The Adventures of a Random RPG Mini Boss (TEMPORARY HIATUS/SUPER SPORADIC UPDATES)

[BrainpanSonata]

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This is my first ever attempt at a forum adventure. I warn you now, my artistic skills aren't very good and I'm not afraid to make fun of that. So sit back and enjoy The Adventures of a Random RPG Mini Boss.

Ah, the glory that is a random RPG world! It has seas! Deserts! Montains! Plains! Forests! A map that looks like it was drawn by a four-year-old!

It is a glorious land where poorly-drawn adventurers quest for fame, glory, and as much wicked awesome loot as their magically imbued inventories can carry!

But this isn't their story, so who cares about them.

THIS is our protagonist right here. Professional RPG Mini Boss by trade, he makes lesser adventurers quake in their armor and makes dinner out of the rest. Um, you'll have to imagine the bones and broken equipment strewn about his lair... I felt so good about how well I drew this guy that I just phoned the rest of the page in.

Anyhoo, I also forgot to name this guy! But I did it on purpose so YOU could do it! (And I refuse to say otherwise!) Care to think up a really fearsome name for him?

[AvzinElkein]

Soulchomper XVI.

[Neoskel]

Exivis the Looming Shadow

[SourdoughBeard]

>Cupcake. It is the most fearsome name ever.

Or.

>Anomaly.

[Tam Lin]

Faustus Emilius the Thirteenth

[Ku0]

> Ond

[maxicaxi]

> Ond

>Evil

[Eldrake]

> Umbralux the XIth

[Reecer6]

>Fluffy the Bloody Mangler

[BrainpanSonata]

> Ond

Ond? Ond is your species, not your name!

>Cupcake.

The last time someone called you "Cupcake", you ate him before he could fight you. Oddly enough, he didn't taste like cupcakes at all. More like sourdough.

>Fluffy the Bloody Mangler

No. Just... no. This is getting ridiculous.

Faustus Emilius the Thirteenth

Your name is FAUSTUS EMILIUS THE THIRTEENTH (or Faustus Emilius XIII if you prefer Roman numerals). You are very pleased to have this name, just as you are very pleased that the author finally put some effort into making a decent lair for you.

As was said before, you are a PROFESSIONAL RPG MINI BOSS. In fact, Being A Mini Boss is a FAMILY TRADITION PASSED DOWN THROUGH COUNTLESS GENERATIONS. Well, not exactly countless... but it's kinda obvious that there's at least thirteen generations involved. You are VERY GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO, though that may be because THE AVERAGE HERO IN YOUR DAY AND AGE IS STUPID AND WEAK. Seriously, you don't even have to try very hard. Usually you're pretty content to just KICK BACK AT YOUR LAIR and FEAST ON ADVENTURERS who try to fight you, but sometimes...

Sometimes you just wish there was a hero out there who could actually make your work worthwhile for you.

But not so much that you'd die or anything, because being dead sucks.

[AvzinElkein]

Look around, see if you can make a trap that can quickly weed out unworthy adventurers before they can fight you.

[Obselescence]

>Venture out and find a hero worthy of challenging you.

[Tam Lin]

> Equip bones as weapons and skulls as helmet and pauldrons

[siguard]

>get various fodder to train/weed out the adventurers. wish upon a star for a party worthy of your time.

[Captain Lhurgoyf]

> Faustus: Somehow hear of an adventurer named "Chuck Diesel Kamina T". Be overjoyed.
> CDKT: Be a weakling who just picked the name to sound tough.

[GoldenMB]

>> Go get some minions. What's a miniboss without some minions?

[Pharmacy]

>Go on a fabulous adventure.

[Riou]

>Go on a fabulous adventure.

To find the golden-furred, diamond encrusted unicorn!

[Jonath Nell]

> Attack a town just for the fun of it?

[BrainpanSonata]

>Go on a fabulous adventure.

> Attack a town just for the fun of it?

Suddenly you get the perfect idea! Why wait for a hero to come along when you can CREATE one? Just pick a random village, go on a brutally specific reign of terror involving death and chaos and destruction, and voila! The one obligatory survivor you leave behind will have no choice but to swear revenge against you, train in the heroic arts, and seek you out for an epic battle that would surely be better than the losers that you've been flossing out of your teeth! Plus watching a village burn to the ground is sooo much fun.

>> Go get some minions. What's a miniboss without some minions?

You rub your claws together in the traditional manner of gleeful evil plotting as you further think out your new scheme.

Of course, you know fully well that you won't be able to execute your plan on your own. You'll need minions. Lots and lots of minions. The more, the better. You can never have enough minions.

Luckily, you know just the place to go to recruit some minions.



THIS PLACE.

You'll have to make a small trip to get there from your lair, but it'd be worth it. This forest is considered the most evil forest in the whole kingdom.

(Your forest counts as the second most evil, though it wasn't evil at all until you came along.)

Dead trees stretch towards an odd dark greeny-bluey sky (because Faustus wouldn't show up too well on black). Countless eyes gaze back at you from the darkness. One would expect screams and various feral noises to fill the air, but the oppressive silence is unbreakable. People never speak of this place in voices above whispers, and never unless they absolutely have to, but when they do they call it...

Aw, shoot. What DO they call it, again?

[Riou]

Dead Man's Forest.

[Captain Lhurgoyf]

> Fluffy Bunny Land

[Zeralith]

> The forest of no return
or
> The forest of black doom
or
> THAT FOREST OVER THERE!!!

[GoldenMB]

>> Forest of Death and Decay

[A Fan]

Don'tgointhe Woods.

The name stuck after six consecutive generations of cartographers refused to name the place.