MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands

[Kassiopeia]

This may be the reason why I always spelled it hæmospectrum (and hæmolysis, hæmoglobin and so on). I also go "fœtus" and "Pangæa" too.

Because these are the best spellings!

Freakin' Brits with your weird spellings...seriously, "manoevre"?

Blame the Romans. I always wished I can spell it "mënúvr".

But Latin is such a cool language! And besides, English isn't descended from Latin.

The parts of it that were taken from French are.

English is a lady of negotiable affection. She'll nab words from anyone.

besides, it's "manoeuvre" anyway, which obviously makes a whole lot more sense

[lucidSeraph]

yeah guys jegus

manoeuvre

colour
favourite

duh

[Decay]

yeah guys jegus

manoeuvre

colour
favourite

duh

Living in the US has messed up my spelling and now I talk about my favourite colors and like such as.

[SkaianRedeemer]

@Jim Groovester: Yeah, I figured that might be the case. SPIN OFF: Hysterical Dame Gets More Hysterical While Not Involved With The Sapphire Of Alternia.

@DeadBrain: That'd do it. I haven't played the thing because I'm still (supposed to be) playing Persona 3. I know they're not remotely connected: it's just a manner of managing my time. About the only P4 thing I've taken in is hiimdaisy's, and I didn't get half of it.

@Altum: Haha, the dialogue's just great there, and not to distract from the actual content but I love how it was Vriska that inspired Slick's name, just casually like that. Terezi is the best manipuorganizer. The B3ST!

[Megafire]

I am here and I bring fic!

For one, I've posted chapter 4 of Homesick: AD: Enter Name.

And I've started my own brand of weird troll romance fic: Kismesis: the Snake. Chapter 1: the Snake can be found here.

[Kerensky287]

Hey guys, you know what crossover is seriously missing from this thread?

AXE COP.

[Graven_Image]

No. NO.

The universe would explode.

[Red Pen]

Hey guys, you know what crossover is seriously missing from this thread?

AXE COP.

I want to call dibs on this.
SO much.

But I'm not sure I'd be able to do it justice.

[Kassiopeia]

a strange thing: I started reading Homestuck because of an article about Axe Cop. I read Problem Sleuth because a guy I liked recommended it and I wanted to have something to talk about (sue me. Although it'll be embarrassing if he's actually on the forum :/), and loved it, but I wasn't going to come back and read Homestuck until I read this one article comparing MSPA and Axe Cop. Can't really remember anything it said, though.

[Graven_Image]

Meetiing of the Miind2

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twinArmageddons opened memo on board TOTAL B2

TA: okay 2o no one ii2 allowed on here
TA: ii've per2onally locked thii2 memo down wiith a 2uper dee duper encrypted pa22word
TA: 2o don't even try

apatheticGridlock joined the memo

AG: Ding! Done. ::P
AG: 2eriously, I could have hacked that in my 2leep.
TA: and 2o you have proven your2elf worthy
AG: Wait, what.
TA: ehehe
TA: that wa2 the te2t
TA: ii wanted two make 2ure nobody but us hacker2 could get on
AG: Oh, you cunning ba2tard!
AG: No wonder!

cursoryGlance joined the memo

CG: SO YEAH THAT WA2 THE EA2IE2T THING EVER
CG: SORRY, 2OLLUX, LOOK2 LIKE YOU JU2T CAN'T LIVE UP TO THE YELLOW LEGACY
TA: ii made iit ea2y on purpo2e, you iidiiot
TA: otherwii2e iid never be able to meet all the yellow troll2 that 2hare my iintere2t2
TA: unliike all tho2e other 2olluxe2 who were pretty much not me except for the bipolariity

circuitsTremor joined the memo

CT: -(+ha+ was almost two simple)
CT: -(was +his +he best you could do)
TA: look wiill you all 2top bangiing on about how ea2y the pa22word wa2
TA: ii made iit that way on purpo2e okay

amplifiedArcanist joined the memo

AA: I would have commented on the pa22word
AA: but it wa2 obviou2ly a 2kill gate
AA: no one in their right mind would have made 2omething that ea2y
TA: look aradiia 2hut up
TA: everyone el2e ha2 gotten theiir jolliie2 off of thii2 iim not lettiing you 2iink two it two
AA: whoa whoa what
AA: are we dating or 2omething
TA: uhh
TA: 2hoot
CG: PFFFFTHAHAHA
CG: OH MAN, 2OLLUX, ICE BURN
CG: 2ERIOU2LY
CG: YOU'RE WOR2E THAN ERIDAN
TA: that2 iit, ii don't friiggiin care anymore
TA: bye

twinArmageddons left the memo

CT: -(do you +hink we should +ell him abou+ +he ~A+H code)
AG: Mmm... nah.
AG: He'll figure it out him2elf.
AG: Eventually. ::)

[Shadow of the Lotus]

A troll's lament.

As a child, my lusus was forceful in teaching. Not because I lacked talent, but instead that I disbelieved. Sea-dwellers are a noble race of trolls. And while I had only seen underwater, my lusus thought it important that I understand the land-dwellers. If only I had listened sooner.

One day, as a very young boy, I left the sea. My disbelief over my lusus' wisdom was too strong; I needed to see with my own eyes what the land-dwellers were like. It didn't take long before I found one. A young girl played in a field of flowers along the coast that I rose up out of. She had sharp teeth and black hair, just as much as anyone else I had ever met under the sea. The only difference which bought my attention was her lack of gills. That, and her smile. Living with my lusus had been hard and few understood. A growl stood ready to greet those unlucky to catch my glance. But with this girl, she smiled and played.

I approached cautiously. Not out of fear for my well-being but more so fear of my lusus being proven right. The girl had been sitting at my approach, facing to her side from where I stood, but stood as my cape rustled against the rocky shoreline and its sound started her. Alarm took place where joy had been in her eyes, but momentary shock was replace by curiosity. Much as I had never seen a land-dweller, she had never seen a sea-dweller. I took a step back in caution; not wishing to scare or alarm my new friend away. Surely, my usual growl would betray better intentions.

To my surprise, her smile returned; a rising tide meant to greet with welcome. Her hand outreached, I pushed forward and met her kindness. A warmth spread between our first touch and a new friendship was lit. I had fun playing with her in the flowers. The yellows and purples of the petals around us matched well with her green dress. We played for hours until the tide fell. A parting kiss given by her to me; unfamiliar with our romances at such a young age, I withdrew in surprise. Although she seemed disappointed at my response, we promised to meet here again tomorrow.

The sun rose, and I returned to our field of flowers. While uninterested in romance, I enjoyed the time I spent with my new friend and wished to learn more of the land-dwellers. The day before had been a better teacher than my lusus had ever been, or so I thought. The day passed to noon, and my concern grew. Where was the troll in the green dress? I set out to look for her and demand to know why she had not come.

It did not take long to find an answer. Just over a hill near the flowers was her village. I, at least, believe as much. Lawn-rings dotted the plains which opened up before me. A hideous portrait greeted me. Greens, yellows, oranges and browns; the village was covered in blood. And the girl in the green dress; she was nearest where I stood. Her body faced down, drinking in the pool of green blood she lay in. Dead.

I returned to the sea, if only for a moment. The village had been vanquished. Conquered and destroyed by the land-dwellers. Senseless violence driving, destroying, and creating misery. It had been a mistake to talk to the land-dwellers. Though tempting with friendship, they were uncivilized, beastly savages. My lusus was right. I set out to find my lusus, to leave the sea and stand ready to kill them all. The land dwellers must die.

I paused and reached up with my right hand to my right cheek. This is where I had been kissed. Never again would I let romance die unrequited. I will seek out romance just as much as I would kill the beastly land-dwellers.

Author's notes:

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Was just thinking of giving Eridan a nice back-story for why he hates land-dwellers and seeks out romance as much as he did. It'd be nice to think he had something like this on mind when he died. Maybe a dawning realization of regret at what he had become, etc.... I hope you enjoyed it.

[DizzySpecibus]

@SoTL Holy crap. That was amazing, just, amazing beyond belief. Loved it.

[KarneWarrior]

A troll's lament.

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As a child, my lusus was forceful in teaching. Not because I lacked talent, but instead that I disbelieved. Sea-dwellers are a noble race of trolls. And while I had only seen underwater, my lusus thought it important that I understand the land-dwellers. If only I had listened sooner.

One day, as a very young boy, I left the sea. My disbelief over my lusus' wisdom was too strong; I needed to see with my own eyes what the land-dwellers were like. It didn't take long before I found one. A young girl played in a field of flowers along the coast that I rose up out of. She had sharp teeth and black hair, just as much as anyone else I had ever met under the sea. The only difference which bought my attention was her lack of gils. That, and her smile. Living with my lusus had been hard and few understood. A growl stood ready to greet those unlucky to catch my glance. But with this girl, she smiled and played.

I approached cautiously. Not out of fear for my wellbeing but more so fear of my lusus being proven right. The girl had been sitting at my approach, facing to her side from where I stood, but stood as my cape rustled against the rocky shoreline and its sound started her. Alarm took place where joy had been in her eyes, but momentary shock was replace by curiosity. Much as I had never seen a land-dweller, she had never seen a sea-dweller. I took a step back in caution; not wishing to scare or alarm my new friend away. Surely, my usual growl would betray better intentions.

To my surprise, her smile returned; a rising tide meant to greet with welcome. Her hand outreached, I pushed forward and met her kindness. A warmth spread between our first touch and a new friendship was lit. I had fun playing with her in the flowers. The yellows and purples of the petals around us matched well with her green dress. We played for hours until the tide fell. A parting kiss given by her to me; unfamiliar with our romances as such a young age, I withdrew in surprise. Although she seemed disappointed at my response, we promised to meet here again tomorrow.

The sun rose, and I returned to our field of flowers. While uninterested in romance, I enjoyed the time I spent with my new friend and wished to learn more of the land-dwellers. The day before had been a better teacher than my lusus had ever been, or so I thought. The day passed to noon, and my concern grew. Where was the troll in the green dress? I set out to look for her and demand to know why she had not come.

It did not take long to find an answer. Just over a hill near the flowers was her village. I, at least, believe as much. Lawn-rings dotted the plains which opened up before me. A hideious portrait greeted me. Greens, yellows, oranges and browns; the village was covered in blood. And the girl in the green dress; she was nearest where I stood. Her body faced down, drinking in the pool of green blood she lay in. Dead.

I returned to the sea, if only for a moment. The village had been vanguished. Conquered and destroyed by the land-dwellers. Senseless violence driving, destroying, and creating misery. It had been a mistake to talk to the land-dwellers. Though tempting with friendship, they were uncivilized, beastly savages. My lusus was right. I set out to find my lusus, to leave the sea and stand ready to kill them all. The land dwellers must die.

I paused and reached up with my right hand to my right cheek. This is where I had been kissed. Never again would I let romance die unrequited. I will seek out romance just as much as I would kill the beastly land-dwellers.

Author's notes:

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Was just thinking of giving Eridan a nice back-story for why he hates land-dwellers and seeks out romance as much as he did. It'd be nice to think he had something like this on mind when he died. Maybe a dawning realization of regret at what he had become, etc.... I hope you enjoyed it.

E: Shit wait spoilers for Trial by Void. Or I guess technically Starscape, but I haven't reached book 3 yet so...

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Wow.

You know what, I'm going to induct this into Trial by Voids background canon, by which I mean this happened but offscreen and is never fully spelled out.

Just because this is fucking awesome.

[penguinbound]

A Mistake Happens,
A Universe Is Taken

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CurrentcarcinoGeneticist [CG] opened a memo on board IT'S NOT FUN KNOWING YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO NOT EXIST

CCG: OH MAN, I'M KIND OF CRYING RIGHT NOW.
CCG: WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE, GUYS.
CCG: AND WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
CCG: SO, LET'S TALK UNTIL THE END. ):B
CurrentapocalypseArisen [AA] began responding to the memp
CAA: y0ure such a baby karkat
CAA: but i d0 think we sh0uld chat with each 0ther
CAA: its alm0st the end anyway
CAA: last minute c0nfessi0ns and unfinished business sh0uld be taken care 0f n0w
CCG: WELL I'M SORRY I'M CRYING, I JUST
CCG: I NEVER THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE LIKE THIS, I NEVER THOUGHT THAT
CCG: THAT I WAS NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO EXIST!
CAA: d0nt y0u think were all thinking that right n0w
CAA: f0r g0d sakes man y0ure the leader
CAA: y0u cant sh0w weakness in fr0nt 0f the 0nes y0u lead
CAA: man the hell up
CCG: BUT
CAA: im n0t even g0ing t0 let y0u finish that sentence
CAA: i d0nt care ab0ut y0ur reas0ns
CAA: y0ull man up right n0w
CCG: )':B
CurrentadiosToreador [AT] began responding to the memo
CAT: wELL, aRADIA, YOU SHOULD NOT BE SO MEAN TO KARKAT,
CAT: wE ARE ALL NOT DOING TOO GOOD, IF YOU HAVE NOT NOTICED,
CAT: lAY OFF HIM, HE MAY BE THE LEADER, BUT HE IS ALLOWED TO SHOW EMOTIONS,
CAT: aLRIGHT,
CAA: whatever
CAA: i guess i can let it slide if every0ne feels the same
CAA: but 0nly because well be dead s00n
CurrenttwinArmageddons [TA] began responding to the memo
CTA: ii'm 2ure the afterliife wiill not be 2o bad, guy2.
CTA: ii can 2ay that wiith complete optiimii2m becau2e ii've been dead before.
CCG: BUT
CCG: YOU WEREN'T PERMANENTLY DEAD, OR ANYTHING.
CCG: AND YOU WEREN'T COMPLETELY ERASED FROM EXISTENCE, LIKE YOU WERE NEVER ALIVE.
CTA: well ii gue22 the 2iituatiion ii2 a biit diiferent, but, we'll 2tiill be okay, okay?
CTA: no need to cry or anythiing. :))
CurrentarsenicCatnip [AC] began responding to the memo
CAC: :33 <stop using my smiley, sollux!
CAC: :33 <i mean, you never even said please! ;33
CTA: hehe, alriight nepeta, ii'll make 2ure 2 a2k next tiime. ^_^
CAC: :33 <that's kind of a weird smiley sollux.
CAC: :33 <you have my permission to use double faced smiles. okay?
CAC: :33 <just don't use that weird one!
CTA: iit'2 not... not that weiird, ii2 iit??
CCG: CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING DIFFERENT?
CAA: and what d0 y0u pr0p0se
CCG: ...I DON'T KNOW... )':B
CurrentgallowsCalibrator [GC] began responding to the memo
CGC: 4R3 YOU 4LL B31NG M34N TO K4RK4T
CGC: TH4T 1S V3RY 1MPOL1T3 YOU KNOW
CCG: TEREZI!!
CAA: 0f c0urse karkat is the first 0ne t0 resp0nd t0 terezi
CAA: this is a sh0cking n0t-surprise
CAA: every0ne is n0t surprised by this
CCG: WHAT?
CAA: every0ne kn0ws y0u wanna fill a pail with her
CCG: ...
CGC: ...
CAC: :UU <w-e-e-e-l-l
CAC: :33 <that was pretty much the first shipping i confirmed on the wall when we got here.
CAC: :33 <i actually thought you were locked in a heated matesprit
CAC: :UU <but apparently not??
CCG: WELL, UM...
CCG: I DO, UM, HAVE SOME RED FEELINGS FOR YOU TEREZI, I, I GUESS.
CCG: I KIND OF WISH I HAD SAID EARLIER...
CGC: W3LL
CGC: 1 W1LL GL4DLY 4CC3PT YOUR R3D F33L1NGS 4ND T3LL YOU TH4T 1 4M 4LSO FLUSH3D FOR YOU
CGC: 1 C4N 4DM1T TH4T
CAC: :DD <oh yay!!
CAC: :DD <i can confiiiiiiirm this now!!!!!
CAC: :(( <but i guess that doesn't matter now...
CAC: :CC <jeez, i really wish you had done this earlier!
CAC: :(( <can't really do much with my wall now.
CurrentgrimAuxiliatrix [GA] began responding to the memo
CGA: I Propose That Karkat Go Be With Terezi
CGA: At Least Be In The Same Room
CGA: It Will Be Sweet
CGA: That Is What Red Couples Do Right
CGA: I Know The Answer Is Yes
CTA: hehe, ii agree wiith the followiing iidea.
CTA: karkat'2 fiinally gotten a quadrant fiilled!
CTA: probably at the mo2t iinopportune tiime, but, hey! who care2? ii don't!
CGC: UM, OK, THEN.
CGC: I'LL BE RIGHT BACK...
CurrentcarcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased responding to the memo
CAA: thats surprisingly ad0rable
CAA: thank y0u f0r making me feel unwanted em0ti0ns
CGA: Say Aradia
CGA: You Do Not Have Any Quadrants Filled Either
CGA: I Am Right
CGA: That Was Not A Question By The Way
CGA: It Was A Statement
CAA: s0 what if i d0nt
CAA: i d0nt think it matters kanaya
CGA: Well Equius Has Red Feelings For You
CGA: So
CGA: Just A Suggestion
CurrentcentaursTesticle [CT] began responding to the memo
CCT: D -->Kanaya, I told you that in fullest privacy
CCT: D -->The point of privacy is that you only tell one person, and they keep it a secret
CCT: D -->I mean, honestly
CGA: Oh Yes
CGA: Sorry Equius
CGA: I Didnt Mean Too
CurrentgallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased responding to the memo
CTA: hehe, ii thiink karkat arriived! ::D
CCT: D --> Karkat finally told her
CGA: Thanks To My Help
CCT: D --> Quite the meddler
CCT: D --> I think that
-- CurrentcentaursTesticle has been tackled into his computer --
CAC: :?? <well then
CAC: :TT <i like how everyone is off being romantic
CGA: You Are Just Jealous
CGA: Youll Find Someone
CGA: ;)
CurrentarachnidsGrip [AG] began responding to the memo
CAG: Noooooooo she won't!!!!!!!!
CAG: There's no one lefffffffft to beeeeeeee with!!!!!!!!
CGA: What Do You Mean
CAG: )(-e-e-e-e-ey guys!
CGA: Oh My
CAC: :|| <...
CurrentarsenicCatnip [AC] ceased responding to the memo
CTA: well, uh, ii do wii2h that everyone wa2 on here, but, oh well!
CTA: iit'2 not liike we're all goiing to 2uddenly 2tart di2appeariing!
CurrentterminallyCapricious [TC] began responding to the memo
CTC: uUuUuUuUuUuUuH
CTC: eRiDaN jUsT dIsApPeArEd
CTC: JuSt EvApOrAtEd LiKe A
CTC: i DoN't EvEn KnOw
CTA: ...well
CTA: fuck me.
CTC: WoAh
CTC: DiDn'T kNoW yOu LiKeD mE lIkE tHaT
CTA: no, no!
CTA: ii mean
CTA: forget iit, gamzee, ju2t, ju3t forget iit.
CAG: wait
CAG: my moirail is gone???
CAG: D'83
CGA: That Is Certainly Troubling
CGA: I Think The End Is Quite Near Then
CGA: Everyone Should Go With Who They Want
CGA: I Will Go Console Nepeta
CAG: !
CAG: o-o-o-o-o-o-ohhh
CAG: i f-e-el
CAG: baad
CAG: Um, guys, I might need some heeeeeeeelp.
CAG: oh god my stomach!
CAG: it feels like
CAG: Oh my god, oh my god
CurrentarachnidsGrip [AG] ceased responding to the memo
CGA: Oh No
CGA: Eridan And Feferi
CGA: And I Have Just Noticed Tavros Is Missing
CGA: We Can Presume He Was Taken
CGA: I Thought There Was A Pattern
CTA: for once, kanaya
CTA: you were wrong.
---
Oh god, oh gooooooood! "F-Feferi," she mumbles, placing a hand under the pale sea troll's head. Feferi smiles softly. "Oh, oh no, please, Feferi, please be okay..." Vriska's voice was filled with urgency. There was a big gap inbetween Feferi, splitting her in half. But, there was no blood, or anything, she was just gone.

"Heehee, Vriska," Feferi giggles quietly, placing a soft touch on Vriska's arm. "I never knew you could be so caring... but, it's my time. We already knew, Vriska. I'm... I'm okay with it." Feferi blinked, slowly. Her eyes were closed so long, Vriska had thought her dead. They opened again, and she still smiled.

"I'm not." She kissed Feferi softly, and held her until she was gone. Her shirt was soaked with tears.

She was not as startled when the pain started, but her tears stopped, and her depression lightened. She would be with Feferi soon.
---
Aradia slapped Equius. "Wake up, dammit!" She slapped him again, harder this time. "Wake up! Don't fucking do this too me!" She growled again, and ripped his glasses off, and her eyes widened when she saw Equius' were closed. She placed a hand on his chest. He wasn't breathing. She sat for a moment, wondering why it had happened so fast. Not now, not when... not when they were finally...

She took his glasses, and held them close. Then, she sat them down. Something hot burned at her eyes. Tears? Oh god, she had never cried before, she... she couldn't cry now! She placed the glasses down, and cried into her hands. Her chest started to hurt, her eyes burned more. When she finally uncovered her face, she saw, only for a moment, that Equius was gone.

And then her vision went too.
---
Karkat smiled, a sad smile, as he held Terezi in his arms. They had just sat like this since he got to her room. There was something about being able to tangible hold her made his heart go faster. One of her hands was playing with his hair, and slowly, slowly, stopped. "What's the matter?" Karkat raised an eyebrow.

"I think we should check on the others..." She said, quietly, her hand resuming. Karkat shrugged slightly, resting his chin on the top of her head, in between her horns.

"I... I just want to stay like this... please?" Terezi giggled.

"Sure, Karkles."
---
Within a short hour, Karkat was the only one left. Stuck in a small corner of the computer room, with one computer, he curled up, weeping. Everyone was gone. He had fallen asleep, and Terezi was gone when he woke up, he went onto a Transportalizer, and it took him directly to the computer room, which slowly, slowly turned to white nothingness.

And now, here he was. By himself, and soon to be erased from existence himself. Maybe... he'd get to be with his friends? He smiled at the thought. He let out a shaky breath, and glanced at the computer, wiping away a tear.

Maybe...
If he could just...
kind of...

HELLO. THIS IS A MESSAGE. I DON'T KNOW IF ANYONE WILL SEE THIS. HOPEFULLY. I MADE THIS, BECAUSE, I DON'T WANT TO BE FORGOTTEN. I DON'T WANT MY FRIENDS FORGOTTEN. WE WERE HERE. WE LIVED. WE LOVED. WE HATED. WE MEDDLED. WE WEREN'T EXPECTING TO BE ERASED FROM THE CATACOMBS OF LIFE ITSELF.

SO, PLEASE, READ THIS. I'M GOING TO HIT SEND. I DON'T KNOW IF THIS'LL REACH AT LEAST ONE PERSON, BUT... BUT I CAN HOPE, RIGHT?

-Karkat Vantas, 6 Sweeps Old, Bright, Red blood.






And, somewhere, far away, in a distant time, a distant universe, a boy recieves an odd message...

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i made the personalities something like what the actually zodiac thing associates with them

I'm assuming that the zodiac personalities thing is the premise- that it's doomed because that's not how they're supposed to be. Otherwise, I am going to have to chew you out for mischaracterization something FIERCE.

Yeah, the zodiac personalities were the premise. I try my hardest not to mischaracterize.

[Katrika]

Companion story to Queen of Storm, Duke of Thorns. Next up will be Seer of Time.

Thane of Love

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I remember the day I knew I was in love with her. It was snowing, big fat flakes drifting down in lazy spirals. We lived in the same apartment block, so we often walked home from school together. I was grumpy because of the snow, but she started smiling and catching snowflakes in her mouth, and she looked so happy I decided I didn’t mind it, and that’s when I knew.

Her name was Ellen, and she loved falling snow and clear night skies and eating apple slices with peanut butter. If you asked her what the most important thing in the world was to her, she’d say her family. The second most important thing was her comics. Once, when we’d been dating for 3 weeks, I asked her what the third most important thing was. She said it was her electric blue tights, the one with the hearts on them, then she laughed and said it was me, silly.

She died two months, four days, and 9 hours ago, and I was the one who killed her.

Only, that’s not really true, is it? I was just playing a game. Paul should have TOLD me it was real earlier. I would have gotten her and her family and my family all in my apartment, come up with some excuse. But he didn’t, and when I got to the Land of Oceans and Regret, she was gone.

He killed her, not me. He’s the one with her blood on his hands. What’s going to happen next, that’s on his head too. Smug bastard with his time powers and his fucking precognition. He swears he’s not allowed to warn us of things ahead of time, that fate has to ‘run its course’, but that’s a load of bullshit. When the time comes tomorrow, I’m going to kill him nice and slow.

That’s the thing, see. Everyone thinks I’m nice and harmless, totally on their side. The Thane of Love is no threat. It’s true, I have nothing personal against anyone but Paul. The rest of them, they were my friends. I cared about them. I still rather like most of them. But as much as I like them, I love Ellen more.

(Two months, 6 days, and 10 hours ago. On the roof of the apartment complex. Meteors streak across the sky, but me and Ellen, we’re nice and warm in the blankets we brought up. We aren’t doing anything dirty. She just wants to watch the ‘fascinating phenomenom.’ She snuggles up against me, and I feel a happy blush settle across my cheeks. She looks over at me.

“Phillip? What if something happens?”

“Something? Be more specific.”

“They say the meteors are getting awfully close to the earth, Phil. My dad is trying to brush it off, but I’m scared. What if something happens?”

My arm tightens around her shoulders.

“Nothing’s going to happen. Not if I can help it.”)

A childish promise, some would say. What could one kid do against several tons of rock? Hopeless. Only, I could have kept that promise, with enough warning. I could have!

I still can.

(One month, two weeks, three days, and 1 hour ago. I sit on the sand of the beach, not moving. Everything reminds me of her, even now. My fault. My fault. My handset beeps. I don’t pick it up. I’m going through the motions, but nothing matters. My fault. My fault. It buzzes again, and again, and finally I pick it up to shut the damn thing off.

The screen is blank.

I stare.

Suddenly, I get the idea to highlight it.

“Hello, Phillip. Do exactly what I tell you and you can be with Ellen again.”)

So there you have it. Tomorrow we face the Black King, and I do what needs to be done. Gale and Sharon are kissing, finally, neither of them realizing I’m awake. I’m happy for them, you know? Love is a wonderful thing. I’ll make sure they die quickly.

I can’t wait to see you again, Ellen.

Love conquers all.

Author's Notes

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Going to do a whole series with this session, I think. I hope you guys enjoy it!

[Graven_Image]

Katrika, that is lovely. And terrifying.


Ah, I remember when I was writing an alt-session. Those were good times.

[lantadyme]

Here's some of a Vriska thing I've been working on. Warning for blood because it's set right after she loses her arm. I hope my characterization isn't too shoddy. :[

Bite Down: Part 1

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She loses consciousness somewhere after she funnels barked instructions through Tavros to Terezi's stupid lusus. Her vision spots with black, tunnels closing in all around her, and Vriska slips into dead dreamland and collapses to the floor.

It doesn't hold her long. If she were any other troll it would hold her, but Vriska's not any troll. She's the best troll (the best); she's trained herself to sleep as little as possible, in as short increments as she can. Sleep is like clockwork for Vriska because sleeping is the one time she's not watching her back. The one time she's not safe.

Sleeping is when that monster that sits right outside her back door can creep about unnoticed, and Vriska can't even count the number of times she's woken to find herself halfway to that back door, dragged there by tiny mouthless spider minions.

Nice try, spidermom, she always snarks, laughing, but deep inside nothing else in the world sparks terror in her heart like those moments when she is completely and utterly helpless, the spider minions' hairs itching at her skin and her lusus' blue eyes blazing just outside the doorway. Hungry, and never satisfied.

She wakes with a start, face down in her own blue blood and it smells vile. It smells like death and Vriska knows that stink so well. She jerks upright, her head swimming with dizziness and her vision all wrong. Everything looks wrong; flat and lifeless and drained of color. She swallows and shakes her head to clear it, but that only makes the dizziness worse. When she clutches her temples to still the spinning, her palm sticks to the slick blood trailing from her eye and then she remembers—

The explosion of radium and ozone. The flash of blinding white light.

Half blind and bleeding, she sits there and shakes. She's missing an entire arm. She can see it there stiff and lifeless on the floor next to her, but even with cold white reality staring her in the face she has trouble convincing herself it's real. Part of her wonders why the pain isn't so bad but she's been just outside her lusus' jaws so many times, been grazed by the shooting fire venom that laces her fangs, that her nerve endings simply don't feel pain that much anymore.

Vriska makes herself breathe. She stares down at the blood all over her bedroom floor, thick and runny and sopping into the carpet, and she knows she can't stay here. If anyone can smell blood it's her lusus and Vriska knows she doesn't have the strength to fight off minions right now.

Part of her wants to laugh, to stay and watch them boil in through the doors and the windows and bury themselves in blood in a miniature conga line, carrying the arm back to her lusus as a prize. Maybe finally tasting some of her flesh will get the huge demanding spider to calm down with the kidnapping attempts for a while.

But she pushes herself to her feet and leaves her severed arm there. Her knees are trembling and ready to give and she knows she needs to go now if she wants to have enough energy left over to tackle the stairs. She leans hard into the wall, blood streaking along the paint behind her as she walks. Her shoulder is a dull burning sensation but she can't see it. The eye closest to it is lodged with white marble shrapnel and sees nothing, and she can only turn her head so far without sending hot fire through the torn flesh of her shoulder. So she ignores it instead and just walks, leaning against the wall and breathing, counting footstep after footstep as she makes her way slowly to her front door.

It's black with storm clouds outside. The wind is wet and sticky and tearing and Vriska winces at the fat raindrops that slice into her butchered shoulder. She holds her good arm out for balance and sets her feet into the thickening mud, and with the lightning flickering in the background she finds the road that leads toward the bridge over the chasm.

Toward her creepy neighbor's hive.

The last thing she wants is to owe that freak a favor, but maybe she can convince him to let her sleep on his entranceway floor for a few hours. She doesn't think she has the energy left to pull a manipulation whammy on him and his lusus so she'll have to settle for actual talking. Actual talking that takes so much more brain power than she has blood left to concentrate on, but Vriska is the best at persuasion (the best), and it'll have to do.

Her balance is on its teetering edge of collapse as she forces her legs over those last few yards. She leans hard on his doorframe, her vision swimming with black spots again, and she raises one shaking finger to press a smudge of blue blood into his doorbell.

It takes him forever to answer. Vriska wobbles there, her knees threatening to give and her world spinning. It feels like the entire cliff is moving beneath her feet and she rests her forehead against the frame to give her some semblance of stillness. She needs her head in the game here. She needs to be able to think straight and part of her is screaming with anger that her body has betrayed her so entirely.

Nothing is ever easy. Nothing. Why, why why?

The door cracks slowly, the lightning flashing behind her and glinting off his stupid broken glasses, and in the darkness Vriska feels her mouth pull up into a cruel smile. Yeah that's right, thanks for falling right into her web of plans, buddy.

But how does she play this? He's got his mind all twisted up in the blood castes and she can spin a plea off that. She can do that. But is that what will get what she needs right now?

Hey, hey Equius. Heeeeeeeey! Are you just going to stand there and watch me bleed all over your doorstep? Sorry about that by the way, but I need a favor right now. You're higher than me on the blood-totem and all, right? Can I throw myself on your meeeeeeeercies? The words come out all wrong though, none of the honey-smooth suggestion in her voice. Instead she sounds drunk and strangled. Her lips are bleeding, torn up by the explosion, and she can't get them around some of the words. Instead she spits little clouds of blood that shine in the lightning as they splatter against his door.

Oh god, what is wrong with her? Try again. Quick.

Let me in, okay? I'm not really feeling staying at home right now. I know I'm not exactly presentable for a houseguest, but you don't mind, right? Riiiiiiiight? You don't mind helping me out. No no no, she still sounds pathetic and dying, and then her knees do give out. She slides down the slick wood of his doorframe and slumps in a puddle of her useless bloody legs, and the last thing she sees before the black takes over her vision is him stepping outside and crouching down beside to her.

---

It crosses his mind that he could simply not help her. He has never been fond of his neighbor. It's not that she's a bad neighbor, she simply invites all these strange low-bloods over to play the crass, brutal games she's obsessed with—games that paint the hills around their hives with visceral reds and yellows and greens and fill the air with the sweet stink of rotting blood. It doesn't make for the proper upstanding blueblooded neighborhood he really desires.

Still, Equius supposes that if Authour was as ravenous as Vriska's lusus he would be obsessed with the games too. What a difference a few shades of blue to the right makes; a civilized lusus for a troll as civilized as he is.

Pondering the decision, he watches her for a moment. The blood drips steadily from her torn shoulder but it's not streaming as such an injury would at first. Her flesh is already attempting to put itself back together. Her eye is hollow and full of gore, and the skin across the left side of her face is scorched and still peppered with shrapnel. Part of him is truly disgusted by how her obsession with those games has reached around and utterly brutalized her. Disgusted enough that he almost wants to close the door and simply be done with it all.

He's not a monster though. He may be cripplingly STRONG but he would never hurt something on purpose. He goes out of his way to prevent that sort of thing. The thunder crashes in deafening booms and he stoops there next to her as rain splatters across his back and into her black hair.

The floorboards creak behind him and Equius looks over his shoulder to find Aurthour standing quietly in the doorway. The lusus arches an eyebrow, a silent, Well? that Equius knows he doesn't need to answer.

(And this is the scary part, because Nepeta has brought him small animals before, smiling and trusting and telling him he would never learn to control his strength if he didn't practice. He'd stood there next to her with hoprabbits milling around his ankles, quietly terrified, and he had wrung their necks by accident every time.)

He picks her up as if she's made of tissue paper, as if the slightest touch will rip her in two, and he stands again and follows his lusus back into the depths of his hive.

---

Vriska coughs and coughs and coughs and it feels like her lungs are full of tar. She's on her back in the darkness somewhere, on something hard, and her whole body aches. Oh, it aches. Feels like she's fallen down a cliff at a tumble and her eye is just burning with fire. She rolls to her right and curls her knees toward her chest, and after a few moments she finally gets her breath.

She looks up and there are robots everywhere, some finished, most in various states of disrepair or destruction. It stinks of motor oil and they're everywhere and that's not okay. That is so far from okay. Robots are things that creepy creepy creepoids like, creepoids that are not Vriska, and she is not okay with this. Dead glass eyes watch her from every corner of the room and she feels a frightened squeak rising up in her throat. She slips off the worktable she's been lying on and dashes for the door.

She only gets three steps before the vertigo closes in on her again. Black spots invade her tunnel vision and she crashes hard on her knees on the floor. Robot trash is everywhere beneath her one hand and she pushes her forehead into the ground in panicked hope that the dizziness with fade soon. That it will fade and she can get up and out and away from this all. But it doesn't. Even two minutes later she still feels it, and her fingertips are so cold. Her legs are cold and tingling and her eye is full of spinning black spots.

Strong hands are suddenly on her back and she hadn't even heard the footsteps. Vriska lurches away, the squeak finally bubbling out of her throat because there's no way she's letting her lusus get her. There's no way. Spook her with robots, yeah that's fucked up but fine. No eating though. No eating!

It's not her lusus though. She notices it after she's crawled halfway across the room, and what is that thing? It's got a face almost like a troll but all wrong and why is this happening to her? It holds its hands out to calm her down, and when it advances again Vriska doesn't really have the strength to run a second time. It hooks one hand under her knees, one against the small of her back, and it sets her gingerly back on the worktable. And then it doesn't move.

You are going to injure yourself further, he says, not the lusus but a voice she recognizes. Fucking Equius, Vriska realizes as she remembers the slow painful climb up to his hive. Oh. She'd asked him for help. Right.

Why am I so dizzy? What did you doooooooo to me, you creep? What are you doing to me with all these robots? She barks questions and they still sound slurred and broken despite how full of venom they are. Ugh. What is wrong with her?

He doesn't talk at first, coming around to the opposite side of the table as his creepy lusus, and then he bends slightly to look at her shoulder. You've lost an excessive amount of blood. Standing at this time would be in very poor judgment.

Yeah, well fuck you too, she mutters, not caring if she offends him at this point. Her tongue feels like it's twice as big as it should be. And then he touches her shoulder. (Touches her!) She jerks her head over to see what he's doing but she still can't see her shoulder. She can't see it with her eye all ruined like it is. She scowls at his face instead, reaching up with her good hand to slap him away as hard as she can—

But then she sees it in the reflection of his stupid broken glasses. The tangled gore of her shoulder is wrapped up in a clot-cloth, the flesh around it still burnt an ugly blue. It looks like it hurts. It looks like it really hurts, and even looking at it makes Vriska feel a bit sick as she turns away. She's seen worse injuries on the trolls she's fed her lusus, but never in that intimate shade of blue before.

Don't touch me, she says around her swollen tongue and shredded lips. I'm broken up enough, I don't need your stupid hands snapping any more bones.

It's almost funny how quickly his hands fall away, knotting themselves together nervously on the table next to her. He's terrified of hurting her. He frowns down at her with a weird determined guilt in his eyes and Vriska has no idea what he's planning, but something in her knows that she can trust him for at least another night or so. He's obviously taking care of her. Making sure she doesn't bleed out from the gaping wound in her shoulder.

Yeah he's a creep, but she feels a certain cruel pride in knowing she'd picked the right mark, played her cards perfectly, and now she's getting the medical attention she needs. Even half dead she's still the best (the best). Her mouth pulls up into that venomous smile again and she has to drag her gaze away from his eyes before he notices it.

Thanks Equius. Thaaaaaaaanks.

These robots, she mutters, her throat full of gravel. I'm not okay with these robots. Isn't there some other place you can put me?

No. There's no argument in his voice.

Augh, whatever. She wants to plead the point, put some needling whine into her words and lead him around on a leash, but she doesn't trust her mouth to do it right. She doesn't trust it and her head feels so empty, like it's full of radium and ozone and her thoughts are falling apart again. What's the matter with her? Blood loss sucks. She feels all wrong and that creepy lusus is still staring down at her, and Vriska closes her eye and throws her one hand over it, trying to block everything out.

[Katrika]

Your alt-session actually took root in my brain and inspired me to actually write mine. xD Kind of established precedence?

[Sporkaganza]

I was like "hey the alternate selves meme is cool but i don't really want to to a blood thing".

So I wrote this piece of absolute bollocks.

Beep Beep Meow

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-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling geneticCalamity [GC] --

CG: OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.
GC: THAT'S MY LINE YOU DOUCHEBAG.
CG: WHY IS THERE EVEN A FEMALE VERSION OF ME. IT'S JUST WRONG.
GC: HEY FUCKASS I THINK YOU'VE GOT IT BACKWARDS.
CG: WELL YOU CERTAINLY SOUND LIKE ME.
CG: I WAS AFRAID YOU'D BE ALL LADYLIKE OR SOME SHIT.
GC: HEY, ASSHOLE, I'M PERFECTLY LADYLIKE.
GC: YOU'RE NO GENTLEMAN YOURSELF.
CG: HEY, I'M TOTALLY A GENTLEMAN.
CG: AT LEAST MORE THAN THOSE OTHER FUCKASSES.
CG: COMPARED TO ALL THOSE FUCKING WRIGGLERS I'M DOWNRIGHT NICE.
GC: I'LL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT, ALTHOUGH IF YOU REALLY ARE ME I DON'T DOUBT IT.
CG: SO I'M SORT OF CURIOUS HOW I EVEN TRANSLATE TO GIRL-NESS HERE.
CG: IT DOESN'T REALLY COMPUTE.
GC: FUNNY, I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING.
GC: ONLY, YOU KNOW. OPPOSITE.
CG: WELL, UH, HERE'S ME.

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] sent geneticCalamity [CG] "karkat.png" --

GC: ...
GC: YEP THAT PRETTY MUCH JUST LOOKS LIKE...
GC: ME, ONLY... A DUDE.
GC: ALSO I GUESS THAT'S THE MALE VERSION OF "KARKET" THEN
CG: KARKET? WHAT KIND OF SHITFUCK RETARDED NAME IS THAT?
GC: MY NAME DICKHEAD. DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT CHIVALRY IS?
CG: OH GROSS FUCK THAT.
GC: FINE, JACKWAD, THIS IS ME THEN.

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] sent geneticCalamity [CG] "karket.png" --

CG: OH GOD.
CG: WHERE DO I EVEN FUCKING BEGIN HERE.
CG: OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU HAVE ALMOST EXACTLY THE SAME FACE AS ME
CG: WHICH IS FUCKED UP.
CG: BUT OH MY GOD
CG: A PONYTAIL? REALLY?
GC: HEY IT'S BETTER THAN YOUR HAIR. DO YOU EVEN COMB IT? IT'S FUCKING EVERYWHERE.
CG: AND WHAT THE HELL'S UP WITH...
CG: A PLAID SKIRT? WITH KNEE SOCKS? REALLY?
GC: HEY FUCK YOU IT'S FASHIONABLE.
CG: FASHIONABLE? WHAT, ARE YOU FUCKING KANAYA OR SOMETHING?
CG: OR... KANAYO OR WHATEVER?
GC: WHAT NO HE'S CALLED KANAYA OVER HERE TOO.
GC: FRANKLY I THINK HE'D BE BETTER AS A GIRL.
GC: AND NO I'M NOT IT'S JUST THAT PEOPLE PERCEIVE YOU DIFFERENTLY BASED ON HOW YOU DRESS.
GC: IT'S BASIC FUCKING PSYCHOLOGY.
CG: YEAH WHATEVER.
CG: YOU'RE WORSE THAN PAST ME, I SWEAR TO GOD.
GC: OH GOD DON'T FUCKING START WITH PAST ME.
GC: WHAT A BITCH.
CG: CAN'T BE AS BAD AS MY PAST ME.
CG: HE'S SUCH A TARD.
GC: AAAAAND NOW YOU'RE TRYING TO ONE-UP ME.
GC: BLUH BLUH I HAVE IT SO MUCH WORSE THAN YOU DO WHINE WHINE.
GC: I BET GAMZIE DIDN'T FLIP HER SHIT IN YOUR WORLD.
CG: NO, HE DID.
CG: AND ERIDAN FLIPPED OUT AND KILLED EVERYBODY WITH WHITE MAGIC TOO.
GC: YOU MEAN NERIDA? NO, THAT HAPPENED HERE TOO.
GC: OH GOD, I COULDN'T STAND HER AT ALL.
GC: PRETENTIOUS HIPSTER BITCH. THANK GOD SHE BIT IT.
CG: I GUESS HIS PRETENTIOUS HIPSTER BULLSHIT IS CONSTANT IN EVERY UNIVERSE THEN.
GC: PROBABLY.
GC: ANYWAY, THIS HAS BEEN A TOTALLY POINTLESS CONVERSATION AND A WASTE OF BOTH OUR TIME.
CG: AGREED. SO LONG BITCHFACE.
GC: YEAH, BYE BYE DOUCHEBAG.
GC: AND I THOUGHT TERUZO WAS A PRICK.

-- geneticCalamity [GC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

CG: ...
CG: TERUZO?
CG: ...
CG: OH WELL, AT LEAST SHE WAS CUTE-
CG: OH GOD DID I REALLY JUST TYPE THAT?

Ugh, so lame. Someone should ban me from writing things ever again.

[Metaflare]

If you were banned from writing things ever again you wouldnt be able to write SOSburb and that would be a dishonor to all fics everywhere

[Sporkaganza]

Fine, it's just...

Blaaaaaaaaah sometimes I can write Karkat well and sometimes I suck ass at it and that was totally ass-suckage. But it was just written for fun anyhow.

Fem!Karkat wearing a plaid skirt and knee socks will forever be my headcanon, though. Zettai ryouiki all the way.

[Katrika]

I really liked that!

[Sporkaganza]

Yay! I still don't love it, but I guess it was okay for something I just did on a whim.

It was really supposed to set up the conversation I wanted to write between Eridan and his female counterpart, though. Maybe later I dunno.

[Graven_Image]

Yay! I still don't love it, but I guess it was okay for something I just did on a whim.

It was really supposed to set up the conversation I wanted to write between Eridan and his female counterpart, though. Maybe later I dunno.

OH MY GOD DO THIS

DO THIS AND WATCH THE SPARKS FLY

[Dermonster]

But will it be red or black... or dare i say it...

MAROON...