MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands

[Stormrunner]

I just want to let you know I read everyone's comments and I'm glad my little fiction had an impact on you all.
I'm working on the next story from John's point of view already which is why I didn't comment last night.

On that note, I also want to say that I do read all of your fictions (I worry I will say something stupid if I comment though...kinda like now) - so the fact you took the time to read mine and enjoyed it means a lot to me.

And now that Karkat pulled Sollux out of the computer room in the comic I feel I have a bit more freedom when it comes to the Karkat POV that I plan to do later (not sure if that is a good thing).

And now, I'm rambling, I apologize.

Thank you so much again .

[Twigwise]

Wow. There were two AMAZING First Pwnsts on the last page. Awesome!

Also baww, Kerensky, it was valid speculation at the time! ;-; (Heh, J/K, I'm just glad someone read it amid that tidal wave of almost-exactly-the-same-fics)

[lucidSeraph]

Rainbow's End by lucidSeraph
+ =C
*Next line: "Well, g00d thing I have fucking TIME P0WERS! Dave! Let's D0 THIS SHIT!

... I should write this :|a DAVE AND ARADIA SAVE THE UNIVERSE, THEN THEY START A BAND

also it took all my power not to put in a line something to the effect of "Every0ne's dead Dave."

Khemia tis Nigredo by ludicSeraph
*aka Best Dave Takes The Fore
+brown!Vriska!! Are these Red Dead Virgo trolls? That'd make this officially the best Homestuck Remix in existence.

Yes. Yes they are I'm trying to figure out a way to work Red!Terezi in as well. Posssibly Indigo!Aradia, maybe.

+"That yellow turtle she left behind is very slowly throwing a fit. "
+There are so many excellent bits here that I'm just going to wrap them under this single plus.
?? Is Dave going to become a Black Knight (only a flesh wound) or a Dark Knight (WHRRRS RRRCHLLL! TRRRL MRR JRRRKRRRRRR!!!!!)

DAMMIT I MEANT NEITHER OF THOSE REFERENCES whoops cannot unsee


re: Fanfic being a silly pursuit

I'm real happy for you and Imma let you finish, but HP Lovecraft wrote the best fanfiction of all time. OF ALL TIME.

Which is Seraph-speak for, "HP Lovecraft, Ray Bradbury, and Issac Asimov began their careers writing what was essentially thinly disguised fanfiction for pulp magazines."

So you guys are kind of in good company (Fuck, Lovecraft's stuff is almost EXPLICITLY fanfiction of "The King in Yellow" and most of Edgar Allen Poe's work. And then he told his broseph August Dereleth to write fanfic of HIS work, so the Lovecraftverse is a giant fanfiction circlejerk.)


[/seraphisafandomhistorian,whathashedonewithhislife]

[mythmonster2]

I am burnt out of HO, really.

Here's HO: NG for all that matters.

Bah, why has noone commented on this? It's hilarious, especially Tavros Nitricycle and Open Serket/ Closed Serket. The second one doubly do because we just learned about that a couple of days ago in Physics. I'm afraid the Aradia one either went over my head or I'm looking too much into it, though.

[Kerensky287]

Also baww, Kerensky, it was valid speculation at the time! ;-; (Heh, J/K, I'm just glad someone read it amid that tidal wave of almost-exactly-the-same-fics)

I'll read it when I'm sane.

re: Fanfic being a silly pursuit

I'm real happy for you and Imma let you finish, but HP Lovecraft wrote the best fanfiction of all time. OF ALL TIME.

Which is Seraph-speak for, "HP Lovecraft, Ray Bradbury, and Issac Asimov began their careers writing what was essentially thinly disguised fanfiction for pulp magazines."

So you guys are kind of in good company (Fuck, Lovecraft's stuff is almost EXPLICITLY fanfiction of "The King in Yellow" and most of Edgar Allen Poe's work. And then he told his broseph August Dereleth to write fanfic of HIS work, so the Lovecraftverse is a giant fanfiction circlejerk.)


[/seraphisafandomhistorian,whathashedonewithhislife]

Wow, I honestly didn't know that.

I mean, fanfiction gets a bad reputation because 90% of it is "WHAT IF NARUTO MET INUYAHSA!!!!!! (answer: YAOI happen)" but I've read a lot of really good, professional-quality stuff (Forward and Methods of Rationality come to mind) so while I still feel silly for treating it like a common pursuit, I recognize that there's a lot of great stuff available. A lot of it is right here in this very forum.

I still take great pride though, when someone reads over my shoulder, asks "What the hell, are you reading Twilight?" and I can honestly respond "No, I'm reading some damn good Twilight FANFICTION."

[lucidSeraph]

I didn't know it either till I started doing research into the history of fandom for a book I'm writing (about fan conventions). Apparently back in the day, fanzines functioned almost EXACTLY like slow-motion message boards, people had flamewars, memes, and shock pictures. Hell, I actually opened up a 1939 edition of Weird Tales and lo and behold, smack in the middle: Conan fanfic in poem form.

So fanfic's not a new thing, really; it's just that it's 1. become much more visible and 2. you can find a lot more terrible fanfic and also pr0n because the pulps at least had an editor looming over the slush pile going "No... no... OH GOD WHAT" whilst on the internet any thirteen year old coolkid can post whatever he wants.

But I like to wave the facts at both people who are self-conscious about fanfiction and fanfic detractors. And if the detractors start bitching about how "Oh well those sci fi pulps were shit too" then I can go "Also Shakespeare's work is 90% fanfiction. HAMLET IS FANFICTION OF AN OBSCURE DANISH HISTORY PLAY. ROMEO AND JULIET IS FANFICTION OF A NOT AT ALL OBSCURE POPULAR ENGLISH PLAY/FOLKTALE. HENRY IV - V IS RPF!!! SO IS THE SCOTTISH PLAY AND RICHARD III! WHAT NOW."

Oh and all Arthurian mythology is a giant fanfic clusterfuck of people just writing their own spins on a popular legend. It's comparable to Star Wars today, except nobody could blame the director for XYZ derivative thing they didn't like because nobody knows who STARTED the Arthurian mythos.


shakespeare was a total hack guys.

[Kassiopeia]

but yeah what Seraph said, basically. With regard to quality of content, I don't think I need to link anyone around here to Sturgeon's Law, since there's a pretty high probability you're all intimately familiar with TVTropes and all its ways, but it is definitely applicable here. Condemning the whole genre/medium/whatever-this-is on the basis of cut-and-paste-the-names Harry Potter smut is like condemning the entirety of drawing on the basis of the horrible shit that you see on the Deviantart frontpage daily.

that said I consider incredibly bad fanfiction to be amongst the greatest amusements the internet has to offer. My Immortal will never get old. Never.

(also particularly amused by analogy of Arthurian mythology to fandom. Imagine Chretien de Troyes and Malory and the Gawain poet sitting around bitching about how their stuff didn't get enough comments )

[Jim Groovester]

Well deserved, truly.

One shot or not, I'd love to see more of this.

@Jim: You get back here. You get back here and don't stop writing until we tell you.

"Going to unlock him" is perfect Problem Sleuth vernacular. How did no one come up with it at the time? Great read.

Wow. There were two AMAZING First Pwnsts on the last page. Awesome!

Thank you all very much. And don't worry, there's going to be more. I can't say exactly when it will show up, though.

[SkaianRedeemer]

@Wigmund: Worst of all, Thread 4's locked now, so there's really nothing you can do here.


Arthurian fandom of the time is probably the best analogue to modern fandom, what with the LARPing and the entire cycle pretty much being fanfic, but my favourite examples remains that of an Assyrian (?) king writing himself into the role of Gilgamesh on a few frescos or something. Details escape. Self-insert fanficion from the Bronze Age! Uggggh.

EDIT: I keep trying to write a pesterlog between Gilgamesh and Ishtar but it's just not happening.

[Path]

Jim. Jim. Jim I am in love with you, please internet-marry me. Or at least produce more Sleuth fic.

[SeptimusMagistos]

And now for something more anthropocentric:

Chapter Four: The Bureaucracy At Work

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CTT RIGHT NOW opened memo on board Doomed Is Just A Word.

CTT: Hello and welcome to the first meeting of the Pink Wiggler Subcommittee.
CTT: As the name (which was, incidentally, chosen within the main Committee by a majority vote) implies, this meeting is mostly to discuss problems specific to the human session.
CTT: However, any of our Alternian allies who feel they have something relevant to add are welcome to do so at any time.
CTT: Obviously the cat is out of the bag concerning the Tumor.
CTT: I had believed the fact that it is a bomb with more than enough power to destroy our session in its entirety should have been kept confidential.
CTT: Unfortunately that is no longer an option.
CURRENT ectoBiologist [CEB] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CEB: don’t worry about it rose!
CEB: sure it’s kind of scary to try to remove such a big bomb from anything but knowing what it is will just mean that i’ll be really careful.
CEB: not that i wasn’t already going to be extra-careful.
CTT: I take it then you do not share Karkat’s belief that whatever we do, the bomb will inevitably go off and destroy us all.
CURRENT turntechGodhead [CTG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CTG: okay take it from someone who knows:
CTG: it doesn’t work like that
CTG: just because the timeline is doomed doesn’t mean that everyone is going to die at any given moment
CTG: we survived for months bumming around lands and pwning imps and shit
CTG: and we could maybe have survived for years
CTG: i don’t even know if being in a doomed timeline necessarily means everyone is going to die at all
FUTURE turntechGodhead [FTG] 12 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FTG: i bring you greetings from the future
CTG: what is the future like?
FTG: pretty fucking sweet
FTG: we all have jetpacks and flying cars
FTG: and there are robots everywhere
FTG: there is one guy with so many robots he’s like a dude on robot butler island
FTG: and also i guess robot dedicated relationship island
FTG: he says i have to mentions that.
CTG: cool
FTG: yeah
FTG: anyway we’ve been sort of kicking that question around here in the subcommittee
FTG: the troll girl has more of what you’d call empirical evidence than we do
CURRENT turntechGodhead [CTG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CTG: which troll girl
CTG: come on dave you’re embarrassing us here
FTG: yeah obviously it’s going to be the troll girl with the time powers and the sweet turntables
CTG: get with the program
CTG: okay cool
CURRENT gardenGnostic [CGG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CGG: guys guys guys!!!!
CGG: and rose too i guess
CTT: Yes, Jade, what is it?
CTT: And if at all possible, could you express your answer in a saccharine tone using a great many emoticons?
CGG: i think that might be doable
CGG: the subcommittee of space and frogs has just finished its first meeting
CGG: and we think we know how to open a way between the two sessions
CGG: other than by traveling through the endless expanse of the void filled with infinite horrorterrors slumbering darkly throughout eternity i mean!
CTT: What an odd way to phrase that.
CGG: feferi was invited as a guest speaker
CGG: she’s friendly, but I think she likes tentacles just a little bit too much.
CTG: whoa there
CTG: that is not the kind of thing you want to say in front of the guy raised by the president of the puppet dong enthusiasm club
CTG: seriously jade
CGG: heh heh sorry Dave!
CGG: but anyway while we can’t get this working yet
CGG: we think we know the theory!
CGG: so maybe soon we’ll be able to visit them or they’ll be able to visit us.
CEB: that sounds fun!
CEB: i guess if you’re going to be doomed, you might as well be doomed together.
CTT: Truly an inspiring statement for the modern age.
CEB: haha!
CEB: anyway, dave, karkat’s been pestering me to tell you again to make sure to keep a close eye on the ring.
CEB: we wouldn’t want it to fall into the wrong hands!
CTG: oh crap i completely forgot
CTG: not that it’s all my fault mind you
CTG: i mean with all this stuff going on how can a dude be expected to keep track of something like a magic ring capable of giving its wielder the power to set a planet on fire
CTG: and also i guess making them crippled and blind
CTG: so you got it?
CTG: yeah i got it dude
CTT: How goes the effort to recover the other ring?
CGG: um…
CGG: i don’t really see it anywhere!
CGG: i’ve looked all over with those goggles, but i think the rings might be shielded from them.
CGG: or something.
CEB: it’s okay, jade, we’ll find it!
CEB: i’ll make sure to keep my eyes open for it when i drop in on skaia
CEB: you know – to get rid of the bomb.
CTT: I believe that takes care of most of the current business.
CTT: We should probably wrap this up. Jade and I need to get to the Subcommittee On First Guardians.
CEB: yeah and i need to get to the subcommittee on cultural artifacts.
CEB: there are too many subcommittees.
CEB: bluh!
FUTURE grimAuxiliatrix [CGA] 0:07 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
CGA: I Confess I May Have Grown Somewhat Overenthusiastic In Setting Up Subcommittees
CGA: However The Problem Before Us Is Broad Enough That I Felt We Had Something To Gain By Attacking It From Multiple Perspectives
CEB: don’t worry, kanaya, it’s all good.
CEB: complaining about something that isn’t so bad is just something humans do sometimes.
CGA: Oh
CGA: I Will Add It To My Ever Growing List Of Humorous Insincerity Used By Humans
CEB: all right, later.
CTG: see ya
CGG: bye everyone!!!
CTT: Until next we meet.

CTT closed memo.

I am really loving this. I like seeing an optimistic take on a doomed timeline and man I hope it stays that way

One thing, when Kanaya joins the chat at the end you introduce her as FUTURE grimAuxiliatrix, but her tag is CGA. Just a heads-up!

Whoops. Thanks.

[AProcrastinatingWriter]

So uh, I made an account so I could post this thing I wrote.

This story takes place in the trolls' session, not long after the recent failed revival attempts. I think I wrote it back when the latest update was WV chugging Barbasol. I wrote it for a certain imageboard's Comics and Cartoons board (hence my name) in response to another post there, where it was pretty much ignored.

But I thought maybe you guys might like it, so here it is. I know there are probably a few things wrong with it (hahahaha a few, I just hope I didn't completely ruin everything), so I want honest feedback. This is not code for "be gentle", if it sucks then it sucks.

Anyway. Enough talking about the story, you can read my comments after it.

If even one person reads and enjoys this, I will have considered writing it to not have been a colossal waste of time.

Knight of Blood

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Karkat froze, if only for an instant, when he heard the soft "shoosh" of someone stepping through the transportalizer. He couldn't show fear, not now, even if he'd never been so fearful in his life. Not to that damned clown. Gamzee would be certain to pick up on it, and it would be all he needed to end Karkat's life.

He gripped the sickle tighter in his right hand, blocked from the intruder's view by his body, facing away from the transportalizer, toward the horn pile which Feferi's body lay atop. Karkat had lost two friends to a madman today; he would not allow any more. He would wait for the perfect moment to strike, then end it with one slash to the subjugglator's throat. It was the perfect plan.

But then, Karkat had never been capable of sticking to the plan when shit hit the fan. For every brave front he tried to show with his typical raging fuckass demeanor, he was quick to panic, and this would be no different. When he heard the quiet "pap" of footsteps approaching him, his hands shook, grasping his weapon tighter still, and when he heard the barely-perceptible honk, terror struck the boy. But this time was different.

Alternians are no different from us Earthlings in that they possess the "fight or flight" instinct. Indeed, any species must have it in order to survive. Standing his ground was not Karkat's typical first choice; he backed away slowly when Eridan blinded his friend Sollux, stared wide-eyed as he slew Feferi, and froze in his tracks when he detonated the matriorb and slaughtered Kanaya. Perhaps these events were the catalyst for what Karkat would do next.

Upon hearing the horn, Karkat screamed, terrified. Enough of his comrades had fallen today, and he would do his best to prevent any more from being killed, even if it meant putting himself in harm's way. In a fraction of a second, it was over; he swung wildly, nicking the intruder's neck. Not an immediately fatal wound, but blood loss would kill the attacker soon enough.

Almost immediately, however, Karkat sensed something was wrong. The intruder cried out upon being struck; was that voice really Gamzee's? Something clattered against the wall... a horn? Perhaps it was stepped on, making that awful noise? And even though the lab was dimly lit and the body was face-down, Karkat could tell the troll sprawled out on the floor couldn't possibly be that damned clown. The horns were the wrong shape, that wasn't Gamzee's hairstyle, those were... oh God, no. No. Not her.

His eyes darted from the red shades on the ground to his blade. He held it to the only light source in the room, and... no, no, no, no no no no. That's not... that's...

Teal. The liquid dripping from the tip of the sickle was teal. Stunned, he fell to his knees in disbelief, tears welling in his eyes.

No, this is not the time to sit and cry, a voice inside told him. It's not too late. You can still make this right. Karkat wasn't sure if he could believe it, and he didn't know much about treating a wound of this nature, but he had to try, for her sake.

Terezi rolled face-up and met Karkat's stare, and at first she feared the worst. Someone (Vriska, obviously, but it was more fun to pretend the guilty party could be someone else) had sent Tavros hurtling to his death at the bottom of a pit with his own lance through his chest. Terezi found Karkat in the lab surrounded by bodies; had Karkat snapped too? Had his anger finally taken over? The face she saw, however, was not one of rage, but one of remorse, reminding her that she knew, perhaps better than anyone, that Karkat's rage was just a cover.

He had work to do. Proper bandages were not something that could be located in a timely manner, and time was not on his side. Using his scythe, Karkat made a circular cut and removed half of the right sleeve of his shirt. In doing so, he accidentally cut himself, revealing his bright red blood to anyone who might have happened upon the scene.

He didn't care.

Karkat applied his makeshift bandage, tight enough to combat the bleeding but loose enough so as not to choke her. He worked quickly; he had to, if she was to survive this accident. Sollux was Karkat's best friend; Kanaya, his moirail. But Terezi... Terezi was something more to him, and the thought of losing her was simply not an option. Long ago, he had waxed red for her, but it was never something he could bring himself to admit, even after their "incident." How silly it seemed to him now, now that they were surrounded by dead comrades and threatened by at least two madmen, that knowledge of their incident spreading was one of his worst fears. Maybe he would never have heard the end of it, maybe his friends would have given him such a ribbing for it, but he could take it, if he knew Terezi would not pay the ultimate price for his foolish mistake.

His work complete, Karkat held Terezi in his arms and prayed to whatever god would listen that the improvised dressing would be enough to keep her from bleeding out. Terezi tried to speak, but Karkat urged her to remain quiet, that she needed to save her strength. Karkat had much on his mind, however, and some things needed to be said, even if the conversation were to be one-sided due to a grievous injury.

A profuse apology, made, and accepted.

An acknowledgment of one's self being a raging fuckass, spoken aloud. A smile, elicited. An oath to become a better man, promised. An acknowledgment, nodded.

A silence, followed. A moment of existing, uncaring of the dangers that plagued the both of them, enjoyed.

A bond, strengthened.

A longer silence. A statement, considered. A confession, made.

A reply, silent. A girl, comatose. A boy, shaken.

Karkat's fingers slid from Terezi's hand to her wrist. As he feared, her pulse was very weak. The all-too-familiar feeling of failure was too much for him to handle again, and he swore aloud at himself for allowing it to happen again, to the girl he loved, of all people. He had done all he could do, and it still wasn't enough. Terezi was going to die, and all Karkat could think of was that it was entirely his fault. He screamed, begged, pleaded for her to return to life, just long enough to tell her his true feelings. He bargained with no one in particular to let him take her place instead, because really, he deserved it more than her. He wept when his pleas fell on deaf ears.

But... was there really nothing that could be done? A thought occurred to him.

The Knight of Blood. SGRUB had given him and every member of his session a title. Some were meaningful; Aradia was the Maid of Time, and thus she could freely travel through it. Gamzee was the Bard of Rage, and he had delivered the most ferocious attack of the entire group to the Black King. Others seemed almost arbitrary; how the hell was Equius an Heir of Void? What even IS a Sylph of Space?

Karkat's title had been the Knight of Blood, and his planet, the Land of Pulse and Haze. During his session, he believed both the title, as well as the planet covered in his own blood, to be the game's way of mocking him, until he met Noir and discovered his bright red blood was not so unique. While most of his party gained powers in line with their titles, Karkat never seemed to progress in any way beyond being able to hit things harder with his sickles.

But perhaps there was something he missed.

Karkat concentrated on the task at hand. Terezi's teal blood was still leaking from the gash in her neck, and something had to be done about this. He would not lose another this day.

Desperately trying to accomplish something, anything, that would save her life, when Karkat's hands passed over Terezi's wound, he felt something. Nothing physical, more like a warmth or a jolt, almost imperceptible at first, but when his hands returned to the position it became stronger. His fingers combed the air above the cut, searching for the exact spot, and was rewarded with an unmistakable tingling in his fingertips. He had no idea what would happen next, but inaction would kill her. He wondered if he could just sort of reach over, and...

The sensation was quite painful at first. A feeling of something sharp penetrating each of his fingertips, as crimson arcs leapt from them to no point in particular in the air, where they dispersed. Such a feeling was startling to begin with, but Karkat slowly realized what was happening, and began to focus. The title of Knight of Blood, as fate would have it, DID come with special powers, and now that he knew of their existence, Karkat put them to work. The red streams that disappeared into nothing at first gradually came under the Knight's control, and made contact with the Seer's wound. Now that he knew the extent of his abilities, Karkat's newfound confidence grew. Today... today, he would save a life, and for the first time in as long as he could remember... Karkat smiled.

Hours later, Terezi awoke. She sniffed at her surroundings. Karkat slumped against the far wall, sound asleep, against his own orders. Otherwise, they were alone in the room. Her throat was still sore, but it seemed Karkat had managed to stop the bleeding. Her terminal beeped in the corner of the room. Terezi made her way to it, and discovered a message.

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] --

CG: TEREZI.
CG: I DON'T KNOW WHEN YOU'LL GET THIS MESSAGE.
CG: HELL, I MIGHT WALK OVER TO YOUR COMPUTER AND JUST CLOSE THIS FUCKING THING BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN SEE IT.
CG: KIND OF PLANNING ON SPILLING MY PROTEIN CHUTE HERE.
CG: OH HELL, IF I CAN'T SAY THIS NOW, I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO.
CG: ANYWAY
CG: I WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT
CG: I FINALLY DID IT
CG: I FIGURED OUT WHAT A KNIGHT OF BLOOD CAN DO.
CG: IT'S KIND OF HOW I SAVED YOU, ACTUALLY.
CG: LONG STORY SHORT, THERE'S A LOT OF MY MUTANT CANDY RED SLOSHING AROUND INSIDE YOU WITH YOUR TEAL BLOOD.
CG: I'M PRETTY SURE YOU'RE SQUEALING WITH FUCKING DELIGHT AT THE THOUGHT OF IT, BUT PLEASE TRY TO KEEP IT DOWN.
CG: GIVING YOU SO MUCH OF MY BLOOD HAS MADE ME SO FUCKING TIRED.
CG: AND I WAS TIRED BEFORE, SO GODDAMN IT, I'M TAKING A NAP
CG: AND ANYONE WHO GIVES ME SHIT ABOUT IT CAN HELP THEMSELVES TO A NUTRITIONAL PLATEAU SHOVELED HIGH WITH A STEAMING HELPING OF "GET THE FUCK OFF MY BACK"
CG: BUT ANYWAY.
CG: I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HEARD WHAT I SAID
CG: WHEN I THOUGHT I'D LOST YOU.
CG: BUT IF YOU DID
CG: I WANT YOU TO KNOW SOMETHING.
CG: I MEANT EVERY GODDAMN WORD OF IT.
CG: YOU MEAN THE ENTIRE FUCKING UNIVERSE TO ME.
CG: AND I'M SORRY THINGS HAD TO GET SO BAD BEFORE I COULD ADMIT IT.
CG: I LOVE YOU, TEREZI PYROPE.
CG:

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] --

At this, Terezi simply smiled, made her way over to Karkat sleeping, kissed him gently on the forehead, and laid in his arms. It woke him up, of course, but it was okay. He gripped Terezi's hands and she responded in kind. There may be a couple of psychopaths on this asteroid, but it didn't matter. If destiny said Karkat had to die now, he had no regrets. For the first time in his life, Karkat was at peace.

---BONUS EPILOGUE--

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To your right stands EQUIUS, who has volunteered to stand guard alongside his COMBAT ROBOTS. He alone read and considered FUTURE KARKAT'S MEMO, and his preparations are finally complete. CULLING is one thing, but MURDER is unbecoming of a highblood. The thought of dealing JUSTICE to his blood superiors is enough to make him SWEAT PROFUSELY. He reaches for his stack of EXTRA-ABSORBENT TOWELS.

To your left is the TRANSPORTALIZER. Attached to it is a NOTE you have already read.

>Enter TRANSPORTALIZER.

You step into the TRANSPORTALIZER leading to the LAB, having read the sad news on the NOTE left beside it warning you of the DANGER. Yeah, ERIDAN is a bit of a douchebag and you could totally see him doing what the NOTE claimed, but GAMZEE flipping out like that? No way. Something's amiss.

==>

You transportalize into the LAB. The BODIES have been cleared. SOLLUX is bandaged up and unconscious but is otherwise alive. A COUPLE sits together, asleep, against the FAR WALL. You squint to see who they are, and your eyes widen in sudden realization and excitement. You quickly EXIT the LAB. This is no time for you to intrude, and in any case, you now have WORK to do.

>Do WORK.

You quickly make your way down to the lower levels of the COMPLEX. Finding the right place for it took a long time, and this was the only suitable space. It was a big project, but with so much space available, it had to be done. Your new SHIPPING WALL was finally completed not even an hour ago. The HUGE WALLS of the COMPLEX allowed for large, detailed portraits of all possible redrom ships. It is in every way superior to the one in your old hive, and it awaits its first update.

KARKAT TEREZI. You dip a brush into the RED PAINT and circle the appropriate panel of the SHIPPING GRID. Not exactly what you were hoping for, but it's a happy occasion for mutual friends, and you couldn't be happier for them. A pale friendship becoming flushed is one of your favorite themes, after all. A warm, fuzzy feeling overtakes you and you can't help but grin like an idiot.

You consider reaching for the TEAL PAINT to reflect TEREZI's apparent injury, but decide against it. Having to recolor all of ARADIA'S panels again took long enough, and accounting for recent events will consume even more time.

--end.--

My thoughts (shit you don't care about):

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So yeah, I wrote this for /co/ after someone posted something like "man it's gonna be sad when Karkat accidentally cuts Terezi's throat in a fit of terror!" and I was all "but but but but he's gonna save her with his ill-defined Knight of Blood powers, right? All crying and confessing his feelings and oh god I'm dangerously close to writing fanfiction so I'm gonna stop now." But obviously I didn't stop now, because in a moment of weakness (also it was like 3 in the morning) I wrote this.

So there you have it, I went into this with the attitude that writing fanfiction was the lamest thing ever. Actually I still kind of think that! But that's not being fair. Writing this was actually kind of a challenge, since writing someone else's characters convincingly and in-character isn't the easiest thing ever! To be honest I still don't think my dumb little story is as good as it could be. I just hope everyone's not TOO out of character. Case in point, my favorite bit is the Trollian log near the end of the main story, but is this something Karkat would actually say, given the events? I think so. But I could be wrong. Also the whole "Equius standing guard" thing in the epilogue is kind of a lame explanation as to why none of the murdering assholes showed up, but it there it is anyway. Here's hoping I did it right.

Karkat's Knight of Blood powers. After a recent rereading of Homestuck from beginning to end, I noticed that Karkat didn't seem to exhibit any unusual abilities during his session. Knowing my luck it was something that I missed both times I've gone archive digging, but I took his title and gave him a bit of a twist. When you hear "knight of blood" you certainly wouldn't think of much else but destructive abilities, so I decided that giving him the ability to heal people with his own blood could be a good fit. After rereading that part of my story I'm actually not as satisfied with it as I was when I wrote it; it looks like Karkat is doing some kind of gross magical blood transfusion, and he was certainly supposed to believe that's how it worked, but I imagined it as more like an RPG ability that lets you sacrifice your own HP to heal an ally. Of course, being the Knight of Blood lets him regenerate his own blood fairly quickly, but I'm rambling about the dumbest thing now and nobody wants that.

In conclusion, I had more fun writing this than I thought I would, and I hope at least one of you enjoys it. Also, as a final aside, the epilogue still makes me grin like a doofus. I like to think I relate more to Karkat; as my favorite troll, I see a bit of myself in him. But in the end, I am Nepeta. She's me.

@Stormrunner: congratulations, I no longer hate Vriska, thanks to you. Excellent work.

That was really good. It's a shame you think fan-fiction is so lame, because you write it well. (I kid, I kid...)

Only problem is, now I'm beating myself up because I missed my opportunity to make a good first impression in this topic, and then you came in making a good first impression on the entire forums. RRRRRRAAAAAAAAEEEEGGGGG at self. Le sigh.

[Jim Groovester]

Jim. Jim. Jim I am in love with you, please internet-marry me. Or at least produce more Sleuth fic.

Yes.

I mean, to more PS fics.

I, uh, need more time to think about the proposal.

[Wigmund]

@Wigmund: Worst of all, Thread 4's locked now, so there's really nothing you can do here.

Thankfully I can edit the story because it's on the TrollCops AU thread. It's just waiting until the 9th to do so.
As for the locked fuck-ups, I can always just transfer them to AO3 and edit them there and change up links in my sig when that returns.

[Path]

As long as you use the time for writing PS fics.

= = =

On a related topic, I have a question re: appropriateness of fic, which mod do I ask, or do I just post this here and wait for someone to get back to me before posting fic?

[Wigmund]

I think you can ask any mod, but Lexxy's the one who reigns over the art forums.
Either that or you could post the fic elsewhere and provide a link here if you're worried about appropriateness.

[lucidSeraph]

As long as you use the time for writing PS fics.

= = =

On a related topic, I have a question re: appropriateness of fic, which mod do I ask, or do I just post this here and wait for someone to get back to me before posting fic?

PM Lexxy. If you are iffy on a fic, NEVER POST IT HERE FIRST, it can get you jailhammered like Wigmund.

[Decker]

As long as you use the time for writing PS fics.

= = =

On a related topic, I have a question re: appropriateness of fic, which mod do I ask, or do I just post this here and wait for someone to get back to me before posting fic?

Lexxy is usually the goto mod for that.

Edit: Damn you Seraph and Wigmund

[Doodled]

Review time now.

I do believe I have died laughing, and I am actually my dream self. Gog-DAMN you're hilarious...

So uh, I made an account so I could post this thing I wrote.

This story takes place in the trolls' session, not long after the recent failed revival attempts. I think I wrote it back when the latest update was WV chugging Barbasol. I wrote it for a certain imageboard's Comics and Cartoons board (hence my name) in response to another post there, where it was pretty much ignored.

But I thought maybe you guys might like it, so here it is. I know there are probably a few things wrong with it (hahahaha a few, I just hope I didn't completely ruin everything), so I want honest feedback. This is not code for "be gentle", if it sucks then it sucks.

Anyway. Enough talking about the story, you can read my comments after it.

That.

Was.

Beautiful.

firstpwnst.gif X 9001.

Seriously.

And now for something more anthropocentric:

Chapter Four: The Bureaucracy At Work

HELL YES.

[Path]

If you are iffy on a fic, NEVER POST IT HERE FIRST, it can get you jailhammered like Wigmund.

I've never been banned from a forum and I live in fear. It's why I've been so scared posting here :P
What is the jailing process like, how does this work? Obviously there's a sort of parole process, I just haven't been able to find out anything about it.

[Decker]

If you are iffy on a fic, NEVER POST IT HERE FIRST, it can get you jailhammered like Wigmund.

I've never been banned from a forum and I live in fear. It's why I've been so scared posting here :P
What is the jailing process like, how does this work? Obviously there's a sort of parole process, I just haven't been able to find out anything about it.

You get jailed for a certain amount of time. You can't edit while you're jailed. Also you can't do some other stuff. I can't remember.

For instance, Wigmund was jailed for a month I believe.

[Wigmund]

You lose your avatar and signature, plus your title changes to "jailed". You also lose the ability to delete/edit your posts and cannot create new threads.

I think most jailings last for a month, but they may last longer depending on how pissed the mod is.
Don't worry, though. I got jailed because I violated a rule that I was responsible for the creation of and I really should have thought before I hit 'post'.

[Decker]

You lose your avatar and signature, plus your title changes to "jailed". You also lose the ability to delete/edit your posts and cannot create new threads.

I think most jailings last for a month, but they may last longer depending on how pissed the mod is.
Don't worry, though. I got jailed because I violated a rule that I was responsible for the creation of and I really should have thought before I hit 'post'.

The stripped suit is dashing though.

[Wigmund]

Damn right, best free outfit I've ever received.

But I'm free on the 9th. So you all can look forward to that

[Path]

Don't worry, though. I got jailed because I violated a rule that I was responsible for the creation of and I really should have thought before I hit 'post'.

Haha, aw jeez.