Chelsea.

[Pemm]

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Ah. It is night.

For you, it has been night for a very long time. You have slept, and slept, and slept.

But now it is time. Time to wake up.

Wake up.





A streak of blinding orange upsets your hazy vision. It is vertical, a blossoming line that pierces the darkness.



Against it, you can make out what looks like ... bars? Chocolate bars.

Sideways chocolate bars with the sun coming up behind them ...

Oh. Wait, no.



Your head is sideways.

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OH GOD IT'S MY FIRST QUEST EVER AAAAAA

I apologize if updates are slow, if updates are shit, if nothing is consistent ever, I just really want to get this started so I can stop agonizing over it AUGH OH GOD AAAA

I HOPE YOU ENJOY MY QUEST!

[Jovian]

>Get your head un-sideways, you silly thing!

[AvzinElkein]

Wait. Check your heartbeat. If there isn't one, you're undead. Sorry.

[Jonath Nell]

> pull yourself together and get yourself off that dirty floor.

[Pemm]

>Get up!

Sounds like a plan. You push yourself up from the blood-stained asphalt. The sun is slowly getting higher, and it is perfectly silent. A beautiful kind of morning, really.



All your limbs seem to be in order, though you think you're having trouble seeing out of your left eye. It's kind of hard to tell; you sort of feel like you're underwater. Must have been drinking.



Wait a minute.



Okay what the hell you definitely don't remember losing any fingers what the hell happened to your hands

... Come to think of it, you don't remember anything. You are missing fingers and a name. You have absolutely no memory of yourself.

This could be bad.

>Wait. Check your heartbeat. If there isn't one, you're undead. Sorry.

It occurs to you that maybe you are hallucinating or on some really trippy drugs or drunk or something. Surely your pulse will alert you to any abnormalities going on with your body!



Tick-tock. Tick-tock.



You don't have a pulse.

[Jovian]

>Look around for others. stealthily.

[Anomaly]

> Go to the hospital.

[Parsath]

> Examine your left eye more closely.

[Firebird766]

What's that tag on your shirt say?

[Dfaran]

>Pick up the book. What's the title?

[GPP]

>Think about it. You are already dead and therefore cannot die. You can do pretty much whatever you want.
>Proceed to be overwhelmed by the possibilities.

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>Then proceed to realize you have no clue what the possibilities are.

[Jonath Nell]

> suddenly become overwhelmed with the urge to feed!... on spaghetti.

[AvzinElkein]

...Can you still speak? This is important; if you cannot speak as normal, please try to learn Morse Code.

[OfficerJordan]

Examine what is possibly a nametag in the hopes of recalling your name.

[Ed]

> Check that dumpster behind you

[ProfessorLizzard]

>The book, it beckons to be read.

[Pemm]

O ... okay. Um.

Let's think.

>Find a hospital.

Naturally, your first thought is to haul ass to the nearest hospital. You look around as if hoping one will magically be in front of you.



...Oh look it's a hospital. The sign says it's KING'S MEDICAL CENTER.

Aren't hospitals for people who are still alive, though? You wonder if they can do anything for zokaynoyoudontwanttosaythatword

... Besides, it looks empty. There aren't any lights on or anything and the windows are kind of totally broken. There's not much else to be seen, except for a pile of corpses over there that you already decided to pretend were just props from a tv show or something.

>Can you still speak? This is important; if you cannot speak as normal, please try to learn Morse Code.

Stirring your vocal cords, you call out a wishy-washy hello to the empty street. Your voice is pretty groggy, but to your relief you don't sound super dead. Your neck wounds must only be skin-deep.

Nothing happens. It remains eeriely calm and peaceful.

>Examine your left eye more closely.

Time to take stock of the damage. Nothing on you hurts, but you decide to feel up yourself in a decidedly squeamish, nonsexual manner anyway.



There is definitely no longer an eyeball present. Mr. Eye has left the building.

This would bother you more if you weren't already freaking out about other things. Actually apart from the loss of sight it's kind of cool oh my god does this mean you get to wear an eyepatch and be a pirate AN UNDEAD PIRATE HOLY SMOKES

The rest of the damage seems minimal, except for the cuts on either side of your neck and these two huge wounds coming from the corners of your mouth. You recognize that someone has given you a Glasgow smile, shortly before ... death ... since the gashes haven't healed whatsoever. They sort of fused together through dried blood, but you think they would rip again if you opened your mouth too widely.

This is unpleasant. What'd you do to deserve that?

Ugh whatever you pull up your shirt to make sure your intestines aren't falling out or something what OH SWEET JESUS YOU'RE GONNA BE SICK



WHERE THE FUCK DID YOUR BOOBS GO THERE WERE DEFINITELY BOOBS THERE A WHILE AGO

WHYYYYYYYYY

... You -- you decide not to check your legs. After a quick once-over through the fabric everything seems mostly intact, anyway.

>suddenly become overwhelmed with the urge to feed!... on spaghetti.

You think you remember that you love pasta, but after looking at all of that viscera you aren't very hungry. Or maybe you're more hungry. You aren't sure, it's kind of fuzzy. You could probably go for some candy, though. Assuming you can still taste things.

oh god wait are you supposed to eat people now? eeeeeeeewwwwww

>Take a moment to have a crisis.



This is all too much. You promise yourself you'll get back to investigating everything the minute you stave off the unholy and paralyzing knowledge that you are STONE-COLD DEAD.

[Cowey42]

Look around for other people, alive or otherwise.

[Pemm]

>Snap out of it!
Having successfully pulled yourself from an EXISTENTIAL QUANDARY, you decide to man the fuck up and figure out what to do.

First off though you realize you are sitting on something.

>The book, it beckons to be read.



It's a massive, thick leather tome. A veritable font of information, no doubt. It is matte blue-black with silver clasps, and dozens of empty white circles grace the cover.

You open it.



... There's nothing inside. That's ... weird. It seems too old and nice to be a journal. It doesn't seem to have gotten any of the copious blood (your blood, you assume) lying around on itself, either.

Oh well. You decide to take it with you. Maybe you can chronicle your no-doubt hilarious upcoming adventures in it.

You have obtained the MYSTERIOUS LEATHER TOME.

>Examine what is possibly a nametag in the hopes of recalling your name.

What next. Ah, your missing identity. You noticed something hard and plastic on your shirt when you pulled it up earlier.



Well, that's something to work with. You assume you are a) unmarried and b) SOMETHING SULLIVAN.

You have obtained A NAME I GUESS?

>Check that dumpster behind you





You dive headfirst into that motherfucker.

It appears to be full of TRASH. Finally, something that makes sense.

Oh, wait, something catches your eye. What's that?



You have obtained a SWEET TOTE BAG.

Inside is a LACY HANDKERCHIEF and BOTTLE OF LEMONADE. Your mind is filled with the possibilities these two items combined hold.

The SWEET TOTE BAG also has a symbol on the front flap. You think you recognize it, but with your fuzzy memory it takes you a minute of staring at it to remember.

What is it?

>Look around for other people, alive or otherwise.

There still appears to be no one here but yourself and those lovely corpses from down the lane.

What now?

[Schazer]

Wait, other corpses? Are they up and about like you?

[Jovian]

>The symbol is the same as the sun on your nametag.

>Check on those corpses!

[AvzinElkein]

Also, I know you don't want to use the z-word, but is "ghoul" too much of a pun to be used?

[crash826]

Yeah, you should name yourself after some undead mythology.

PHYLACTERY? PHYLACTERY SULLIVAN?
Or LICHE. LICHE is a nice name.

[GreenCloverGuy]

>Use the lacy handkerchief to clean up blood.
>The symbol is The Jolly Roger flag, of course! What undead pirate would be one without it?

[The Dr.]

I thought the whole premise of not being referred to as a zombie is so to not have to remember that we're dead in the first place?

>The symbol is the same as the sun on your nametag.

>Check on those corpses!

Seconded