Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by Megafire
Red vs. Blue The SBURB Chronicles
-- knowledgableAndroid [KA] began pestering defaultHandle [DH] –
KA: Grif!
KA: I know you’re there Grif.
KA: I can see you on my screen.
KA: Remember?
KA: Answer me!
DH: hey simmons
DH: sup
KA: You know what’s up!
KA: And stop using chat speak.
KA: It’s stupid.
DH: yes mom
DH: i have no idea what youre talking about
KA: Yes, you do!
DH: enlighten me
KA: Why are you Sarge’s Server Player?
KA: I was going to be Sarge’s Server Player!
DH: right
DH: and have him be mine
DH: not gonna happen
KA: Why would you take this from me?
KA: I’ve lived my whole life for this moment!
KA: And you took it from me!
DH: that is so so sad
KA: Shut up.
DH: so sad simmons
KA: Shut the fuck up, Grif.
KA: Please tell me you’re at least doing your Server Player duties.
DH: yeah
DH: i dropped all that stuff just like that blue guy said
DH: that means my jobs done
DH: easiest job ever by the way
KA: No, it’s not.
KA: You’re supposed to build his house up.
DH: haha
DH: very funny simmons
DH: you got me
KA: I’m serious!
KA: Hasn’t Sarge told you anything?
DH: no
KA: Why not?
DH: cause i blocked him
DH: durr
KA: Whaaaaaaat!?
DH: this chat thing is great
DH: coolest thing ever
KA: How did you even figure out how to do that without even knowing how to change your Chumhandle?
DH: i changed my color
DH: hey you whats really awesome
DH: i can drop a toilet on him and theres nothing he can do about it
KA: I can do that with you too.
KA: Just thought I’d mention that.
DH: ha
DH: you wouldnt dare
KA: Watch me.
DH: kissass
KA: Cockbite.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by Author
Aftermath - III
Aradia saw Vriska's rage, and it was actually... frightening. She knew Vriska was the strongest member of their old group of friends, and even now Vriska would probably be able to follow through with that. There was nothing Vriska- no, the Marquise could say to her, and nothing she could say to make quell the Marquise's rage. She flinched as the Marquise slammed her against the wall, screaming in rage,
"Why the hell would you come here? You wanna fucking mock me? Didja come to shove your victory in my face? Why do you think I even give a shit?!?! I don't care about you, him, or anybody any fucking more! I haven't since you stole him!" Aradia looks back at the Marquise, and lightly touches her cheek.
"Vriska... You're not angry at me. You're angry at him. For not choosing you. And I'm okay with that. I'm... I'm okay with a lot of things right now."
The Marquise grabbed her hand, slamming it back against the wall. She flicks up her glasses, and Aradia looked away. She wore sunglasses now, and she had a damn good reason for it. Her Vision Eightfold had grown to a massive degree. Mere eye contact would put you under her control.
The Marquise grinned as she whispered in Aradia's ear, "You really think so? You think I wouldn't just kill you right fucking now? Just to spite him? I would Megido, and you're lucky I just don't care. Because you and I both know why you're here, I just have to rip it from your head."
Aradia gasped as she felt the Marquise's mind begin to seep into her own, and she fought. Oh, how she fought. But it didn't matter. The Marquise - Vriska Mindfang - always got what she wanted. No matter what. Aradia shrieked as she felt the Marquise tear away moments, private moments, moments she held dear, and then dropped to the ground as the Marquise finished, stepping away with a curled lip.
"Can't believe it. You didn't take him away to spite me. You actually care for him. What a fucking waste Megido. As if he even knows you exist anymore. They're all too busy to help out their old friends."
Aradia shook her head. No, that wasn't true. She knew, she always had known, that their old friends would always care for them. They'd been through so much together, they couldn't just let those moments go...
Right?
The Marquise snickered at Aradia's adamant refusal.
"Megido, you don't get it. You know why the Hemospectrum wasn't banished don't you? You know why you started your fucking revolution, right?" Aradia blushed. She hadn't known, actually. None of them had. But they were all pissed, really, really, pissed at how the Empress had gone back on her word.
The Marquise let out a roar of laughter.
"Ha...Hahahaha....HAHAHAHAHA! You're kidding Megido! Of course Feferi had a reason! You and your friends, such a fucking waste. You even got Equius on your side. And he knew why the Hemospectrum wasn't abolished!" Aradia gaped at the Marquise's outburst. Equius couldn't have known. He would have told them right? He was their friend. And by the time the Empress took her throne, Equius had changed. He put friendship before blood. He was... better then most of his blood color. The Marquise continued to talk, and Aradia shuddered at the words that came out of that silver tongue.
"Civil fucking war Megido. Most of the trolls were fine with the Hemospectrum. Had no idea about all your bullshit. Besides, by then we knew the real reason Vantas was a mutant. You remember that... right?" Aradia shuddered. Of course she remembered. It wasn't his blood that made Karkat a mutant. It was his ancestor. Kavarian Darkmoon, who also had candy red blood. Kavarian hated the hemospectrum, so he abolished himself. He slit the Empress' throat in front of the entire royal court, and declared himself High King. The Grand Highblood responded in kind, casually cutting off Kavarian's head from across the room. But Aradia didn't like to think about that, and she replied,
"Of course I remember that Vriska. But is that any reason to declare war? And take no prisoners?" The Marquise grinned.
"Megido, you and your stupid cadre of fuck-ups left right before Feferi underwent her Ceremony. You all had better shit to do. The Ceremony changes a troll, makes them become the Empress. You saw the Coronation, where she put on the crown, right? That crown has a secret Megido. And that secret is what gives the Empress ultimate power." Aradia stared at the Marquise. There was no way she could be serious. But... then why was she loathe to think of the Empress as... Feferi? Of the Marquise as... Vriska? The Marquise cackled.
"Of course Megido. That crown holds knowledge. All of the past Empress', Emperors' knowledge is passed on through that crown. Feferi knows what would happen if we don't destroy your precious lover's planet. They'll think we're weak. And while those that your stupid Decadent Nitwits call 'saviors' are alright, the rest would jump on us in an instant, then argue over the remaining pieces. So come on Megido... You're here for a reason. Look at Tavros. He changed so much since you last saw him." A gleam came into the Marquise's eye.
"I'm quite proud of that, as a matter of fact." Aradia gasped.
"No... You... you didn't... you couldn't have..."
The Marquise grinned widely. "I did Megido. I broke him. And..."
She stared Aradia right in the eye.
"I sure as hell can break you."
Elsewhere...
A man in a suit flips quickly through papers. He's... quite good-looking, as a matter of fact. His messy black hair frames his face, with a pair of fine glasses resting on his nose. The sleeves of his white shirt are rolled back, and he's constantly glancing towards the door. Another man saunters in, as if he's got all the time in the world. He doesn't have time to deal with the first one's bullshit, but he'll sure as hell waste the first one's time. The second man sits down in a chair, and leans back in before smirking at the other one.
"So Egbert, glad you became Supreme Commander of Earth?" John glares at his old friend.
"Screw you Dave, you knew it was a pain in the ass to do this. All the paperwork, the stupid phone calls, and the god damned aliens, if I knew that SBurb was an entry-point to Star Trek, I would never've played that game with you." Dave just grinned as he pulled out a cigarette.
"Bullshit Egbert. You totally would have back then. You'd have been all like 'ALIENS?!?!? Count me in!'" Dave took a long drag off the cigarette before letting the smoke go. John smiled. "Yeah, you're right. But still, do you know how many complaints I get? I swear, some people whine about everything! Listen to this one... 'Dear Mr. President, I am upset about my neighbor, Xvadica, because he keeps trying to eat me alive! I know he is because everytime he goes out to by himself a cup of Flargen, he glares at me! Please help!' It's just ridiculous Dave." Dave nodded sagely as he looks around John's office.
"You've got it easy compared to Rose and Jade though, Egbert. Nobody knows why the fuck they decided to start a "Old Books and Cuddly Kooks" business. Together." John grinned at his friend. "You know... we need to all get back together sometime. Maybe fly to Alternia."
Dave was instantly grinning hugely at John, watching the commander began to blush.
"Shut up Dave, it's nothing like that."
"But John, I didn't say aaaanything."
"Stop smiling at me like that! It's creepy!"
"Awww. Will your crazy girlfriend kill me or something?"
"We're not dating!"
"Tabloids beg to differ."
"You mean the ones that say you're dating four women at once?"
"Damn straight. They can't be wrong Egbert."
The two men argued back and forth until they heard a polite cough nearby. As they looked up, they see a troll standing in front of them. Her hair was about neck length, and one eyebrow is raised loftily above her amber eyes. A slight smile emerges on her face as she watches the two attempt to come up with an excuse.
"Oh Kanaya! Yeah... um... We were totally planning on telling you about this trip!"
"Yeah, Egbert and I would never leave without you! You're our backup!"
"And um... Dave really wanted to see... er... Equius! Yeah!"
Dave stopped, and glared at John.
"Fuck you Egbert, he still creeps me out." Kanaya coughed politely.
"I am sorry to interrupt your superfluous, irrational, argument, but both Rose and Jade are here. Perhaps we could all discuss this trip together...?"
The two nodded vigorously as Jade and Rose walked in. Rose near instantaneously was next to the three, asking, "What's this I hear about a trip to Alternia? John, are you ignoring your paperwork again?" John attempted to stammer out an excuse while Jade giggled. "Of course he is Rose! Why would anybody ever want to do all that boring work?"
Rose pursed her lips.
"John, Alternia is preparing for war. We're not sure against who yet, but it does not appear to be a good outlook for a visit." Dave and John exchanged glances. It was time. They had to do it now. They had to use their ultimate best bro technique.
Best Bro Operandi Lv. 47: Epic Bullshit.
Dave began.
"But Rose, that means it's the fuckin' best time to go! John can use his diplomatic shit to help stop the war!" John went next, saying,
"And without my help, Alternia can't go to war! They're still recovering from all the damage!"
Rose sighed. Clearly this was going to take a while to calm down.
Back on Alternia...
The Marquise stood in front of the Empress, Aradia at her side. The Empress was walking around Aradia, looking up and down. She turned to the Marquise, asking her a question,
"Did it work? Is she ours?" The Marquise glared at her. How dare she? Why would she ever consider doubting her, the greatest of all mindbreakers?
"Of course. She's ours in mind, body, and soul Feferi. But enough about that. How are preparations for the war?" The Empress sighed profusely.
"We've hit a setback."
"What?"
"Well... They want to come and visit."
The Marquise stopped dead for a second.
"...Shit."
A/N:
Man that was the most fun to write yet. I loved Dave and John's interaction the best. It made me feel all amused inside.
Guess which part was the hardest to write?
No, not Vriska and Aradia.
Nope, not the ending.
Not the Elsewhere bit.
That prize goes to "Deciding whether John or Dave should be the Supreme Commander of Earth."
Alright, that makes sense! I often wondered what would happen if for some reason Feferi was forced into the evil Empress position. It will be interesting to find out! Keep up the good work!
If romart people want to draw me, my character is here! Done by TimeChaser, thanks a ton!
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Cave Stuck
Part 4 of ?
Open Memo:
-- fearlessLeader [FR] opened memo on board -EMERGENCY MEETING EVERYONE!- --
-- fearlessLeader [FR] sent out URGENT INVITATION to ALL --
FL: Everyone, 1n here, Now!
-- playfulFlower [PF] responded to MEMO --
PF: King? Is that you?
FL: Toroko?
PF: We thought you were dead!
FL: ...
FL: That doesn't matter.*
FL: You and the others need to play th1s game.
FL: Otherw1se you'll all d1e.
-- sunsetStar [SS] began responding to MEMO --
SS: Uh, i thought we were done with this.
SS: I just want to relax for once!
FL: Sue, th1s does not concern you.
SS: Yes it does!
SS: I don't want to die either!
PF: King, let her join.
PF: The doctors gone! Now, there's no reason not to accept sue!
FL: ...
FL: F1ne.
FL: Let's get th1s go1ng.
FL: No t1me to waste.
-- fealessLeader [FL] ceased responding to memo --
PF: ....bye.
-- playfulFlower [PF] ceased responding to memo --
-- sunsetStar [SS] ceased responding to memo --
-- graveyardGuard [GG] began responding to memo --
GG: Um, am i late?
GG: I wanna play too!
GG: ...
-- graveyardGuard [GG] ceased responding to memo --*
-- fearlessLeader [FL] *closed memo --
Authors Notes:
You didn't think i was just going to let them die did you?
So this means two sessions to deal with. Or maybe they can be linked?
Also, Spoiler.
King is dead. Now, you may have already known this, but he is a ghost, like aradia, and will self prototype, like aradia. The only difference is he wont get a robot. Maybe he could inhabit his own body through the sprite like aradia did aradia-bot?
Also, aradia uses the number 0 in her text. He uses the number 1.
So, constructive critisism is appreciated. Commenting is good to.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Pokestuck
Open Pesterlog
goldenHero [GH] began pestering crimsonCatcher [CC]
GH: hey!
GH: red!
CC: ...
GH: you downloaded that game yet?!
CC: Yes
GH: oh man this is gonna be awesome!
GH: best game ever B]
GH: k im gonna open the memo now
CC: ...
crimsonCatcher [CC] ceased pestering goldenHero [GH]
Open Memo
goldenHero [GH] opened memo in the board Gotta Play 'Em All
---------------
GH: awright confirm here if youre all set to go!
crimsonCatcher [CC] responded to memo.
CC: Yes
azureChampion [AC] responded to memo.
AC: Of course Im ready!
viridianForest [VF] responded to memo.
VF: i wouldn't miss this for the world! ^_^
crystalStar [CS] responded to memo.
CS: If I didn't play this game, you would never stop bugging me, Gold
GH: :P
quickSilver [QS] responded to memo.
QS: why am i doin this again
rubyHeart [RH] responded to memo.
RH: yeah, i just finished my last battle for the day and i'm all set
gloriousSapphire [GS] responded to memo.
GS: :D
harmonicEmerald [HE] responded to memo.
HE: um
HE: i'm ready
HE: i guess
diamondBlade [DB] responded to memo.
DB: I am ready for whatever is to come.
actionPearl [AP] responded to memo.
AP: PFFFFT, Lucas, you sound so boring! We're playing a game lighten up WOOOOOO!
shiningPlatinum [SP] responded to memo.
SP: You two are such doofs i swear
blackestHeart [BH] responded to memo.
BH: yo yo, i'm all set to go!
whiteClouds [WC] responded to memo
WC: YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
GH: ok so everyones here and is ready to play!
GH: lets do it to it!
CC: ...
CS: You did not just say that
QS: ugh
GS: DX
GH: ok shut up people lets play games
GH closed the memo.
God I can't stay mad at Noir.
He's just.
He's like when a tiny puppy murders a squirrel and brings the corpse into your house as a present to you and it's wagging its tail and is SO PROUD of itself.
Then it goes into your house, tears your couch apart, and shits on all of your carpets.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Wait are blood swaps still a thing or am I late?
Because this is still a thing.
Low Bloods Something completely relevant to what's going on in the story right now.
anurousCatamount began trolling crimsonAbject
AC: Eriiidannnn
AC: I um... n33d your help :((
CA: oh lord nep
CA: wwhat happened this time
AC: Well you know I was just doing the daily routine
AC: You know...
CA: yes i knoww
AC: And well...
AC: I got caught!
CA: wwell dirty fuck
CA: it wwas those green bloods wwasnt it
AC: No! Even worse!
AC: It's this bunch of hypocritical yellow bloods >:((
AC: They used their psychic powers and caught me when I wasn't looking
CA: aww fuck theyvve been trouble to me too
CA: look theyre probably just fuckin with ya cause theyvve seen ya hangin around me
CA: so if ya tell me off to them theyll probably just let ya go
AC: But I could nevfur do that XOO
AC: Your my furail!
AC: Whoops I mean morail!
AC: And your self est33m is already low enough as it is :TT
CA: come on my self esteem aint wwhat you should be wworryin about your in serrious fuckin danger here
AC: Ehe well I wouldn't say I was in danger
AC: I am purrfectly capable of getting away from these goons by myself!
AC: I would just f33l better about it if you were here too XX(
CA: oh and im the one wwith loww self esteem
CA: anywways i knoww wwhere those assholes like to hide so i guess ill be there soon
AC: Yay :DD
anurousCatamount ceased trolling crimsonAbject
Aha well, this should make more sense after I properly introduce Eridan and Nepeta, which should be after I finish the Pirate and the Empress.
And on that note, is Betaing even a thing here and how could I get someone to do that for me?
Last edited by Domoz; 02-24-2011 at 09:13 PM.
Reason: WRYYY
God I can't stay mad at Noir.
He's just.
He's like when a tiny puppy murders a squirrel and brings the corpse into your house as a present to you and it's wagging its tail and is SO PROUD of itself.
Then it goes into your house, tears your couch apart, and shits on all of your carpets.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Chalk
I butcher the english language
Whatever the machine was, Tiffany didn't like the look of it. It wasn't any instinctual mistrust of wizards, although she had to admit to herself she wasn't a fan of them, it had more to do with a mistrust of anything that spun spikes really fast.
Again she cursed Rumplestiltskin or whoever that wizard was that created the game, and she thanked her lucky stars (and for a witch stars were truly a source of luck) that he had decided not to play with them. Instead he had gotten his understudy to play for him, as a test subject.
His test subject, Rincewind, had invented a spell (an actual spell! He seemed quite pleased with himself for someone who claimed it as a profession...) to allow instantaneous communication. Of course, wizards being wizards, the spell had a little bit of a problem.
Speak of the demons...
OPEN MAGICLOG
riceWind [RW] began bothering wearingMidnight [WM]
[RW]: h-h-hey
[WM]: O, thine againe.
[WM]: Blast! The magyk is acting up againe!
[RW]: n-n-not my fault
[RW]: S-S-SOMEONE decided that adding the words "p-p-peace and harmony" would make the w-w-world a better place.
twoFlowers [TF] butted in
[TF]: but peace and harmony are everything you'll ever need, bro
[TF]: ooh, you're right, tiff, like, this spell is wiggity wiggity wack!
[WM]: O, that mayeth be the worst glitche we have yet encountered!
[WM]: And belivest I, I speaketh from experience!
[RW]: n-n-not my fault
[WM]: We know, thy bumbling buffoon!
[WM]: Thy hath toldest us several times now.
[WM]: Gods doth strike this blasted spell down with all of thine godly power this is aggrivating.
[RW]: ...
[WM]: Do not.
[RW]: ...
[WM]: Considereth thyself warned, fool!
[RW]: ...
[RW]: n-n-not my fault
[TF]: so not his fault.
howdoiworkThisthing [HT] stumbled upon the conversation
[HT]: HELLO.
[HT]: RINCEWIND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
[HT]: RINCEWIND.
[HT]: WHAT IS THIS GAME YOU SAID I NEEDED TO PLAY?
[HT]: I HAVE TO BE BACK BY SIX.
[RW]: m-m-moo cow?
[HT]: QUITE.
[WM]: Greetings, captaine Vimes.
[HT]: WHAT?
[HT]: WHO ARE YOU?
[WM]: Doeth not you remember me?
[HT]: I'M PRETTY SURE I WOULD REMEMBER SOMEONE WHO CAN'T SPEAK.
[WM]: Thy knoweth what? I giveth up.
[WM]: Fare thee well.
[TF]: See ya later alligator!
[RW]: t-t-that is a really bad glitch.
[TF]: What glitch, bro?
Gods you hate these people.
Characterization: 30%
Prose: 50%
humor: 40%
Having Tiffany Aching call Rincewind a bumbling buffoon: Priceless.
Last edited by KarneWarrior; 02-24-2011 at 09:45 PM.
"Alwaytz hope for the betzt, prepare for the wortzt, pray your foe hatz half your cunning, and atzzume he hatz twitze."
—Troll Sun Tzu, War: Quintetzzence of Trolldom
The stupid-looking hats were found and the debugging process began. Fortunately, it wasn't as bad as past incidents when the Hivehead had been barely visible from beneath the entombing honeycomb. This time, waxy hexagons had only consumed Doomgaze's arms up to the elbows. In theory, he could've left under his own power, but not without devastating the Sepulchural Fluid Rage's computer. To debug without wrecking the ship, the other members of the crew had to coax back the nectar-laden hexes while keeping structural damage to a minimum. It was sensitive, tedious, sticky work, and the bees enjoyed it even less than the trolls, though at least they didn't have to wear stupid hats.
Still, they were making their displeasure known. Redblood didn't know much beenary but, connoisseur that he was of the fine art of coarse language, he was impressed by the breadth and depth of profanity directed at him through the patterned presence and absence of buzzing. As the Exilarch continued to peel back the comb, he said to the captive, "SINCE YOU WERE CLEARLY NOT SPENDING ANY TIME THINKING ABOUT YOUR BODY, CAN I ASSUME YOU'VE GOT SOME MORE TACTICAL DATA ON DUALSCAR?"
Doomgaze, still wearing a mind honey interfacial, gave a grin that was at least one shade too confident for his current situation. "naturally. dual2car hiim2elf ii2 quiite formiidable, e2peciially giiven hii2 weapon of choiice."
Redblood nodded grimly. "THE CROSSHAIRS OF AHAB."
"precii2ely. the very ultiimate in riiflekiind armament2."
"THINK YOU CAN TAKE HIM?"
The shackled CPU served an awkward shrug, forced to push his trunk down with his shoulders to get the desired effect. "iit depend2. iif ii can catch hiim unaware2, then almo2t certaiinly. iin a faiir fiight, iit could go eiither way."
"AND IF HE SURPRISES YOU?"
Winiel grimaced. "ii'd rather not thiink about iit."
The captain gave this a flat, unimpressed gaze. He then turned to the rest of the crew, who was working on the other arm of the processor's chair. "GRAVEEAR, WHAT IS THE MOTTO BY WHICH WE THREE SHOULD LEAD OUR LIVES?"
The pilot's response bore a faint hint of singsong redolent of rote memorization. "always prepare f0r the w0rst."
"DAMN STRAIGHT. NOW TELL ME, DOES NOT THINKING ABOUT IT QUALIFY AS SUCH?"
"viit..." The plaintive tone was far more appropriate for the Hivehead's current situation.
"it w0uld n0t."
"thank2 a lot, hecate."
She looked up from the amassed cells and offered a small look of sympathy. "i have n0 wish t0 see such a situati0n 0ccur, winiel, but it w0uld be far wiser t0 preparre for it than t0 av0id it alt0gether."
Vitrolus nodded his assent. "YOU HEARD THE WOMAN. SUPPOSE DUALSCAR GETS THE JUMP ON YOU. WHAT THEN?"
The seated troll sighed. "two put iit bluntly, you can both kii22 my bulge goodbye. the cro22haiir2 have an energy output per 2hot more commonly a22ociiated with generator2 than weapon2."
"AND THE SAME WOULD APPLY TO US?"
"not iif eiither of you developed an iimuniity two bolt2 of lumiinou2 coherent pla2ma and never told me."
Redblood felt his features settle into a resigned frown as comfortable as his chair wasn't. "FUCKING WONDERFUL. WHAT'S THE BAD NEWS?"
"iin regard2 two dual2car hiim2elf, that ii2 the bad new2. the good new2 ii2 that, ba2ed on the record2 of hii2 exploiit2, he prefer2 two command rather than fiight hiim2elf."
"GREAT. SO WE'VE GOT TO WORK OUR WAY THROUGH HIS FLUNKIES FIRST." As the captain noted this, Graveear finished her arm, rendering the aggregated bees' nest like unto a waxy manacle.
Tugging one arm free of the cementing honey, Doomgaze continued his tactical assessment. "fortunately, he reliie2 mo2tly on mercenariie2 rather than a per2onal guard."
"why?" asked the pilot as she moved to help Redblood.
"that way, it'2 more economiical when he 2lay2 them for iincompetence."
"SO HE RENTS HIS CANNON FODDER FROM THE REJECTS WHO CAN'T GET INTO THE ELITE RANKS." The Exilarch nodded to himself. "GOOD TO KNOW. WHO'S HE HAVE ON PERSONAL RETAINER?"
Doomgaze's expression shifted a step closer to the level of discomfort expected from someone whose job entails being constantly surrounded by bees. "that'2 where we 2liip iinto bad new2 agaiin."
"OF COURSE IT DOES."
"dual2car'2 right-hand troll i2 gezto2 bulgearm. twiice a2 2trong a2 any two mu2clebea2t2 you'd care two name."
"WITH AN INTELLECT TO MATCH?"
"you wii2h. fiive 2weep2 of dii2tiinguii2hed 2erviice iin the ruffiianniihiilator2, culmiinatiing iin the medal for gratuiitou2 viiolence above and beyond the call of duty, awarded by her iimperiial glubne22 her2elf."
Redblood gave a low whistle at this. "WHAT FOR?"
"apparently, garrotiing a terroniian general wiith hii2 own cord."
"DOESN"T SEEM THAT GRATUITOUS."
"after the terroniian 2urrendered."
"OH."
"dual2car hiired hiim a2 a per2onal enforcer after that. 2iince then, he'2 been a fiiercely loyal liieutenant, 2olviing tho2e problem2 that wave after wave of mercenariie2 can't."
"STRONG, EXPERIENCED, AND LOYAL. A TRIPLE THREAT."
"quadruple. he ha2 a partner."
The Exilarch facepalmed, getting a handful of honey on his forehead for his trouble. "I REALLY NEED TO JUST STOP SAYING THINGS. IT ONLY SEEMS TO MAKE THE SITUATION WORSE."
"and y0u w0nder why i never say much," murmured Graveear.
"iin any ca2e, 'partner' miight admiitedly be two 2trong a word. 2tiill, bulgearm never 2eem2 two go anywhere wiithout hii2 predator."
The others took a moment to ponder this. Predators were an example of trollkind's willingness to exploit its own massively mutative nature. Feral throwbacks, predators were used for recreational hunting and experimentation as well as warfare. "ALRIGHT," said Redblood once the idea was digested, "WHO'S THE MUTANT?"
"l00k wh0's talking."
For most, that would be a killing offense. For Hecate, it earned a stifled laugh and a "BRIEFING NOW, BANTER LATER. WELL?"
"pediigree de2iignatiion wildclaw, but 2he apparently answers two 'nyaar'."
"'NYAAR'?" echoed the captain, wrapping his protein chute around the unusually monosyllabic moniker.
The pilot was more concerned with a different detail. "we'll have t0 be very careful," she intoned. "a predatrix is far m0re danger0us than her male c0unterpart."
"OBVIOUSLY," replied Vitrolus as he worked the last of the comb loose. "IT'S A FEMALE TROLL WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE. TO QUOTE THE APOCRYPHAL WRITINGS OF TROLL SUN TZU, 'BITCHES BE CRAZY.'"
"pre2ent company excluded, of cour2e," noted the newly freed Doomeye as he worked feeling back into his wrists.
Redblood shook his head. "'BITCHES BE CRAZY. NO EXCEPTIONS.' SO WROTE THE MASTER."
X ((< *Bored. Not hungry. Not tired. Bored.*
"@== Nyaar!"
: DD< Geztos! *3* Play?
"@== I am not here to play, Nyaar."
8 33< Pl33se? *Geztos! Fun! Not bored!*
"@== This is a serious matter, my friend. A 'cutesy' e%pression will not 100sen our bonds of duty."
: ((< Aww... *Stupid dumb boring Geztos...*
"@== Do not be so distraught, dear Nyaar. Lord D001scar suspe% treachery among the lesser Subjugg100gators, and as such has commanded us to take the fight to our w001d-be assailants.
: ??< ...Hunt? *Silly Geztos full of silly words :PP*
"@== Yes, my friend, we hunt. If Lord D001scar is correct, we hunt for trolls."
>: 33< Troll hunts fun. Pretty colors.
"@== I c001d not have put it better myself."
Terronia and its inhabitants are creations of Sega. (The forumite, not the game company.)
Also, I only recently realized that the main trollcestors are those of Karkat, Aradia, and Sollux. In other words, those for the trolls representing the fourth, first, and third signs of the Zodiac. I swear this was unintentional. Also, @== is supposed to be an extended fist.
Last edited by A Fan; 03-08-2011 at 02:26 PM.
Do you like Magic: the Gathering? Got ideas for MSPA-inspired cards? Post them here!
Sigspoiler of spoilsigging:
Fervent believer in preserving Internet anonymity.
Perhaps the last person on Earth without a Facebook.
Most easily satisfied audience in paradox space.
I am A Fan. And I am silly.
Generic chummeme: Your chumhandle is maverickLinguist, for your typing style is notable only for its absence of notable quirks. You let the assortment of personalities both naturally occuring and artificially manufactured in your own mind supply the requisite air of the bizarre. Your title is Muse of Thought. Your land is that of Dreams and Thunder.
And Tompkins sigquotes:
Originally Posted by Decker
I love the "whoops." It makes me think it happened by accident.
"Okay. My still life bowl of fruit is com-WHERE DID THESE LESBIANS COME FROM?!"
Originally Posted by LegoTechnic
Also keep in mind that the universe is a frog. It's a good thing to remember any time you start to feel you have a grasp on the celestial logic of the universe, be it the size of suns or the location of the furthest ring, because it reiterates that things can still be inexplicably weird.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Cave Stuck
Part 5 of ?
Open Pesterlog:
-- fealessLeader [FL] began pestering redcappedRobot [RR] --
FL: Quote, 1 am go1ng to server you.
FL: That way we may connect our session and yours.
RR: woah. wait.
RR: king? is that you?
FL: Yes. Does the fact 1 am talk1ng to you from beyond the grave fr1ghten you?
RR: uh, no. its fine. im just worried you'll be mad about the sword.
FL: Ah, yes. 1 knew 1 was forgett1ng someth1ng.
FL: When 1 get my body back, 1 will need my blade.
RR: oh no.
RR: um.
RR: yeah, about the sword.
RR: i uh, traded it to a guy the size of an ant for a new gun.
FL: Wa1t, what?
FL: You d1d what?
FL: You mean to say the one thing 1 ever owned, that 1 gave you r1ght as 1 was about to d1e, you gave away?
RR: ...
RR: yes.
FL: ....f1ne then.
FL: Let us get th1s show on the road.
-- fearlessLeader [FL] ceased pestering redcappedRobot [RR] --
Open Spritelog:
MimigaSprite: Mommy!
Curly: Oh my, timothy!
Curly: What on earth did you do?
MimigaSprite: I tried to open the chest!
MimigaSprite: It just looked so enticing with that spazzy blue glow, i thought there would be treasure.
Curly: Timothy. When we figure out how to fix this, you're in so much trouble!
MimigaSprite: *closes*
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by Metaflare
Pokestuck
Open Pesterlog
goldenHero [GH] began pestering crimsonCatcher [CC]
GH: hey!
GH: red!
CC: ...
GH: you downloaded that game yet?!
CC: Yes
GH: oh man this is gonna be awesome!
GH: best game ever B]
GH: k im gonna open the memo now
CC: ...
crimsonCatcher [CC] ceased pestering goldenHero [GH]
Open Memo
goldenHero [GH] opened memo in the board Gotta Play 'Em All
---------------
GH: awright confirm here if youre all set to go!
crimsonCatcher [CC] responded to memo.
CC: Yes
azureChampion [AC] responded to memo.
AC: Of course Im ready!
viridianForest [VF] responded to memo.
VF: i wouldn't miss this for the world! ^_^
crystalStar [CS] responded to memo.
CS: If I didn't play this game, you would never stop bugging me, Gold
GH: :P
quickSilver [QS] responded to memo.
QS: why am i doin this again
rubyHeart [RH] responded to memo.
RH: yeah, i just finished my last battle for the day and i'm all set
gloriousSapphire [GS] responded to memo.
GS: :D
harmonicEmerald [HE] responded to memo.
HE: um
HE: i'm ready
HE: i guess
diamondBlade [DB] responded to memo.
DB: I am ready for whatever is to come.
actionPearl [AP] responded to memo.
AP: PFFFFT, Lucas, you sound so boring! We're playing a game lighten up WOOOOOO!
shiningPlatinum [SP] responded to memo.
SP: You two are such doofs i swear
blackestHeart [BH] responded to memo.
BH: yo yo, i'm all set to go!
whiteClouds [WC] responded to memo
WC: YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
GH: ok so everyones here and is ready to play!
GH: lets do it to it!
CC: ...
CS: You did not just say that
QS: ugh
GS: DX
GH: ok shut up people lets play games
GH closed the memo.
hrk
wheeze
oh god that's so awesome I can't breathe.
Originally Posted by KarneWarrior
Chalk
I butcher the english language
Whatever the machine was, Tiffany didn't like the look of it. It wasn't any instinctual mistrust of wizards, although she had to admit to herself she wasn't a fan of them, it had more to do with a mistrust of anything that spun spikes really fast.
Again she cursed Rumplestiltskin or whoever that wizard was that created the game, and she thanked her lucky stars (and for a witch stars were truly a source of luck) that he had decided not to play with them. Instead he had gotten his understudy to play for him, as a test subject.
His test subject, Rincewind, had invented a spell (an actual spell! He seemed quite pleased with himself for someone who claimed it as a profession...) to allow instantaneous communication. Of course, wizards being wizards, the spell had a little bit of a problem.
Speak of the demons...
OPEN MAGICLOG
riceWind [RW] began bothering wearingMidnight [WM]
[RW]: h-h-hey
[WM]: O, thine againe.
[WM]: Blast! The magyk is acting up againe!
[RW]: n-n-not my fault
[RW]: S-S-SOMEONE decided that adding the words "p-p-peace and harmony" would make the w-w-world a better place.
twoFlowers [TF] butted in
[TF]: but peace and harmony are everything you'll ever need, bro
[TF]: ooh, you're right, tiff, like, this spell is wiggity wiggity wack!
[WM]: O, that mayeth be the worst glitche we have yet encountered!
[WM]: And belivest I, I speaketh from experience!
[RW]: n-n-not my fault
[WM]: We know, thy bumbling buffoon!
[WM]: Thy hath toldest us several times now.
[WM]: Gods doth strike this blasted spell down with all of thine godly power this is aggrivating.
[RW]: ...
[WM]: Do not.
[RW]: ...
[WM]: Considereth thyself warned, fool!
[RW]: ...
[RW]: n-n-not my fault
[TF]: so not his fault.
howdoiworkThisthing [HT] stumbled upon the conversation
[HT]: HELLO.
[HT]: RINCEWIND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
[HT]: RINCEWIND.
[HT]: WHAT IS THIS GAME YOU SAID I NEEDED TO PLAY?
[HT]: I HAVE TO BE BACK BY SIX.
[RW]: m-m-moo cow?
[HT]: QUITE.
[WM]: Greetings, captaine Vimes.
[HT]: WHAT?
[HT]: WHO ARE YOU?
[WM]: Doeth not you remember me?
[HT]: I'M PRETTY SURE I WOULD REMEMBER SOMEONE WHO CAN'T SPEAK.
[WM]: Thy knoweth what? I giveth up.
[WM]: Fare thee well.
[TF]: See ya later alligator!
[RW]: t-t-that is a really bad glitch.
[TF]: What glitch, bro?
Gods you hate these people.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE
WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE TRYING TO KILL ME WITH AWESOME
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
COLORS
Chapter 2
Be the aristocrat
No problem. You are pretty good at being aristocratic, if you say so yourself.
Okay, no, that’s a lie.
Your name is Tavros Nitram, and you are not a very good aristocrat AT ALL! You constantly forget to oppress the low-bloods, most of the proper aristocratic pursuits bore you, and you are not very confident! The only thing you remember to do right is ADMIRE THE WILDLIFE, which is pretty easy for you.
You live in your castle along with your lusus Tinkerbull. Tinkerbull is pretty much the best lusus ever, and your only regret is that you’ve never been able to touch him. Even one brush of your fearsomely STRONG hand would end his fragile little life.
Oh, yes, did we mention that you are STRONG? You are somewhat ambivalent about being so STRONG, to be honest. On the one hand, it really helps you be confident when you need the help, which is all the time. But on the other hand it means you can never touch anything or anybody without being afraid of breaking them.
It’s not a perfect life, but what is?
Seek the Highblood.
Oh, you don't need to actually find her. You can just sort of message her.
apologeticTitan [AT] began trolling GratingAnomaly[GA]
AT: hELLO, kANAYA,
AT: uHHH,
AT: yOUR HIGHNESS,
GA: pLeAsE lEt Us KeEp ThInGs InFoRmAl TaVrOs
GA: kAnAyA wIlL dO
AT: tHANK YOU,
AT: i WANTED TO SAY THAT THE GAME IS READY NOW,
AT: aND I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO CONTACT YOU FOR A WHILE NOW,
GA: mY aPoLoGiEs
GA: i HaD tO cOmPlEtE mY mEdItAtIoN
GA: . . .
GA: bAd ThInGs HaPpEn WhEn My MeDiTaTiOn IsN’t CoMpLeTe
AT: yES, i REMEMBER,
AT: pLEASE TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED,
GA: mY tEmPeR iS uNdEr CoNtRoL fOr ThE mOmEnT tHaNk YoU
GA: iT sHoUlD bE fInE pRoViDeD tHiS gAmE iS nOt PaRtIcUlArLy StReSsFuL
AT: i DO NOT SEE WHY IT WOULD BE,
AT: oH, bUT I DO HAVE SOMETHING EXCITING TO TELL YOU,
GA: oH dEaR
GA: eXcItEmEnT tEnDs To Go HaNd In HaNd WiTh sTrEsS
GA: bUt I wIlL pErSeVeRe
GA: pLeAsE gO oN
AT: tHE EMPEROR WANTS TO PLAY WITH US,
AT: oNLY TEREZI WON’T LET HIM BE THE FIRST TO ENTER,
AT: sHE WANTS SOME OF US TO ENTER FIRST,
AT: tO SEE IF SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS, i THINK,
AT: aND THEN SHE WILL BE HIS SERVER PLAYER,
GA: oH mY
GA: tErEzI iS iNvOlVed
GA: sHe Is VeRy InTiMiDaTiNg
AT: iSN’T SHE, tHOUGH,
AT: iF WE’RE BEING HONEST,
AT: i AM COMPLETELY TERRIFIED OF HER,
GA: tHaT mAy Be A wIsE tHiNg To Be
GA: sInCe YoU sOuGhT mE oUt I aSsUmE yOu WiSh Me To Be YoUr SeRvEr
GA: oR iS iT tHe OtHeR wAy ArOuNd
AT: bOTH ARE OKAY, i THINK,
AT: wHY DON’T YOU BE THE SERVER AND THEN I CAN BE THE FIRST TO ENTER,
AT: aND THEN MAYBE ARADIA CAN BE YOUR SERVER,
AT: iF THAT IS OKAY WITH YOU,
GA: i HaVe HeArD mAnY tAlEs Of ThIs LaDy ArAdIa
GA: sHe HaS bEcOmE dEePlY eNsHrInEd In My PeRsOnAl CaNoN
GA: i HaVe WaNtEd To MeEt HeR fOr QuItE a WhIlE nOw
GA: i CaN tHiNk Of No BeTtEr CiRcUmStAnCeS
AT: yOU TWO WILL LIKE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH, i THINK,
AT: i CANNOT IMAGINE WHY YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY MET,
GA: tHeRe HaVe BeEn CoMpLiCaTiOnS
GA: sOmE mAtTeRs InVoLvInG fRiEnDs
GA: oThErS iNvOlViNg GhOsTs
AT: oH, dEAR,
GA: bUt It’S aLl WaTeR uNdEr ThE bRiDgE nOw I’m SuRe
AT: oH, wELL THAT’S GOOD THEN,
AT: bUT FOR NOW SHALL WE BEGIN,
GA: yEs
GA: jUsT lEt Me EsTaBlIsH tHe CoNnEcTiOn. . .
All right, let’s try being someone else! CriminalCatcher [CC] began trolling admiraclyCreative [AC]
CC: H33h33h33!
AC: Hey There! :33
AC: Why Does The Tireless Purrsuer Of Justice Message This Humble Scientist?
CC: 1 n33d your 4dv1c3, oh w1s3 on3.
CC: Pr3tty pl34s3 won’t you op3n up your bottoml3ss trov3 of s3cr3ts 4nd knowl3dg3 4nd g1v3 m3 4 l1ttl3 of both?
AC: A Scientist Is Always At The Beck And Call Of The Empire In Whatever Capacity It Requires!
AC: It Might Just Be Possible To Take A Few Moments Away From Frying The Undead With The Weapons Being Tested To Adivse You.
CC: 1 4m 1n pur2u1t of 4 v3ry d4ng3rous cr1m1n4l!
CC: On3 who h4s m4d3 4 p3rson4l nu1s4nc3 of h1ms3lf to th3 3mp3ror!
AC: Oh That Is Dangerous!
AC: What Do You Require?
CC: conf1rm 4 hunch for m3?
AC: I Can Do That!
CC: 1 th1nk th4t th1s cr1m1n4l
CC: th1s h4r3n3d cybert3rror1st
CC: th1s r3d blood3d muta4nt w1th 4 b444d 4tt1tud3
CC: 1s work1ng w1th g4mz33 4nd k4rk4t! 3:(
AC: Impossible!
AC: Karkat Is. . .
AC: Was. . .
AC: My Meowrail!
AC: I Know He Was A Little Bit Wild But He Wouldnt Do That!
AC: And Gamzee Is Nice
AC: Although I Will Not Put It Past Sollux To Trick Him!
CC: W3ll, m4yb3!
CC: 1 hop3 you 4r3 r1ght.
CC: But!
CC: Th3 3v1d3nc3 1s pr3tty strong.
AC: Well Are There Any Other Accomplices You Could Look Into?
CC: Th3r3 1s on3
CC: but 1 th1nk you m1ght b3 4 l1ttl3 b1t b14s3d 4g41nst her!
AC: Its Vhiskers Isnt It?
CC: Y3s.
AC: You Bet I Am Biased Against Her!
AC: I Still Cannot Believe You Just Let Her Kill People!
CC: 1t’s not 1ll3g4l!
CC: Sh3 h4s to f33d h3r lusus.
CC: Th0s3 34t3n by 1t 4r3 judg3d to h4ve been of no worth.
CC: W3 c4n’t 4rr3st h3r for th4t 4nymor3 th4n w3 c4n 4rr3st you for your v1ol3nt 4ct1v1ty!
AC: But
AC: I Am Only Violent Against The Horrible Undead!
AC: Its Not The Same Thing At All!
CC: Sorry. 3:(
AC: Hm.
CC: Wh4t?
AC: Do You Know The Game Happening Tonight?
CC: Sur3!
CC: But th4t’s for ar1stocr4cy only.
CC: Noth1ng to do w1th 4 coupl3 of m1d-bloods l1k3 you 4nd me.
AC: She Will Be Playing
AC: Maybe If You Get Her Involved In Something
AC: She Will Reveal Her Nefarious Attachments!
CC: Worth 4 shot 1 suppos3.
CC: Th4nks!
AC: Anything To Clear Karkats Name!
AC: S33 you! :33
CC: H33h33h33! 3:D
Tormented Anarchist [TA] began trolling CreepyGhast [CG]
TA: helloo
TA: want too be in cahoooots?
CG: WHAT THE F-WORD ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
TA: yoou hang aroound vriska as much as yoou can
TA: im assuming yoou knoow there is a game gooing oon
CG: YEAH. SO WHAT?
TA: soo she thinks i will be her server player
TA: she thinks i doont really have a chooice
TA: she shoould knoow im all aboout chooices
CG: OKAY, I THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE AFTER.
CG: BUT KEEP GOING.
CG: THIS IS GOOD.
TA: she will try too kill me
TA: because she is scared oof me
TA: but i proopoose a different arrangement
TA: oone where yoou basically get too jerk her aroound with the games poowers
TA: and the oonly place she can escape too is either a moonster-filled wilderness
TA: oor yoour waiting arms
CG: OH HECK YES.
CG: GENTLY CARESSING USING THE MEN’S ROOM YEAH!
CG: I DON’T EVEN CARE WHAT NEFARIOUS SCHEME YOU ARE COOKING UP.
CG: DO THIS FOR ME AND I WILL FIND A WAY TO REPAY YOU.
CG: RIGHT AFTER I REPAY HER THAT IS!
TA: ookay get ready
TA: soooon we will start
TA: soooon yoour revenge can begin
Already on it. It’s time to get these people into gear. conjurationAbjurer[CA]began trolling AdventurousArchaeologist [AA]
CA: hii there your hiighne22
AA: well n0w y0u are just being silly!
AA: you kn0w y0u d0nt have t0 call me that!
AA: equius has t0ld me the news by way
AA: i think its great that hes letting y0u play with us!
AA: maybe y0u can make him c0me 0ut 0f his shell!
CA: well ii 2ure hope 2o but before we get iintwo the game 2tuff
CA: i have even more exciitiing new2 than that
AA: 000h
AA: sh00t
CA: do you remember the thiing you were lookiing for
CA: the one that could make a gho2t go away
AA: y0u didn’t!
CA: ii diid
CA: ii tracked iit down for you
CA: ii can giive you the coordiinate2 riight now
CA: iit2 defended but that 2hould be no problem for 2omeone of your talent2
CA: only problem ii2 iit2 on the move
CA: 2o iif you are about to nab iit you mu2t do iit quickly
AA: 0000000h n000000000!
AA: i am supp0sed t0 be playing this game!
CA: no one wiill miind iif you skiip out ju2t for a miinute ii thiink
CA: ju2t be back before everyone ii2 iin and iim 2ure whoever ii2 left wiill be happy two get you iin
AA: y0u kn0w what?
AA: i think i will!
AA: thanks a l0t eridan!
AA: y0u d0nt kn0w h0w much it will mean t0 me t0 get this issue res0lved!
CA: oh ii thiink ii miight
AA: heh
CA: what
AA: i was just thinking h0w weird it is that with all the cursed artifacts ive f0und 0ver the years y0u still d0nt believe in magic!
CA: cur2e2 arent magic
CA: theyre ju2t the dii2tiilled concentrate of the univer2es natural peevii2hne22
CA: ii beliieve iin that all riight
AA: bye eridan!
AA: thank y0u again!
Tormented Anarchist [TA] began trolling TotallyChill[TC]
TA: gamzee
TA: answer me
TA: its very impoortant that yoou doo
TC: what is up my brother?
TA: what have yoou been dooing
TC: JUST STARING AT THE STARS.
TC: you ever wonder how stars work?
TA: noo
TA: i already knoow hoow stars woork
TA: everyboody knoows hoow stars woork whoo isnt yoou
TA: wigglers fresh oout oof their tests knoow moore than yoou doo
TC: HEH HEH.
TC: yeah that is true.
TC: BUT WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
TA: absoolutely noothing
TA: i have better things too oocupy my time than fixing yoour ignoorance
TA: besides it is ookay too be ignoorant soometimes
TA: like when yoou have soomeoone very smart telling yoou whats what
TC: someone like you right?
TA: thats right
TA: just listen to yoour friend soollux and yooull be fine
TA: i am noot even being sinister here
TA: i am beginning too think that maybe ive doone the rooyal fuckbag a favoor with this game
TA: oor maybe just screwed everyoone else oover
TA: either way yoou gootta get me intoo the game
TA: like noow
TC: SURE.
TC: sounds decent.
TA: hurry
TC: YOU GOTTA CHILL MAN.
TC: everything is gonna be a okay.
TA: it woont be if yoou doont hurry up already
TC: SURE IT WILL!
TC: you always worry and everything is always fine.
TC: THINGS JUST TEND TO WORK OUT IN THE END.
TA: ii woont be arguing philoosoophy with yoou right noow.
TA: just get me in here.
TC: sure man.
TC: ONE CONNECTION COMING RIGHT UP.
CA: are you ready two play thii2 game
GA: oH nO
GA: nOt YoU
GA: wHaT dId YoU dO
CA: nothiing much
CA: ju2t 2ettled the la2t remaiiniing ii22ue of an old riivalry
CA: 2o that the new one can begiin wiithout iimpediiment2
GA: hOw CoUlD yOu
GA: iN The mIDDLE Of aLL This yOU
GA: oH mY
CA: you can feel iit cant you kan
CA: the hatred flowiing through you
CA: iit ii2 what you are
CA: what every troll ii2 deep down when you striip away all our fiinery and hiierarchiie2
CA: ju2t a ball of hate waiiting two be unlea2hed on a worthy target
CA: and ii am makiing my2elf worthy of your hate
GA: yOU Two fACED Lunatic
GA: dO You hAVE Any iDEA What yOU Are tRYING To uNLEASH
CA: iive heard the horror 2toriie2
CA: and ii 2ay bring iit on
CA: lay all of your hate on me
CA: ii can handle iit
GA: nO
GA: yOU ARe nOT
GA: i MeAn nOt WoRtH iT
GA: nO mAtTeR hOw MuCh YoU dEsErVe To GeT yOuR wIsH
GA: i WoNt Be ThE oNe To EnD yOuR mIsErAbLe WaStE oF a LiFe
CA: hahaha
CA: dont worry about iit kan
CA: we wiill ii thiink have a chance two get two know each other a lot better
CA: becau2e we have two get you iinto the game
GA: nO
GA: i WoUlD rAtHeR bE sTrUcK dOwN bY aN aStErOiD tHaN hAvE yOu Be My SeRvEr
CA: ii2 that true
CA: or are you ju2t 2ayiing iit becau2e you are two angry two thiink 2traiight
CA: deciide carefully now
GA: Fine
GA: cONNECT With mE
GA: But dONT Say i Didnt wARN You
CA: feel that black kan
CA: ju2t really take iit iin
GA: hURRY Up aLREADY
CA: heh
CA: okay
CA: 2ee you 2oon
crownedThroneholder [CT] began trolling galleonCemetery [GC]
CT: --E Terezi! Cancel t)(e game plans
GC: DUTY IS A FINNY THING MY LIEGE
CT: --E T)(is is all too muc)(
CT: --E T)(e players we sent a)(ead as scouts )(ave vanis)(ed into anot)(er dimension
GC: DUTY IS MORE THAN JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS
CT: --E T)(ere are asteroids falling all over
CT: --E Some of w)(ich are e%tremely large and )(ave landed muc)( too close to my former lusus for comfort
GC: AT TIMES A SUBORDINATE WWILL BE FORCED TO DISOBEY A DIRET ORDER FOR THE SAKE A PRESERVING THE SUPERIOR
CT: --E T)(is is not the time for playing games
CT: --E W)(at are you doing
GC: MY DUTY
GC: FOREVER AND ALWAYS
CT: --E O)( no!
CT: --E S)(e’s been )(it!
GC: I WWILL KEEP YOU SAFE
GC: YOU CAN COUNT ON IT
--Censored Version--
I'm really just playing it safe with this retroactive censor, which is so borderline that I'm not sure why I'm doing it. No one minded at the time, but after page 100 hits I won't be able to go back and edit these posts, so I decided it was better to than to not. The uncensored version is at A03, as always.
Rose was snapped out of any daydreams she might have had about the new plan by a shower of rust flakes that coated her and John as one of the construction droids passed overhead. After that it was far too easy to remember that they were up to their eyeballs in grime, and Vriska's yelp from below at getting her own share made it impossible to ignore the height. Forty stories up on a scaffold platform built for three, passing tools into a crawlspace barely built for one from which Kanaya's voice would echo only semi-coherent. One knew better than to ever look down or up, or risk vertigo, and to be careful when looking back to lessen the risk of temporary blindness from the ponderous, overpowered "lightstalks" the Trolls had erected. And everywhere one had to overcome the cutting, sawing, welding, hammering, banging, crashing, shifting, shocking, humming, buzzing, echoing noise that would burst out at unpredictable intervals, sneaking past ear protection and making it impossible to communicate at less than a shouting volume. Oh yes, Operation "Wacky Hijinks" was well underway.
Kanaya said something about a "mffng thnugmmah," and John acknowledged by tossing a Troll measuring device Rose thought had something to do with liquid pressure into the crawlspace. Rose was sometimes surprised at how well she had gotten at listening past the general ambience of the construction site, but sounds coming out of the crawlspace were still impenetrable. Only the two masters of Breath were able to communicate with ease in the din, never-minding their membership in the exclusive club of people not afraid to fall off the maze of scaffolding. The scaffolds and their platforms were the low point of the project, namely because many of them lacked safety rails thanks to a bad captcha code. Use of game powers was at an all-time high, the ball of light in Rose's hand (for lack of nearby lightstalks) being an excellent indication. Rose imagined it had something to do with the open space they were working in, or perhaps the constant, looming fear of an embarrassing death, but John liked to chalk it up to "enthusiasm, Rose! Everybody's rarin' to go again!" For someone who had named this affair the way he had, Rose was still overwhelmed by how seriously he was taking things.
It had all started four days after John had first gotten his idea. The three days in between were days of relative seclusion for him and Karkat; three days of Kanaya, Jade, Equius, Sollux, Aradia and Dave suddenly disappearing at random and reappearing later, only explaining that they had been asked "questions. Detailed questions." Rose, since she was close friends with one of the abductors and three of the abductees, had a better picture at the time, but her privilege ended when the fourth day had rolled along and it had all come out.
"We have," Karkat said after he had everyone's attention, "one hundred and eleven days." Fourteen of them were present for the speech, Dave and Aradia still absent and their absence still, at large, unexplained. "The day after, we rest. You can fucking thank Egbert for that. The very next day," he continued, "we kill the demon."
The uproar made it impossible to continue for some time, though judging from Karkat's face it had come in under expected levels. When they had stopped, he hit them with the details.
In essence, they were going to build the world's largest rat trap and then they themselves would play the role of the snapping bar. To avoid unmasking Dave and Aradia, Karkat had neatly summarized the need to trap Jack "just to be sure, dipshit." The one hundred eleven days were going to be spent constructing and testing a massive battle platform, to be floated out to meet Jack away from the lab just in case there was a chance to retreat. This platform would serve not only to accommodate those of their group that could not fly through use of Dreamselves or powers, but to seal Jack in with them during the fight. While they were sure he could rupture the place given sufficient time and effort, all they had to do was to prevent him the opportunity. Eleven different powers (Gamzee's nonsense excluded), would be folded up into the very steel and rock of the platform to redirect, ground or otherwise weaken Jack's attacks against the platform and its holding field, at least for "long enough." Karkat made it perfectly clear that any other efforts: automatic guns, or attempts to dampen Jack's powers directly, were secondary. Dave privately admitted that this was because they would never work.
To use as a base, Jade and Kanaya were called on to bring in an asteroid to the lab's hangar bay, a sixty storey dry dock of sorts that dug into the earth of the lab's asteroid and had probably once used as a docking station for mid-sized warships. Equius had disassembled enough of his robots to find out which spare parts had once belonged to the large, spherical construction droids, which they alchemized from there. The droids worked with remarkable speed, more or less facilitating the entire hundred-day timeframe from what would probably have taken years. With Sollux reprogramming around the clock like he liked so much, the rest of them were dedicated to constant fine-tuning. Powers were assigned and abstractly misappropriated. The Seer of Mind was set to task on Jacks' ten most likely immediate courses of action for first response. The Rogue of Heart was running hydraulics. More appropriately, the Sylph and Witch of Space were everywhere, performing rapid calculations and making sure the platform would be able to lift its own weight with the help of a few dozen magnified repulser systems from Sburb. Dave and Aradia, when they were around at all, were working on the capture field that would keep Jack inside the platform, physically and temporally. But for many of them, like the mistresses of Light or the Prince of Hope, all there was to do was to work directly under a more appropriately gifted fellow.
"Okay," Kanaya said clearly as she pulled herself out of the crawlspace. She was wearing jeans, some old ratty pair of Jade's, which Rose had still not gotten used to seeing. "I'm going to need a half-dozen rivets. I need you to take this to Sollux, Rose, and… I think I should replace some of the coolant pipes, they were out-of-sorts." Kanaya passed Rose a notepad, the pages covered in math. The way Jade put it, she and Kanaya had not really understood the actual mathematical notation of what they were calculating with their powers at first. That had changed when Sollux had insisted they learn after Jade asked him to re-calibrate an antenna "clockwise and a little to the left," and then "No, not that much left." Besides notes, the pad was absolutely covered in the shattered-glass-patterned fingerprints the Trolls left next to the human's whorls and spirals now that everyone was constantly covered in sludge.
Rose nodded understanding of her orders, and was part-way through working out her route when she saw Kanaya cast her a smile, seemingly just for the sake of smiling, like a personal message of nothing that needed to be said.
"See you around, Rose!" John said as he returned with Kanaya's other requests from a nearby crate, still looking ridiculous in his headband. ("Egbert, it is not the eighties, how many times—" "You see, Dave, that's where you're wrong." "Did you just tell the Knight of Time that he's wrong about your terrible favourite decade being deader than disco?" "Well, the way I see it…") Rose squelched the light ball out of existence on one of the infinite ladder rungs that lined the asteroid, and she dropped below their platform just as Kanaya disappeared into the rock face. From there the route was down, up and across the overwhelming number of paths across the scaffolding to the main dock, the only part of the entire assembly that did not shake every few times you set your weight on it and a far way from where Rose began.
They had been at the construction for just over two weeks now, or so Rose grasped after running into Dave two days prior. It had been the first time she had ever seen him at breakfast, but she was not surprised to find him face down beside his thrice-ironic Lucky Charms in a polka dot bowl and a Mickey Mouse spoon. She had said hello, he had said "Mmrmph." She had said asked how he was, he had said "Nrm… Day forty-six, hour nine." She had asked what, he had said "...Oh, sorry. I thought you said 'Who?'" If that was the case, progress had been good, thanks again to the droids more than anything, but the progress on her teammates was even better. She saw it as she walked and climbed to the dock: people talking, laughing and working harder than she would have ever expected from them. While only Feferi and Tavros dared to be truly optimistic, Rose saw the beauty of John's plan in how it subtly crept into their language. Every time someone said "In a few months, we'll…" or "…seriously, one day…" it worked its way deeper to their core. It was happening: the future, free of the lab, with another chance to live.
Vriska rapped Eridan on the shoulder as Rose passed – provoked, Rose guessed. "Move the hell over!" she said. Eridan did not, but Vriska ignored him this time.
Because she never repeats herself, Rose thought. She had a better grasp on them now, but far from perfect. The past two weeks had been so unlike the days that had set the construction off that Rose sometimes did not believe it. For starters, she could not shake the impression that Vriska and Eridan were trying to ease her into their kismesissitude, even though that seemed too polite for Vriska and too, well, clever for Eridan. So far auspisticing for them had been simple but frustrating. Except for the odd shove, the couple tended away from physical contact, leaving Rose to casually eavesdrop on their back-and-forth acid in the lab and to answer their trolling at odd hours of the day. It was hard to bury her initial Human reaction to their troubles. If two friends were fighting like this, she would have immediately told them to suck it up and apologize. To keep on the caliginous road, Rose had to check herself before every pester or rare in-person interruption. What made it easy was that she could still choose to do nothing, correctly, on a regular basis, as she chose to do at that moment.
"Witch."
"Asshole."
Rose rolled her eyes. This was nothing. Restrained as they had often been, Rose was still prepared for worse, and at least she had her friends, old and new. Between the five of them, Rose was certain she could always find something to distract herself with, though Gamzee did not always tend toward "activities" so much as "observations, repeatedly". And then there was Kanaya. In a manner of speaking, the time Rose spent with Kanaya had not much changed in activity. She still sat on the desk beside her computer as they chatted. She would come over to her room at odd hours on request to give opinion about new outfits or to find herself recommended with new young adult novels, and she would have Kanaya over to her room for a swap of the same. It was more the atmosphere that had changed: little gestures, knowing she'd be asked how she was feeling and not just as a pleasantry, smiles. They didn't touch much more than before. Still, Kanaya tended to dwell more than she had when she adjusted Rose's hair, Rose tended not to set it back like she had previously been wont, and there was usually a hug goodnight, in whatever form Kanaya's sore points allowed that particular day.
"Hey, Rose!" Feferi greeted once Rose had touched down on solid ground. She was near the water bottles and dashed some of the one she had open onto her face, shaking it off vigorously before coming over to chat. "How's it going?"
Rose was starting to get wary of conversations with Feferi, ever since the Troll ex-Princess had decided they should be "auspistice buddies!" She had been awfully keen to look over Rose's technique and while her advice tended to be sound, but Rose just could not help but think that she was looking for something to do. Equius and Aradia were more established and certainly more active when it came to their relationship, but Equius just buckled under Feferi so easily that all Aradia had to do was to walk away with a victorious grin on her metal face. Rose respected that Feferi recognized the lack of balance and had begun to back off, but she just wished she would stop coming to her instead.
"So how are they dooooing?" she asked, straight to the usual. It was much easier to talk at a normal volume there on the dock, though the plasma-light of Aradia's nearby arc welding cast odd shadows down the hall in front of them.
"Vriska and Eridan?" Rose asked just out of politeness. "Oh I don't know. They're not letting their arguments get in the way of construction, I think that's all we can ask."
"All anyone but you can ask!" Feferi said. She handed Rose a fresh water bottle, which she accepted before taking two more for her platform-mates. "I mean, all up there, far away from anyone, unaperchable!" Feferi batted her eyelashes. "Why, two young Trolls might just get DANG-EROUS ID---EAS!!"
Rose was not really sure whether she was referring to caliginous romantic activity or caliginous dangling-your-partner-off-the-edge-of-the-causeway activities. She supposed Vriska and Eridan weren't quite at the latter's level of extreme commitment yet, but teens will be teens. "They're not exactly 'unaperchable' right now…" she said. Reaching her destination, she called out: "Sollux!" and tossed her notepad into Sollux's cubicle-fort of various boxes. He snapped it up without a second word, she barely seeing any more than the tip of his fingers.
"They're not?" Feferi asked. "But how could they… urgh, Tavros!"
Of course. Rose was not sure why she had even had to say. Tavros did spend time with Gamzee those days, but it was clear he was more-or-less scared of Terezi and so could most often be seen with either his matesprit or Vriska. Technically it was his job to help communicate from one side of the rig to the other with the help of John and the Wind, but without direct orders, Rose had last seen him up on Vriska and Eridan's platform, exactly where one would have expected him to be.
"How are they supposed to have any private hate-time with Tavros hovering over their shoulders?" Feferi asked as Rose led her to the alchemizer they had installed nearby. Sollux had computed exactly what Kanaya needed in under the time it took them to cover the distance, and Rose found a circuit board waiting for her. Not wanting to damage the board, she immediately captchalogued it at the bottom of her tree. "You should talk to him."
"I'll talk to him," she reassured. "Not that he's…"
"No, he's not going to listen at all," Feferi agreed, right on cue. She downed the rest of her water, collected another and jumped ahead of Rose, taking the down ladder instead of the up. "I'm going to go check on Aradia. Don't need two caliginous problems sneaking up on us at once, do we? See you later, Rose!"
"Bye, Feferi," Rose said. She cast a look over to Aradia with shielded eyes, and watched Feferi approach with her own arm up. Aradia heard her call and stopped her welding to have an uninterrupted conversation. Rose thought back to earlier in the week when Karkat had tried to get her to do the same thing and was met with nothing but a blazing wall of light. Aradia did not seem to stop working for just anyone. Equius annoyed her too much to actually stop. She had once stopped for Dave, who cameto greet her with ultra-prototyped shades and a squeeze of her shoulder, but even he had been there to talk about their real work, which meant she'd have had to drop whatever she was tending to anyway. She stopped for Feferi because that was the relationship. The same might have been said about moirallegience, but Aradia tended to not stop working for Vriska. Vriska only seemed to have had snide things or overt, sing-song saccharine things to say to Aradia whenever Rose was in earshot anyways. Rose was not sure whether Vriska thought she was an idiot or not, but she could not help but notice that while Aradia did not stop working, she did tended to respond to her so-called moirail one way or another, and was certainly listening.
"How're things going, Aradia?" Feferi asked.
"I'm all right, Feferi, how are—"
"COVER YOUR EARS!"
Everyone but Aradia quickly reset their ear protection and slammed their hands over them for good measure as Equius set something alive that rolled over other sounds and eardrums like a paper house. When it had died down, they held their hands there out of practice as Equius shouted something that sounded like "Ridiculous!" once or twice before following up that all was "CLEAR!"
"Sorry about that, Feferi," Aradia said.
"It's no problem at all!" Feferi said with a smile. "Thank you very much for saying, though!"
Rose wanted to like Aradia, but she had so little to work with. Somewhere, probably between the constant life-saving and honest tenderness, Dave had filed Aradia as totally un-ironic and tended not to talk about her at all in favour of his usual shlop. Rose found this absolutely precious, but beyond as a sign of her friends' affection it was useless to her. She had tried to explain her want it to Kanaya, one date. They had been sitting back to back, knitting again, outside in Skaia's soft world-light. In short, her argument came to down to friends not really being fond of someone who took away the time they used to have with a friend, especially when all they got out of it was an awkward ringside seat to "all that face-sucking." And between John, who tended to get Dave's off-time attention, Dave's own private time and Jade, Rose had had so very little time with Dave in the first place. After all, the patrols came first.
As Rose understood it, a fair bit of Dave and Aradia's patrol had nothing to do with actually policing Jack or staring into the night sky waiting for him, but rather with making absolutely sure that he never did what they did. It was a full-time job to manipulate Time to keep him from joining up with one of his past or future selves. Breaks from that work were mostly no more than half hours at a time, except in a irregular cases, and they rarely got to take those breaks together. As such, their mutual reliance strengthening daily, Rose could understand how it became even more important than usual to leech what spare time they had for themselves. When jibing Dave about it on request from a puppy-eyed Jade (but actually from a puppy-eyed John), Rose had confirmed that Dave was, indeed, hanging around with them less thanks to his new relationship.
"Shaving off five or ten here or there," he had said. "Join each other's sit'n'watch, talking about Mesoamerican culture."
"Talking about what?" Rose had asked from his bed, as he continued to play his musical turntables. Jade, lying next to Rose, continued to silently bop her head to the beat.
"Hey, a gentleman finds common interests."
"I'm going to assume this sudden interest of yours has its roots in your latent love of the preserved dead, Strider," Rose said. "Is it mummies, human sacrifices, or—! Excuse… or is it, possibly—!" Rose attempted to finish with "both" but was cut off again by Jade, who had been trying to derail the entire sentence by tickling Rose in the ribs.
"Macuhuitls," Dave had said, though Rose had barely heard him.
"Gesundheit," Rose managed to snark between laughs.
Dave had looked back at them as Rose tried to squirm away from Jade without surrendering the bed. He tossed his head the way he did to communicate an eye roll. "Shit, Rose, read a book!"
Rose was inclined to believe him about the chats. Ironic persona aside, she trusted Dave not to leave them unprotected just so that he and his girlfriend could have a shot at… whatever (Rose was content to not think about the particulars of the relationship, assumed-present or future). The point was that he was most certainly doing his job as usual. That meant that when she did see them kissing it was probably all the time they had for that at all. Usually when saying goodbye. It made Rose feel retroactively bad about the "face-sucking" comment: clearly, in mastering Time, Dave and Aradia had run out of it.
Dave was wearing stubble intentionally now, Rose had noticed.
"Hey Jade," Rose said to her friend as she passed her on one of the platforms. Jade smiled warily as she passed, adjusting the sweatband she was wearing in solidarity with John.
"Two hours to the bell, huh?" Jade remarked, and Rose nodded. Except for when he was scattering dummy shifts into the after-hours to cover to the genuine after-hour shifts Aradia and Dave needed from time to time, Karkat kept them on a strict ten-to-six schedule. The only exception was Gamzee, who had finally been broken to making three regular meals a day. "Getting tired of all this up and down."
"Why don't you teleport?" Rose asked.
"Karkat says I should be 'strength training,'" Jade said with a roll of her eyes. "I guess there's not really that much of a hurry, huh? See you at dinner, okay?" Rose nodded as she headed down towards Equius, whom she was heading to join on one of the few extended platforms, and made a face for Rose to see.
"Oh hush," Rose said. "He's not that bad."
"Hmph!" Jade replied, but disappeared below the edge.
Rose thought back to what Jade had been saying about not having to hurry as she climbed up to the next platform. Rose knew this was technically true. John had confided in her that the droids were working so well that the construction would ideally take only two months and the testing nowhere near another, but there had been more to selecting three months than accounting for delays. Looking down at Equius just made it more obvious.
Karkat's other concern had been that, since he and the other Trolls had been in the same spawning batch, it only stood to reason that virtually everyone but Aradia would be moulting within the next few months. In even the week that had followed he had been proven right, starting with himself. Karkat was now giving out orders in between furtive and enraged scratching aimed at his forehead and back. Gamzee had not done a thing about his new full-body dandruff except to look at his shoulder from time to time and start chuckling, which made it hard for Terezi or Rose to even want to bother him. Sollux had begun to gradually shift on his own over time, and Feferi had a moult on the sole of her foot that was forcing her to nurse a limp that day. All that said and done, Rose had not actually seen more than a peek at the moult until earlier that morning when she caught sight of Nepeta's back leg, which was covered with what looked like a green scab the size of Rose's hand and half again, with a white core. Somehow, Nepeta did not seem to mind, except for a wince she gave after jumping down a ladder to one of Equius' extended lectures. Equius himself looked like had gotten in a tiff with his moirail, but those were his own scratch marks covering his body from head to toe in rough blue, raw and sore. Still, compared to Nepeta, Rose did not pity him in the slightest.
"Miss Harley, could you pass me my electrical current measuring device?"
"R-right," Jade said, passing Equius the nearby ammeter.
"Thank you, Miss Harley, I do appreciate." Rose scoffed. Equius probably wouldn't thank her for anything short saving his life, but Jade? Well, that wasn't Jade's fault he thought she was some sort of surviving royalty. Jade returned to the toolbox and occupied herself with that. It was clear that being around Equius was bothering her, and more than usual. Stuff dripped at the construction site, even though it was still so new. Rose was certain one of her stains was outright eating its way through her old white t-shirt, though it did not burn to the touch. Given the added heat, a few of them, like Vriska and her jacket, had decided to dress down. Dave, when he had been there, had shown up shirtless. It was most certainly the coolguy thing to do, but he made a point (when she tried to look sarcastic about his arrival) to carry himself like it "ain't no thing." Eridan had done the same, citing the temperature, and from Feferi's frequent drink breaks, Rose got the impression that aquatic trolls were not quite built to sweat like their land-based counterparts, pre- or post-moult. But Equius doing the same was awkward. Even at his age he looked like a body-builder. Jade seemed to find that... uncomfortable.
Bang. "Back!" Nepeta chirped, once again calling a warning after jumping instead of before. Jade ceased her yelp of surprise and stood back to catch her breath as Nepeta walked past, loudly chewing some gum she had alchemized from John's collection. She headed over to Equius with a tray that still, despite the height of her jump, contained a clutch of circuitry. "How's it going?" she asked. Rose could not help but notice that she was covered with purple-black oil that looked like it had burst out onto her right side and was stuck to her almost everywhere. Judging from her usual grin, it thankfully had not hurt her.
"Well enough, considering this a thrice-redundant system," he said. "This engine controls the… out of the light, please, Nepeta." Nepeta set down the try and then moved over to Equius' opposite shoulder, practically lounging on his back. "This engine controls emergency backup rotors for the physical roofing system. The others are working just fine, considering they're not actually hooked up to the system itself yet, but this one is being more trouble than it's worth. I may have to replace it entirely."
"Don't want Jack to get away after we've caught him!" Nepeta concluded, and she stood up and drummed a quick beat on Equius' bare back with gloved hands, leaving behind uneven oil prints. She then paused and, as though deciding she was not willing or capable of just standing there, caroused about the platform for a moment before glomping Jade and pretending to fall asleep.
"…Jade?" Nepeta asked sleepily as Jade tried to meet Rose's eye in a plea for help.
"Y-yes?"
But all Nepeta had to say was "Mmmm…" before falling asleep again.
"…Perhaps you should go speak to Vantas about a new task, Nepeta?" Equius asked over his shoulder.
"Nope!" she said happily. "Just hafta—" Somewhere up on Tavros' level, a pipe exploded loudly. A sound not unlike that of a steaming kettle broke through the air, but Rose still managed to overhear Nepeta's anticlimactic "…Whuh oh," before covering her ears. The sound died following the even more disconcerting sound of buckling metal, and Rose freed her ears just in time to hear "Bye Jade!" before Nepeta darted up the ladder three rungs at a time. Whatever the problem was, she had soon patched it with a trip to the nearest set of valves.
Only then did Karkat close to give her the lecture he had been withholding, but she just smiled at him. As he continued, she outright set her elbows up on his shoulders and her head on her hands as though his shoulders were a table on which to lay. She pushed back her hair and nodded along with what he was saying, big eyes and twitching nose focused, like he were the most interesting thing in the world, before abruptly giving up all pretense and blowing a pink bubble of gum in his face.
"Hey, hey, don't you get that sticky crap anywhere near me," he said.
Nepeta reached out to brush at a smudge on his face. "But you're already covered in sticky crap!" she chirped. "And poor little red scratchies," she said, tickling at his cheek and leaving behind more of the oily substance. A sly grin took over her face then, and Nepeta slowly leaned forward to whisper something in Karkat's ear. Rose could not make out the exact words, but she could have not gotten more than a few out before Karkat jumped back, removing her from him deliberately by the wrists and surrendered his tirade in an embarrassed huff. Nepeta watched him go to flag down a droid with a mix of coy amusement and disappointment, but when the droid arrived she accepted it from him gracefully and bounded off, chattering to it like a playmate and skipping on one foot alongside the edge of a nearby bridge, spinning her arms as she jumped.
"I will never understand that one," Rose said aloud. Another passing drone beeped in negative reply.
"C4T GOT YOUR TONGUE, K4RK1TTY?" Terezi asked as he passed. She handed her wrench to Gamzee and he absent-mindedly collected it in a hand that already contained two Robertson screwdrivers and a pencil. "Because it sure sounded like she knows how to use hers, the way you flipped the fuck out."
"Shut the—" But he stopped, just like Rose would have expected. Karkat was obviously curbing himself around Terezi those days. Rose suspected that Kanaya had something to do with that, given an inference her girlfriend had passed along the day before, and that only made it more interesting to watch. "I could beat Nepeta in a debate any day," he said instead. "It's just loud." He started away, clearly having a better perspective on his ability to debate Terezi from the low ground he had, what with the noise and all.
"I wasn't talking about talking," Terezi said when he was two steps on his way to freedom. Karkat cringed and clutched a fist too tight to be comfortable as Terezi sauntered over, which was her usual disposition around Karkat those days. As far as Rose understood it, they still had not talked about their relationship, but the mood between them had changed almost as much as it hand between the new couples. Karkat had become the plaintive, as though he still clung to the hope that if their dreaded conversation did come, he could do so on more favourable emotional terrain. Terezi had become the unobtainable: deliberately elegant even in lich-torn jeans and a ragged Libra t-shirt, cackling and victoriously grinning from the start of each conversation; sneaking up behind him in the lab and blowing in his ear.
Today she was less subtle: "You know," she said, "you should honestly consider that bath."
Rose wanted to tell them both that they were being horrible to one another, but Gamzee had beaten her to it days before, telling them both that they were being "mOtHeRfUcKiNg BiTcHeS!" All this had accomplished (if accomplishing something had been the intent at all – Rose was having so much trouble telling for sure with Gamzee) was to make Terezi fall back onto the horns, kicking her feet in the air and letting out stream of uncontrollable laughter. Karkat had tried to slink away, but Kanaya had caught his attention and called him into the nearby chair, where she rubbed his back while he repeatedly reassured her that "I don't care. Why should I care?" He slammed his fist onto the desk only once before Kanaya caught it firm. With Rose knowing her quadrant and Terezi grinning upside down at Gamzee, Rose had slipped off find Eridan and Vriska (debating ice cream versus sorbert in the kitchen). There at least, she could tell someone they were an idiot (clearly the winner should have been gelato) without breaking protocol.
Karkat took a step away, and somehow walked smack into Gamzee. Even Rose had not seen how he had managed to get from behind Terezi to behind Karkat, but there he was, plain as day. "Hey best friend," he drawled, sounding almost sad.
"I do not want to talk to you," Karkat said, trying to edge past.
"Yeah, I know," Gamzee said. "I was just hoping you might wanna come chill tonight after our fucking waldorf historias."
"He's, uh, making Waldorf salad," Terezi clarified from behind. "I don't think anyone's gonna like it but he doesn't listen to me."
"Gamzee," Karkat said, "when have I ever chilled with you? I'm not going to fucking start now!"
He pushed past and headed up in Rose's direction, as Gamzee called after him. "I just figured you needed to motherfucking chill! motherfucker needs to chill," he repeated to Terezi, who patted his hand as they returned to whatever it was they were working on.. Karkat paused slightly at the sound of Gamzee's tone, but pushed the thought aside and vaulted up next to Rose, who had head it before and took it easily in stride.
"What are you looking at?" Karkat said toward Rose without even bothering to check.
"A motherfucker that needs to fucking chill," Rose said. He scoffed and tried to push by her as well, so Rose leaned back against the rails and watched him go, at least for a few rungs. "Gamzee hangs out with Terezi after dinner, I hope you realize."
Karkat dropped down to the platform, which like all of them reacted like like it was just short of plunging into the pit and take everything next to it along for the finale. "What?"
"Gamzee hangs out with Terezi," Rose repeated. "He was trying to get you along so you two might patch things up."
Karkat stared Rose hard in the eye, as if he could tell the truth of things through only a stare, but still needed to ask: "…Gamzee?"
Rose pushed him away. "Yes!"
"Why?"
"I don't know!" Rose replied. "He… does stuff like that!"
"No he doesn't! But…" Karkat, suddenly conspiratorial and ignoring Rose's earlier motions for personal space, edged closer and whispered. "Tell me honestly:" he said, "…have I screwed my chances with Terezi?"
"Honestly?"
"…Yeah," Karkat said, suddenly less confident.
"Mm-hm."
"Bullshit!" Karkat spat, and began to restlessly pace. "If you thought that was true, you wouldn't have called me back down here."
"Like hell this is bullshit," Rose said back, resisting the urge to shout. "You had your chance. I gave it to you! And you blew it! Too many 'sharp pointy rocks'!"
"Hey, hey!" Karkat rounded on her again. "I admit to my mistake! …I just don't think this one's fatal." Rose harrumphed and Karkat continued uninvited. "Hey, you don't know what this is like! You've never had the first girl you've ever… really… liked run off to be with the clown!"
"Hey," Rose shot back, "first off, she's not with Gamzee. But if she was, I'd appreciate it if you'd not act like he was such a surprise, because he's a nice guy and second off: he's still one of your two best friends. Which is why I called you back down here in the first place! He's trying to spend time with you, the least you could do would be to—"
"Has she gotten high with him?"
"…What?" Rose had to try very hard to remind herself just how responsible Karkat had been over the past few weeks, taking charge with John's plan. Maybe he had earned these little outbursts, if more preferably towards some manner of mirror or empty room. "How is that any of your—"
"Have you?"
That was it. Rose would have to await the return of her fearless co-leader some other day. "Here's an idea, Karkat," she said, grabbing his shirt by the shoulder. He immediately snapped an arm up to grab her by the wrist. She could feel the strength in his hands far outstripping her own, but Karkat's restraint won out, still the responsible young man Rose would have preferred to talk to, perhaps realizing just how silly he was sounding.
"…you want me to go talk to her instead," he mumbled at last, trying not to make it sound like a question. Rose nodded. "Fine."
Rose followed him to the top of the ladder as he descended. "I think you know from your movies that pity makes all the great leads do stupid things, Karkat,"
"Don't patronize me, Lalonde."
"…Good luck," Rose said at last.
"Yeah," said another voice. "…Speaking of."
Rose looked up at his cue and jumped back into the railing in surprise, jostling the platform. Karkat clung tight to the ladder below and sent up a string of expletives to help his grip. Vriska, rolled her eyes at Rose as she waited for her to recover.
"I swear…" she said, floating soundlessly, just above the platform. "Come on, I need your help." Vriska held out a hand to Rose, who eyed it warily.
"I can climb, thanks."
"Ugh, this is f8ster!!!!!!!!" Vriska insisted, and grabbed Rose by the hand. Rose gave up, knowing that this would be a senseless battle, and allowed Vriska to loop her arms around her waist. Vriska's dreamself powers were able to lift them both handily. They landed on the platform alongside Eridan, who was muttering to himself as Tavros stood by, looking his usual awkward.
"Alright morons," Vriska said, depositing Rose on the banister such that she had to grab hold of Vriska's sleeve to keep from falling back. "Let's shut this up once and for all. Rose, tell the Purple Wonder here that he can't hog Tavros all the damn time."
Rose, having returned safely to her feet, heaved a heave sigh. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me. You are not actually having this debate, you children."
"Hey!" Eridan snapped, still shirtless and nursing a water bottle of his own, "I was going to go about this nice and mature about it when she started getting her bitch on!"
"That is technically true, if, uh, crude," Tavros said. "But I'd say you were getting just as into it as she was."
Eridan looked hurt. "Oh, come on Tav, it's just because we're all spades is all. wwhat wwas i supposed to do, just stand there"
Rose looked up, from one whiny charge to the other, meeting both of their eyes, before settling on the other. "Tavros. Come."
She led him over, by the hole in the platform serviced by the up-and-down ladder and stood directly between him and his two friends, who immediately began snipping at one another instead. "Tavros," Rose said. "Want to do everyone here a favour?"
"Well I… I certainly think that could help, wouldn't it?" Tavros said, looking back at the other two. "But I was just going to, you know, leave."
"Pardon?" Rose said, and Tavros nodded.
"Yeah, I mean, Eridan's my matesprit and Vriska's my friend but I think they're just being… uh… stupid. iF I CAN SAY THAT. So I'm going to go spend some time, like, without them."
Rose was agape. She wished so badly that Tavros had been able to find the strength to say that to her auspisticees instead of her, but all the same. "Tavros, I could kiss you! But that's Eridan's job and I couldn't possibly hate you enough right now. Get on, go!"
Despite Rose's purely demonstrative motions to the ladder, Tavros stalled. "Well, that's part of the thing, Rose, because I'm not sure where to, uh, go. I think Gamzee's busy right now, because I can hear Karkat from, uh—"
"…FUCKING DUMBASSES, ALL OF YOU..."
Tavros gulped. "…from here."
"Okay," Rose said. "I've got a new plan. You're supposed to be at the other side of the platform from John, right? So how about you go help Jade with the math she's doing. It'll keep you between her and Sollux and uh… I think she'd appreciate the company."
Tavros gulped. "I'm not so sure I'd be able to make, uh, that any less awkward with all, uh, that." It was only then that Rose noticed the glove-bound handprint Nepeta had left on his shoulder at some point earlier in the day. It almost looked as though she had pinned him down after a tackle, safety concerns thrown to the wind. "…but I could try."
"Whatever you want, Tavros," Rose said, and got him to smile just a bit.
"I'll, uh, see you later, guys!" he called, to no response before stepping off the platform and using his robot boot's haphazard rocket attachment to descend the scaffolding, characteristically smacking his horns into the floor before twisting properly to get by.
That accomplished, Rose turned back to the real body of work. "Okay you two," she started. But they were not listening.
"You piece of shit, Vris!"
Vriska rubbed her hands together. "Oooh, ooh, did that one hit a nerve, Eridan?"
"Wait, what happened?" Rose asked, not really letting her subconscious catch up to the rest of her mind to remind her that she did not want to know.
"Eh?" Vriska looked over her shoulder. "Oh. Brought up Feferi."
"Don't you bring my moirallegience into this, Vris, gog dammit." He jabbed her just below the neck with a finger. "And don't you dare compare it to Tav, because I swear—"
"You'll what?" Vriska cooed back. "Poke me again?"
"It's against the rules," he growled, but his frown turned to a sneer after a moment's thought. "Besides, I've learned my lesson, while you've learned shit. I didn't tell Fef how I felt and I got kicked to the curb, so I told Tav how I felt and check it out, would you? But you… oh, well that's different, isnt it vris? you havent learned a damn thing How long's your list?"
Rose flinched at that, acutely aware of just how close Eridan was to the edge of the platform relative to Vriska and, on a more primal level, worried about how neutral she would be if the discussion shifted to Vriska's moiraillegiance with Kanaya. Vriska appeared to be simply taken aback, but started to smile and she slowly stepped toward her kismesis. She caught one of his legs in her instep and pressed her body just short of his. Oh for the love of God, Rose thought. You idiot, don't just stand there.
"You want to talk about rules and limits, Eridan?" She raised a finger to his face, drawing it past his bare chest as she went, and Rose watched as his anger seemed to seep out of him with each inch she closed between them. Rose briefly tried to figure out a way to communicate to him to step away or, better, to push her away, but her stomach was sick just listening the two of them and even considering encouraging them made it flip. "Here's a limit for you. It'll be our little game! If you touch me again in the next three days, I break whatever you touched me with."
As she barred her teeth at him, Vriska tested Eridan by pushing her finger towards his nose, and he backed off dutifully. Despite, he spoke up. "And if I win?" Eridan asked, showing more gall than Rose would have allowed him. Vriska just laughed.
"Right, Eridan," she said as she climbed over the railing herself. "Right." And then she leapt over and went into an outright dead drop for two storeys before catching herself with her powers.
"…So," Eridan said to Rose, though he continued to scowl at his hands. "What do you think?"
Rose shook herself to chase away the vertigo. "What do you think" was more or less expected at this point. They both said it, independent of one another such that only talking to Kanaya convinced Rose that it wasn't some sort of ashen custom. Only Eridan seemed to be looking for genuine criticism while Vriska seemed to be angling something less substantial. Rose imagined "applause."
"I think you could have done better," Rose said in her standard non-answer, like she normally did when she was not in the mood to pretend that two people could honestly be drawn together in currents of bile. "Eridan, Tavros went off to do his own thing."
"Yeah, I saw. I'll see him later." Eridan glanced towards the work Vriska had abandoned before Rose. He crushed his hand into a fist, and Rose could only imagine what he had been picturing sitting in his palm.
"Eridan," Rose repeated. "Don't fight over him any more, okay? It's not fair."
Eridan shook out his palm. "If Vris can't sort her friends into quadrants, how's that my problem?"
"It's not fair to Tavros."
"…oh." Eridan sighed. "Fuck, Roz, you're right, I'm just a little hot-headed." He looked down at the platforms below them. "Where is he? I should tell him I'm sorry."
"Forget it," Rose said, returning to the ladder. "Like you said, you'll see him tonight. I'll talk to Vriska later, okay?"
"Could I?" he said, and when she glared at him, he cheekily supplied: "It'd be a great opening! And besides," he said, "it's not so much a fight about Tav so much as… Okay, fine, Roz." He shook his head in disappointment but then, as he sometimes did, smiled to her.
Rose smiled back out of politeness. He passed smiles on from time to time, whenever she had done something to repair the tack-and-tar-lined bridge that lay between him and Vriska, and she just did not know how to feel about that. As she climbed the ladder that ultimately led to John and Kanaya's platform she was able to see beyond, with no scaffolding in the way. There she caught sight of the purple-reflected light of Jade and Kanaya's False Derse through the partially open hangar doors above, more like smooth bolas than a moon. Still, watching it in a gentle hypnosis, Rose was intimately reminded of the etymology behind the word "lunatic."
John's head popped up in front of the False Derse, his cockeyed grin all she could see for a moment before he finished pressing his glasses back to his face. "Bad day at the office?" he asked, extending a hand to her.
"You have no idea," she said, and held one arm in the other as she looked out over the edge of the platform, the very top of their operation at present. Kanaya was nearby, pulling herself out of the tunnel again. "Hey, Dusty," Rose greeted. Kanaya made a face and blew a lock of hair out of her face, kicking up an unfortunate cloud of the dirt that sent her coughing. Rose could not help but laugh, especially with John there to aggravate her. Kanaya took them both demurely in stride.
Rose remembered how, as they had been sitting back to back under the light of Skaia, Kanaya had asked if her friends disliked her for the same reasons she was worried about Aradia. Rose had tried to clarify.
"Not 'dislike.' Or... at least one certainly hopes not to dislike. Losing time with your friend can just… make you neutral where you want to be 'for.' I mean, it's your friend and you want the stuff they love, even if just a little, but sometimes it's hard."
"With the face-sucking," Kanaya repeated.
"Of course," Rose said, at the time still comfortable with her choice of euphemism. She purled her yarn and tried to gauge Kanaya's reaction to what she was saying strictly from her limited contact with her back. "Of course," she said, "you and I haven't been doing any distracting sucking-of-faces, so what could my friends possibly have to dislike?"
Kanaya had replied with a hesitant, stammering laugh; Rose had bitten her tongue and made a mental note to take any inquiries into her friends from her nervous new girlfriend more seriously from then on. Wanting to make up for her slip, Rose had turned about. Kanaya's moulting had, at the time, moved off of her back and down to her legs, so Rose decided to gently rub her matesprit's back. Her hand ran over, from smooth bottom-left to the odd partially-armoured new flesh of the top-right, and Kanaya's tension had at first calmed before, suddenly, she shifted away. Rose stomach sank in worry that she had pushed a bit too far, but she still took her hint and returned to how they had been sitting, if a little further apart. They stayed that way until, time passing, Kanaya leaned back to ask Rose a quick question and returned to original spot as they worked.
Ten minutes later, Kanaya had leaned back her head, her straight horn brushing just past Rose's hair. She had sighed, content, and whispered something soft about the world-light shining down on them. It was in that exact moment, as she had reached up to run a finger through Kanaya's hair, that Rose had given up any hope of convincing Dave to surrender more time to his friends.
I am supposed to be working. If any fic at all, I'm supposed to be working on The Dargon Arc, especially what with the bits of canon it introduces are already flitting around even if you don't notice them. OH WELL.
Last edited by SkaianRedeemer; 03-02-2011 at 04:22 PM.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
I actually wrote this for the worksafe anon meme over on LJ a few days ago, but it came out a lot better than I expected it to so I think I'll bring it over here.
Sight, Mind
Karkat doesn't even know where they are, anymore, but he's fairly sure that Gamzee shouldn't have been able to track them here. They cut through Sollux's room to get here, after all, and there's no way the indigo-blooded troll should have been able to follow them through the transportalizer. Maybe it was pure bad luck that Gamzee had managed to find another way here; maybe Vriska has become just so lucky that she's begun to passively leach it from everyone else on the meteor rather than just stealing it when she's actively in combat.
It doesn't really matter now, though, as the two of them are cornered - literally cornered with the juncture of two smooth walls at their backs and the murderous clown in front of them - and wondering how he got there won't make Gamzee go away. Karkat pushes Sollux behind him, and he has to envy his friend's blindness. It won't make Sollux end up any less dead, of course, but at least he doesn't have to see the scratches and smears of blood, doesn't have to see the way that Gamzee's usually vacant eyes have become a little too sharp and bright.
Karkat wonders, given that there's no way in hell either of them are getting out of this alive, if he's really doing Sollux any favors in trying to protect the blind troll. Maybe it would be kinder to let his friend die quickly. Maybe he just doesn't have the nerve to watch Sollux die again.
His hand shifts on the grip of a sickle, but it's useless, the blade pinned to the wall with the blunt mass of a club, with more strength than Karkat realized the other had. Gamzee leans in until their faces almost touch, until in Karkat's vision, the smears of errant paint and blood all blur together and then there's only the hard yellow of Gamzee's eyes. Karkat had thought he was terrified when he read Gamzee's text, but that's nothing compared to the low, almost husky sound of his voice. "Tell me, best bro, what's be your position on miracles?"
Karkat glares back - if there's one thing Karkat can do under pressure, it's glare - and Gamzee's face twists in rage. "I SAID, WHAT'S YOUR MOTHERFUCKING POSTION ON MOTHERFUCKING MIRALCES, KARKAT?" As he yells, Karkat cowers a little, hating himself as he does so - hah, Karkat hating himself, what else is new - and he can feel Sollux's horns digging into his back as he crowds the corner.
"You know, I think he probably heard you the first time."
Gamzee turns so quickly that he smacks Karkat in the side of the head with one of his horns - Karkat isn't even sure how that happens; Gamzee has pretty big horns but it's not like they stick out way to the sides like Tavros' did. Karkat shakes his head slightly to clear it, peering past the clown, hoping that somehow what he sees will not match up with what he heard. But no, of course, it's Terezi standing there on the other side of the room, hands folded over the top of a dragon-headed cane, and Karkat feels for a moment as if someone, somehow, has replaced his mutant blood with ice water.
"What the fuck, Terezi, get out of here!" he shouts, and finds that Gamzee's inattention has freed his weapon. He tries to bring the sickle to bear, and the club snaps out again, this time catching Karkat's wrist against the wall instead of his blade. Karkat chokes out a string of foul language, vision momentarily tinted red and white with pain as he feels the bones of his wrist shift and crack under the pressure.
"Shut up," Gamzee says, leaning in beside Karkat's ear, his voice somewhere between a growl and a purr. Slowly he looks up again, over his shoulder at Terezi, and roars, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" and Karkat's ears ring with the sound of Gamzee's voice.
Across the room, Terezi's grin full of sharp teeth and her glassy red eyes are both very wide, and Karkat kind of regrets ever complaining about her being creepy while she was wearing her glasses. The effect without the pointy red lenses is a thousand times worse.
"I mean, you kind of have to let people get a word in... turnwise," she continues, as if Karkat hadn't spoken (and despite the appreciable levels of mortal terror that are currently effecting him, Karkat has to roll his eyes at the verbal artifact of her terrible flirtation with that terrible human guy). "Unless you're just toying with them before you kill them, of course, but I think you'll find that strategy won't hold up in the long term. You'll run out of people to kill."
"So what, you're going to stop me?" Gamzee asks, tilting his head to one side in a way that would be almost comical if he wasn't moments away from murdering one of his closest friends. "Are you going to BRING A MOTHERFUCKING SUBJUGGLATOR TO JUSTICE, CHICA?" His attention is on Terezi now; if not for the club crushing his wrist into the wall, Karkat would think that the clown had forgotten he was there. Karkat wonders if Gamzee has forgotten that Sollux is there, behind him. He wonders if it would make any difference - even if Sollux could sneak away now, it's not as if the freshly-blinded troll would be able to find his way out of the room unassisted.
"What, is there one around?" she asks idly, and Karkat wants to beg her to shut up, to run, but he can't seem to figure out how to make the words form around the terror and the pain in his wrist. If she can smell or hear or whatever his distress, she makes no sign. Casually, she wanders into the middle of the room, her cane tapping softly against the slick metal floor. "Don't get me wrong, Gamzee, you're off to a good start, but you've acknowledged your heritage for what, two hours now? Your enthusiasm is great, but..."
"But what?" Gamzee hisses. Quiet Gamzee is definitely more frightening than loud Gamzee, Karkat decides.
"But it's pretty clear you don't have any idea what you're doing!" Terezi replies. "I mean, you just asked if I was going to bring a subjugglator to justice, and that doesn't even make any sense! It's like asking if I'm going to drown a seadweller."
Jegus, Karkat wonders, why won't she shut up? Why won't she run? Does she really think she can manipulate Gamzee back to some semblance of sanity?
"WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO?" Wait, no, loud Gamzee's worse than quiet Gamzee. Karkat involuntarily draws back again, earning himself a fresh wave of pain from his pinned wrist and an irritated grumble from Sollux, who shifts and drops into a crouch behind him.
"I think I'm talking to a highblood who needs a proper legiscalator to help him figure out where to direct his wrath," Terezi says with a smirk, "so he doesn't waste his time on stupid lowbloods and mutants when there's a back-stabbing blueblood who's been running around breaking all the rules. All of them. Really, Gamzee, I know Karkat's amusing when he's freaked out, but he's small time."
"So now you're all up in telling me how to do my job?"
"I'm just trying to help," she says brightly.
"I DON'T NEED NO HELP FROM NO MOTHERFUCKING TEAL SHIT STAIN!" Gamzee turns to advance on her, raising the club in his hand, and Karkat nearly collapses in surprise as his wrist is released. As Gamzee moves, Terezi's eyes narrow and her nostrils flare, just slightly.
"Now, Karkat!" she shouts, the indolent teasing gone all out of her voice and replaced with urgency.
For a long, horrible, fraction of a moment, Terezi's words make no sense to Karkat, and then from behind him, Sollux is fumbling for Karkat's good hand and pressing the dropped sickle into it. "Go, you useless grubsucker," the blind boy snarls, and, weapon in hand, Karkat finds that the idea of doing something once again makes sense in his fear-addled thinkpan.
Karkat takes off at a sprint, but by the time he catches up Gamzee has reached Terezi's position and grabbed her by one arm, using his other hand to beat her about the head and torso with his club, as she tries ineffectually to block the blows with her cane. Karkat throws himself onto Gamzee's back, and the crazed clown stumbles a little under the unexpected weight, releasing his grip on Terezi.
Karkat's not sure how it happens, what order things happen in or even who did what (although he supposes that it must have been him who struck the blow that really counts, as he's the one with the bladed weapon), but a moment later, he's pulling Gamzee's limp frame off of Terezi, who sits up slowly and spits out a mouthful of teal.
"What happened?" Sollux demands, hesitating in the corner. "Is it over? Is everyone all right?"
Karkat drops to his knees beside Terezi, dropping the bloody sickle and wrapping his good arm - the one without the broken wrist - around her shoulders to support her. "Are you all right?" he asks, echoing Sollux's sentiment because he doesn't seem to be functioning on a level to come up with his own. Terezi slowly regards the indigo-soaked front of her own shirt, and reaches up a hand to wipe the splatter from her face.
"Ick," she says weakly. "Sour grape." Karkat stares at her for a long moment, unsure of just how angry he ought to be, and then dissolves into laughter.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by Megafire
Red vs. Blue The SBURB Chronicles
-- knowledgableAndroid [KA] began pestering defaultHandle [DH] –
KA: Grif!
KA: I know you’re there Grif.
KA: I can see you on my screen.
KA: Remember?
KA: Answer me!
DH: hey simmons
DH: sup
KA: You know what’s up!
KA: And stop using chat speak.
KA: It’s stupid.
DH: yes mom
DH: i have no idea what youre talking about
KA: Yes, you do!
DH: enlighten me
KA: Why are you Sarge’s Server Player?
KA: I was going to be Sarge’s Server Player!
DH: right
DH: and have him be mine
DH: not gonna happen
KA: Why would you take this from me?
KA: I’ve lived my whole life for this moment!
KA: And you took it from me!
DH: that is so so sad
KA: Shut up.
DH: so sad simmons
KA: Shut the fuck up, Grif.
KA: Please tell me you’re at least doing your Server Player duties.
DH: yeah
DH: i dropped all that stuff just like that blue guy said
DH: that means my jobs done
DH: easiest job ever by the way
KA: No, it’s not.
KA: You’re supposed to build his house up.
DH: haha
DH: very funny simmons
DH: you got me
KA: I’m serious!
KA: Hasn’t Sarge told you anything?
DH: no
KA: Why not?
DH: cause i blocked him
DH: durr
KA: Whaaaaaaat!?
DH: this chat thing is great
DH: coolest thing ever
KA: How did you even figure out how to do that without even knowing how to change your Chumhandle?
DH: i changed my color
DH: hey you whats really awesome
DH: i can drop a toilet on him and theres nothing he can do about it
KA: I can do that with you too.
KA: Just thought I’d mention that.
DH: ha
DH: you wouldnt dare
KA: Watch me.
DH: kissass
KA: Cockbite.
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
@Septimus: I'm going to admit that I'm having trouble following this (character relationships are something I seem to have trouble with in all-pesterlog fics with unorthodox relationships, like this and Kcutsemoh), but what I am following intrigues me. Keep it up!
@battlerek: Your Karkat trainer fic vaguely reminds me of one of my own from back in the day, except actually clever. "What?" "Wott." "What?" "Wott." Pfffft.
@bramble: I liked how you worked in Terezi using her role as Seer of Mind to distract Gamzee, and made a deal out of Karkat's lazy distraction. Terezi pointing out that you can't bring a subjuggalator to justice was especially good, as far as I understand the popular canon (fanon?).
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Taking a break from Crossing Over to write more meta-fic, in the vein of Self-Imposed Challenge. This might be a series if I can think of more material, we'll see.
Re: Sburb Patch Notes - Version Update Preview
Originally Posted by Skaian Labs
The upcoming April update will bring all kinds of new fun to Sburb, and today, the dev team is proud to unveil one new feature planned for implementation in April.
Multi-Specibus Weapons
Alchemizing new gear always seems to be a priority among players, and nothing offers tantalizing new possibilities quite like a new weapon to bash foes with! Sadly, many players alchemize a new weapon, spending thousands of units of multiple types of Grist, only to find the end result isn't compatible with their strife specibus, and the weapon they had so looked forward to wielding ends up being given to a friend, or worse, scrapped altogether.
Well, no more! Starting this April, players will find many of their alchemized weapons can be allocated to more than one type of strife specibus. This change will include legendary-class weapons, blowing the doors open to all kinds of new strife-related possibilities. We can't go into too much detail, but we can reveal that we'll be doing something gloveKind users have wanted for a long time. That's right, the legendary chainsawKind weapon Cayman's Pigsticker will finally be available for gloveKind players to wield!
Stay tuned for more version update previews!
Originally Posted by Sburbian
Originally Posted by Winnie the Poop 2
Originally Posted by Sburbian
Originally Posted by autonomousArctangent
Originally Posted by MadJack
"Cayman's Pigsticker will finally be available for gloveKind players to wield!"
FUCK
YES
hahaha seriously SL? this is the best you can do? no wonder this fuckin game's dying, you keep pandering to casuals
WoW killer my ass
Jesus Christ, AA, why do you still play this game? Every fucking update you're always bitching, "SL's ruining Sburb" this and "the game was better before they implemented dreamselves" that and urrrrgh
This just in: people have been using the same fucking weapons for years. Hell my character's hammerkind and even I'm getting tired of looking at my WoZ, if Piston Fists get doublespecced into hammer I'm looking forward to giving those a try.
why the fuck would you use piston fists over zilly/fna? zilly/fna gives you all the dps of zilly with fna's stun effect
Piston Fists with the right spec gives you four attacks per round; with the right buffs, I've seen people stunlock fucking Greater Shoggoths. I mean yeah it takes longer to kill them that way and I probably wouldn't do it in a group but for solo? Fuck yes I would get myself a pair of PFs.
Originally Posted by Skaian Mike
Originally Posted by autonomousArctangent
Originally Posted by Gamblin' Man
Originally Posted by Sburbian
Originally Posted by deathApproaches
Originally Posted by hella jeff
Originally Posted by thaSnazzle
well this is just fucking great. I finally had enough grist to build a Ribbitar and right after I made the damn thing, this fucking preview goes up on the forums. why the fuck would anyone build an SR when Chain Sawd is obviously going bladekind next update, costs half the grist to build and a quarter of the boondollars to buy at the auction house, and has better dps to boot?
because alchemizing a double-bladed scarlet ribbitar needs TWO of them, and as far as anyone can tell that's still one of the best weapons in the game for doublebladekind users.
Snazzle's got a point though, some things are going to be completely pointless after this update. What diceKind user is going to trust the Flourite Octet when they can dip into hammerKind and make the more reliable Roll For Initiative? Who the hell is even going to allocate clawKind if its entire catalog is covered by gloveKind? Or halberdKind when every halberd can be equipped with spearKind or axeKind?
No way they're making RFI dicekind, it's just a hammer with d20s for heads. At its core it's still just a big hammer.
It wouldn't surprise me if they folded some specibi into others though. I could see all clawkind users being switched to gloveKind, and halberdkind revoked and its users given a free strife allocation.
"just a hammer with d20s for heads"? the fuck you say? RFI kicks ass and its random damage bonuses are all kinds of fun, shit's like using G&W in Smash Bros
spoken like a true noob who never had the talent to go for a zilly. you WOULD like RFI you stupid bastard
(USER WAS INFRACTED FOR THIS POST)
This is your final warning, AA. One more crack like that and I swear you're out of here.
Notes:
First one to catch all the references gets a shiny boondollar
Seriously though, treating Sburb like an actual videogame and imagining what Sburb forums are like is all kinds of fun
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by anonymousComrade
Taking a break from Crossing Over to write more meta-fic, in the vein of Self-Imposed Challenge. This might be a series if I can think of more material, we'll see.
Re: Sburb Patch Notes - Version Update Preview
Originally Posted by Skaian Labs
The upcoming April update will bring all kinds of new fun to Sburb, and today, the dev team is proud to unveil one new feature planned for implementation in April.
Multi-Specibus Weapons
Alchemizing new gear always seems to be a priority among players, and nothing offers tantalizing new possibilities quite like a new weapon to bash foes with! Sadly, many players alchemize a new weapon, spending thousands of units of multiple types of Grist, only to find the end result isn't compatible with their strife specibus, and the weapon they had so looked forward to wielding ends up being given to a friend, or worse, scrapped altogether.
Well, no more! Starting this April, players will find many of their alchemized weapons can be allocated to more than one type of strife specibus. This change will include legendary-class weapons, blowing the doors open to all kinds of new strife-related possibilities. We can't go into too much detail, but we can reveal that we'll be doing something gloveKind users have wanted for a long time. That's right, the legendary chainsawKind weapon Cayman's Pigsticker will finally be available for gloveKind players to wield!
Stay tuned for more version update previews!
Originally Posted by Sburbian
Originally Posted by Winnie the Poop 2
Originally Posted by Sburbian
Originally Posted by autonomousArctangent
Originally Posted by MadJack
"Cayman's Pigsticker will finally be available for gloveKind players to wield!"
FUCK
YES
hahaha seriously SL? this is the best you can do? no wonder this fuckin game's dying, you keep pandering to casuals
WoW killer my ass
Jesus Christ, AA, why do you still play this game? Every fucking update you're always bitching, "SL's ruining Sburb" this and "the game was better before they implemented dreamselves" that and urrrrgh
This just in: people have been using the same fucking weapons for years. Hell my character's hammerkind and even I'm getting tired of looking at my WoZ, if Piston Fists get doublespecced into hammer I'm looking forward to giving those a try.
why the fuck would you use piston fists over zilly/fna? zilly/fna gives you all the dps of zilly with fna's stun effect
Piston Fists with the right spec gives you four attacks per round; with the right buffs, I've seen people stunlock fucking Greater Shoggoths. I mean yeah it takes longer to kill them that way and I probably wouldn't do it in a group but for solo? Fuck yes I would get myself a pair of PFs.
Originally Posted by Skaian Mike
Originally Posted by autonomousArctangent
Originally Posted by Gamblin' Man
Originally Posted by Sburbian
Originally Posted by deathApproaches
Originally Posted by hella jeff
Originally Posted by thaSnazzle
well this is just fucking great. I finally had enough grist to build a Ribbitar and right after I made the damn thing, this fucking preview goes up on the forums. why the fuck would anyone build an SR when Chain Sawd is obviously going bladekind next update, costs half the grist to build and a quarter of the boondollars to buy at the auction house, and has better dps to boot?
because alchemizing a double-bladed scarlet ribbitar needs TWO of them, and as far as anyone can tell that's still one of the best weapons in the game for doublebladekind users.
Snazzle's got a point though, some things are going to be completely pointless after this update. What diceKind user is going to trust the Flourite Octet when they can dip into hammerKind and make the more reliable Roll For Initiative? Who the hell is even going to allocate clawKind if its entire catalog is covered by gloveKind? Or halberdKind when every halberd can be equipped with spearKind or axeKind?
No way they're making RFI dicekind, it's just a hammer with d20s for heads. At its core it's still just a big hammer.
It wouldn't surprise me if they folded some specibi into others though. I could see all clawkind users being switched to gloveKind, and halberdkind revoked and its users given a free strife allocation.
"just a hammer with d20s for heads"? the fuck you say? RFI kicks ass and its random damage bonuses are all kinds of fun, shit's like using G&W in Smash Bros
spoken like a true noob who never had the talent to go for a zilly. you WOULD like RFI you stupid bastard
(USER WAS INFRACTED FOR THIS POST)
This is your final warning, AA. One more crack like that and I swear you're out of here.
Notes:
First one to catch all the references gets a shiny boondollar
Seriously though, treating Sburb like an actual videogame and imagining what Sburb forums are like is all kinds of fun
They destroy their planet a couple hundreds of times but still survive to get infracted for calling someone a noob?
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by TacticGamer
Originally Posted by anonymousComrade
Taking a break from Crossing Over to write more meta-fic, in the vein of Self-Imposed Challenge. This might be a series if I can think of more material, we'll see.
Re: Sburb Patch Notes - Version Update Preview
Originally Posted by Skaian Labs
The upcoming April update will bring all kinds of new fun to Sburb, and today, the dev team is proud to unveil one new feature planned for implementation in April.
Multi-Specibus Weapons
Alchemizing new gear always seems to be a priority among players, and nothing offers tantalizing new possibilities quite like a new weapon to bash foes with! Sadly, many players alchemize a new weapon, spending thousands of units of multiple types of Grist, only to find the end result isn't compatible with their strife specibus, and the weapon they had so looked forward to wielding ends up being given to a friend, or worse, scrapped altogether.
Well, no more! Starting this April, players will find many of their alchemized weapons can be allocated to more than one type of strife specibus. This change will include legendary-class weapons, blowing the doors open to all kinds of new strife-related possibilities. We can't go into too much detail, but we can reveal that we'll be doing something gloveKind users have wanted for a long time. That's right, the legendary chainsawKind weapon Cayman's Pigsticker will finally be available for gloveKind players to wield!
Stay tuned for more version update previews!
Originally Posted by Sburbian
Originally Posted by Winnie the Poop 2
Originally Posted by Sburbian
Originally Posted by autonomousArctangent
Originally Posted by MadJack
"Cayman's Pigsticker will finally be available for gloveKind players to wield!"
FUCK
YES
hahaha seriously SL? this is the best you can do? no wonder this fuckin game's dying, you keep pandering to casuals
WoW killer my ass
Jesus Christ, AA, why do you still play this game? Every fucking update you're always bitching, "SL's ruining Sburb" this and "the game was better before they implemented dreamselves" that and urrrrgh
This just in: people have been using the same fucking weapons for years. Hell my character's hammerkind and even I'm getting tired of looking at my WoZ, if Piston Fists get doublespecced into hammer I'm looking forward to giving those a try.
why the fuck would you use piston fists over zilly/fna? zilly/fna gives you all the dps of zilly with fna's stun effect
Piston Fists with the right spec gives you four attacks per round; with the right buffs, I've seen people stunlock fucking Greater Shoggoths. I mean yeah it takes longer to kill them that way and I probably wouldn't do it in a group but for solo? Fuck yes I would get myself a pair of PFs.
Originally Posted by Skaian Mike
Originally Posted by autonomousArctangent
Originally Posted by Gamblin' Man
Originally Posted by Sburbian
Originally Posted by deathApproaches
Originally Posted by hella jeff
Originally Posted by thaSnazzle
well this is just fucking great. I finally had enough grist to build a Ribbitar and right after I made the damn thing, this fucking preview goes up on the forums. why the fuck would anyone build an SR when Chain Sawd is obviously going bladekind next update, costs half the grist to build and a quarter of the boondollars to buy at the auction house, and has better dps to boot?
because alchemizing a double-bladed scarlet ribbitar needs TWO of them, and as far as anyone can tell that's still one of the best weapons in the game for doublebladekind users.
Snazzle's got a point though, some things are going to be completely pointless after this update. What diceKind user is going to trust the Flourite Octet when they can dip into hammerKind and make the more reliable Roll For Initiative? Who the hell is even going to allocate clawKind if its entire catalog is covered by gloveKind? Or halberdKind when every halberd can be equipped with spearKind or axeKind?
No way they're making RFI dicekind, it's just a hammer with d20s for heads. At its core it's still just a big hammer.
It wouldn't surprise me if they folded some specibi into others though. I could see all clawkind users being switched to gloveKind, and halberdkind revoked and its users given a free strife allocation.
"just a hammer with d20s for heads"? the fuck you say? RFI kicks ass and its random damage bonuses are all kinds of fun, shit's like using G&W in Smash Bros
spoken like a true noob who never had the talent to go for a zilly. you WOULD like RFI you stupid bastard
(USER WAS INFRACTED FOR THIS POST)
This is your final warning, AA. One more crack like that and I swear you're out of here.
Notes:
First one to catch all the references gets a shiny boondollar
Seriously though, treating Sburb like an actual videogame and imagining what Sburb forums are like is all kinds of fun
They destroy their planet a couple hundreds of times but still survive to get infracted for calling someone a noob?
Re: MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands
Originally Posted by anonymousComrade
Taking a break from Crossing Over to write more meta-fic, in the vein of Self-Imposed Challenge. This might be a series if I can think of more material, we'll see.
Re: Sburb Patch Notes - Version Update Preview
Originally Posted by Skaian Labs
The upcoming April update will bring all kinds of new fun to Sburb, and today, the dev team is proud to unveil one new feature planned for implementation in April.
Multi-Specibus Weapons
Alchemizing new gear always seems to be a priority among players, and nothing offers tantalizing new possibilities quite like a new weapon to bash foes with! Sadly, many players alchemize a new weapon, spending thousands of units of multiple types of Grist, only to find the end result isn't compatible with their strife specibus, and the weapon they had so looked forward to wielding ends up being given to a friend, or worse, scrapped altogether.
Well, no more! Starting this April, players will find many of their alchemized weapons can be allocated to more than one type of strife specibus. This change will include legendary-class weapons, blowing the doors open to all kinds of new strife-related possibilities. We can't go into too much detail, but we can reveal that we'll be doing something gloveKind users have wanted for a long time. That's right, the legendary chainsawKind weapon Cayman's Pigsticker will finally be available for gloveKind players to wield!
Stay tuned for more version update previews!
Originally Posted by Sburbian
Originally Posted by Winnie the Poop 2
Originally Posted by Sburbian
Originally Posted by autonomousArctangent
Originally Posted by MadJack
"Cayman's Pigsticker will finally be available for gloveKind players to wield!"
FUCK
YES
hahaha seriously SL? this is the best you can do? no wonder this fuckin game's dying, you keep pandering to casuals
WoW killer my ass
Jesus Christ, AA, why do you still play this game? Every fucking update you're always bitching, "SL's ruining Sburb" this and "the game was better before they implemented dreamselves" that and urrrrgh
This just in: people have been using the same fucking weapons for years. Hell my character's hammerkind and even I'm getting tired of looking at my WoZ, if Piston Fists get doublespecced into hammer I'm looking forward to giving those a try.
why the fuck would you use piston fists over zilly/fna? zilly/fna gives you all the dps of zilly with fna's stun effect
Piston Fists with the right spec gives you four attacks per round; with the right buffs, I've seen people stunlock fucking Greater Shoggoths. I mean yeah it takes longer to kill them that way and I probably wouldn't do it in a group but for solo? Fuck yes I would get myself a pair of PFs.
Originally Posted by Skaian Mike
Originally Posted by autonomousArctangent
Originally Posted by Gamblin' Man
Originally Posted by Sburbian
Originally Posted by deathApproaches
Originally Posted by hella jeff
Originally Posted by thaSnazzle
well this is just fucking great. I finally had enough grist to build a Ribbitar and right after I made the damn thing, this fucking preview goes up on the forums. why the fuck would anyone build an SR when Chain Sawd is obviously going bladekind next update, costs half the grist to build and a quarter of the boondollars to buy at the auction house, and has better dps to boot?
because alchemizing a double-bladed scarlet ribbitar needs TWO of them, and as far as anyone can tell that's still one of the best weapons in the game for doublebladekind users.
Snazzle's got a point though, some things are going to be completely pointless after this update. What diceKind user is going to trust the Flourite Octet when they can dip into hammerKind and make the more reliable Roll For Initiative? Who the hell is even going to allocate clawKind if its entire catalog is covered by gloveKind? Or halberdKind when every halberd can be equipped with spearKind or axeKind?
No way they're making RFI dicekind, it's just a hammer with d20s for heads. At its core it's still just a big hammer.
It wouldn't surprise me if they folded some specibi into others though. I could see all clawkind users being switched to gloveKind, and halberdkind revoked and its users given a free strife allocation.
"just a hammer with d20s for heads"? the fuck you say? RFI kicks ass and its random damage bonuses are all kinds of fun, shit's like using G&W in Smash Bros
spoken like a true noob who never had the talent to go for a zilly. you WOULD like RFI you stupid bastard
(USER WAS INFRACTED FOR THIS POST)
This is your final warning, AA. One more crack like that and I swear you're out of here.
Notes:
First one to catch all the references gets a shiny boondollar
Seriously though, treating Sburb like an actual videogame and imagining what Sburb forums are like is all kinds of fun
Hmmm, the only reference I recognized was the PSO one.
Originally Posted by Megafire
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3* Play?
