TROLLSLUM CAFE II: Home of the Worst Rap-Offs in Paradox Space!

[Captain Whosit]

Original Thread Title: Arm Torpedoes!

OK, shiny new thread primed for destruction. I'm just gonna quote this and we can get back to being insane:

Every where you go, there's places like this; a comfortable place, dimly lit, with coffee and couches and books on the shelves and free wifi and, I don't know, a soup of the day. After the sun comes up they put up the shutters and sell alcohol. It's homey, unless your homelife involves caves and monsters that eat people, which it probablv does, because you're a troll.

It's a good place to have a seat and a cup of coffee, and make a friend, which in your language is the same word as enemy, because... you're a troll.

((And if you are maybe a human, which is a thing that doesn't exist, in another univere pretending to be a troll, maybe this is a good place to roleplay in a casual, social, variably canon setting or try out a new character. Please don't poke the setting too hard and please don't go on any murderous rampages. Honk.

EDIT: Feel free to NPC service when you order something, I can't watch this all the time or reply to every comment. For that matter feel free to assume your troll works here and fill someone's order if you want.

EDIT2: OKAY GUESS WE NEED SOME RULES AFTER ALL.

This is really intended to be a loose social setting for people to fool around and chat and try new characters. It is a not great place for a big brawl in the middle of the room that everyone pretty much has to react to. If you are playing a character who is inevitably going to try and hurt people and provoke this kind of thing, you should really think long and hard about bringing them in here for that reason. If a fight comes up in the course of RP, please take it ''outside' instead of disrupting the whole room. It being in the thread is fine, but it should be set somewhere where new people or people who don't want to be involved can ignore it, please. ))

HAVE FUN!!

[FlyingFrogSlash]

((Oh god... I am almost tempted to...wait...Hang on...I gotta get someone to transpose the armor I drew up on to Hatyara and Then I will have a BATTLE READY TROLL~!))

[Rio]

==> Shaula: Find someplace safe to sit

You succesfully find someplace safe to sit, and watch the more violent group from afar.

==>Corynn: get yourself some food

You get yourself some food and it is delicious.

[DJ-P0N3]

....What the hell do you want from me....?? Let go of me... LET GO!! You're just some horrtble monster!

We want you~
We want to eat your dreams~
We want to taste you for eternity, we want you to soak in our stomakhh juikhes~
WE WANT YOUR HATE~

Misdra licks his cheek before planting/forcing a kiss onto Salom's lips. She attempts to feed on his conscious thoughts, with this hate-kiss as a cover-up.



((WERE DOING IT BRO
WERE MAKING IT HAPEN))

[Marshmellow]

NOW BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED THREAD

(>,,,<) no Stfu doSa
(o,,,o) i am going to be a KULLcruSader and the damn beSt one at that
(<,,,<) aS S(X_X)n aS they Stop acting weird about me
(O,,,O) they alwayS Show up for interviewS when im aSle_ep and then
(9,,,9) afterwardS they act like they were talkin to me and i waS acting doSile
(V,,,V) i mean SeriouSly
(-,,,-) bullShit going on right there

He sighed, holding in another coughing fit. BullShit inde_ed.

What ~really~? I can't ~believe~ that! How horrid! When I am a senatsterminator I will be sure to senatsterminate as ~many~ trolls as I need to to clean up the ~gross~ negligence of the ~current~ administration.

[One]

[incarceratedNoname]

Netronn: Do something awesome.

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Hey bluedude, c@n !i tell you someth!ing? Not th@t !it re@lly m@tters @nymore but...
S@lom doesn't re@lly h@ve the h!ighscore on th!is th!ing, !i just set !it up so !it looks l!ike he does. Really !i'm the one who be@t v@dos@'s score, don't tell her th@t though...

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She d!idnt re@lly seem @ll th@t upset when she found out S@lom be@t her h!ighscore e!ither. !i guess, !i should be k!ind of m@d @t myself know!ing he h@s !it now w!ith no cons!iquence. But, !i know !i'm the one th@t set !it so techn!iquelly th!is !is st!ill my score, so !i'm 0k w!ith !it. But the th!ing th@t worr!ies me !is the w@y she re@cted, !i just got th!is feel!ing she knew she could be@t my score e@s!ily. So really the only re@son why !i'm do!ing th!is @g@!in... !is to set !it so unbel!iev@bly h!igh no one w!ill ever be @ble to be@t !it...

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where do!ing !it m@n, where m@k!ing th!is h@pen

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...

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Then he goes and does just that, now the score is unbelievably high and Netronn's name is at the top instead of Salom's

[Captain Whosit]

((OH Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff fffffffffffffffff~))

[privateTenderloin]

Netronn: Do something awesome.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Hey bluedude, c@n !i tell you someth!ing? Not th@t !it re@lly m@tters @nymore but...
S@lom doesn't re@lly h@ve the h!ighscore on th!is th!ing, !i just set !it up so !it looks l!ike he does. Really !i'm the one who be@t v@dos@'s score, don't tell her th@t though...

show spoiler

hide spoiler

She d!idnt re@lly seem @ll th@t upset when she found out S@lom be@t her h!ighscore e!ither. !i guess, !i should be k!ind of m@d @t myself know!ing he h@s !it now w!ith no cons!iquence. But, !i know !i'm the one th@t set !it so techn!iquelly th!is !is st!ill my score, so !i'm 0k w!ith !it. But the th!ing th@t worr!ies me !is the w@y she re@cted, !i just got th!is feel!ing she knew she could be@t my score e@s!ily. So really the only re@son why !i'm do!ing th!is @g@!in... !is to set !it so unbel!iev@bly h!igh no one w!ill ever be @ble to be@t !it...

show spoiler

hide spoiler

where do!ing !it m@n, where m@k!ing th!is h@pen

show spoiler

hide spoiler

...

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hide spoiler

Then he goes and does just that, now the score is unbelievably high and Netronn's name is at the top instead of Salom's

((Words can not describe how brotastically bromazing that was to read. I am at a loss for words bro.))

[redRevolvers]

We want you~
We want to eat your dreams~
We want to taste you for eternity, we want you to soak in our stomakhh juikhes~
WE WANT YOUR HATE~

Misdra licks his cheek before planting/forcing a kiss onto Salom's lips. She attempts to feed on his conscious thoughts, with this hate-kiss as a cover-up.



((WERE DOING IT BRO
WERE MAKING IT HAPEN))

[Marshmellow]

(( I would say this thread is off to an excellent start ))

[Rio]

Oh what the hell is wrong with this picture. Aside from everything.

[uncannyUroboros]

Charyb + Erebus.


What the $hit; (♠,,,♠) Say that againglub


And then, while Erebus stayed focused on the matter at hand (raging@misdra) Kullryb turned back to Vadosa.

(9,,,9) yeah great wwhatevver glub.
(o,,,o) being a KULLcruSader iS So much better

[Captain Whosit]

We want you~
We want to eat your dreams~
We want to taste you for eternity, we want you to soak in our stomakhh juikhes~
WE WANT YOUR HATE~

Misdra licks his cheek before planting/forcing a kiss onto Salom's lips. She attempts to feed on his conscious thoughts, with this hate-kiss as a cover-up.



((WERE DOING IT BRO
WERE MAKING IT HAPEN))

((OK, pretend that I had time to make a new sprite of Salom, like, spitting in disgust or whatever.))



Salom, to put it lightly, is not pleased by these new, sudden developments. He squirms and struggles for all he's worth (not much) but manages to at least tear his face away from Misdra's.

Bleaughhh!! Ugh....!! Wh-what the hell?!? Guh....!! H-hate...?? T'm... T'm not capable of hate!! And even tf T was, T wouldn't gtve you the sattsfactton!! Now let go of me already!!

He continues to struggle, trying to wriggle out of Misdra's three-armed grip. Gog, maybe he should have learned some martial arts, after all.

[Nox]

We want you~
We want to eat your dreams~
We want to taste you for eternity, we want you to soak in our stomakhh juikhes~
WE WANT YOUR HATE~

Misdra licks his cheek before planting/forcing a kiss onto Salom's lips. She attempts to feed on his conscious thoughts, with this hate-kiss as a cover-up.

Apparently Shivia is directly behind Misdra. No I don't know how she got their, it will forever remain a mystery...

...have you ever danced with the devil in _the_pail_moonlight?_)

[SumiumOxide]

We want you~
We want to eat your dreams~
We want to taste you for eternity, we want you to soak in our stomakhh juikhes~
WE WANT YOUR HATE~

Misdra licks his cheek before planting/forcing a kiss onto Salom's lips. She attempts to feed on his conscious thoughts, with this hate-kiss as a cover-up.



((WERE DOING IT BRO
WERE MAKING IT HAPEN))

H4WT.

[FlyingFrogSlash]

Mitrah blinks and looks away from Ryus. She then walks over quietly to Misdra

Misdra Friend...we will give you one warning...Release him...Or I remove you from him.

She says this all in a calm, quiet tone

[DJ-P0N3]

Salom, to put it lightly, is not pleased by these new, sudden developments. He squirms and struggles for all he's worth (not much) but manages to at least tear his face away from Misdra's.

We do not khare if you do not share these feelings~
We do not even feel this way for you~
But let us feaaaaast~
We hunger~

Misdra began to nibble on his neck, she bit down on his flesh.
She hungered for real meals now, not just dreams.
Why though, why?!
THIS WAS NOT HOW MISDRA BEHAVED
THIS IS CLEARLY A PLOY OF SOMESORT
SHE ALSO IGNORES ALL OF THE NINJAS
ALL OF THEM

[privateTenderloin]

Ryus attempts to pry Salom away from Misdra.

Let him go! Let him go! Let him go! Let him go! Let him go! Let him go! Let him go!

[Rio]

Seriously what the hell is going on. You're confused, disturbed and a little scared.

[Marshmellow]

...

Someone bring me my ~SHIPPING CHART~.

[uncannyUroboros]

Ryus attempts to pry Salom away from Misdra.

Let him go! Let him go! Let him go! Let him go! Let him go! Let him go! Let him go!

^Better spades than mine^

[amnesiaDinosaur]

"Where.is.it."

[redRevolvers]

You attempt to tackle Misdra. You're not about to let Salom get hurt.

[Marshmellow]

"Where.is.it."

Actually I don't ~have one~.

But I think I'm going to ~need one~ soon.

Managing Salom's ~love life~ is harder than I ~thought~.