Everyone in the dome gave Rose a standing ovation, even Karkat. It wasn't everyday that you saw Rose Lalonde throw out one of the moves that defeated the region's best coordinators. Karkat had to admit, he actually enjoyed her performance. Now if only there weren't so many fans crowding the back-door of the arena, and if only Kanaya didn't convince him to join her in some good old-fashioned heroine worship.
"ROSE I LOVE YOU!" Screamed some sweaty douchebag behind Karkat. To his surprise, the sweaty douchebag was a chick.
"Teach me everything you know!" Yet another douchebag screamed. Arceus, these guys were pathetic.
"Fucking hell, Maryam. Why did you drag me to this shit!?"
"I thought you would enjoy seeing Rose at a more personal level than just admiring her from the bleachers."
"Look, I just fucking heard of the flighty broad this morning. I'm not going to take any of this horseshit just to see her."
"Rapidashit." Kanaya corrected.
"Are all her fans as sad and pathetic as these nook suckers?"
"Yes, they most definitely all are suckers of nook. That was sarcasm by the way."
"Do I have to fucking stay and wait for the crowd to leave with you?"
"You do not need to do so." Which always meant you had to stay, coming from a woman.
"Ah, fuck my life."
As it turns out though, they didn't have to wait long. When yet another of Rose's obsessive fans tried to grab her scarf Alakazam teleported himself and his master away. Enraged, the crowd turned on each other, and in minutes one of the worse coordinator-related riots in Lolar's history ensued. Karkat and Kanaya had to battle their way out of the ruckus, escaping just in time before the police arrived and took the trouble-makers out of the way.
"Well that was a fucking waste of time."
"There is nothing to worry about, Karkat. I am fortunate enough to possess knowledge of Rose's current whereabouts."
"It is a serket." She grinned.
"Whatever. This time, me and Will Smith are heading off to the gym to kick some ass."
"But I would be completely in debt to you should you decide to postpone your gym battle to meet with Rose Lalonde."
Karkat was going to voice his objection to this, but decided to shut up and follow Kanaya. Damn her and that motherly voice she puts on when she asks Karkat to do things with her.
Walking through the maze of narrow alley ways and side streets that made up old Lolar, they headed for a villa far from the city, perched on top of a cliff that was overlooking the sea. It was a pretty simple place, but the large amount of human statues dressed as wizards were a little creepy. And by a little I mean Oshawott sliced one of them to bits when Karkat took him out of his pokeball so Kanaya can touch his fur again.
"And that was one of mother's favorites too." Rose said as she stepped out of the villa to meet Karkat and Kanaya. "Yet another round of my never ending passive-agressive relationship with mother goes to me I suppose."
"Great performance Rose." Kanaya walked up to Rose and hugged her for what seemed like an uncomfortable amount of time for Karkat. If Rose felt the same she didn't show it.
"Thank you Kanaya. And who might I ask is your friend? You don't normally bring boys to the house."
"His name is Karkat Vantas." Kanaya introduced. "I met him on the beach."
"Ah. Tell me, was he playing some pranks on bullying trainers and protecting children?"
"From another perspective, one could say he was teaching the children a valuable lesson and assisting in their growth as trolls and humans."
"He was the one kicking sad in their eyes, wasn't he?"
"Utterly defeating them in battles he knows they cannot win would be a more specific term."
"Really? How chivalrous."
"I'm right here, you snarky broads."
"And so you are. Please, do come in, both of you."
The interior of Rose's villa looked a lot more luxurious than its outside. Cabinets filled with trophies and medals were arrayed next to half-empty bottles of wine. Instead of wielding wands the wizard statues inside held glasses of champagne in a toast. Tentacruel dolls lying on the couch smelled of spilt vodka. The whole place, along with looking way better than anyone's house did back home, also practically screamed 'alcoholic'.
"I apologize for the mess. Mother was feeling rather festive last night after a breakthrough at her lab." Rose picked up some of the bottles and placed them back inside a cupboard.
"Mrs. Lalonde is a pokemon researcher specializing in pokemon genetics." Kanaya explained. "She greatly enjoys the consumption of liquor whenever she is in a celebratory mood."
"Better than the old fart and that fucking insufferable grand daughter of his."
Rose motioned the two to sit down with her on the couch. She threw a pokeball in the air, releasing a charmander in a black cloak that began to serve them non-alcoholic drinks. "Why thank you Viceroy." She picked up a cup of apple juice and took a sip.
"Did you watch my exhibition today? It was quite an invigorating activity."
"Indeed we did. It has been a substantial time since I last saw you use the green sun."
"It's a crowd pleaser, what else can I say?"
"How the hell did you fucking do that green sun bullshit!?" Karkat asked.
"It's very simple really. Mismagius created an orb of darkness through repeated use of Ominous Wind and Shadow Ball. Alakazam then enhances his power through the use of nasty plot, and then teleports into the center of the sphere, where he begins to cover himself in an energy ball. Once the energy ball glows large enough Mismagius will continue to maintain the orb of darkness while alternating it with an energy ball of her own. It's due to this combination that the green sun owes its otherworldy glow. As for its 'solar flares', it was a simple manner of using Alakazam's psychic might to manipulate the energy ball."
Karkat stopped listening when he heard Rose say 'enhances his power'. "Sounds unecessarily elaborate if you ask me."
"John thought it was a good idea." Rose shrugged.
"What!? John. As in John, derpass Egbert!?" Karkat practically jumped out of his seat. "Where the hell did you meet that douchebag, and do you fucking know where he is now?"
Rose seemed surprised. "Why yes, that's the same John whom I travelled with last year. I presume you know him?"
"Know him? Hell, he used to live next door until he thought it was a damn good idea to go travelling around with that derpy Wooper of his and that disgusting snot grimer."
"Ah, Casey." Rose smiled. "John and I used to argue over who got to keep her when she evolved into a Quagsire, until he decided to trade me his charmander here for my Elekid."
"So where the hell is he right now!?"
The temperature in the room began to go down. Rose's smile disappeared, and became a frown. "I...I don't know. I haven't heard from him in a year."
"Don't know!? What, did the fuckass got stuck in an island or something!?"
"Karkat!" Kanaya raised her voice. This seemed extremely out of character for someone like her.
"The last time I saw him we had just watched a friend win the Pokemon League. After that he decided to go into a place he shouldn't have gone at all."
"Place? what fucking place is that?"
"It's best that you don't know."
"Fucking hell, the guy leaves town to go on some dumbass quest and he goes missing. Dumbass."
"In any case, I am most certain that John is alright. He always comes out on top no matter the situation, did you not tell me that Rose?" Kanaya interrupted before the conversation made a turn for the worse.
"Yes, he always does." Rose agreed. "Anyway, I seem to recall that you wanted to travel outside of Lolar, didn't you Kanaya?"
"I have mentioned that before." Kanaya said hesitantly. " But I am afraid Guadalupe and Bilious Slick are not powerful enough to provide protection from some of the stronger pokemon."
"So what." Karkat said grumpily. He already knew what this conversation was headed into. "You need some totally badass trainer with awe-inspiring leadership qualities to protect you?"
"In a manner of speaking, yes." Kanaya said, a little embarassed. "This is most embarassing. I did not mean to offend you."
"Ah, forget it. I don't mind watching out for some flighty motherly broad and her defensless."
"You have my thanks, Karkat. I will try as much as possible to not be a burden to you."
Bluh, that was horrible. At least I got the story progressing a bit.
Doc Scratch rarely admitted his inferiority to anything, but he could not help the feeling of awe that spread through him when he made his rare visits to the Clock Wall. The wall itself stood at the far end of a long vault, cathedral-like in size and scope. The windows, while completely superfluous underground, nonetheless let in a ghostly silver light from some ethereal force, illuminating the dust that floated above the intricate tile mosaic on the floor.
The mosaic is crafted of jade, and obsidian. It depicts a gigantic clock with many hands. The clock is about to strike midnight. All handiwork is of the highest craftfeltsmanship.
The Clock Wall was even more impressive than the mosaic. Hundreds of Klinks, Klangs, and Klinkangs were all connected in a massive, interlocking sprawl of clockwork, ticking away in their echoing chorus of timekeeping. The Clock Wall was, in effect, the perfect clock: Relativity be damned, this kept the universal time of the multiverse.
The mosaic on the floor seemed to shift beneath Doc Scratch’s feet. All hands now pointed to the XII at its crown.
The air in front of the Clock Wall shimmered, becoming jagged and dark around the edges as shadows rippled into open space. The air crackled and warped like static as a form pooled and solidified into a dizzying fractal array of twisted space and sound.
“If that were the case, we would already have been destroyed.”
“Be that as it may, Palkia has yet to reveal itself. It is tucked away within so many pocket dimensions and offshoot universes, and layered with so many traps that it is nigh-on impossible to locate it. The last expedition to Mt. Forge ended in several very confused versions of Admin Revolver. The one before that ended in a universe where half the atoms in the air were gravitational singularities.”
“If that is the case, perhaps another would suffice.”
Missingno seemed to coagulate into tar, splashing on the floor and vanishing without a trace. The air then turned black, not from lack of light, but as if ink was being brushed on the canvas of oxygen. A great pink-red thing floated there, like some great smear of blood, flickering and singing its horrible, eternal song. The smear coalesced, into the familiar shape of a pokeball.
Doc Scratch was motionless for a moment before gently plucking the pokeball out of the air: it seemed to become garbled and distorted at his touch. He stared at its shifting, fractal surface intently.
Doc Scratch turned and walked out of the Cathedral of the Clock Wall, the music ringing in his head, forever.
If you didn't know already, the Pokemon Scratch got was Female
So... not only is Missingno in cahoots with Team English, but it lives in what appears to be a room stolen from Dwarf Fortress?
Do you like Magic: the Gathering? Got ideas for MSPA-inspired cards? Post them here!
Sigspoiler of spoilsigging:
Fervent believer in preserving Internet anonymity.
Perhaps the last person on Earth without a Facebook.
Most easily satisfied audience in paradox space.
I am A Fan. And I am silly.
Generic chummeme: Your chumhandle is maverickLinguist, for your typing style is notable only for its absence of notable quirks. You let the assortment of personalities both naturally occuring and artificially manufactured in your own mind supply the requisite air of the bizarre. Your title is Muse of Thought. Your land is that of Dreams and Thunder.
And Tompkins sigquotes:
Originally Posted by Decker
I love the "whoops." It makes me think it happened by accident.
"Okay. My still life bowl of fruit is com-WHERE DID THESE LESBIANS COME FROM?!"
Originally Posted by LegoTechnic
Also keep in mind that the universe is a frog. It's a good thing to remember any time you start to feel you have a grasp on the celestial logic of the universe, be it the size of suns or the location of the furthest ring, because it reiterates that things can still be inexplicably weird.