The Dare Thread! Read OP before posting!

[wilySubversionist]

Okay. It's taken forever and isn't great, but I got distracted. I present the most dramatic fucking fanfic of all time:

THE CRAB IN WINTER

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CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board TEAM ADORABLOODTHIRSTY.

CCG: NO REALLY, THIS IS THE LAST FUCKING MEMO I'M EVER DOING.
CCG: I KNOW I SAID IT THE LAST TIME, BUT THAT WAS JUST BECAUSE I WAS SCARED THAT I WAS GOING TO GET CUT INTO NEATLY PORTIONED PIECES WITH SHITTY SCIENCESTICK PRECISION.
CCG: AND THEN HAVE MY LIMBS JUGGLED BY A BURNOUT CLOWN WITH A MONSTER RAGEON.
CCG: I WANTED TO TRY TO WARN YOU ABOUT THE MURDERFAIRIES AND THE TELEPORTING CATDOG...
CCG: BUT FUCKING FORGET IT.
CCG: WE ALL, PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE HAVE THIS COMING FOR BEING SUCH UTTER DUMBFUCKS.
CCG: ALL OF US.
CCG: ALL I'VE TRIED TO DO WAS KEEP US FROM DYING, AND ALL YOU ASSHOLES HAD TO DO WAS FUCKING LISTEN AND NOT KILL EACH OTHER.
CCG: WHOOPS. LOOKS LIKE WE WERE TOO STUPID TO MANAGE EVEN THAT.
CCG: MAN.
CCG: MY FUCKING LIFE IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH BETTER AS A FOOTNOTE IN THOSE RETARDED HUMAN'S FAQ INSTEAD OF THIS RASH OF FUCKBUMPS ON THE UNDERSIDE OF A MUSCLEBEAST LIKE I HAVE LIVED EVERY GODDAMN DAY.
CCG: KARKAT VANTAS.
CCG: BEST TROLL EVER HATCHED, AT SIX SWEEPS THE LEADER OF THE AMALGAMATED RED/BLUE TEAM, CREATOR GOD OF A HIDEOUS PLANET FULL OF FUCKING USELESS PINK MONKEYS, BIGGEST BADASS OF A SESSION FULL OF PRETTY OKAY BADASSES.
CCG: HE WAS AS GOOD A LEADER AS THIS SORRY SACK OF WHINY PUPAS COULD HOPE FOR, HE PITIED THEM WHEN THEY WEREN'T RUINING HIS LIFE, AND FOR MORE THAN 600 HOURS HE KEPT THEM ALIVE DESPITE THEIR NATURAL INCLINATION TO MURDER THEMSELVES THROUGH UTTER NONSENSE.
CCG: HE SOMEHOW PREVENTED ALL KINDS OF ROMANTIC CHAOS THROUGH SHEER FORCE OF WILL, MANAGING A LEGENDARY INTERSPECIES SHIPPING GRID THE LIKES OF WHICH HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN IN PARADOX SPACE.
CCG: NOT IN NEPETA'S FUCKING CAVE OR TROLL WILL SMITH'S MOVIES OR TROLL JERRY SPRINGER'S NATIVE WEIRDO TRAILER LAWNRING HAS THERE BEEN SUCH A CLUSTERFUCK OF CLEARLY INFERIOR GENETIC SPECIMENS TRYING TO PERPETRATE SLOPPY MAKEOUTS ON EACH OTHER.
CCG: NO, DESPITE ALL ASSERTIONS TO THE CONTRARY, NO OTHER SENTIENT CREATURE HAS EVER HAD SO MANY IDIOT GRUBFUCKS IN THE FIRE AS KARKAT VANTAS.
CCG: BUT EVEN THOUGH HE WAS UP TO HIS BONEBULGE IN STEAMING WIGGLERS AND MOODY ASSHOLES, HE HAD NO FRIENDS. NOT A SINGLE ONE OF YOU IDIOTS WAS EVER WORTHY OF HIS PITY, AND HE NEVER HAD SO MUCH AS A TWINGE OF THE TROLL DISEASE THAT SEEMED TO SWEEP THIS STERILE METEOR WE HAVE PAINSTAKINGLY REDECORATED WITH EACH OTHERS BLOOD.
CCG: YOU HEAR THAT, YOU SHITHIVE MAGGOTS IMBECILES?
CCG: I NEVER WAS AND NEVER WOULD BE FRIENDS WITH ANY OF YOU!
CCG: YOU ARE BENEATH MY CONTEMPT, AND I HATE YOU ALL EQUALLY AND PLATONICALLY.
CCG: EXCEPT FOR PAST ME, BECAUSE YOUR THINKPAN WAS SO HEAPED IN SICK DELUSIONS THAT YOU THOUGHT ANY OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS WAS WORTH PROTECTING.
CCG: I AM HATING YOU AS HARD AS I CAN.
CCG: SO I REPEAT, KARKAT VANTAS HAD NO FRIENDS. HE HAD A BUNCH OF TERRIBLE TROLLS WHO MADE HIM WISH HE HAD BEEN CULLED BEFORE HE EVER MET ANY OF THEM, HUMAN HANGERS-ON WHO WERE STUPIDER THAN MOST SPECIES OF ALTERNIAN MOSS, AND A BUNCH OF PAST AND FUTURE DIPSHITS BLUHING AT HIM CONSTANTLY.
CCG: I HEREFUCKINGBY DISSOLVE THE TEAM! NO MORE WELL ORCHESTRATED COLLABORATION, LIKE AN INTRICATE FUCKING BALLET OF PEGLEGGED NOOKSUCKS WITH HEAD INJURIES FLOPPING AROUND.
CCG: I HOPE YOU ALL GET SPOONFED RANCID ROE CUBES AND DIE OF TROLL BOTULISM.
CCG: I FUCKING HATE YOU ALL!
CCG: SERIOUSLY. YOU CAN ALL SUCK MY BULGE AND DIE.
CCG:...
CCG: WOW.
CCG: NOW THAT I'VE PUT THAT OUT THERE...
CCG: I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.
CCG banned himself from responding to the memo.
PAST caligulasAquarium [PCA] 255 HOURS AGO responded to memo.
PCA: fuckin right you tell em kar
PCA: so
PCA: you think you might wwant to come kill some angels
PCA: wwith me
PCA: since youre feelin so
PCA: hatey
FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 0:02 MINUTES FROM NOW responded to the memo
PCG: FUCK NO.
FUTURE carcinoGeneticist's [FCG'S] computer exploded.

FIN.

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Inspiration.

[Vare E8]

@WS: AWESOME! Now post a dare of your own

[maddenedHatter]

thanks see you soon.

speaking of which, i may have to go for dinner sometime in the next bit. but maybe not for awhile. i dont even know.

[wilySubversionist]

Oh man. That is hard...
I dare someone to enter the medium! You can eat an apple, break a bottle, crack an egg or wack a pinata (or reasonable pinata substitute.)

[shonen413]

Oh man. That is hard...
I dare someone to enter the medium! You can eat an apple, break a bottle, crack an egg or wack a pinata (or reasonable pinata substitute.)

So, you mean somebody take a picture of them eating an apple, breaking a bottle, cracking an egg, or wacking a pinata(or reasonable pinata substitute)?
If so, then awesome! do you want them to actually enter the medium? if so, then even more awesome, but not really plausible... unless its them making a gif of them enternig the medium aka doing the thing to enter and then a weird portal/backround effect? then even more awesome!

[JadeWolf27]

I now propose a dare to any takers: find at least 10 separate and distinct items in your domicile/house/laboratory and stack them up biggest on the bottom smallest on top. then upload this fine item pyramid.

one rule: by "separate and distinct" i mean "separate and distinct", meaning don't make a mountain that is made up solely of books, make it made up of 1 book, 1 jar, 1 cup, 1 bunny, 1 faygo bottle, etc, etc.

If it's okay, I wouldn't mind taking this dare, I have plenty of separate and distinct items lying around my room!

[shonen413]

Its ok, take it! (just think up a good one to replace it!)

[JadeWolf27]

Its ok, take it! (just think up a good one to replace it!)

It's okay, I've had a dare ready this whole time and I was just searching for one to do!

[shonen413]

awesome!

[wilySubversionist]

So, you mean somebody take a picture of them eating an apple, breaking a bottle, cracking an egg, or wacking a pinata(or reasonable pinata substitute)?
If so, then awesome! do you want them to actually enter the medium? if so, then even more awesome, but not really plausible... unless its them making a gif of them enternig the medium aka doing the thing to enter and then a weird portal/backround effect? then even more awesome!

I was more thinking the first one (with a few extra rungs on the YourLifeIsAwesome echeladder for doing more than one), but if somebody here can actually transcend our physical limits and enter an alternate universe in paradox space, I ain't gonna stop them.

I'll leave the gif-ing and what not up to you and the dare-e, cause I am woefully ignorant about such things.

PS: Imma gonna get more wine, and then I'll be ready for a second round of duty, if it's called for.

[JadeWolf27]

Apologies in advance for the blurriness.

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For convenience, here is a list of what I used from bottom to top.
1. The lid from a shoe box.
2. A handy journal that I use for doodling at school.
3. Tissues (stupid flu/cold/whatever else)
4. A copy of the book Mockingjay.
5. My special coloured pencils.
6. A video game carrying case that I don't use much because I can't stand the colour pink.
7. My wallet/DS video game container. It's barely visible, but it's there.
8. A pack of playing cards that will probably be destroyed in a few days time due to my science teacher making us do a DI project instead of a science fair project.
9. A plate from a miniature tea set.
10. A puffball monster that I made. His name is Iggy.

Now for my dare:
I dare whoever accepts this dare, to reunite with a loving wife, daughter, friend, colleague, enemy, or anyone else. When doing so, hand them a stuffed animal (preferably a bunny, but any will do) and give them a hug.

[maddenedHatter]

Apologies in advance for the blurriness.

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For convenience, here is a list of what I used from bottom to top.
1. The lid from a shoe box.
2. A handy journal that I use for doodling at school.
3. Tissues (stupid flu/cold/whatever else)
4. A copy of the book Mockingjay.
5. My special coloured pencils.
6. A video game carrying case that I don't use much because I can't stand the colour pink.
7. My wallet/DS video game container. It's barely visible, but it's there.
8. A pack of playing cards that will probably be destroyed in a few days time due to my science teacher making us do a DI project instead of a science fair project.
9. A plate from a miniature tea set.
10. A puffball monster that I made. His name is Iggy.

Now for my dare:
I dare whoever accepts this dare, to reunite with a loving wife, daughter, friend, colleague, enemy, or anyone else. When doing so, hand them a stuffed animal (preferably a bunny, but any will do) and give them a hug.

Nice. nice pyramid. nice new dare. just all over nice job.

[wilySubversionist]

Actually, nah, it's cool.

[Thunderegg]

FINALLY!!! I finally finished with the gushers thing. You would not believe how many problems I encountered trying to do this. I had all of the problems. All of them. (A drunk guy stealing my gushers, friends being uncooperative, etc...)
Regardless, here it is, even though it's not that great and makes me look stupid. Oh well.

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THIS

IS

STUPID!!!

I know all the pictures were taken in different rooms... my bad.
And though you can't see it, I used Double Dare Gushers for extra shits and giggles.

[maddenedHatter]

lol i like the last one the best.

[NotAPumpkin]

That would be a win, Thunder.
XD

(Also, a drunk guy stealing your gushers? I admire your perseverance.)

[JadeWolf27]

I agree, that was a wonderful mental break down!

[Thunderegg]

Sweet, People liked it!
And the drunk guy stealing the gushers was kinda funny because I had already eaten all the gushers and he just got a box full of gusher wrapers.

And so I guess I can come up with a dare for anyone willing to volunteer now.

[shonen413]

I'm totally gonna make a gif of that!

[Thunderegg]

Then I dare some newcomer to use that as their avatar for at least 12 hours.

...actually that might be kinda creepy.
But I would totally love that gif

[shonen413]

I got it! here it is:


Bam

[Thunderegg]

Since nobody's really done anything on this thread for a couple days I think I'll claim the enter the medium dare. No trippy special effect entering effect guaranteed. In fact it's a guarantee that that's not what's gonna happen.

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Not lettin this thread die that easily...

[shonen413]

Aww yeah, maybe i'll take one too! I think i'll take the Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff one! (gonna get my jelly on!)

[NotAPumpkin]

I suppose I could go for a dare...

When one of you guys are done, give me one!

[Vare E8]

@ NotAPumpkin, look at the first post for available dares