MSPA Fanfiction VI: Trashy Rainbow Drinker Fanfiction

[sebastian]

There are some people who sleep at 4am, but I am not one of them. No, instead I write overly serious fanfiction.

This idea is currently a mini-series in my head, but who knows what will happen to it. I'll only write more if anyone is interested. So I claim.

What it Takes

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I totally imagined playing this out like an action RPG as I read through it, just so you know

Also I got the idea that the reason Karkat is pretty much Superman here is because he's still on the top level of the echeladder while Jade's still on like, the third rung

Anyway I'm rambling now, but the point is, I liked this a lot

That, and trolls take natural selection very seriously.

And I liked it, too, aC, write more, please.

[Sporkaganza]

Baccanostuck

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DefaultProtagonist [DP] opened memo on board Funky Jazz Train Ride

DP: Just wanted to check on everyone now that we're all in the game

TearfulSavior responded to memo

TS: oh god firo, why is this place so big and scary ;-;
TS: and i can't find nice anywhere ;-;

ExplosiveRogue [ER] responded to memo

ER: Im fine jacuzzi dont worry
TS: oh nice, i'm so glad you're safe ;-;
TS: if anything happened to you i wouldn't know what to do ;-;
ER: Are those
ER: Are those rocket launchers
ER: Aimed at giant bombs
ER: I have to try these babies out right now
TS: i don't think that's a good idea nice ;-;
ER: Oh god look at all these explosions
ER: Oh god oh god oh god oh yes
ER: I think i need a towel
TS: nice i did not need to know that ;-;
DP: Well at least you two got into your worlds safely
DP: Don't worry Jacuzzi, once you get farther into the game you'll be able to meet up with Nice
TS: really ;-;
DP: Yes

AdolescentSurvivalist [AS] responded to memo

AS: what Have you Gotten us Into this Time firo.
AS: i'm Trapped inside My room In the Middle of A pit Of caramel
DP: Hey, I thought we were just playing a harmless game too.
DP: I didn't expect it to have world-changing consequences.

Passionate Hydrangea [PH] responded to memo

PH: AND THAT'S THE FIRST MISTAKE YOU MADE WHEN PLAYING THIS GAME FIRO
PH: and that's the first mistake!
PH: YOU SHOULD'VE REALIZED THAT ALL GAMES EVER PLAYED IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND HAVE CAUSED IREVERSABLE EFFECTS TO OUR PLANET
PH: that's right!
PH: LIKE DURING THE LAST CAMPAIGN OF ALEXANDER THE GREAT WHEN HE WAS DEFEATED BY LIU BEI IN A GAME OF TENNIS
PH: but Isaac, tennis hasn't been invented yet in Alexander the great's time!
PH: AU CONTRAIRE MY DEAR MIRIA, THE CHINESE ARE AN ADVANCED CIVILIZATION WHO'VE INVENTED MANY THINGS WE WESTERNERS HAVE PICKED UP ONLY NOW, AND ONE OF THESE THINGS IS TENNIS
PH: incredible!
TS: at least you guys are together isaac miria ;-;
TS: i sure hope nice and i can reunite soon ;-;
AS: ugh I have Marzipan all Over my Feet
AS: why Is this World so Full of Candy
TS: its better than what this world has ;-;
TS: theres a lot of really pointy spikes and im afraid i might poke an eye out if i trip ;-;
AS: eh I'd rather Be in Your world
AS: felmet Used to Drive burning Hot pokers Through my Retinas
AS: painful But over A period Of 10 Years it Seems like A cakewalk Compared to The other shit He's put Me through
TS: ;-;
DP: Too much information Czes
PH: hey Isaac?
PH: YES MIRIA
PH: is Czeslaw a guru?
PH: WHY DO YOU ASK MIRIA
PH: well aren't gurus supposed to have magic powers that make them resistant to pain? maybe he has guru powers that he's never told us about!
PH: THAT IS A POSSIBILITY MIRIA BUT WE NEED TO SEE HIM LEVITATE FIRST. LEVITATION IS A SURE SIGN OF GURUDOM AND ONCE WE SEE CZESLAW LEVITATE WE CAN ASK HIM TO TEACH US HIS MYSTIC GURU SECRETS
PH: incredible!
AS: you Guys are Impossible

MurderMaster [MM] responded to memo

MM: God these imps are so fun to stab!
MM: Too bad they blow up instead of bleeding to death though!
ER: Oh they do do they
ER: Im going to need a lot more towels than i have right now
ER: Be right back Jacuzzi ill talk to you later

ExplosiveRogue [ER] ceased responding to memo

TS: uwah nice don't go ;-;
TS: why did you include this guy too ;-;
TS: he's a complete nutjob ;-;
MM: Says the guy screwing the chick with the bomb fetish!
MM: But I aint passing judgement, theres nothing wrong with that!
MM: POW! Right in the kisser! Hang on you bozos I'm gonna kill some more of these wimps!

Murder Master [MM] ceased responding to memo

DP: Well at least he won't be using his talents on us for now.
DP: And I already told you earlier Jacuzzi, Ronnie was the one who sent out copies of the game, I only found out he was joining when he told me was my server player by trying to stab me with every knife in the kitchen.
TS: i'm just thankful he's the only knife wielding nutjob in this game right now ;-;

Expert Disemboweler [ED] responded to memo

E >>p-shaw, this game's a little too easy if you ask me
AS: oh God
ED : >> oh hey there little guy, how's that arm of yours

AS: stay Away from Me

Adolescent Survivalist [AS] ceased responding to memo

ED : >> jeez I was just being nice to the guy
ED : >> it's not like I can kill him permanently anyway
DP: Vino what did I told you about threatening the other players?
ED : >> hey I was just making some small talk, nothing wrong with that
TS: well he was being nice Firo ;-;
TS: even if he's really really scary ;-;
ED : >> hey now that really hurts me emotionally, ya know
ED : >> maybe you should be more sensitive of other people's feelings
PH: HE'S RIGHT JACUZZI
PH: definitely right!
PH: JUST BECAUSE YOU GO ON KILLING SPREES DIRECTED AT EVIL DOERS MULTIPLE TIMES DOESN'T MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE FEELINGS
PH: assassins have feelings too!
TS: i gotta go everyone ;-;
TS: i think an imp's heading into my room ;-;
ED : >> you can take 'em
ED : >> I'm killing these things with one hand tied behind my back

Tearful Savior [TS] ceased responding to memo

ED : >> man this game is soooo easy
ED : >> I thought you were gonna give me a challenge man
DP: That's because we didn't prototype anything dangerous to our sprites.
DP: Apparently what we put into our sprites affects the creatures in game.
ED : >>man you shoulda told me earlier
ED : >> I'd have prototyped myself if I did
DP: I don't think you're supposed to do that Vino.
ED : >> whatever
ED : >> oh hey whats this
ED : >> looks like soomeone prototyped the flying pussyfoot
ED : >> some of the imps look like trains now
DP: What!? Who prototyped a train into their kernel sprite!?

IntrepidCourier [IC] responded to memo

IC: oopS
IC: sorrY abouT thaT everyonE
DP: Rachel what did you do!?
DP: What did you do!
IC: looK i waS abouT tO placE a deaD spideR i founD wheN thE kernelspritE jusT fleW towardS thE traiN
ED : >>now I'm feeling rather reluctant about killing these imps
ED : >> I met the most beautiful girl in the world on board the flying pussyfoot and that's where we all first met
ED : >> there's no way I'm going to kill anything that reminds me of my memories on board that train
PH: VINO IS RIGHT
PH: yes he is!
PH: WE CAN'T JUST MERCILESSLY SLAUGHTER OUR PRECIOUS MEMORIES
PH: they're very very important!
ED : >> and now I'm okay with it
ED : >> be right back everyone, gonna go kill some precious memories

Expert Disemboweler [ED] ceased responding to memo

PH: ISNT VINO SUCH A GREAT MAN MIRIA
PH: how come, Isaac!
PH: HE REALIZED THAT IN DIFFUCLT TIMES LIKE THESE WE HAVE TO MAKE SACRIFICES EVEN IF WE HAVE TO KILL OUR MEMORIES
PH: you're so right Isaac!
PH: LETS GO FOLLOW HIS EXAMPLE MIRIA AND KILL OUR MEMORIES
PH: let's go hang ourselves upside down until the rushing of blood into our heads gives us amnesia!
PH: THATS RIGHT

Passionate Hydrangea [PH] ceased responding to memo

DP: Well at least everyone's okay, right Rachel?
IC: iT coulD bE worsE FirO
IC: i guesS i'lL gO explorE thiS neW worlD noW
DP: Good luck. Might as well close this memo too.

Intrepid Courier [IC] ceased responding to memo
Default Protagonist[DP] closed memo

prototyping the train was not something that I expected them to do.Well, no matter.

A/N

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I checked the last thread and I saw that no one made a baccano! crossover yet, so I decided to do this rather than update my pokemon/homestuck crossover.

YES. You are the best for writing this.

[mewtant-307k]

Sexy tea making?

WHAT

I LOVE IT

Also What It Takes was sweet. I can't wait to read more! The acknowledgment of a language barrier was especially enticing for some reason

[Doodled]

More promptfic:

Jade Harley / Tavros Nitram
Spider

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GG: it wont hurt you tavros!
AT: aRE YOU SURE,
GG: completely sure
GG: so you can get off now
AT: oH,
AT: sORRY ABOUT THAT,

From looking at Tavros, you wouldn’t actually think he would have the agility necessary to suddenly leap into Jade’s arms.

And you would be wrong.

From looking at Jade, you would think that even if Tavros did leap into her arms, she wouldn’t actually be able to hold him for any great length of time.

And sadly you would be right this time.

Still, Tavros got off just as soon as he dared. And despite Jade’s reassurances, he still stared at the spider in the middle of the room with evident horror.

GG: cant you just talk to it?
GG: you talk to other insects
AT: yES, bUT THEY’RE JUST INSECTS,
AT: sPIDERS ARE SOMETHING DIFFERENT,
AT: aND THAT SOMETHING IS NOT A THING THAT I AM ENTIRELY COMFORTABLE WITH,
GG: just commune with it already you big baby!
AT: nO,
GG: do iiiiiit!
AT: jADE,
AT: i KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO DO,
AT: aND I APPRECIATE IT,
AT: bUT YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY IT’S NOT GOING TO WORK,
AT: i WILL NEVER BE OKAY WITH SPIDERS,
AT: jUST,
AT: mAKE IT GO AWAY,
AT: pLEASE,
GG: okay fine!
GG: jeeeeeez!!!
GG: do you want me to kill it?
AT: nO,
AT: i DON’T THINK THAT SPIDER HAS DONE ANYTHING BAD,
AT: aND IT SHOULDN’T DIE JUST BECAUSE I’M SCARED OF IT,
GG: how about i just put it outside?
GG: would that be okay?
AT: yES,
AT: tHAT WAY IT COULD LIVE ITS OWN LIFE,
AT: bUT I WOULD NOT HAVE TO INTERACT WITH IT,
AT: wHICH I THINK WOULD BE FOR THE BEST,

Jade walked up to the little arachnid and picked it up, staring at the tiny thing. Honestly, it was smaller than a grain of rice! Tavros was definitely overreacting.

Still, when a girl makes friends with trolls, she has to get used to certain idiosyncrasies. So she opened a window and let the little thing go.

GG: there
GG: no more spiders for tavros!

It meant more than she knew.

Awww...

Okayyyyyyyy, so four days ago somebody rolled "Vriska/Becquerel - Sexy Tea Making" on the story generator and I said I'd write it.

SO I DID.

Vriska/Becquerel - Sexy Tea Making

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“27 degrees 1 minute north, 88 degrees 28 minutes east”. Vriska worked the dials on the appearifier, zeroing in on the precious cargo.

Whoosh! The machine grabbed a plant, dumping it unceremoniously on the appearifier platform. Dirt crumbled off the roots, leaving a dirty mess all over the intricately carved surface. She snapped it up and started pulling off the buds. Nothing was going to stop this exquisitely sexy tea party from going off without a hitch.

The first guardian of earth sat motionless and expressionless nearby, watching patiently. Or at least that’s how you might describe it if you weren’t aware that “sitting”, “watching”, and “patience” were all concepts completely irrelevant to omnipoterriers (and we both fucking know that). But whatever.

Vriska stuffed a handful of slightly manhandled, lightly irradiated tea leaves into a pot. She felt pretty lucky to have found the ONE teapot with a spider-web motif out of the whole pile. If Nepeta missed it, she hadn’t let on.

She filled a kettle with a pint of heavy water drained from the coolant tank of a disused reactor in the lab, and hung it over a bunsen burner. In retrospect, this was a pretty convenient location to serve irradiated beverages to a stoic, canine demigod. The water came to a rolling boil and she topped off the webbed teapot, allowing the leaves to float around. In just a couple minutes the infusion was ready.

Vriska turned down the laboratory lights. Placing the teapot, a small cup, and a dog dish on an appearified serving tray, she knelt down next to a table, the legs cut off to make it a more dog-friendly height. She wasn’t really sure what it was about Beq that attracted her. Oh wait, yes she was – the fact that she basically created him, coupled with a pathological addiction to power. How could she forget? Tangibility and species are as overrated as power is sexy.

She poured the tea, filling his doggie dish first before pouring herself a cup. The soft green glow of the radioactive drink complimented Beq’s healthy coat. He lapped it once before warping it out of the room. Years prior and in another universe a small teapot appeared in orbit around a star between two planets named Earth and Mars. Nobody would ever see it again.

Vriska tried again. Perhaps the half-life was too short and it got cold? Is that a thing that even matters to beings simultaneously experiencing nearly limitless sensory input? Or maybe he was just playing hard to get. A game perhaps? He knew her so well. She smiled slyly and brewed another pot, this time with an adorable blue purrsian motif.

She set out a new bowl and filled it with a new infusion. Within seconds the new bowl and pot materialized in some poor jerk’s load gaper, 40 years prior. So frustrating! Five more pots and bowls teleported through space and time, gone forever as far as she knew. Nepeta’s gonna be so pissed off.

Vriska slumped down next to the last teapot and the remains of a tea plant, nearly plucked clean. What was wrong? Who on earth could salvage this sexy tea party? And then it hit her…something John had said. Oh yes, who on earth indeed.

She approached the appearifier one last time, purposefully adjusting the dials to target the last ingredient. The machine zapped it up, dropping the goods onto the platform. She dusted them off, and dropped them into the final pot. “Eighth time’s the charm”, she chuckled coyly.

Bringing another pint of water to boil, she added in the last of the tea leaves and filled the pot one last time. She marched to the table and kneeled down, pouring a fresh bowl triumphantly before him.

Beq slurped it once. Twice. Three times. He nodded, just the slightest acknowledgement. She might have imagined it, but the tea stayed put until he lapped the bowl clean. At last, the perfect brew. Though it tasted a little odd, she finished off her cup and set it down gingerly.

And then a moment later, they were gone, leaving behind the telltale signs of a splendid tea party, the agony of defeat at last giving way to the agony of the leaves, as they completed the dance of their exquisite game.

On the table, next to her glasses, three crumpled foil wrappers still contained dusty traces of their contents: steak bouillon. In the end, all that was ever needed was a handful of little cubes. Betty Crocker, you magnificent lass!

I included several tea related easter eggs in here (three in total). Can you spot them?

O_O

WAT.

[A Fan]

Also What It Takes was sweet. I can't wait to read more! The acknowledgment of a language barrier was especially enticing for some reason

Personally, I'm hoping for some manner of alchemized translation eyewear that automatically adds subtitles. I don't know why, but I like the idea. That, or steer an offshoot of the main Genesis Frog line until Babel Fish are produced.

[pimudragonfeline]

Good bye and thanks for all the fish.

[Kawa]

*disappears in a puff of logic*

[SkaianRedeemer]

@ProspitDreamer: Enjoying this, especially the language barrier. I originally thought Jade's rescuer might have been Nepeta, for a moment, since she was so adamant it was an imp I assumed it was "unarmed," but then I caught up!

@C20710: That's some story generator we've got if that prompt is buried in it. Well handled.

@MizukoMidori: Well it's an interesting start so I'm eager to see you get to the heart of it! I laughed out loud at calling the lab "some kind of weird Sburb purgatory." Yup.

[kaoticAntagonist]

The tag is new.

[SkaianRedeemer]

It's shiny, I like it.

[Megafire]

Homesick chapter 6: Peter: Enter is up.

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The Kernelsprite is messed up in this universe, apparently.

And the first Homesick character has entered!

Yeah, this chapter is kind of a mess, but I do have some justification for that.

Namely the fact that Peter is kind of a mess at the moment too.

[Kawa]

It's shiny, I like it.

Mine are shinier.

[C20710]

Here are the easter eggs from the Vriska/Beq Sexy Tea fic.

1) If you enter the coordinates Vriska enters into the appearifier into google map, it targets the Pattabong Tea Garden just north of Darjeeling, India (world renowned for it's black teas). Try it!

2) "Russel's Teapot" is an analogy related to burden of proof discussions on religion, described as a small teapot orbiting the sun between Earth and Mars. It's implied there is no teapot in orbit between these two planets. Kawa spotted this one already - awesome!

3) The line "the agony of defeat at last giving way to the agony of the leaves", refers to the loose tea leaf opening during steeping (a process termed "the agony of the leaves")

[Embargo]

Fuck yeah, new shiny tags! Also, that story generator is awesome.

That's all I have to add to the conversation.

[mutecebu]

Oooh, we have a colorful tag! Yet doodle when you do it is still stickied... 0_0

[NotASenator]

Oooh, we have a colorful tag! Yet doodle when you do it is still stickied... 0_0

Why wouldn't it be?

[SeptimusMagistos]

I'm pretty sure I remember seeing at least one version of this conversation, and also that this will be rendered contrary to canon soon enough. But it took about two hundred prompts to get these characters to line up, and I'm not wasting that effort.

Aradia Megido / Equius Zahhak
Dreams

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Equius was being shaken. His face hurt and he was very disoriented and he didn’t know what was happening.

And then Aradia pulled him into a kiss and all was right with the world.

And then things changed. Cold metal became warm flesh under his hands and the lips he was kissing felt softer than anything in the world. Without thinking, he threw his arms open and pulled away, because he was touching someone, someone who wasn’t made of metal, and oh god were they okay?

And he saw that yes, they were, and moreover that ‘they’ were Aradia, only no longer the robot he had built but a living, breathing Aradia, wearing a cosplaying getup. And that reminded him of a memory he hadn’t lived yet and another and another. . .

CT: D --> Oh, dear

For a moment, he took the form he had last held. His eyes bulged out and rolled upward; his face swelled and acquired an unpleasant shade; his mouth twisted into a stupid grin. But almost immediately he suppressed the impulse and returned to the way he preferred to perceive himself. To be exact, the way that involved not being strangled.

CT: D --> I remember now
CT: D --> I am deceased
AA: yes
AA: s0rry :(
CT: D --> They say you sh001d be careful what you wish for
CT: D --> But I don’t think I wished for that
AA: n0
AA: y0u didnt bring it 0n y0urself
AA: its just s0mething that happened
CT: D --> You don’t feel dead
AA: i am very much alive! :)
CT: D --> E%cellent

Equius was growing more and more relaxed. The scenic Land around him transformed into the familiar confines of his hive. He stared at his hand and a glass appeared there. Beginning to grin, he squeezed it with all his strength. The seemingly delicate material held against the force. He brought the glass up to his lips and allowed lusus milk to pour down his throat.

AA: w0w!
AA: y0u are g00d at this!
CT: D --> This poses no challenge to me
CT: D --> It’s just like 100cid dreaming
AA: y0u can d0 that?
AA: h0w c0me?
CT: D --> Well, you see, I was going through the dictionary. . .
AA: never mind
AA: i think i get the picture! :p
CT: D --> Well, e%cuse me
CT: D --> Some of us require research for our typing quirks
CT: D --> We can’t simply replace a single letter and call it a day
CT: D --> l00k at me every0ne
CT: D --> my quirk is immediately 0bvi0us in the c0urse 0f a n0rmal sentence!
CT: D --> That is you, by the way
AA: i g0t that yeah

The confines of the hive were shifting around. Outside the window, an archery range sprang up, complete with the beautiful, unbroken bows. Some of the robots were busily repairing themselves.

AA: l00ks like y0ure g0ing t0 d0 0kay in here
CT: D --> I believe I will, yes
CT: D --> This is why you didn’t say goodbye
CT: D --> You knew we w001d meet like this
AA: yup!
AA: we were always g0ing t0 have met again
AA: s0 i th0ught that instead 0f saying g00dbye
AA: it might be nice t0 say hell0 instead! :)
CT: D --> We won’t keep meeting like this, though
AA: n0 i guess n0t :(
AA: i like seeing y0u again
AA: but like i said i am alive
AA: and i d0nt intend t0 die f0r a l0ng time
CT: D --> That’s good
CT: D --> Please try to make sure as few of our compatriots as possible join me here in a permanent capacity
CT: D --> And perhaps we can make the most out of whatever time we might have together

Equius had never had the chance to kiss Aradia in the flesh. Before he had the chance to bestow his gift upon her, she did not regard him very fondly at all. And besides, in the real world his touch would have harmed her. But here he could touch anything he pleased without breaking anything or sweating.

He took reasonably full advantage of that ability.

Time passed, or maybe it didn’t. But dream bubbles don’t last forever; sooner or later those who intersect drift apart, at least for a time. Aradia and Equius both felt the Paradox space tugging away at her.

CT: D --> I think it’s time to say goodbye
CT: D --> At least for the moment
CT: D --> I hope I will get the chance to see you again
AA: 0h i think y0u will be seeing plenty 0f me!
AA: i may have m0n0p0lized s0me 0f y0ur time
AA: but n0w that y0ure awake y0ure g0ing t0 get plenty 0f visit0rs! :)
CT: D --> That smile 100ks strangely sinister
CT: D --> Please e%plain your meaning
AA: lets just say
AA: there is s0mething 0f an imbalance between the number 0f dead versi0ns 0f y0u and dead versi0ns 0f me

Equius suspected what he would see when he looked up, and he wasn’t disappointed. There were at least two dozen different versions of Aradia floating in mid-air. None of them wore the godhood, but some were fully organic while others had, for reasons known only to themselves, chosen to retain their robotic shapes.

CT: D --> Oh my

It took quite a while before Equius got a chance to practice his archery.

[ProspitDreamer]

*Stares at all the good reviews in awe*

Okay well I guess I'm writing more of this now!

Responses to all the awesome comments I got:

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Karkat's impatience seems to have rubbed off on Jade in the beginning, but I like how you bubbly you made her elsewhere.

Thanks! In the beginning I just imagined even Jade would be cranky in the heat of a battle she was losing.

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This:

I lol'd at "he was fast" and expected this to become more of a twilight parody but it was too good.

along with this:

@ProspitDreamer:
b) I unconsciously skipped a few paragraphs after the "he was fast" line. I only understood why when I read Mirdan's reaction.

made me go

I need to fix this. Karkat isn't some super-Edwardy type guy. He's just stronger and faster than a human would be- but he's no Equius. Thank you everyone for your constructive feedback!

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I totally imagined playing this out like an action RPG as I read through it, just so you know

Does that mean I described the action well? Because action scenes are traditionally a challenge for me, so...that makes me happy.

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@ ProspitDreamer: Urgh, quit feeding my love of Jade/Karkat! I'm a Karkat/Terezi shipper, dammit! -in denial-

*Pats dA on the shoulder* It's okay. I consistently ship both John/Karkat and Jade/Karkat and am always choosing between them. The great part about ships is you can sail lots of them at once! You will find better inner peace once you're able to admit to yourself that you probably have several conflicting ships. And that it's 0kay.

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What It Takes - now you're making me ship this how could you

Sexy Tea - now you're making me ship this how could you

It looks like you're in danger of sailing all of the ships, my friend.

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There are some people who sleep at 4am, but I am not one of them. No, instead I write overly serious fanfiction.

This idea is currently a mini-series in my head, but who knows what will happen to it. I'll only write more if anyone is interested. So I claim.

What it Takes

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I totally imagined playing this out like an action RPG as I read through it, just so you know

Also I got the idea that the reason Karkat is pretty much Superman here is because he's still on the top level of the echeladder while Jade's still on like, the third rung

Anyway I'm rambling now, but the point is, I liked this a lot

That, and trolls take natural selection very seriously.

Yes, that second thing is what I had in mind. In my head cannon, the trolls are just a lot stronger than humans, I'd say "naturally", except the trolls bred themselves that way on purpose.

Karkat obviously came off too strong, though; I hadn't meant that to be much of a focal point. I'll have to tone him down (if he'll let me).

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Also What It Takes was sweet. I can't wait to read more! The acknowledgment of a language barrier was especially enticing for some reason

Personally, I'm hoping for some manner of alchemized translation eyewear that automatically adds subtitles. I don't know why, but I like the idea. That, or steer an offshoot of the main Genesis Frog line until Babel Fish are produced.

Haha, yeah, once I had the thought "wait, what if the trolls don't speak English?", there was no possible way of me not including this fact in my story.

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@ProspitDreamer: Enjoying this, especially the language barrier. I originally thought Jade's rescuer might have been Nepeta, for a moment, since she was so adamant it was an imp I assumed it was "unarmed," but then I caught up!

Haha, now you have me curious as to what point you figured out who it was!

Also:

@ MizukoMidori:

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So I meant to write something about humans meeting trolls in person and it turned into srs business. Idk how that even happened, but it will eventually turn into what it started out as. My first reeeaaal attempt at Homestuck fiction.

I present to you: Under Different Circumstances

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John wasn’t entirely sure how he ended up here... wherever here was. He just woke up after a particularly non favorable run in with Jack Noir. Remembering that, he sat up suddenly looking around for... Well for anything. Where he was, where his friends were, where Jack was. This was no longer the Land of Wind and Shade. Actually, it looked a lot like the lab where created the four of them, but without that specific bit of machinery. It looked pretty trashed too; broken glass everywhere, and mostly empty.

With a groan he stood up. His head...hurt? It did, but not as bad as he thought it should have. He didn’t feel dead either, and he was pretty sure he should be dead. That confrontation had not been going well. Rose had been running out of steam, and Dave, at that point he didn’t even have a clue what Dave was doing. He was busy trying to keep Jade alive.

They didn’t seem to be in this abandoned lab room though. Did they fail? Maybe this was some weird Sburb purgatory. That would make sense. John made a face at one of the desks. This was just perfect. He hadn’t even gotten the chance to fall in love with Rose and marry her like he was supposed to. Bluh.

Heaving a huge sigh he picked his way over the broken remains of beakers and whatever else, to the door on the opposite wall. He tried it carefully and it opened easily enough; it didn’t even dump a bucket of water on his head, which was admittedly a relief at the moment. He sort of felt like maybe he might just, kind of, cry, a little, if that happened. A little bit. Karkat had told him time and time again that he was the leader and leaders were absolutely the fuck not supposed to fucking cry. So John really did not want to cry.

As he stepped into the next room something whizzed passed his head and stuck in the wall behind him. He yelled and ducking throwing his hands up to cover his face. Holy cow! Who was throwing things at him, at a time like this?

“Oh. John. It is you. My apologies.”

“Rose!” Oh thank god!

Hurrying over to her he put a gentle hand on her shoulder, looking her over quickly. She seemed to be uninjured. Immediately he felt himself relax. At least one of his friends was still alive, and that was something. Maybe he and Rose were the only ones left and they would have to repopulate the whole human race? That’s a dumb thought, John, not the time. Maybe later. Especially since, getting a closer look at her he noticed her eyes were sort of red and puffy. She’d been... crying? (Honestly John didn’t think she was capable of crying.)

“Hey, hey. Rose, what’s wrong? Do you know where we are?”

She sniffed and without looking at him. “No. I have no clue where it is we are. All I know is Dave brought us here.”

“Dave? Aww yeah! I knew he was awesome, with all his cool time powers. Is he here?”

It took her a moment to answer and he could have sworn he heard a choked sound before she spoke. “He’s.... John, Dave sacrificed himself to bring us here.”

Oh.... Well....

Damn....

His hand dropped from her shoulder and once again he was holding back tears. Dave was his best best buddy. Sure, he could be mean, a little harsh sometimes, but he always came through. Apparently ‘till the end. Crap. He sat suddenly on the floor next to her feeling that his legs weren’t really supportive anymore.

“What about...” He couldn’t bring himself to ask.

Thankfully he didn’t have to. Rose shook her head, “I have not seen Jade. I don’t know if she is here or not.” She wiped idly at her face and took a deep breath.

John just nodded, unable to say anything else, and just focused on not crying. More so now that Rose was crying, or had been crying. But man, Dave sacrificing himself was almost too much to handle, and he thought he’d handled this whole session pretty well so far. If there was one thing he was sure of through all of this though, was that Jack Noir was going to pay. Big time.

Authors Notes:

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Like I said, it was supposed to be about the trolls meeting the kids in person. Specifically Vriska and John, because I was in a super Vriska/John mood earlier. I started writing and srs business popped out. o.o There will be eventual Vriska/John, and possibly others. I'm open to suggestions, but no guarantees I'll follow them. But I pretty much ship everyone/everyone so...

Please let me know what you guys think? I thrive on feedback and it encourages me to write more! : D

This made me sad . You described John's emotions well and I loved the part where he was shocked to find Rose crying. I liked it, but I felt it was lacking "meat"- a main plot event or character realization/ change. It sort of leaves you hanging, curious about what's going on but not really giving you any clues or leads about it. I loved the part where John finds the strength to not cry based on something Karkat said, though. That was excellent.

@fluffy:

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Sexy tea making?

WHAT

I LOVE IT

Haha, adding steak bullion at the end, because he's a dog...that was adorably cute.

[Sporkaganza]

Um, this isn't really on topic, but shouldn't the Homestuck prompt generator be in the op?

[SkaianRedeemer]

@ProspitDreamer: Nothing stylish, really. After Jade identified him as "he," it was good odds on Karkat. Even in ficverses where everyone's still alive, Jade doesn't know very many of them...

[battlerek]

@Prospitian Dreamer- I'm surprised no one's praised you for your good fight scenes.

@Sporkaganza- Baccano's one of my favorite anime. Glad to see there's some fans of it on the forum.

[Sporkaganza]

@Prospitian Dreamer- I'm surprised no one's praised you for your good fight scenes.

@Sporkaganza- Baccano's one of my favorite anime. Glad to see there's some fans of it on the forum.

I'm a huge fan of Baccano! Heck, Ladd Russo used to be my avatar.

[Dermonster]

Spades Slick / Jack Noir

Dance contest.

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The two men stared each other down.

On one side, Spades Slick, Robotic arm and eyepatch, snazzy suit, and a fancy hat.

On the other, Jack Noir, A ragged spade on a red cloth hung around his neck. A ridiculous hat adorned his head, and tentacles and wings adorned his back and sides. A sword struck through his midsection. Dressed in a new suit just for such an occasion.

DANCE!

Oh hey sucka, said Spades, the stage switching to the gears of LoHaC, Lets see what you got. Classic time, the robot.

Remixed! he shouted, dancing to the grinding beat.

Gyrating this way and that, his limbs matched the beats perfectly, the winding of the music box beating to the tune of the gears.

Winding down, he made a 'come get some' guesture to his counterpart.

Oh, poser you got nothing let me show you some good ol' jazz! he shouted, the landscape turning to the Land of Sax and Horns.

'ere we go now sound the horns you gonna get served! he said, Movin his body like a smooth criminal.

Limbs and tentacles flailing this way and that, he danced to the tune, hat rolling across his arms, tossed at the other man, orbit the head, grab flip finish.

Oh yes, he said, punk you got served.

Who's the winner? You decide. But forever will it be known that it was the most epic dance battle in the history of Derse.

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Originally prompt said belly dancing, but I changed it to break dancing, then changed it halfway through to just this.

[Graven_Image]

Crossover time! See if you can guess who it is before you hit the catchphrase that makes it blindingly obvious.


Player Versus Player

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He looked over the world he found himself in. It was familiar, for the most part. Red rock, boiling lava, and gears grinding to the beat of time.

Over the years, it had become his home.

And now he had a visitor.

The kid standing across the obsidian plain was not dressed fancily. A striped shirt, some denim trousers, and a cap.

But he had learned not to judge on outward appearances.

The two drew their weapons. He held Caledscratch, the old favorite. The kid across the plain drew out a baseball bat, alchemized to glow a furious blue and radiate heat.

"wow son that is a mighty fine bludgeon you have there"

The kid smiled, but he didn't let his guard down.

"what were you if you don't mind my asking"

"Heir of Light. And you?"

"knight of time"

The kid broke into a goofy grin, the kind John used to wear all the time.

"Well, then. This'll be fun!"

The kid barrelled into a dead run straight towards him, bat held aloft. He brought up Caledscrath and parried, once, twice. He swung again, but the kid was gone after rebounding away.

He was suddenly aware that he had no idea where his opponent was.

SMAAAAASH

And suddenly he knew.

"okay i admit you got me on that one but hang on a sec"

WHACK

"i said stop beaning me and tell me how you did that"

"Hm... How about no."

BASH

"let me guess"

PARRY

"heir of light equals lightspeed travel"

REPARRY

"how about it am i in the ballpark"

"Maybe..."

THUD

The kid disappeared again, popping back at the other end of the field.

"Try to figure this one out."

The kid held his hand to the sky, erupting in a bright yellow glow.

"PK...."

The ground shook.

"STAAAAARSTOOOORM!"

He stopped time just as the first meteors hit the ground. He hated meteors.

He made his way through the halted landscape, coming up on the kid, frozen in a single instant of concentration.

When he restarted the world, Caledscratch was embedded in the kid's gut.

"Aww."

"yeah sucks dont it"

The sword disappeared.

"dont worry youll get better at this"

The landscape around them shifted, to what he assumed was the kid's home.

"you got all the time in the world after all"

"Heh. Right."

"names dave by the way"

"I'm Ness. Pleased to meet you."

[SeptimusMagistos]

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Okay, I guessed at the part with the bat, but I don't think Ness can use PK Starstorm.