FCG 2:16 HOURS FROM NOW opened memo on board ASSH0LES 0F TIME.
FCG: LISTEN UP, FUCKTARDS.
FCG: THIS B0ARD, WHICH IS F0R VERSI0NS OF ME 0NLY, WILL AND HAS ALREADY SERVED AS A L0G OF EXACTLY WHAT PAST ME HAS ALREADY FUCKED UP AND WHAT HE'S G0ING TO FUCK UP NEXT.
FCG: THIS IS 0BVI0USLY C0MPLETELY P0INTLESS BECAUSE WE'RE L0CKED INT0 THIS C0URSE 0F EVENTS REGARDLESS.
FCG: WE ARE SITTING AR0UND SCRATCHING 0UT TALLY MARKS 0N THE WALLS 0F THE CULLING DUNGE0N.
FCG: BUT I'M TYPING THIS ANYWAY BECAUSE I WANT TO MAKE IT ENTIRELY CLEAR JUST H0W AWFUL Y0U ASSH0LES ARE IN EVERY WAY IMAGINABLE.
PAST clockworkGuardian [PCG] 601 HOURS AGO responded to memo.
PCG: UGH, W0ULD YOU JUST SHUT UP FOR 0NCE.
PCG: SERI0USLY, Y0U'RE W0RSE THAN THE DEAD GUYS.
PCG: AT LEAST THEY HAD THE C0URTESY T0 FUCKING WHISPER.
FCG: FUCK Y0U.
Originally Posted by Graven_Image
HAHAHA, oh man. Karkatbot and Spiderpeta must be expanded upon.
They have to be.
Hehe, well I am about tapped out as far as spider puns go, but if anyone else wants to expand on the premise, feel free.
Last edited by ceruleanTresses; 02-21-2011 at 03:01 PM.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by Jenivi7
You pull him to the deck and then across it by the remains of his shirt. Let him say one last goodbye. His ship pillaged, his crew murdered, his hands bound behind his back and at your mercy.
Funny word, that. Mercy.
Time to stop playing games for girls, Orphaner, you tell him. You're tall but he's taller so you have to reach up to kiss him and he's far too eager for it, for a release from the tension that's been building during the engagement but it's an engagement he's lost and you show him exactly what that means when you slide the long knife into his side, sharp and jagged, then tear it out again.
He doubles over in pain and you briefly admire that he doesn't scream or cry out before leaning your full weight against his shoulders and shoving him over the rail.
Orphaner Dualscar. You taste the name on you lips, weight it against his kiss as you watch the tides drag him under.
If he dies, it's a good death for the best pursuer you've had thus far.
Your rather hope that he lives.
Yes, more Mindfang/Dualscar please.
Originally Posted by ceruleanTresses
NEPETA: ::: < *ac feels a telltale vibration in her web!*
NEPETA: ::: < *a hapless insect has wandered into her trap!*
KARKATBOT: W0w, that's really fucking creepy.
NEPETA: ::: < how does it feel????????
KARKATBOT: It feels 0kay. It l00ks like crap, but at least I'm tangible n0w.
KARKATBOT: C0ngratulations, y0u win the prize for n0t c0mpletely screwing this up.
KARKATBOT: I'm s0lemnly pressing the treasured Medal of Adequacy int0 your weird r0b0t claws.
KARKATBOT: Ribbit.
NEPETA: ::: < that metaphor is really spinning out of control!
NEPETA: ::: < and thats not even what I meant, silky!
NEPETA: ::: < i mean, do you feel anything else????????
KARKATBOT: Um...
NEPETA: ::: < anything that might be relevant to
NEPETA: ::: < my shipping web?! :::
KARKATBOT: I d0n't even kn0w what the hell y0u're talking ab0ut.
NEPETA: ::: < you dont feel any little flies tugging at your heartstrings?
KARKATBOT: Wait.
KARKATBOT: WHAT THE FUCK.
KARKATBOT: DID Y0U PR0GRAM THIS R0B0T T0
KARKATBOT: 0H MY G0D, I D0N'T EVEN HAVE A PR0TEIN CHUTE YET SOMEH0W I STILL WANT T0 V0MIT.
KARKATBOT: THE FUCK IS WR0NG WITH Y0U?!
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
So, speaking of alt sessions, I made one:
View Setting
==>
Welcome to Vocatus.
It’s a beautiful place. The moderate year round climate ensures optimal living conditions. There are beaches with sunny days year round for those who want them and temperate climes with snowfall for those who don’t. The planet is rich in natural resources, with deposits of oil, metal, and naturally impure silicon distributed evenly underneath its five continents and arable land being ridiculously plentiful.
Aside from a multitude of cute and largely inoffensive creatures, the planet is inhabited by a race of sapient humanoids calling themselves Vocatians. They are generally svelte in appearance, have excellent balance, and are fairly clever. For complex reasons, they tend to enter sexual maturity after having matured almost completely intellectually and over halfway physically.
Vocation romance is not complicated at all. When the time comes, a Vocatian instinctively seeks out their perfect partner as determined by compatibility, ease of access, and a multitude of other elementary factors. Such partners are called Monogams and they tend to stay together their whole lives. Aside from this, there is basically nothing weird or complicated about Vocatian romance.
Vocatian education tends to be pretty rigorous. All Vocatians are instructed in self-defense, the nature of time and space, electronics, common sense, genetics, communication techniques, and common sense. The education system, along with language and money, is standardized across the entire World State.
Vocatian culture is notable for the rarity of irony. It was popular in the early days, and many religions depict the gods as greatly enjoying irony. But in modern Vocatian society the paradigm tends away from insincere detachment and towards genuine enthusiasm. Many philosophers theorize that on some very deep level the gods would have enjoyed that.
Okay, enough exposition. Introduce yourself.
==>
Can do.
There are many students here at the Academy For Young Geniuses, but you are something else. Something special.
You, Damien Overmann, are the best of the best of the best.
This is not because you’re the smartest one here. If pressed you will admit there are those who outshine you academically. And not because you are by far the most athletic - you still don’t measure up to the exceedingly high standards of the professional sports competitions, and there are those who can eclipse your prowess with other talents.
No, the reason you are clearly the best is because you are able to take your fellow students, who are as wild as sea breeze and as bright and hot as hearts of stars, and forge them into workable teams. Several successfully completed projects with you as the leader have easily catapulted you to the top of the prestige ladder. And that was before this project.
The first ever confirmed alien transmission.
Receiving it would have been enough. But you have spent a year transforming it into executable code. And now you have something extraordinary on your hands. Something that will transform the world one way or another. You wish you could be running it right now. In fact, you would be, except for some reason it requires a server player. This bodes ill, but you care not. You have assembled a team to run this program in sequence. Most of them rock almost as much as you do, and you are about to contact your chosen server player.
Check MSPaintadventures.com
==>
You don’t really see why you’d want to. Vocatian Andrew Hussie seems to have an interesting format going, but his art is going to have to improve quite a bit before his comic will be worth looking at.
Fine, contact your Server Player already
==>
You’re contacting him already! It’ll take just a moment for the excellent chat program known as RoleCall to find him.
Perfectly Awesome [PA] has cordially requested the attention of Rational Researcher [RR]
PA: It.
PA: Is.
PA: TIME.
RR: …to dial it down a notch or twelve. Overdramatic much?
PA: Well, pardon me if reverse-engineering an alien transmission and coding it into a workable computer program with the ability to alter living environments and unlock interdimensional doorways seems like a cause to ham it up a bit. I suppose when you’re attempting to cross-breed roses, you don’t have much cause for celebration.
RR: Oh, no. You do not get to be smug about this. Someone else did the hard work of manipulating matter. You just figured out how to read it.
PA: Yes, well, if we’re going down that road, it’s the plants doing the really hard work of photosynthesis and whatnot.
PA: Now are you ready or aren’t you?
RR: Almost.
RR: There’s just one thing.
PA: Okay, this should be good.
PA: What’s the problem?
RR: The problem is that this whole thing is horribly unsafe.
RR: As you mention, this thing could make holes in time and space for all you know.
RR: I won’t ask you to reconsider this course of action; we all know you won’t.
RR: But if we’re going to do this, you’re going to start by contacting everybody in the group and making sure they have everything they need.
RR: If we have power issues or unstable network connections or lost games, I’m quitting right now.
PA: And that’s it?
PA: I check in with the others and if they’re all ready, then you’re going to start this thing without any more complaining?
RR: Yes.
PA: Well, then, terms accepted!
PA: Let’s roll.
Perfectly Awesome [PA] no longer requires the attention of Rational Researcher [RR]
Contact the rest of the team?
==>
Yeah, pretty much. Once RR gets up on his high horse, it’s just easier to indulge him. Anyway, he’s right. Might as well make sure everything’s in working order before you start.
Perfectly Awesome [PA] has cordially requested the attention of Sunlit Waters [SW]
PA: Hey, RR won’t let us get off the ground until he makes sure all our ducks are lined up in a row.
PA: Are you doing all right?
SW: The thing about getting Internet underwater
SW: Is that once you get it, it tends to stay put.
SW: It’s not like your flimsy land-dweller connections that can be taken out by some bad weather.
SW: There is no room for error down here.
PA: Sounds like things are going swimmingly, then. 8)
SW: …
SW: Was that a nautical pun?
PA: Maybe?
SW: Make one more and I’m out of this project.
SW: Is that clear?
PA: Okay, but why?
SS: Because I do not appreciate those.
SW: I spent half my life here under the sea.
SW: I love it here.
SW: And the one thing that spoils the experience?
SW: That would be smartass little land-dwellers who think it’s funny to make puns about water or fish or sea bottom.
SW: It’s not funny.
SW: Make another pun, and the deal’s off.
PA: Wow, we really need to hang out more.
PA: Somehow I never knew that about you!
SW: Meh.
SW: It doesn’t actually come up as much as you’d think.
PA: Sorry about that, then.
PA: As long as you’re all right, though, would you mind pinging someone else for me?
SW: Yes.
SW: Or no.
SW: As in, no I wouldn’t mind and yes I will do this for you.
SW: I will contact DS, thus monopolizing the attention of the one remaining relatively sane party member and leaving you to deal with the others.
SW: That should be enough in the way of revenge for the moment.
PA: Well, I happen to like people who are slightly off-kilter.
PA: So this works out, I think.
SW: My plan, it is foiled.
SW: Curses and damnations.
PA: Victory is always mine! 8D
SW: I’ll get you next time.
Perfectly Awesome [PA] no longer requires the attention of Sunlit Waters [SW]
Contact more teammates
==>
Okay, but you’re going to need a moment to concentrate. Remember those smarter people you mentioned in your introduction? This girl is one of them. A product of a laboratory attempting to create a superintelligent Vocatian. Gone wonderfully right, as most experiments are wont to do. If she has her way, within thirty more years you will just be another part of a Cyborg Collective Consciousness. But until that moment comes, you will need to borrow her help.
Perfectly Awesome [PA] has cordially requested the attention of Incoming Singularity [IS]
PA: Hey, listen.
PA: I need you to do something for me.
IS: Oh, wow, is the time of longing upon you?
IS: I would never have imagined it would be me you would seek out.
IS: Or is it something more illicit you seek?
IS: And if so, then what kind of girl do you take me for?
PA: Did your mind seriously go there, or am I being teased?
IS: You have successfully seen through my veil of social deception.
IS: You may now ask me one serious question of your choice.
PA: You are good at this wordplay thing.
PA: Much better than QS, actually. You should give him some pointers.
IS: Linguistics does not excite me as it does him.
IS: My bulging brain can only be fully stimulated by more extensive mysteries.
IS: Now – your question?
PA: Are you ready? And in a follow-up that should technically count as a part of the first question, if you are ready, could you message Sebastian and tell him you’re ready?
IS: Shrewd, Mr. Overmann. Very shrewd indeed.
IS: I find your dual question to be…
IS: Acceptable.
IS: And yes, I am ready. What could possibly impede my progress?
IS: You will recall that my lab has its own power generator.
PA: You mean the one with enough power to run half of the continent?
IS: That is indeed the power generator I was referring to.
IS: This is not to mention my own dedicated satellite for Internet access.
IS: And an army of creations that spit into the face of the various gods and/or Gods to drive off unwanted interlopers.
PA: So you’re good?
IS: I am better than good.
IS: I am in fact fantastic.
PA: Do you really want to get into that contest with me?
IS: I must admit I relish the challenge.
IS: But perhaps another date will prove more auspicious.
PA: Deal.
PA: I will look forward to it.
IS: As will I.
IS: Now hurry up and get this started so that you may hand me the power to make time and space my playthings.
Perfectly Awesome [PA] no longer requires the attention of Incoming Singularity [IS]
SW: Introduce yourself
==>
Okay, you suppose. Your name is Maxwell Indigo and you leave under the sea.
To clarify, you still have to breathe normal air. Your days outside are spent in submarines and diving suits and this is not a friendly environment. But you would not trade it for anything. Let others enjoy their projects in whatever way they please. Your love is for the ocean. The wonders you find down here are worth the inconvenience. They are worth any inconvenience. You are an ocean-dweller, not by blood but by choice.
SW: Contact teammate already
==>
Okay, okay. Jeez, relax a little. You’re sure there is plenty of time for that.
Sunlit Waters [SW] has cordially requested the attention of Dissonant Serenity [DS]
SW: Are you ready?
DS: I am ready.
DS: But also occupied.
DS: Please tell RR that I will see him soon
DS: But don’t bother me until it’s my turn.
DS: No offense, of course.
SW: None taken.
SW: Bye.
Sunlit Waters [SW] no longer requires the attention of Dissonant Serenity [DS]
That sort of conversation is why you like dealing with that girl. She’s easy to handle. But that was so short it doesn’t really feel like you’re doing your part. You suppose you could check in with someone else, but you really don’t like dealing with Overmann’s other friends. You need a minture to think about it.
Be Perfectly Awesome
==>
Good command. One that more of us should strive to follow.
Perfectly Awesome [PA] has cordially requested the attention of Rainbow Grimace [RG]
PA: You are ready, yes?
PA: You have not been distracted?
RG: As a matter of fact I have been!
RG: But it’s all right, I’ve prepared everything days in advance so that I could get as distracted as I want!
RG: :o)
PA: Oh no.
PA: Please don’t start the clown thing.
RG: Screw you. :o|
RG: Clowns are cool.
RG: End of story.
PA: Hey, you’ll get no argument from me.
PA: It’s just that I don’t want you to trip and spill the fabric of reality all over yourself.
PA: Keep work and fun separate, yes?
RG: Sure, no problem! :o)
PA: So...
PA: Are you sure I can’t interest you in a co-authorship of the papers on this thing?
PA: I couldn’t have done any of this without you.
RG: Nah. I want to be a clown, not a puffed-up academic! :op
RG: Besides, I just told you to stand on the roof with an antenna and a recording device one night.
RG: You were the one who did all the coding for a year straight.
RG: It’s not really equal, is it? :o)
PA: Well...if you’re sure.
PA: But I still don’t know where you get all this information.
RG: My eyes are bathed by the light of knowledge. :o)
RG: But my darker heritage means that other things whisper into my ears. :o(
PA: For the last time, mimes aren’t evil!
RG: Neither is darkness. :o|
PA: Point.
RG: Now do you want to talk about the complex metaphysics of prophecy, or do you want to go and stop this effort from being unraveled by overcautious colleagues?
PA: The latter.
PA: So long.
RG: Good luck! :o)
Perfectly Awesome [PA] no longer requires the attention of Rainbow Grimace [RG]
RG: You’re going to need it, my friend. :’o(
SW: Make up your mind
==>
You suppose you might as well go through with this.
Sunlit Waters [SW] has cordially requested the attention of Ruthlessly Inefficient [RI]
SW: I am doing PA the favor of looking into your wellbeing.
SW: Even though I promised him I would only look into one person, I am checking up on two.
SW: I hope you both appreciate the sacrifice I am making in getting in contact with you.
RI: Wow, veiled insults towards my personality.
RI: And the rest of us wonder why you have to live under the deep blue sea.
RI: Here’s a hint: it’s because you get along with fish better than you do with humans.
SW: Yes, yes, we’ve established that we’re working together in spite of our preferences.
SW: Perhaps this will end up being some sort of a buddy cop type situation.
SW: Or perhaps we’ll just stay far from each other on the chain and not have to talk too much.
SW: Either way: are you ready?
RI: Nope. Been busy kicking half-angel ass.
SW: Seriously? Just get on it!
RI: Fine
RI: ...
RI: There. Am ready now.
SW: Yes, yes, it’s very cool that you have super speed, but that doesn’t mean you can just not do anything until the last minute!
RI: Oh, I’m sorry, did you say something? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of me doing equivalent work in an infinitesimal fraction of the time.
SW: Jerk.
RI: So you are. Anyway, yeah, I’m ready to play your game now. Just going to keep playing these three other ones until it’s my turn, though.
SW: It’s not a game!
RI: Dude, it’s like I told PA: any sufficiently advanced technology will be co-opted by the gaming industry sooner rather than later.
RI: I am shooting out torrents into space right now on twenty different frequencies.
RI: Don’t see why the aliens wouldn’t do the same.
SW: Whatever. Goodbye.
RI: Hopefully won’t be seeing you!
Sunlit Waters [SW] no longer requires the attention of Ruthlessly Inefficient [RI]
IS: Introduce yourself
==>
Oh, yes. You have been sitting on your introduction speech for so very long, and you are about to let it fly.
You are Fiona Alistair. But you are so much more than that, oh yes! You are the light that will burn away the shadow of ignorance. You are the hope of the world. Your mind is the means through which this world will evolve beyond limits; beyond belief; beyond death itself!
As you can see, you take yourself quite seriously. But you were bio-engineered for a purpose, and it is a purpose you have embraced, willingly and willfully. You believe yourself to be the first uplifted Vocatian. Soon there will be more. So many more entities whose intelligence will make your own look like stupidity, except that you too will be one of them, and together you will shine brighter than all the stars in heavens!
IS: Be contacted by someone you don’t know.
==>
Well, that would be an interesting command, but you can’t really follow it because you don’t have control over other people’s actions, especially not people oh look at that, someone really is calling you!
Limited Awakening [LA] has cordially requested the attention of Incoming Singularity [IS]
LA: LISTEN, THIS IS QUITE AWKWARD
LA: I KN0W WE D0N’T REALLY KN0W EACH 0THER YET
LA: AND IN FACT THIS IS PR0BABLY THE FIRST TIME Y0U’VE HEARD FR0M ME
LA: BUT I PR0MISE Y0U WE WILL GET T0 KN0W EACH 0THER MUCH BETTER IN THE FUTURE
IS: Are you propositioning me?
LA: N0!
LA: H0W D0 Y0U MANAGE T0 PERCEIVE EVERYTHING AS INNUEND0 ANYWAY?
LA: I TH0UGHT Y0UR SPECIES WAS PRETTY SPARCE 0N THAT S0RT 0F THING.
IS: Every part of my brain has been enhanced.
IS: EVERY part.
IS: if you know what I mean.
LA: Y0U MEAN INCLUDING THE PART THAT LIKES T0 MESS WITH PE0PLE?
IS: You have guessed the part I was referring to.
IS: Also, you referred to my species in a way that did not include yourself.
IS: I am intrigued. The rest of this conversation will proceed with no further messing with anyone.
LA: THANK Y0U.
LA: ANYWAY, I KN0W IT S0UNDS WEIRD BUT I NEED Y0U T0 GIVE ME A C0PY 0F THE GAME Y0UR FRIEND SENT Y0U.
IS: Oh, so it is a game!
IS: Well, I owe someone ten credits.
LA: PLEASE, PLEASE STAY F0CUSED.
LA: I HAVE A C0MPELLING LIST OF REAS0NS Y0U CAN TRUST ME.
IS: Eh, don’t worry about it.
IS: I’m sending it right now.
LA: JUST LIKE THAT?
IS: My friend already has every kind of legal protection on anything that could be gained as a product of research into this code.
IS: Not that I suppose that will matter much since you’re apparently an alien.
IS: Who is communicating at FTL frequencies I guess.
IS: You’ll have to tell me about that later, okay?
LA: IT’S KIND 0F C0MPLICATED.
IS: It would be, wouldn’t it?
IS: Anyway, we’ll see if you can figure out whatever it is you want before we get to it first.
IS: How about it, mysterious stranger?
IS: Ready to take on the best programmer in the world and the ultimate experiment in intelligence in a race?
LA: N0, LISTEN.
LA: THIS MUST N0T BEC0ME A C0MPETITI0N.
LA: THAT’S VERY IMP0RTANT.
IS: Oops, too late!
IS: Eat my dust, alien scum!
LA: I. . .
LA: THANKS F0R THE C0DE ANYWAY.
LA: I’LL SEE Y0U IN Y0UR FUTURE.
IS: ‘My’ future, eh?
IS: Oh, this is going to be FUN!
Limited Awakening [LA] no longer requires the attention of Incoming Singularity [IS]
PA: are we done yet?
==>
Hold on, one more member to contact.
Perfectly Awesome [PA] has cordially requested the attention of Questionably Sincere [QS]
PA: Are you ready?
QS: Yes.
PA: Wait, does that mean you really are ready or that you aren’t ready and you somehow think I should have known that all along?
PA: I can never tell because you are terrible at this.
QS: Being one of the Sacred Keepers of sarcasm and irony is a heavy burden, my comrade.
PA: Okay, first of all that is not even a real thing.
PA: It’s not like SG wanting to be a clown which, while sad, is real.
PA: This is more like wanting to become a wizard.
PA: A wizard of sour grapes, I suppose.
PA: Also who says ‘comrade’?
QS: I do.
QS: It’s ironic.
PA: You suck at this.
PA: You really do.
PA: But that doesn’t matter right now.
PA: Just tell me, honestly and unironically: are you ready to go?
QS: Yup.
PA: You realize that if, at a later point, you claim that you were joking or using double irony, I will wring your neck.
QS: Terms accepted.
PA: Seriously, though, you and IS should hang out.
PA: She’s better at this than you are.
QS: I am ironically terrible.
PA: No, you’re just terrible at irony.
PA: That’s not the same thing at all.
PA: One day you’ll understand that.
Perfectly Awesome [PA] no longer requires the attention of Questionably Sincere [QS]
PA: Get this party started.
==>
Perfectly Awesome [PA] has cordially requested the attention of Rational Researcher [RR]
PA: Okay, to correct my earlier statement.
PA: NOW it is time.
RR: Of course it is.
RR: Somehow the rambling and chaotic group you’ve assembled chooses NOW of all times to pull together and not mess things up.
RR: So NOW is when we have to go through with this.
PA: Hey, a deal is a deal.
PA: Or are you saying there was something wrong with the garden-keeping program I set up for you?
RR: No. It’s great.
PA: Then maybe you didn’t like the specialized books you received?
RR: Okay, no need to go on with this. Favors were received. They will now be recognized. We’re doing this.
PA: Hell yes we are!
PA: We are about to be greater than anyone’s ever been!
RR: I suppose that’s true.
PA: Okay, listen:
PA: I realize this upsets you and your sense of safety.
PA: But the reason WE have to be the ones to test this is because WE are the only ones who can deal with things if they do go horribly wrong.
PA: I’ve assembled the best possible team here.
PA: Everyone has a skill that can help us in any conceivable emergency.
PA: And yours is the ability to hold back our enthusiasm and rein it into reasonable levels.
PA: But don’t let your caution turn into fear, okay.
PA: We’re going to do this, and we’re going to be fine.
PA: And if something happens, we can fix it.
PA: I promise.
RR: I. . .
RR: Thanks.
RR: For what it’s worth, if I have to do this at all,
RR: I’m glad you’re the one leading us.
PA: Good. Now press start and here we go!
Perfectly Awesome [PA] no longer requires the attention of Rational Researcher [RR]
RR: Press START
==>
You have the feeling you’re going to regret this, you really do. But PA is right, a deal is a deal.
Oh, goodness, that is the best loading screen you have ever seen!
A/N:
I tried to find the least annoying shade of yellow to read, but that's not saying much. I'm trying to figure out how much of a problem it is.
Last edited by SeptimusMagistos; 02-21-2011 at 04:22 PM.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
i am intrigued. the entire race seems to be made of mary sues, from a human perspective. but from their perspective they all seem normal. i say that because a mary sue is someone BETTER then what is possible for a setting.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by Megafire
Originally Posted by battlerek
Originally Posted by KarneWarrior
Chalk
I kill a turtle
There are many creationism legends on Discworld. some say it has always been. The priests of Om belive that he created the heavens, the planet, everything in seven days. Most think that the Gods created the landscape slowly. Still others think that the universe was created by a fat old man with a silly accent, sitting at home on a strange device, attempting to write a storybook.
These are all hopelessly wrong.
But the creation of the universe doesn'ty matter. What does matter was that the Great Atuin, the mammoth turtle that held four elephants that held Discworld on their backs, was dying. It was dying, not due to old age, not due to some long forgotten evil, not due to the folly of man nor dwarf. No, the Great Atuin was dying because the Great Atuin was swimming through his Mother-in-law's territory, and she was quite litterally talking him to death.
"I don't know WHY you won't get a job, it can't be that hard you're a space-faring turtle! If that doesn't at least land you a place at the local fast food place I don't know what will. And what's that on your back-"
"Oh my lord will you please SHUT UP?"
"- And is that a planet on there? That's horrible you need to let those poor people down and let them have a normal life with a normal, round planet I mean look at it it's squashed flat. Those poor dears, and those poor elephants too they can't possibly be holding up well with that lump of rock on their backs, tell me you give them health insurance-"
And though it seemed like this was always going to happen, it was meant to happen, and if you thought that it would even be true, the real reason was a game. A game played by the worst wizard ever to set foot on Discworld, a strange Tourist, a young Witch, and one captain of the Guard.
And it would be great fun.
Yeah so who didn't see this coming?
Carrot, Rincewind, Twoflower and Tiffany Aching. Playing Sburb.
This is the best thing to happen ever in the history of everything.
Absolutely agreed.
I was thinking it would be Rincewind, Twoflower, Tiffany Aching, and SAM VIMES, THE ONLY DETECTIVE GREATER THEN BATMAN.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Indystuck
Chapter 29
THE CHAPTER THAT TIME FORGOT
OPEN PESTERLOG
newGuy began pestering neckwearAficionado
NG: TIIIIIIIIIM
NG: BAD HAPPENINGS
NG: WHERE YOU AT
NA: I'm right here, The Kid.
NA: You don't have to yell.
NA: What is it?
NG: the ghosts man the ghosts
NG: they said
NG: they said i was gonna die
NA: Oh, the ghosts.
NA: I've told you before, you have nothing to worry about from them.
NA: I've seen the future, The Kid.
NA: You're fine.
NG: um
NG: okay but
NG: theyve never been wrong before
NA: Who are you going to trust more, ghosts or a good friend you've known for years?
NA: I know what I'm talking about.
NG: well
NG: ok
NG: if you say so
NA: I know so.
newGuy ceased pestering neckwearAficionado
OPEN PESTERLOG
nanoMechanic began pestering neckwearAficionado
NM: you lied to him
NM: he's on your own team
NM: and you lied to him
NA: I did nothing of the sort.
NA: Every word I said to him was the truth.
NM: you told him he wasn't going to die
NA: I said he would be fine.
NA: Which he will be.
NA: I also insinuated that he shouldn't rely on his ghosts.
NA: Which he should not.
NM: that is neither here nor there
NM: you deliberately mislead those who trust you
NM: do you not care about them
NM: at all
NA: I'll have you know, Iji, you can't bully me into a debate on morality.
NM: ...
NA: That's right. I know your name.
NA: You can't fool me into an arguement because I already know I'm right.
NA: It's this dearth of information that I have to work around every time I rewind.
NA: On your part and my teammates'.
NM: so that's it
NM: there's no give with you
NM: you're convinced you must doom us and yourself
NA: I would love to eviscerate your worldview, Iji.
NA: But I don't know if I will have to rewind again and I really don't want to waste my time.
NA: I'm going to beat my denizen into paste now.
NA: Be a dear and at least try not to bother me.
neckwearAficionado blocked nanoMechanic
OPEN PESTERLOG
VP: You shot it into a planet.
VV: Yep!
VV: We didn't have any cutting of burning tools, so we just went with the easiest available solution.
VV: Hopefully, it'll burn up in the atmosphere before we collide. VP: We can only hope.
VP: I'm still having quite a time disintegrating this cube.
VV: Yeah, well...
VV: Whoa, did you see that? VP: See what?
VV: That flash!
VV: It was bright white and all weird.
VV: Sort of like the teleporter... VP: I'm not sure what that entails.
VV: Um.
VV: Ummmm. VP: Umm what.
VV: This isn't high planetary orbit.
VV: Where am I? VP: I could make a wild guess.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by Author
Originally Posted by Megafire
Originally Posted by battlerek
Originally Posted by KarneWarrior
Chalk
I kill a turtle
There are many creationism legends on Discworld. some say it has always been. The priests of Om belive that he created the heavens, the planet, everything in seven days. Most think that the Gods created the landscape slowly. Still others think that the universe was created by a fat old man with a silly accent, sitting at home on a strange device, attempting to write a storybook.
These are all hopelessly wrong.
But the creation of the universe doesn'ty matter. What does matter was that the Great Atuin, the mammoth turtle that held four elephants that held Discworld on their backs, was dying. It was dying, not due to old age, not due to some long forgotten evil, not due to the folly of man nor dwarf. No, the Great Atuin was dying because the Great Atuin was swimming through his Mother-in-law's territory, and she was quite litterally talking him to death.
"I don't know WHY you won't get a job, it can't be that hard you're a space-faring turtle! If that doesn't at least land you a place at the local fast food place I don't know what will. And what's that on your back-"
"Oh my lord will you please SHUT UP?"
"- And is that a planet on there? That's horrible you need to let those poor people down and let them have a normal life with a normal, round planet I mean look at it it's squashed flat. Those poor dears, and those poor elephants too they can't possibly be holding up well with that lump of rock on their backs, tell me you give them health insurance-"
And though it seemed like this was always going to happen, it was meant to happen, and if you thought that it would even be true, the real reason was a game. A game played by the worst wizard ever to set foot on Discworld, a strange Tourist, a young Witch, and one captain of the Guard.
And it would be great fun.
Yeah so who didn't see this coming?
Carrot, Rincewind, Twoflower and Tiffany Aching. Playing Sburb.
This is the best thing to happen ever in the history of everything.
Absolutely agreed.
I was thinking it would be Rincewind, Twoflower, Tiffany Aching, and SAM VIMES, THE ONLY DETECTIVE GREATER THEN BATMAN.
This implies that Batman is anywhere NEAR Vimes's level.
Also YEEEEEEEEEEEES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING THIS
Originally Posted by HarMegidon
I just am asking why she is selling sausages at a funeral.
Originally Posted by inexpediency
Everyone is a hedgehog...on the inside.
Originally Posted by Tesseract
On a deadness scale of normal to doorknob I would rate her as double doorknob
Originally Posted by Jitka
fuck yeah sodium hexametaphosphate
that is my favorite hexametaphosphate
Malakin:because its actually the truman show just with ponys
crash826:that
crash826:makes
crash826:far too much sense
gingerale:xD
Malakin:think about it
Malakin:it all makes sense
Originally Posted by Catbread
Those sound like some pretty badass park rangers.
Originally Posted by ranasan
Wow... it's like if someone managed to manifest Missingno. from Pokemon Red and Blue into the real world, grind it up into a fine powder and then snort it.
18:21 Girard so I learned something at the barber:
18:22 Daniel ?
18:22 Girard The entirety of England, London in particular, is actually a stage for the biggest production of the musical Oliver ever made.
18:22 Girard England is a giant musical.
18:22 Girard This explains the small children with cockney accents and giant hats who dance in the streets.
18:23 Daniel ...DAMN YOU MARY POPPINS!
18:23 Daniel DAMN YOU TO HELL!
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
I think I forgot to mention before that Discstuck is the best idea ever. Hell. Yes. (Needs more characters though! All of the characters, all of them. Also...Grannysprite. Don't try to tell me that wouldn't be the best thing ever.)
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by ceruleanTresses
I think I forgot to mention before that Discstuck is the best idea ever. Hell. Yes. (Needs more characters though! All of the characters, all of them. Also...Grannysprite. Don't try to tell me that wouldn't be the best thing ever.)
If I did I would be lying.
Originally Posted by HarMegidon
I just am asking why she is selling sausages at a funeral.
Originally Posted by inexpediency
Everyone is a hedgehog...on the inside.
Originally Posted by Tesseract
On a deadness scale of normal to doorknob I would rate her as double doorknob
Originally Posted by Jitka
fuck yeah sodium hexametaphosphate
that is my favorite hexametaphosphate
Malakin:because its actually the truman show just with ponys
crash826:that
crash826:makes
crash826:far too much sense
gingerale:xD
Malakin:think about it
Malakin:it all makes sense
Originally Posted by Catbread
Those sound like some pretty badass park rangers.
Originally Posted by ranasan
Wow... it's like if someone managed to manifest Missingno. from Pokemon Red and Blue into the real world, grind it up into a fine powder and then snort it.
18:21 Girard so I learned something at the barber:
18:22 Daniel ?
18:22 Girard The entirety of England, London in particular, is actually a stage for the biggest production of the musical Oliver ever made.
18:22 Girard England is a giant musical.
18:22 Girard This explains the small children with cockney accents and giant hats who dance in the streets.
18:23 Daniel ...DAMN YOU MARY POPPINS!
18:23 Daniel DAMN YOU TO HELL!
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by crash826
Originally Posted by ceruleanTresses
I think I forgot to mention before that Discstuck is the best idea ever. Hell. Yes. (Needs more characters though! All of the characters, all of them. Also...Grannysprite. Don't try to tell me that wouldn't be the best thing ever.)
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by Author
Originally Posted by crash826
Originally Posted by ceruleanTresses
I think I forgot to mention before that Discstuck is the best idea ever. Hell. Yes. (Needs more characters though! All of the characters, all of them. Also...Grannysprite. Don't try to tell me that wouldn't be the best thing ever.)
If I did I would be lying.
Please.
Death!Sprite you guys. Death!Sprite.
...holy christ
I think I just peed myself with awesome
Originally Posted by HarMegidon
I just am asking why she is selling sausages at a funeral.
Originally Posted by inexpediency
Everyone is a hedgehog...on the inside.
Originally Posted by Tesseract
On a deadness scale of normal to doorknob I would rate her as double doorknob
Originally Posted by Jitka
fuck yeah sodium hexametaphosphate
that is my favorite hexametaphosphate
Malakin:because its actually the truman show just with ponys
crash826:that
crash826:makes
crash826:far too much sense
gingerale:xD
Malakin:think about it
Malakin:it all makes sense
Originally Posted by Catbread
Those sound like some pretty badass park rangers.
Originally Posted by ranasan
Wow... it's like if someone managed to manifest Missingno. from Pokemon Red and Blue into the real world, grind it up into a fine powder and then snort it.
18:21 Girard so I learned something at the barber:
18:22 Daniel ?
18:22 Girard The entirety of England, London in particular, is actually a stage for the biggest production of the musical Oliver ever made.
18:22 Girard England is a giant musical.
18:22 Girard This explains the small children with cockney accents and giant hats who dance in the streets.
18:23 Daniel ...DAMN YOU MARY POPPINS!
18:23 Daniel DAMN YOU TO HELL!
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Welp time for Past Aradia shenanigans.
Oh Dear
you are now ARADIA MEGIDO. You have a VARIETY OF INTERESTS. You enjoy ARCHAEOLOGY and SOCK PUPPETS, as well as ADVENTURING. Oh look! One of your amazing friends is pestering you!
Open Pesterlog
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] at 15:22 --
CG: OKAY WHAT THE FUCK ARADIA.
CG: I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.
AA: oh hello karkat! :)
AA: why are you so mad at me today?
AA: (i suspect it is because of your secret love for me.)
CG: WHAT NO.
CG: GOD I THINK YOU JUST BROKE MY THINKPAN WITH YOUR INCREDIBLE FUCKING IDEA.
CG: I'M MAD BECAUSE YOU TOOK ME TO FUCKING TROLLCLIPSE.
CG: WHY WOULD YOU EVER THINK I WOULD ENJOY IT?
AA: well karkat you need to get out more often!
AA: (kanaya agreed with me and complied.)
AA: but you enjoyed it didnt you? :)
CG: ...YES.
AA: hehehe
CG: FUCK YOU AND ALL YOU BELIEVE IN YOU BULGEFUCKING NOOKSUCKER.
AA: oh come on karkat! you loved that movie!
AA: (and you were so afraid for edward!)
CG: GOD DAMMIT ARADIA STOP.
CG: I KNOW YOU SAVE ALL THE LOGS YOU HAVE TO QUOTE PEOPLE WITH THEM.
CG: AND IF YOU KEEP IT FUCKING UP, I SWEAR I WILL NEVER SPEAK WITH YOU AGAIN.
AA: but karkat! :(
AA: i know you secretly crave for my company!
AA: (it is because i am the best there is.)
CG: JESUS ARADIA, SOMETIMES I JUST WISH YOU WOULD STOP BEING SO INSUFFERABLY HAPPY SOMETIMES.
CG: IT GETS FUCKING ANNOYING.
AA: you know karkat you might regret that someday! :|
AA: what if i end up being all monotone and boring? :O
CG: I WOULD SAY THAT IT WOULD BE A NICE DAMN CHANGE OF PACE.
AA: hahaha
AA: but why did you contact me? :?
CG: ...WELL...
CG: I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF I COULD BORROW YOUR TROLLIGHT BOOKS.
CG: BUT I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF YOU TELL ANYONE I WILL SHOVE MY BONE BULGE THROUGH YOUR FUCKING EYE AND STAB YOU TO DEATH.
AA: of course you can borrow them karkat!
AA: (i am totally fine with exposing you to literature!)
AA: i will go get them right now!
AA: <>
-- apocalypseArisen [AA] gave up trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 15:28 --
CG: ...
CG: <>
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] gave up trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] at 15:28 --
Sidething:
>Skip Ahead.
>Be Karkat.
You still can't believe Terezi would do that. Ending a conversation with an emoticon. She knows, you know she knows, that that was her thing. Before she died. Why would Terezi do that?
Heh. Maybe Sollux is right. Maybe Terezi is just fucking with you, pulling you around for her own joke. It would make a hell of a lot more sense. You glance over at your old morail, hell, your ex-morail, and wish to god she was alive.
Life made so much more sense back then.
A/N:
I really love Past!Aradia. She's fun to write, goofy, and enjoys life. She feels a lot more real then most of the other trolls as well.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by crash826
Originally Posted by Author
Originally Posted by crash826
Originally Posted by ceruleanTresses
I think I forgot to mention before that Discstuck is the best idea ever. Hell. Yes. (Needs more characters though! All of the characters, all of them. Also...Grannysprite. Don't try to tell me that wouldn't be the best thing ever.)
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by Author
Welp time for Past Aradia shenanigans.
Oh Dear
you are now ARADIA MEGIDO. You have a VARIETY OF INTERESTS. You enjoy ARCHAEOLOGY and SOCK PUPPETS, as well as ADVENTURING. Oh look! One of your amazing friends is pestering you!
Open Pesterlog
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] at 15:22 --
CG: OKAY WHAT THE FUCK ARADIA.
CG: I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.
AA: oh hello karkat!
AA: why are you so mad at me today?
AA: (i suspect it is because of your secret love for me.)
CG: WHAT NO.
CG: GOD I THINK YOU JUST BROKE MY THINKPAN WITH YOUR INCREDIBLE FUCKING IDEA.
CG: I'M MAD BECAUSE YOU TOOK ME TO FUCKING TROLLCLIPSE.
CG: WHY WOULD YOU EVER THINK I WOULD ENJOY IT?
AA: well karkat you need to get out more often!
AA: (kanaya agreed with me and complied.)
AA: but you enjoyed it didnt you?
CG: ...YES.
AA: hehehe
CG: FUCK YOU AND ALL YOU BELIEVE IN YOU BULGEFUCKING NOOKSUCKER.
AA: oh come on karkat! you loved that movie!
AA: (and you were so afraid for edward!)
CG: GOD DAMMIT ARADIA STOP.
CG: I KNOW YOU SAVE ALL THE LOGS YOU HAVE TO QUOTE PEOPLE WITH THEM.
CG: AND IF YOU KEEP IT FUCKING UP, I SWEAR I WILL NEVER SPEAK WITH YOU AGAIN.
AA: but karkat!
AA: i know you secretly crave for my company!
AA: (it is because i am the best there is.)
CG: JESUS ARADIA, SOMETIMES I JUST WISH YOU WOULD STOP BEING SO INSUFFERABLY HAPPY SOMETIMES.
CG: IT GETS FUCKING ANNOYING.
AA: you know karkat you might regret that someday! :|
AA: what if i end up being all monotone and boring? :O
CG: I WOULD SAY THAT IT WOULD BE A NICE DAMN CHANGE OF PACE.
AA: hahaha
AA: but why did you contact me?
CG: ...WELL...
CG: I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF I COULD BORROW YOUR TROLLIGHT BOOKS.
CG: BUT I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF YOU TELL ANYONE I WILL SHOVE MY BONE BULGE THROUGH YOUR FUCKING EYE AND STAB YOU TO DEATH.
AA: of course you can borrow them karkat!
AA: (i am totally fine with exposing you to literature!)
AA: i will go get them right now!
AA:
-- apocalypseArisen [AA] gave up trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 15:28 --
CG: ...
CG:
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] gave up trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] at 15:28 --
Sidething:
>Skip Ahead.
>Be Karkat.
You still can't believe Terezi would do that. Ending a conversation with an emoticon. She knows, you know she knows, that that was her thing. Before she died. Why would Terezi do that?
Heh. Maybe Sollux is right. Maybe Terezi is just fucking with you, pulling you around for her own joke. It would make a hell of a lot more sense. You glance over at your old morail, hell, your ex-morail, and wish to god she was alive.
Life made so much more sense back then.
A/N:
I really love Past!Aradia. She's fun to write, goofy, and enjoys life. She feels a lot more real then most of the other trolls as well.
nhhhhhh i am shipping Karkat♦Aradia now, as if i wasn't before
also uh maybe i have more red dead aries (if that's what we're calling it now, idk) soon
Last edited by Summergale; 02-21-2011 at 05:41 PM.
On a mudball in the unfashionable arm of the milky way
Posts
109
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
It started as a one-off joke in the Image Manips thread. People liked the idea so much, I couldn't say no.
Zero Punctuation: SBurb BETA
-snipped for size-
I really loved that. You could hear his voice and everything. I could even see the little animations, with those demon things and whatnot.
I now issue you a challenge:
You must now do a James Rolf, AKA The Angry Video Game Nerd of Cinemassacre fame review of SBurb, in his AVGN persona. You'll have to link to it from off site though, as a good capture of his style would probably run afoul of the crudity rules, even with the relaxed version for fanfics.
Last edited by Jeep-Eep; 02-21-2011 at 05:42 PM.
No gods! No kings!
Freedom Though Technology!
There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.
PHP Code:
"AS A FICTION WRITER, she's absurd. But if you're young and not particularly wanted and not particularly brilliant, reading Atlas Shrugged provides all the feelings of compensation one might need for any period of terrifying inadequacy."
I am not a libertarian. Nor am I an objectivist. Just to make that matter clear.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by KarneWarrior
Originally Posted by crash826
Originally Posted by Author
Originally Posted by crash826
Originally Posted by ceruleanTresses
I think I forgot to mention before that Discstuck is the best idea ever. Hell. Yes. (Needs more characters though! All of the characters, all of them. Also...Grannysprite. Don't try to tell me that wouldn't be the best thing ever.)
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by Jeep-Eep
It started as a one-off joke in the Image Manips thread. People liked the idea so much, I couldn't say no.
Zero Punctuation: SBurb BETA
-snipped for size-
I really loved that. You could hear his voice and everything. I could even see the little animations, with those demon things and whatnot.
I now issue you a challenge:
You must now do a James Rolf, AKA The Angry Video Game Nerd of Cinemassacre fame review of SBurb, in his AVGN persona. You'll have to link to it from off site though, as a good capture of his style would probably run afoul of the crudity rules, even with the relaxed version for fanfics.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
I don't know how much it would help garner attention, but I would at least recommend it on the basis that this thread is becoming too fast to be practical as far as I can tell. Almost any fic posted here gets a very short window of opportunity to be read before it gets drowned out in the tide of more fics, and it's virtually impossible now to read everything.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
I still read everything. Of course, commenting on everything would be near impossible, but I still read everything. If you feel like moving it to its own thread, go ahead, Karne! I don't think I've commented on your fics, but they're one of the few OC fics I've actually read. Maybe I should start doing that more often...
Originally Posted by Graven_Image
C20710
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< *ac feels a telltale vibration in her web!*
