit and diie?
TA: no, no.
TA: you have been banned from the iinternet?
TA: take thii2 a2 your an2wer?
CG: JUST. . . JUST SHUT THE HELL UP.
CG: YOU’RE RUNING THIS.
TA: yeah okay.

[Isoraqathedh]

Integration · Troll Chapter [1] [2] [3] [4] [4a] [4b] [5] [6] [7] [8] [...]

Double Index No. 4.13.07$003 // No. 2.98.04$003 -- Integration · Troll rev. 2.0: 3 // Beyond Hypertonic Patch A41612 II: The Redacted for the Sake of the Spellchecker
Click the [3] link above to get the original text.

Footnotes:

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(3) Short form for Operation Rescue the Decade-Old Trolls.
(4) You can approximate that as VAN-checked.
(5) Not what you think of – just a small hole that connects the nasal cavity to the oral one.
(6) “FN” is described as the velar-pharyngeal fricative. That approximately means your snoring sound.

Chapter 4, 4a and 4b will be posted no earlier than page 70.

Wow, Iso, I honestly... is there some sort of introduction or FAQ to your AU blanket fiction stuff? Because basically every time you post I have to wonder what I'm missing out on. And all those numbers. And symbols. And maybe you're an alien? Or... I dunno. Obviously all of whatever it is you do is something you put a lot of effort into, but I'm as confused as all hell. And maybe saying that makes me a jackass, but I seriously want to know what all of this stuff is.

Well, there's this, but I doubt that will help too much because I still haven't digitized much. Insert anguished face here You're better off listing the words you don't know and posting here so that I can make a glossary. And back to the link.

[Path]

@Doodled: Double wat.

[Isoraqathedh]

@Doodled: Double wat.

To prevent further watts, let me put in an interpretation.

Path said "sole" was the fish pun, but then Doodled was all kinds of "?" because it's innocuous at this point.

[Graven_Image]

D--> Ine%plicable f001ishness

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coronationTranscendant opened memo on board E%PLAIN YOURSELVES

CT: --E I pray my other selves will be as
CT: --E Let us call it accommodating
CT: --E As my blueblooded self is

centurionTrainee joined the memo

CT: o< I am HeRE pRinCE
CT: o< wHaT iS iT yOu ReQuIre
CT: --E I require the other ten uses
CT: o< uSeS oF wHaT
CT: --E Sorry I mean our other ten selves
CT: --E Fishpaste
CT: --E When I got up this evening I never thought I'd have to figure out a plural form of "us"

creepingTumour joined the memo

CT: --^ I just hate you all
CT: --^ So much
CT: o< wAIT a SECOND
CT: o< that is NO WAY to SPEAK to the PRINCE
CT: --^ He isn't my prince
CT: --E You will defer, me
CT: --E Or I will seriously consider the benefits of having one less me
CT: --^ That's a laugh
CT: --^ What are you going to do, Emperor Rotundus
CT: --^ Sit on me
CT: O< THIS IS BLASPHEMY

crassTeetotaler joined the memo

CT: --C 0h dear
CT: --C n0rmally I w0uld n0t c0nsider such a mem0 as this to be w0rth getting int0
CT: --C but grey me is stepping a bit t00 far
CT: --^ I think
CT: --^ That we need to get all of the dark red versions of everyone alive again
CT: --^ As soon as possible
CT: o< yes well I can agree with you there
CT: o< DarK rEd kArKAt iS somEhOW evEn mORe inSuFFeraBLe withOut hiS EmoTIOns

centaursTesticle joined the memo

CT: D--> This is 100dicrous
CT: D--> I come e%pecting paragons of the hemospectrum
CT: D--> And instead I find a lardarmed lameduck prince
CT: D--> A subjugglator completely off his rocker
CT: D--> And a rebellious anonymous-blood
CT: D--> Quite frankly I'm disappointed
CT: --C What ab0ut me
CT: D--> Not you
CT: D--> You're rather iffy in the whole blood thing what with being a robot and all

curiousTrashtalker joined the memo

CT: Heh
CT: Heh heh
CT: D--> Speaking of disappointing bluebloods
CT: Listen me
CT: Can I call you me
CT: The way I figure it we're a lot closer on the hemospectrum than anyone else
CT: Should we not be allies against these so called disappointments
CT: --E We're right here Marquess Looselips
CT: Bluh
CT: Like I care
CT: o< All ThIS hEREsy
CT: o< iS maKINg me UNcomFOrtaBle
CT: o< I thINK
CT: o< I neED a ToweL
CT: --E Wait purple me
CT: --E Don't you dare leave me alone with these madmen

centurionTrainee ceased responding to memo

[scintillatingMoniker]

Team Equius is the best thing ever

[Path]

@Septimus: GO TEAM EVERYONE! Davesprite, I see you in there. I've missed you.
@Graven: Okay, I give, these mass self conversations are genuinely hilarious.

[Megafire]

Chapter 13: Finally trolling successfully

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AG: Hey, white text guy!
AG: I am talking to you here!
Yes?
AG: :::
AG: That is me right now.
AG: You would not even 8elieve how hard I am laughing at this.
AG: My sides are 8asically a8out to 8urst.
I see little reason for such levity.
AG: Yeah, right!
AG: You spent all this time telling me how doomed we all were.
AG: Well, guess what, smart guy?
AG: You were wrong!!!!!!!!
AG: !
AG: HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!
I am never wrong.
AG: Oh, no. You are not going to pull your little tricks on me!
AG: Not this time!
AG: We 8eat Gamzee without a single casualty.
AG: And John got the 8omb out of his 8attlefield!
AG: And he and his friends 8eat all of their Denizens.
AG: All of them!
AG: (You see what I did there? I used my catchphrase on a concept that is quantitatively exhaustive at 8/2!) :::
AG: And now instead of 8eing doomed we are all sitting around and cele8r8ing with some cake and faygo.
AG: And I find that to 8e uproariously hilarious!
This is only a minor snag.
There have been. . .difficulties. But it’s nothing I can’t handle.
I have resolved thornier problems before.
I just need to think.
AG: You need to think a8out how pathetic you are, may8e!
AG: Seriously, I can see why you’re so eager to get 8ack to a timeline where you matter
AG: You know, as opposed to this one, where you are 8asically wrong a8out everything ever.
I am not wrong.
AG: 8ut too 8ad, 8uster!
AG: I think I like it here!
I am not!
AG: And hey? Guess whaaaaaaaat?
AG: here is something else you didn’t see coming!
TA has opened the conversation to the public.
Wait, what?
AT: oKAY, fIRST OF ALL WE ALL THINK YOU’RE AWFUL,
AT: lET’S GET THAT FACT OUT ON THE TABLE WHERE EVERYONE INVOLVED CAN SEE IT,
AA: and sec0ndly we are n0t 0kay with what y0u did
I did nothing.
AA: d0nt even try t0 feed us that line
AA: as the maid of time i kn0w perfectly well h0w a small cause can have a large effect!
AA: y0u were deliberately causing situati0ns that w0uld n0t have been p0ssible with0ut y0ur interventi0n
AA: just because y0u ch0se t0 d0 it in a way that w0uld require minimum acti0n 0n y0ur part d0es n0t make it any less your fault!
This is ridiculous.
TG: we know what you did bro
TG: and it is some pretty fucked up stuff
TG: and we know what youre going to try to do
TG: and it is basically the worst thing ever
Childish insults.
Coupled with callbacks to meaningless conversations you have had in the past.
GC: H3Y TH3R3 M1ST3R V4N1LL4 M1LKS4K3!
GC: SP34K1NG OF C4LLB4CKS:
GC: DO YOU R3M3MB3R TH3 T1M3 1 KN3W WH4T YOU WOULD DO N3XT?
GC: W3LL 1 KNOW 1T NOW TOO!
GC: 4ND L3T M3 T3LL YOU:
GC: 1T 1S GO1NG TO B3 H1L4R1OUS!
Pretend knowledge.
Or. . .real knowledge? Why can’t I tell?
AG: Helmets!!!!!!!!
AG: You know, from the other side they are much more satisfying!
CA: wwoww you wwere basically right vvris
CA: this guy is just pathetic
CA: i am ashamed to havve him share a color wwith my scientific powwers
And you would know pathetic, wouldn’t you?
CC: H----EY!
CC: -------Eridan mig)(t )(ave )(is troubles in t)(e romantic department
CC: And )(e mig)(t be basically t)(e )(ardest moirail ever to keep in line
CC: But )(e’s not a t)(ousandt)(‘s as bad as you are!!!!! 38(
TC: MoThErFuCkInG RiGhT
TC: BeSiDeS I DoN’T ThInK YoU ReAlLy HaVe aNy fAiTh aT AlL
TC: NoT In yOuR MaStEr
TC: nOt iN YoUr pLaNs
TC: WhEn yOu hAvE FaItH YoU DoN’T HaVe tO Be cOnStAnTlY InTeRfErInG WiTh eVeRyThInG
TC: YoU CaN JuSt lEt tHiNgS Be
TC: oThErWiSe iT Is nO KiNd oF FaItH At aLl
I will not accept theological advice from you.
I have seen things your drug-addled mind could not imagine!
TT: I have not known Gamzee for long.
TT: But from what little I’ve gleaned I daresay his drug-addled mind has seen things you cannot imagine as well.
CT: D --> You know, the Subcommittee of Stri% Beats was assigned a task of coming up with a suitably derisive rap for this occasion
CT: D --> But I think it would be a waste of our considerable talents at this point
I’m hardly going to believe that you view me as the enemy. If it were not for my actions you would not have your beloved now.
GA: Ah So You Do Take Responsibility For The Events In Question
AA: he is basically resp0nsible f0r them yes
AA: which is n0t t0 ex0nerate any0ne else inv0lved
AA: n0ne 0f us were perfect
AA: but 0bvi0usly that d0esnt st0p s0me 0f us fr0m bearing a grudge
A grudge? Is that all you have to offer? Something like one of your caliginous flirtations?
This is not worth my time.
AG: You know, at least when Tavros uses fakey fake confidence, he has the guts to 8e upfront a8out it!
AG: When you do it it’s just sad!
CG: SO TO SUMMARIZE: YOU ARE STUPID, EVIL, AND FUCKING INSANE AND WE’RE NOT GOING TO TAKE YOUR CRAP ANYMORE.
CG: SOLLUX, HE’S ALL YOURS.
So that’s your secret weapon. The little programmer?
TA: iit’2 SOLLUX CAPTOR two you.
TA: the chiief admiinii2trator of the 2ubcommiittee of computiing machiinery .
I suppose you think you have as much reason to hate me as anyone.
Do you blame me for everything that’s happened to you? Do you think you didn’t deserve it? Do you think it matters?
Well?
Answer me.
Doc Scratch’s typewriter has exploded
TA: 2omethiing wiitty.
TA: okay no waiit ii can do better than that.
TA: eat 2hiit and diie?
TA: no, no.
TA: you have been banned from the iinternet?
TA: take thii2 a2 your an2wer?
CG: JUST. . . JUST SHUT THE HELL UP.
CG: YOU’RE RUNING THIS.
TA: yeah okay.

Finally caught up.

And fuck yeah!

[ceruleanTresses]

Pretty sure it's "a bitter detestation
wwill be my sole salvvation"

You found it! Yay! *confetti*

[Path]

Pretty sure it's "a bitter detestation
wwill be my sole salvvation"

You found it! Yay! *confetti*

Yessss I win, I win at wordplay

Also, got to mention, you shoehorned in some excellent rhymes there.

[ceruleanTresses]

D'aww, thanks .

[starburst98]

more like team equius is the STRONGEST. just image them all doing a 'Strong [adjective]' together. like a 12 fisted strong punch. would probably just pop their black king's head clean off.

[mutecebu]

"crassTeetotaler" was my favorite

[sebastian]

D--> Ine%plicable f001ishness

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coronationTranscendant opened memo on board E%PLAIN YOURSELVES

CT: --E I pray my other selves will be as
CT: --E Let us call it accommodating
CT: --E As my blueblooded self is

centurionTrainee joined the memo

CT: o< I am HeRE pRinCE
CT: o< wHaT iS iT yOu ReQuIre
CT: --E I require the other ten uses
CT: o< uSeS oF wHaT
CT: --E Sorry I mean our other ten selves
CT: --E Fishpaste
CT: --E When I got up this evening I never thought I'd have to figure out a plural form of "us"

creepingTumour joined the memo

CT: --^ I just hate you all
CT: --^ So much
CT: o< wAIT a SECOND
CT: o< that is NO WAY to SPEAK to the PRINCE
CT: --^ He isn't my prince
CT: --E You will defer, me
CT: --E Or I will seriously consider the benefits of having one less me
CT: --^ That's a laugh
CT: --^ What are you going to do, Emperor Rotundus
CT: --^ Sit on me
CT: O< THIS IS BLASPHEMY

crassTeetotaler joined the memo

CT: --C 0h dear
CT: --C n0rmally I w0uld n0t c0nsider such a mem0 as this to be w0rth getting int0
CT: --C but grey me is stepping a bit t00 far
CT: --^ I think
CT: --^ That we need to get all of the dark red versions of everyone alive again
CT: --^ As soon as possible
CT: o< yes well I can agree with you there
CT: o< DarK rEd kArKAt iS somEhOW evEn mORe inSuFFeraBLe withOut hiS EmoTIOns

centaursTesticle joined the memo

CT: D--> This is 100dicrous
CT: D--> I come e%pecting paragons of the hemospectrum
CT: D--> And instead I find a lardarmed lameduck prince
CT: D--> A subjugglator completely off his rocker
CT: D--> And a rebellious anonymous-blood
CT: D--> Quite frankly I'm disappointed
CT: --C What ab0ut me
CT: D--> Not you
CT: D--> You're rather iffy in the whole blood thing what with being a robot and all

curiousTrashtalker joined the memo

CT: Heh
CT: Heh heh
CT: D--> Speaking of disappointing bluebloods
CT: Listen me
CT: Can I call you me
CT: The way I figure it we're a lot closer on the hemospectrum than anyone else
CT: Should we not be allies against these so called disappointments
CT: --E We're right here Marquess Looselips
CT: Bluh
CT: Like I care
CT: o< All ThIS hEREsy
CT: o< iS maKINg me UNcomFOrtaBle
CT: o< I thINK
CT: o< I neED a ToweL
CT: --E Wait purple me
CT: --E Don't you dare leave me alone with these madmen

centurionTrainee ceased responding to memo

Hey, why there is not a brown blooded cT?

Poor Brown blooded are always left behind.

[ceruleanTresses]

Brown-blooded cT is too busy communing with musclebeasts.

(also the next one should be ALL OF THE KARKATS. The caliginous quadrant would explode.)

[Path]

Oh that was an image I could have done without.

[Sleaw]

Wrote this one just now, it's not edited or anything so I hope you'll forgive the worst parts. It just sort of bubbled up. I'm not even sure it makes a lot of sense, but there you have it!

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Jerrow had always imagined a day would come when life would finally hit him back. You couldn’t go through like a breeze and expect nothing to happen. If you looked around, you saw that everywhere people struggled, and either became stronger for it or perished. It was his belief that one day he would face his own pain, and he prepared for that the only way he could – by adopting a stoic attitude over his fiery ways, distancing himself from others, and working hard to become physically strong, agile and fast.

He hit the street running, and water sprayed everywhere as he sagged for half a second before pushing off again, sprinting through the ankle-deep stream that had previously been the town’s main street. It was moving faster than him, an ominous reminder of the cataclysmic forces that were at work some ways behind him, a mile upstream, where the great dam had taken a near-direct hit from one of the meteors. Nobody knew how long it would hold, and nobody stuck around to find out. The houses along the road were empty, their windows shattered, some of them cracked or caved in. Smoke drifted overhead in thick clouds mucking up the bright blue sky; somewhere not far off, a neighborhood had caught fire.

He was a lonely, miniscule figure, hurrying along the streets of his deserted hometown, desperately trying to stay ahead of fate.

Loneliness could be pain too, he had found out, and it was for that reason he had made an exception to the rules of his life, or rather, two exceptions. Though even he had to admit that, in retrospect, it might not have gone any other way. Something in the back of his mind told him there had been no conscious decision, no rational plan, and it unsettled him when he thought about it for any stretch of time, so he didn’t. He accepted these changes into his life as though he had placed them there, and adapted to them.

It had actually been surprisingly easy. People had always been drawn to him, to his unending surprise and sometimes annoyance. Karen and Dominic had been no different. Having been placed under his supervision as part of a high school student-to-student tutoring program (‘adoption’, as the students called it), they had seen him as their go-to person, their mentor, and occasionally their guardian. Karen hadn’t needed him in that last respect. She fought her own battles, or tried to, and she lost most of them, but in all those years she had never come to him for support. He respected that and hadn’t interfered. Sometimes he wondered if things would have unfolded differently if he had. Between her and him…

An explosion to his left shook the ground, and he skidded to an uncertain halt, the stream pulling at his legs forcefully. His jaw dropped as he saw a fireball rise up from behind the mansions, and even at this distance he could feel the heat on his skin, taste the warm wind. A distant, muffled scream echoed across the street before being submerged in the angry murmur of the water. Maybe he had just imagined it? He looked around uncertainly, but saw only water. Another explosion rumbled, further away – the town was destabilizing. He forced himself to start moving, and resume his course. There was no time to look after anyone else, or for sightseeing. There was no time at all.

Dominic had been a lot more work than Karen, but then, he had always been a strange kid. When they had met for the first time, he had been stuck-up, egoistic and rude, and when he got into trouble he ran for the nearest teacher for protection. He had tried the same thing with his new mentor, but only once, at which point he’d found out Jerrow was remarkably good at not noticing there was anything going on, despite the occasional cry of pain and the cluster of children rolling over the floor and occasionally bumping into his legs. Afterwards they’d gone to the doctor together, and since then the kid had started observing him critically, following him around the premises and - and that was the thing that really freaked him out – taking notes. It went on for only two weeks before he put a stop to it, but from that time on the boy was inevitably changing, like a rock that had perched on a cliff for ages and had finally fallen off.

And then it was time to let go.

“You’ve both come a long way,” Jerrow reflected. They were looking at him, and he realised they were no longer looking up as they always had. When exactly that change had taken place, he had no idea, but he figured the time was right.
“I hope we’ll go much longer still,” Karen said, staring at him intently. “All of us.”
Jerrow noticed the defiance in her gaze, and wished she wouldn’t make it harder than it had to be. “You know I care for you guys,” he said.
“Liar!” Dominic jumped up and cramped his hands around the table. “You gonna dump us and get the hell out, aren’t you?”
Jerrow shrugged, and looked back at Karen, usually the voice of reason. She didn’t look away, she didn’t even blink. “Well,” she said, “are you?”
“He is, that douche! I’ve known all week, he’s just gonna tear off-“
“Shut up, Dominic,” Jerrow said, kindly. “It’s not that easy. I’m done with high school. I can’t just stay on for you guys.”
“That must be easy for you.” Karen’s voice was remarkably cool. “And when you leave, what will happen to us?”
He looked at them, from one to the other, felt the invisible clash in the air. Then he sagged. “That,” he said, “is for you to figure out.”

He walked towards the crater step by step, carefully, trying not to lose his foothold on the cracked bricks. The water was warm around his feet, and in the crater, it boiled. Heavy fumes rose up from it and made him lightheaded, and once he had to lean against a half-charred vehicle wreck so as not to fall over. He started to wonder if he was dreaming. Could any of it be real? Meteors, disasters, the end of the world – frankly, the notion struck him as foolhardy. He shook his head and set his last step in the hot water, having finally reached the crater’s edge. It was real enough. A little too real for his tastes, actually. With some effort he set himself down on the remains of a stone fence, which rose up out of the coiling murk like a peer at sea.

He had always imagined life would hit him back some day. Anticipating the pain, he had worked hard to improve himself, so that he would be ready when the time came. And now, as he noticed there was far too little rubble here for an entire house to have collapsed, and there was no sign of bodies, he found that the worst thing wasn't having a harsh destiny, or a painful one, but having no destiny at all.

A scorched, soaked brown envelope sloshed by on the waves, having miraculously survived the impact somehow. He fished it up almost absent-mindedly. The half that wasn’t burned away still faintly showed the green spirograph of SBURB.

A long, thundering rumble far behind him indicated the gigantic concrete walls hadn’t been able to contain the water any longer. Jerrow crumpled the paper in his fist and found himself crying, quietly, miserably.

It wasn't like there was anyone around to see.

As before, any comment is much appreciated!

[ProspitDreamer]

Hi everyone. I'm new here and I was told by some very nice people in another thread that I should post my poem here. It is my version of what I think Vriska might feel about John, after the conversation where she confides in him about killing Tavros. So, um, there you have it:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

We all had lain in the cocoon of certainty,
So sure of what we thought we knew;
And no cloud-dream or omen disparity
Prevented it all from going askew

Each time we were secure in our knowledge and wealth
The Paradox wrapped us in obscuring cloth
Not players of the game but part of itself;
What happens to the characters when the game gets turned off?

Did any of our pain or sufferings have worth?
What did anything matter once we had lost?
Yet it was within that darkness that gave birth
To a hope that melted the deepest of frost

The idea that it mayn’t be all wrath and vengeance,
New kinds of friendship, kin-bonds unknown,
A face somehow strong yet also benevolent
And a hint that I don’t have to face life alone

Confusion and uncertainty bloomed like the sun
Tearing open anew my old scars of pain
Making me face all the things I had done
As I became certain I was going insane

Love; the emotion that doesn’t belong
Was now in the forefront of my every thought
Forcing my admission that I had been wrong
Making me realize my heart had been caught

The point of the game was to make us grow
And when we failed so well, it shut us down
But now, I think, I see a new glow
A reset, a second chance to not drown

And you are that chance, my hope to be saved,
The humans, not confused by love at all
You John, and Rose, and your friends Jade and Dave,
Are the ones helping us up from the fall

And I think Fate will choose that we’ll never meet;
Though I can still hope for that greatest surprise;
Each time my heart changes from sour to sweet,
My visions all blur and I see only your eyes.

And also, Sleaw I just read your short story and I though it was very suspenseful and foreboding, and now I'm curious as to who it's about. Maybe everyone else already knows because it's characters that you've used before. Wow, I feel like such a newbie : P But anyway I liked it, cause it was dark and moody : )

[Graven_Image]

YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING

show spoiler

hide spoiler

carcinoGeneticist opened memo on board TEAM ADORABLOODTHIRSTY

CG: ALRIGHT.
CG: I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE.
CG: WAITING.
CG: SO LET'S HAVE IT.

courageousGatherer joined the memo

CG: UGH, KIMOSAB3.
CG: AND BY UGH I MEAN SCR3W YOU.
CG: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
CG: TROLL NATIVE AMERICAN ME?
CG: IS THAT THE BEST PARADOX SPACE HAS?
CG: WOW, YOU'R3 3V3N WORS3 THAN FUTUR3 M3.
CG: AND FUTUR3 M3 IS A REAL PILLOCK, SO THAT SAYS SOM3THING.

corruptedGenepool joined the memo

CG: I'M SERI0USLY D0UBTING THE MERITS OF SCREWING AR0UND WITH Y0U GUYS
CG: BUT 0H WELL IT L00KS LIKE I'M ALREADY HERE
CG: MIGHT AS WELL ENJ0Y THE RIDE
CG: AND AS A THANK YOU FOR SHOWING UP, HAVE A HEARTFELT "SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY NOOK."
CG: FROM BOTH OF US.

cowhandGrazer joined the memo

CG: MAKE THAT, uhh, ALL THREE OF US,
CG: YOU'RE EASILY THE WORST KARKAT, i think,
CG: AH, MUMBLES V0N MECHALEGS GRACES US WITH HIS PRESCENCE
CG: WHAT'S IT LIKE T0 BE A C0MPLETE FL0P 0F A LEADER
CG: NOW HANG ON, WHERE DO YOU HAVE ROOM TO TALK?
CG: THE MOST YOU'VE DONE HAS BEEN GOING AROUND, YELLING A-BLAH AT YOUR TEAM MATES AND BEING A USELESS POS.
CG: BUT AT LEAST I G0T CRAP D0NE
CG: UNLIKE THIS LUMP

certainlyGraceful joined the memo

CG: OH, DID YOU NOW?
CG: LAH DEE FRIGGIN DA.
CG: I STOKED A FORGE, WHICH IS A BIGGER ACHIEVEMENT THAN ANY OF YOU LOSERS MANAGED.
CG "LOSERS"? THAT'S THE BEST YOU CAN COME UP WITH?
CG: COM3 ON, H3'S JAD3 US.
CG: OF COURS3 H3'S GOING TO B3 A PRISSY WIMP.
CG: I RESENT THAT.
CG: I AM NOT A PRISS, I'M MERELY MORE CIVIL THAN YOU LOT.
CG: WHICH IS NOT A WEAKNESS, DESPITE EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY.
CG: MAYBE THAT EVIDENCE IS THERE FOR A REASON,
CG: i mean, YOU'D NEVER LAST ON THE RANCH.
CG: OH GOD, BROWN ME HAS A RANCH.
CG: UUUUUGH.

crownedGrubhater joined the memo

CG: ALRIGHT, MEMO OVER.
CG: YOU'RE ALL BANNED BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST ARGUING WITH EACH OTHER AND NOT DOING ANYTHING.
CG: YOU CAN ALSO HAVE A SINCERE "SHOVE IT," PRINCE ME.
CG: I WILL NOT REST UNTIL I'VE SERVED A GREAT STEAMING PLATE OF SHAME GLOBES TO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MYSELF THAT FORCED HIMSELF UPON ME.
CG: AND WHILE THAT'S AN ADMIRABLE GOAL, YOU'RE FAILING UTTERLY AT IT.
CG: BY ROYAL ANGRY GRUBHIVE ORDER, I COMMAND YOU TO STEP DOWN.
CG: I OUTRANK YOU.
CG: OH, SINCE WHEN DID I GIVE TWO SQUIRTS OF GRUB SAUCE ABOUT THE HEMOSPECTRUM!?
CG: YOU'RE NUTS. EVERYONE OF ME EXCEPT ME IS ABSOLUTELY BUGHIVE UP THE BELFRY.
CG: I THINK IT'S TIME F0R ME T0 G0
CG: N0T THAT THIS ISN'T FUN BUT I'VE G0T STUFF T0 D0 THAT ISN'T LAUGHING MY SANITY AWAY AT THE HIJINKS 0F A BUNCH 0F WIGGLERS THAT MY 0R MAY N0T BE ME
CG: SCREW YOU, DARK RED ME.
CG: I'M 0UT

corruptedGenepool ceased responding to memo

[Path]

CG: I WILL NOT REST UNTIL I'VE SERVED A GREAT STEAMING PLATE OF SHAME GLOBES TO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MYSELF THAT FORCED HIMSELF UPON ME.

*misinterprets*
*...prefers it that way*

[CandyLemon]

YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING

show spoiler

hide spoiler

carcinoGeneticist opened memo on board TEAM ADORABLOODTHIRSTY

CG: ALRIGHT.
CG: I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE.
CG: WAITING.
CG: SO LET'S HAVE IT.

courageousGatherer joined the memo

CG: UGH, KIMOSAB3.
CG: AND BY UGH I MEAN SCR3W YOU.
CG: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
CG: TROLL NATIVE AMERICAN ME?
CG: IS THAT THE BEST PARADOX SPACE HAS?
CG: WOW, YOU'R3 3V3N WORS3 THAN FUTUR3 M3.
CG: AND FUTUR3 M3 IS A REAL PILLOCK, SO THAT SAYS SOM3THING.

corruptedGenepool joined the memo

CG: I'M SERI0USLY D0UBTING THE MERITS OF SCREWING AR0UND WITH Y0U GUYS
CG: BUT 0H WELL IT L00KS LIKE I'M ALREADY HERE
CG: MIGHT AS WELL ENJ0Y THE RIDE
CG: AND AS A THANK YOU FOR SHOWING UP, HAVE A HEARTFELT "SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY NOOK."
CG: FROM BOTH OF US.

cowhandGrazer joined the memo

CG: MAKE THAT, uhh, ALL THREE OF US,
CG: YOU'RE EASILY THE WORST KARKAT, i think,
CG: AH, MUMBLES V0N MECHALEGS GRACES US WITH HIS PRESCENCE
CG: WHAT'S IT LIKE T0 BE A C0MPLETE FL0P 0F A LEADER
CG: NOW HANG ON, WHERE DO YOU HAVE ROOM TO TALK?
CG: THE MOST YOU'VE DONE HAS BEEN GOING AROUND, YELLING A-BLAH AT YOUR TEAM MATES AND BEING A USELESS POS.
CG: BUT AT LEAST I G0T CRAP D0NE
CG: UNLIKE THIS LUMP

certainlyGraceful joined the memo

CG: OH, DID YOU NOW?
CG: LAH DEE FRIGGIN DA.
CG: I STOKED A FORGE, WHICH IS A BIGGER ACHIEVEMENT THAN ANY OF YOU LOSERS MANAGED.
CG "LOSERS"? THAT'S THE BEST YOU CAN COME UP WITH?
CG: COM3 ON, H3'S JAD3 US.
CG: OF COURS3 H3'S GOING TO B3 A PRISSY WIMP.
CG: I RESENT THAT.
CG: I AM NOT A PRISS, I'M MERELY MORE CIVIL THAN YOU LOT.
CG: WHICH IS NOT A WEAKNESS, DESPITE EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY.
CG: MAYBE THAT EVIDENCE IS THERE FOR A REASON,
CG: i mean, YOU'D NEVER LAST ON THE RANCH.
CG: OH GOD, BROWN ME HAS A RANCH.
CG: UUUUUGH.

crownedGrubhater joined the memo

CG: ALRIGHT, MEMO OVER.
CG: YOU'RE ALL BANNED BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST ARGUING WITH EACH OTHER AND NOT DOING ANYTHING.
CG: YOU CAN ALSO HAVE A SINCERE "SHOVE IT," PRINCE ME.
CG: I WILL NOT REST UNTIL I'VE SERVED A GREAT STEAMING PLATE OF SHAME GLOBES TO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MYSELF THAT FORCED HIMSELF UPON ME.
CG: AND WHILE THAT'S AN ADMIRABLE GOAL, YOU'RE FAILING UTTERLY AT IT.
CG: BY ROYAL ANGRY GRUBHIVE ORDER, I COMMAND YOU TO STEP DOWN.
CG: I OUTRANK YOU.
CG: OH, SINCE WHEN DID I GIVE TWO SQUIRTS OF GRUB SAUCE ABOUT THE HEMOSPECTRUM!?
CG: YOU'RE NUTS. EVERYONE OF ME EXCEPT ME IS ABSOLUTELY BUGHIVE UP THE BELFRY.
CG: I THINK IT'S TIME F0R ME T0 G0
CG: N0T THAT THIS ISN'T FUN BUT I'VE G0T STUFF T0 D0 THAT ISN'T LAUGHING MY SANITY AWAY AT THE HIJINKS 0F A BUNCH 0F WIGGLERS THAT MY 0R MAY N0T BE ME
CG: SCREW YOU, DARK RED ME.
CG: I'M 0UT

corruptedGenepool ceased responding to memo

That was utterly brilliant.

CG: I AM NOT A PRISS, I'M MERELY MORE CIVIL THAN YOU LOT.
CG: WHICH IS NOT A WEAKNESS, DESPITE EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY.

certainlyGraceful is now my favourite version of Karkat

[Sleaw]

Hi everyone. I'm new here and I was told by some very nice people in another thread that I should post my poem here. It is my version of what I think Vriska might feel about John, after the conversation where she confides in him about killing Tavros. So, um, there you have it:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

We all had lain in the cocoon of certainty,
So sure of what we thought we knew;
And no cloud-dream or omen disparity
Prevented it all from going askew

Each time we were secure in our knowledge and wealth
The Paradox wrapped us in obscuring cloth
Not players of the game but part of itself;
What happens to the characters when the game gets turned off?

Did any of our pain or sufferings have worth?
What did anything matter once we had lost?
Yet it was within that darkness that gave birth
To a hope that melted the deepest of frost

The idea that it mayn’t be all wrath and vengeance,
New kinds of friendship, kin-bonds unknown,
A face somehow strong yet also benevolent
And a hint that I don’t have to face life alone

Confusion and uncertainty bloomed like the sun
Tearing open anew my old scars of pain
Making me face all the things I had done
As I became certain I was going insane

Love; the emotion that doesn’t belong
Was now in the forefront of my every thought
Forcing my admission that I had been wrong
Making me realize my heart had been caught

The point of the game was to make us grow
And when we failed so well, it shut us down
But now, I think, I see a new glow
A reset, a second chance to not drown

And you are that chance, my hope to be saved,
The humans, not confused by love at all
You John, and Rose, and your friends Jade and Dave,
Are the ones helping us up from the fall

And I think Fate will choose that we’ll never meet;
Though I can still hope for that greatest surprise;
Each time my heart changes from sour to sweet,
My visions all blur and I see only your eyes.

And also, Sleaw I just read your short story and I though it was very suspenseful and foreboding, and now I'm curious as to who it's about. Maybe everyone else already knows because it's characters that you've used before. Wow, I feel like such a newbie : P But anyway I liked it, cause it was dark and moody : )

Hehe, I'm just as new here as you are - I posted here for the first time yesterday! Shit, let's be newbies. As for the thing I just posted, it isn't really about anyone! That is to say, it stands on itself without being a reference to anything else. Just some random thing I felt like scribbling down, really.

As for your poem, I especially like the line 'what happens to the characters when the game gets turned off'. I'm not very much into poetry myself and I certainly can't judge it though! Though I guess it's not about what's good or bad but what you like or don't? So yeah, I do like it! Is it written from any of the trolls' perspectives in particular?

[Metaflare]

IM A RAINBOW DRINKER

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grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]
GA: ROSE
GA: THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE
GA: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]
TT: ???

[raequiem]

Updatefic. Ahaha, I am so happy right now, you have no idea. I am still giggling. This is the best.

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hide spoiler

She's full of fire and hunger, but she's kept her mind through it. Somehow.

It doesn't taste like she thought it would, but she craves it all the same.

The dead don't need it that much anyway.

And Terezi won't mind.

Hopefully.

She's lit from within, quite literally. She lights her own way down the halls, her hands tracing the metal walls, her bright feet flashing beneath her skirt.

She's bound her wound in silk. Purple. She'd been saving that fabric for - no. Later.

Must move faster.

Bright feet flashing through the complex, bright hands clenched, golden eyes dark in her bright face.

Faster.

I'm already late.

She sees them - a flare of orange, a flick of purple, a spark of blue.

Blue.

Stolen blue.

The fire within her is all-consuming, and she lets it flow. Lets it add speed to her stride. Lets it add strength to her kick.

She blows him away.

Knocks off the stolen blue hat, the cracked glasses. Knocks his shoes off, literally.

Knocks him over the edge.

Her eyes are narrow as she watches him fall.

She turns. Sees the other.

His lips move, and she hears his whisper across the room.

"Oh shit."

*hopes no one will notice her monthlong absence from ficland*

[Rio]

Rainbow Drinker Revenge

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She didn't remember the exact moment of her death. She knew exactly what happened, yes, but she didn't recall the actual dieing. She didn't remember rising back to life again, either. She was asleep for a moment. But when she finally sat up, she felt empty- and why not? She had a gaping hole in her stomach,after all. She glanced over at Feferi, first. And then at the various screens. She saw Gamzee's announcement to Karkat. In the back of her mind, she hoped he was alright. Struggling to her feet, she was overcome with dizziness- blood loss, death, hunger.... oh yes, hunger. There was far too much to bear. Silently she asked Feferi for forgiveness, as she stumbled over to the corpse, and bit down.

When Terezi arrived, the hunger had lessened, but not enough. Not nearly enough. But she couldn't risk Terezi finding out, so she attacked quickly, and silently. The blind girl only smelled her coming at the last minute. With another silent apology, and a band aid, Kanaya retrieved some cloth from her own room, before slinking off into the dark halls to find her killer.... though really, with her in it, they weren't really dark anymore were they?

It was easy enough to find the trio. The honking alone was good enough. That monsterous clown who suddenly decided to live up to his class, the manipulative spider b- queen, not even in death could she let herself use such language- and him.

GA: Can You Just For A Moment Entertain The Thoughts Of One Untouched By Megalomaniacal Derangement And Tell Me Why Id Want To Assist You With Genocide
CA: im not goin to vvery wwell kill you am i that wwould be fuckin unconscionable
CA: wwhat kind of friend wwould i be

What Kind Of Friend Indeed.

At that point, her rage took over. She broke into a run. The clown went first, kicked off the edge in the most painful way she could think of, and then she slowly turned to the others, a malicious smile forming. She was hungry. She was a very hungry rainbow drinker. And she wanted revenge.