TROLLSLUM CAFE V: The Shippers Strike Back

[Captain Whosit]

And so I continue to jealously guard my adopted role as the Trollslum Cafe Progenitor. Otherwise I will quickly lose my relevance. Enjoy the friendly waitstaff of dumb robots, the jukebox that still kinda works, our wide selection of food and drink, convenient recuperacoons for those who can't drag themselves home (or for those who live here), and our "backroom services." Oh, and meet "interesting" and "friendly" people, too.

What a wretched hive of scum and villainy.

Just some rules and regs, not like anyone reads 'em or follows 'em:

Every where you go, there's places like this; a comfortable place, dimly lit, with coffee and couches and books on the shelves and free wifi and, I don't know, a soup of the day. After the sun comes up they put up the shutters and sell alcohol. It's homey, unless your homelife involves caves and monsters that eat people, which it probablv does, because you're a troll.

It's a good place to have a seat and a cup of coffee, and make a friend, which in your language is the same word as enemy, because... you're a troll.

((And if you are maybe a human, which is a thing that doesn't exist, in another univere pretending to be a troll, maybe this is a good place to roleplay in a casual, social, variably canon setting or try out a new character. Please don't poke the setting too hard and please don't go on any murderous rampages. Honk.

EDIT: Feel free to NPC service when you order something, I can't watch this all the time or reply to every comment. For that matter feel free to assume your troll works here and fill someone's order if you want.

EDIT2: OKAY GUESS WE NEED SOME RULES AFTER ALL.

This is really intended to be a loose social setting for people to fool around and chat and try new characters. It is a not great place for a big brawl in the middle of the room that everyone pretty much has to react to. If you are playing a character who is inevitably going to try and hurt people and provoke this kind of thing, you should really think long and hard about bringing them in here for that reason. If a fight comes up in the course of RP, please take it ''outside' instead of disrupting the whole room. It being in the thread is fine, but it should be set somewhere where new people or people who don't want to be involved can ignore it, please. ))

HAVE FUN!!

Thusly Marshie embarked on the most retarded post ever to be made. (Whosit now continues the quest.) If you want on the list, make sure to include your troll's NAME as well as picture and desired quote when you PM me. Disclaimer: I reserve the right to alter or make up the quote if I feel like it or get bored.

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JUST FOR FUN I WELCOME AND ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO PM ME TO GIVE ME DIFFERENT PICTURES OR QUOTES FOR THEIR TROLL, OR TO HAVE IT REMOVED ENTIRELY. I JUST RAN THROUGH A FEW PAGES OF THE THREAD COLLECTING WHOEVER HAPPENED TO BE ON A PAGE SO YOU WILL NOTICE THAT THIS LIST IS INCREDIBLY INCOMPLETE. IF YOU WANT IN THIS FOR WHATEVER REASON I WELCOME AND ENCOURAGE YOU TO PM ME ALL LIKE "HEY YO I WANT IN ON THIS POST FO SHIZZLE HERE'S A PICTURE AND A QUOTE NOW GO TO TOWN" AND I WILL BE ALL LIKE "YEAH NO PROBLEM BRO I WILL MAKE THIS SHIT HAPPEN."

STARRING

SALOM


PLEASE DON'T HURT HIM

Vadosa


BLUH BLUH PSYCHOTIC BITCH (DEAD.)

ERRANN


HE HAS STABS

ERISAL


CYBORG ROMANCE SURE IS WEIRD

RIRFIB


HAS SURPRISINGLY NICE LEGS

KESREA


ANGER MANAGEMENT ISSUES

MITRAH


WELL HIDDEN ANGER MANAGEMENT ISSUES

AZAZEL


HOW DOES KISMESIS WORK

NETRONN


SECRETLY A SHIPPER

JOREAK


HE’S IN YOUR HEAD

EREBUS


UNDISPUTED CHAMPION OF HORRIBLE RAP BATTLES

MISDRA


WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK

LAASYA


EYES THAT WILL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL

CHARON


STOP READING BOOKS FOR GIRLS

CHARYB


HANDS OFF THE MASK

SHIVIA


SHE AIN’T DEAD, FOLKS

AVA


QUESTIONABLY SPANISH???

CORAYA


POETRY IS EASY SOCIALIZING IS HARD

AVIGAD


THERE'S ADVENTURE TO BE HAD

ALKIMA


SOME KIND OF FREAK

BRAINBOT


HE IS A DISEMBODIED BRAIN CONTROLLING A WARMACHINE

ROGER


WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT THE HELL

HATYARA


EVERYTHING'S BETTER WITH EXPLODING BULLS

MAZENI


CRUSHING ON EVERYONE AND NOT EVEN TRYING TO HIDE IT

Gnor Krens


ALL STITCHED UP


This Guy


SERIOUSLY HATES CLOWNS

Mellivora


BREAKING YOUR DOORS AND STEALING YOUR WOMEN

Pranrok Nosirap


HE'S SO LONELY

Lamiaria Umbraneo


EVEN HER SHADOWS ARE COOLER THAN HER

Zagaya


WHAT A COOL GULLIBLE FUCKWAD

Malae


HIVELESS STREET-SCUM

Kilesh


HE SAYS HELLO

Savias


THE VERY MOST POLITE

Coorbak


FLAMING ICY DOUCHE

Dorgaea


SILLINESS HATER

Orim


THE LAST HERO

Xaroth


GAMBLING WITH EVERYTHING BUT MONEY

Karthis


DO WHAT YOU WANT FOR A PIRATE IS EMOTIONALLY CHALLENGED

Aeoyla

CHEERFUL CRYSTAL COLLECTING BITCH

Cannel


BLINDNESS HAS BEEN FOISTED ON HIM LIKE A HOLIDAY FRUITCAKE

Plader


WHO'S YOUR DADDY

[FlyingFrogSlash]

Baelra Shivers and Nuzzles against Sariyg

~^~ Does everyone sh-shout so much up h-here? ~^~

((AH Yes...A BRAND...NEW THREAAAAAD~))

[A person]

Albus says to everyone in the cafe:


GLUB GLUB Woooooooooow! So many people in this GLUBBING cafe! GLUB! GLUB!

[uncannyUroboros]

((Yay indeed! Maybe I cam sprite up some things for my friend and have her join us tonight.~ Oh, I can hope.))

[A person]

((Also, where did most of the original cast go?))

[Captain Whosit]

((IRC Chat, mainly. Salom may return, though. Maybe.... maybe.))

[privateTenderloin]

((I can bring someone if you guys want))

[FlyingFrogSlash]

((everytime I go to IRC...It degenerates to Hot Lesbian Alien Sex))

[privateTenderloin]

((You make that sound like a bad thing ))

[A person]

((Oh gog, I want to bring in a creeper or something. That'd be so much fun.))


((Did I say creeper? I meant to say a creature that is like a creeper.))

[SumiumOxide]

((Well some people can't appreciate the art of it PT.))

Erisal suddenly appears at the counter, and orders something to drink. She sits down and begins counting.

[aceFresca]

((everytime I go to IRC...It degenerates to Hot Lesbian Alien Sex))

YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH LESBIAN ALIEN SEX?

yeah we all use the IRC now. BECAUSE IT'S THE BEST

[A person]

((*clueless as to what IRC is*))

[redRevolvers]

Hmnnn....hnn...h-huh?
You sit up. Damn it all, you must have dozed off again.

[A person]

Hmnnn....hnn...h-huh?
You sit up. Damn it all, you must have dozed off again.

Albus walks up to the human.



GLUB GLUB Hello sir! Wait a minute...aren't you a human? What are you doing on Alternia? GLUB! GLUB!

[FlyingFrogSlash]

((No..you don't understand...I"m Not opposed to it...AT ALL...But everytime things actually start getting interesting...my internet dies on me T_T))
((On that note, I''m sorry for disappearing last night Sumium! ))

[redRevolvers]

You rub your temples. This is not the kind of thing you wanted to wake up to.
Ugh.....it's a really long story, and I don't feel like telling it again for the billionth time.
What the hell are you doing here?

[Crumblehop]

After being chased away by Zagaya, Pranrok sits down.

[FlyingFrogSlash]

((Ok...Well Baelra Is currently Trying to talk to Sariyg

[redRevolvers]

((#trollchat is the usual IRC channel, right? Or does the cafe have its own?))

[Rio]

((Wow, I expected this to be further ahead when I got back,))

Razel smiles at the red blood and offers him her box of crayons.

[A person]

You rub your temples. This is not the kind of thing you wanted to wake up to.
Ugh.....it's a really long story, and I don't feel like telling it again for the billionth time.
What the hell are you doing here?

GLUB GLUB I...uh...got...out of one of the planets? GLUB! GLUB!

[DarkParable]

Cannel leans heavily against the counter and against Unaany. The alcohol finally comes full circle, and his sense of balance is off, the outlines he can see are fuzzy shapes, and by god is Unaany doesn't feel nice to nuzzle against. He practically purrs as he leans into her, and while he's not heavy, he's also not exaclty feather-light.

H-h====y h==y lov=y h=h=h= you ar= ssssso comfyyyyyy~ ---)

He giggles to himself a little.

[DizzySpecibus]

Cannel leans heavily against the counter and against Unaany. The alcohol finally comes full circle, and his sense of balance is off, the outlines he can see are fuzzy shapes, and by god is Unaany doesn't feel nice to nuzzle against. He practically purrs as he leans into her, and while he's not heavy, he's also not exaclty feather-light.

H-h====y h==y lov=y h=h=h= you ar= ssssso comfyyyyyy~ ---)

He giggles to himself a little.

Unaany grins when Cannel leans into her, that definitely helps with the tingle that alcohol gave her. She just grins at Cannel, he's very obviously drunk, he doesn't seem like he's going to be reckless or anything, just lovey, and very possibly silly. She nuzzles up to him and responds happily.

You wonk, you're ytterp comfy ot.

-----

Sarigy looks at Baelra, she thinks a second before responding to her question.

I hear quite a feeeeew of them are shoooouty, but I also know plenty are nice and kiiiiiiind. Like me and Karthis!

She says with a grin, sipping on her soda before holding it out to Baelra.

Wanna sip?

[redRevolvers]

You rub your temples. This is not the kind of thing you wanted to wake up to.
Ugh.....it's a really long story, and I don't feel like telling it again for the billionth time.
What the hell are you doing here?

GLUB GLUB I...uh...got...out of one of the planets? GLUB! GLUB!

Alternia ain't exactly a hop, skip, and a jump away from the Incipisphere. What did you do?