MSPA Fanfiction V: We're Going to Need More Wands

[linguisticDoctor]

oh God it's been way too long since I've posted here and not just lurked. bluh bluh RL crap.

but I wanted to let you, lantadyme, know that all of Four Little Chords is beautiful, but...but the Dave/Rose bonus from the alt timeline. Oh God my heart.

I'm legitimately fucking teary-eyed. ;_; Good job.

[lucidSeraph]

@lantadyme EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS WAS PERFECT

DAMN

[Domoz]

Unfortunately, I still can't get this whole prose thing to work out. Any criticism and assistance you guys can provide is more than welcome.

Aristocratic Outcast

though ivve been made an outcast i am still loyal to those wwho i wwill nevver see again

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Open Journal Entry #2405

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theres been another fuckin rupture dowwn in the underground tunnels. i dont knoww wwhats causin that entire section of the cavve to suddenly start losin its stability but ivve got to find the source of the problem. or i could just look for another hivve but that kinda movve wwould be dangerous. i cant go out at day cause the humans wwould catch me and i cant go out at night cause kar wwould skin me alivve. i havve no doubts about his ability to carvve me up wwith that scythe of his. makes me wwish i still had my wwand.

i mean dont get me wwrong ive got plenty of skill in science i just cant wwork it into pure raww powwer wwithout my wwand. i can feel the empirical powwer brushin past my fingertips but i still cant focus it into any type of wweapon. that means i still gotta work on that stone dagger ivve been tryin to make. its only takin forevver cause i dont havve any tools. no chisels no hammers no nothin.

i might as well just keel ovver and die cause this aint no fuckin wway for me to livve. i shouldnt havve to hear the screams of the horrorterrors in my sleep. i shouldnt havve to starvve for days at a time in this god damn cavve. i shouldnt havve hear them laughing and playing and havvin a gay old time wwhile i suffer in banishment.

i would end it all right noww but im too hopeful for that. the powwers i had in sgrub carried ovver to this neww universe wwhich is to say that my powwers are still as fuckin useless as evver and are nothin more than a liability. wwhat am i supposed to do wwith hope? wwhat kind of shitty powwer is hope anywway?

maybe ill finish myself off tomorroww but not today. today is my wwriggling day and ivve been meanin to go explorin the edges of the forest. i remember seein a lake up north so i might just head there. heres to hopin that kar hasnt decided to go ahead and take that lake for himself.

the prince of hope
eridan ampora

Eridan threw the journal behind the small outcrop of rocks where he kept his meager belongings and headed for the mouth of the cave. He stepped into the night eagerly. The ratbears wouldn't be active in this area for at least an hour, so he had to move quickly if he wanted to get back before they stole his home.

Eridan began running and soon found himself pushing through the thick underbrush that littered the area. The evening was quickly approaching, which left the forest nice and cool. He loved the feeling of the night's wind at his back and the yielding ground at his feet as he ran through his dominion unrestricted. The forest was his vast, untamed kingdom, and he ruled it as best he could.

The gnarled, twisted trees that towered over him formed nigh-impenetrable canopies that left the land dark and caliginous, which suited him just fine. The simple motions of his arms and legs pumping hydraulically dulled the emotions running through his head. The forest was familiar and the creatures paid him no mind as he dashed past. They knew who their king was. Their simple minds recognized him, and they feared him.

He didn't stop running until he'd reached a small grove near the edge of the forest. Small blue flowers glowed softly at the center of the clearing, its vines poking out of the ground. A breeze brushed past, sending one of their soft petals floating away into the breeze. It seemed to glow bright for a moment, before crumpling and turning into ash. He had only recently learned of the Daku flower's healing properties, but now that he knew where they grew he could harvest them at will. The process was tricky, which required steady hands and ample dexterity. Eridan began approaching the flowers, but stopped when he heard something in the bush to his right. The troll could only watch as a much younger troll leaped over the bushes to his right and trampled all over the flowers, crushing them into a fine dust. A spined hog followed suit, scattering the ashes to the four winds and running after the small figure fleeing from the scene.

"I could use some fuckin assistance over here!" he heard the troll cry out desperately, sending Eridan into action. Spined hogs were dangerous creatures to hunt, but scaring them off wasn't very difficult. He picked up a small stone and ran after the two. He'd caught up to them in no time at all, approaching the hog to its left. As he tackled the beast mid-stride, he felt a few of its spines dig into his arm and side. He pressed his weight on the beast's underbelly and struck, driving the stone into the hog's snout as hard as he could. The creature squealed in pain which prompted Eridan to strike again. He delivered strike after strike with primal viciousness until he was soaked with brown blood.

"Wow..."

Eridan turned lazily to the voice. He stared in amazement. The young troll looked almost exactly like him. Or rather, the troll looked like him before he descended into the shitstorm that was Sgrub. The same horns, the same glasses, the same scarf... he had it all. The troll's voice was a bit more lyrical and his accent less pronounced than his as that age. The little troll gasped at him, touching his own angled horns before pointing at Eridan's.

"Your name is Eridan Ampora, correct?" the younger troll asked slowly. Eridan quirked an eyebrow. This kid knew his name?

"Depends on who wants to know." he responded while pulling the thin spines embedded in his arms.

"My name is Cupid L. Ampora." Eridan froze.

"What?"

"Guessing from your reaction I'm going to say that you are Eridan." Cupid smiled curtly. "Uncle Vantas is going to flip his metaphorical shit when I tell him that I've found you."

It was just a coincidence, right? Yeah, that was it. The whole bodily appearance and name thing was just one big fucking coincidence. Oh god...

"You need to go. Now." Eridan whispered, still reeling from the shock. "You can't be here, with me. Kar could-"

"Could what? He doesn't own me and, if I could be frank for a moment, I don't care what he's going to do or say." Cupid told him blandly. "Besides, I've finally found my father."

"Father? Is that a plant or somethin?"

"Uh, no. It means you are the benefactor of exactly one half of all my genes. Congratulations."

Shit. "So that means... I'm like your ancestor or somethin?"

"Yeah.. sure. Lets go with that." He said, dismissing the conversation with a wave of his hand. They sat there, staring at each other for a few moments uncomfortably. Cupid broke the silence with a loud "Oh!" before reaching into his pack. He produced a white wooden stick engraved with the words "Prince of Hope" on it. He recognized it for what it was instantly.

"Thats-"

"A wand? Why, yes. Yes it is. Care to take it for a spin?" Cupid asked with a grin, tossing it to him. Eridan caught it, feeling the power radiate off of it in waves. It was beautiful...

He stood and raised the wand to the heavens, watching as white light shot forth and lit up the night sky. The forest seemed to glow in response, creatures of all types leaving their homes and calling out to him. He began floating, feeling the power of hope raise him into the air. This new energy was fantastic. He felt better, and dare he say it, more hopeful than ever.

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I'm gonna do a few more of these just to practice. I have a short series in mind, so this was an introduction.

I was inspired to write this after digging through my DnD stuff and finding the character background prompts. One fit so well for an idea that I had that I just had to write it.

H3H3
I really like this but the kid... I really can't help but imagine he looks more like this:

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[Embargo]

Unfortunately, I still can't get this whole prose thing to work out. Any criticism and assistance you guys can provide is more than welcome.

Aristocratic Outcast

though ivve been made an outcast i am still loyal to those wwho i wwill nevver see again

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hide spoiler

Open Journal Entry #2405

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theres been another fuckin rupture dowwn in the underground tunnels. i dont knoww wwhats causin that entire section of the cavve to suddenly start losin its stability but ivve got to find the source of the problem. or i could just look for another hivve but that kinda movve wwould be dangerous. i cant go out at day cause the humans wwould catch me and i cant go out at night cause kar wwould skin me alivve. i havve no doubts about his ability to carvve me up wwith that scythe of his. makes me wwish i still had my wwand.

i mean dont get me wwrong ive got plenty of skill in science i just cant wwork it into pure raww powwer wwithout my wwand. i can feel the empirical powwer brushin past my fingertips but i still cant focus it into any type of wweapon. that means i still gotta work on that stone dagger ivve been tryin to make. its only takin forevver cause i dont havve any tools. no chisels no hammers no nothin.

i might as well just keel ovver and die cause this aint no fuckin wway for me to livve. i shouldnt havve to hear the screams of the horrorterrors in my sleep. i shouldnt havve to starvve for days at a time in this god damn cavve. i shouldnt havve hear them laughing and playing and havvin a gay old time wwhile i suffer in banishment.

i would end it all right noww but im too hopeful for that. the powwers i had in sgrub carried ovver to this neww universe wwhich is to say that my powwers are still as fuckin useless as evver and are nothin more than a liability. wwhat am i supposed to do wwith hope? wwhat kind of shitty powwer is hope anywway?

maybe ill finish myself off tomorroww but not today. today is my wwriggling day and ivve been meanin to go explorin the edges of the forest. i remember seein a lake up north so i might just head there. heres to hopin that kar hasnt decided to go ahead and take that lake for himself.

the prince of hope
eridan ampora

Eridan threw the journal behind the small outcrop of rocks where he kept his meager belongings and headed for the mouth of the cave. He stepped into the night eagerly. The ratbears wouldn't be active in this area for at least an hour, so he had to move quickly if he wanted to get back before they stole his home.

Eridan began running and soon found himself pushing through the thick underbrush that littered the area. The evening was quickly approaching, which left the forest nice and cool. He loved the feeling of the night's wind at his back and the yielding ground at his feet as he ran through his dominion unrestricted. The forest was his vast, untamed kingdom, and he ruled it as best he could.

The gnarled, twisted trees that towered over him formed nigh-impenetrable canopies that left the land dark and caliginous, which suited him just fine. The simple motions of his arms and legs pumping hydraulically dulled the emotions running through his head. The forest was familiar and the creatures paid him no mind as he dashed past. They knew who their king was. Their simple minds recognized him, and they feared him.

He didn't stop running until he'd reached a small grove near the edge of the forest. Small blue flowers glowed softly at the center of the clearing, its vines poking out of the ground. A breeze brushed past, sending one of their soft petals floating away into the breeze. It seemed to glow bright for a moment, before crumpling and turning into ash. He had only recently learned of the Daku flower's healing properties, but now that he knew where they grew he could harvest them at will. The process was tricky, which required steady hands and ample dexterity. Eridan began approaching the flowers, but stopped when he heard something in the bush to his right. The troll could only watch as a much younger troll leaped over the bushes to his right and trampled all over the flowers, crushing them into a fine dust. A spined hog followed suit, scattering the ashes to the four winds and running after the small figure fleeing from the scene.

"I could use some fuckin assistance over here!" he heard the troll cry out desperately, sending Eridan into action. Spined hogs were dangerous creatures to hunt, but scaring them off wasn't very difficult. He picked up a small stone and ran after the two. He'd caught up to them in no time at all, approaching the hog to its left. As he tackled the beast mid-stride, he felt a few of its spines dig into his arm and side. He pressed his weight on the beast's underbelly and struck, driving the stone into the hog's snout as hard as he could. The creature squealed in pain which prompted Eridan to strike again. He delivered strike after strike with primal viciousness until he was soaked with brown blood.

"Wow..."

Eridan turned lazily to the voice. He stared in amazement. The young troll looked almost exactly like him. Or rather, the troll looked like him before he descended into the shitstorm that was Sgrub. The same horns, the same glasses, the same scarf... he had it all. The troll's voice was a bit more lyrical and his accent less pronounced than his as that age. The little troll gasped at him, touching his own angled horns before pointing at Eridan's.

"Your name is Eridan Ampora, correct?" the younger troll asked slowly. Eridan quirked an eyebrow. This kid knew his name?

"Depends on who wants to know." he responded while pulling the thin spines embedded in his arms.

"My name is Cupid L. Ampora." Eridan froze.

"What?"

"Guessing from your reaction I'm going to say that you are Eridan." Cupid smiled curtly. "Uncle Vantas is going to flip his metaphorical shit when I tell him that I've found you."

It was just a coincidence, right? Yeah, that was it. The whole bodily appearance and name thing was just one big fucking coincidence. Oh god...

"You need to go. Now." Eridan whispered, still reeling from the shock. "You can't be here, with me. Kar could-"

"Could what? He doesn't own me and, if I could be frank for a moment, I don't care what he's going to do or say." Cupid told him blandly. "Besides, I've finally found my father."

"Father? Is that a plant or somethin?"

"Uh, no. It means you are the benefactor of exactly one half of all my genes. Congratulations."

Shit. "So that means... I'm like your ancestor or somethin?"

"Yeah.. sure. Lets go with that." He said, dismissing the conversation with a wave of his hand. They sat there, staring at each other for a few moments uncomfortably. Cupid broke the silence with a loud "Oh!" before reaching into his pack. He produced a white wooden stick engraved with the words "Prince of Hope" on it. He recognized it for what it was instantly.

"Thats-"

"A wand? Why, yes. Yes it is. Care to take it for a spin?" Cupid asked with a grin, tossing it to him. Eridan caught it, feeling the power radiate off of it in waves. It was beautiful...

He stood and raised the wand to the heavens, watching as white light shot forth and lit up the night sky. The forest seemed to glow in response, creatures of all types leaving their homes and calling out to him. He began floating, feeling the power of hope raise him into the air. This new energy was fantastic. He felt better, and dare he say it, more hopeful than ever.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

I'm gonna do a few more of these just to practice. I have a short series in mind, so this was an introduction.

I was inspired to write this after digging through my DnD stuff and finding the character background prompts. One fit so well for an idea that I had that I just had to write it.

H3H3
I really like this but the kid... I really can't help but imagine he looks more like this:

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hide spoiler

Probably.

[lantadyme]

Septimus, you are such a trooper for coding all those pesterlogs all the time. :x

Candlelight and Clockwork: All Together Now

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Rain knocks softly against the window glass, as though endlessly seeking entry. A familiar beat is produced. It’s the one Emptiness uses to keep her symphonies in time. And it is promptly interrupted by a flash of light and the arrival of three young teenagers.

John blinks and looks up. “Whoa…hey Dave? Can you put me down?”

Dave grunts his assent, but finds himself unable to move. Suddenly both his shoulders are supporting the weight of an individual. He glances to his left and finds that Rose has maintained her death grip on his arm and is leaning heavily on him. Her eyes are clenched shut and her face is pale, her breath coming in sharp bursts through her nose.

“Hey. Rose. Either you let go, or I drop Egbert. Which is it gonna be?” Dave asks.

Rose sucks in a shuddering breath and straightens. “Of course, John’s wellbeing is the first thing on my mind after something like that.”

“That’s really nice of you Rose, but I think you should be more worried about yourself! You don’t look so good, what’s wrong?” John asks.

Rose rubs her temples. “Your scorn is duly noted, John. To answer your question, it would appear to be unwise for those who are especially familiar with the dark gods to travel through time. I have absolutely no desire to repeat that experience. Ever.”

“Told you they’re pervs. Creepy calamari have no sense of personal space. Never had any problems while time traveling though, and they’re my dream-buddies too,” says Dave.

Rose shrugs. “Maybe it’s because you’re not a seer. Maybe it’s because you’re the Knight of Time. Hell, for all I know, it’s because of those hideously unironic shades you insist on wearing.”

“Hey, don’t knock the shades. You just don’t understand irony.”

“You keep using that word, Strider. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

“Yeah, here I am, guy who lives comfortably ensconced in irony every day, I’ve got no idea.”

“Ensconced, are you? Then surely you must understand how you misuse the word!”

John listens as the two volley arguments and insults back and forth. He slips unnoticed from Dave’s shoulder and sits against the wall, hands behind his head. His eyes dart back and forth as he watches his two friends argue. The sentences carry a hint of cadence, almost as if Rose and Dave are reciting lines from memory. And now that he pays closer attention, they definitely seem to be responding to each other faster than expected. In fact, some of these lines sound awfully familiar...maybe if he just…sort of…

“—comic ironic? It’s at best an example of a classic internet trolling attempt.” Rose is saying.

“And that’s the genius. It—” Dave begins.

“—It’s ironic that I’m trolling at all!” John interrupts. “And then Rose, you were going to say,” And John adopts an exaggeratedly distinguished accent and tilts his nose up at the pair, “That’s hardly ironic, it’s merely childish.”

Dave and Rose stare at John, utterly nonplussed.

“John, how did you know that’s what I was going to say?” Rose asks.

“Yeah bro, you get some crazy psychic powers with your shooshy ones?”

John grins. “No way! You two just have this argument at least once a week, and you always say the same things! I didn’t realize it at first, but I knew I recognized your lines! You always talk to me after you argue, and you say the same things then too. I just didn’t realize it ‘cause I’m not used to hearing your voices!”

Rose blinks and, presumably, so does Dave. They exchange an embarrassed glance with each other.

“No way do we argue that much. Once a month, tops, man,” Dave mutters.

“Nuh-uh. I counted once. Definitely about once a week,” says John.

“This is a revelation as stunning as it is embarrassing,” says Rose. “How about we just continue as we were, and address this some other time?”

“Yeah, let’s move on,” agrees Dave.

John stands shakily, supporting himself against the wall with one hand. “That sounds like a good idea to me, I’m exhausted already.”

Rose scoffs. “Are you implying our shenanigans exhaust you, John?”

“No comment,” John replies, grinning.

Rose rolls her eyes, draws her needlewands from her strife specibus and levels them at John. Before he has a chance to protest, a beam of energy arcs from the tips and surrounds him. John is levitated into the air, supported only by a luminous bubble of transparent gold and blue energy. Rose looks over her shoulder at Dave, who is totally not relaxing from a half-completed lunge of surprise. Paragon of cool, that guy.

“I thought that perhaps I could save you some effort this time. Shall we?” Rose asks innocently.

“Sure, whatever,” Dave says, shrugging.

Rose makes her way out of the room, John trailing behind her like an overgrown, giggling balloon. Rose idly flicks her needlewand downward, and John neatly avoids cracking his skull against the top of the doorframe. Dave returns his Timetables to his sylladex and follows the bizarre spectacle walking—and floating respectively—in front of him. He shrugs. At least now he knows what’s going on this time around. Speaking of which…

As he passes a doorway, Dave reaches a hand through, grabs something and pulls it out without looking. His hand emerges holding another Dave by the arm.

“Need your help, c’mon.” he says.

To his credit, the other Dave doesn’t bat an eye before joining the group. “What’s up?”

“Gonna need an extra pair of fucking sweet shades to help out. Also, time travel. But mostly shades.”

“Yeah, thought so,” says Past Dave.

Ahead, John is exploring the limits of the bubble he finds himself levitated by. He is able to move and rotate freely, but the position of the bubble relative to Rose’s wand never changes without her action. Predictably, he is spinning around, making whooshing noises under his breath. In one of his revolutions, he catches a glimpse of the dual Daves behind him, and stops to get a better look. After gawping for a moment, he smiles brightly and waves.

“Hi Dave!”

Past Dave nods slightly. “’sup?”

Rose looks over her shoulder. “Oh? Have we added another to our entourage? I fear we’ll be overwhelmed soon, John. Will you protect me from the cresting tide of ironic sunglasses and feigned nonchalance?”

“You bet, Rose!” John exclaims, striking a pose with one arm outstretched and both palms splayed. “No way is Team Dave getting through Team Egbert-Lalonde!”

Rose turns fully and raises an eyebrow at John. “I didn’t expect such exuberance, though in hindsight that was probably folly of me. Regardless, the thought is appreciated…though I believe I’d prefer ‘Lalonde-Egbert’, myself.”

John shrugs. “Okay, that’s fine too.”

Past Dave speaks up. “Are you done?”

“Yeah, the two of you can do your weird flirty thing later. We’ve got chumps to nurse, and the ill to tend to,” says Present Dave.

John cocks his head to the side. “Flirty thing? Rose, were we doing a flirty thing?” He asks, turning to Rose.

She merely rolls her eyes, turns and continues walking. “We’re nearly there anyway. The plan was to use the series of rooms behind the blackout curtain, if you recall, to save John’s eyes from unnecessary candy-blindness.”

“Oh, is that what that was for? I thought you set it up because you wanted to be all mystical and spooky!” John says.

“As a matter of fact, I’m rather fond of my Land. Despite my incidental appearance as a dark wizard caricature, I find it somewhat soothing,” Rose replies haughtily. “It was not without some displeasure that I began tearing it apart to learn its secrets.”

“You were tearing it apart? Why?”

Rose sighs. “Because I detest dungeon-crawling, as the game would otherwise insist upon. I decided to simply remove the middle-man and jump straight to the end by bringing the end to me. It’s worked wonderfully so far.”

The four of them approach the curtain hanging in the hallway, and Rose sweeps it aside. As John’s eyes adjust to the darkness, he hears a match flare, and is struck by an odd sense of déjà vu. He turns to his left and sees an open doorway, framing a sitting Rose. She is holding a lit match in her hand and reaching toward a candle on a bedside table. Under the covers in the bed is…himself. He boggles for a moment before he recalls the recent time shenanigans and doesn’t exactly understand, but dubs it unimportant. He waves at Past Rose, who looks up, looks back down, and does a double take before waving back weakly.

Present Rose enters the next room down the hall and lowers John to the floor before releasing him from the needlewands’ energies. The room is entirely bare, save for a lonely end table in the corner.

“Oh man, I bet you were so confused just now Rose!” John exclaims.

“Hm? What are you—oh, do you mean an hour ago-now?” Rose asks.

“Yeah! You were totally surprised!”

“I suppose the realities of time travel hadn’t quite dawned on me at the point. It is certainly strange being privy to knowledge about a single event from multiple perspectives simultaneously, but also in my personal future.” Rose pauses for a moment to process what she said. “I believe I have a little more sympathy for you now Dave.”

“Holy shit Rose, that was almost human sounding of you. What does the shooshy dweeb here do to you in the next hour?” Past-Dave asks.

“Oh dear, you’re right. Quickly, fetch me my crown woven from the solidified tears of the tortured peasantry and my black whisperscepter made of the coagulated cries of the damned before it’s too late!” Rose cries.

“Hey!” John interjects, “I’m here to put a stop to that, remember? And also free you from your dark masters and stuff!”

Present Dave rolls his eyes and motions at Past Dave. The two of them leave the room, unnoticed by Rose or John.

Rose rounds on John, her face eerily calm. “But John, what if I don’t want to be freed? In fact,” she beings, and a toothy grin creeps onto her features, “I think I’d like you to join me.”

“No, Rose! The power of…uh…wind compels you!” John says, holding his hands up defensively.

A breeze stirs in the room, and quickly becomes a localized gale, roaring in the kids’ ears, and overwhelming all other sound. It whips in a circle around Rose, imprisoning her in the eye of the miniature tornado. Her scarf and the ends of her dress whip to and fro, and she clutches her throat in horror and falls to the ground. She claws at the air as the windstorm begins to die down reaches up dramatically.

“Noooo! This isn’t the last you’ve seen of me, Heir!” she hisses.

John is the first to start giggling. Rose lies on the ground, a smile tugging at the edges of her lips, snickering quietly. Rose stands up briefly, crosses to John and sits against the wall next to him.

“That was incredibly silly, John,” she says, a ghost of smile on her face.

John is still giggling. “And it’s definitely proof that you’re free of evil influences! No bad guy could be that silly.”

“I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that you’d be capable of silliness of that magnitude, antagonist or not.” Rose says. “And I must admit, that I was genuinely surprised by the degree of control you wield over the wind.”

“That’s nothing! Those wands you had earlier were awesome! But didn’t you alchemize a better set? The Spikes of Ogloboggoloth or something?”

“The Thorns of Oglogoth, John. And yes, but what of them?”

John rests his elbows on his knees, and leans his head on them, facing Rose. “So why weren’t you using them just now?”

Rose frowns and looks away. “While may give the appearance of blithely disregarding the danger inherent, I am perfectly cognizant of the fact that the Thorns are indeed weapons of darkness. I would be remiss if I allowed harm to come to you, physical or mental, through my indiscretions. Thus my use of the comparatively weaker needlewands on you.”

John points at Rose and grins. “Hah! Told you I’d come free you from your dark masters!”

“You’ve got some work ahead of you yet if that’s your intention. Regardless,” She says, clasping her hands together, “Swoon.” And she slides along the wall toward John. Along the way, she slips, and her head lands squarely on John’s shoulder.

John blushes crimson. “Uh…Rose, uh…” he stutters.

“Yes?” she replies. Her voice is steady, but she is blushing equally fiercely and refuses to back down.

“You’re uh…kinda on my shoulder?”

“So I am. I spent the better part of an hour watching over you; surely you wouldn’t begrudge me a few minutes?” She says, closing her eyes.

John blinks and says, “Oh yeah, I guess that’s fair,” and closes his eyes as well.

Several minutes pass in silence before a thump and a muffled curse from outside the room rouse Rose from her torpor. She looks up and furrows her brow in confusion. Past Dave is walking backward into the room carrying half of a mattress. Past Dave walks further into the room and Present Dave soon appears, carrying the other end of the mattress. The two Daves drop it against wall opposite the doorway and turn to face John and Rose. They exchange a glance, their actions mirroring each other exactly. Present Dave shakes his head and Past Dave shrugs. Past Dave walks out of the room.

“Don’t forget, bro. Twenty-seven minutes,” Dave calls after Past Dave. He doesn’t receive an answer. He shrugs and turns back to John and Rose. “So I guess I don’t get an invitation to Cuddlefest ’09? What’s a guy to do, huh? Stare all forlornly at the happy feelings, Scrooging it up from the window while some freaky ghost shows me what could’ve been if only I weren’t such a colossal douche to everybody all the time?”

Rose says nothing, but raises her eyebrows.

“Don’t answer that.”

Rose rolls her eyes and shuts them again. She hears the sound of Dave crossing the room and sitting heavily on the mattress, the springs gloinking noisily under him. The room is silent after that, save for the creaking of springs and even breaths of a sleeping John.

Rose sighs. “I can feel you staring, Strider. What is it?” She asks without opening her eyes.

“Hey, you’re the one who wanted my help. I’m just hanging out being useful, waiting on your every beck and call like the finest butler on Butler Island.”

The mattress springs creak again and a series of thumps makes its way across the room before fading back into silence at the doorway. There is a short eternity of silence.

“So,” Dave begins, “Either of us going to address the elephant in the room here? Or are we just gonna let it traipse around like its freaky clown handlers accidentally let a mouse into the ring, ignoring the crazy shitstorm going on right in front of us?”

Rose opens her eyes to see what Dave means. She glances at John, down at herself, then back at Dave. Dave nods. Rose shrugs and closes her eyes once more. “Yes, I believe that sounds about right.”

“Yeah, okay. You gonna help me move him onto the mattress? Didn’t haul it in for nothing, you know,” he says.

“Mmmf. Five more minutes.”

**

John awakes later, laying down on something soft this time. He feels much better than he did after his last awakening, but that may be because even a mattress on the ground is better than Dave’s rail-thin shoulder. “Much better” isn’t a huge improvement though; his nose is entirely clogged and serves no purpose, save for the decorative. Mucus is draining down the back of his throat, his headache has returned with a vengeance, and the fever has left him covered in a light sheen of sweat.

Wait, that’s not entirely right. Only half of him feels sweaty and overheated. He feels constricted too, and for a moment he thinks he’s gotten tangled in the sheets, except there are none. He opens his eyes in an attempt to solve the mystery, and discovers an arm that doesn’t belong to him wrapped around his midsection. He turns slightly and discovers that the arm in question belongs to Rose. She’s curled up against his back with one arm wrapped around him. Now that he thinks about it, he can feel her chest rising and falling against his back in time with her breath.

He wonders for a moment how the two of them have escaped Dave’s omnipresent ridicule. For that matter, he feels like he should be more concerned about his current position. Instead he just feels warm and safe.

A sleepy smile crosses John’s face as he closes his eyes again. Maybe this is what god-tier dreams are like. No way this is real…

This is so sweet, man. John and Rose should never stop being in the same room. I await the epilogue!

responses:

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@Ganato: John/Rose is so cute and for some reason I only realized it last week.
@Graven: I'm glad you guys put up with me. This is the first time I wrote something with the forum formatting specifically in mind. <3
@ceruleanTresses: It is just the most ridiculous situation, isn't it? XD
@linguisticDoctor: Sorry for breaking your heart. Calsprite timeline is made of them, though.
@Seraph: THANK YOU! I use your colorcode post every time I do a pesterlog. It is invaluable.

[lucidSeraph]

@Seraph: THANK YOU! I use your colorcode post every time I do a pesterlog. It is invaluable.

I'm actually thinking of making a bbcode one just for these boards; then you won't even have to type the color tags yourself, you can just be like COPY -> PASTE

[lantadyme]

I usually code everything into LJ first and then find/replace it in Word later on, but that would be pretty awesome. (When you have time, I know you're super busy.)

[Kassiopeia]

Lantadyme, that was outstanding as ever. Particularly loved the Rose/Dave because it is so rare to see that these days. Really fantastic work.

[billybobfred]

Second, I just found something that in retrospect should have been obvious. There's a Homestuck page on Fanfiction.net. Put all your works up their please, the world DESERVES to read it.

One thing about FFN is, chatlog fic isn't allowed and the rules-as-written are very strict about that. So no pesterlogs. (The rules-as-enforced might be a different story; I've heard complaints that the mods "don't do anything", for example. I'm not risking it myself, though.)

Given how big a deal pesterlogs are in Homestuck canon, it's probably not a surprise that the Homestuck category on FFN is as pale and shriveled as it is compared to what one might expect of such a large fandom.

[Graven_Image]

Second, I just found something that in retrospect should have been obvious. There's a Homestuck page on Fanfiction.net. Put all your works up their please, the world DESERVES to read it.

One thing about FFN is, chatlog fic isn't allowed and the rules-as-written are very strict about that. So no pesterlogs. (The rules-as-enforced might be a different story; I've heard complaints that the mods "don't do anything", for example. I'm not risking it myself, though.)

Given how big a deal pesterlogs are in Homestuck canon, it's probably not a surprise that the Homestuck category on FFN is as pale and shriveled as it is compared to what one might expect of such a large fandom.

Well, shoot. I guess that kicks the crap out of me joining ever. Indystuck is close to 85% chatlogs.

[lucidSeraph]

Second, I just found something that in retrospect should have been obvious. There's a Homestuck page on Fanfiction.net. Put all your works up their please, the world DESERVES to read it.

One thing about FFN is, chatlog fic isn't allowed and the rules-as-written are very strict about that. So no pesterlogs. (The rules-as-enforced might be a different story; I've heard complaints that the mods "don't do anything", for example. I'm not risking it myself, though.)

Given how big a deal pesterlogs are in Homestuck canon, it's probably not a surprise that the Homestuck category on FFN is as pale and shriveled as it is compared to what one might expect of such a large fandom.

Well, shoot. I guess that kicks the crap out of me joining ever. Indystuck is close to 85% chatlogs.

Dude, that's why we use AO3. They're cool with it AND you can program custom CSS tags for colors.

like seriously I can type in <span class="rose"> and it does the proper text. SAVES MY LIFE for Violetesence.

[Embargo]

Yeah, no FF.net for us. I think it's better this way. While the community is bigger, it's pretty sucky. Catastrophically so.

Besides, don't we have Live Journal and... that AO3QZ thing, not to mention the MSPA Forums themselves. It's confusing enough just bouncing around all of these websites to catch updates on the newest and hottest fics.

[SkaianRedeemer]

The FFn guidelines say no chat "based" entries so a mix might eke by. It probably depends on the mod. Of course, scripts aren't allowed either, which means that if I do risk posting HiHH, no recaps. I'll think about it. I've already gone to half the trouble.

[Decker]

Throwing my lot in with the stay away from FF.net group.

[Nox]

A lot of Authors on that sight put in a disclaimer at the start. Perhaps if you put the fact that your fic is not ALL chatlog, and that chatlogs are a big part of the work in question, it will boost your chances of getting a pass on it.

[apocalypticCritic]

I feel like fanfiction.net tends to be heavily hurt by Sturgeons Revelation. Because it's a much more public site, you get a lot of crap with a few diamonds showing up. Whereas here and at AO3 we are a much smaller group, so we have a lot more really good fics with only a few smudges.

I would avoid FF.N, just because I feel like people would associate our good fics with their not-so-good fics.

[sarasvati]

i would avoid ff.net more because the community isn't there. the thing about fandom is that where each makes their home is kind of unique to that particular fandom. some use ff.net as a central home; some use livejournal. homestuck happens to use ao3! there is pretty much no reason to try to force the community to shift to ff.net when anyone can get an account on ao3 with a little bit of patience.

[RogerMexico]

So I missed a week of lurking at the end of January, and I have just now caught up after having to start on page 70-something of the last thread. It took me about a month, but it was worth it. Damn you guys are prolific writers. Anyway, some comments on stand-outs I encountered:

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Graven: Indystuck is marvelous. I've only played about half the games, but I enjoy it nonetheless. I loved your previous fics, and this is no exception.

Wigmund: Every time I see you post a new fic I flip out a little and then immediately read it. You are by far my favorite author when it comes to "what comes after" stuff. I also love your stuff in the TROLL!COPS thread, which I have been following obsessively.

Mr. James Groovester: You basically came out of nowhere and then blew me away. I was reading through the standard fare of troll shenanigans when suddenly a whole slew of Problem Sleuth fics appeared. "Sapphire of Alternia" is brilliant--I like how you've managed to get so much characterization into a cast that is known for never speaking.

SkaianRedeemer: HiHH is one of my favorite serial fics in the entire span of these five fanfic threads. I wish what you wrote was canon, so I wouldn't have to watch sparkly Kanaya chainsaw Eridan to bits.

Seraph and Embargo: Purple!Dave = best!Dave? No, but it's damn close.

Septimus: You are brilliant. That's all there really is to say on the matter.
and last but not least

anonymousComrade: I know you feel like your fics are shit, but that's only true if that shit is made of pure gold encrusted with gems. I have enjoyed everything you write, and I think the best part is that you don't take this seriously. Bravo.

Anyway, to celebrate finishing over 100 pages of fanfic, I decided to write my own. I ended up pounding out this shit. Let me know if you're all interested in me continuing this: I've got plenty more.

Without further ado I present

RESET

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> Dave: Run

You already are running as fast as you can!

You sprint down the winding alleys of the city's slums with the ease that comes with having made one too many escapes through this area before. You can hear your pursuers behind you, panting as they deperately try to keep up with a quarry that has the dual benefits of youth and not being a lardass. One of them stumbles into a garbage can, upending the receptacle and joining it on the pavement in what you're sure was a spectacular fall. Oh well, no time to look back and gloat. Gotta keep running.

Rounding yet another blind corner, you leap upwards and catch the dangling ladder of a fire escape. Grinning, you pull yourself up and onto the rickety scaffolding--you take a moment to catch your breath before sprinting up the cast-iron stairs and pulling yourself up onto the roof. You peer over the parapet and watch as your idiot pursuers huff and puff past your hiding spot like some sort of retarded steam engine. Another close call, but nothing you couldn't handle. It's been ages since you played that damn game, but gog dammit you've still got it.

Bro would be proud.

That thought has a sobering effect on your previously smug demeanor. You still miss him, even after all this time. You flop onto your back and stare at the stars. The twin moons reflect in the lenses of your ever-present sunglasses, turning one lens green and the other pink. You enjoy the night sky for a while--it is so unlike the starscape you grew up with, you don't think you'll ever get used to it. A small light begins to blink in the corner of your right eye. It takes you a second to realize it's not some distant spaceship orbiting the planet, but rather an alert from your battered old iShades.

Oh shit, looks like someone's trying to contact you.

> Dave: Answer

Oh no. Just because your moirail is trying to contact you doesn't mean you want to deal with their shit right now. You swear to gog, if you have to listen to them right now, you will do an acrobatic fucking pirouette off the...

> Dave: ANSWER GOGDAMMIT

Jegus he's persistent.

crimsonGuerilla [CG] contacted trenchantGallant [TG] at 0216

CG: STRIDER YOU INSUFFERABLE COOLDOUCHE, GET YOURSELF AND YOUR STUPID CURLY HORNS OFF THAT FUCKING ROOF RIGHT NOW.
CG: OR ARE YOU JUST GOING TO LAY THERE AND GIVE THE BOTH OF US AWAY TO A FUCKING SPY SATELLITE?
CG: GODDAMMIT STRIDER ANSWER ME. WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU TO FROLIC AROUND ON THE ROOFTOPS LIKE YOU'RE EQUIUS AT A FUCKING MUSCLEBEAST RANCH
CG: STRIIIIIIIDEEERRRRRR
TG: can it, vantas
TG: and dont insult my horns
TG: they happen to be awesome unlike the nubby pieces of shit that a certain someone tries to pass off as horns
CG: FUCK YOU STRIDER. THEY JUST HAVEN'T DEVELOPED YET.
TG: sure karkat
TG: youre what ten sweeps now
TG: im sure theyll start growing any day now
CG: AS THE LEADER OF THIS LITTLE INSURRECTION I HAVE SOME NEW ORDERS FOR YOU, STRIDER.
CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP.
CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP ARE YOUR ORDERS.
TG: as you command sire
CG: UGH, I'M JUST GOING TO IGNORE THAT AND ASK YOU AGAIN: WHY IN THE NAME OF GOD'S GRUBSAUCE-STAINED WIFEBEATER ARE YOU SITTING ON THAT ROOF?
CG: ARE YOU HOPING FOR THE IMPERIAL LEGIONS TO FIND US? IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE GOING FOR, DAVE?
TG: ill have you know im drawing ironic art of buckets
CG: FUCK YOU.
CG: FUCK YOU FOR PUTTING THAT IMAGE IN MY HEAD.
TG: man you know you like it
TG: ive seen you saving up your caegars
TG: gonna buy yourself a giant bucket and sit in it with jade
CG: STRIDER, TELL ME SOMETHING.
CG: HOW DOES IT FEEL TO WAKE UP EVERY MORNING AND HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE REALIZATION THAT YOU ARE THE MOST HORRIBLE FREAK THAT MOTHER NATURE HAS MANAGED TO VOMIT OUT OF HER LEAFY, DECAYING PROTEIN CHUTE?
CG: DO YOU ENJOY KNOWING THAT YOUR CONTINUED EXISTENCE IS SUCH A MONUMENTAL FUCK UP THAT ANY SANE PERSON WOULD PUT YOU OUT OF YOUR MISERY ON SIGHT?
CG: HOW DOES IT FEEL, COOLKID?
TG: why dont you ask your own hideous mutant self, vantas
TG: you think i enjoy this
TG: do you think that when i started that goddamned piece of shit game i envisioned my life would end up like this
TG: DO YOU VANTAS
TG: my bro is dead
TG: the game brought back your entire fucking planet and your entire goddamn civilization
TG: but it couldnt bring back our parents and it couldnt bring back earth
TG: and it turned us into trolls and stuck me with this...
TG: this...mutant blood
TG: and you ask me if im enjoying myself
TG: well you can go fuck yourself
CG: ...
CG: DAVE
CG: I'M SORRY DAVE. THAT WAS OUT OF LINE.
CG: YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE, DAVE. I'M STUCK RIGHT HERE IN THIS HORRIBLE INTERGALACTIC CLUSTERFUCK WITH YOU.
CG: I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN.
CG: BUT NOW I'M NOT ALONE.
CG: I'M SORRY I BLEW UP AT YOU.
TG: ...
CG: JEGUS DAVE, I'M PROSTRATING MYSELF AT YOUR FUCKING FEET HERE.
CG: I AM COVERING MYSELF IN STINGING TUNNELING INSECTS AND DOING A LITTLE SOFTSHOE NUMBER CALLED "I AM SUCH AN ASS".
TG: dont strain yourself karkat
TG: its alright
TG: how many times have we gone through this
CG: TOO MANY
TG: yeah
TG: its cool though
TG: dont worry about it
TG: i would have walked out of this sweeps ago if it was a big deal
CG: TRUE.
CG: THANKS FOR STICKING AROUND, I GUESS.
TG: cmon vantas dont get all sappy on me
TG: im heading down

trenchantGallant [TG] terminated contact with crimsonGuerilla [CG] at 0230

> Dave: Descend

As you open the hatch in the roof and head down towards the basement and the concealed tunnel network, you ponder your unlikely moiralliegance with one Karkat Vantas.

Certainly neither of you saw it coming. At first you detested each other--hell, to an outsider, it looks like you still do. But after the Change, you found yourselves unceremoniously dumped into the same non-bucket receptacle. You found yourself cursed with the same mutant blood that had haunted Karkat for so long. This wouldn't have been a problem if you had found yourselves on Earth.

But you didn't.

Anyway, your stoic demeanor kinda acts like a sponge for his incoherent fits of uncontrolled rage. You take everything he throws at you, and that sort of defuses the situation. Over the sweeps this has calmed him down considerably, but certain topics (notably a certain green-blooded troll girl) still set him off, as he demonstrated earlier. In turn, he has slowly eroded your carefully constructed facade of irony and apathy until you are almost able to express your emotions like a normal hum...er, I mean, troll.
You guess that the Change, besides shoehorning you into troll bodies, also gave you the capability to fit into the quadrant system, because after a while the two of you discovered that you were waxing pale towards each other. You've been inseperable moirails ever since.

Also there's the fact that you keep saving each other's lives.

A/N

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Whelp, I dunno about this. I don't think I did the characters justice, but I sure as hell tried to make this interesting. Forgive me if they're OOC.

This started out because I wanted to do something interesting, and while I was cruising livejournal i found an illustrated fic about what would happen if the kids ended up on Alternia with the trolls instead of the other way round. I thought to myself, "hey, I think that's the first time someone's done this." So naturally I stole their idea. Then I decided it would be fun to turn the kids into trolls, too, with blood color matching their text just like the original trolls. And then I wrote this.

Also, yes, I refuse to tell you what's going on besides what's revealed in the story. I've got a notepad page that I stole from work sitting right next to me, covered front to back in tiny handwriting explaining the backstory to this. And you aren't allowed to see it.

Thank you to cephiedvariable for the inspiration for this fic.

[JudgeDeadd]

This started out because I wanted to do something interesting, and while I was cruising livejournal i found an illustrated fic about what would happen if the kids ended up on Alternia with the trolls instead of the other way round. I thought to myself, "hey, I think that's the first time someone's done this." So naturally I stole their idea. Then I decided it would be fun to turn the kids into trolls, too, with blood color matching their text just like the original trolls. And then I wrote this.

Hah, this looks very promising. Can't wait to see what happens next.

Also could you link to that LJ fic? It sounds interesting as well.

[Jim Groovester]

@lantadyme: Those were all fantastic. There's not enough fics with the kids, and the way you did them was beautiful.

@SeptimusMagistos: Accept my general praise of COLORS. Ghost Karkat is probably my favorite part of the fic right now. FRIGGIN HECK.

@RogerMexico: Ooh, this is interesting. Karkat and Dave as moirails makes a surprising amount of sense. I will say I am quite intrigued about what is going on.

Thanks for the comments. Also, it's Groovester, not Groovestar, even though I agree that sounds cooler and makes me seem like some sort of disco themed space action hero, but it's sadly not my name.

Anyway, here's a short little brainstorming thing I wrote just now.

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A man stands before you, sord in hand. He drags it along the black ground as he slowly walks, kicking up blue pebbles and carving a shallow trail. The nearly opaque concave black discs rest on his long snout, presenting an impenetrable emotional facade making all attempts at reading his eyes impossible. His red scales blaze in anticipation.

He gazes at you, sizing his opponent up. He continues to walk in a circle and you match the gesture.

“nak” He says.

“glub” You retort.

His foot scrapes against the ground. Through the many hours you have dedicated yourself to a life of combat, you recognize the signs when an opponent is about to strike. You adjust your foot, preparing to advance, ready to react.

He charges at you, sord held high to strike. You hold your makeshift hammer off to your side and charge him.

The both of you collide together. His long snout rubs against your eye, getting slobber all over it and disabling its use. You blow a bubble onto his neck as a result of your surprise at the ferocity of his assault. After an instant of furious altercation, the both of you fall away onto your rears, no longer able to fight.

“glub” You say.

“nak” He agrees.

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I'm thinking about what I'm going to tackle after the Sapphire of Alternia (besides editing the shit out of that). One of my ideas is to make a story featuring the consorts as heroes on some sort of quest. In a stroke of creativity, I'm tentatively calling it Consortquest.

Still working on the details, and what to make the heroes and so on. The crocodile, I'm calling Artifact Hero, from a conversation between Dave and Davesprite about running around as a jpeg hero with the SORD...... I'm debating whether to make the salamander Secret Wizard or based on John or something entirely different. Still thinking about the others.

It's basically going to be the least serious thing in the world written as seriously as possible. (It probably won't be written in second person either but it made it easier to brainstorm this out.)

[anonymousComrade]

I'm sitting here trying to finish this chapter of Crossing Over and I just can't do it, because writer's block is a bitch

It's kind of a long chapter (not as long as the last one though) and I guess I could post part of it but eh, I want the whole thing to go up at once

So instead, you're getting a minific about Karkat's ancestor that I may or may not continue

Champion

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Your name is KARKINOS HISTRELIN, and you are in grave danger.

Three sweeps ago, you began your rise through the ranks of the Alternian army, becoming a high-ranking threshecutioner. Your valor in battle earned you many medals, most of which had never been awarded to a greenblood such as yourself. All them have been stripped from you this day. Your supply of the experimental blood color-altering drug Chromomine was cut off over a week ago, forcing you to do without, and what would have been a minor accident in a routine training exercise revealed your worst fear: the Chromomine has worn off.

You were not the only one to notice.

Your superiors were notified and you were immediately thrown in the brig, stripped of command, and held for three days without food as the investigation into how the entire chain of command could be fooled by a lone gutterblood continued.

Fifteen minutes ago, three guards opened the door of your cell, shackled you, and began leading you to the Empress so that she may have the pleasure of culling this filth herself. Your face remains locked in a defiant scowl, but it is false bravado. You have seen bloody combat first-hand; your own comrades falling beside you; entire Alternian battleships devastated by enemy fleets. But you have never been so scared in your entire life.

The elevator has stopped moving. The door opens with a quick SHOOSH. The Empress sits on her throne at the far end of the room, 2x3dent in hand. The guards lead you, bound by iron, to a spot directly in front of the throne.

She regards you with disdain. "Karkinos )(istrelin. Did you really t)(ink you could continue to )(ide the color of your blood from us?"

The Empress points her weapon at you. "W)(y )(ave you disgraced us so? Speak!"

You think for a moment. What was the reason behind your transgression? "I ONLY WISHED TO SERVE, IN ORDER TO FURTHER THE GLORY OF ALTERNIA, MY EMPRESS."
"We )(ave no need of t)(e services of one wit)( suc)( corrosive sludge flowing in )(is veins, nor one w)(o would continue to )(ide his color from us. Yes, )(istrelin, we knew about the drug. T)(at you made suc)( a mockery of the )(igh command is inexcusable."
She raises the fork above her head. "T)(e )(emospectrum is the basis of law and order in our society. Wit)(out it, t)(ere can only be c)(aos. Karkinos )(istrelin. As punis)(ment for your crimes against the )(emospectrum, I will cull you myself, and all records of your service will be purged."

She motions to one of the guards. "You t)(ere. Cut )(is palm, so t)(at I may be)(old wit)( my own eyes w)(at s)(ade of maroon t)(is, t)(is beast bleeds."
The guard draws his sickle and runs the tip against the palm of your right hand. It is painful, but even now, you must not show weakness. You suppress the urge to wince.

"Prisoner! S)(ow me the cut!"

You present your open palm to the Empress... and she gasps, shocked at the revelation.

"You... you FOOLS! Do you KNOW what you )(ave ALMOST DON---------------------E?!"

The guards are speechless. They are not sure what they did to incur the Empress's wrath. You turn your hand to look at the cut yourself. Bright red. It is the true color of your blood, and is not even on the hemospectrum. Your blood is lower that even the deepest reds of maroonbloods. You are not simply the lowest rung on the ladder; your very existence is an affront to nature itself.

She slowly steps down the stairs leading to her throne to get a closer look. "My eyes do not deceive me, t)(en."

What happens next surprises even you. You have seen grown men weep in combat, you have seen troll cities and nations leveled in a day, you have witnessed entire planets bombarded and star systems conquered in the worst blow against Alternia in recorded history.

You have never witnessed the Empress of Alternia bow to another. The guards are as unsure of what to do as you are.

A moment of silence, and the Empress speaks.

")(ave you forgotten the writings of the blind prop)(ets?! Kneel, you fools! For you are in the presence of the C)(ampion of Alternia, and )(e will save us all."

Notes:

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I hope the hints that this was a period of Alternia getting its ass handed to it got through

I guess the idea came to me when I realized that most fics about Karkat's ancestor ended with him being culled for being a dangerous rebel, or a mutant, or a dangerous mutant rebel, and that hey, I haven't seen anyone write about the possibility that maybe Karkat's ancestor ended up being a goddamned hero

But was he actually a hero and his blood color just covered up by history, or did he fuck up so spectacularly that bright red blood would be considered an abomination? No one knoooooows

Also yeah I totally stole Chromomine from The Future and What Comes After

[draconicAlgorithm]

My internet stopped being a douche! I'm crying tears of joy. I wish I had time to go back and read stuff, because from comments, there's been some awesome stuff posted the last few days, but you'll have to make do with more Wizardstuck in the mean time.

Also, this new part has some dialogue from book 5 simply because the scene itself is from book 5, but it's all mixed around with dialogue that's... not from book 5. And I copy nothing else. :x

Wizardstuck: Hog's Head (Chronicles of the draconicAlgorithm DA Part 1)

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"Hey, Strider!" Dave slowed mid step, turning in a single fluid movement to look over his shoulder. Sollux, who had been walking beside him, paused and looked back as well. They both saw Ron hurrying down the corridor, waving a hand for the two of them to stop. He caught up finally, panting a bit.

"Sup, Weasley the Younger?" Dave asked, making Ron grin. The two had formed a sort of informal friendship—nothing as close as the two were with John and Harry respectively, but they had an understanding. Dave, of course, referred to Ron as Weasley the Younger both to differentiate him from his older brothers and because it was ironic. No one but him really knew how it was ironic, though. Ron just thought it was funny.

"... Yeah," Ron said, finally catching his breath. "I wanted to ask Sollux too, actually." The bifurcated troll raised an eyebrow.

"Really? What's this all about?" Both humans managed not to show their amusement at the unfortunate troll's lisp.

"Well," Ron began, "Harry, Hermione, and I have been thinking of putting together a group for studying DADA since, y'know, we don't learn anything from Umbridge. I thought you guys might be interested." Dave thought about it for a moment before nodding.

"Sure, why not? I can't stand that bitch, but some of this shit actually looks pretty interesting. Not all flowery like Charms or boring as hell like Potions."

"I wouldn't mind learning some things that would have more practical applications," Sollux agreed.

"Then it's settled," Ron said. "We're going to be meeting at a bar called the Hog's Head the first weekend of October, since it's a Hogsmeade weekend. So we'll see you there?"

"Sure," Dave said. "Mind if I bring a few friends along?" Ron nodded.

"Just make sure they're trustworthy. We don't want anyone snitching about this to Umbridge." Dave grinned.

"Oh, these guys are the best. You won't have to worry about them." Sollux caught on to Dave's idea and smirked as well. Ron looked back and forth from one to the other, a little confused, but shrugged.

"Okay, see you then!" He left, obviously on his way to his own classes. Sollux and Dave turned around and began whispering plans. Funny enough, the two had become pretty good friends since the start of the year. No one was sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

---

Word had gotten around to all sixteen of the kids and trolls that this group was going to be starting, and that Dave and Sollux fully intended on going. After discussing it in small groups, it was finally decided that they would all go, though some were obviously more enthusiastic than others. John, Tavros, and Feferi were all excited for it. Karkat, on the other hand, would never admit that he was looking forward to it as well. Although Dave had only invited Terezi, the entire group of Slytherin trolls was going to be there. Eridan was genuinely interested, Equius was going to keep an eye on Nepeta (who was also going, of course), and Gamzee was going because Luna had asked him. Vriska wasn't going to miss an opportunity to learn more spells (she intended on learning all the spells, all of them), and Jade all but dragged her three Ravenclaw friends, who were interested anyway.

They decided that if they all came in one large group, it would be more than a bit conspicuous. A group of sixteen made up almost entirely of creatures a species other than human was hard to miss.

Rose, Kanaya, and Aradia wandered in first, just after Harry, Ron, and Hermione. After ordering butterbeers, they seated themselves at the trio's table, making pleasant conversation. Dave, Terezi, Sollux, and Feferi were next, all talking and laughing together, making the bartender glare at them silently. Harry and Ron both looked a little worried when they saw Terezi, knowing what house she was in, but Dave assured them she was cool, and they relaxed slightly. When she started cracking jokes about Malfoy, they relaxed even more.

John, Karkat, Jade, Tavros, and Vriska all came in just before the large group of other students, which also included Equius, Nepeta, and Eridan, and Gamzee sat with Luna. The two of the chatted amicably about something no one really understood. Terezi and Luna both had a confused conversation involving something about a kiss ("Isn't that how crumplehorned snorkaks show their gratitude? I was merely being polite."), while Gamzee mumbled about the butterbeer needing more sopor slime.

Finally, when the whole group assembled, the three realized that it was a bit larger than they had initially anticipated. The addition of fourteen more members than they had thought to ask was no small number, not to mention the fact that four of them were Slytherins. Harry was already beginning to wonder what they'd gotten themselves into.

"Er," Hermione began, looking and sounding quite nervous. "Well—er—hi." Everyone stared at her, waiting for something to happen. "Well... erm... well, you know why you're here. Erm..."

"We're not here to listen to you stutter about nothing, maggot!" Karkat called from somewhere to the left of the group. "Get your act together and pretend you know what the fuck you're doing!"

"Karkat!" John gasped.

"Shut up, fuckass, this isn't your meeting!" A loud whump could be heard as Jade whacked the troll in the back of the head. Then she smiled back at Hermione. "Go ahead."

"Fucking bitch..." Everyone heard Karkat mumble under his breath, but he didn't say any more. Hermione looked rather red in the face, but she continued.

"Well, we—we wanted to see who would be interested in learning more about Defense Against the Dark Arts, since our teacher in entirely incompetent."

"You can say that again," Dave cut in, under a call of, "Here, here!" from one of the other students. Hermione went on.

"And, well, we feel it is imperative that we learn not only the theory but also the spells, since, well..." She paused, as if trying to decide how to phrase things properly. "You-Know-Who is back." The reaction was explosive. Literally. One girl spit her drink all over herself, and a few other students jolted as if they'd been shot with electricity. The sixteen former SBurb and SGrub players mostly looked at one another, confused.

"You-Know-Who?" Eridan said. "You mean that Voldemort guy? He sounds like a douche." There was a cacophony of shushes from the other students all around him, and Eridan just shrugged.

"We've only just been thrust into this world of witchcraft and wizardry, so, if you don't mind, please excuse our obvious ignorance," Rose said. Eridan glared at her.

"Bitch, are you saying I'm ignorant?"

"My point exactly." Eridan ground his teeth but apparently had the sense to stay quiet for once. Terezi giggled quietly and Karkat shook his head sadly at the spectacle. The humans generally ignored it in confusion and went on.

People argued about whether or not You-Know-Who or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named or some other stupid name for a guy who already had a stupid enough name (who could call themselves Voldemort and keep a straight face, seriously?) was really alive, and most of the trolls tuned it out. Finally, Harry told everyone that he wasn't there to talk about what happened the year before, and things got back on topic.

"Anyway," Hermione went on, "we'll need to decide where we'll meet and when—"

"It can't conflict with my Quidditch practice," one girl, a Gryffindor, said.

"Or mine," said a Ravenclaw.

"Or mine," said a Hufflepuff.

"Or my jam sessions," Dave threw in.

"Oh, Lord, no," Fred, or maybe George, said.

"If we miss that, our week will be ruined," the other twin added. Hermione glared at all three of them. Dave's "jam sessions" involved him using his turntables to blast music in the common room until well into the evening, and it always interrupted her while she worked on homework.

"We can work around all of those," she said aloud, her voice tense. "I'm sure we can find a day of the week that will work for everyone."

"So, who's going to be teaching us all this stuff?" Sollux asked. "You?"

"Ah, well—" Hermione began, though Harry cut in.

"No, I will."

"And do you have any experience?" Sollux pressed. Harry looked a little taken aback.

"Uhh—"

"Can't you do a corporeal patronus?" One student asked. Harry nodded, a bit sheepishly, but as he opened his mouth to explain, someone else began talking.

"And I heard he killed a basilisk with that sword in Dumbledore's office a few years ago."

"He saved the Philosopher's Stone from You-Know-Who, too!" Neville added.

"And don't forget all those trials in the Triwizard Tournament last year!" A girl named Cho said, making Harry blush a bit. Sollux nodded.

"Good enough for me."

"Look," Harry began, and everyone immediately quieted down. "I... I don't want to sound like I'm tying to be modest or anything, but... I had a lot of help with that stuff—"

"But you still fucking did it, didn't you?" Karkat said. "It takes guts to face monsters and come out on top. I used to think you humans were a bunch of pale-faced wrigglers, but some of you actually do pretty cool shit. So quit trying to prove me right, fuckass." Everyone stared in shock for a long moment. Did... did Karkat really just give a compliment?

"Well, it's settled then," Hermione said finally. "We're going to learn from Harry. The other thing we needed to decide was where, exactly, we were going to meet."

"Library?" Someone suggested.

"And risk destroying books?" Rose said, sounding slightly horrified. "I think not." A few people laughed, John and Dave included. Rose glowered at both of them.

"Maybe a classroom?" Jade suggested. "There are plenty that no one ever uses! The castle is huge, after all!" That seemed like the best idea for the moment.

"Alright," Hermione said, "we'll make sure to contact you all when we have a definite time and place. For now..." She took a long roll of parchment and a quill out of her bag. "I'd like everyone who's interested to sign this." A few people looked apprehensive about it.

"What's the problem?" Feferi asked, looking puzzled. "We're all glubbing here because we're interested, aren't we?"

"Yes, but if Umbridge were to get a hold of the list, she'd know exactly who we all were," one of the other students said. "I don't know..."

"It's not like I'm going to leave it lying around," Hermione said testily.

"And why would that matter, anyway? This is just a study group, isn't it?" Feferi went on. Hermione shrugged.

"Well, technically, yes, but Umbridge might see it as something else." She glanced at her two friends. "We don't want anyone telling her because we think that, well, the reason she's not teaching us anything is because she's... afraid of Dumbledore. She might think that he's trying to use the students here to create his own personal army against the Ministry."

There was a collective gasp from most of the group. Luna, however, said, "Well, that makes sense. After all, Cornelius Fudge has got his own private army." Everyone turned to look at her like she was insane.

"What?" Harry asked, completely flabbergasted.

"Yes, he's got an army of heliopaths," Luna said, very seriously.

"No he hasn't," retorted Hermione.

"Yes, he has," said Luna.

"What's a heliopath?" Neville asked.

"They're spirits of fire," she said, her voice hushing slightly in what the assembled students thought might be dramatic effect. "Great tall flaming creatures that gallop across the ground burning everything in front of—"

"They don't exist, Neville," Hermione snapped, attempting to cut off the discussion.

"Oh yes they do!" Luna asserted.

"I'm sorry, but where's the proof of that?" Hermione asked testily.

"I would think that having proof or not having proof would be entirely irrelevant given the situation we are currently in," Kanaya said. "Until recently, I was under the impression that magic was no more real than fairies or rainbow drinkers, but when I came to this school, I found that all three existed. As such, it is not outside the realm of thought that these heliopaths might exist as well."

"Rainbow drinkers are troll vampires," Rose added, before anyone was inclined to ask. Regardless, Kanaya's attempt to defuse the situation appeared to have worked. Both girls had let off on their assertions, though they still appeared to be angry at one another.

"Who wants to sign?" Hermione asked again. For a moment, no one said anything, and finally Feferi stepped forward.

"Oh, glub it all, I will!" She signed with a flourish. Sollux was soon after, then Eridan, then Jade, and before long, everyone there was inspired to sign. Hermione rolled up the parchment, looking quite pleased with herself, and stowed it away once more.

"Welp, time's ticking away, and I've got things to do," Dave said, standing up at the table. "It's been real, I guess. Until we figure out what the hell we're doing, later." Terezi stood as well, flashing them all a toothy grin, and the two walked out talking about something, closely followed by Karkat, who was closely followed by John and Jade, who was closely followed by Tavros and Vriska. By this time, everyone had begun to gather their things and leave. Finally, the table emptied, leaving no one but Harry, Ron, and Hermione, all three looking rather frazzled.

"Well," Ron said, "I think that went pretty well, don't you?" The other two just sighed. What were they getting themselves into?

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Well, I had a bunch of stuff I was going to say yesterday, when I was originally going to post this, but now I've forgotten most of it. :I I did try to use characters I haven't in a while, though. But Karkat keeps sneaking his way into my writing. DAMN HIM.

EDIT: My two cents about FF.net: As a vet of the site (I've been on there for six years, although I haven't been active in about two), I'd say it's not worth it. While I don't remember them enforcing not using scripts and the like very well, they still do it. And if a particular fandom started doing it a lot, I think they'd notice. Furthermore, the community itself isn't wonderful. There aren't a lot of good reviewers like at AO3 or here. A lot of its is just "lol that was awsome". Also, I think that the HS fandom has managed to avoid a lot of badly written fics because it's avoided FF.net. For every good one over there, there are at least 5 bad. Or, at least, there are in the fandoms I used to frequent. So, I may just have a really jaded outlook, but that's my opinion on the matter.

[Jeep-Eep]

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More.

Also, no FF.net. Just neg.

[starburst98]

hahaha, oh man, how is this thing gonna play out with these trolls in it now?

[Dermonster]

I use FF.net, sometimes. I usually only go when I'm redirected from a tvtropes recommended page or similar, though.

Loving the sudden inrush on new ideas.